Hieuman/reddit-doc · Datasets at Hugging Face

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Varicious	I'd say elementalist. With their four elements that's basically 4 builds, but I'm sure there's plenty more. Plus, they can easily farm and aren't assassins. (I don't like playing sins at all.) I know they can nuke in SCs and do odd ends stuff like bonding for UW clearing. My personal choice would be Dervish, as that's what I rerolled after monking for years on end. Dervs can VoS in so many clears its ridiculous, and they are fun in terms of PvE vanqing etc, offering many good Elites to build around.	5,370,161	[ 3, 2, 8, 6, 5 ]	201	[ 7939547, 8431207, 8099330, 5618365, 4799579, 505655, 162342, 8849388, 1670672, 6942268, 6832469, 1191761, 7681267, 2286923, 355142, 9856718, 8363630, 4088666, 5618364, 4750884, 1465543, 1476726, 4784634, 9957894, 634979, 4099527, 5818948, 6245910, 2779712, 6143723, 164181, 6789897, 9331968, 2421625, 4061391, 4422855, 4691410, 6220922, 3952971, 5435953, 8259630, 8431213, 7556059, 1946667, 5527801, 2917493, 850429, 7709035, 8082864, 1375815, 2582270, 3291245, 5658410, 9385648, 4708559, 2702697, 8735814, 8851543, 3412138, 987579, 8259600, 5360956, 8134644, 5119035, 6082963, 5031991, 6647290, 6197701, 3803682, 9270082, 6691588, 10012335, 3370602, 3459989, 1398537, 7393767, 1876164, 2367966, 8849368, 10016754, 9958174, 1508484, 7620093, 3979394, 7637983, 2936294, 495445, 2670357, 5800970, 6191990, 5768444, 6632723, 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Varicious	I can't post any at the moment, as far as Ele goes it depends where you're at, and what the monsters are weak to. I don't know Paragons well but if a hero can run Imba well then I'd use that. Sorry for the lack of info. Also, main the class and do character specific titles on one you enjoy, regardless of what it can do. Each class is good at something, but out of the characters you have I'd say main the Assassin or Ele. I mained a Monk and it became dry after I 100%d <PERSON> so I rerolled a Dervish. It's the most fun I've had yet!	5,370,162	[ 8, 3, 5, 2 ]	201	[ 9270082, 8462292, 3798136, 2495590, 1015226, 4099557, 2684933, 3750271, 9910440, 4697983, 8035333, 7700325, 8735019, 3952970, 9668060, 6048237, 3770107, 6851825, 1895540, 9798920, 268388, 2557579, 3745999, 7083567, 6391506, 3680526, 3356493, 2694683, 313486, 3104381, 1946398, 4401203, 3913194, 3925546, 6179894, 10009696, 7858581, 2290301, 9668067, 2294997, 9104117, 4220885, 7167209, 2599280, 1693373, 3104400, 2514936, 8035330, 3195865, 5487187, 7806631, 5410212, 6283676, 8718635, 8479094, 3440151, 7599804, 6457619, 509406, 3235479, 9648627, 6179896, 2033211, 2684869, 8718641, 10146913, 3608584, 2548747, 4105793, 8343469, 8812772, 4579957, 7889166, 9284378, 935096, 2654412, 6176133, 2036983, 6111864, 6382541, 1006126, 3066670, 9898191, 5126340, 1058687, 9407516, 8888439, 4940346, 6910912, 5114971, 8543124, 1378401, 1854182, 2013126, 3083819, 4785721, 2772024, 2955006, 5851391, 7933585, 6726274, 7600024, 492657, 9976618, 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Varicious	Welcome to /r/Nofap I am a newcomer myself; and wow I now realize so much. I'm troubled because although accepting this challenge at a short two days ago, i wokeup today with a bad erection and invited a girl over tonight. I am currently conflicted with this idea Best of luck to you my friend. It's a long, slow battle; but it's a path well taken to a better future	5,370,163	[ 0, 1 ]	17	[ 9342640, 3805571, 3984877, 7736891, 5565126, 40435, 2785179, 2493910, 627433, 7548230, 1345276, 1638029, 8502310, 6478398, 5630994, 4429339, 3509750, 6493634, 8781175, 7034513, 2857294, 7551727, 8040906, 3721792, 1102007, 7507156, 847200, 2127859, 3822030, 4685795, 3344620, 1310252, 1748011, 231712, 547041, 9962143, 59592, 7639010, 7116854, 6305514, 8648936, 8590954, 10030542, 8861133, 3392890, 9793932, 1449592, 9996459, 1256525, 1182761, 3756589, 2926721, 9003194, 6995248, 8683352, 1498293, 3738877, 7995129, 4010585, 3908890, 7226014, 8144951, 7134084, 6072107, 5339563, 7034516, 2196470, 2557367, 6103754, 4367792, 4049197, 6388239, 2934853, 1725860, 3790355, 3203241, 1530439, 5634882, 1511811, 3669636, 1830141, 6638638, 4172444, 9680623, 1539313, 2292060, 2131442, 8172186, 34855, 594172, 7117125, 404406, 2055069, 14578, 9555710, 9379469, 7551725, 2312759, 6636352, 7560979, 2228475, 3484860, 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Varicious	I smoke buds way more, and find it harder to stop. I have smoked since 13, picking on everyday around 15. I'm now 19. I began pmoing around 11, rather young. pretty much everyday since, and consistently throughout my 3 year relationship (15-18). I didn't see my pmo as a problem, usually once a day, until PIED occurred. Even then I didn't know the cause. A year after being single now, I stumbled upon this subreddit. I've been attempting to make positive changes in my life: diet, exercise, etc. I have been on 4 years of smoking everyday. I don't see myself quitting, although I did stumble upon r/leaves . I'm on day 2 of NoFap and I love the idea and purpose so I think it won't be as hard. TL;DR substance ;pmo yes it's 'just weed' lalala but I think I've grown a strong mental addiction, especially since starting during puberty stages.	5,370,164	[ 0, 1 ]	17	[ 9244236, 8648620, 1345332, 9364402, 4516073, 9113453, 9068120, 2200182, 7177089, 7116983, 2316347, 7180425, 3539240, 619519, 642914, 2870706, 10067994, 8827389, 1345303, 9631367, 6032575, 9340509, 8667862, 2744150, 10092479, 5964842, 917700, 6380257, 2647728, 9494360, 7112947, 4211255, 3434678, 9456154, 6344612, 4516087, 3880353, 7462278, 1345271, 4888442, 1437806, 3745958, 2808986, 4420130, 5600687, 2597859, 154525, 10014699, 1095365, 1034534, 155751, 2602616, 6435370, 7900632, 2120633, 5513813, 8407696, 4143808, 5382823, 188582, 2606828, 2241477, 7813572, 1017652, 5946402, 5066288, 8105232, 7828139, 1833009, 7381634, 7837640, 1438724, 9868559, 6163640, 7420053, 7513854, 865423, 6376434, 8794774, 7050926, 8931668, 5309966, 4597337, 9765049, 7715712, 3144142, 8818071, 7687379, 8523242, 6754164, 9518137, 7905984, 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Varicious	There are plenty of benefits to Nofap. My favorites are the reset on your natural manstincts. You'll notice you actually want to go out and meet and talk to people, and that alone is really nice. some smaller mentions are less acne, way more energy, and self-control that'll make you feel proud. Its tough nonetheless. I've never chronically done it, but pretty much every/other day for for last 9 years, and I'm 19 now. I did experience PIED with my ex several times, and it was embarrassing and I didn't know why it happened. No ones here to force or control you. This is one of those self building practices that will make you feel a lot more positive about life. I'm only on 3 days here, but I feel the energy building up - and man is it great.	5,370,165	null	17	null
Varicious	That's awesome dude! I also wanna ride the waves of NoFap I really feel for you though, I find myself running into beautiful woman, and they're readily smiling at me. I'm a tall guy(6'2), but don't have the personality of 'a tall guy,' & have pretty intimidating facial features. (beard and pretty big eyebrows, 99% stoic.) Something about that makes me feel really conscious and I always end up pissed off at myself because I feel I can't show my true self. It's odd, but I can understand in the way you get aggravated when you messup an encounter. Best of luck on your journey. it's pride-filled and an awesome refreshment of life,	5,370,166	[ 0, 1 ]	17	[ 9253500, 6383012, 4430040, 6072628, 6383008, 431913, 2312016, 3434048, 7212131, 3431477, 3883699, 7961853, 4153410, 5446516, 7540043, 8950140, 5302704, 2632843, 7757013, 8138160, 8782120, 373150, 743223, 8325878, 1015970, 2475318, 3266100, 3156855, 6486935, 8790257, 462868, 1994656, 153363, 6167952, 3436058, 2086327, 2752750, 1386723, 5078156, 1358496, 5748827, 3648375, 6855264, 6259201, 2802750, 9391315, 1625384, 5275721, 2416430, 3867409, 9069432, 674220, 7746255, 374089, 1138626, 2543137, 7607150, 7639571, 5317999, 957441, 6221055, 9587239, 10132386, 3678458, 6384971, 10095796, 9705445, 3288808, 5329122, 5440763, 5184947, 9587244, 3576318, 2169655, 7655271, 6964528, 9898388, 4536010, 8129541, 5019652, 2893370, 4322264, 9778651, 7560891, 8893956, 5614740, 1011544, 7974866, 1631533, 9584437, 2870298, 971050, 2459149, 10127700, 7967948, 3954936, 462870, 9881363, 862126, 6565693, 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Varicious	This happened to me two years ago, and again years before that. pmo gave me PIED during most of my relationship of three years (15-18). I have been depressed and starting to touch into serious dopamine outlets; whether through o,, drugs, or pills. I realize I have to take a step back and have dropped dropped them all. I am just smoking buds, but in much noticeably smaller amounts in my day by day routine. If you need an accountability partner, shoot me a pm and we can set something up. Welcome pal!	5,370,167	[ 0 ]	17	[ 4326932, 4229897, 424272, 4879067, 6306131, 3144142, 4075728, 2364694, 636658, 6035620, 3040153, 1769640, 8172105, 7298980, 2658077, 10113406, 4100574, 2317997, 696416, 8185182, 5120264, 4420130, 7243001, 7800636, 6814186, 7243020, 8861581, 1430896, 281056, 5396884, 5624914, 3172758, 1871126, 7042913, 2170059, 4002330, 5482152, 9692626, 7332270, 2738673, 10151939, 159547, 2750917, 9499338, 3193578, 44097, 2195055, 8155088, 44507, 1935249, 3540479, 4013845, 3725249, 8402768, 5705874, 2931561, 8661250, 7406948, 4215538, 7431692, 5623129, 6517705, 4063211, 1536855, 5382890, 8014520, 2260964, 6203593, 6291530, 8012118, 5713683, 6020164, 2015921, 5896072, 10191718, 1850107, 4073869, 4000752, 802692, 5178927, 6596547, 3881784, 4167983, 9755103, 9672938, 1463212, 7099998, 7648680, 2078300, 3735868, 9902851, 2702035, 8563164, 5197766, 5248321, 867651, 3606853, 385318, 2405811, 4253500, 2560300, 8828129, 8843497, 44901, 8091649, 1861279, 16451, 8213493, 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Varicious	Hey bro you all good? Its a good thing you realized that nothing good comes from smoking and took action. Onto your girl issue, I completely relate. You stated that having a thing for someone suppresses and distracts the urge. I met somebody who is turned off by cigs, but is the most amazing beautiful person I've met, so I hastily cut off smoking after a pack a day for 5 years. I'm entering my 5th day tomorrow and omg. Its an adventure, but I also know that it's for me, no one else. If this girl leaves I won't say I'm too stressed or upset and smoke again. This is for my freedom. From a less serious perspective, just go for it man! Bump into her after class and introduce yourself, maybe give reason to why you noticed her. If she's into you, go ahead and ask if you could hangout outside of class! Boom! Feel free to PM me, everyone could use a support buddy!	5,370,168	null	17	null
Varicious	I used this method. I haven't smoked in 45 days as of today. I've been at a steady two tins a week since. Oftentimes I'll tease myself with a drag of an unlit, just to say no and walk away a champ. Although I didn't beat nicotine fully, I made a step toward a healthier life style. and honestly, I don't want a smoke ever again. Objectively it's a much more viable option for nicotine consumption - which we all know is a bitch to kick. Just do you man and keep them pearly whites clean. just don't get a tin a day habit. then you're really screwed	5,370,169	[ 1, 0 ]	143	[ 4949496, 4550877, 2169050, 168125, 1034289, 3846158, 6162949, 7615731, 458838, 9187094, 9042838, 1899158, 1454011, 1420276, 6949377, 10085661, 9211059, 981030, 2006587, 6957778, 7542196, 1396849, 2052951, 1075292, 6949339, 8773500, 1144674, 5505231, 7876239, 2619025, 3663166, 3477607, 5967079, 5967077, 9241522, 3077987, 10083749, 10090205, 3053750, 1478854, 4299956, 2793254, 3585488, 7751868, 192347, 6062867, 7769887, 4670280, 3097289, 4684497, 9340725, 6095062, 6949454, 8404766, 825748, 6690854, 4299974, 6227625, 6949369, 4225417, 206799, 286267, 3490200, 2335353, 2695306, 6622838, 7509988, 1145205, 9602799, 2052893, 9399466, 9878809, 8606322, 5367133, 6530112, 6949463, 7876236, 907612, 7516534, 2743932, 1453995, 5298200, 661723, 945374, 9450551, 4640100, 9981043, 6693686, 192291, 7720182, 9602746, 9315427, 7885911, 8228815, 2656100, 10095284, 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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies	You can't study to much, you are working towards your future. It's not her place to say either way or more do wth she care?? I do agree she sounds very jealous but the disrespect is not okay. Or the snide comments. These type are bullies they know the non confrontational people will let stuff slide. Someone else would have got in her face and been telling back, because her reactions are unneeded. The up side is your classmates are seeing for themselves she's a nut lol	8,521,984	[ 62 ]	208	[ 3797418, 6343187, 7258652, 2432195, 7431660, 3107163, 8050885, 9145646, 9046328, 2121309, 7406954, 1617016, 5256896, 4117744, 8046493, 7067253, 4986116, 3435444, 1494789, 8905836, 1701506, 3522374, 1798303, 7311756, 7843262, 3754663, 9127884, 3711132, 8669581, 2432730, 5476616, 5217739, 6339525, 5848849, 3350239, 3395945, 9859328, 2539776, 4359130, 9811944, 9284863, 1948183, 9129995, 1579628, 296577, 7600151, 6297386, 5340114, 2788894, 1804527, 192627, 56076, 4897882, 5932535, 7311820, 4231998, 397318, 3795755, 2458619, 8989332, 413737, 7769767, 7311821, 4280683, 1293187, 8192362, 8769862, 6404746, 6688354, 2898382, 2502666, 4471463, 3973964, 2427662, 2107263, 6615878, 9347005, 5457016, 7713051, 9663176, 1239882, 2138171, 6225933, 1395892, 7354323, 5369015, 5263767, 9497599, 9346883, 6169694, 10085823, 8291284, 8705717, 6396002, 4609449, 4066827, 6396008, 9370147, 2478371, 9715804, 912289, 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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies	Saying to them "I have zero contact with my parents, there is a history of abuse and I'm no contact and staying that way" is all you should need to say. They can ignore her calls once they realize what she's pulling, the demented part is a 67 year old woman calling your higher ups like you are in elementary school not a grown adult. Side note I have family like your mother I'm no contact with, best decision! They brought nothing but drama and problems. Totally can see your side and it's healthier for your child.	8,521,985	[ 59 ]	150	[ 6521204, 1898019, 9988668, 1715905, 2268847, 2871855, 6939932, 1860555, 1735205, 5621820, 6521111, 7675185, 283656, 2623117, 4869076, 8517078, 7417391, 6521171, 4144838, 9708692, 6927598, 5607918, 1897993, 2631345, 7452341, 9500247, 6104877, 283628, 8839365, 10109216, 9755180, 3895011, 9920227, 2906577, 4295225, 7788200, 6135451, 6897005, 2598665, 5220028, 8405256, 9418983, 264875, 8817084, 7379231, 413657, 3205201, 7021224, 3009875, 9770498, 9419004, 1675641, 8517124, 4107818, 912894, 9404733, 6176518, 9171106, 4871891, 7324398, 5678154, 6831112, 4215093, 9107754, 1317842, 1102928, 6258252, 8563477, 3113081, 7910814, 5478204, 8084484, 5809652, 10028351, 283671, 6292503, 8554655, 4247167, 8283771, 5480519, 3140982, 225155, 4024310, 6733952, 7779040, 9203179, 9020587, 709477, 3067177, 9451065, 8312132, 9866132, 3676491, 1463213, 1236140, 9164371, 6969088, 413715, 4107903, 7082543, 7832847, 5315727, 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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies	There are mature, ready to settle down 24 year olds and then party it up 24 year olds. While she might fall in between, she is in a different stage in her life than you. Age gaps aren't always a big deal but this one sounds it. You were the third wheel because you have already been through that stage of life. While it would be rude without context for her to do that, you also stated it's just another day. Are you upset it was your birthday or that she is doing what college age kids do and not staying in the night with you?	8,521,986	null	123	null
reddit_dump_Duckyjammies	Do you keep them out because of not liking them? It's your account and your choice honestly. I dislike my husbands family (it's like a <PERSON> show) and refused any requests they sent. My husbands relationship is his with them, ours is separate. They also can not speak English so there's extra problems there but how I see it is, I have zero desire for these people in my life I'm not adding them. Did the same with some of my own, the family that thrives on drama. Most likely they are mosey it's why a lot of people add others on Facebook. But they may be also trying to get closer, since your bf said he doesn't care though and you are happy how it is I'd leave it.	8,521,987	null	21	null
reddit_dump_Duckyjammies	Unless he has a scholarship or grants then you are also paying for his schooling and he should be talking to you about it. Has he even told you his plans at all like where he would like to work etc? I'd feel the same as you, even more than deciding about children without you or schooling, I'd be annoyed he makes decisions as if he is single without responsibilities. You need to get some kind of answer from him as for what his plan is but it sounds like it will be a pulling teeth situation. Good luck!	8,521,988	[ 41, 62, 61 ]	199	[ 4105865, 1110814, 2425876, 2653650, 915957, 1281227, 5316962, 5127159, 5080034, 6280428, 4503782, 3508203, 6413085, 4539272, 10060395, 9940505, 8703365, 2098566, 1465363, 2123930, 6769959, 9179549, 3273696, 8690703, 4322686, 1847151, 1758921, 7913147, 8372172, 6416194, 6069358, 5908145, 8902598, 4113261, 6400367, 9653782, 4167615, 7167007, 1886282, 5436213, 8752489, 1624603, 179342, 7572575, 9500143, 5188353, 2435281, 938432, 8415094, 7048647, 2164505, 5747574, 6644955, 3795561, 9832761, 9152776, 5581875, 5380155, 481297, 48229, 8705672, 229235, 614971, 10012972, 7432904, 4592347, 9410606, 2164575, 4175256, 1760332, 6254289, 730811, 5829313, 1375025, 7431586, 4770072, 4213993, 1147405, 10064724, 4890218, 4821147, 7629392, 493541, 2438025, 2510135, 605257, 413666, 9116496, 9311954, 5071098, 8205446, 8111922, 1715858, 1558325, 2763884, 2956888, 10113611, 233508, 7950056, 6413083, 9121646, 657212, 6228441, 2510144, 5903733, 5496176, 4647864, 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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies	The fact you seem to believe everything will be left behind is crazy in itself. You made a HUGE decision in a major life change for you to live with an ex in a city you have never visited, think you will drive away from your past and when he starts to date it won't cause issues? - yeah can't see how this is all a ticking time bomb at ALL.	8,521,989	[ 28 ]	199	[ 7542006, 8040136, 2114435, 10190400, 4658840, 2863379, 3659695, 1850432, 10079983, 3418145, 8057363, 9678444, 8404153, 2655825, 319196, 8999980, 5099487, 9284967, 5895313, 7924468, 9975589, 325238, 1847196, 5975382, 4360283, 9171018, 4652739, 912866, 818102, 4870882, 271705, 5583269, 1606395, 5252441, 9668229, 3710975, 2761867, 5582277, 9622360, 387645, 6908436, 9353097, 4420311, 1236226, 1667607, 7386652, 9473125, 4871748, 5278693, 2120678, 8384881, 4159627, 7776607, 2607702, 4386598, 2462688, 5065073, 7481089, 6272069, 8480517, 2187877, 4073297, 8842144, 2089933, 1763380, 2287857, 2467592, 8808405, 4791872, 985845, 3421315, 3298888, 4892479, 274409, 8220799, 5052590, 5165847, 6228647, 8082232, 9763513, 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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies	If this is a running theme I'm leaning to think you are doing something that is putting off all your friends. Without more info though we can't help you with that. A previous poster was correct though if they are talking over you, ignoring you etc they are not your friends. There was a girl when I was in hs we did this too (we weren't trying to be mean, just annoyed she did not or could not read the social cues that we were not wanting her around.) we would act like she wasn't there. Our reasoning was she had really weird mood shifts that you had to tip toe around, she also invited herself to stuff. Are you expecting to much maybe? Are you considering people who are sharing classes friends when they don't really know you, so over stepping boundaries? Are you inviting yourself to events?	8,521,990	[ 48, 28 ]	243	[ 74917, 9621483, 4961756, 6695544, 759066, 74923, 2299676, 73198, 3618268, 1837727, 50909, 8549211, 3769651, 3273733, 5374206, 7103296, 8237074, 5409068, 1041673, 2254509, 46291, 3504893, 6557959, 9331032, 3193375, 7781796, 74252, 4048637, 4892384, 8799333, 2548791, 4221161, 9455091, 3918418, 2709311, 1976258, 5432782, 9308859, 5095699, 10075068, 9175197, 646601, 9203554, 76822, 8216581, 7574539, 1340258, 4871786, 6238763, 2801923, 2630100, 3406267, 4367851, 2433584, 1076014, 6660388, 7598733, 481718, 5622386, 4282379, 3491876, 1482922, 8745190, 8256981, 8015183, 55483, 2227606, 60167, 365737, 62493, 741391, 59649, 3054983, 749166, 8384174, 10096122, 3611896, 74058, 4053759, 2562878, 9123604, 82123, 7865130, 6841368, 8990811, 7580102, 2856814, 8254106, 2030654, 3491970, 4268555, 9127884, 36211, 4801739, 2982016, 3320289, 3071605, 7221773, 40343, 8876390, 4285581, 10133847, 6070660, 1202789, 6366741, 4961760, 8860567, 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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies	God I'm mad for you! She needs to butt out and be told by your husband she does not get to make the rules but he seems to lack a spine. She raised her kids and judging by how her son lacks the ability to tell his mother to respect boundaries and not encourage her shows just how well she did with that task. He needs to get a clue he is married to you and not his mommy. She needs to respect boundaries and if not to get lost.	8,521,991	[ 59 ]	135	[ 3760570, 9517499, 4544553, 5073619, 1995664, 4251850, 10044070, 9965590, 8283649, 8554639, 879745, 5695575, 8763391, 8274740, 1236090, 9284927, 3491800, 6135772, 3491862, 413888, 6355459, 2970710, 5073651, 1978455, 1823126, 2635321, 8277987, 1248874, 5959658, 925988, 8121875, 7518313, 413870, 2798132, 4838455, 3601077, 7542790, 3946023, 6256359, 4816100, 6674118, 8915466, 1995561, 3677193, 9965535, 2204466, 3579791, 5648892, 9362199, 8581248, 9121758, 9679572, 6729508, 3913897, 8426428, 8628490, 4423781, 203683, 2003811, 7546997, 843773, 134299, 4443643, 9658128, 3321095, 6639686, 6200242, 6845626, 5917663, 4892208, 3942257, 1151101, 5529849, 556197, 6505490, 7623224, 9835665, 10196710, 1848056, 982039, 1816729, 6462761, 766756, 9657669, 101956, 2106640, 3037404, 5909228, 8713439, 213146, 7014165, 8117627, 9649889, 4247176, 134934, 316706, 6027875, 9766160, 5549627, 1937554, 8061393, 8438438, 626725, 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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies	I think your husband has been to nice when dealing with him and it encouraged him. Start giving very short answers and no more details. Have you ever seen this son? Have you complained to the manager? (Assuming apartments). It's creepy he is always watching it seems. If he knocks again like that why not just yell through the door who is it? Instead of opening it to him? (Doesn't sound like he has been violent but he is pushy and you don't want him pushing his way on in!) Good luck, you shouldn't have to be on guard of getting his attention every time you leave your house.	8,521,992	[ 59, 60, 61 ]	48	[ 1364712, 8621725, 8769892, 481341, 4213909, 9005727, 4872036, 4312793, 6613467, 9293969, 9849748, 6908760, 7014261, 5340019, 1388527, 7215718, 8291297, 7413243, 9922059, 1906554, 4871848, 7770186, 9649070, 4968596, 7079872, 1755790, 6464765, 3223890, 8735914, 2044159, 481507, 3794443, 6415677, 5059550, 9987299, 2004916, 5471944, 9207031, 1983992, 8966669, 4053656, 9965590, 3551827, 6825614, 1395591, 9113115, 3186101, 6454840, 5088234, 3731837, 6312748, 2858904, 7675283, 6309564, 5241486, 4022667, 9253191, 8864687, 6558035, 6443330, 408097, 7014105, 7227217, 2566407, 4081062, 462902, 7358632, 6437358, 4975473, 865614, 9439603, 1165569, 5315534, 8134691, 9105935, 2837936, 7220619, 5364364, 6020176, 1521333, 4051536, 114272, 5084628, 672402, 10114746, 4867719, 9610755, 4299735, 883544, 5929413, 9319413, 2711315, 2886905, 285766, 9127949, 7950773, 29279, 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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies	I'm surprised it took a bit of scrolling to see someone say this! He is the source of his problems and his sister is enabling his behavior by letting him stay. Why is how he disrespects you both and your home ok? I'd be looking at her differently at this point. If you feel threatened- call the cops. Tell him he has so long to be out because his sister won't. He won't be homeless either if he has an expensive car he could have made better decisions, he didn't so now he can live in his car. I'd be mad with her attitude though that his disrespect and ungratefulness is to just be tolerated.	