The Emoji Movie
Did I like this film? Is that a question you really need answered? I have another one that might be more pertinent.
Why?
That's the only statement I can make about this film that lends any kind of examination or question. And not just in the context of why do you need to know my opinion? Also, Why does this thing exist? Why did I watch it? Why am I taking time out of my day, when I have literally three to four thousand other films on this site I could write about, to post a review on this site about a film that I hate? Why am I putting more effort into this review and esoteric crisis of logic than the film makers put into this film? Am I expecting to reveal some great truth that I or others missed about this cheap cash-in of a film? Am I expecting there to be some aspect of film making that will suddenly be revealed through divine means, and that I will then spread to the world like a prophet of old? These are the great questions that this film in its infinite wisdom has chosen for us to grapple with.
Or I am slowly coming to grips with my own insanity, that's always a possibility too.
From the same thought processes that brought you the Lego Movie franchise (though I'm certain the brains behind those thought processes were severely damaged and/or in the grips of psychedelic euphoria when said processes occurred) comes a movie that dares to declare Emoji's to be the pinnacle of human communication. A film that dares to have more product placement in it than a supermarket. Indeed, a by the numbers "be true to yourself" schlock fest that has all the redeeming value of a series of swift and repeated kicks to the genital area. Set in the fictional world of Textopolis, we follow a "Meh" Emoji who tries to express other emotions other than Meh. Oh...and there's a subplot about a kid and his crush and something else there. And <PERSON> gets to tell a lot of poop jokes. 233
Because that's what the gravitas of <PERSON> was missing in all those bad TNG movies: poop jokes.
There's no way that I can really adequately describe the god awful nature of this film. Nothing in it works: from the terrible voice acting to the god awful writing to the subpar animation. But of course, you already knew that. Given it's average rating on this site, most of you agree with me wholeheartedly. Which brings us back to the question:
Why?
Unfortunately I can't answer that...no one can be told what the Why is...you have to see it yourself. However, do not despair, for I can answer the first question. Did I like this film?
No...No I did not. 292