title:  Texas Pastor Explains How She Can ‘Move Clouds’ – And How You Can Perform Miracles Too (VIDEO)
text: Texas Christian Pastor Cindy Jacobs stood in front of her Trinity Church congregation in Cedar Hill, Texas, this month and described how she literally  moved clouds  and performed other miracles like  preventing typhoon flooding.  Really? You don t say? We re listening   teach us, Sensei.But, all kidding aside (okay   no kidding aside) if this is true, we really wouldn t mind knowing her secret. Here s how she says you can move clouds, too: Just read the Book! So I did, I just put my hands up, and Mike had the word that I should pray that the clouds dissipate.Did I get it right this time? yay! So, I lifted my hands and I said these simple words,  In the name of Jesus, I command this cloud layer to dissipate.  Now didn t that seem weird? You know what happened? Within a half an hour, no more clouds! Amen! Okay, so, in case  cloud moving  is not your thing, maybe you d rather get rid of typhoon flooding instead. If so, Pastor Jacobs has you covered there, as well: And so we said,  In the name of Jesus, we command the flooding to stop, the river to stop flooding and the streets to dry up!  You know what happened? In one hour, one hour, it stopped and I told them, prepare the van because we re going! It looks like anything is possible with Jesus. Maybe we can try this theory out with child hunger? Might as well give it a shot. Let s try it now: In the name of Jesus, we command child hunger be gone! Be gone with you! Did it work? I guess we ll find out here in an hour or so. Let s be patient.Let s not stop there. There are a few other miracles worth performing: In the name of Jesus, we command you, diseases, be gone! Be gone with you horrible diseases! Now!We re hoping this pastor isn t full of shit, really. Why? Because we d also like to win the lottery. One more time: We command you, lottery, give us the winning numbers! That s an order!And, God saw everything that he had made, and, behold, it was very good.Featured image via screen capture