Pretty funny.
PL
 
-----Original Message-----
From: Espey, Darren 
Sent: Tuesday, January 15, 2002 9:04 AM
To: 'jroyed@ev1.net'; Clause, Kristen; Hungerford, James; Love, Phillip M.; Thibaut, Dan; Schrab, Mark L.; Lenart, Kirk; Brady, Kevin; Worthing, Ashley; Fowler, Kulvinder
Cc: 'etaylor@giveblood.org'
Subject: FW: Fw: Fw: Fw: Very Fine Idea


> > Ever wondered what it would be 
>like if Dear Abby were a man? 
> 
> > > > > > 
> 
> > > > > > Life could be 
>so much simpler (for everyone)! 
> 
> > > > > > 
> 
> > > > > > 
> 
> > > > > > Dear Mr. 
>Abby: 
> 
> > > > > > Q: My husband 
>wants a threesome with my best friend and me. 
> 
> > > > > > 
> 
> > > > > > A: Obviously 
>your husband cannot get enough of you! Knowing 
> 
> > > > that there 
> 
> > > > is 
> 
> > > > > > only one of 
>you he can only settle for the next best thing -- 
> 
> > > > your best 
> 
> > > > > > friend. Far 
>from being an issue, this can bring you closer 
> 
> > > > together. 
> 
> > > > Why 
> 
> > > > > > not get some 
>of your old college roommates involved too? If you 
> 
> > > > are 
> 
> > > > still 
> 
> > > > > > apprehensive, 
>maybe you should let him be with your friends 
> 
> > > > without 
> 
> > > > you. 
> 
> > > > > If 
> 
> > > > > > 
> 
> > > > > > you're still 
>not sure then just perform oral sex on him and 
> 
> > > > cook him a 
> 
> > > > > nice 
> 
> > > > > > meal while 
>you think about it. 
> 
> > > > > > 
> 
> > > > > > 
> 
> > > > > > Dear Mr. 
>Abby: 
> 
> > > > > > Q: My husband 
>continually asks me to perform oral sex on him. 
> 
> > > > > > 
> 
> > > > > > A: Do it. 
>Sperm can help you lose weight and gives a great glow 
> 
> > > > to your 
> 
> > > > > > skin. 
>Interestingly, men know this. His offer to allow you 
>to 
> 
> > > > perform 
> 
> > > > oral 
> 
> > > > > > sex on him is 
>totally selfless. This shows he loves you. The 
> 
> > > > best 
> 
> > > > thing 
> 
> > > > > to 
> 
> > > > > > do is to 
>thank him by performing it twice a day, then cook him 
> 
> > > > a nice 
> 
> > > > > meal. 
> 
> > > > > > 
> 
> > > > > > 
> 
> > > > > > Dear Mr. 
>Abby: 
> 
> > > > > > Q: My husband 
>has too many nights out with the boys. 
> 
> > > > > > 
> 
> > > > > > A: This is 
>perfectly natural behavior and it should be 
> 
> > > > encouraged. The 
> 
> > > > > man 
> 
> > > > > > is a hunter 
>and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. 
> 
> > > > A night 
> 
> > > > out 
> 
> > > > > > chasing young 
>single girls is a great stress relief and can 
> 
> > > > foster a 
> 
> > > > more 
> 
> > > > > > peaceful and 
>relaxing home. Remember, nothing can rekindle 
> 
> > > > your 
> 
> > > > > relationship 
> 
> > > > > > 
> 
> > > > > > better than 
>the man being away for a day or two (it's a great 
> 
> > > > time to 
> 
> > > > > clean 
> 
> > > > > > the house 
>too)! Just look at how emotional and happy he is when 
> 
> > > > he 
> 
> > > > returns 
> 
> > > > > > to his stable 
>home. The best thing to do when he gets home is 
> 
> > > > for you 
> 
> > > > and 
> 
> > > > > > your best 
>friend to perform oral sex on him. Then cook him a 
> 
> > > > nice 
> 
> > > > meal. 
> 
> > > > > > 
> 
> > > > > > 
> 
> > > > > > Dear Mr. 
>Abby: 
> 
> > > > > > Q: My husband 
>doesn't know where my clitoris is. 
> 
> > > > > > 
> 
> > > > > > A: Your 
>clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must 
> 
> 
> > > > mess 
> 
> > > > with 
> 
> > > > > it, 
> 
> > > > > > 
> 
> > > > > > do it in your 
>own time or ask your best friend to help. You 
> 
> > > > may wish 
> 
> > > > to 
> 
> > > > > > videotape 
>yourself while doing this, and present it to your 
> 
> > > > husband as 
> 
> > > > a 
> 
> > > > > > birthday 
>gift. To ease your selfish guilt, perform oral sex on 
> 
> > > > him and 
> 
> > > > > cook 
> 
> > > > > > 
> 
> > > > > > him a 
>delicious meal. 
> 
> > > > > > 
> 
> > > > > > 
> 
> > > > > > Dear Mr. 
>Abby: 
> 
> > > > > > Q: My husband 
>is uninterested in foreplay. 
> 
> > > > > > 
> 
> > > > > > A: You are a 
>bad person for bringing it up and should seek 
> 
> > > > sensitivity 
> 
> > > > > > training. 
>Foreplay to a man is very stressful and time 
> 
> > > > consuming. Sex 
> 
> > > > > > should be 
>available to your husband on demand with no pesky 
> 
> > > > requests 
> 
> > > > for 
> 
> > > > > > foreplay. 
>What this means is that you do not love your man as 
> 
> > > > much as 
> 
> > > > you 
> 
> > > > > > should -- he 
>should never have to work to get you in the mood. 
> 
> > > > Stop 
> 
> > > > being 
> 
> > > > > so 
> 
> > > > > > 
> 
> > > > > > selfish! 
>Perhaps you can make it up to him by performing oral 
> 
> > > > sex on 
> 
> > > > him 
> 
> > > > > > and cook him 
>a nice meal. 
> 
> > > > > > 
> 
> > > > > > 
> 
> > > > > > Dear Mr. 
>Abby: 
> 
> > > > > > Q: My husband 
>always has an orgasm then rolls over and goes to 
> 
> > > > sleep 
> 
> > > > never 
> 
> > > > > > giving me 
>one. 
> 
> > > > > > 
> 
> > > > > > A: I'm not 
>sure I understand the problem. Perhaps you've 
> 
> > > > forgotten to 
> 
> > > > cook 
> 
> > > > > > him a nice 
>meal. 
> 
> > 
> 
> 
> 

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