Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides
Pros:
- The score isn’t half-bad, and it handily accentuates many of the more mystical elements
- There are a few isolated instances where a wistful overtone of rapidly changing times peeks through
- <PERSON>, at the very least, is able to seem like a frightening and ruthless tyrant at times
- Doesn’t feel quite as long as it is (still too long tho)
- <PERSON>
- <PERSON>
- <PERSON>’s final moment is pretty awesome, which leads me to…
Cons:
- …everything before that SUCKS, and most of the returning characters follow suit in feeling completely unrecognizable
- We actually have the third impervius undead army in a ROW
- <PERSON> clearly didn’t care for at least half the movie
- <PERSON>, an amazing actor, gets almost nothing to work with (thanks for that, general male-driven blockbuster genre)
- “Fuck it, let’s make this one about the Fountain of Youth and hardly dwell on anything meaningful”
- Not funny...like, at all
- The last one ended with (Captain) Jack <PERSON> fighting the tentacled demon of the seven seas atop a ship in the middle of a maelstrom after releasing the goddess <PERSON> while armies of sea creatures, pirates, and soldiers battle for all of liberty around them. The biggest thing in this movie is…an exploding lighthouse? For having so much more money thrown at it, this thing is suspiciously and dishearteningly devoid of any passion or intrigue
I really don’t know how I ever liked this 952