title: news democracy win volunteers across the country are oiling up the sidewalks to help voters slide uncontrollably to their polling place
text: how much of a political junkie are you posted today sure you might think youre hot stuff by being able to name one of the presidential candidates but can you attain true politicaljunkie status find out below  check off every behavior that describes you in between elections i just stay in the voting booth i put a penny in a jar every time i think about congress as electoral college results come in i like to bruise or burn the states in the map of america tattooed on my chest i know all nine issues including environment big fiscals fighting the lantern question and shipping glue overseas i spent my college summer vacations camped out on the washington mall just in case i could hear any laws being yelled about i love looking at election maps and imagining what theyd look like back in the pangea days i am always looking high and low for politics i describe google as the website that takes you to polticocom i am fifth in the line of presidential succession my idea of a fun friday night is filling a bathtub with warm maple syrup and feathers to give myself a big mess to clean up while i think about politics i can name any senator from the past three decades and i can tell you whether or not they have an outie belly button wolf blitzer is near me i have an unopened case of paul ryans old energy drink konkrete kik i wouldnt tell americas enemies how many electoral votes maryland has even if i were being tortured every four years for three months people avoid me like the plague get results results for how much of a political junkie are you you are an outofcontrol borderline psychotic political junkie youre clearly so obsessed with politics that when you see the cnn breaking news bumper your whole body convulses in dry silent nearorgasm sorry this election is about to be over because you need this bullshit to live share your results