Skipping details in a scene
I often struggle with details in a scene, and thought maybe I could just skip some of them while trying to keep the scene seamless, but I'm not sure how. This is an example from the scene I'm writing (it's the only scene I've written so far in this story).
"Copy Flight," confirmed <PERSON>, flicking some switches on the main panel. Several of the instrument lights turned blue in response to the remote control handover.
"Sit back and enjoy the flight, <PERSON>. We'll take it from here," finished Flight.
"Thank you Flight, contact soon," responded <PERSON> with a smile. She looked over to <PERSON> who looked back and smiled, then checked the rest of the crew.
...
"Breakfast not sitting too well, hey <PERSON>?" <PERSON> called out. <PERSON> just smiled rigidly and stayed quiet.
<PERSON> looked over to one of the displays on his left. "Throttle up and roll in 5... 4... 3... 2..."
He braced as the shuttle accelerated to beyond Mach 3 and like a slow choreographed dance, began to smoothly roll around until it was on top of the main fuel tank.
I've been quite detailed in the experience of the launch, and so it probably wouldn't seem right to just skip ahead. 627
My gut says to stick it out, since I've been writing at a certain level of detail already but I'm struggling to fill the gaps in.
Update: (for those interested in what I've changed about the writing)
I actually began rewriting the scene using your answers as guidance, and it feels much better. This is not meant to be a "review my story", rather just to show how I did change my perspective on the writing style.
"Main Engines Start", said the Flight Director, then continued to count down. <PERSON> looked over.
"I can't believe you got me in this chair, <PERSON>," he said while shaking his head with a grin.
"Well, you're stuck with me now," she replied without looking at him. She flushed a little, though <PERSON> couldn't see it through the reflection of her helmet.
"Everything's good from here, crew is go for launch," <PERSON> confirmed.
A few seconds later, the countdown ended and with a deafening rumble, the shuttle rose into the air as plumes of water vapour billowed out violently into the surrounding fields.
No more than 30 seconds into the flight, the cabin shook violently and the entire crew grabbed onto their seats. <PERSON> over looked to <PERSON> uneasily.
"Some roughness through second phase, Houston," he said.
"Radar is clear," replied the flight director a few moments later. "All green as far as we can tell."
"Roger that," confirmed <PERSON>, unsure of what to think.
Their nerves calmed as the sky grew darker and darker until they were able to see the faint shimmering of stars littered endlessly across the blackness of space. <PERSON> peered out the window, captivated by the beauty of it.
"I never get used to this," she said.
"You can get lost in it if you stare too long," said <PERSON>, the mission's electrical engineer and secondary pilot.
"Hocus pocus," said <PERSON> in jest.
"Space is bigger than anything we can ever imagine, cap," he replied. "Can do strange things to the mind if you let it."
"Yeah, well here in the real world, we have a shuttle to dock," said <PERSON>.
"Houston, we are coming up on the ISS. Preparing to dock, over," said <PERSON> over comms. "You have the stick, <PERSON>." 417