LUGWASYO KUMUKWASYI | CIKWATI
Mbomukonzya Kutondezya Bulemu
BUYUMUYUMU
Mulumi wakaamba kuti: “Notwakakwatana, mebo amukaintu wangu twakajisi mizeezo iindene kujatikizya ncocaamba kutondezya bulemu. Ikutali kuti muzeezo umwi wakali kabotu mpoonya umwi tiiwakali kabotu—pele yakaindene buyo. Kanji-kanji ndakali kulimvwa kuti mukaintu wangu wakeelede kundilemeka kapati kujatikizya mbwaakali kwaambaula kulindime.”
Mukaintu wakaamba kuti: “Kubusena nkondakakomenena cakali cilengwa buya kwaambaula cakupozomoka, kucinca-cinca kubusyu, alimwi akubanjila mukanwa ciindi bamwi nobakali kwaambaula. Tiitwakali kubona kuti kucita boobu nkubula bulemu. Pele oobu tabusyi mbocibede kubusena nkobakakomenena balumi bangu.”
Bulemu mucikwati tacili cintu cakutondezya buyo zimwi ziindi; ncintu ciyandika lyoonse. Ino inga mwatondezya buti kuti mulamulemeka ngomukwetene limwi?
NCOMWEELEDE KUZYIBA
Baalumi balayanda kulemekwa kapati. Ibbaibbele lyaambila bamalumi kuti: “Umwi aumwi wanu weelede kuyanda mukaintu wakwe mbubonya mbwaliyanda mwini.” Pele alimwi lilayungizya akuti: “Mukaintu awalo weelede kumulemeka kapati mulumaakwe.” (Baefeso 5:33) Bamakaintu alimwi abamalumi boonse beelede kulimvwa kuti balayandwa alimwi akulemekwa, pele bamalumi balakukkomanina kapati kulemekwa. Mulumi umwi wazina lya Carlos * wakaamba kuti: “Bamalumi bayanda kulimvwa kuti balakonzya kucita zintu, kumana mapenzi, alimwi akulanganya mukwasyi.” Ikuti mukaintu kamulemeka mulumaakwe akaambo kakucita zintu eezyi, takkomanisyi buyo mulumaakwe pele awalo ulakkomana. Mukaintu wazina lya Corrine wakaamba kuti: “Balumi bangu balatondezya kuti balandiyanda kapati kuti naa ndatondezya kuti ndilabalemeka.”
Pele bamakaintu abalo balayanda kulemekwa. Kaambo aaka nkamasimpe nkaambo mulumi takonzyi kuyanda mukaintu ngwatalemeki. Ba Daniel bakaamba kuti: “Ndeelede kwiilemeka mizeezo yamukaintu wangu. Alimwi ndeelede kulemeka mbwalimvwa. Kutamvwisya kaambo ncalimvwa munzila imwi tacaambi kuti ndeelede kutabikkila maano kujatikizya mbwalimvwa.”
Bantu baliindene mbobabubona bulemu. Kufwumbwa naa muyeeya kuti mulatondezya bulemu, pele kaambo nkakuti sena ngomukwetene limwi ulimvwa kuti ulalemekwa? Aaka nkakaambo nkaakaiya mukaintu iwaambwa kumatalikilo aacibalo eeci ansi aakatwe kakuti “Buyumuyumu.” “Nokuba kuti tiindakazyi kuti zintu nzyondakali kucita zyakali kutondezya kubula bulemu, pele kuti naa ndakali kupa balumi bangu kulimvwa kutalemekwa, nkokuti ndime ndakeelede kucinca.”
NCOMUKONZYA KUCITA
Amulembe zintu zyotatwe nzyomukkomanina kujatikizya mulumi wanu naa mukaintu wanu. Bube bubotu mbomukonzya kujana bulakonzya kuba ntalisyo yakutondezya bulemu.
Kwansondo yomwe, amububikkile maano bukkale bwanu (kutali bukkale bwangomukwetene limwi) mumbazu eezyi zitobela.
Majwi aanu. Buvwuntauzi bumwi ibujatikizya banabukwetene bwakaamba kuti “banabukwetene ibakkomene muzikwati zyabo, izitazungaani, bakajisi zintu zibotu zinji zyakwaamba kwiinda zitali kabotu kujatikizya ngobakwetene limwi ciindi nobakali kubandika penzi ndyobakajisi. Mukwiimpana, banabukwetene ibalangilwa kulekana bakaamba buyo zintu zisyoonto zibotu kujatikizya ngobakwetene limwi.” *—Njiisyo yamu Bbaibbele: Tusimpi 12:18.
Amulibuzye kuti: ‘Sena ndilaambaula camulemu kuli ngotukwetene limwi? Ino nzinji buti ziindi nzyondimutongooka ngondikwetene limwi alimwi aziindi nzyondimulumbaizya? Ino jwi lyangu inga lilimvwisya buti kuti kandijisi kaambo kakutongooka?’ Sena ngomukwetene limwi ulakonzya kubuzumina bwiinguzi bwanu?—Njiisyo yamu Bbaibbele: Bakolose 3:13.
Amusole nzila eeyi: Amube aambaakani yakulumbaizya mulumi wanu naa mukaintu wanu abuzuba. Muzeezo: Amulange alimwi bube bubotu bumukkomanisya mbomwalemba kumatalikilo. Amube acilengwa cakwaambila ngomukwetene limwi kujatikizya bube mbomukkomanina kulinguwe.—Njiisyo yamu Bbaibbele: 1 Bakorinto 8:1.
Nzyomucita. Mukaintu wazina lya Alicia wakaamba kuti: “Ndilatola ciindi cinji kubeleka milimo yaaŋanda, alimwi ciindi balumi bangu nobabikkila maano kusolokesya kwangu kwiinda mukugwisya zintu nzyobabelesya naa kundigwasya kusanzya mbale, ndilimvwa kuti kusolekesya kwangu takuli kwabuyo alimwi akuti ndilayandika kapati mucikwati.”
Amulibuzye kuti: ‘Sena mbondimweendelezya ngotukwetene limwi citondezya kuti ndilamulemeka? Sena ndilajana ciindi cinji cakuba antoomwe angotukwetene limwi alimwi akumubikkila maano?’ Sena ngomukwetene limwi ulakonzya kubuzumina bwiinguzi bwanu?
Amusole nzila eeyi: Amulembe nzila zyotatwe nzyomuyanda kuti kamutondezyegwa bulemu. Awalo ngomukwetene limwi acite mbubwenya. Mpoonya amucincane tupepa ntomwalemba kutegwa umwi aumwi akonzye kutondezya bulemu mumbazu eezyo zyalembwa. Amubikkile maano mumbazu nywebo momuyandika kutondezya bulemu. Ikuti uumwi wataanguna kutalika kutondezya bulemu, aumbi ulalangilwa kucita mbubwenya.
^ munc. 8 Mazina aamwi mucibalo eeci acincwa.
^ munc. 14 Kuzwa mubbuku lyakuti Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage.
Amwiiye Zinji
MULAKONZYA KUKKOMANA MUMUKWASYI WANU
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