<PERSON>
Did you hear the one about the international assassin who dressed like a tourist, monologued like a blogger, and used cutesy aliases that could be traced by any amateur sleuth?
My dude read a mantra-a-day calendar, bought a book full of dad jokes, and downloaded The Smiths’ Greatest Hits. His neurotic tendencies are interesting on paper, but they’re presented here in such a shallow and pedestrian fashion.
Sure, <PERSON> can direct the hell out of a chase or a fight, but he seems to think himself above simple thrills. So The <PERSON> songs get cut off mid-lyric and the droning narration turns any suspenseful moment into homework. What could have been a satisfying hitman procedural ends up the snarky stepchild of <PERSON> and Killing Them Softly. 417