8,521,993	[ 60 ]	135	[ 3205225, 9343197, 10172405, 2463055, 41143, 4035104, 8117617, 7213208, 5285126, 6206475, 8064911, 6197156, 301028, 5199111, 3671673, 9600258, 42934, 6027142, 1837166, 5600888, 10122390, 2849299, 5350175, 44353, 33907, 482437, 317846, 1247268, 2185871, 6499433, 5584622, 65702, 661828, 7826642, 9446823, 6653858, 4111119, 7476443, 6092977, 1777307, 4336345, 6404684, 1460162, 3042503, 5103501, 3461194, 2744261, 4013982, 7227099, 6817718, 3326705, 9179549, 81062, 2412543, 2475328, 476318, 56718, 7342568, 52457, 4796351, 481692, 7039467, 3645483, 2558141, 6047856, 915920, 1823125, 6193500, 24688, 6550013, 6332111, 2947392, 7770034, 8430181, 42397, 4428577, 31302, 8583683, 4776790, 4584650, 3515028, 6613495, 51774, 4013985, 8359075, 1190684, 5759523, 6685051, 1536058, 929359, 7209560, 1837175, 6552285, 10123774, 2953331, 5381338, 3894387, 74257, 7592141, 30807, 9526364, 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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies	Welcome to catty women. They could be jealous, they could just have nasty attitudes or any other number of stupid reasons. You can't worry on what they are saying because regardless nothing will ever be right, they proved this by them calling you a slut to a prude. Ignore them, part of it is to get a reaction from you to then have even more drama to be catty to you with. Learn from it too, finding true friends involves a LOT of weeding out. You may have been friendly with ones bf and she thought it was flirting and now she has a grudge. Doesn't really matter all that is their problems. Yours is to recognize there are just nasty people around and unless it's causing a problem in a work or living situation, you can't control what they say.	8,521,994	[ 62 ]	243	[ 7196309, 4411593, 8999570, 7802229, 4949847, 8653041, 7352407, 7910716, 2705741, 2816121, 405796, 1503381, 7865130, 1343819, 6800587, 10218079, 3078751, 5383949, 317822, 331133, 5958275, 1465298, 6169707, 5416943, 9962435, 9380781, 6200163, 8762374, 7608277, 6269275, 2670197, 7832280, 8374541, 4212304, 9276448, 4520053, 1660427, 442830, 8535858, 4929912, 1488436, 3428679, 8083574, 1915683, 6272058, 1130122, 2126025, 2194562, 3062695, 5845177, 6268713, 3353623, 8083466, 8837423, 4771562, 9788111, 10158307, 8653951, 1279526, 72168, 1111128, 4386508, 5142361, 912289, 3281455, 8374543, 4326636, 56076, 8295361, 1628226, 3363641, 9634809, 6404752, 5719590, 8801843, 9255575, 3208522, 883734, 7449714, 1488439, 8553570, 9755179, 930046, 7483064, 1024654, 5698898, 6674830, 4132949, 7136724, 6550039, 7592929, 3518242, 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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies	My brother use to figure out how to unlock doors and sneak out while people slept (never got out luckily due to dogs and he was noisy), so family put locks at the top of the door neither of us could reach. He figured out how to get the broom and shove the lock until it unlocked. They are seriously little ninjas lol To OP your sister is right and even if he didn't want to hold your hand you are the adult. <PERSON> explain why while taking hold of his hand. He got away with it once now so he will try again.	8,521,995	[ 59 ]	150	[ 4887988, 8141634, 324201, 1877059, 4642403, 5483639, 8970822, 8786447, 5937280, 4255049, 4183503, 31302, 5495971, 8369843, 4081927, 4169164, 877025, 2736093, 2734153, 1129359, 2863754, 4373834, 66269, 8144820, 1396727, 5222415, 6193853, 708027, 8447462, 1167826, 3991177, 15887, 4631597, 3279339, 36928, 3413931, 7900046, 8383242, 7863147, 5984130, 7052416, 3954842, 1995608, 335671, 7370123, 1977740, 5646859, 4195015, 8717650, 386679, 4936822, 4838764, 4524253, 5045399, 52691, 6155065, 5222814, 9735233, 7369431, 746371, 9965555, 8145280, 2951421, 72382, 2561689, 9611591, 5599345, 3390313, 6533429, 6382579, 10167969, 5979189, 2853310, 5235088, 4410610, 4023653, 8851129, 6591013, 628505, 2334270, 49223, 4322615, 4523957, 8554675, 51116, 9442718, 2032371, 8255989, 1393933, 5252901, 508912, 19772, 1199886, 5625828, 3624531, 8426903, 198857, 5464469, 1394410, 8869889, 2991034, 2734324, 9122038, 8390479, 2299245, 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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies	It sounds in some ways, yes she has been disrespectful, that you are blaming her actions but it might really be you are seeing she doesn't share your same ideals and morals. I'm with you I'd be pissed off if she brought a stranger into my home, drugs or did a disappearing act. But being mad she isn't working on herself, I think that's part of her personality that you didn't see until living together. When you live with friends, did it once and never again, even the closest of friends learn and see other sides of each other they may not like. Deciding to stay friends or not doesn't have to be done this instance. Maybe if she moves out and you are unaware of some things (bringing men home, focusing on men in an unhealthy way, drugs, not knowing she didn't come home) you can remain friends. Or maybe she has changed with time and you just are going separate ways. Any time people move in together, friends or not and regardless for how long, ground rules should be set. What is common sense and automatic to one might not be to another. Example if I lived with a friend and was going to be gone extremely late I'd give them a heads up just out of curtesy. Others might look at it they are adults and don't have to check in.	8,521,996	null	123	null
reddit_dump_Duckyjammies	It's kind of funny because it was my best friend who moved in, friends for ten years, we were your age and I realized the lifestyle she was living was drastically different than what I wanted. (She also was a massive slob lol) I think 21-25 is when people start choosing life paths after college. You sound like you are not wanting a party lifestyle and want to build a home with your bf and she's going in another direction of focusing on men, drugs etc. It's not a bad thing it just sucks since there's so much history in the friendship. I now only see my friend I mentioned maybe once every two years and we talk once in a while on fb but otherwise we grew apart.	8,521,997	null	199	null
reddit_dump_Duckyjammies	Agreed she will get worse if she realizes you are planning to leave. By locking you down she thinks she is going to keep control, but you are right she is stunting your growth in a lot of ways. The horror they play non Christian music? That's bizarre, do you only watch the Disney channel? You need to know about things in life to protect yourself but her logic is if we ignore it it doesn't exist.	8,521,998	null	150	null
reddit_dump_Duckyjammies	I said that in another comment, I agree. It just isn't a foreign concept like some are making out. Unless it literally is, maybe they live in a different country than those of us who find this normal. I also stated her sulking for a week is extreme but <PERSON> posted he has had issues like this before with her and understandings so maybe there is more to it than just signing a gift from the baby.	8,521,999	null	135	null
reddit_dump_Duckyjammies	It sounds like he is bringing girls to your bfs place like your bf is single so girls for both to hook up with. I'm not saying that was your bfs plan or thought, I think his friend is making an uncomfortable situation. Because while his friend is booking up with a girl, unless it's a threesome or something what is this other girl doing? Why bring her along if it's not for her to hook up with his friend? Might be innocent or not, if not it doesn't sound like it's your bfs doing though. But it would make most uncomfortable.	8,522,000	[ 60, 59, 31, 48 ]	21	[ 34045, 7907675, 55878, 1965271, 10050112, 9617868, 4115965, 10199067, 6058872, 7038409, 2429377, 1032330, 2254777, 2956812, 6927579, 150549, 2592394, 3274011, 7635513, 595017, 8848415, 1982293, 2218020, 6295120, 7988494, 5748928, 3184233, 8335873, 9297749, 1162096, 3491993, 1466883, 9243743, 2281590, 9530989, 7782517, 10014382, 7262694, 7974860, 9697940, 1607983, 7598733, 3811571, 7093916, 5282346, 3187345, 5743303, 6898637, 6973228, 3926481, 10003830, 8905419, 7130424, 9745579, 6887514, 8715062, 6834043, 897504, 4555718, 2039728, 2458486, 21464, 3043664, 8324850, 930297, 2854249, 5699625, 9578242, 1399693, 9121645, 240104, 7079257, 9587995, 8948104, 9963349, 7709686, 630516, 9116712, 6998224, 5469323, 7819019, 4059145, 2331986, 10166815, 3508410, 7288562, 7521323, 62952, 7288549, 2300688, 4546456, 5343314, 8478400, 8537853, 4628861, 3163767, 2296889, 619713, 3338487, 9495806, 2819823, 4802438, 8236918, 8774591, 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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies	It's okay to cut toxic family members out of your life or to set strict boundaries. She sounds abusive like someone else said. If you don't want to totally cut her off you could set boundaries. Even if you don't tell her these boundaries, say see her for dinner every two months or something, if she starts berating you then you get up and walk away after telling her this is not acceptable and is not continuing. If you want a closer relationship try to talk to her about the stuff you told us, tell her this is why you are not close to her and see if she wants to work on it if that's what you want. But if she got angry when it was brought up I'd point out and this is why I can't be around you.	8,522,001	null	150	null
reddit_dump_Duckyjammies	This! Also I worked in daycare, how many kids are in his class? If a big class (more than 6) there should be a teachers aid in with them. Either way how she informed you is NOT ok or professional and if one of us did that it would be an issue. Never mind that, it shamed your kiddo for something that is normal for his age. Kids play, do t want to stop etc. I'm also doubting he would even if making it up would come up with cleaning it up himself. But based on what you said and how she informed you, I'd trust your kiddo. Oh also he might have had the accident because she is causing anxiety or nervousness. If this is true I doubt it's the first time she's had a heavy hand approach.	8,522,002	null	51	null
reddit_dump_Duckyjammies	Yes two family members. One is still dealing with it at four, the other has out grown it. Your families reaction is way out there, why would you punish him? For pooping on the floor yes, but not beating him. Your kiddo needs to get over the fear of the pain, not be punished for something that he was embarrassed by (hiding it probably for that and fear of being in trouble.) Also try changing his diet to help? Yogurt can help and might soften things up like the miralax. Cut back on binding foods like bananas and cheese?	8,522,003	[ 59, 61, 56, 49, 60, 48, 39, 62, 33, 14, 36, 15, 41 ]	45	[ 7638285, 5204597, 1815303, 3746221, 8079178, 1128157, 8212619, 3650234, 8883774, 1544969, 7015217, 3710393, 6651380, 4988567, 9204101, 10027250, 6046562, 216131, 4512117, 7552264, 4141565, 4011911, 6454840, 8344011, 6817675, 1610902, 9421027, 6266167, 7426602, 1901270, 5251571, 759081, 372259, 848661, 7751882, 2003564, 8829814, 2277058, 260814, 6972553, 8889762, 7584784, 831569, 478968, 3526369, 1580880, 6766377, 9525974, 5463293, 3670331, 1503517, 807484, 255968, 246617, 6356165, 6706711, 871137, 2301186, 8009481, 5490033, 1126843, 624293, 4473471, 7712963, 7019733, 1047441, 3316029, 5435140, 1760332, 9384168, 6216584, 5729865, 6392150, 1509587, 9347554, 193667, 7032235, 9160621, 4312816, 6579412, 515250, 9284936, 4660622, 6530424, 356497, 5512452, 6575758, 8836444, 8209391, 10027938, 5307950, 9616042, 8205437, 9635430, 7024687, 3090231, 1597699, 1116934, 848754, 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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies	1 - you asked, don't ask if you don't truly want to know. 2 - Jesus she's probably sick of being hounded by something so stupid so is lying because she's not going to win either way. 3 - get therapy for your severe insecurity. 4 - what are you wanting people to say? Dude could have a ten inch dick, there's NOTHING that will change that and that she slept with him. You are hyper focusing on something that will never change. Past is done, both in what she has said and who she has slept with.	8,522,004	[ 59 ]	123	[ 4555086, 7307727, 591668, 4470023, 7850246, 954180, 2107263, 9361772, 676518, 6572964, 4154082, 191753, 6372976, 6828346, 7341835, 8774858, 4735251, 9484357, 4270505, 1652442, 8121297, 5516902, 4871741, 991308, 1606495, 1160334, 7639580, 2037959, 1518968, 3319365, 2387514, 7116984, 5845064, 9481018, 2753654, 4658557, 9655416, 2227643, 8573727, 7447782, 608386, 1779108, 10190748, 3559511, 7323721, 5490318, 1007234, 8774657, 2903937, 4012526, 4731496, 1471725, 676521, 1172953, 4099641, 6964432, 2865519, 938423, 5263767, 6447184, 413583, 1628226, 8176843, 3913816, 5057265, 930029, 3277124, 1438916, 2834004, 1749761, 6521206, 4223181, 6436383, 4871996, 6491404, 6461652, 4603170, 1088060, 7547704, 662067, 1748774, 3685496, 8999567, 4400727, 5719074, 9693102, 10201606, 3444111, 8520526, 9310590, 3316684, 76068, 8139302, 1119538, 1782187, 2520738, 4658543, 5390067, 413620, 6002140, 7770072, 848126, 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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies	If he had been there before, which it sounds like a place teens would go at times, wouldn't his scent he around the property anyway? I doubt him yelling for help would be heard, even so as sad as it is look how many people just don't want to get involved. If it's a known abandoned spots and teens end up there, do ya really listening to their yelling? Sad but that could be explained away too. I do know as a kid climbing in a cave in NH I suddenly panicked at the closer in quarters and for whatever reason my instinct was to pull my knees up to my chest too. Not sure if you think 'if I can do this, it's not that small' or what but could have helped lodge me there. My dad however noticed my panic and calmed me down (hate small spaces like that!), if he was high or goofing off there's so many scenarios that could have played out, and from the sound of it the only one that may be able to tell if he was involved, isn't stable and you can't believe what he does say true or not. Sad. His poor parents though, their kid is missing and all this time just two blocks away.	8,522,005	null	118	null
reddit_dump_Duckyjammies	Not about breastfeeding but your comment about acknowledging babies until a certain point. That's something that happened often and not as far off as a lot of people who know about it, would like to believe. There was about a year ago a story about an elderly woman discussing her family and their graves. There were five infants in the family plot. Three without names and two that shared the same name. When questioned she stated it was common "in her parents time" to not name children to get attached since survival wasn't a guarantee and also to reuse names. I remember it due to finding death notices for unnamed infants when doing genealogy. It was sadly common and was an upsetting thought that those children were basically replaceable. It then made me question my own family, both my grandmothers (I'm 36 for reference) had still births. It was common to not name the baby or have any kind of memorial for closure. People seem to think this stuff was way far off in the past when it was only a few generations away. 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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies	I'm wondering if he has issues of his own that you remind him of. Your OCD, maybe he fears hurting woman or something. What I wanted to comment on though is I also have OCD, congrats on getting it under control. It will be a struggle unfortunately but the fact you got it controlled in a year shows you have the ability to do so. So while I understand the apprehension of roller coaster if with it, it most likely will happen but you have the ability to get control again. Also getting away from your father will lessen your anxiety and should improve your OCD to a degree.	8,522,007	null	21	null
reddit_dump_Duckyjammies	All stuff about open relationships aside, you hit the comfortable stage which is why a lot of people do break up. I think you were right with the "grass is greener" comment. I've been with my husband six years also, it's different because there are no longer "first times" or that excited lust spark because you know each other so well. It's not a bad thing, it's just a high to experience a new relationship and what comes with it. I thought on leaving to but realized I was wanting to leave because things got comfortable and it was stupid for me to want that where I love him and have a good life. Really think things over, once you move forward to split you can't always undo it.	8,522,008	[ 28 ]	199	[ 2841568, 1324611, 2184506, 7056612, 7700245, 2184508, 3652063, 461249, 4560195, 7868798, 2910191, 8660483, 7450214, 4658659, 3570077, 1104600, 985851, 9800015, 8660487, 6822409, 4533498, 2565514, 2854152, 2338800, 8962258, 3758070, 3384744, 4533528, 878761, 4038251, 985190, 8539920, 6853776, 2275848, 1404141, 9858090, 4835850, 9688183, 2437101, 5744655, 493617, 2928896, 8623544, 7994674, 10143574, 6272649, 10208451, 6233203, 4818022, 9768467, 2854238, 9147140, 2818684, 8650479, 6628347, 1763772, 6780037, 6010845, 7167281, 1263723, 380337, 859822, 4892419, 7103392, 3758089, 9663144, 3753683, 282588, 280120, 10030541, 2140760, 3758137, 9985781, 2595055, 7189143, 4926657, 8031399, 7894142, 7360345, 8296584, 10042581, 4873211, 10103337, 310121, 5408829, 274434, 9544623, 102351, 482865, 1667690, 9236977, 7146082, 1253301, 1501995, 7014203, 1697403, 6890812, 4835766, 4170734, 9847044, 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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies	How much time did you spend with him when meeting? I think part of your insecurities is you really don't know him. It's really shitty he isn't offering you a place to stay, my husband and I were long distance and he always let me stay with him. While it's new to you, you also are paying airfare that's expensive. I think you need to get to know him and not put such high hopes on someone that you haven't met that much time with. Also work on your self esteem, for you, not him or any other guy because you will possibly cause issue by creating problems in your head otherwise. That being said long distance is hard and you have to trust and know the person you are with. Good luck!	8,522,009	[ 31 ]	199	[ 770645, 3956709, 6822365, 9794069, 4268763, 5542976, 1982272, 8628077, 4419385, 9693097, 7041881, 202591, 6790402, 7566468, 8450949, 3996534, 3856528, 2387557, 5815041, 8274791, 3978356, 585553, 1892629, 7213209, 249684, 4555236, 2854100, 8829317, 3188671, 2810961, 6841798, 3491843, 6370788, 6093635, 458811, 10143574, 657158, 2854098, 4514621, 5127545, 470851, 8711877, 8460282, 476309, 6153795, 4209565, 5302708, 2286470, 2281144, 5317667, 4117780, 5802908, 1236171, 2159137, 5556264, 3651132, 479102, 9224556, 4985930, 6431013, 274389, 5317631, 2250424, 1586081, 3331029, 7567075, 3352123, 1910667, 3264179, 3410086, 3338140, 1469609, 4368571, 1347661, 3735869, 4533615, 2459577, 6912843, 2509222, 5090305, 9127949, 479101, 8083461, 4223029, 9410606, 7014301, 1965122, 2376037, 442613, 115431, 2434125, 3469049, 7927168, 6072919, 3163762, 1202771, 3389350, 7014169, 2204468, 3264308, 6688227, 8434171, 4963454, 6688447, 1995438, 5386740, 7040814, 8666339, 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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies	Honestly I'd be mad at my wife if I was you. It's her job to deal with her family and setting boundaries. I see no reason for you to be around them, not only are they horrible and disrespectful they never made an attempt. She should have long ago set boundaries and if she wanted a relationship with them than make it clear the topic of you, marriage etc was not to be approached and if they ignored that THEN go no contact. Edit to add - another thing to consider the way she accuses you of abuse, imagine what she could do if you had children? That's not only leverage to manipulate your wife but huge accusations that could truly cause damage. Definitely think on having kids and what could happen if you do stay with your wife.	8,522,010	null	135	null
reddit_dump_Duckyjammies	Two thoughts here, either you love her and just aren't the romantic type or you are very indifferent on being with her. If it's the first she is wanting you to say sweet things it reassures her you love her and want to be with her. But the more I read your responses I think you couldn't care less on being with her which why are you bothering if that's the case? Either way no woman is gonna want to hear "you help pay the rent" as a reason you love her.	8,522,011	[ 62, 28 ]	123	[ 481306, 3711162, 296577, 7865083, 311976, 5976708, 2283683, 7051624, 3582510, 3529427, 1077171, 4985815, 5042925, 5678132, 6172724, 3334208, 4925297, 3622859, 5624487, 3393618, 4429843, 9346863, 6817604, 8434229, 8559095, 7977498, 272819, 6719885, 9687652, 296579, 1962998, 7607145, 2001790, 8230154, 5984429, 6227232, 10064690, 10210323, 5475134, 2427662, 967818, 9282121, 7647209, 7014158, 2794086, 7383281, 2443033, 7333741, 5895831, 1689479, 8323352, 9341056, 4312689, 7765258, 860335, 6687224, 9341054, 7180694, 2222510, 1176149, 2774485, 7770178, 6284688, 6590904, 9884046, 2863390, 311413, 8349940, 2231828, 115246, 6050141, 4322059, 7763083, 6394487, 10109942, 6817484, 9418083, 5181635, 401731, 2736450, 8253845, 3682468, 7974971, 4904168, 2311148, 6634094, 8280182, 2733425, 2405980, 3590293, 5282366, 2127882, 5409229, 4652316, 1413578, 993919, 2834070, 4000538, 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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies	Question, would you have married him or been with him if not for your child? You two sound horribly matched honestly and the physical violence is extremely upsetting and worrisome. You also don't want your child to grow up finding that acceptable. While you can not rely on him being your only source of interaction, it sounds like a miserable situation. I'd seriously be looking to move back to my family, he is not supportive of you and the physical abuse should be a deal breaker.	8,522,012	[ 61, 60, 59 ]	135	[ 8937162, 8829813, 7891676, 926806, 9748832, 1988332, 6605691, 8274791, 3711206, 5282515, 5571330, 3922475, 5340084, 1311739, 2984760, 4035104, 7140557, 7121748, 7986828, 9117511, 3665587, 7014105, 9052779, 7431571, 724650, 4557060, 6752167, 6197077, 7068905, 3528259, 8450779, 770664, 1108877, 6383108, 7406982, 7684007, 5625766, 8581285, 3491949, 135159, 1995426, 9333935, 6086590, 1139046, 8022536, 8083632, 4566129, 3663854, 1705281, 1214110, 8409586, 4871929, 1026943, 5121572, 4338581, 5501078, 7055343, 7661613, 3747988, 6476736, 3768973, 3720020, 4841189, 990710, 7841769, 6404658, 481592, 8615171, 8740049, 8004168, 5127383, 5181097, 6200230, 6461471, 4038374, 6689397, 3664388, 9165017, 5256880, 2238640, 6969088, 2377521, 1102966, 4652973, 4379009, 3281986, 8937116, 2128536, 4411296, 7702500, 5101354, 10154289, 1343894, 1116604, 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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies	Gah I'd have told you not to let friends move in without an end date if known before hand. I made that mistake and it was hell getting the mooch out! You had warning of his character sadly, he kept getting degrees to avoid working so giving him an opportunity to live free with no end date was the worst thing you could have done. But it's done so onto plan B. Do you want him out regardless of him contributing or if he pays rent do you not mind? I'd tell him he has thirty days (unless it's longer in your state as he is now legally a resident in your home), in writing, to get out or start paying so much a month. Put into writing his rent and any other house rules you want him to follow and sign it. I'd personally have a stipulation like "if at any time the rules are broken and rent is laid he has to leave within two weeks" or whatever you are comfortable with. What he does shouldn't matter to you as long as he isn't doing anything illegal from your home, if he works McDonald's etc who cares he will be paying rent. But right now he is freeloading and doesn't care the toll it's taking on the friendship. Now my experience, I will never let a friend move in again except for a select few who I know share my level of cleanliness and are responsible. I let a friend move in and she didn't work, clean, or make an effort. I ended up with her baby even after she moved out, as DSS got involved. But to get rid of her I had to look at apartments and basically evict her to a place I found for her to go. It was a mess and made me realize sometimes people's 'bad luck/breaks' is just laziness. Your friend already milked avoiding work by staying in school and you handed him a free pass. He will not suddenly develop pride and get a job, you are gonna have to kick him in the butt.	8,522,013	null	48	null
