Nix to Declan:Begin transcript—Testing. Hello, hellooo, anybody out there? Check, check, one, two. Soft pee. Puh, puh. Resonance! Sooooooft pee. Alpha bravo disco tango duck.This is Nïx! I’m the Ever-Knowing One, a goddess incandescent, incomparable, and irresistible. But enough about what you think of me. It’s a beautiful day in New Orleans. The wind is out of the east at a steady five knots and clouds look like rabbits … But enough about what you think of me!Now, down to business—Squirrel!Where was I? [Long pause] Why am I in Regin’s car? Bertil, you crawl right back out of that bong this minute!Oh, I remember! I am hereby laying down this track for Magister Declan Chase. If you are a mortal of the recorder peon class, know that Dekko and I go waaaaay back, and he’ll go berserk (snicker snicker) if he doesn’t receive this transmittal. …Chase, riddle me this: what’s beautiful but monstrous, long of tooth but sharp of tooth and soft of mind, and can never ever tell a lie?That’s right. The Enemy of Old can be very useful to you. So use him already.P.S. Your middle name’s about to be spelled r-e-g-r-e-t.And with that, I must bid you adieu. Don’t worry, we’ll catch up very soon. …[Muffled] Who’s mummy’s wittle echolocator? That’s right—you are!—End transcript
Kresley Cole, Dreams of a Dark Warrior
humor