I prodded him in the chest with a finger and said, “Look here, smart mouth, I’m getting pretty sick of you already. If you know what’s best for you, keep your trap shut and do as I tell you. I still haven’t forgotten how you pushed my friend into that corpse. So unless you want to end up like that body in the underpass, do yourself a favour and keep out of my face, okay?”“Whatever you say, boss. You’re the boss, boss,” Drake said.“See, there you go again!” I snapped at him.“I’m not sure I know what you mean, boss,” Drake said.“You even say boss like a wise arse,” I shot back at him.“I don’t know what you mean b-” Drake started again.“Did I say you had to call me boss?”“It’s just that I thought…”“Don’t think!” I barked. “Just do as I say and we’ll get along just fine.”“Whatever you say,” Drake said.I glanced at Madison and she was smiling. “What’s so funny?” I asked.“Nothing,” she smiled back.“Oh, I’m sorry,” I said. “I didn’t realise that I was some sort of freaking comedian. Let’s see ifyou think it’s so funny when another one of those dead kids shows up. Jesus, no wonder you amateurs haven’t caught this piece of scum yet – you’re probably all too busy sitting round cracking jokes andtaking the piss to do any real police work.”“You are funny though,” she half-laughed. “It’s just that when you get angry, your jaw goes alltense and your nostrils flare out at the sides.”“Oh yeah, how very amusing,” I remarked. “I think you two clowns are funny – not ha-ha funny– but fucked-in-the-head funny! Now, if you two have quite finished doing your Laurel and Hardy impersonations, we’ve got a killer to catch!
Tim O'Rourke, Wolf House - Potter's Story
funny-quotes, smart-ass-comments