reddit_dump_Duckyjammies	Regardless of what could be or what happens with this guy, why are you willing (and did you) accept being second place? She is in love with this guy but can't have him so settled for you. You accept that (!!!) and then suddenly he changes his mind and she drops you like a hot potato. Expect more from a woman you date, do not settle for being someone's second choice! It's better to be alone than be a consolation prize. Edit to add - she's texting about mistakes? I'm betting he is already backing out now. Here's the thing my friend spent twenty years with a guy who straight up told her in her wedding day " I can't be with the one I truly want" and now they are divorced and she's looking at how the whole relationship had issues. Because even if he loved her, she wasn't who he truly wanted so he didn't put the effort in. Also how secure do you think she felt with him and that playing at the back of her mind. You seem to have other aspects of your life together, you will find someone who isn't wasting her life/time on a guy that is keeping her on a string. Maybe she's now realizing what she is giving up, but honestly she isn't good enough for you in what she brings to the relationship.	8,522,014	[ 28, 31 ]	123	[ 1900792, 6168240, 1982311, 645963, 4762214, 2886893, 7144849, 6972581, 202584, 1141407, 6059166, 915929, 6972580, 5678125, 4223046, 9572356, 4202106, 4223147, 1488381, 48992, 1213435, 4644942, 5595000, 54838, 1825506, 3223515, 2750176, 3371816, 1346823, 3223546, 2009079, 8434279, 495528, 2910434, 2947412, 179561, 9672053, 2496484, 9672096, 4961756, 481306, 1919608, 9991380, 287923, 5990008, 7116609, 7483220, 8348438, 8549198, 4116894, 7146347, 9718691, 4620938, 5729969, 6779922, 6556639, 1727957, 10179823, 7059545, 9578260, 5771867, 3371863, 8535698, 3097626, 4871536, 6818525, 2947445, 1090593, 5280374, 9352977, 10079983, 405848, 5080691, 6465180, 2463066, 3293907, 4428366, 6069149, 9810525, 4208846, 45984, 1048054, 5983216, 4038488, 6940291, 5730693, 7117174, 9467110, 4091103, 6069140, 814063, 4939292, 9517502, 1899464, 265108, 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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies	Your friend is catty. I'm 5'10 and was never embarrassed by my height. I've had catty girls comment on my height to me cause guys did like I was tall (btw I'm the same height as my husband and I wear heels etc, so that comment was stupid.) Either way when girls got catty to me I'd tell them not to take it out on me they were ankle biter level. I'm more concerned on why one catty girls comment has you embarrassed? Nothing is wrong with your girlfriend and you shouldn't be embarrassed by her. You should have defended her or at least found your friends comment uncalled for.	8,522,015	[ 62 ]	123	[ 2475666, 1490982, 7778848, 373126, 966721, 5602769, 7865130, 5471542, 1117850, 5690014, 3124222, 9774667, 9510611, 4454123, 5307405, 7546665, 9061417, 3977945, 6376391, 9322498, 3177593, 10103627, 5883136, 79111, 6486935, 1465948, 401193, 2723360, 8432484, 9705441, 2586407, 2905112, 8829331, 6276016, 3603903, 75531, 6093298, 6267147, 9587245, 7239933, 6007195, 5837304, 10154142, 7454109, 81739, 5064277, 4411593, 431795, 6093308, 9584437, 9205057, 7175141, 5830322, 467649, 4086521, 9848792, 7223489, 5838460, 23019, 8567935, 2030026, 7929023, 46107, 3298475, 2240430, 8599899, 461134, 2373236, 8306404, 124460, 2433698, 34241, 7393692, 71273, 2634848, 2190227, 2028067, 9085560, 52679, 1659734, 4819604, 8865606, 5978664, 4388112, 2704677, 3732434, 5903859, 7057084, 4718776, 373150, 2336585, 6712862, 6077235, 3934734, 3414068, 9902, 746148, 7899785, 6281948, 4718777, 1924630, 8851811, 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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies	I believe it's a way for anyone about to make uncalled for advances, to test out your reaction. I had a guy grab my ass on the train and when I screamed "don't touch me" everyone stared and he slunk away. But those type count on the people to embarrassed or to nice to make a scene. So make a scene, screw what strangers think someone is touching you inappropriately.	8,522,016	[ 53, 63, 13, 59, 55, 28 ]	230	[ 936128, 3037811, 7756973, 8765590, 5060526, 4903134, 503122, 2586102, 8236880, 9033349, 948149, 8298442, 2651105, 6312560, 42138, 7867664, 5316113, 6896520, 7498172, 10014355, 9513907, 2039597, 4714168, 9986631, 6954920, 5153364, 5266213, 1509668, 8561341, 9335721, 5423179, 7056684, 6006062, 2471689, 10183647, 9173575, 8112884, 4455044, 5457285, 9911920, 6576601, 8417344, 1960889, 9628483, 5413751, 1482143, 2099830, 493626, 5131243, 5915274, 9256352, 1192085, 3351708, 3225155, 7395768, 1117238, 5817523, 5980113, 719658, 8665359, 7052658, 3525389, 6959062, 1578249, 9977971, 6154348, 9404898, 4547520, 4368440, 2685897, 4175182, 8712656, 1033219, 7542903, 9777368, 9651319, 4892499, 2753853, 3731868, 2314680, 9316323, 8325674, 237495, 6106001, 7953403, 3884572, 4702682, 5529747, 675241, 7628513, 8531926, 7523618, 6578717, 5559694, 2360155, 7763613, 8351485, 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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies	Was about to say all of this. Why was he so focused on his ex anyway after that time should have been questioned. But once you break up, if, he will do all this to you also. I'd definitely tell her to get a restraining order. Also it's extremely childish his friend is causing her problems. Even if true it wasn't his concern and definitely shouldn't have been brought into the work place. If she gets a restraining order, after she should bring it to her boss and tell him the abuse his friend is now doing needs to be addressed. What a childish mess all cause of your bf!	8,522,017	[ 60 ]	21	[ 6332116, 7289389, 1819562, 5892610, 67779, 3339036, 1463656, 2227707, 1466883, 782847, 4838768, 2458611, 6059145, 4497564, 41698, 1358043, 9497628, 4682125, 4809320, 885479, 8705672, 5114109, 4609806, 6069165, 8872624, 1978447, 6687864, 6300190, 9243814, 9742124, 7508734, 7465855, 24611, 3403622, 8666334, 2646056, 9350584, 5200198, 8103945, 5402206, 6732983, 1343945, 6404684, 4093345, 7422592, 479086, 6869529, 7139980, 7269042, 9522432, 54809, 4809324, 2994578, 723353, 3137445, 10114744, 60448, 7018408, 1266778, 7729832, 10005986, 3664467, 6898637, 8705674, 3853879, 8541839, 7099893, 2945912, 9425909, 735678, 488898, 6103333, 759064, 26389, 3107072, 9621234, 2033838, 7589339, 5909531, 2657919, 4149012, 7990402, 9456110, 3098538, 7814722, 7229493, 4066870, 6649306, 4223035, 6803343, 4144972, 3893171, 7992081, 6608693, 7182635, 481720, 4367902, 3339010, 6058872, 1249058, 2650670, 2947412, 3833360, 8277987, 3296131, 54638, 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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies	I'm not getting the other responses personally. Even if she is friends with him, why would you want to be he betrayed your trust, why her family would want him there I find bizarre! I don't blame you at all and personally I wouldn't go (but that could cause all kinds of problems!), but for me personally I'm of the mind why would I go to something I know will be a miserable time? I really don't understand what's going on here though. Does her family want her back with him? Did they want her to overlook the cheating? Was she on the fence of leaving him? Personally I'd also be questioning if her thinking is so skewed from my own what else will she find acceptable in the future I won't? Maybe you two just aren't compatible? Edit to add - if I was her I personally would never want to make my bf uncomfortable especially for a guy I wasn't with and hurt me in the past.	8,522,018	null	123	null
reddit_dump_Duckyjammies	Your bf is a jerk to be blunt. "I don't want anyone to know my business" I read as he is worried someone will recognize you. He needs to get over it, he shouldn't have asked that if he couldn't handle it, or break up. He doesn't sound embarrassed but ashamed which should make you ask 'why is he staying', if he truly loves you then he shouldn't be hung up on your past. You deserve better than him, your past is the past. He shouldn't be hiding your relationship. You are his partner, not a secret.	8,522,019	null	21	null
reddit_dump_Duckyjammies	I think her outlook is skewed because her parents views are! If that was my daughter I wouldn't want him in my house. I'm not really sure how you can resolve this though. You either go and just deal, but the fact they view this as normal is strange and what else will he be invited to? Don't go and possibly cause an issue with your gf, and she doesn't seem to get it either way. I saw you ditched a friend (unless for a good reason don't do that!) and she has jealousy issues so she's assuming your issue with this guy is jealousy I think. What's truly strange is an ex is an ex for a reason and really has no place in your life once split unless you have children together. - have you said that to her? Told her it has nothing to do with jealousy but there is no reason for a guy you dated a year ago and cheated on you, to be invited? I can't help but feel her parents are trying to push her back with him. Try flipping it "would you be okay with me inviting my exes to events?"	8,522,020	null	123	null
reddit_dump_Duckyjammies	Your mothers family is childish as can be! So she was going to cut you out and leave you with that as your lady memory after never even discussing it with you? Few things, you are their child not an adult in their past relationship. It is not your job to take sides. As your mother and adult she should know that. While he did your mother wrong he is your father and his actions had nothing to do with you. Would she rather you visit your father as a kid and have a hostile, horrible time every weekend?! If I was in your mothers situation I would be happy my child wasn't having a difficult time, as parents splitting up affects them too. The fact your father is leaving you an inheritance shouldn't have anything to do with the childish crap she is pulling. This isn't hs, I can see wanting you to understand his betrayal caused and his actions were wrong, but not expecting you to 'pick sides'. He is also your parent. It seems she sees in black and white, unless you totally cut him off you are not loyal to her which is not how life works. The fact her parents are also doing this and encourage it, is bizarre. I would as her child rethink my position. As she ages and needs help, I would let my sisters help her. If she comments tell her loyalty works both ways, I love you but the fact you have such out there views I feel more comfortable keeping my distance. Their attitudes are truly bizarre, sorry OP.	8,522,021	null	150	null
reddit_dump_Duckyjammies	You truly sound upset she isn't spending money on you. "I'd like to take us out", paraphrasing here but you can but you said you can't afford it. So no you want her to take you out. She is frugal, has a plan and is happy. You want her to waste money on a bigger place, meals etc when she is happy with how things are. Once again you can claim all you want that you don't want her to spend money on you but that's how it's reading. She sounds very smart and has her act together. Not sure if you are upset she isn't spending more on you or intimidated but she's doing things correctly. A large chunk of the country sank because they live outside their means with mortgages they never should have had. Flip side your gf is living in her means and saving and it upsets you.	8,522,022	null	123	null
reddit_dump_Duckyjammies	Sounds horrible but did he say that for dramatic effect or to get attention? I personally look at it if you can lie over trivial things, what important things are you lying about? Same with a lie of omission. I'd tell him I know you lied, why did you do it and keep it up. But I personally would be questioning everything he said because he had ten YEARS to say oh btw while I worked in NYC I didn't actually live there.	8,522,023	[ 61, 15, 28, 25, 60, 64 ]	43	[ 172273, 6952988, 25570, 4641546, 3309038, 614978, 2521050, 4073336, 3659343, 1837358, 962013, 8335866, 9818254, 1586085, 3374084, 1857777, 3153352, 313219, 372709, 583829, 7956697, 5671131, 1837153, 9981857, 2227791, 8850986, 7924935, 9488153, 802235, 9568927, 3821633, 5842277, 5263585, 7394778, 2205537, 8434267, 8703365, 2584804, 3628937, 3884532, 4170671, 9826073, 1414243, 1271951, 8945473, 1527956, 3915213, 2902806, 9145618, 7992605, 9365501, 2967081, 8404202, 9171933, 9470385, 3066124, 2895354, 8430500, 6855265, 9365499, 3203459, 7770068, 2857177, 2534148, 10027995, 2111308, 5390070, 2345670, 481516, 7204849, 3138457, 4700134, 4435539, 4328817, 7770197, 5695764, 9488107, 481724, 8516990, 8823644, 6451972, 2467629, 2561016, 1829951, 1202887, 652317, 1837062, 6782248, 6392048, 684190, 7467414, 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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies	So what if he does want her? 'She broke up with him'. She keeps him there like I keep my ex on mine, (my husband when dating sounded like you), he was a part of her life and the memories are there but the feelings are not. I was with my ex three years, he was a part of my life so I'm fb friends with him. Doesn't mean anything to me now just memories. " the fact he's her ex who dated her for two years that bugs me" - Even if he wasn't on her list he was a part of her life and you can't erase that.	8,522,024	[ 28, 60 ]	123	[ 9754139, 39762, 8515128, 24055, 5269319, 3347768, 8705731, 14695, 9754189, 3405218, 43906, 9781593, 44262, 26753, 9084958, 7213093, 6764489, 6994823, 7728433, 10063096, 3047952, 4617700, 6529088, 3795416, 56003, 3523846, 5305794, 6347250, 7746202, 5805408, 9503069, 6271386, 8793119, 397308, 7422721, 9965590, 3566719, 6050484, 3238927, 823027, 5221650, 1478116, 81086, 7515394, 1498200, 7117249, 5603949, 2898290, 6176884, 7515316, 5523183, 58449, 6286510, 9825059, 990710, 1861748, 7298954, 5421158, 64901, 26156, 2659992, 5713326, 3651077, 15640, 52963, 81938, 6382989, 3914989, 8738807, 81131, 5604126, 10036411, 562604, 4400418, 8485861, 61525, 24048, 9955424, 3272270, 5003657, 3491763, 5054639, 5184045, 56947, 3529230, 5183960, 20252, 7422625, 70750, 62263, 8848171, 7831018, 7604859, 5936456, 10097758, 38465, 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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies	Your friends sound disgusting and seem to base their decisions on "status". Tell them since they are dating "real" doctors they can afford the vet bill. They belittled him and now because they are cheap, want a favor. I would not try to get them this favor personally, they are rude and disrespectful. Btw he sounds like he has it together, smart not introducing his kids to women until he is sure and comfortable.	8,522,025	null	32	null
reddit_dump_Duckyjammies	Your bf should be putting a stop to all of it instead of sitting there like a dummy. The fact he won't even do that with his sister is a huge red flag and this will be a constant issue in your telationship. He needs to set boundaries and tell them you are his gf and he expects them to be respectful, but I really don't see that happening. Do you really want to be with someone who won't fight for you? Also you were working, not doing your hair! God forbid the princess wait for you to finish your shift/job. That alone would have pissed me off. I'd seriously be backing out now.	8,522,026	[ 62 ]	21	[ 6461497, 6230100, 4109351, 9762643, 6420639, 5192439, 4477544, 5573660, 8517074, 7258619, 661828, 5181626, 2161413, 9885673, 274482, 1978705, 3386001, 413513, 7222563, 10145369, 9284927, 759064, 240434, 9179549, 6733418, 6111002, 6964358, 9442204, 2903943, 7326136, 6062392, 4686255, 481467, 7770044, 8236868, 2854108, 9478072, 6177248, 7910504, 6095408, 4208716, 5119901, 930019, 9134319, 5583215, 3937036, 9587883, 5347107, 8121350, 8291282, 6197079, 1842874, 4038476, 8971933, 8123344, 738588, 5675065, 7508740, 4251850, 4019050, 8442824, 1978341, 4309929, 7180691, 7490178, 2996486, 4019048, 7854602, 5730047, 1403984, 4872040, 7323773, 7593448, 7454990, 1924582, 8874557, 212823, 237500, 52922, 2458611, 7907984, 8349482, 2458856, 7085973, 4297327, 2417229, 7333740, 9121345, 9955861, 3264273, 2956738, 1823125, 1744804, 3491941, 2520143, 1010609, 770478, 9766182, 4532063, 7008682, 2087175, 7715831, 6312517, 9621279, 808656, 3671670, 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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies	While he does sound like he treats you more as a roommate, a lot want that constant honeymoon phase and it is unrealistic. Talk to him about what you want and are not happy about, warn him that if it doesn't change than this is not the relationship for you. You do not need him to cheat to leave. It sounds like you think that will take guilt off of you for leaving but be an adult. You aren't happy you can leave. No one has to cheat for that to happen.	8,522,027	[ 61, 31, 60 ]	21	[ 4299679, 848150, 4113276, 4519548, 9364767, 2156793, 3711016, 5417913, 10196710, 3369620, 8472559, 5789011, 1364729, 4529998, 8744645, 4105897, 2946484, 6153784, 8986642, 6123613, 2387560, 2384604, 7177218, 6086584, 5550848, 8897955, 6307681, 5060568, 3261070, 2932606, 172282, 6531911, 9588044, 993961, 3107062, 3710895, 8236919, 5743166, 8736046, 4867985, 8595438, 3710953, 9765616, 7531901, 3283617, 478958, 5690239, 3710814, 5910602, 8981722, 6260524, 5684637, 292475, 2300517, 3710949, 5383881, 2854154, 5181689, 3095604, 10201572, 9726304, 9203207, 2668910, 8774446, 3710911, 5583281, 10145444, 2947380, 6082416, 6227391, 394725, 770504, 7085996, 6058879, 5471991, 4209393, 2354965, 5237321, 4210107, 9720670, 5802911, 9964400, 5408848, 2049117, 3711131, 1655490, 9500062, 5909277, 2810961, 4423726, 3264179, 3031180, 8989338, 8880589, 5709399, 3366985, 3711352, 5678125, 8902598, 9833990, 7484385, 9456772, 9833989, 317871, 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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies	Effexor is the devil. I was put on it to see if it would help my fibro and it made me worse in so many ways! Is he tapering off? How long has he been on it? Do NOT give him those meds it makes the withdrawal worse! Mine had me twitching and up walking circles when I made the dumb mistake of trying zzzquil. There isn't a led for him to take to help withdrawal, he will have side effects regardless but he might have had a more spanned tapering plan depending on his dose and how long he was on it. I hardly slept while getting off that horrible med, and sadly a big part is just time.	8,522,028	[ 41, 61, 31, 60 ]	84	[ 8017351, 2395524, 6048549, 1458000, 1522856, 2521271, 3603957, 9500479, 9250091, 10141049, 4053711, 482507, 2519970, 2520664, 6432395, 3299287, 1069252, 9978062, 2243355, 7134179, 8795833, 2520006, 2573259, 1530392, 9264487, 9264505, 4950478, 2401405, 8718499, 6446096, 8312294, 1260941, 3210787, 296287, 5620523, 3519043, 9350621, 7747778, 4580541, 5374162, 3299302, 10079427, 2520485, 6978486, 8810229, 7695151, 4622614, 7054865, 9198567, 6551218, 5470669, 3603281, 2522114, 2568422, 7422696, 3350160, 2148105, 2471852, 7137966, 1017618, 6220225, 6096352, 6353037, 9082394, 4071238, 1630630, 3331655, 2520811, 3519029, 1542316, 2762960, 3028151, 3671475, 5098831, 1750320, 4539563, 2160684, 1370886, 1157647, 7104355, 7117209, 61954, 5664029, 2521035, 2522115, 6353027, 7735616, 8724778, 9360653, 9480314, 8828055, 9968000, 9375097, 8711880, 5116808, 2959097, 1370830, 8353718, 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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies	Your relationship isn't healthy sounding at all. Also saying I love you 20 times a day sounds needy, also not healthy. It seems you are supportive of her but not the other way around, you are just there to serve her needs. I wouldn't limit myself by making decisions based on her neediness. Be faithful, communicate but proceed with your life in a healthy way. If it's a huge issue, yes she'd miss you but it's 12 weeks not 12 years, and tried to manipulate/guilt etc you at least get a glimpse of what the future holds. She needs her own life outside of your relationship.	8,522,029	null	123	null
reddit_dump_Duckyjammies	Pancreatic cancer is a horrible thing to watch destroy someone. My aunt died of it and she was literally a skeletal shell by the end. It usually isn't found until stage four and the patient usually dies in a matter of months. Frankly your post is very narcissistic and not everything is about you. He is losing his mother, I'm betting he has only had a few months to deal with this, and even though she is still here she is probably drugged up and no longer herself so he has already lost her to a degree. He will also have her death to grieve and a new way of life to deal with, he is having an extremely hard time and it will take a long time for him to adjust. He seems better off because you don't sound to be able to look outside yourself and give him the support he needs. He was honest with you that he is having a rough time and your thinking about yourself. Kind of telling. I lost my brother two years ago suddenly, I'm STILL dealing with ups and downs and my husband knows it has nothing to do with him and tries to help. What I'm saying with that is, this will not be a "oh his mom died he's sad but ok in a week type of thing", there is a long road of emotions ahead. If you can't deal with that for him it's best you not add more grief while he's already dealing with so much.	8,522,030	[ 41 ]	21	[ 79180, 8730588, 7788196, 203688, 8937822, 3944551, 5909158, 5262919, 3386259, 2227868, 1026948, 8807945, 19295, 668651, 8636516, 4798789, 324984, 7052416, 6230096, 7700253, 24320, 1026957, 5482991, 8705705, 22308, 9466537, 42609, 4789739, 28127, 5496146, 7700251, 8666340, 8243332, 76181, 9965523, 66744, 9452039, 6312617, 6940008, 41955, 2248379, 7116849, 1190662, 15461, 9121609, 280203, 5404229, 7014169, 2798077, 53243, 765850, 41301, 4053653, 8542948, 4962780, 7422499, 779291, 9715805, 8424575, 7109998, 21778, 6048359, 4216455, 70776, 8157160, 4245274, 4038253, 2898498, 78417, 81552, 192479, 56703, 4423717, 1719085, 76654, 79142, 9587463, 8421354, 1536114, 6416079, 1752886, 19665, 9621109, 2214927, 5511769, 5979187, 81062, 986246, 3726465, 7273079, 2689092, 5759522, 10179618, 617452, 81210, 7539359, 8183434, 73975, 1069941, 44684, 7117249, 982213, 19551, 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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies	So how I see it: 1- was committed to you. 2- got to where his ex lived but didn't want to cheat and to avoid guilt he asks if you can have an open relationship, so if the spark with the ex isn't there he still has you as back up. 3- sleeps with ex and no spark! 4- wants to be monogamous again now that he isn't with ex. 5- a friend tells you this, not him. Why exactly are you in love with a liar that makes you a back up? Ick, run!	8,522,031	[ 28, 60, 61 ]	21	[ 2282808, 2904017, 3915195, 63802, 3085516, 673097, 7358643, 10036324, 1236270, 982051, 9610438, 7604885, 10179666, 197844, 19073, 4000537, 6655427, 3753016, 1842876, 10179788, 802612, 9601713, 81315, 8192575, 10036332, 3809609, 6689404, 6558087, 7831007, 4315144, 9801836, 2886864, 3711026, 993953, 7830104, 6571078, 26484, 4015319, 3884774, 9097295, 78970, 81938, 7341619, 9663126, 823027, 9587892, 7834201, 10016011, 9442277, 4370639, 10060120, 68399, 6121075, 1652412, 1508903, 1001427, 10179716, 1317732, 4116894, 6340150, 7101457, 1218571, 183801, 5343385, 118357, 2889923, 2442967, 5381334, 2458483, 3477151, 6086584, 5059263, 2300303, 8656347, 479012, 7663329, 9502484, 5046498, 9711066, 5739821, 70805, 8201868, 1937614, 3860406, 2079352, 29354, 6641428, 3364156, 6608685, 1690745, 1297179, 1236226, 3308312, 4716607, 4105997, 2759703, 4385250, 884817, 8744644, 7058525, 23544, 5814949, 6073389, 5605019, 1667504, 70115, 50618, 2333353, 7227184, 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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies	Panic attacks are horrible, I have them too. Just remember usually it's crap we make up in our heads that aren't logical (easier said than done.) I'm not trying to be harsh I'm trying to prepare you I guess is the word, he will be distracted or sad for a while. It sucks because there's nothing anyone can do. I needed space too, people respond to grief too. As weird as it sounds I didn't want anyone around while I dealt with his death because it always just us (as kids) and I didn't wanna share him now in death as weird as that sounds. Everyone deals differently. Try to remember he isn't withdrawing from YOU but from life in all aspects most likely. It's a big adjustment, do you have a close friend you can talk to when YOU panic so as not to cause more issues with your bf?	8,522,032	null	199	null
reddit_dump_Duckyjammies	All you can do is tell him you are there for him. Where is his mother in her cancer? Is she aware or has she hit the point they are keeping her drugged up? Does he have siblings? Where's his dad? It IS a hard slope for you in the sense you don't want him to think you don't care but you don't want to smother. When I was in the crappy place my best friend and SO (weren't living together at time) would test me daily with "let me know if you need anything just checking up" maybe tell him you will text every few days and if he feels like talking or needs to he can, otherwise just an acknowledgement that he is hanging in there as best he can? How close was he to his mom? It is easier if you lived with him, leave food by him even if he doesn't eat it it's a sign of caring. Doing his laundry etc because every day, mundane chores get ignored at a point.	8,522,033	[ 60, 61 ]	21	[ 59824, 8526907, 19620, 9138487, 9912012, 70108, 8807945, 8636868, 7167671, 46751, 2652346, 52144, 2678554, 1688974, 8715020, 4268690, 6927508, 3012512, 6404746, 1465363, 2516878, 45984, 8434392, 461212, 7052416, 3789359, 2233900, 7755482, 74107, 1029273, 1277261, 9807724, 7144848, 1090772, 6499433, 6312617, 8032251, 9179549, 5496146, 9403943, 2646056, 7598867, 2107223, 7085999, 481281, 41301, 7041684, 6067680, 3640219, 6216507, 73758, 6605716, 4418429, 9101289, 3902078, 2386070, 55988, 3920035, 26575, 59540, 4060711, 7213112, 481718, 1735502, 79782, 53123, 7865147, 4623088, 9621234, 7711299, 8624298, 23015, 7757540, 479602, 5619239, 9187123, 2630555, 7116993, 5619303, 2197443, 8344011, 39618, 6911487, 7229493, 56947, 7031151, 57676, 7116653, 1719085, 413775, 62494, 2400114, 8935420, 1466883, 9494776, 23175, 66415, 9258860, 5184016, 1886364, 8968468, 3787648, 9663296, 66078, 54296, 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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies	I am both an artist and photographer, this is really close to the "selling out" line of thinking some people have. I, unless commissioned with freedom, make my personal work more creative than that which is stock or commissioned. Everything is technically fine but I take more risks with my personal art unless requested. Book covers for example. Before so many graphic artists started creating book covers as side income I made a series of illustrations for two authors. One was very specific on what they wanted but in my style, the other told me to 'have fun'. You know what sells, keep it up but also be creative an experiment for you. All of this was one reason I regretted going to art school too, all the technically seemed to stifle my creativity because before I never was so technical etc. my skills grew but I think something got reigned in also. (Not really explaining this right! Lol) Either way it doesn't have to be an either/or. Once done with new photos of what sells, get playing!	