NYATI SI LE AKPAA DZI
Nu Ka Tututue Dzɔ Ðe Vihehe Dzi?
Le fe ʋɛ siwo va yi me la, fomegbenɔnɔ trɔ kura le yevudukɔwo me. Tsã la, dzilawo fe gbe dzie ɖeviwo wɔna. Gake le fome aɖewo me egbea la, edze abe ɖeviwo boŋ fe gbe dzie dzilawo va le wɔwɔm ene. Bu kpɔɖeŋu siwo gbɔna ŋu kpɔ, wotu wo ɖe nu siwo dzɔna ŋutɔŋutɔ la dzi.
Esi ŋutsuvi fe-ene-vi aɖe kple dadaa yi fiase aɖe me la, ɖevia do asi ɖa be yeatsɔ fefenu aɖe. Dadaa dze agbagba be yeagbe nɛ hegblɔ be: “Fefenu gbogbo aɖewo le asiwò, alo?” Ðe menya medoa ŋgɔ o, dadaa va kpɔe dze sii be menye nyae wòle be yeabiae hafi o. Ðevia te gbe me tete gblɔ be: “Gake medi eya hã!” Esi dadaa medi be wòagado ɣli ɖe ye ta abe ale si wòwɔna ɖaa ene o ta la, eflee nɛ kpoo.
Nyɔnuvi fe-atɔ̃-vi aɖe fofo nɔ dze ɖom kple ame tsitsi aɖe eye nyɔnuvia gblɔ be: “Miafe dzeɖoɖoa tim, medi be mayi afe me!” Fofoa tso dzeɖoɖoa dzi hebɔbɔ gblɔ ɖe to me nɛ be: “Vinye, esusɔ vie ko míadzo, èsea?”
Wogblɔ le James si xɔ fe 12 ŋu be egado ɣli ɖe efe nufiala ta. Gake James fofo kpɔ dziku ɖe nufialaa boŋ ŋu. James fofo gblɔ nɛ be: “Ðeko wò nufiala ɖe vɔ̃e na wò. Meyina esama ge na sukutatɔwo.”
Kpɔɖeŋu siawo menye nu siwo dzɔ ŋutɔŋutɔ o, gake woate ŋu adzɔ. Woɖe kuxi siwo ŋutɔŋutɔ dze ŋgɔ dzila siwo ɖea mɔ ɖe wo viwo fe amemabumabu ŋu, wɔa vi na wo viwo alo dea wo dzi ne wowɔ nu gbegblẽ la fia. Agbalẽ aɖe (The Narcissism Epidemic) gblɔ be: “Eva le bɔbɔm le ŋkeke siawo me be dzila geɖewo megatea ŋu ɖea gbe na wo viwo o. Gake fe ʋɛ aɖewo koe nye esi va yi la, ɖeviwo nya ame si dze aɖe gbe le afea me, wonyae be menye yewoe o.”
Enye nyatefe be dzila geɖewo dzea agbagba be yewoahe yewo viwo nyuie. Woɖoa kpɔɖeŋu nyui na wo viwo eye wotɔa afɔ to heɖɔa wo ɖo le lɔlɔ̃ me ne ehiã. Abe ale si agbalẽ si me míeyɔ nya tsoe va yi gblɔe ene la, dzila siwo nya viɖe siwo le esia wɔwɔ ŋu la “wɔa nu si to vovo na nu si ame akpa gãtɔ le wɔwɔm.”
Aleke wɔ nuwo va trɔ alea? Nu kae dzɔ ɖe vihehe dzi?
Dzilawo Megatea Ŋu Gbea Nya Na Wo Viwo Tututu O
Ame aɖewo gblɔ be tso fe 1960 fe feawo me kee dzilawo megate ŋu le nya gbem na wo viwo tututu o. Nu si gbɔ wòtsoe nye be agbalẽnyala siwo be yewonya nu tso vihehe ŋu la xlɔ̃a nu dzilawo be wofe asi megasẽ ɖe wo viwo dzi o. Wogblɔna be: ‘Nye wo xɔlɔ̃, mègana woanɔ vɔ̃wòm o.’ ‘Kafukafu nyo wu tohehe.’ ‘Mègagbe nya na viwòwo o, ke boŋ nɔ wo kafum ne wowɔ nu nyui.’ Ehiã be dzilawo nada asɔ le wo viwo kafukafu kple tohehe na wo me ya, gake agbalẽnyala siawo fe nyawo ɖee fia be tohehe na ɖeviwo ate ŋu agblẽ nu le wofe seselelãme ŋu eye wòana woava lé fu wo dzilawo ne wotsi.
