title: life inspiring this young girl still gets to dream of being the first female president
text: email 
  well here we are gang 
  this morning america woke up and found wed elected as president an overgrown bully a huckster without a drop of decency in his pizzadough body how the heck did we get here ill bet you wondered what the heck happened well theres a lot we dont know yet about this election but ill tell you this maybe you shouldnt have made fun of my exclamation point 
  yeah remember the exclamation point the big n red mark plopped next to my serifedup name like a trout on the counter we put that logo out and you people laughed oh how you laughed hey looks like ol wonder bread jebs trying to squeeze some enthusiasm out of his limp little campaign you think i didnt hear you you think i didnt see what you wrote of course i did the taunts the memes the novelty twitter handles typed with a sneer i saw all of it and it hurt me it hurt jeb 
  you turned me and my exclamation mark into a big dippy joke and look what it got you dread defeat humiliation feel that despair in your gut today and now imagine if you had jeb in your life right now splashed across every tv and touchscreen hey theres some punctuation thatd put pep in your step but nope the guy who sticks his neck out to make electoral politics just a keystroke more exciting gets ribbed roasted raked over the coals and hung out to dry 
  look i wasnt a perfect candidate i know that but that doesnt mean you had to steer this country straight into a xenophobic hellhole 
  that exclamation point was plain fun it stood out from the pack it even looked nice on a tshirt or a coozy you made a huge mistake the moment you collectively decided to rip my exclamation point to shreds 
  i was up all night coming up with it you know that  was a john ellis bush original id already tried out a question mark too uncertain an ellipsis too ambiguous even two exclamation points too forceful so when i hit on the idea of an exclamation point i really thought i had something special i was so excited to share my excitement with you turns out i might as well have slapped my thick pink matte dick into my hand and waggled it all over facebook live like a dang date palm frond for all the love you gave me 
  look i wasnt a perfect candidate i know that but that doesnt mean you had to steer this country straight into a xenophobic hellhole all you had to do was be nice about that exclamation point for a few months but you couldnt leave it alone could you you just could not resist having a good old laugh well take a look around and tell me what you see a divided nation headed for the falls with a dipshit at the helm belting out one last drunken shanty before it all goes to chunks and splinters you bullies deserve it all 
  goodbye america i would have been delightful