-----Original Message-----
From: Yee, Colin
Sent: Friday, January 25, 2002 9:01 AM
To: Alder, Doug; Bain, Stacy; Engelhardt, Matthew; Maxwell, Tara;
Simpson, Regan; Steinke, Nathan; Tymofichuk, Christin
Subject: FW: The Rules of Manhood




-----Original Message-----
From: Colin Yee [mailto:cmyee@home.com]
Sent: Thursday, January 24, 2002 10:26 PM
To: mandmmitton@shaw.ca; cmyee@collinsbarrow.com; Wes Giebelhaus
Subject: Fw: The Rules of Manhood




> The Rules of Manhood
>  >>>
>  >>> *  Thou shall not rent the movie Chocolat.
>  >
>  >>> * In Black Jack, always split aces  and eights. No arguments.
>  >
>  >>> * Under no circumstances may two men  share an umbrella...
>  >
>  >>> * Any man who brings a camera to a  bachelor party may be legally
> killed
>  >>> and eaten by his fellow  partygoers.
>  >
>  >>> * When you are queried by a buddy's wife,  girlfriend, mother,
> father, priest, shrink, dentist, accountant or  dog walker, you need
not
and
> should not provide any  useful information whatsoever as to his
whereabouts.
> You are permitted to  deny his very existence.
>
> * Unless he murdered someone in your  immediate family, you must bail
a
> friend out of jail within 12  hours.
>
> * You may exaggerate any anecdote told in a bar by 50  percent without
> recrimination; beyond that, anyone within earshot  is allowed to
> call,"Bullshit!". (Exception: When tryi
> ng to pick up  a girl, the allowable
> exaggeration rate rises to 400  percent.)
>
> * If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his  sister is off
limits
> forever.
>
> * The maximum amount of time  you have to wait for another guy who's
>>>
> running late is 5 minutes.  For a girl, you are required to wait 10
>minutes
> for  >>> every point of  hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 scale.
>
> * Bitching about  the brand of free beer in a buddies refrigerator is
>  >>> forbidden. You  may gripe if the temperature is unsuitable.
>  >
> * No man is ever  required to buy a birthday present for another man.
In
>  >>> fact, even  remembering a friends birthday is strictly optional.
>
> * Agreeing  to distract the ugly friend of a hot babe your buddy is
>  >>trying to hook up  with is your legal duty. Should you get carried
away
>  >with your  >>> good  deed and end up having sex with the beast, your
pal
> is forbidden to  >>speak  of
> it, even at your bachelor party.
>
> * Before dating a buddy's  ex, you are required to ask his permission
>  >and he, in return, is required to  grant it.
>  >
> * Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be  treated as
spies
>>>
> until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and  the ability to pick
a
>  >Buffalo wing clean.
>
> * If a man's  zipper is down, that's his problem- you didn't see
>  >nothin'.
>
> * The universal compensation for buddies who help you move is beer.
>
> * A man must never own a cat or like  his girlfriend's cat.
>
> * Your girlfriend must bond with your  buddy's girlfriends within 30
>  >>> minutes of meeting them. You,  however, are not required to make
nice
>  >with her  >>> girlfriend's  significant dick-heads --- low-level
sports
> bonding is all  >>> the law  requires.
>
> * When stumbling upon other guys watching a sports  event, you may
>  >always ask the score of the game in progress, but you may  never ask
w
> ho's
>   >playing.
>  >
>  >>> * When your girlfriend/wife expresses  a desire to fix her whiney
> friend >>up with your pal, you may give her the  go-ahead only if
you'll
be
> able to  >>> warn your buddy and give him  time to prepare excuses
about
> joining the  >>> priesthood.
>  >
>  >>> * It is permissible to consume a fruity chick drink only when
you're
>  >>> sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a  topless
super
>  >model...and it's free.
>  >
>  >>> * A man in the company  of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must
> remain  >>> sober enough to  fight.
>  >
>  >>> * If a buddy is out numbered, out manned, or too drunk  to fight,
you
>  >>must jump into the fight. Exception: If within the last 24  hours
his
> actions  >>> have caused you to think, "What this guy needs is  a good
> ass-whooping",  >then  >>> you may sit back and enjoy.
>  >
>  >>>
> * Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
>  >
>  >>> * Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of
> pizza,  >>> but not both. That's just plain mean.
>  >
>  >>> * If  you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you better be
referring
to
>  >>his  beer.
>  >
>  >>> * Never join your girlfriend/wife in dissing a buddy,  except
when
> she's  >>> withholding sex pending your  response.
>  >
>  >>> * Never talk to a man in the bathroom unless you're  on equal
footing;
>  >>> either both urinating or both waiting in line. In  all other
> situations,  >a nod  >>is all the conversation you need.
>  >
>  >>> * If a buddy is already singing along to a song in the car, you
may
> not  >>> join him....
>  >
>  >>> * If fast dancing is  absolutely necessary, a man may NEVER raise
his
>  >>hands above shoulder  level ....
>  >
>  >>
> ;> * Before allowing drunken friend to cheat  on his girl, you must
> attempt  >>> one intervention. If he is able to  get on his feet, look
you
> in the eye,  >and deliver a, "F--- OFF!", you are  absolved of all
> responsibility.
>
> * The morning after you and a  babe who was formerly "just a friend"
>have
> carnal, drunken monkey sex, the  fact that you're feeling weird and
>  >>guilty is no reason not to nail her  again before the discussion
about
>  >what a big  >>> mistake it  was.
>
>
>