title: life finding common ground this white man and this muslim woman both have trump painted on their garages
text: email jane goodall has dedicated her life to studying primates and the insights she has gained into our evolutionary ancestors are truly powerful prepare to have your breath taken away by dr goodalls words 
   chimps will betray their own to get their hands on italian food as with all chimps the ones i studied in gombe were absolutely obsessed with italian food and would go to extraordinary lengths to get their hands on some one day the troops alpha male whom i called goliath managed to acquire a plate of linguine humphrey a younger male saw goliaths linguine and became incredibly jealous he offered to give goliath his most prized possessiona vacant hornet nest that he enjoyed having sex within exchange for the linguine but goliath declined as he already had a hornet nest of his own desperate to eat the linguine humphrey threw some pebbles to divert goliaths attention then snuck up behind him and ripped his head off allowing him to take the italian food from his superior it was a gruesome yet utterly fascinating scene 
   when chimpanzee communities encounter a japanese researcher they will try to put them in jail my colleague dr kiyoshi yamamoto discovered this when chimps dragged him from his tent in the middle of the night down to the local prison the apes would then approach the towns sheriff with their hands out expecting a food reward it was truly shocking to learn that chimpanzees are capable of such things nature is not always pretty 
   most chimps can vocalize the phrase oh no they like to yell it while they defecate  chimps dont like it when you blow up one of their family members with a grenade one of my young researchers sofia manfredi discovered this after rolling an active grenade into a ditch where several male siblings were sharing a lunch of termites and soup the grenade exploded the youngest one into a red mist of viscera and bone and curiously the other brothers seemed to become rather disheartened 
   chimps revere hippos when they become aware of a hippo in the vicinity chimps stop whatever theyre doing and take turns honoring the beast they bring offerings of plump salamanders crushed soda cans and other treasures theyve found in the dirt and they join together in an angelic chorus of growls to soothe the hippo new mothers will rub their infants against the hippos groin to bless them with his virility the troops elders will break off their incisors with a rock and fashion a crude crown of teeth for the hippo to wear if the hippo becomes aggressive towards them they do not resist in fact it is an honor for them to be crushed by the hippo and they will often place their heads on the ground next to his hooves in hopes that he might accidentally stomp their skulls flat 
   if a chimp dunks its head into a bucket of horchata for an hour it will die whenever chimps discover a large pail of horchata in the forest the eldest female of the group will approach it and slowly lower her head into the liquid remaining there for an hour or more until another chimp yanks her out of it it was fascinating to observe the way their social structure altered afterwards with the next eldest female unfailingly rising up to lead the groups children in licking the sweet rice milk from their deceased matriarchs body