Perfectionism is the unparalleled defense for emotionally abandoned children. The existential unattainability of perfection saves the child from giving up, unless or until, scant success forces him to retreat into the depression of a dissociative disorder, or launches him hyperactively into an incipient conduct disorder. Perfectionism also provides a sense of meaning and direction for the powerless and unsupported child. In the guise of self-control, striving to be perfect offers a simulacrum of a sense of control. Self-control is also safer to pursue because abandoning parents typically reserve their severest punishment for children who are vocal about their negligence.
Pete Walker
abandonment, abusive-parents, child-abuse, child-neglect, conduct-disorder, defense-mechanism, dissociation, dissociative-disorder, dissociative-identity-disorder, emotional-abuse, emotionally-unavailable, mental-health, mental-illness, perfectionism, powerlessness, psychological-abuse, punishment, self-control, survivors, survivors-of-abuse