title:  If This Missouri Senate Candidate Is For Real, He’s A Real Subhuman Scumbag
text: Add this name to the list of people you ve never heard of, but are about to: Courtland Sykes.The Missouri Republican is a Navy Veteran, an impossibly good looking model-type, and a misogynist pig who s stuck in the early 1950 s. He s also running for the United States Senate in an uphill challenge against Democrat Claire McCaskill.The problem is, since he announced his run at the Senate, nobody s sat him down for an interview. He has, however, released a headshot to reporters, along with an interview-style, 11-page document that outlines some of his positions:He also addressed whether he favored women s rights, in a way that beggars belief: Chanel (Rion), my fiancee, has given me orders to favor these rights, so I d better. But Chanel knows that my obedience comes with a small price that she loves to pay anyway   I want to come home to a home-cooked dinner at six every night, one that she fixes.It s exactly the kind of family dinner that I expect one day my future daughters will learn to make after they too become traditional homemakers and family wives   think Norman Rockwell here   and Gloria Steinham be damned. Now, I m not sure if Sykes is aware of Rockwell s liberalism after he began seeing a psychotherapist for his severe depression (likely brought on by the fact that his art was hijacked by Cold War politics), but he should probably check out some of Norman s later work before he starts citing him as an influence,   la Saturday Evening Post.That headshot, though:Oh, I ve already Google reverse image-searched it. I ve been through his whole Facebook profile, and it appears to be legit. He even has pictures with his mom from when he was younger.It s not that I don t believe that Courtland Sykes is a real person. I just have a hard time believing this guy is for real.Featured image via Facebook