title:  Ted Cruz Ends His Campaign By Elbowing His Wife In The Face (VIDEO)
text: In case you haven t heard, God s chosen candidate, Ted Cruz, either disproved God s existence or showed the world that the Big-Guy-in-the-Sky REALLY hates smarmy, bigoted douchebags. Yes, the embarrassment to America that was Ted Cruz s campaign is finally over. Fate swallowed his chances up like that throat booger he ate on national television during a debate. You can all rest assured knowing that the Republican Party s destruction is finally complete in that Donald Trump is considered the most qualified candidate for the office of President.What better way to end his presidential campaign than to elbow his wife in the face? You may be staring at your screen wondering,  Did he just say what I think he said?  Yes, by punching and elbowing his wife in the face. While it was almost assuredly as much an accident as abstinence-only advocate Bristol Palin s multiple out-of-wedlock pregnancies, it actually happened.Still don t believe me? Watch:As Cruz was hugging his father, while his bigoted, homophobic, and hateful supporters looked on, the now-former presidential candidate accidentally did what most of America wants to do to him: he accidentally popped Heidi in the jaw then followed up with an elbow to the face.His campaign, which was built on catering to the absolute worst people in society s hatred and stupidity (the ones Trump had not already snagged up anyway), was truly an embarrassment to our nation   almost as embarrassing as the fact that his own daughter hates him just as much as the rest of us.But what will Cruz do now? Will he commit himself to the Senate, where he can continue to attempt to install a theofascist regime in America and fight diligently to take away the rights of anyone he thinks God tells him to hate? Will he come to terms with the fact that he, as the candidate he himself has stated God  chose  to lead America into the Promised Land, probably isn t the super-Christian he thinks he is? Will he continue his alleged career as the Zodiac Killer?No matter what Cruz does, one thing is for certain: he s probably going to spend some time in the  dog house  rather than the White House.Featured image via screengrab