title:  Trump Just Got Ripped To F*cking Shreds After Telling Americans To Believe Putin Again (TWEETS)
text: Between Trump s daily tantrums before I ve even had my goddamn coffee and White Power Barbie, Tomi Lahren s, surprisingly hilarious meltdown over someone finding her old tweets about the moisture levels of her vagina (something about drowning?), one thing is for certain: While Trump s America is going to more resemble a gasoline-soaked kitten fire than a legitimate political regime, we re going to have plenty of laughs for the next four years   at least until our nation utter its final, agonized  mew. Trump s  FAKE NEWS  Twitter tantrum stretched into yet another day on Friday. It now turns out that the phony allegations against me were put together by my political opponents and a failed spy afraid of being sued .  Trump tweeted with his trademark extra-long ellipsis indicating that Part Deux will be coming sometime in the next year or so.It now turns out that the phony allegations against me were put together by my political opponents and a failed spy afraid of being sued .  Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) January 13, 2017It has always been clear that the information came from a former British intelligence operative who currently does opposition research but this is apparently new information to Trump, who (six minutes later) jumped to the  but Daddy Putin says  defense.Totally made up facts by sleazebag political operatives, both Democrats and Republicans   FAKE NEWS! Russia says nothing exists. Probably  Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) January 13, 2017Russia has, indeed, said they have nothing on the man for whom their leader ordered an aggressive propaganda and fake news campaign as well as a far-reaching hack of Donald Trump s political opponents in what seventeen intelligence agencies agree was part of a plot to install The Donald in the White House. They also say that the Kremlin does not engage in spying, so we totally know that is true.Five minutes later, he indicated that intelligence agencies knowingly released false information to attack him because he s a poor tortured widdle guy everyone s out to get and the world looks so unfair from the top of his golden tower:released by "Intelligence" even knowing there is no proof, and never will be. My people will have a full report on hacking within 90 days!  Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) January 13, 2017Six minutes later, it was time for Trump s favorite activity: questioning the legitimacy of political candidates:What are Hillary Clinton's people complaining about with respect to the F.B.I. Based on the information they had she should never ..  Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) January 13, 2017have been allowed to run   guilty as hell. They were VERY nice to her. She lost because she campaigned in the wrong states   no enthusiasm!  Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) January 13, 2017 What Hillary Clinton s people are complaining about  is that FBI Director James Comey broke precedent and used his position to interfere in the election in a clear effort to aid Trump multiple times.And then, having spewed a literal pile of garbage, Trump decided it was over. He had won. Our hero boldly declared that:The "Unaffordable" Care Act will soon be history!  Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) January 13, 2017And the crowd went wild   or at least that s the way it looks inside Trump s rather deranged mind. The rest of the world just mocked him:@realDonaldTrump speaking of phony allegations, remember when you said Obama was born in Kenya?  Ken Klippenstein (@kenklippenstein) January 13, 2017@realDonaldTrump dude you picked the head of Breitbart to be your chief strategist you love fake news  Ken Klippenstein (@kenklippenstein) January 13, 2017@realDonaldTrump Still using the  If Russia says it s true, it must be true!  defense? I don t think Americans find it too convincing.  MatthewDicks (@MatthewDicks) January 13, 2017@realDonaldTrump here we go. "Russia says "  Liz Garbus (@lizgarbus) January 13, 2017@realDonaldTrump all you talk about is Russia anymore! pic.twitter.com/KXEz06Wgl0  Jordan Uhl (@JordanUhl) January 13, 2017@realdonaldtrump Exactly  and what possible reason would Russia have to say they re not blackmailing you, Donald?  Dan Howdle (@DanHowdle) January 13, 2017@realDonaldTrump Are you having difficulty squeezing out the morning turd? Would it help if someone came and peed on you?  Elliott Lusztig (@ezlusztig) January 13, 2017@realDonaldTrump I bet you can t wait to see what the FBI have got on you. Also: she got 3m more votes than you but hey ho.  Emma Kennedy (@EmmaKennedy) January 13, 2017@realdonaldtrump She didn t have a hostile foreign superpower on her side either  pretty sure she s kicking herself about that one, Donald.  Dan Howdle (@DanHowdle) January 13, 2017@realDonaldTrump Rage-tweeting in the middle of the night is beneath the office of the president. Put down the cocaine and get some sleep.  Mikel Jollett (@Mikel_Jollett) January 13, 2017@realDonaldTrump if you think Clinton's "guilty as hell", then why'd you abandon your pledge to appoint a special prosecutor for her?  Ken Klippenstein (@kenklippenstein) January 13, 2017.@realDonaldTrump She had a point pic.twitter.com/rPeXh8PjFt  Simon Hedlin (@simonhedlin) January 13, 2017@realDonaldTrump FYI you tweet like this woman has you waking up in a cold sweat every day at 5am  Maria Mora (@MariaMelee) January 13, 2017Now you re probably wondering what Trump is distracting from? Maybe it s an old Howard Stern recording in which someone reminds him that he says he likes to go to Russia to have sex with women because they  have no morals. That s pretty interesting considering the current situation, but it s probably the recent bombshell report by a BBC correspondent that there are at least four sources for what Trump is calling fake news. According to Paul Wood in a recent op-ed:Claims about a Russian blackmail tape were made in one of a series of reports written by a former British intelligence agent. As a member of MI6, he had been posted to the UK s embassy in Moscow and now runs a consultancy giving advice on doing business in Russia. He spoke to a number of his old contacts in the FSB, the successor to the KGB, paying some of them for information. .The former MI6 agent is not the only source for the claim about Russian kompromat on the president-elect. Back in August, a retired spy told me he had been informed of its existence by  the head of an East European intelligence agency .Later, I used an intermediary to pass some questions to active duty CIA officers dealing with the case file  they would not speak to me directly. I got a message back that there was  more than one tape ,  audio and video , on  more than one date , in  more than one place  in the Ritz-Carlton in Moscow and also in St Petersburg  and that the material was  of a sexual nature . The claims of Russian kompromat on Mr Trump were  credible , the CIA believed. .Last April, the CIA director was shown intelligence that worried him. It was  allegedly  a tape recording of a conversation about money from the Kremlin going into the US presidential campaign.It was passed to the US by an intelligence agency of one of the Baltic States.The CIA cannot act domestically against American citizens so a joint counter-intelligence taskforce was created .A lawyer  outside the Department of Justice but familiar with the case  told me that three of Mr Trump s associates were the subject of the inquiry.  But it s clear this is about Trump,  he said.Audio. And. Video.Trump spent well over a half hour attacking Hillary Clinton and screaming about how the Kremlin is right. He did this a week before he officially becomes President. Is this what it s going to be like for the next four years?Featured image via Getty Images (Scott Olson)/screengrab