Le ema megbe kpuie la, agbalẽnyalaawo ke gava le boblo domee be ele be woana ɖeviwo nase le wo ɖokuiwo me be ame veviwoe yewonye. Ðeko wòdze abe ɖe wova ke ɖe vihemɔnu nyuitɔ kekeake ŋu zi ɖeka ene, eyae nye be: Na viwòwo nakpɔe be ame veviwoe yewonye. Ele eme baa be ele be dzilawo nana wo viwo nakpɔe be asixɔxɔ le yewo ŋu ya. Gake ame siwo doa boblo susu si nye be ele be woana ɖeviwo nase le wo ɖokuiwo me be ame veviwoe yewonye la ya tɔ gagbɔ eme. Agbalẽnyala siawo gblɔna na dzilawo be: ‘Miganɔ nya siwo ado dziku na ɖeviawo abe “Ao” alo “Mègawɔe O” ene gblɔm na wo o. Minɔ gbɔgblɔm na wo be woxɔ asi ŋutɔ eye woate ŋu awɔ nu sia nu si wodi.’ Ðeko wòva le abe sese le ame ɖokui me be yenye ame vevi va le vevie na wo wu be woanye ame vevi ŋutɔŋutɔ ene.
Esia na be ame aɖewo va fo nya ta be ame siwo doa bobloe be ele be woana ɖeviwo nase le wo ɖokuiwo me be ame veviwoe yewonye la na be ɖeviwo va bua wo ɖokuiwo amegãwoe, eye wobunɛ be ele be woawɔ nu sia nu na yewo. Agbalẽ aɖe gblɔ be: “Esia wɔe be ŋutete si hiã be woado dzi atsɔ nyaheɖeameŋu kple dzidzedzemakpɔmakpɔ siwo doa mo ɖa godoo le agbe me la mesua wo si o.” (Generation Me) Vifofo aɖe fe nya si woyɔ le agbalẽ ma me gblɔ be: “Amebubu ame vevii fe nya aɖeke mele dɔwɔfewo o. . . . Ne èŋlɔ nyatakaka aɖe si mede o le dɔwɔfe la, wò dɔtɔ makafu wò be, ‘Ee, agbalẽ si dzi nèŋlɔ nua ɖo la nya kpɔ ŋutɔ’ o. Ðeviwo hehe alea menye nu nyui aɖeke kura wɔwɔ na wo o.”
Amewo Ƒe Susu Le Tɔtrɔm
Le fe geɖe siwo va yi me la, ale si amegbetɔwo fe susuwo trɔna nue vihehe fe mɔnuwo hã trɔna ɖo zi geɖe. Agbalẽnyala Ronald G. Morrish gblɔ be: “Vihehe fe mɔnuwo le tɔtrɔ dzi ɖaa. Ne amewo fe nɔnɔme trɔ ko la, vihehe fe mɔnuwo hã trɔna ɖe enu.” * Eya ta abe ale si Biblia gblɔe ene la, ele bɔbɔe be “nufiafia fe ya sia ya” nanɔ dzilawo fom anɔ yiyim anɔ gbɔgbɔm.
Edze fãa be ale si dzilawo wɔa vi na wo viwo la le nu gblẽm. Esia na be dzilawo megatea ŋu zãa wofe ŋusẽ o, eye le ɖeviawo hã gome la, mɔfiame siwo akpe ɖe wo ŋuti be woawɔ tiatia nyuiwo eye kakaɖedzi ŋutɔŋutɔ nanɔ wo si woatsɔ akpe akɔ kple agbemenyawo la mesua wo si o.
Ðe vihemɔnu aɖe li si nyo wua?
^ mm. 15 Míawoe bi nya aɖewo; woɖee tso Secrets of Discipline: 12 Keys for Raising Responsible Children me.
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