8,522,034	[ 28, 17, 29, 10, 25, 41, 16, 37, 20 ]	238	[ 998897, 3730143, 1530475, 99663, 2766655, 800018, 5933883, 6602670, 2766634, 3036160, 1966281, 2766628, 2766621, 17292, 2766649, 5661058, 3455019, 6330248, 10092121, 3643668, 2099442, 1297107, 2531205, 3662032, 9889788, 1006992, 7514801, 8328191, 2737905, 8657186, 51439, 8328022, 318632, 4234175, 6308580, 906941, 7646177, 7573846, 3708086, 8518760, 7336954, 9638612, 1966286, 2692482, 7372471, 9200125, 106896, 2727799, 9899043, 538907, 6402938, 268528, 1530396, 9851648, 8867439, 446782, 7320154, 8939600, 5094480, 5398695, 15847, 5555466, 658847, 16020, 977538, 3588805, 68342, 2233971, 21733, 9648355, 10212208, 9489788, 8164670, 5768319, 7302117, 5660535, 6208349, 8467453, 4153525, 9760485, 2766619, 1869716, 417740, 5455426, 2883543, 4365280, 4044243, 7781453, 1582362, 8890858, 2249880, 6096079, 1165959, 6282154, 5648593, 899984, 1006392, 46179, 5610474, 683416, 56623, 2442917, 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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies	I wish everyone had this mentality. I look younger than I am and think it contributes to this, but I get snubbed by the older birders when out in locations where we all end up meeting up. A few of the birders who were not apparently raised by wolves have commented they are like that to a lot of 'young' people. It's rude and made me self conscious to be out there. A few other 'young' birders I have met while out have also stated it. BTW when I say young I don't mean teens, I mean 30's!	8,522,035	[ 37, 42, 17, 28, 56, 25, 58, 53, 18, 48, 49, 52 ]	218	[ 9865830, 8513924, 1667217, 96082, 9865850, 6955056, 4105981, 5127608, 6783680, 2430430, 6268726, 700128, 283741, 7802238, 6744466, 6648956, 1301485, 3550060, 8761249, 10073922, 3490066, 5847174, 5489388, 9898389, 1925893, 7524445, 2720316, 3442468, 8384826, 7616472, 6767739, 5504462, 4911596, 9865844, 412195, 3168232, 4240577, 10122751, 373113, 2877706, 467646, 9768497, 732090, 6322338, 3407288, 902249, 2176734, 4580661, 2077889, 5409004, 8411080, 2520782, 10041125, 3028135, 1972882, 7086105, 2990038, 8911491, 7672333, 213860, 8369209, 9847653, 460136, 7930370, 8531361, 8774273, 6230815, 4124910, 1520252, 2736615, 3471025, 7858725, 459080, 10033887, 1969345, 9123949, 8033816, 9913808, 4903802, 9173590, 3842772, 3535821, 8351485, 6761947, 5603941, 9512665, 2341119, 4589344, 4760784, 6258160, 3496918, 2111970, 10031169, 3154821, 321164, 4485524, 2482944, 9434469, 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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies	Nope, just me. I've been snubbed on someone helping me out but then they get all flustered when they realize I know where some things are. Example a woman was talking about a northern harrier, I asked if she could point me in the right direction and the attitude she gave me and refusal reminded me of a kindergarten kid told to share their snack. Another woman, obviously her friend, walked up and was pleasant to me asking if I saw the northern harrier and I said no and made a face at her friend. The nice woman then said I also hear there's a short earred owl around, I said yes I have been photographing it for a half hour. Suddenly the cranky old bat wanted to share info, I ignored her and told her nice friend I'm all about sharing info I find it childish otherwise, however the attitude and look of disgust your friend gave me when I asked to not even be told exact spot but general direction for the northern harrier made me decide not to share. Maybe she will wake up that being rude doesn't pay off. The woman straight up said she agreed with me and her friend was like that to some others! Was it childish of me, yes and I felt bad for the nice lady, however I am so sick of that rude dismissive attitude and only being nice to you for what they can get. I know a lot of photographer birders don't want to share due to wanting "the shot", which is also childish but you are suppose to be adults! These are people my parents age!! I'll share my info with anyone as long as you aren't a jerk, and since I'm frozen out (it's happened on fb groups and other young birders every month of do will make same complaint) but help others of a certain age, I have to do a lot of work to find them since I'm on my own and no one to give a helping hand. (Side note I love all birds but raptors, owls my main focus right now, are my main birds I'm seeking. Also would love to see a kestrel that isn't zipping by my head before I truly get a look!) Edit to add, wow that was long! I promise I'd share info if I wasn't meg with petty rudeness lol though it may not seem it.	8,522,036	[ 28, 37, 52, 53, 48, 63, 58, 13, 56, 17 ]	218	[ 18063, 46110, 82007, 57341, 60448, 7685258, 6758970, 56564, 6941759, 71494, 7130479, 3857509, 20810, 1965094, 46842, 68355, 36211, 5600913, 34810, 78131, 33600, 1158950, 7422904, 25842, 68882, 4282921, 2254569, 42228, 34697, 24893, 70070, 7116976, 4957175, 19510, 2265366, 56699, 5383949, 68069, 8489733, 4433277, 41637, 9328211, 4246871, 10087084, 9621120, 76868, 26839, 7994960, 9062221, 68087, 7422585, 5147015, 76602, 30159, 7117223, 29954, 9957798, 46775, 50654, 42864, 60814, 6398148, 24352, 3307943, 35765, 52627, 6388787, 44871, 69591, 7344719, 7310586, 16832, 8315554, 72264, 39926, 7315884, 6845416, 7213086, 36322, 48992, 913758, 4600639, 35816, 38534, 26144, 28933, 3190033, 35955, 556092, 8442109, 40920, 35230, 57699, 1300719, 33275, 21364, 55475, 40252, 481718, 535471, 29583, 68976, 317839, 1367247, 9621138, 2561754, 4456863, 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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies	I've been entering abandoned asylums/homes etc for over sixteen years now and I see it differently. This was two blocks away from his home, if he was exploring this place he most likely would have before its right there. (I traveled out of state often for asylums especially but before my state, Massachusetts, turned most into condos or ripped them down one was two towns over and I went there often) if it's basically in your 'backyard' you go often is my point, I doubt he would have gone to that extreme to get into a shack. Also if he DID why alone? Rarely do people go alone, especially a shack of a house. If he went in there I don't see why unless he wasn't alone and they were meeting up to get high or drunk etc, it sounds like a dumpy shack that he most likely been through before. Very well could have been an accident, and if that <PERSON> person was with him and as crazy as he sounds, <PERSON> could have got stuck climbing in and crazy took off leaving him. That's what it seems to me, what's terrifying is how long did it take him to die and if what I just said is true did he think his friend was getting help or coming back?	8,521,981	[ 9, 19, 13, 36, 28, 51, 40 ]	118	[ 2751840, 8932096, 1249039, 4834865, 24120, 8504734, 63254, 3640219, 4586665, 46850, 15816, 7823919, 65617, 9295866, 36932, 5809275, 8371858, 6172520, 4926402, 3681588, 55811, 8342241, 3273628, 888498, 2530163, 1965411, 22004, 2558141, 71078, 48803, 33130, 45395, 8631072, 7752748, 5372148, 3834465, 10127269, 8032251, 19100, 6235046, 9671771, 64963, 2759725, 1186467, 8704487, 6154504, 65775, 9119357, 81277, 46876, 565500, 8257917, 54470, 6975474, 5523413, 9991468, 47931, 7422649, 9110454, 78471, 38513, 3942982, 9444148, 6059022, 1646339, 6239572, 21548, 15978, 3119362, 5132128, 9291238, 33907, 7614492, 9228830, 7189876, 158012, 52162, 5976801, 25927, 850488, 70645, 2188902, 8711919, 5887650, 3812506, 2463104, 2197443, 9121627, 49315, 744681, 3164614, 61160, 7672058, 70921, 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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies	It sucks, I've been through the suddenly being responsible for someone else's child (I love him but when you suddenly have a teenager and it wasn't your way of life before it can get resentful/stressful) and health/accident wise. You sound very strong willed to not fall in the pattern your parents did addiction wise it sounds like once the hard decision on your brothers is made you might lessen your drinking. You are young (younger than me and I found it frazzling) to suddenly be in the mom roll to kids that age, do what you need to for YOUR life. 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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies	Doesn't matter what the object is, she's just inviting herself to your items and that needs to be addressed. This isn't even she took her bfs socks but his roommates? That's a lack of boundaries. I'd tell her it is not okay to just help herself to our items, clothing and beauty products. If she can't respect that than some kind of roommate agreement would be needed about over night guests. Honestly that's just weird how quick she became overly comfortable in your home. Are you guys friends and hang out or is she just a roommates gf?	8,521,983	[ 48 ]	123	[ 5656591, 1364723, 5070247, 6058872, 7576698, 8236946, 7124161, 1898036, 8831665, 3179004, 59560, 5163931, 7867645, 10044070, 10087081, 4809297, 7667203, 4129201, 8735937, 2322391, 5921797, 19255, 8200166, 2327517, 4967618, 5418659, 8679830, 6066816, 8549225, 5174565, 8046552, 36996, 5569059, 5573693, 7936989, 440693, 779438, 15328, 1765508, 6120663, 38360, 2541889, 5290429, 5547027, 6687224, 5071101, 5279834, 6175004, 9678436, 8104184, 19873, 5581903, 5343287, 3334191, 6274241, 10025312, 2125939, 4113260, 2354730, 8705709, 4963381, 15672, 7814462, 2979889, 8083563, 4648118, 6929431, 1085489, 7814723, 8193327, 4944624, 3491751, 4268601, 2821027, 85157, 9041868, 5471935, 892581, 8703412, 6436340, 8966501, 3491981, 7338606, 414510, 35104, 51418, 9663277, 7587208, 8434176, 8237004, 6883391, 276071, 9596137, 1104153, 7770214, 9885075, 8628102, 765764, 3491809, 6454924, 2836285, 7684264, 1897979, 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reddit_dump_laurenellemartin	First few weeks all walks were just sniff sessions. He would spend a good 5 minutes on 1 plant sniffing every part of every leaf. Once he had discovered the world a bit we took him to training sessions, we use ‘this way’ a lot. He is a super puller so the MOMENT the leash tightens, we change direction. Getting to the meadow can take triple the time, but consistency is key. If he really pulls we make him sit, then redirect where we are going. <PERSON> said that when you’re walking somewhere, the dog knows it’s going forward so naturally pulls that way to get to the destination. So to include lots of direction changes, randomly stop and sit down. YOU might find it unusual to sit in the middle of a path, but your dog should not. Randomly stopping, direction changes etc should all be second nature. Take it slow, and have fun! :)	9,812,512	null	239	null
reddit_dump_laurenellemartin	Our vet said to us that while he grows, basically just let him eat whatever he wants. Once his growing starts to settle and he starts to stock out, then start to portion it out. We have always fed our boy more than the recommended amount and he is the perfect weight as he is super active. You know your dog, and if he starts to get a bit chunky, you know to cut it back a bit.	9,812,513	null	239	null
reddit_dump_laurenellemartin	It’s so sad when your dog just wants to play! We have the same issue! He is such a happy boy and wants to interact with EVERY dog. When he was younger and we were training and a dog approached, or the owner didnt want interaction, we would literally walk in the opposite direction. I would keep a firm grip on the lead and walk with purpose away from the other dog, my dog might look back but would quickly followed me. Immediate removal from the situation worked when he was younger, but the best fix was working regimentally on his ‘stay’. From a puppy I taught ‘stay’ at home daily. Once he started being able to handle outdoor training properly and I would spot a dog in the distance, into position we would get! Lead gets shortened, dog in between my legs and ‘sit’ and ‘stay’. ‘Stay’ would be repeated multiple times as the dog approached, and a few times if he looked ready to move from position I’d wave my hand once in front of his nose whilst repeating ‘stay’ to remind him of his command. Once the dog had passed I’d walk him the opposite way whilst praising heavily (verbal and treats). He’s 7 months and has a very solid stay. Can leave anything in front of him and leave the room and he’ll hang on until his command.	9,812,514	null	35	null
reddit_dump_laurenellemartin	My boy is almost 8 months, I actually posted a normal daily routine in here this evening but I’ll try to be brief and add timings! 08.15 - Wake up and let out of crate. Immediate pee in the garden and some energetic good morning cuddles for 10 mins/ half hour. 09.45 - Chews a bone and generally mooches around whilst partner gets ready for walk. 10.00 - Big walk for 45 mins/ 1 hour. 11.00 - Breakfast and nap time. 13.00 - Pee time in the garden or a short run in the field in front of the house for 10 mins. Followed by some play time (tug of war, training session etc) 14.00 - Entertains self with chews/ toys/ naps at my feet in the office. 17.00 - Pee time and playtime! Tug of war, training, crazy running around the house - whatever! 18.00 - 20 minute walk round the block 18.30 - Pull all the bedding from the crate and hump every single inch of it / pee in the garden / repeat for a while 20.00 - wind down, cuddle mum and start to snooze. (Around 23.30 fiancé comes home so game of tug and another pee then into the crate)	9,812,515	null	45	null
reddit_dump_laurenellemartin	Ignore it and act totally normal. My fiancé noticed that whenever our boy experienced a new sound he would look at me immediately to see if I was worried or was about to comfort him, which would feed into his narrative of ‘scary sound’. If he’s worried about something I keep a cheery tone and encourage playtime! Big loud noises aren’t scary, here’s a game of TUG! Distract distract!	9,812,516	null	45	null
reddit_dump_laurenellemartin	Just like our boy, he was scared for a long while of the car. 3 things helped us: 1) We transitioned slowly (and I mean SLOWLT) from my lap, to back seat, to the boot with the back seat down so he could see us, to being in the boot. 2) We put his old bedding in the boot. This made a HUGE difference. He loves it. 3) Making a conscious effort to have car rides end in FUN. We took a week off and drove places half hour away every day, a few times a day to different dog parks, the beach, anywhere we knew he would have a blast. I definitely don’t miss the crying in the car stage, we were adamant that he had car sickness, but, like every other weird puppy behaviour, it disappeared. Puppies make you feel like nothing you do will ever work, and then one day you sit there and realise ‘hey, the dog hasn’t done XXX in so long’	9,812,517	null	239	null
reddit_dump_laurenellemartin	Honestly that sounds about right, at his age he will sleep between 6-10 hours at night time (4,5,6am all put him in this bracket) and they nap a LOT during the day. As he gets a bit older he will start to naturally sleep a bit longer at nighttime instead of the spontaneous puppy ‘cat naps’. Short whines are ok to wait out until they pass. ‘Screaming’, banging against the crate etc are all signs that he’s in discomfort. He might need a pee, or he might just be awake and ready for the day. Try to ignore the 4am cries if you can and start implementing already that 5am is the earliest (their body clocks are outstanding) and 6am even better. Just stick with it, you will get there. Our 7 month has only just started hanging out in his crate without us prompting. Take it slow. (Our boy has always been 10pm ish to bed and did the same, letting him do his business and then back to bed until it was a suitable time. In my head if he had toileted, and wasn’t hungry or thirsty then he wasn’t wanting an essential need, just testing his boundaries)	9,812,507	null	239	null
reddit_dump_laurenellemartin	This was a difficult decision, but you put the puppies welfare before your want for a puppy. Thank you for not just abandoning him. You’re a responsible person, and when the time is right I’m sure you will make a great dog owner. Owning a dog is more than just wanting a pet, it takes time and commitment. You did the right thing. Well done.	9,812,508	null	6	null
reddit_dump_laurenellemartin	Our boy was a total diva with his food. We tried the food his breeder gave. Kept it dry, got it wet, mixed it with yoghurt, added chicken. Everything worked for a week or so and then complete disinterest. We moved him to boiled rice and boiled chicken breast as his main meals whilst we trialed different foods so his stomach wouldn’t suffer. Ask your local pet store for samples of the pet food, ours gave us so many even when we went back multiple times, tails between our legs, saying he didn’t like it. We are now in ‘Gentle Cold pressed kibble’ which he loves. It also doesn’t ‘bloat’ in their tummies, it disintegrates. Our vet gave us the best advice ‘if he is hungry, he will eat’. He just isn’t very food orientated, but he now eats a decent amount and it’s good quality food.	9,812,509	null	239	null
reddit_dump_laurenellemartin	LOL the puppy is definitely hearing him and wants him to come comfort him. He will grow out if it, it’s just all new sounds still... still, don’t be scared to comfort him a bit. Lots of people say ‘ignore ignore ignore’ but if I started to feel like he was crying and not just whining, I would go to him, pick him up and almost soothe him like a baby, then back in the crate. He would whine afterwards for a bit but wouldn’t cry then he’d go back to sleep. Consistent training is important, but so is ensuring you are a source of comfort to your newest addition. <PERSON> (trainer on YouTube) says that just cuddling, laying with, and comforting your puppy is just as important to build your bond, as much as training is important.	9,812,510	null	239	null
reddit_dump_laurenellemartin	Same for us. I feed and train my boy and he’s a snuggle monster. My fiancé however is seen more as his playmate so gets his feet nipped at and tug of war toys bought to him always. Snuggles and settling aren’t the only signs of affection. My boy barely cuddles my partner, but when he comes in from work the dogs butt nearly falls off due to the wagging. As for her resenting him- she may have puppy blues. My partner did because of the above reasons. ‘Do you think he likes me??’ Was a frequent question. My suggestion: if you can, have your wife take over some smaller training sessions that are easy for both and let her give high rewards (sit, lay down, paw, spin) and let her take him for at least a walk a day for a few days. When we did this after 2 weeks or so our boy started to like my fiancé a lot lot more, which resulted in fiancé liking the dog more, and then it naturally went from there!	9,812,511	null	35	null
undogooder	He is a treasure trove of touring information. Heck, I just looked at a post with a jpeg of all the stuff two people were sending home because the just didn't need it...including two ulocks! I was gonna bring a ulock, then I bought the blueprint and the only thing I felt I didn't need on the trip was a padlock and extra cable. If you're in doubt, get it. Lots of invaluable info for a little money. And if you are the type, I downloaded a torrent of it after loosing the copy I bought.	6,164,800	[ 90 ]	142	[ 1752883, 6003609, 1846744, 78562, 52333, 4991162, 40175, 2273675, 5550854, 80735, 61860, 9591917, 2099305, 76027, 1271617, 8853728, 8901327, 7726670, 35365, 81775, 2802773, 29434, 6132785, 4451375, 6557976, 69870, 7318414, 3925342, 3587776, 2136429, 9805790, 70328, 9977813, 4559994, 149005, 6572419, 2941097, 1690575, 7690070, 4956807, 62399, 5113669, 7754398, 1704133, 9228964, 9909657, 29757, 5220550, 9499234, 9452684, 7001663, 4706402, 68427, 3439737, 1137212, 27572, 2516686, 452409, 5255478, 7734516, 9332715, 2263858, 5797145, 7821069, 39584, 1781487, 2727545, 1620207, 8461307, 27547, 1198373, 9645858, 2962619, 3491609, 1915846, 4048889, 34744, 7594211, 7110384, 3004536, 1205545, 3852830, 5013867, 8191948, 5570837, 4808180, 4455229, 8785852, 5342358, 4769899, 48744, 9225230, 51958, 3881451, 76122, 645738, 515508, 9760694, 7354100, 742843, 7686663, 5601309, 8699102, 3279566, 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undogooder	I biked the southern tier a few years ago & never worried about bears. I am on the Transam right now, so that is a different story. If you want to take precautions though, yes, take rope and tie to a tree branch. There are many ways to do this and a simple google search will give you ideas of how. Always make sure it is at least 200ft. from your tent! [Here]( [URL] is one site to help. Good luck and have a blast man! Edit: Also, I kept ALL food in one pannier so I would only have to hang one pannier	6,164,801	[ 90 ]	190	[ 5841633, 795426, 7092453, 2165268, 4228698, 4789897, 9049718, 8918317, 4571608, 7382993, 7092452, 9550799, 8918312, 8152955, 4011528, 6661920, 3790599, 7872276, 4701069, 2360929, 10118327, 225741, 6482010, 9364302, 5912563, 9383550, 4691025, 4719164, 10103461, 8726814, 5759905, 7996199, 10197174, 8587851, 4969672, 5454022, 3932045, 8235033, 5482740, 2849536, 1820518, 1622647, 8367860, 3511624, 2692675, 4093384, 2197758, 2447104, 3958765, 305404, 7214079, 4708559, 805786, 9347227, 5610359, 1247123, 5953366, 90147, 6237005, 2058926, 7436642, 9864462, 4582016, 4801562, 9935665, 4992926, 4664204, 4075413, 4449568, 3336283, 8054025, 4442238, 7759028, 9709264, 5768678, 7382995, 4808916, 6477359, 1372580, 4615551, 1730325, 988722, 7434855, 9899323, 552808, 9915045, 6849686, 1372533, 1747947, 6861339, 8232263, 7940651, 7214917, 1247129, 5005307, 9191681, 5622898, 3211853, 2996744, 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undogooder	Sweet! I have a ['99 Specialized Hardrock FS]( [URL] that I got on Craigslist for $100! A hate flat bars so, first thing I did was change the bar, got some '80s style 10speed foam grips and kept the grip shifts on the drops. I'll upload a pic soon. The only thing original still left on the frame is the seat post! In total, I spent about $1200. I'll post a recent pic also. tl/dr: If you like it keep it & +1 for keeping it on the road! Frankenbike: [URL] More recent, have made changes: [URL]	6,164,802	[ 90, 83 ]	248	[ 5117197, 5534365, 5388757, 2233075, 6495351, 1382103, 2005988, 1118434, 4073205, 4164792, 7442903, 1076279, 8723971, 6643310, 2591117, 6969738, 2020767, 9951098, 8946301, 433593, 5770412, 9060013, 7793441, 5556054, 4644100, 1719913, 2460050, 2311537, 2163314, 4006599, 7930963, 6969692, 8014443, 7192923, 724829, 4348714, 1219125, 3440503, 7125369, 414791, 4693945, 2479689, 1752599, 1989067, 9650643, 7222910, 6623859, 9763734, 3885787, 4473166, 1440930, 5289940, 200638, 5475557, 10178320, 2147746, 5261254, 8827171, 825739, 4273766, 9647147, 1832338, 7513404, 3885829, 3060107, 5477845, 4229756, 6370674, 7667461, 6813948, 5028262, 4752767, 5851589, 4523002, 10016243, 3196635, 534946, 1674558, 8172254, 8245739, 6126328, 3283280, 7684988, 6660149, 2791657, 515407, 3885855, 7808741, 4684993, 1923886, 10031999, 2788328, 1830393, 6927761, 534835, 4006662, 8215024, 4226819, 6742975, 5466371, 8018194, 5841644, 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undogooder	As far as upgrading components: the bike had Altus & was lucky to find someone on Craigslist with a square taper Deore LX crank with 172.5 arms & deore front & rear derailleur amongst other parts cheap. I did up it to a 9 speed cassette. I got some ultegra bar ends & [MKS Touring pedals]( [URL] with [power grips]( [URL] The headset had seized up on me so I got a sealed bearing [Cane Creek 40]( [URL] For the comfort of touring, I put a stem with a 35° rise on it. [Here]( [URL] is a photo I just took. Any questions, ask away friend!	6,164,803	[ 90, 83 ]	248	[ 7189614, 9022825, 1988160, 9935659, 6098026, 8125583, 755643, 10180891, 1988150, 5509019, 2947993, 6492012, 660913, 8880080, 10201287, 6831895, 8098931, 4867010, 7264746, 3842266, 2386185, 3540876, 7967053, 6394831, 8689158, 8883157, 5955434, 2040071, 8647816, 9418747, 8385835, 6775606, 3623435, 3589118, 7740721, 4976894, 3097970, 9935665, 229073, 6811432, 5919149, 10103947, 1168647, 4209870, 7846985, 6492014, 8098897, 1702917, 9196975, 9950482, 3097943, 5955428, 9154340, 6003067, 4618970, 3722843, 2284717, 6492009, 8293372, 1757857, 7308242, 2770958, 6098053, 331019, 10047036, 184493, 4737289, 3310670, 3930278, 5417789, 7967042, 4327148, 9022833, 309835, 2352418, 3238083, 510875, 3790632, 2779297, 4925090, 1403076, 8720542, 6466167, 7109860, 9614726, 2272472, 2420920, 8025227, 3540872, 6831889, 3225201, 3866193, 4904612, 7181359, 10208744, 4388619, 2284732, 5747120, 258364, 1629731, 3351228, 1746499, 381336, 9331199, 309790, 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undogooder	I have a [Botrager Backrack Deluxe]( [URL] & was the best rack for the price imo. I won't even comment on my front rack/s (2 separate pieces) cuz it sucks & need to replace it. I LOVE my [Brooks Flyer Pre-aged]( [URL] The pre-aged has a lot less "break in" time and needs no proofide for a long time, if ever. The springs are very strong and act as a suspension, but you won't be bouncing up & down on it. I use the bike as a commuter and on tours ride an average of 30-60 miles a day. As for the crank arms, they fit me good. I have about a 30.5"-31" inseam. Lil legs also. Cane Creek makes sealed threaded headsets also!	6,164,804	[ 90, 83 ]	248	[ 7189624, 6098112, 9935659, 529856, 4049323, 7796462, 9590445, 3885854, 2124490, 7354149, 8689158, 1927168, 2793434, 3885731, 2448756, 6484591, 4569488, 10055949, 8880080, 5128569, 9599186, 6807872, 7012902, 3085988, 4053957, 9439534, 8883157, 811646, 3885875, 2768371, 2448714, 10062833, 5661931, 212292, 7013000, 510875, 8269991, 6154874, 8220479, 6811432, 1718772, 9935667, 9726377, 7012906, 811653, 6980776, 2736306, 4082957, 273231, 6130134, 768163, 4961913, 5918931, 10056082, 10078596, 1921062, 6068475, 5509020, 7759023, 10180891, 3577354, 8798443, 9957999, 811638, 3790638, 3885651, 857274, 755628, 3032557, 3885745, 8256758, 527754, 5365087, 1735340, 8739621, 3477369, 8273013, 1809205, 7362186, 349144, 3454777, 3092148, 2798963, 2947916, 4423167, 1628896, 297892, 237337, 5365056, 10108841, 9661411, 9218560, 1750719, 704688, 5047428, 3885750, 8770698, 1406841, 2715417, 3577317, 1321749, 7677065, 3241639, 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undogooder	As a Clydesdale over 300lbs/21 stone, you don't need front suspension. It's just more added weight. There are lots of question that come into play as far as comfort goes, seeing as you will be in the saddle for hours on end. A comfy saddle is one of the most important things. Do you like drop bars or straight? Go to your lbs and test ride different bikes. Something more upright will keep you from having back pain and the sort. Steel frames will absorb more bumps that aluminum. Research the shit out of bikes.	