A Small to Medium Sized Problem
A call comes in…
Me: “Good afternoon, Widgets International, this is LongSufferingSquid.”
Customer: “Hi, I’m was just about to dispense one of your widgets to my client but I can’t fit a medium-sized oscillator into it. The socket is too small.”
Me, more interested in solving the problem than assigning blame: “Oh no! Let’s fix that! What is the serial number of the widget? We’ll send you a replacement but make sure that it fits a medium oscillator.”
Customer: “The serial number is 531f0wn.”
Me: “Thank you! Let me take a moment to set that up.”
I start setting up the replacement order but the customer continues talking…
Customer, aggressively, almost abusively: I can’t believe you guys! This isn’t the first time this has happened! What should I tell my client?! Are you going to pay for her cab fare?!”
Me: “I’m sorry sir, we can’t pay her cab fare, but we do apologize for the inconvenience.”
Customer, rhetorically: “How did this happen?!”
Having had just about enough of this customer’s attitude when I’ve been nothing but helpful I decide sure, why not?, let’s waste some time.
Me, with artificial cheeriness: “How? Oh, certainly, sir! Let me look that up for you!”
But then it got better.
Me: “Hmmm, well sir, looking at the original paperwork it looks like the widget was ordered to fit a small oscillator. And, hmm, given your history of errors we wanted to be sure so we called you and yes, it appears you confirmed this widget was to be used with a small oscillator.”
Customer, muttering petulantly: “I don’t have any small oscillators on hand.”
Me, cloyingly sweet: “Oh, I’m sorry sir! Would you like me to send you some? Or, should I finish setting up the new widget order to fit a medium? I can do both.”
Customer, still muttering: “Just a new widget for a medium, please.”
Me, brightly: “Certainly, sir!” “Okay, sir! You’re set up for a new widget with a medium-sized oscillator socket. 107
Will there be anything else?”
Customer, unhappy about being embarrassed: “No, thank you.”
Me, twisting the knife: “Are you sure, sir? I can send some small oscillators, in addition. We wouldn’t want you to be unprepared in the future, over a silly mistake like this.”
Customer: “No. Thank you.” 107