it felt increasingly, as I became more whole, that I had made it all up, and that I was a phoney. I had to come to some place of acceptance. If I made it all up, then I am an unspeakably evil person, leading so many wonderful, intelligent people astray. What a scheming mind I must have. I knowledge will be hard too live with. But harder still is the thought that perhaps, just perhaps it is all true; that I really was horribly, ritualistically abused in a satanic setting, over and over again and as a result my mind fragmented. The implications of that are completely overwhelming. It was me, my body, that they did those things to. No, I would rather believe I am an evil and deceitful person. At least the I can change, and say sorry, and live a better life from now on.
Carolyn Bramhall, Am I a Good Girl Yet?: Childhood Abuse Had Shattered Her. What Would It Take to Make Her Whole?
crime, dissociation, dissociative-identity-disorder, memories, mpd, multiple-personality-disorder, multiplicity, ritual-abuse, satanic, satanic-ritual-abuse, sra, trauma-experiences, trauma-therapy