6,164,805	[ 90, 83 ]	248	[ 8939241, 3629760, 811600, 9251564, 1737136, 2903408, 6986112, 7312752, 1737115, 1503812, 9260874, 9394134, 660924, 5020313, 768224, 6565421, 7109760, 5508941, 3921182, 9104913, 5020302, 10201298, 8214130, 6441083, 4695434, 8727329, 534947, 2903409, 3177619, 8385534, 5508940, 5319909, 4677324, 811654, 9325634, 5020187, 7629637, 5020148, 4076173, 5508945, 811589, 3885655, 6474097, 6027766, 5701846, 830718, 911987, 5770748, 9498472, 5155067, 5622549, 5839142, 329298, 9098727, 8493732, 2001539, 6909726, 5622431, 5305591, 7499430, 5289489, 6666033, 830735, 5365290, 7874228, 6110748, 2397665, 5885074, 8027972, 7772237, 227111, 4264662, 5130120, 3592588, 3592597, 7499416, 2068789, 1635088, 8143494, 6225724, 5155084, 534897, 7471599, 368011, 5763027, 7822855, 6579050, 4473192, 4388619, 3319707, 981016, 2673192, 8098918, 6225676, 7593020, 766279, 830740, 5352236, 5365314, 2563646, 10129217, 6662457, 711724, 5155124, 9394155, 4021599, 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undogooder	Good for you! I hope many read this & something "clicks". Life is what you make of it & while a lot of people have a death grip on their "security blanket" I think many are taking steps to find themselves & their true place in life. I myself have done two bike tours, purposefully going until broke just to humble & build myself up again. Imo, it is a very spiritual experience & helps you think in a whole new way. Just like the quote says; it's the how, not the what. Take care & and experience many new things!	6,164,806	[ 90 ]	217	[ 4674856, 6359697, 609756, 8116212, 2802872, 5241634, 4691809, 4670473, 609861, 1073833, 5241622, 8277931, 9256979, 7827509, 1948749, 3310679, 5817340, 1604592, 7827545, 3557526, 6683958, 9060965, 2953972, 2305511, 2143328, 8561520, 6902820, 5634800, 8561421, 2073209, 9060990, 6902796, 1753422, 6447790, 9843928, 9070950, 3481783, 4215533, 3557516, 5532151, 10038464, 5601834, 6913873, 7803760, 3803690, 4215505, 748491, 7653540, 6323947, 9950495, 4053877, 3020332, 7803816, 9943327, 2229075, 5103638, 9133206, 1700155, 1360541, 9060897, 4228306, 7928491, 7827347, 683334, 4053658, 3399952, 2229022, 7803843, 748486, 748495, 9060924, 8404863, 5466482, 7271106, 7235449, 4670494, 9325122, 3819470, 9145829, 258364, 4053820, 7803606, 8096747, 1753326, 6140467, 3481744, 8561519, 5574407, 4626470, 5623604, 1927165, 4327831, 1081598, 3430592, 5601806, 204945, 7827485, 3481771, 7639940, 4053902, 6382847, 1380333, 7827348, 4203481, 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undogooder	I have [this]( [URL] and have looked up & memorized how to filter water from nearby rivers in military survive guides. Always check for any contamination upstream from you. Hell, one time I was out of water & finally came across the first house I had seen in over ten miles & nothing in the direction I was going. Knocked on the door; nobody home. I was so desperate, I filtered some water from their pool. 4/10: could taste the chlorine but didn't die. Wouldn't recommend. Tl;dr: get a filtration system.	6,164,807	[ 90, 80, 81, 89, 79, 78, 88 ]	232	[ 2297382, 8048159, 5202415, 2297422, 7243048, 6895303, 782346, 10146770, 8712727, 6967853, 604032, 742634, 9555989, 873687, 7020083, 7551142, 2282555, 1380931, 2297414, 2787111, 4000815, 9549499, 2952180, 3021193, 2767041, 2467892, 9875908, 6302702, 9218536, 2997701, 7846956, 6382795, 2615311, 7240690, 3071007, 4211390, 8945645, 9786960, 3082719, 6839962, 3210570, 3132335, 1854658, 6729603, 4563418, 6412682, 5103640, 5634786, 6903620, 9437681, 1515385, 2767156, 2939466, 1926949, 7716264, 7817141, 4875846, 5825091, 2767155, 8861016, 1384383, 1209242, 1290877, 4375962, 9499396, 7827380, 1832395, 3501371, 5913717, 4599902, 2596481, 3036141, 8477931, 1267471, 8154126, 8898904, 5128556, 4411520, 6382847, 8503637, 8599483, 8519658, 7506056, 551047, 120042, 2767152, 2767138, 4876164, 5598411, 9375433, 8561501, 3779797, 2365625, 2199573, 7551143, 587093, 3461821, 2695531, 9424022, 9960596, 7905531, 8527196, 65801, 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undogooder	I would like to put my two cents in. I was on a 1/2 cross country bicycle tour from WI to CA. I spent 5 days here & was hooked! I came from a city of 70,000 & I get the same feeling here as far as size. I come from middle class/low income so I connect with poor better than rich. I have been homeless buy CHOICE, just to see what people have to go thru. I work at a loaf n jug for the moment because I needed a quick job & customer service is where I have the most exp. Now, this is a profession that allows you to see people for who they truly are! You meet the shit stains & the genuine folks. I have met SOOOO many good hearted people here in contrast. I have only been here since the end of July & know about the Mexican Cartel, the corrupt LE, the drugs & violence. Way more here than where I come from. But, you know what? This is still a better place imo. Even though WI is a dem state, there were so many rich fucks that thought they could shit rose smelling gold bricks & you were nothing but a puddle to be avoided. I will ALWAYS relate more to a homeless man/woman than a person that has had everything handed to them! Life IS what you make of it. Is your shit in the toilet, or in your hand? If it's in your hand, we didn't put it there...	6,164,808	[ 90 ]	73	[ 4228306, 4818773, 8485643, 748495, 1629663, 5634775, 2504339, 1753449, 6141080, 7147583, 8561519, 3650697, 5103640, 895472, 6359697, 2229050, 9577978, 8116212, 5414052, 683376, 4670491, 6557606, 6867881, 2802850, 5287631, 5241609, 2247673, 2489676, 7243066, 7803733, 5614416, 1636952, 2305511, 748486, 6382847, 4053839, 5469858, 7827374, 7803680, 863913, 7803774, 4523874, 3259393, 3917852, 7456512, 1381693, 4305509, 3385186, 3266987, 4324612, 8561419, 3732443, 9422531, 3481783, 4327831, 7948003, 5895160, 4341924, 8457789, 9295613, 7147584, 7947998, 9693223, 6262193, 643374, 6781997, 1317325, 5634759, 5598385, 7948019, 748491, 4260459, 8685848, 5634748, 8277931, 3988529, 7928491, 1326925, 9060990, 7881759, 5241548, 8424386, 8278177, 8527196, 605265, 5241617, 5004082, 1305868, 3557521, 3238112, 3399952, 4316689, 1072307, 4829455, 5254097, 1496323, 4215510, 5598203, 3305536, 5768699, 5241634, 5768755, 937261, 2626582, 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undogooder	I get ya bro. Unfortunately everyone is so comfortable, that if the shit hit the fan they would be fucked; and you should be too. So, to try and appeal to the domestic beast: I am a sporadic person and sometimes, on my days off, I like to get on my bike and go for an adventure. I am also a procrastinator. If I have a bag already packed, I don't have to worry about saying, fuck it half way through packing and giving up. Also, the end in nigh bitches!	6,164,809	null	250	null
undogooder	I always have a cable lock. At night I run it through my bike and around a tent pole. That way even if someone cuts the cable it will shake the tent & alert me. No lock is safe, just a deterrent. When I stop anywhere, I ask if I can bring the bike in. 9/10 times they are glad to help. You are a paying customer. The lock is mostly for over night & a necessity. What's another couple pounds? TL;DR: Worth it's weight in gold.	6,164,810	[ 90 ]	248	[ 2880881, 5290488, 5930684, 4483294, 5318997, 9444549, 10055943, 4016180, 2783149, 6264056, 5009947, 5155100, 5135812, 6322967, 2880893, 7198437, 385988, 438651, 9444556, 5646989, 3885731, 5102130, 9097327, 8620552, 5605432, 2582352, 386087, 6590374, 6422584, 4074278, 2004117, 386053, 8142508, 8686190, 7554676, 5186453, 3632705, 7744911, 9181067, 6061829, 10201307, 9215308, 3979738, 7362184, 5365056, 9997871, 9097362, 10157240, 5763040, 4569481, 9420070, 294350, 1221, 9174072, 8139188, 2459055, 5317906, 10180908, 979110, 1676983, 1776629, 768245, 8493085, 5048378, 8990933, 3885884, 4695486, 1785274, 8904141, 9495164, 1755148, 7146955, 305388, 5454008, 6249433, 54689, 9271000, 9172748, 4067121, 4254850, 1648063, 2276202, 3130500, 2727691, 7395805, 9097388, 9836253, 3518217, 5524477, 6701944, 8417398, 7194220, 9800082, 9023481, 9418701, 4140374, 6785728, 1320566, 7137198, 990099, 3022455, 8918327, 4412969, 768131, 6032378, 4412996, 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undogooder	I rode on it from Topeka KS to Pueblo CO starting back in June. I stayed at the LBS in Newton KS(highly recommended) just as the Trans Am racers were coming through. They HIGHLY advised against riding on hwy 96, saying there was barely any safe shoulder, fast drivers & constant semi traffic along with too few stops along the stretch between Newton & Pueblo. I took the advice & rode hwy 50 all the way. Staying at a church(info should be on the maps) in Hutchinson KS, I met two tourists & told them about said advice. I took a rest day & they headed out. As I was leaving, they were coming back to the church, one on crutches. They took 96 & one was hit by a car. Not a broken bone in his body, but damn. TL;DR: Take hwy 50 as opposed to hwy 96 for the stretch between Newton KS & Pueblo CO.	6,164,811	[ 90 ]	248	[ 7948001, 7013031, 9353198, 4209858, 3557515, 8588002, 4209857, 7907051, 5356438, 7396459, 5657923, 7948025, 2796999, 6620372, 609768, 6821834, 5241708, 5504594, 2900574, 6783431, 2547808, 3103204, 3391585, 4215478, 7509459, 8370007, 2229020, 1558410, 1083969, 4438446, 9966114, 4053957, 5448977, 2178568, 5103640, 2220185, 2229061, 9130552, 2414527, 9325098, 3877315, 5504575, 4053658, 6323955, 9831872, 5047572, 3391583, 3618526, 7803881, 7948016, 3020332, 5504558, 1267470, 2403943, 3542496, 9570337, 2853963, 2183607, 9759556, 8023253, 6323951, 7803674, 9060971, 7227819, 4501091, 8855011, 6831904, 6526048, 9325120, 7803733, 587093, 2815874, 3612791, 7496278, 1295704, 127515, 5469366, 6656396, 609834, 7827337, 1558397, 6851423, 3310697, 1267369, 5241572, 3623434, 8342419, 6525999, 8532836, 3020323, 742355, 4978851, 8831017, 1265382, 6262193, 8561441, 7827460, 5241617, 5823289, 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undogooder	No riser here. The LHT fork I bought had 380mm of length on it, so no need. My buddy bought a stem riser for his back problems & is very happy with it! You also have a great point about sitting more upright relating to awareness of your surroundings. I love being able to sit almost fully upright to get a better vantage point. Definitely get one. I think you'll be happy! Sausage finger edit Edit #2: clarification	6,164,812	[ 83 ]	248	[ 8788868, 8670242, 1180896, 9288634, 6068510, 6176623, 5622525, 4516852, 5771150, 1904201, 1060997, 2842762, 9573539, 793168, 7293355, 6176717, 4388629, 1669127, 6176724, 2386196, 679058, 8949616, 6176625, 3625150, 900109, 8670240, 9157603, 8677698, 6707072, 7492452, 1644601, 4516855, 7906996, 177649, 3304933, 9863394, 3114154, 4285246, 6176691, 4714896, 8218158, 9309143, 4858424, 7513892, 6099254, 6580674, 190645, 7895464, 3309829, 5365375, 9593593, 856493, 5889526, 6236059, 9108880, 2930576, 6447655, 6410029, 1216219, 6563544, 9360232, 7823849, 9573347, 8718099, 7314305, 6672078, 4964649, 9593611, 1703577, 4865293, 7181505, 7499419, 587519, 3213990, 1307779, 4576832, 4434190, 2117792, 1162354, 6527592, 7593020, 8396782, 4567846, 3826064, 4814328, 6769427, 8564833, 5001202, 7810847, 7141398, 8157563, 4608159, 8578205, 2002674, 2936943, 6245745, 6396523, 8826760, 3587073, 4731554, 7710339, 2822583, 1315810, 8206994, 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undogooder	My first road bike was a [2011]([URL] Defy 1! She was beautiful. Iirc, that was the first year of trickle down tech from Ultegra/Dura Ace & the first year 105 break cables were routed under the grip tape. [This]([URL] is the only pic I still have of her. Being 250lbs. I was surprised how well the radial spokes & overall lack of spokes held up under weight. GREAT starter road bike hands down!	6,164,813	[ 83 ]	248	[ 6881651, 6155811, 6201288, 5622482, 3231353, 7626030, 7189614, 5841648, 4006585, 199769, 7189623, 4266880, 2008449, 8918315, 4006602, 8125583, 9244438, 6155809, 3358968, 1224818, 6100748, 10201268, 4446530, 2681237, 9935659, 6155127, 3360910, 1250938, 5622425, 4980628, 3465731, 368045, 527776, 4357586, 9935667, 7403514, 7345854, 179036, 1191041, 3791621, 2925294, 6303349, 9788858, 5365099, 3461369, 4550292, 6785730, 1529341, 9244358, 8052129, 9196139, 6565421, 5894174, 7354216, 846410, 1713577, 6789101, 9342579, 7943696, 8946093, 1335383, 314108, 6130180, 1460751, 2676921, 5293648, 5155092, 227111, 6270956, 7588327, 4318234, 7183053, 3194402, 6535899, 527736, 3829424, 256322, 3139055, 4670782, 4006656, 7345855, 3861659, 133913, 846490, 971660, 4051850, 7354109, 1702960, 4709268, 2917212, 4178418, 9648720, 10180891, 199791, 2981397, 3885667, 4274215, 8933271, 9929959, 7007496, 5552997, 6225691, 7859974, 8767793, 4695451, 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undogooder	When I was in high school(mid 90's), I had this happen to me while playing hacky sack. Freaked me the fuck out! I also popped back into place by straightening my leg, not knowing what else to do. After that, I could no longer sit "Indian Style" and had to switch legs in order to keep playing hacky sack. Fast forward 20 years and my knee crunches when I go up stairs. TL;DR: How pathetic; I injured myself playing hacky sack.	6,164,814	[ 80, 76, 81, 84, 83, 78, 79, 87, 86, 77, 82 ]	47	[ 1414345, 1398756, 9385630, 3714364, 7955216, 3307942, 521375, 3714382, 4476553, 10019713, 2406131, 1224930, 5974677, 6087069, 6332685, 621817, 7946438, 9036743, 2742524, 3227809, 7781842, 580060, 4737455, 9228814, 4755029, 9071826, 7433450, 9437440, 4242438, 2668823, 2858876, 10201883, 3504399, 3168953, 979010, 7332414, 7637474, 2606798, 2807290, 838338, 5222309, 6440773, 1584746, 10070687, 7134023, 5142142, 7823231, 7264806, 3539233, 1359091, 5705836, 2932913, 2512120, 3870266, 5024556, 6816816, 6201856, 2954065, 1815896, 1658489, 1832974, 9232750, 8493857, 7843538, 4966306, 8817070, 9616489, 666073, 9955102, 8541761, 8420914, 5474240, 3204879, 8304554, 9505314, 4397136, 7743401, 9812261, 3116952, 6192602, 1960308, 1255894, 9970501, 8542376, 8373608, 4467531, 2547961, 8167578, 4662285, 4386415, 12619, 7091642, 7795581, 3304061, 2571857, 5598000, 8506994, 4949702, 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miatatony	This is a great series to watch to learn about the general process, there are others on the sidebar such as <PERSON> videos that will have more technical information about gun setup. [URL] If I were you though, I would sell the car, or just drive it as is. It just isn't worth the effort, and if you try to repaint it to get more resale value, you very first time painting probably won't be perfect so it might hurt resale value. Unless you plan to keep it for a long time, it just isn't worth the trouble. Even if you just fix the problem areas now, the rest of the car will most likely start to have clearcoat failure.	3,523,456	[ 138 ]	54	[ 499429, 6604453, 6025914, 8434475, 8515835, 8299216, 7965651, 7037029, 9094956, 719438, 6991202, 1549726, 3082075, 8245903, 5533784, 8443592, 7720838, 3170146, 9281537, 2745240, 5195179, 5408778, 9496159, 7109078, 4521424, 1871450, 7251951, 3179226, 1613948, 3136593, 6455539, 916420, 116174, 2639580, 7257971, 9626823, 1633965, 6785789, 5391105, 4587706, 2207765, 4867937, 3175267, 4371185, 4155088, 5065204, 179088, 412609, 4027372, 1955022, 5299839, 4944892, 4255308, 8934751, 3082003, 2466157, 3345931, 2930670, 8822049, 3295, 7052790, 4795516, 10034720, 970360, 8921657, 8346849, 3839959, 66268, 1898418, 5976490, 8707863, 7257989, 5791265, 8686650, 1833405, 340374, 380080, 5487008, 8041592, 2857230, 2549173, 810890, 8922562, 5168499, 2252677, 3272537, 5928190, 8764799, 2445381, 4266086, 1041218, 7432807, 5924329, 3153753, 10017824, 4641197, 6991158, 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miatatony	I would probably do isolation exercises like chest flys, tricep pulldowns, bicep curls, basically all the smaller muscles that don't get burned out from compound movements in SS. If strength is your only goal then you would probably just be better off only doing SS really heavy and hard 3x a week, but if aesthetics is also a goal, then focusing on specific muscles makes a huge difference, like biceps, triceps, chest, etc.	3,523,457	[ 146, 109, 133, 136, 132, 116, 131, 129, 134, 147, 135, 110, 126, 119, 97, 101, 115, 108, 94, 141, 123, 127, 107, 122, 138, 143, 140, 100 ]	195	[ 5741670, 4976766, 3850356, 2107884, 2445329, 2042308, 5165904, 7151328, 3658072, 3694214, 6296452, 1964993, 9920047, 9019017, 2559162, 7615301, 7229187, 1077542, 9055336, 4398748, 9085578, 2978524, 1962528, 1773970, 2815123, 2900506, 5889884, 9864990, 2559163, 6730567, 3424926, 4775397, 2265882, 3921090, 5341112, 2888688, 2119365, 1806164, 6425252, 2240467, 190410, 1091323, 4989772, 9062518, 7847760, 7578990, 3046890, 5908405, 3543026, 8374240, 5399688, 1631496, 3982923, 6561437, 3415847, 6616387, 5341145, 2575036, 734125, 1089480, 4202442, 1960740, 5502217, 10040599, 3844007, 5828925, 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miatatony	I recently got an Xbox controller for my PC and I found it way too slippery since I have sweaty hands. I masked off the controller and sprayed about 3-4 wet coats of plastidip. At first it felt really tacky and almost sticky, but after playing with it for an hour or so it feels absolutely perfect now. It's way cheaper and easier than most options out there like after market rubber grips or silicone sleeves, plus it's reversible by just peeling it off.	3,523,458	[ 123, 147, 111, 138, 115 ]	140	[ 6102513, 2324080, 3419598, 7127543, 3660836, 2764991, 6450064, 2833021, 7991610, 1262251, 9648071, 6806665, 2720663, 2227988, 2003503, 7669121, 5021314, 4829202, 4477435, 377190, 1701463, 3012264, 3702934, 5360816, 3922618, 3584798, 1742029, 8660015, 6812870, 6893459, 7432032, 2128994, 5966179, 163934, 1392440, 5657671, 4369471, 5548664, 1551802, 4805189, 2151568, 5423926, 3700697, 9722703, 6972465, 2479903, 4928150, 7644248, 2002972, 9744744, 635572, 1036114, 344410, 3757692, 6208617, 3245619, 9701104, 5680145, 1907568, 5086553, 5726716, 7554086, 9518050, 6238483, 2224750, 2275583, 7848395, 4585671, 2298511, 6390877, 1043985, 234988, 3234385, 1319429, 4510294, 149859, 6941843, 8499840, 1605778, 6884456, 7736859, 5674457, 839593, 2645530, 253556, 6063055, 8025605, 2151612, 3824651, 97445, 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miatatony	it's actually pretty hard to pick off accidentally. I've used it for about a week now and no signed of any edges peeling or lifting. When I purposely peeled the bottom section off I had to really pick at it to create an edge, and even then it takes a decent amount of force to pull on it, sort of like peeling very strong adhesive tape(but without any residue). Of course it would be much better if you just dissassemble the controller and paint the entire panel, but I didn't want to buy the special screw driver for that.	3,523,459	[ 147, 111, 123, 125, 138, 132, 104, 105, 140, 145, 92, 115, 146, 122, 141, 117, 99, 102, 112, 109, 131 ]	253	[ 4836936, 4836891, 2123801, 9765290, 3777661, 7197210, 5961273, 470406, 8510345, 5462594, 417682, 1347703, 305359, 1764610, 3326773, 570044, 5129464, 9384751, 8711285, 4700102, 2161305, 6453737, 6909263, 5792993, 3421909, 4644248, 9121584, 6409184, 8785979, 9449973, 7668851, 4356915, 3542152, 1185398, 4421703, 4331231, 3235608, 9473043, 3345606, 986304, 7666885, 9360232, 4535199, 1348306, 1726163, 417673, 4421242, 2824603, 135183, 1035293, 1180074, 1985694, 5993838, 5580387, 3887617, 1511354, 7465054, 10093210, 1652367, 2343041, 756913, 8460133, 10097903, 7965521, 6479577, 3746654, 3282956, 7052657, 2478746, 8821109, 5571779, 3576118, 8558221, 9072706, 8038487, 779429, 7843527, 2543506, 1494929, 6087808, 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miatatony	Definitely try a stronger compound, like Meguiars M105 compound, because the Ultimate compound is fairly mild especially for wet sanding marks. Also based on your pictures, there are still a ton of high spots, I would say spend more time sanding methodically and evenly and going finer than 2000 grit. Spend even more time with the finer 2500 or even 3000 grit wet sanding, that will dramatically reduce how much you have to compound afterwards.	3,523,460	[ 115, 129, 119, 132, 122, 109, 127, 101, 125 ]	253	[ 8623168, 10073139, 3794644, 10182763, 6680280, 4473146, 3007342, 3794732, 8305738, 3007339, 2202856, 287841, 6259272, 5092299, 2295452, 2514309, 4039003, 8623172, 6323483, 116292, 9173548, 2768394, 3061425, 1856477, 8085980, 8809112, 1186428, 366441, 915492, 6809397, 1654794, 3343522, 8039922, 9173599, 4473145, 6388253, 6926134, 6113574, 5741022, 9036009, 6113686, 9680543, 3007352, 4504046, 9646074, 915549, 2202890, 1794368, 5582766, 5964463, 6729406, 2263473, 2263470, 267332, 8486506, 6579963, 8210467, 2612087, 2735459, 8683391, 9473061, 595478, 420442, 9900073, 9452480, 9606812, 6239227, 255421, 4619905, 2289604, 5092300, 493502, 6777686, 6252575, 10073140, 4195792, 1524142, 8543439, 3658497, 2859894, 1546930, 1286227, 9562981, 6992410, 8486550, 5964469, 3794679, 4199787, 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miatatony	If you use collinite 845 properly (google or wiki it), it is VERY easy to apply, even more so that the over the counter products like meguiars which are inherently made to be user friendly. Not only will it bead up water better than nufinish and last longer, it will add a ridiculous slickness to the paint. ~$20 available online, harder to find in stores depending on where you live. Absolutely worth the money, its a better value than meguiars or nufinish.	3,523,461	[ 138, 133, 117, 147, 116, 129, 115, 99, 109 ]	253	[ 3625507, 288462, 997354, 9955508, 7700520, 9810010, 493464, 9955222, 971030, 10118643, 8400557, 8356138, 4532210, 8413923, 3428181, 8318376, 259744, 2542644, 8335294, 4724558, 3928038, 6731312, 2465817, 6543537, 1594543, 8746238, 9456229, 4601480, 6691935, 7912549, 4346200, 5471959, 5651823, 6160150, 9836356, 4496707, 630955, 2489570, 2202859, 2194291, 4502824, 6428761, 151045, 1672763, 3172895, 1265647, 7687763, 6340067, 7039162, 613753, 3500946, 3940882, 442427, 9955191, 9955464, 906976, 8735631, 5203342, 9436718, 5672461, 8900614, 4471879, 5709198, 7295653, 810890, 9852366, 4415159, 538049, 8411406, 8072985, 7555051, 4619912, 4463114, 5299839, 2920335, 6189817, 9972870, 1722015, 6731311, 1140330, 4711705, 4012428, 2181890, 4445916, 133684, 7270989, 6940481, 1883711, 2113402, 9634643, 2138346, 1532642, 898001, 9367241, 3045258, 4910245, 5327900, 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miatatony	I just powerwashed and took about 4-5 seconds off my boot to fully load reddit time. I don't know exactly when it started but recently when I enter my password the screen would just go black for about 5-6 seconds, then open into the desktop. After powerwash it's back to normal and immediately goes into the desktop with no weird black screen. It was my first time powerwashing and holy crap, I'm amazed that it only took about 40 seconds to powerwash.	3,523,462	[ 125, 123, 104, 111, 112, 145, 105, 128, 121, 119, 114, 129, 138, 92, 106, 140, 118, 126, 108, 147, 127, 136, 99, 133, 107, 115, 132, 113 ]	119	[ 6604836, 4805118, 8242677, 8184184, 670568, 990325, 9012254, 3280901, 2143905, 4840839, 7768228, 4164808, 2748791, 1486866, 9088345, 5665849, 4164807, 1202112, 1056938, 6954320, 2627488, 4505300, 8600185, 793351, 7831292, 4117851, 7480765, 9144738, 8677752, 3894202, 2118588, 831243, 1906016, 8900769, 8439133, 8989950, 670504, 1201509, 4044544, 9657120, 4952607, 5061966, 9467439, 9581599, 7557597, 6599431, 2268511, 9448777, 6636384, 6903819, 377246, 1883549, 1776055, 1446298, 4043305, 10014698, 96502, 5706309, 2318498, 4625100, 1390509, 3502255, 1378370, 7689465, 4625101, 4969015, 6982469, 4091738, 1894797, 8820064, 4495193, 1825690, 8851151, 7965638, 843491, 5237776, 5193548, 6674790, 3641103, 96503, 8099540, 5347150, 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miatatony	I'm actually researching my own first build right now and mine looks almost exactly the same as yours, same cpu/mobo/case/psu, but with 240gb sandisk SSD from amazon for $70. I've been using the SSD on my current computer and i would say it is totally worth it, especially the 240gb since it's enough to have a few of your most used games, I can cold boot into steam and be matchmaking in rocket league in about a minute. The 128gb fills up really fast, and if you get the same $70 price right now where you are on amazon it's only a little bit more money for a lot more ssd storage.	3,523,463	[ 133, 146, 109, 135, 134 ]	53	[ 5620148, 3398684, 6659502, 471426, 2194279, 6252081, 761968, 8661961, 3371902, 5405995, 3928651, 6252064, 4001329, 6245881, 3824707, 4800892, 5093500, 9872352, 9734503, 9759974, 8630744, 5629230, 5234645, 1535094, 761956, 1099515, 1904131, 1049104, 7213487, 1463974, 2218293, 1939861, 129321, 2156557, 3025680, 8051154, 6145960, 3309224, 645886, 4400082, 9310353, 1547989, 4178625, 6752915, 3529702, 1356348, 2676248, 3489521, 7140303, 8021108, 576949, 4861816, 3616100, 6299632, 2007445, 8453812, 10151832, 2422458, 1801451, 2314060, 7748399, 680662, 8857702, 5016738, 1118929, 4048057, 7334976, 975771, 2494652, 4652487, 1356342, 8376430, 991255, 4370296, 8927296, 4185674, 557430, 8199284, 7823178, 648603, 1168850, 7912654, 6275405, 2178051, 6252060, 9745938, 5795740, 3701119, 6970179, 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miatatony	My philosophy is it's all about the carb/side dish, a tasty side dish will keep you from getting sick of it when cooking in bulk. I love mashed potatoes cuz they taste good, they're easy to make in bulk, and are pretty cheap. Any mashed potato recipe u find online will do. For protein, I always get sick of it anyways, so lately I don't bother getting fancy. Plus I'm a shit cook so I do what's fastest and easiest to cook, which is just sliced chicken breast cooked in a pan with oil/salt/pepper, and then just add BBQ sauce or Ranch and hotsauce on it afterwards in the tuppaware. Careful not to overcook the chicken.	3,523,464	[ 133, 123, 134, 146, 116, 131, 110, 135, 109, 136, 119, 125, 132, 128, 108, 111, 140, 97, 126, 112, 101, 129, 117, 145, 94, 105, 96, 139, 127, 120, 122 ]	221	[ 8568533, 7169738, 4528655, 1714599, 660905, 5696280, 9514213, 8785046, 309051, 8313345, 6071465, 6855567, 2243367, 848769, 9074441, 9951382, 9017750, 2266173, 3871804, 4807803, 8376610, 7177468, 4866178, 8711431, 10150454, 4794724, 5396666, 8246370, 325576, 4348962, 6833076, 3179866, 9386162, 7604612, 3551829, 3550654, 3550639, 4348951, 569772, 4783965, 8153342, 6343288, 3305675, 9207658, 831837, 842324, 10046124, 8588971, 9990248, 871982, 2412745, 7877622, 8410577, 5195943, 5976322, 426673, 9312504, 2029882, 9117610, 405842, 9978063, 5453577, 1827959, 8453327, 1626603, 7762992, 1558609, 423446, 9410649, 1374140, 9075320, 2763149, 1903977, 9669891, 2222597, 9138138, 1558638, 5256496, 2516667, 9524374, 7579226, 8255807, 359118, 8207285, 1558787, 9777459, 5850413, 2323262, 8778655, 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Varicious

