text: close my eyes ( mariah carey song ) " close my eyes " is a song recorded by american singer - songwriter mariah carey for her sixth studio album butterfly ( 1997 ) . it was co - written and produced by carey and walter afanasieff . while carey solely wrote the lyrics to the song , both she and afanasieff composed its music . they also produced and arranged the song together . a downtempo piano led song , the lyrics in " close my eyes " revolve around negative experiences in her life , including indirectly talking about the relationship between her and ex - husband tommy mottola . in september 2012 , carey revealed that it is one of her most favourite and revealing songs that she has written in her career thus far . background carey began working on butterfly in january 1997 . during the album 's development in mid - 1997 carey separated from her husband , music executive tommy mottola , who had guided her career since 1988 . carey 's increasing control over her own career had led to speculation in the press over the future of the couple , and they later divorced . throughout the development of the album , in a departure from her previous style , carey worked with various rappers and hip - hop producers , including sean " puffy " combs , kamaal fareed , missy elliott and jean claude oliver and samuel barnes from trackmasters . critics saw carey 's new production team as a form of revenge on mottola and sony music . carey denied taking a radically new direction , and insisted that the musical style of her new album was of her own choosing . nevertheless , carey resented the control that sony , whose president was mottola , exercised over her music , preventing her making music about which she was passionate . in contrast , sony were concerned carey , their best - selling act , could jeopardize her future success through her actions . the pressure of the separation and constant press attention began to take its toll of carey . growing creative differences with producer walter afanasieff ended their working relationship , after collaborating on most of carey 's previous output . the breaking point came after a heated argument during a long recording session , over the album 's musical direction . carey also faced media criticism over her choice of producers and several newspapers linked carey romantically to several rappers , suggesting these relationships influenced her decisions . however , carey denied the allegations , stating she had only slept with her husband . production and recording " close my eyes " was co - written by carey and walter afanasieff ; carey solely wrote the lyrics , while both she and afanasieff composed the musical structure . it was also produced and arranged by carey and afanasieff . the keyboards , synthesizers and programming were performed by afanasieff . additional keys , drum and rhythm programming , sound design and computer programming were carried out by dan shea . dana jon chappelle and mike scott served as the engineers , while ian was enlisted as the assistant engineer . " close my eyes " was recorded at crave studios and the hit factory , both situated in new york city . it was mixed by mick at both crave studios and the hit factory . it was mastered by bob ludwig at gateway mastering in portland , me . composition and lyrical interpretation " close my eyes " is a downtempo piano led song , which runs for a duration of four minutes and 19 seconds . the lyrical content of the song speaks indirectly about carey 's relationship with mottola , and reflects on times in her life where she has had personal struggles and troubles . her past is presented in the lyrics " i was a wayward child , with the weight of the world that i held deep inside " and " life was a winding road , and i learned many things little ones shouldn 't know . " as described by david browne for entertainment weekly , carey " paints herself " in the lyrics as " a wayward child , with the weight of the world " . he also noted that the singer seems concerned that she had to grow up quicker than was perhaps necessary , in order to live her life in a controlled environment , " maybe i grew up a little too soon . " during the chorus , carey lightens the mood of the song by singing about having courage to face times of adversity , " but i closed my eyes , steadied my feet on the ground , raised my head to the sky . and though times rolled by , still i feel like a child as i look at the moon . maybe i grew up a little too soon . " jon pareles for the new york times wrote that carey " coos " the lyrics " maybe i grew up a little too soon " and " that woman - child inside was on the verge of fading / thankfully i woke up in time . " critical reception david browne for entertainment weekly described how " close my eyes " , as well as another track from the album entitled " butterfly " , were not difficult songs to interpret , writing " it isn 't a reach to interpret these songs as describing life with the reportedly controlling mottola . " jon pareles for the new york times wrote that with regard to the lyrics " maybe i grew up a little too soon " and " that woman - child inside was on the verge of fading / thankfully i woke up in time , " " carey isn 't about to turn into alanis morissette ; butterfly proclaims dependence more humbly than ever . " in their guide to carey 's albums , rolling stone stated that " close my eyes , " along with " butterfly " and " breakdown , " were songs which indirectly spoke about her " pending extraction from the tentacles " of mottola , who exercised his power over her as the head of sony , the label to which carey was signed . live performances carey performed " close my eyes " for the first time live on the rosie o 'donnell show in 1997 . the performance saw carey perform the song sitting on a stool , wearing a white vest top and jeans . it was also included on the set list of her butterfly world tour of 1998 and rainbow world tour of 2000 . legacy in an interview with cnn on september 7 , 2012 , where she was honored by broadcast music , inc. for her songwriting , carey declared " close my eyes " as one of her most favourite and revealing songs that she has written . she stated that it is not always her number one or signature songs which are her favourite , rather , they are " lesser - known cuts from more obscure records . " when asked about how she felt about some of her number - one singles , including " hero " ( music box , 1993 ) , " we belong together " ( the emancipation of mimi , 2005 ) and " touch my body " ( e mc ² , 2008 ) , the singer revealed " i still love those songs , [ but ] i love the obscure songs because they 're very close to my heart . especially a song called ' close my eyes , ' that 's like my life story . " in addition to " close my eyes , " carey cited " looking in , " " i am free , " and " underneath the stars " ( daydream , 1995 ) as some of her favourites . the song is included on the u.s. release of the essential mariah carey . on carey 's official facebook page on may 12 , 2012 , shortly after the release , she wrote , " i spent four years writing this song , only because after i performed in schenectady , ny , i started hearing this melody and singing it over and over to myself as i was taking a bath , looking at the moon .. four years later , as i was leaving a devastating part of my life behind , i wrote the second verse , the bridge and the outro . " credits and personnel recording recorded at crave studios , new york city ; the hit factory , new york city . mixed at gateway mastering , portland , me . personnel lyrics – mariah carey music – mariah carey , walter afanasieff production – mariah carey , walter afanasieff arranging – mariah carey , walter afanasieff mixing – bob ludwig keys , synths , programming – walter afanasieff additional keys , drum and rhythm programming , sound design and computer programming – dan shea engineers – dana jon chappelle , mike scott assistant engineers – ian credits adapted from the liner notes of butterfly .