Con Air
Topping my list of Treadmill Thrillers, behold the Prince of Action-Cheese. It's not a huge hunk of it; it's a cargo-jet fulls of hunks. The cheese is flavored Mullet-Cage, a faux-Southern flavor, made in Italy but packaged as a Southern US spice.
Let's travel back to 1997. Had letterboxd lived then, the Internet bros in those early days would've made this the king. Not the Batman movies, not the Marvels. This one had our attention. You rented it, you bought the VHS, you watched it ad infinitum on your college's in-house movie network. 4.0 average? No, go higher.
We live, though, in 2023. 862
I'm not sure what you are all watching that makes you think this is a 3.4 average. Mulleted <PERSON> looks into the camera, having not learned how any Southern dialect sounds, and says, "don't touch my bunny." You know your action-cheese is sharp when that bunny, being flushed into the sewer, is picked out by the hand of <PERSON>, while hundred-dollar bills drop from the sky. "Speed," by contrast, looks like a <PERSON> episode. <PERSON> weeps.
It might be possible that there are more shots in this than in <PERSON> entire canon combined. The editors had the Herculean task of splicing together three features' worth; notice it took THREE of them to assemble this. At one point, about 75 minutes in, they are intercutting six different storylines at once! And they did it in such a way that any stoned Internet bro in '97 could feel deep love and appreciation for this cheesy piece of cinema junk food. I did forget to say that Mulleted-Cage cheese only comes in Whiz form. You can only spray it straight into your mouth.
Who was more insane? The writer or the director? You are going to add an almost unwatchable fire-engine chase through the Vegas streets after all that came before? I bow to your cinematic madness. 698