I'd say elementalist. With their four elements that's basically 4 builds, but I'm sure there's plenty more. Plus, they can easily farm and aren't assassins. (I don't like playing sins at all.) I know they can nuke in SCs and do odd ends stuff like bonding for UW clearing. My personal choice would be Dervish, as that's what I rerolled after monking for years on end. Dervs can VoS in so many clears its ridiculous, and they are fun in terms of PvE vanqing etc, offering many good Elites to build around.

5,370,161

[ 3, 2, 8, 6, 5 ]

201

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Varicious

I can't post any at the moment, as far as Ele goes it depends where you're at, and what the monsters are weak to. I don't know Paragons well but if a hero can run Imba well then I'd use that. Sorry for the lack of info. Also, main the class and do character specific titles on one you enjoy, regardless of what it can do. Each class is good at something, but out of the characters you have I'd say main the Assassin or Ele. I mained a Monk and it became dry after I 100%d <PERSON> so I rerolled a Dervish. It's the most fun I've had yet!

5,370,162

[ 8, 3, 5, 2 ]

201

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54300, 10058539, 2395362, 9428860, 5669458, 2216702, 8174085, 5588090, 8856291, 1908501, 6554419, 5343158, 9694045, 2757404, 2158731, 1876925, 9771697, 454710 ]

Varicious

Welcome to /r/Nofap I am a newcomer myself; and wow I now realize so much. I'm troubled because although accepting this challenge at a short two days ago, i wokeup today with a bad erection and invited a girl over tonight. I am currently conflicted with this idea Best of luck to you my friend. It's a long, slow battle; but it's a path well taken to a better future

5,370,163

[ 0, 1 ]

17

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Varicious

I smoke buds way more, and find it harder to stop. I have smoked since 13, picking on everyday around 15. I'm now 19. I began pmoing around 11, rather young. pretty much everyday since, and consistently throughout my 3 year relationship (15-18). I didn't see my pmo as a problem, usually once a day, until PIED occurred. Even then I didn't know the cause. A year after being single now, I stumbled upon this subreddit. I've been attempting to make positive changes in my life: diet, exercise, etc. I have been on 4 years of smoking everyday. I don't see myself quitting, although I did stumble upon r/leaves . I'm on day 2 of NoFap and I love the idea and purpose so I think it won't be as hard. TL;DR substance ;pmo yes it's 'just weed' lalala but I think I've grown a strong mental addiction, especially since starting during puberty stages.

5,370,164

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17

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2688121, 1920183, 3718518, 8502151, 6009203, 5087416, 3308764, 10060118, 6923020, 6698703, 9180230, 6186622 ]

Varicious

There are plenty of benefits to Nofap. My favorites are the reset on your natural manstincts. You'll notice you actually want to go out and meet and talk to people, and that alone is really nice. some smaller mentions are less acne, way more energy, and self-control that'll make you feel proud. Its tough nonetheless. I've never chronically done it, but pretty much every/other day for for last 9 years, and I'm 19 now. I did experience PIED with my ex several times, and it was embarrassing and I didn't know why it happened. No ones here to force or control you. This is one of those self building practices that will make you feel a lot more positive about life. I'm only on 3 days here, but I feel the energy building up - and man is it great.

5,370,165

null

17

null

Varicious

That's awesome dude! I also wanna ride the waves of NoFap I really feel for you though, I find myself running into beautiful woman, and they're readily smiling at me. I'm a tall guy(6'2), but don't have the personality of 'a tall guy,' & have pretty intimidating facial features. (beard and pretty big eyebrows, 99% stoic.) Something about that makes me feel really conscious and I always end up pissed off at myself because I feel I can't show my true self. It's odd, but I can understand in the way you get aggravated when you messup an encounter. Best of luck on your journey. it's pride-filled and an awesome refreshment of life,

5,370,166

[ 0, 1 ]

17

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Varicious

This happened to me two years ago, and again years before that. pmo gave me PIED during most of my relationship of three years (15-18). I have been depressed and starting to touch into serious dopamine outlets; whether through *o,*, drugs, or pills. I realize I have to take a step back and have dropped dropped them all. I am just smoking buds, but in much noticeably smaller amounts in my day by day routine. If you need an accountability partner, shoot me a pm and we can set something up. Welcome pal!

5,370,167

[ 0 ]

17

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Varicious

Hey bro you all good? Its a good thing you realized that nothing good comes from smoking and took action. Onto your girl issue, I completely relate. You stated that having a thing for someone suppresses and distracts the urge. I met somebody who is turned off by cigs, but is the most amazing beautiful person I've met, so I hastily cut off smoking after a pack a day for 5 years. I'm entering my 5th day tomorrow and omg. Its an adventure, but I also know that it's for me, no one else. If this girl leaves I won't say I'm too stressed or upset and smoke again. This is for my freedom. From a less serious perspective, just go for it man! Bump into her after class and introduce yourself, maybe give reason to why you noticed her. If she's into you, go ahead and ask if you could hangout outside of class! Boom! Feel free to PM me, everyone could use a support buddy!

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Varicious

I used this method. I haven't smoked in 45 days as of today. I've been at a steady two tins a week since. Oftentimes I'll tease myself with a drag of an unlit, just to say no and walk away a champ. Although I didn't beat nicotine fully, I made a step toward a healthier life style. and honestly, I don't want a smoke ever again. Objectively it's a much more viable option for nicotine consumption - which we all know is a bitch to kick. Just do you man and keep them pearly whites clean. just don't get a tin a day habit. then you're really screwed

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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies

You can't study to much, you are working towards your future. It's not her place to say either way or more do wth she care?? I do agree she sounds very jealous but the disrespect is not okay. Or the snide comments. These type are bullies they know the non confrontational people will let stuff slide. Someone else would have got in her face and been telling back, because her reactions are unneeded. The up side is your classmates are seeing for themselves she's a nut lol

8,521,984

[ 62 ]

208

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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies

Saying to them "I have zero contact with my parents, there is a history of abuse and I'm no contact and staying that way" is all you should need to say. They can ignore her calls once they realize what she's pulling, the demented part is a 67 year old woman calling your higher ups like you are in elementary school not a grown adult. Side note I have family like your mother I'm no contact with, best decision! They brought nothing but drama and problems. Totally can see your side and it's healthier for your child.

8,521,985

[ 59 ]

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7039483, 2292163, 5134056, 8130433, 1199413, 1898020, 1862567, 3665552, 1327014 ]

reddit_dump_Duckyjammies

There are mature, ready to settle down 24 year olds and then party it up 24 year olds. While she might fall in between, she is in a different stage in her life than you. Age gaps aren't always a big deal but this one sounds it. You were the third wheel because you have already been through that stage of life. While it would be rude without context for her to do that, you also stated it's just another day. Are you upset it was your birthday or that she is doing what college age kids do and not staying in the night with you?

8,521,986

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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies

Do you keep them out because of not liking them? It's your account and your choice honestly. I dislike my husbands family (it's like a <PERSON> show) and refused any requests they sent. My husbands relationship is his with them, ours is separate. They also can not speak English so there's extra problems there but how I see it is, I have zero desire for these people in my life I'm not adding them. Did the same with some of my own, the family that thrives on drama. Most likely they are mosey it's why a lot of people add others on Facebook. But they may be also trying to get closer, since your bf said he doesn't care though and you are happy how it is I'd leave it.

8,521,987

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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies

Unless he has a scholarship or grants then you are also paying for his schooling and he should be talking to you about it. Has he even told you his plans at all like where he would like to work etc? I'd feel the same as you, even more than deciding about children without you or schooling, I'd be annoyed he makes decisions as if he is single without responsibilities. You need to get some kind of answer from him as for what his plan is but it sounds like it will be a pulling teeth situation. Good luck!

8,521,988

[ 41, 62, 61 ]

199

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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies

The fact you seem to believe everything will be left behind is crazy in itself. You made a HUGE decision in a major life change for you to live with an ex in a city you have never visited, think you will drive away from your past and when he starts to date it won't cause issues? - yeah can't see how this is all a ticking time bomb at ALL.

8,521,989

[ 28 ]

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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies

If this is a running theme I'm leaning to think you are doing something that is putting off all your friends. Without more info though we can't help you with that. A previous poster was correct though if they are talking over you, ignoring you etc they are not your friends. There was a girl when I was in hs we did this too (we weren't trying to be mean, just annoyed she did not or could not read the social cues that we were not wanting her around.) we would act like she wasn't there. Our reasoning was she had really weird mood shifts that you had to tip toe around, she also invited herself to stuff. Are you expecting to much maybe? Are you considering people who are sharing classes friends when they don't really know you, so over stepping boundaries? Are you inviting yourself to events?

8,521,990

[ 48, 28 ]

243

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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies

God I'm mad for you! She needs to butt out and be told by your husband she does not get to make the rules but he seems to lack a spine. She raised her kids and judging by how her son lacks the ability to tell his mother to respect boundaries and not encourage her shows just how well she did with that task. He needs to get a clue he is married to you and not his mommy. She needs to respect boundaries and if not to get lost.

8,521,991

[ 59 ]

135

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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies

I think your husband has been to nice when dealing with him and it encouraged him. Start giving very short answers and no more details. Have you ever seen this son? Have you complained to the manager? (Assuming apartments). It's creepy he is always watching it seems. If he knocks again like that why not just yell through the door who is it? Instead of opening it to him? (Doesn't sound like he has been violent but he is pushy and you don't want him pushing his way on in!) Good luck, you shouldn't have to be on guard of getting his attention every time you leave your house.

8,521,992

[ 59, 60, 61 ]

48

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5159863, 1297356, 6367726, 1975094, 2923291, 8386243, 6312731, 3918757, 1886443, 9663145, 9835637 ]

reddit_dump_Duckyjammies

I'm surprised it took a bit of scrolling to see someone say this! He is the source of his problems and his sister is enabling his behavior by letting him stay. Why is how he disrespects you both and your home ok? I'd be looking at her differently at this point. If you feel threatened- call the cops. Tell him he has so long to be out because his sister won't. He won't be homeless either if he has an expensive car he could have made better decisions, he didn't so now he can live in his car. I'd be mad with her attitude though that his disrespect and ungratefulness is to just be tolerated.

8,521,993

[ 60 ]

135

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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies

Welcome to catty women. They could be jealous, they could just have nasty attitudes or any other number of stupid reasons. You can't worry on what they are saying because regardless nothing will ever be right, they proved this by them calling you a slut to a prude. Ignore them, part of it is to get a reaction from you to then have even more drama to be catty to you with. Learn from it too, finding true friends involves a LOT of weeding out. You may have been friendly with ones bf and she thought it was flirting and now she has a grudge. Doesn't really matter all that is their problems. Yours is to recognize there are just nasty people around and unless it's causing a problem in a work or living situation, you can't control what they say.

8,521,994

[ 62 ]

243

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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies

My brother use to figure out how to unlock doors and sneak out while people slept (never got out luckily due to dogs and he was noisy), so family put locks at the top of the door neither of us could reach. He figured out how to get the broom and shove the lock until it unlocked. They are seriously little ninjas lol To OP your sister is right and even if he didn't want to hold your hand you are the adult. <PERSON> explain why while taking hold of his hand. He got away with it once now so he will try again.

8,521,995

[ 59 ]

150

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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies

It sounds in some ways, yes she has been disrespectful, that you are blaming her actions but it might really be you are seeing she doesn't share your same ideals and morals. I'm with you I'd be pissed off if she brought a stranger into my home, drugs or did a disappearing act. But being mad she isn't working on herself, I think that's part of her personality that you didn't see until living together. When you live with friends, did it once and never again, even the closest of friends learn and see other sides of each other they may not like. Deciding to stay friends or not doesn't have to be done this instance. Maybe if she moves out and you are unaware of some things (bringing men home, focusing on men in an unhealthy way, drugs, not knowing she didn't come home) you can remain friends. Or maybe she has changed with time and you just are going separate ways. Any time people move in together, friends or not and regardless for how long, ground rules should be set. What is common sense and automatic to one might not be to another. Example if I lived with a friend and was going to be gone extremely late I'd give them a heads up just out of curtesy. Others might look at it they are adults and don't have to check in.

