One real danger in love relationships is that most people secretly believe that they must control the love object in order to feel safe in loving and being loved. The cause of this is simple—children are made to feel that they must "give themselves up" if they are to be loved. Thus, for most humans the act of surrender has meant the loss of autonomy or worse—loss of one's own
Christopher S. Hyatt, Sex Magic, Tantra & Tarot: The Way of the Secret Lover
1991, control, love, surrender, thelema