I'm going to lose my job
Last night there was an incident at my job and the incident has turned into the final straw for me.
I'm someone who when I make a mistake I feel intensely judged for it.
If I make a mistake on my own and no one sees it I can get over that pretty quickly but when I make mistakes in front of people and there's a lot of eyes on me my anxiety ramps up.
Last night one of my co-workers attempted to use a small dolly to move a large armoire.
I did not think it was going to work, but I've seen him get some large things before by just using the dolly so I gave him the benefit of the doubt. I did suggest that we use the flat moving carts instead of the dolly, but I did not press the issue when he asserted that he was confident in being able to get it with the dolly.
Another co-worker, the man with a dolly, and I were then set to move the furniture to the back room.
We traveled less than probably 10 ft before the armoire tipped over.
I became quite agitated. I was not upset with my co-workers, I was upset because when that happened a lot of customers were looking at us and I was feeling very judged for it.
I said some things which I have already profusely apologized for.
I was scheduled to go into work at noon today but at the time of 9:00 I received a phone call.
My manager told me to not bother coming in today because of my "attitude" yesterday which she was not even present for, and would therefore have only heard anything about completely on hearsay.
Her tendency however to completely believe the worst about me combined with the fact that I'm never allowed to give my side of the story means that I was not even able to give any sort of explanation over the phone.
In fact when she called up she didn't even say what she was talking about. 814
She just said do not bother coming in today because of my behavior, and that either she or HR would be in contact with me on Monday.
There was no asking about what happened. There was no giving me the chance to explain my side of the story.
I have been on the ropes about quitting this job for a while now over how I feel like I've been treated.
This was simply the final straw for me. If the phone call had gone more positively as in if the manager had just asked me to tell her my side of the story, so that way she could have a more complete picture I would have been more than happy to face the music.
One thing I do not ever do is shirk on owning up to my mistakes. I have always taken full responsibility for my actions and behavior.
Even when I know I'm completely in the wrong.
As such I have effectively ended my career at the establishment.
This morning I have applied for a total of so far five different locations.
I know the grass isn't always greener on the other side, but I don't think it can get any worse either. 814