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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies

It's kind of funny because it was my best friend who moved in, friends for ten years, we were your age and I realized the lifestyle she was living was drastically different than what I wanted. (She also was a massive slob lol) I think 21-25 is when people start choosing life paths after college. You sound like you are not wanting a party lifestyle and want to build a home with your bf and she's going in another direction of focusing on men, drugs etc. It's not a bad thing it just sucks since there's so much history in the friendship. I now only see my friend I mentioned maybe once every two years and we talk once in a while on fb but otherwise we grew apart.

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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies

Agreed she will get worse if she realizes you are planning to leave. By locking you down she thinks she is going to keep control, but you are right she is stunting your growth in a lot of ways. The horror they play non Christian music? That's bizarre, do you only watch the Disney channel? You need to know about things in life to protect yourself but her logic is if we ignore it it doesn't exist.

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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies

I said that in another comment, I agree. It just isn't a foreign concept like some are making out. Unless it literally is, maybe they live in a different country than those of us who find this normal. I also stated her sulking for a week is extreme but <PERSON> posted he has had issues like this before with her and understandings so maybe there is more to it than just signing a gift from the baby.

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It sounds like he is bringing girls to your bfs place like your bf is single so girls for both to hook up with. I'm not saying that was your bfs plan or thought, I think his friend is making an uncomfortable situation. Because while his friend is booking up with a girl, unless it's a threesome or something what is this other girl doing? Why bring her along if it's not for her to hook up with his friend? Might be innocent or not, if not it doesn't sound like it's your bfs doing though. But it would make most uncomfortable.

8,522,000

[ 60, 59, 31, 48 ]

21

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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies

It's okay to cut toxic family members out of your life or to set strict boundaries. She sounds abusive like someone else said. If you don't want to totally cut her off you could set boundaries. Even if you don't tell her these boundaries, say see her for dinner every two months or something, if she starts berating you then you get up and walk away after telling her this is not acceptable and is not continuing. If you want a closer relationship try to talk to her about the stuff you told us, tell her this is why you are not close to her and see if she wants to work on it if that's what you want. But if she got angry when it was brought up I'd point out and this is why I can't be around you.

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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies

This! Also I worked in daycare, how many kids are in his class? If a big class (more than 6) there should be a teachers aid in with them. Either way how she informed you is NOT ok or professional and if one of us did that it would be an issue. Never mind that, it shamed your kiddo for something that is normal for his age. Kids play, do t want to stop etc. I'm also doubting he would even if making it up would come up with cleaning it up himself. But based on what you said and how she informed you, I'd trust your kiddo. Oh also he might have had the accident because she is causing anxiety or nervousness. If this is true I doubt it's the first time she's had a heavy hand approach.

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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies

Yes two family members. One is still dealing with it at four, the other has out grown it. Your families reaction is way out there, why would you punish him? For pooping on the floor yes, but not beating him. Your kiddo needs to get over the fear of the pain, not be punished for something that he was embarrassed by (hiding it probably for that and fear of being in trouble.) Also try changing his diet to help? Yogurt can help and might soften things up like the miralax. Cut back on binding foods like bananas and cheese?

8,522,003

[ 59, 61, 56, 49, 60, 48, 39, 62, 33, 14, 36, 15, 41 ]

45

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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies

1 - you asked, don't ask if you don't truly want to know. 2 - Jesus she's probably sick of being hounded by something so stupid so is lying because she's not going to win either way. 3 - get therapy for your severe insecurity. 4 - what are you wanting people to say? Dude could have a ten inch dick, there's NOTHING that will change that and that she slept with him. You are hyper focusing on something that will never change. Past is done, both in what she has said and who she has slept with.

8,522,004

[ 59 ]

123

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5733348, 1508771, 103577, 6069149, 3531102, 2650642, 5920497, 3541723, 9885407, 858903, 9310521, 915923, 2531096, 7980848, 5497844, 6405101, 736197, 9310647 ]

reddit_dump_Duckyjammies

If he had been there before, which it sounds like a place teens would go at times, wouldn't his scent he around the property anyway? I doubt him yelling for help would be heard, even so as sad as it is look how many people just don't want to get involved. If it's a known abandoned spots and teens end up there, do ya really listening to their yelling? Sad but that could be explained away too. I do know as a kid climbing in a cave in NH I suddenly panicked at the closer in quarters and for whatever reason my instinct was to pull my knees up to my chest too. Not sure if you think 'if I can do this, it's not that small' or what but could have helped lodge me there. My dad however noticed my panic and calmed me down (hate small spaces like that!), if he was high or goofing off there's so many scenarios that could have played out, and from the sound of it the only one that may be able to tell if he was involved, isn't stable and you can't believe what he does say true or not. Sad. His poor parents though, their kid is missing and all this time just two blocks away.

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Not about breastfeeding but your comment about acknowledging babies until a certain point. That's something that happened often and not as far off as a lot of people who know about it, would like to believe. There was about a year ago a story about an elderly woman discussing her family and their graves. There were five infants in the family plot. Three without names and two that shared the same name. When questioned she stated it was common "in her parents time" to not name children to get attached since survival wasn't a guarantee and also to reuse names. I remember it due to finding death notices for unnamed infants when doing genealogy. It was sadly common and was an upsetting thought that those children were basically replaceable. It then made me question my own family, both my grandmothers (I'm 36 for reference) had still births. It was common to not name the baby or have any kind of memorial for closure. People seem to think this stuff was way far off in the past when it was only a few generations away. (Sorry for the long text!)

8,522,006

[ 34, 52, 53, 25, 39 ]

51

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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies

I'm wondering if he has issues of his own that you remind him of. Your OCD, maybe he fears hurting woman or something. What I wanted to comment on though is I also have OCD, congrats on getting it under control. It will be a struggle unfortunately but the fact you got it controlled in a year shows you have the ability to do so. So while I understand the apprehension of roller coaster if with it, it most likely will happen but you have the ability to get control again. Also getting away from your father will lessen your anxiety and should improve your OCD to a degree.

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All stuff about open relationships aside, you hit the comfortable stage which is why a lot of people do break up. I think you were right with the "grass is greener" comment. I've been with my husband six years also, it's different because there are no longer "first times" or that excited lust spark because you know each other so well. It's not a bad thing, it's just a high to experience a new relationship and what comes with it. I thought on leaving to but realized I was wanting to leave because things got comfortable and it was stupid for me to want that where I love him and have a good life. Really think things over, once you move forward to split you can't always undo it.

8,522,008

[ 28 ]

199

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351610, 1041571, 3482399, 5227661, 10097703, 4370683, 1723112, 9127340, 7517621, 5620528, 1241760, 2285920, 5508269, 2295709 ]

reddit_dump_Duckyjammies

How much time did you spend with him when meeting? I think part of your insecurities is you really don't know him. It's really shitty he isn't offering you a place to stay, my husband and I were long distance and he always let me stay with him. While it's new to you, you also are paying airfare that's expensive. I think you need to get to know him and not put such high hopes on someone that you haven't met that much time with. Also work on your self esteem, for you, not him or any other guy because you will possibly cause issue by creating problems in your head otherwise. That being said long distance is hard and you have to trust and know the person you are with. Good luck!

8,522,009

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199

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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies

Honestly I'd be mad at my wife if I was you. It's her job to deal with her family and setting boundaries. I see no reason for you to be around them, not only are they horrible and disrespectful they never made an attempt. She should have long ago set boundaries and if she wanted a relationship with them than make it clear the topic of you, marriage etc was not to be approached and if they ignored that THEN go no contact. Edit to add - another thing to consider the way she accuses you of abuse, imagine what she could do if you had children? That's not only leverage to manipulate your wife but huge accusations that could truly cause damage. Definitely think on having kids and what could happen if you do stay with your wife.

8,522,010

null

135

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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies

Two thoughts here, either you love her and just aren't the romantic type or you are very indifferent on being with her. If it's the first she is wanting you to say sweet things it reassures her you love her and want to be with her. But the more I read your responses I think you couldn't care less on being with her which why are you bothering if that's the case? Either way no woman is gonna want to hear "you help pay the rent" as a reason you love her.

8,522,011

[ 62, 28 ]

123

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4012842, 2290186, 6405112, 3550370, 6972586, 4623828, 2043905, 5421253, 7081993, 1292181, 5691915, 3286715, 7076551, 5674959 ]

reddit_dump_Duckyjammies

Question, would you have married him or been with him if not for your child? You two sound horribly matched honestly and the physical violence is extremely upsetting and worrisome. You also don't want your child to grow up finding that acceptable. While you can not rely on him being your only source of interaction, it sounds like a miserable situation. I'd seriously be looking to move back to my family, he is not supportive of you and the physical abuse should be a deal breaker.

8,522,012

[ 61, 60, 59 ]

135

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4466058, 6182566, 6873405, 7518315, 2539780, 5282372, 6626086, 10138829, 8871208, 3512451, 1104114, 698256, 3113135, 4809338, 3709110, 1995263 ]

reddit_dump_Duckyjammies

Gah I'd have told you not to let friends move in without an end date if known before hand. I made that mistake and it was hell getting the mooch out! You had warning of his character sadly, he kept getting degrees to avoid working so giving him an opportunity to live free with no end date was the worst thing you could have done. But it's done so onto plan B. Do you want him out regardless of him contributing or if he pays rent do you not mind? I'd tell him he has thirty days (unless it's longer in your state as he is now legally a resident in your home), in writing, to get out or start paying so much a month. Put into writing his rent and any other house rules you want him to follow and sign it. I'd personally have a stipulation like "if at any time the rules are broken and rent is laid he has to leave within two weeks" or whatever you are comfortable with. What he does shouldn't matter to you as long as he isn't doing anything illegal from your home, if he works McDonald's etc who cares he will be paying rent. But right now he is freeloading and doesn't care the toll it's taking on the friendship. Now my experience, I will never let a friend move in again except for a select few who I know share my level of cleanliness and are responsible. I let a friend move in and she didn't work, clean, or make an effort. I ended up with her baby even after she moved out, as DSS got involved. But to get rid of her I had to look at apartments and basically evict her to a place I found for her to go. It was a mess and made me realize sometimes people's 'bad luck/breaks' is just laziness. Your friend already milked avoiding work by staying in school and you handed him a free pass. He will not suddenly develop pride and get a job, you are gonna have to kick him in the butt.

8,522,013

null

48

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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies

Regardless of what could be or what happens with this guy, why are you willing (and did you) accept being second place? She is in love with this guy but can't have him so settled for you. You accept that (!!!) and then suddenly he changes his mind and she drops you like a hot potato. Expect more from a woman you date, do not settle for being someone's second choice! It's better to be alone than be a consolation prize. Edit to add - she's texting about mistakes? I'm betting he is already backing out now. Here's the thing my friend spent twenty years with a guy who straight up told her in her wedding day " I can't be with the one I truly want" and now they are divorced and she's looking at how the whole relationship had issues. Because even if he loved her, she wasn't who he truly wanted so he didn't put the effort in. Also how secure do you think she felt with him and that playing at the back of her mind. You seem to have other aspects of your life together, you will find someone who isn't wasting her life/time on a guy that is keeping her on a string. Maybe she's now realizing what she is giving up, but honestly she isn't good enough for you in what she brings to the relationship.

8,522,014

[ 28, 31 ]

123

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1296248, 5515884, 16201, 3644640, 5601087, 7787649, 4456114, 6616558, 3525316 ]

reddit_dump_Duckyjammies

Your friend is catty. I'm 5'10 and was never embarrassed by my height. I've had catty girls comment on my height to me cause guys did like I was tall (btw I'm the same height as my husband and I wear heels etc, so that comment was stupid.) Either way when girls got catty to me I'd tell them not to take it out on me they were ankle biter level. I'm more concerned on why one catty girls comment has you embarrassed? Nothing is wrong with your girlfriend and you shouldn't be embarrassed by her. You should have defended her or at least found your friends comment uncalled for.

8,522,015

[ 62 ]

123

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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies

I believe it's a way for anyone about to make uncalled for advances, to test out your reaction. I had a guy grab my ass on the train and when I screamed "don't touch me" everyone stared and he slunk away. But those type count on the people to embarrassed or to nice to make a scene. So make a scene, screw what strangers think someone is touching you inappropriately.

8,522,016

[ 53, 63, 13, 59, 55, 28 ]

230

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2565496, 4338793, 4657277, 9925707, 2326073, 1789271, 3501531, 4679784, 8541819, 2184211, 7160765, 1090692, 1884209, 7561799, 3363356 ]

reddit_dump_Duckyjammies

Was about to say all of this. Why was he so focused on his ex anyway after that time should have been questioned. But once you break up, if, he will do all this to you also. I'd definitely tell her to get a restraining order. Also it's extremely childish his friend is causing her problems. Even if true it wasn't his concern and definitely shouldn't have been brought into the work place. If she gets a restraining order, after she should bring it to her boss and tell him the abuse his friend is now doing needs to be addressed. What a childish mess all cause of your bf!

8,522,017

[ 60 ]

21

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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies

I'm not getting the other responses personally. Even if she is friends with him, why would you want to be he betrayed your trust, why her family would want him there I find bizarre! I don't blame you at all and personally I wouldn't go (but that could cause all kinds of problems!), but for me personally I'm of the mind why would I go to something I know will be a miserable time? I really don't understand what's going on here though. Does her family want her back with him? Did they want her to overlook the cheating? Was she on the fence of leaving him? Personally I'd also be questioning if her thinking is so skewed from my own what else will she find acceptable in the future I won't? Maybe you two just aren't compatible? Edit to add - if I was her I personally would never want to make my bf uncomfortable especially for a guy I wasn't with and hurt me in the past.

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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies

Your bf is a jerk to be blunt. "I don't want anyone to know my business" I read as he is worried someone will recognize you. He needs to get over it, he shouldn't have asked that if he couldn't handle it, or break up. He doesn't sound embarrassed but ashamed which should make you ask 'why is he staying', if he truly loves you then he shouldn't be hung up on your past. You deserve better than him, your past is the past. He shouldn't be hiding your relationship. You are his partner, not a secret.

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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies

I think her outlook is skewed because her parents views are! If that was my daughter I wouldn't want him in my house. I'm not really sure how you can resolve this though. You either go and just deal, but the fact they view this as normal is strange and what else will he be invited to? Don't go and possibly cause an issue with your gf, and she doesn't seem to get it either way. I saw you ditched a friend (unless for a good reason don't do that!) and she has jealousy issues so she's assuming your issue with this guy is jealousy I think. What's truly strange is an ex is an ex for a reason and really has no place in your life once split unless you have children together. - have you said that to her? Told her it has nothing to do with jealousy but there is no reason for a guy you dated a year ago and cheated on you, to be invited? I can't help but feel her parents are trying to push her back with him. Try flipping it "would you be okay with me inviting my exes to events?"

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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies

Your mothers family is childish as can be! So she was going to cut you out and leave you with that as your lady memory after never even discussing it with you? Few things, you are their child not an adult in their past relationship. It is not your job to take sides. As your mother and adult she should know that. While he did your mother wrong he is your father and his actions had nothing to do with you. Would she rather you visit your father as a kid and have a hostile, horrible time every weekend?! If I was in your mothers situation I would be happy my child wasn't having a difficult time, as parents splitting up affects them too. The fact your father is leaving you an inheritance shouldn't have anything to do with the childish crap she is pulling. This isn't hs, I can see wanting you to understand his betrayal caused and his actions were wrong, but not expecting you to 'pick sides'. He is also your parent. It seems she sees in black and white, unless you totally cut him off you are not loyal to her which is not how life works. The fact her parents are also doing this and encourage it, is bizarre. I would as her child rethink my position. As she ages and needs help, I would let my sisters help her. If she comments tell her loyalty works both ways, I love you but the fact you have such out there views I feel more comfortable keeping my distance. Their attitudes are truly bizarre, sorry OP.

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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies

You truly sound upset she isn't spending money on you. "I'd like to take us out", paraphrasing here but you can but you said you can't afford it. So no you want her to take you out. She is frugal, has a plan and is happy. You want her to waste money on a bigger place, meals etc when she is happy with how things are. Once again you can claim all you want that you don't want her to spend money on you but that's how it's reading. She sounds very smart and has her act together. Not sure if you are upset she isn't spending more on you or intimidated but she's doing things correctly. A large chunk of the country sank because they live outside their means with mortgages they never should have had. Flip side your gf is living in her means and saving and it upsets you.

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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies

Sounds horrible but did he say that for dramatic effect or to get attention? I personally look at it if you can lie over trivial things, what important things are you lying about? Same with a lie of omission. I'd tell him I know you lied, why did you do it and keep it up. But I personally would be questioning everything he said because he had ten YEARS to say oh btw while I worked in NYC I didn't actually live there.

8,522,023

[ 61, 15, 28, 25, 60, 64 ]

43

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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies

So what if he does want her? 'She broke up with him'. She keeps him there like I keep my ex on mine, (my husband when dating sounded like you), he was a part of her life and the memories are there but the feelings are not. I was with my ex three years, he was a part of my life so I'm fb friends with him. Doesn't mean anything to me now just memories. " the fact he's her ex who dated her for two years that bugs me" - Even if he wasn't on her list he was a part of her life and you can't erase that.

8,522,024

[ 28, 60 ]

123

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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies

Your friends sound disgusting and seem to base their decisions on "status". Tell them since they are dating "real" doctors they can afford the vet bill. They belittled him and now because they are cheap, want a favor. I would not try to get them this favor personally, they are rude and disrespectful. Btw he sounds like he has it together, smart not introducing his kids to women until he is sure and comfortable.

8,522,025

null

32

null

reddit_dump_Duckyjammies

Your bf should be putting a stop to all of it instead of sitting there like a dummy. The fact he won't even do that with his sister is a huge red flag and this will be a constant issue in your telationship. He needs to set boundaries and tell them you are his gf and he expects them to be respectful, but I really don't see that happening. Do you really want to be with someone who won't fight for you? Also you were working, not doing your hair! God forbid the princess wait for you to finish your shift/job. That alone would have pissed me off. I'd seriously be backing out now.

8,522,026

[ 62 ]

21

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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies

While he does sound like he treats you more as a roommate, a lot want that constant honeymoon phase and it is unrealistic. Talk to him about what you want and are not happy about, warn him that if it doesn't change than this is not the relationship for you. You do not need him to cheat to leave. It sounds like you think that will take guilt off of you for leaving but be an adult. You aren't happy you can leave. No one has to cheat for that to happen.

8,522,027

[ 61, 31, 60 ]

21

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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies

Effexor is the devil. I was put on it to see if it would help my fibro and it made me worse in so many ways! Is he tapering off? How long has he been on it? Do NOT give him those meds it makes the withdrawal worse! Mine had me twitching and up walking circles when I made the dumb mistake of trying zzzquil. There isn't a led for him to take to help withdrawal, he will have side effects regardless but he might have had a more spanned tapering plan depending on his dose and how long he was on it. I hardly slept while getting off that horrible med, and sadly a big part is just time.

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[ 41, 61, 31, 60 ]

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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies

Your relationship isn't healthy sounding at all. Also saying I love you 20 times a day sounds needy, also not healthy. It seems you are supportive of her but not the other way around, you are just there to serve her needs. I wouldn't limit myself by making decisions based on her neediness. Be faithful, communicate but proceed with your life in a healthy way. If it's a huge issue, yes she'd miss you but it's 12 weeks not 12 years, and tried to manipulate/guilt etc you at least get a glimpse of what the future holds. She needs her own life outside of your relationship.

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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies

Pancreatic cancer is a horrible thing to watch destroy someone. My aunt died of it and she was literally a skeletal shell by the end. It usually isn't found until stage four and the patient usually dies in a matter of months. Frankly your post is very narcissistic and not everything is about you. He is losing his mother, I'm betting he has only had a few months to deal with this, and even though she is still here she is probably drugged up and no longer herself so he has already lost her to a degree. He will also have her death to grieve and a new way of life to deal with, he is having an extremely hard time and it will take a long time for him to adjust. He seems better off because you don't sound to be able to look outside yourself and give him the support he needs. He was honest with you that he is having a rough time and your thinking about yourself. Kind of telling. I lost my brother two years ago suddenly, I'm STILL dealing with ups and downs and my husband knows it has nothing to do with him and tries to help. What I'm saying with that is, this will not be a "oh his mom died he's sad but ok in a week type of thing", there is a long road of emotions ahead. If you can't deal with that for him it's best you not add more grief while he's already dealing with so much.

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[ 41 ]

21

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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies

So how I see it: 1- was committed to you. 2- got to where his ex lived but didn't want to cheat and to avoid guilt he asks if you can have an open relationship, so if the spark with the ex isn't there he still has you as back up. 3- sleeps with ex and no spark! 4- wants to be monogamous again now that he isn't with ex. 5- a friend tells you this, not him. Why exactly are you in love with a liar that makes you a back up? Ick, run!

8,522,031

[ 28, 60, 61 ]

21

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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies

Panic attacks are horrible, I have them too. Just remember usually it's crap we make up in our heads that aren't logical (easier said than done.) I'm not trying to be harsh I'm trying to prepare you I guess is the word, he will be distracted or sad for a while. It sucks because there's nothing anyone can do. I needed space too, people respond to grief too. As weird as it sounds I didn't want anyone around while I dealt with his death because it always just us (as kids) and I didn't wanna share him now in death as weird as that sounds. Everyone deals differently. Try to remember he isn't withdrawing from YOU but from life in all aspects most likely. It's a big adjustment, do you have a close friend you can talk to when YOU panic so as not to cause more issues with your bf?

8,522,032

null

199

null

reddit_dump_Duckyjammies

All you can do is tell him you are there for him. Where is his mother in her cancer? Is she aware or has she hit the point they are keeping her drugged up? Does he have siblings? Where's his dad? It IS a hard slope for you in the sense you don't want him to think you don't care but you don't want to smother. When I was in the crappy place my best friend and SO (weren't living together at time) would test me daily with "let me know if you need anything just checking up" maybe tell him you will text every few days and if he feels like talking or needs to he can, otherwise just an acknowledgement that he is hanging in there as best he can? How close was he to his mom? It is easier if you lived with him, leave food by him even if he doesn't eat it it's a sign of caring. Doing his laundry etc because every day, mundane chores get ignored at a point.

8,522,033

[ 60, 61 ]

21

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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies

I am both an artist and photographer, this is really close to the "selling out" line of thinking some people have. I, unless commissioned with freedom, make my personal work more creative than that which is stock or commissioned. Everything is technically fine but I take more risks with my personal art unless requested. Book covers for example. Before so many graphic artists started creating book covers as side income I made a series of illustrations for two authors. One was very specific on what they wanted but in my style, the other told me to 'have fun'. You know what sells, keep it up but also be creative an experiment for you. All of this was one reason I regretted going to art school too, all the technically seemed to stifle my creativity because before I never was so technical etc. my skills grew but I think something got reigned in also. (Not really explaining this right! Lol) Either way it doesn't have to be an either/or. Once done with new photos of what sells, get playing!

8,522,034

[ 28, 17, 29, 10, 25, 41, 16, 37, 20 ]

238

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5929758, 1764464, 947601, 4357952 ]

reddit_dump_Duckyjammies

I wish everyone had this mentality. I look younger than I am and think it contributes to this, but I get snubbed by the older birders when out in locations where we all end up meeting up. A few of the birders who were not apparently raised by wolves have commented they are like that to a lot of 'young' people. It's rude and made me self conscious to be out there. A few other 'young' birders I have met while out have also stated it. BTW when I say young I don't mean teens, I mean 30's!

