I slowly uncovered my hand and tried to control my tension. The stakes were high, not unreasonably so, but still high enough that I need to win this or the next round or I would out. And broke. Across the table <PERSON> had a face like a glacier, as always. He seemed to be breathing a little bit deeper than usual, though Did he have a good hand, maybe a better one than me? Or was he just feeling how close he was getting too close to the edge of losing again this round? Does he notice my tension? To the left of me, <PERSON>'s eyes darted from left to right, as if unsure about everyone, including himself. Only <PERSON> was relaxed, ogling the waitress like all the time, inquisitively raising an eyebrow at me as he noticed me watching him. He appeared to be care as little about this game as he did about the ongoing divorce from his wife. 417
Admittedly, the only time one has ever remembered <PERSON> getting emotional, even violently raging, was when he has discovered a tiny scratch on his beloved Lincoln Continental.
Note that this has been suggested by <PERSON> already ("focus on the people"). I suspect that this will work well in the "first person perspective", possibly enticing the reader to somewhat identify with the narrator (and his goals and feelings). However, it should also work if told by omniscient third person, albeit with more emotional distance. Note my crude attempts to convey a little bit of insight into the emotional background of the other players, but less than a omniscient observer could provide.
We tried to control <PERSON>, but he was too strong in his rage. I had had no idea that my innocent remark about his divorce would throw him in a frenzy like as if someone had totaled his Lincoln. Suddenly, he collapsed into a weeping pile inside his expensive clothing, and I felt sorry for him - all his wealth and all his luck during the poker match had not protected him from the harsh truth about how deeply he loved his wife.
Yep, even the other players are vulnerable to strong emotions.
This is just meant as an example on how to possibly convey some sort of emotional tension by adding a bit of background and chatterer to the characters. I am no writer, and neither do I recommend to write <PERSON> style (well, I tend to somewhat long sentences but I am still far away from <PERSON>). 86