Excuse me but do you have any plastic bags?
In my shop we keep plastic bags behind the cashier counter, where we can see them, because way too many people were stealing them and started being a problem. It's been like this for a few years now, if a customer wants some bags they'll have to ask for it.
Way too many times I see customer approaching my cashier, talking to each other and their conversation goes more or less always like this "can you see the bags?", "I don't see any bags", "how about this one? (pointing at the freezer bags)", "no not this one", "I don't think they have any bags", "damn go see if they have some empty boxes on the shop floor we can take to carry our stuff...".
I stare at them quietly the whole time.
Eventually they acknowledge my existence, and they do it with one of those sentences:
1: "Do you have any bags?"
2: "Damn you don't have any bags here do you?"
SIR THIS IS A BLOODY SUPERMARKET SINCE WHEN DOES A SUPERMARKET NOT HAVE SHOPPING BAGS, HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN A SUPERMARKET THAT DOES NOT HAVE SHOPPING BAGS, HOW CAN YOU THINK A SUPERMARKET DOES NOT HAVE BAGS, OF COURSE WE HAVE BAGS, WE ALWAYS HAVE, ALWAYS, IS IT SO DIFFICULT TO BE A NORMAL PERSON AND ASK "Hello sir, I'll need 1/2 bags for my shopping please", "of course sir, here you go..." SO DIFFICULT?
Sometimes they just stay quiet, defeated by their own stupidity, hardly saying "Hi", and I have to give them a hint, like if it's a puzzle or something "Sir do you need any bags?" "Oh do you have bags?" NO I'M JUST MESSING WE YOU AHAH CARRY YOUR STUPID SHOPPING IN YOUR POCKETS NOW, JUST TELL ME HOW MANY BAGS YOU NEED.
In this ending bit let me just give a shout out to those customers who just stand still and quiet as I scan their whole shopping, then they announce "I'll pay by card", very well, I switch the card machine on for them to pay, they pay, I give them the receipt, wait a bit and then say out loud "I'll need a shopping bag!".
Seriously? You know bags are not free right? Is it so hard to ask that before so that you don't waste everyone's time?
I swear people forget IQ points in their car when they go shopping 866