8,522,035

[ 37, 42, 17, 28, 56, 25, 58, 53, 18, 48, 49, 52 ]

218

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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies

Nope, just me. I've been snubbed on someone helping me out but then they get all flustered when they realize I know where some things are. Example a woman was talking about a northern harrier, I asked if she could point me in the right direction and the attitude she gave me and refusal reminded me of a kindergarten kid told to share their snack. Another woman, obviously her friend, walked up and was pleasant to me asking if I saw the northern harrier and I said no and made a face at her friend. The nice woman then said I also hear there's a short earred owl around, I said yes I have been photographing it for a half hour. Suddenly the cranky old bat wanted to share info, I ignored her and told her nice friend I'm all about sharing info I find it childish otherwise, however the attitude and look of disgust your friend gave me when I asked to not even be told exact spot but general direction for the northern harrier made me decide not to share. Maybe she will wake up that being rude doesn't pay off. The woman straight up said she agreed with me and her friend was like that to some others! Was it childish of me, yes and I felt bad for the nice lady, however I am so sick of that rude dismissive attitude and only being nice to you for what they can get. I know a lot of photographer birders don't want to share due to wanting "the shot", which is also childish but you are suppose to be adults! These are people my parents age!! I'll share my info with anyone as long as you aren't a jerk, and since I'm frozen out (it's happened on fb groups and other young birders every month of do will make same complaint) but help others of a certain age, I have to do a lot of work to find them since I'm on my own and no one to give a helping hand. (Side note I love all birds but raptors, owls my main focus right now, are my main birds I'm seeking. Also would love to see a kestrel that isn't zipping by my head before I truly get a look!) Edit to add, wow that was long! I promise I'd share info if I wasn't meg with petty rudeness lol though it may not seem it.

8,522,036

[ 28, 37, 52, 53, 48, 63, 58, 13, 56, 17 ]

218

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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies

I've been entering abandoned asylums/homes etc for over sixteen years now and I see it differently. This was two blocks away from his home, if he was exploring this place he most likely would have before its right there. (I traveled out of state often for asylums especially but before my state, Massachusetts, turned most into condos or ripped them down one was two towns over and I went there often) if it's basically in your 'backyard' you go often is my point, I doubt he would have gone to that extreme to get into a shack. Also if he DID why alone? Rarely do people go alone, especially a shack of a house. If he went in there I don't see why unless he wasn't alone and they were meeting up to get high or drunk etc, it sounds like a dumpy shack that he most likely been through before. Very well could have been an accident, and if that <PERSON> person was with him and as crazy as he sounds, <PERSON> could have got stuck climbing in and crazy took off leaving him. That's what it seems to me, what's terrifying is how long did it take him to die and if what I just said is true did he think his friend was getting help or coming back?

8,521,981

[ 9, 19, 13, 36, 28, 51, 40 ]

118

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reddit_dump_Duckyjammies

It sucks, I've been through the suddenly being responsible for someone else's child (I love him but when you suddenly have a teenager and it wasn't your way of life before it can get resentful/stressful) and health/accident wise. You sound very strong willed to not fall in the pattern your parents did addiction wise it sounds like once the hard decision on your brothers is made you might lessen your drinking. You are young (younger than me and I found it frazzling) to suddenly be in the mom roll to kids that age, do what you need to for YOUR life. Good luck

8,521,982

[ 41, 61 ]

17

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2137097, 4673710, 3512472, 7455663, 1974249, 6816844, 1923276, 8274746, 4443605, 4001685, 8182008, 7801273, 7550524, 4098389, 8819117 ]

reddit_dump_Duckyjammies

Doesn't matter what the object is, she's just inviting herself to your items and that needs to be addressed. This isn't even she took her bfs socks but his roommates? That's a lack of boundaries. I'd tell her it is not okay to just help herself to our items, clothing and beauty products. If she can't respect that than some kind of roommate agreement would be needed about over night guests. Honestly that's just weird how quick she became overly comfortable in your home. Are you guys friends and hang out or is she just a roommates gf?

8,521,983

[ 48 ]

123

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]

reddit_dump_laurenellemartin

First few weeks all walks were just sniff sessions. He would spend a good 5 minutes on 1 plant sniffing every part of every leaf. Once he had discovered the world a bit we took him to training sessions, we use ‘this way’ a lot. He is a super puller so the MOMENT the leash tightens, we change direction. Getting to the meadow can take triple the time, but consistency is key. If he really pulls we make him sit, then redirect where we are going. <PERSON> said that when you’re walking somewhere, the dog knows it’s going forward so naturally pulls that way to get to the destination. So to include lots of direction changes, randomly stop and sit down. YOU might find it unusual to sit in the middle of a path, but your dog should not. Randomly stopping, direction changes etc should all be second nature. Take it slow, and have fun! :)

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Our vet said to us that while he grows, basically just let him eat whatever he wants. Once his growing starts to settle and he starts to stock out, then start to portion it out. We have always fed our boy more than the recommended amount and he is the perfect weight as he is super active. You know your dog, and if he starts to get a bit chunky, you know to cut it back a bit.

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reddit_dump_laurenellemartin

It’s so sad when your dog just wants to play! We have the same issue! He is such a happy boy and wants to interact with EVERY dog. When he was younger and we were training and a dog approached, or the owner didnt want interaction, we would literally walk in the opposite direction. I would keep a firm grip on the lead and walk with purpose away from the other dog, my dog might look back but would quickly followed me. Immediate removal from the situation worked when he was younger, but the best fix was working regimentally on his ‘stay’. From a puppy I taught ‘stay’ at home daily. Once he started being able to handle outdoor training properly and I would spot a dog in the distance, into position we would get! Lead gets shortened, dog in between my legs and ‘sit’ and ‘stay’. ‘Stay’ would be repeated multiple times as the dog approached, and a few times if he looked ready to move from position I’d wave my hand once in front of his nose whilst repeating ‘stay’ to remind him of his command. Once the dog had passed I’d walk him the opposite way whilst praising heavily (verbal and treats). He’s 7 months and has a very solid stay. Can leave anything in front of him and leave the room and he’ll hang on until his command.

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My boy is almost 8 months, I actually posted a normal daily routine in here this evening but I’ll try to be brief and add timings! 08.15 - Wake up and let out of crate. Immediate pee in the garden and some energetic good morning cuddles for 10 mins/ half hour. 09.45 - Chews a bone and generally mooches around whilst partner gets ready for walk. 10.00 - Big walk for 45 mins/ 1 hour. 11.00 - Breakfast and nap time. 13.00 - Pee time in the garden or a short run in the field in front of the house for 10 mins. Followed by some play time (tug of war, training session etc) 14.00 - Entertains self with chews/ toys/ naps at my feet in the office. 17.00 - Pee time and playtime! Tug of war, training, crazy running around the house - whatever! 18.00 - 20 minute walk round the block 18.30 - Pull all the bedding from the crate and hump every single inch of it / pee in the garden / repeat for a while 20.00 - wind down, cuddle mum and start to snooze. (Around 23.30 fiancé comes home so game of tug and another pee then into the crate)

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Ignore it and act totally normal. My fiancé noticed that whenever our boy experienced a new sound he would look at me immediately to see if I was worried or was about to comfort him, which would feed into his narrative of ‘scary sound’. If he’s worried about something I keep a cheery tone and encourage playtime! Big loud noises aren’t scary, here’s a game of TUG! Distract distract!

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reddit_dump_laurenellemartin

Just like our boy, he was scared for a long while of the car. 3 things helped us: 1) We transitioned slowly (and I mean SLOWLT) from my lap, to back seat, to the boot with the back seat down so he could see us, to being in the boot. 2) We put his old bedding in the boot. This made a HUGE difference. He loves it. 3) Making a conscious effort to have car rides end in FUN. We took a week off and drove places half hour away every day, a few times a day to different dog parks, the beach, anywhere we knew he would have a blast. I definitely don’t miss the crying in the car stage, we were adamant that he had car sickness, but, like every other weird puppy behaviour, it disappeared. Puppies make you feel like nothing you do will ever work, and then one day you sit there and realise ‘hey, the dog hasn’t done XXX in so long’

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reddit_dump_laurenellemartin

Honestly that sounds about right, at his age he will sleep between 6-10 hours at night time (4,5,6am all put him in this bracket) and they nap a LOT during the day. As he gets a bit older he will start to naturally sleep a bit longer at nighttime instead of the spontaneous puppy ‘cat naps’. Short whines are ok to wait out until they pass. ‘Screaming’, banging against the crate etc are all signs that he’s in discomfort. He might need a pee, or he might just be awake and ready for the day. Try to ignore the 4am cries if you can and start implementing already that 5am is the earliest (their body clocks are outstanding) and 6am even better. Just stick with it, you will get there. Our 7 month has only just started hanging out in his crate without us prompting. Take it slow. (Our boy has always been 10pm ish to bed and did the same, letting him do his business and then back to bed until it was a suitable time. In my head if he had toileted, and wasn’t hungry or thirsty then he wasn’t wanting an essential need, just testing his boundaries)

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This was a difficult decision, but you put the puppies welfare before your want for a puppy. Thank you for not just abandoning him. You’re a responsible person, and when the time is right I’m sure you will make a great dog owner. Owning a dog is more than just wanting a pet, it takes time and commitment. You did the right thing. Well done.

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reddit_dump_laurenellemartin

Our boy was a total diva with his food. We tried the food his breeder gave. Kept it dry, got it wet, mixed it with yoghurt, added chicken. Everything worked for a week or so and then complete disinterest. We moved him to boiled rice and boiled chicken breast as his main meals whilst we trialed different foods so his stomach wouldn’t suffer. Ask your local pet store for samples of the pet food, ours gave us so many even when we went back multiple times, tails between our legs, saying he didn’t like it. We are now in ‘Gentle Cold pressed kibble’ which he loves. It also doesn’t ‘bloat’ in their tummies, it disintegrates. Our vet gave us the best advice ‘if he is hungry, he will eat’. He just isn’t very food orientated, but he now eats a decent amount and it’s good quality food.

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reddit_dump_laurenellemartin

LOL the puppy is definitely hearing him and wants him to come comfort him. He will grow out if it, it’s just all new sounds still... still, don’t be scared to comfort him a bit. Lots of people say ‘ignore ignore ignore’ but if I started to feel like he was *crying* and not just whining, I would go to him, pick him up and almost soothe him like a baby, then back in the crate. He would whine afterwards for a bit but wouldn’t *cry* then he’d go back to sleep. Consistent training is important, but so is ensuring you are a source of comfort to your newest addition. <PERSON> (trainer on YouTube) says that just cuddling, laying with, and comforting your puppy is just as important to build your bond, as much as training is important.

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Same for us. I feed and train my boy and he’s a snuggle monster. My fiancé however is seen more as his playmate so gets his feet nipped at and tug of war toys bought to him always. Snuggles and settling aren’t the only signs of affection. My boy barely cuddles my partner, but when he comes in from work the dogs butt nearly falls off due to the wagging. As for her resenting him- she may have puppy blues. My partner did because of the above reasons. ‘Do you think he likes me??’ Was a frequent question. My suggestion: if you can, have your wife take over some smaller training sessions that are easy for both and let her give high rewards (sit, lay down, paw, spin) and let her take him for at least a walk a day for a few days. When we did this after 2 weeks or so our boy started to like my fiancé a lot lot more, which resulted in fiancé liking the dog more, and then it naturally went from there!

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undogooder

He is a treasure trove of touring information. Heck, I just looked at a post with a jpeg of all the stuff two people were sending home because the just didn't need it...including two ulocks! I was gonna bring a ulock, then I bought the blueprint and the only thing I felt I didn't need on the trip was a padlock and extra cable. If you're in doubt, get it. Lots of invaluable info for a little money. And if you are the type, I downloaded a torrent of it after loosing the copy I bought.

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undogooder

I biked the southern tier a few years ago & never worried about bears. I am on the Transam right now, so that is a different story. If you want to take precautions though, yes, take rope and tie to a tree branch. There are many ways to do this and a simple google search will give you ideas of how. Always make sure it is at least 200ft. from your tent! [Here]( [URL] is one site to help. Good luck and have a blast man! Edit: Also, I kept ALL food in one pannier so I would only have to hang one pannier

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8794808, 9078249, 800780, 6257637, 5890732, 5185371, 4684522, 4189081, 269946, 7827499, 1356503, 8532538, 7359891, 2649514, 2508887, 4519171, 4367928, 6091974 ]

undogooder

Sweet! I have a ['99 Specialized Hardrock FS]( [URL] that I got on Craigslist for $100! A hate flat bars so, first thing I did was change the bar, got some '80s style 10speed foam grips and kept the grip shifts on the drops. I'll upload a pic soon. The only thing original still left on the frame is the seat post! In total, I spent about $1200. I'll post a recent pic also. tl/dr: If you like it keep it & +1 for keeping it on the road! Frankenbike: [URL] More recent, have made changes: [URL]

6,164,802

[ 90, 83 ]

248

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1022078, 7100784, 6284378, 5767487, 9504583, 2409151, 7919040, 9279469, 6162056, 4541468, 8928087, 7965921, 8198686, 6186151 ]

undogooder

As far as upgrading components: the bike had Altus & was lucky to find someone on Craigslist with a square taper Deore LX crank with 172.5 arms & deore front & rear derailleur amongst other parts cheap. I did up it to a 9 speed cassette. I got some ultegra bar ends & [MKS Touring pedals]( [URL] with [power grips]( [URL] The headset had seized up on me so I got a sealed bearing [Cane Creek 40]( [URL] For the comfort of touring, I put a stem with a 35° rise on it. [Here]( [URL] is a photo I just took. Any questions, ask away friend!

6,164,803

[ 90, 83 ]

248

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undogooder

I have a [Botrager Backrack Deluxe]( [URL] & was the best rack for the price imo. I won't even comment on my front rack/s (2 separate pieces) cuz it sucks & need to replace it. I LOVE my [Brooks Flyer Pre-aged]( [URL] The pre-aged has a lot less "break in" time and needs no proofide for a long time, if ever. The springs are very strong and act as a suspension, but you won't be bouncing up & down on it. I use the bike as a commuter and on tours ride an average of 30-60 miles a day. As for the crank arms, they fit me good. I have about a 30.5"-31" inseam. Lil legs also. Cane Creek makes sealed threaded headsets also!

6,164,804

[ 90, 83 ]

248

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10103947, 4305023, 3842282, 7070262, 3600902, 5768784, 1249082, 3926048, 8561413, 9957811, 9777067, 9300823, 2138067, 382989, 6887645, 2111187 ]

undogooder

As a Clydesdale over 300lbs/21 stone, you don't need front suspension. It's just more added weight. There are lots of question that come into play as far as comfort goes, seeing as you will be in the saddle for hours on end. A comfy saddle is one of the most important things. Do you like drop bars or straight? Go to your lbs and test ride different bikes. Something more upright will keep you from having back pain and the sort. Steel frames will absorb more bumps that aluminum. Research the shit out of bikes.

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undogooder

Good for you! I hope many read this & something "clicks". Life is what you make of it & while a lot of people have a death grip on their "security blanket" I think many are taking steps to find themselves & their true place in life. I myself have done two bike tours, purposefully going until broke just to humble & build myself up again. Imo, it is a very spiritual experience & helps you think in a whole new way. Just like the quote says; it's the how, not the what. Take care & and experience many new things!

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undogooder

I have [this]( [URL] and have looked up & memorized how to filter water from nearby rivers in military survive guides. Always check for any contamination upstream from you. Hell, one time I was out of water & finally came across the first house I had seen in over ten miles & nothing in the direction I was going. Knocked on the door; nobody home. I was so desperate, I filtered some water from their pool. 4/10: could taste the chlorine but didn't die. Wouldn't recommend. Tl;dr: get a filtration system.

6,164,807

[ 90, 80, 81, 89, 79, 78, 88 ]

232

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748486, 1700141, 725433, 4670494, 2653180, 579309, 8030633, 548887, 5990367, 3537745, 2674876, 4385314, 3478633, 5519559, 802053, 5777212, 117983, 151420 ]

undogooder

I would like to put my two cents in. I was on a 1/2 cross country bicycle tour from WI to CA. I spent 5 days here & was hooked! I came from a city of 70,000 & I get the same feeling here as far as size. I come from middle class/low income so I connect with poor better than rich. I have been homeless buy CHOICE, just to see what people have to go thru. I work at a loaf n jug for the moment because I needed a quick job & customer service is where I have the most exp. Now, this is a profession that allows you to see people for who they truly are! You meet the shit stains & the genuine folks. I have met SOOOO many good hearted people here in contrast. I have only been here since the end of July & know about the Mexican Cartel, the corrupt LE, the drugs & violence. Way more here than where I come from. But, you know what? This is still a better place imo. Even though WI is a dem state, there were so many rich fucks that thought they could shit rose smelling gold bricks & you were nothing but a puddle to be avoided. I will ALWAYS relate more to a homeless man/woman than a person that has had everything handed to them! Life IS what you make of it. Is your shit in the toilet, or in your hand? If it's in your hand, we didn't put it there...

6,164,808

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73

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undogooder

I get ya bro. Unfortunately everyone is so comfortable, that if the shit hit the fan they would be fucked; and you should be too. So, to try and appeal to the domestic beast: I am a sporadic person and sometimes, on my days off, I like to get on my bike and go for an adventure. I am also a procrastinator. If I have a bag already packed, I don't have to worry about saying, fuck it half way through packing and giving up. Also, the end in nigh bitches!

6,164,809

null

250

null

undogooder

I always have a cable lock. At night I run it through my bike and around a tent pole. That way even if someone cuts the cable it will shake the tent & alert me. No lock is safe, just a deterrent. When I stop anywhere, I ask if I can bring the bike in. 9/10 times they are glad to help. You are a paying customer. The lock is mostly for over night & a necessity. What's another couple pounds? TL;DR: Worth it's weight in gold.

6,164,810

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248

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1896913, 2729730, 8145230, 6642659, 6152880, 8814836, 8088188, 7637643, 6887490, 5582555, 1182685, 2205597, 7882323, 3238080, 9935667 ]

undogooder

I rode on it from Topeka KS to Pueblo CO starting back in June. I stayed at the LBS in Newton KS(highly recommended) just as the Trans Am racers were coming through. They HIGHLY advised against riding on hwy 96, saying there was barely any safe shoulder, fast drivers & constant semi traffic along with too few stops along the stretch between Newton & Pueblo. I took the advice & rode hwy 50 all the way. Staying at a church(info should be on the maps) in Hutchinson KS, I met two tourists & told them about said advice. I took a rest day & they headed out. As I was leaving, they were coming back to the church, one on crutches. They took 96 & one was hit by a car. Not a broken bone in his body, but damn. TL;DR: Take hwy 50 as opposed to hwy 96 for the stretch between Newton KS & Pueblo CO.

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undogooder

No riser here. The LHT fork I bought had 380mm of length on it, so no need. My buddy bought a stem riser for his back problems & is very happy with it! You also have a great point about sitting more upright relating to awareness of your surroundings. I love being able to sit almost fully upright to get a better vantage point. Definitely get one. I think you'll be happy! Sausage finger edit Edit #2: clarification

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9466336, 2149603, 2063522, 7274037, 2976742, 7687806, 3641006, 5624487, 3281359, 232097, 8867854, 6437851, 331911, 1521693, 597933, 9815819, 1542536, 6926771 ]

undogooder

My first road bike was a [2011]([URL] Defy 1! She was beautiful. Iirc, that was the first year of trickle down tech from Ultegra/Dura Ace & the first year 105 break cables were routed under the grip tape. [This]([URL] is the only pic I still have of her. Being 250lbs. I was surprised how well the radial spokes & overall lack of spokes held up under weight. GREAT starter road bike hands down!

6,164,813

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4036130, 715113, 5454008, 208587, 3570442, 8783321, 534865, 6523017, 8808199, 830754, 8734320, 3289712, 6582809, 9235541 ]

undogooder

When I was in high school(mid 90's), I had this happen to me while playing hacky sack. Freaked me the fuck out! I also popped back into place by straightening my leg, not knowing what else to do. After that, I could no longer sit "Indian Style" and had to switch legs in order to keep playing hacky sack. Fast forward 20 years and my knee crunches when I go up stairs. TL;DR: How pathetic; I injured myself playing hacky sack.

6,164,814

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47

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miatatony

This is a great series to watch to learn about the general process, there are others on the sidebar such as <PERSON> videos that will have more technical information about gun setup. [URL] If I were you though, I would sell the car, or just drive it as is. It just isn't worth the effort, and if you try to repaint it to get more resale value, you very first time painting probably won't be perfect so it might hurt resale value. Unless you plan to keep it for a long time, it just isn't worth the trouble. Even if you just fix the problem areas now, the rest of the car will most likely start to have clearcoat failure.

3,523,456

[ 138 ]

54

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miatatony

I would probably do isolation exercises like chest flys, tricep pulldowns, bicep curls, basically all the smaller muscles that don't get burned out from compound movements in SS. If strength is your only goal then you would probably just be better off only doing SS really heavy and hard 3x a week, but if aesthetics is also a goal, then focusing on specific muscles makes a huge difference, like biceps, triceps, chest, etc.

3,523,457

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195

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miatatony

I recently got an Xbox controller for my PC and I found it way too slippery since I have sweaty hands. I masked off the controller and sprayed about 3-4 wet coats of plastidip. At first it felt really tacky and almost sticky, but after playing with it for an hour or so it feels absolutely perfect now. It's way cheaper and easier than most options out there like after market rubber grips or silicone sleeves, plus it's reversible by just peeling it off.

3,523,458

[ 123, 147, 111, 138, 115 ]

140

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miatatony

it's actually pretty hard to pick off accidentally. I've used it for about a week now and no signed of any edges peeling or lifting. When I purposely peeled the bottom section off I had to really pick at it to create an edge, and even then it takes a decent amount of force to pull on it, sort of like peeling very strong adhesive tape(but without any residue). Of course it would be much better if you just dissassemble the controller and paint the entire panel, but I didn't want to buy the special screw driver for that.

3,523,459

[ 147, 111, 123, 125, 138, 132, 104, 105, 140, 145, 92, 115, 146, 122, 141, 117, 99, 102, 112, 109, 131 ]

253

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miatatony

Definitely try a stronger compound, like Meguiars M105 compound, because the Ultimate compound is fairly mild especially for wet sanding marks. Also based on your pictures, there are still a ton of high spots, I would say spend more time sanding methodically and evenly and going finer than 2000 grit. Spend even more time with the finer 2500 or even 3000 grit wet sanding, that will dramatically reduce how much you have to compound afterwards.

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miatatony

If you use collinite 845 properly (google or wiki it), it is VERY easy to apply, even more so that the over the counter products like meguiars which are inherently made to be user friendly. Not only will it bead up water better than nufinish and last longer, it will add a ridiculous slickness to the paint. ~$20 available online, harder to find in stores depending on where you live. Absolutely worth the money, its a better value than meguiars or nufinish.

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3274493, 1665464, 9839380, 3433216, 566870, 7818712, 6798430, 1092003, 6499798, 3603541, 5828632, 2372370, 6292574, 6368520 ]

miatatony

I just powerwashed and took about 4-5 seconds off my boot to fully load reddit time. I don't know exactly when it started but recently when I enter my password the screen would just go black for about 5-6 seconds, then open into the desktop. After powerwash it's back to normal and immediately goes into the desktop with no weird black screen. It was my first time powerwashing and holy crap, I'm amazed that it only took about 40 seconds to powerwash.

3,523,462

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119

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miatatony

I'm actually researching my own first build right now and mine looks almost exactly the same as yours, same cpu/mobo/case/psu, but with 240gb sandisk SSD from amazon for $70. I've been using the SSD on my current computer and i would say it is totally worth it, especially the 240gb since it's enough to have a few of your most used games, I can cold boot into steam and be matchmaking in rocket league in about a minute. The 128gb fills up really fast, and if you get the same $70 price right now where you are on amazon it's only a little bit more money for a lot more ssd storage.

3,523,463

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53

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miatatony

My philosophy is it's all about the carb/side dish, a tasty side dish will keep you from getting sick of it when cooking in bulk. I love mashed potatoes cuz they taste good, they're easy to make in bulk, and are pretty cheap. Any mashed potato recipe u find online will do. For protein, I always get sick of it anyways, so lately I don't bother getting fancy. Plus I'm a shit cook so I do what's fastest and easiest to cook, which is just sliced chicken breast cooked in a pan with oil/salt/pepper, and then just add BBQ sauce or Ranch and hotsauce on it afterwards in the tuppaware. Careful not to overcook the chicken.

3,523,464

[ 133, 123, 134, 146, 116, 131, 110, 135, 109, 136, 119, 125, 132, 128, 108, 111, 140, 97, 126, 112, 101, 129, 117, 145, 94, 105, 96, 139, 127, 120, 122 ]

221

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