text: Johnny's tranquilizer darts were starting to wear off by the time Lisa unlocked the bedroom door and stepped into the living area. The Red Boar grunted and tried to push himself up. He took a few groggy seconds to try to determine why he couldn't move his arms from where they'd been bound tightly against his heaving sides.
  
  "What the…fuck is this?" He growled in annoyance.
  
  "This is what happens when assholes like you try to fuck with me." Johnny lifted Lisa's pistol toward the Red Boar. His hand didn't shake, but he didn't look like he could keep a firm hold on it for much longer, either.
  
  "You tied me up?" The gray-skinned magical bucked against the chains and rope and grimaced as the knife wounds in his thick flesh cracked open again. A low chuckle escaped him, accompanied by a long wheeze. "You're pathetic."
  
  "Yeah, say it again from behind bars, fuckface."
  
  "Johnny." Lisa walked behind the leather couch and leaned down to whisper in the dwarf's ear. "We have a problem."
  
  "I ain't lettin' this one outta my sight darlin'. Whatever it is, go on and say it now."
  
  She glanced at Yarren on the couch beside Johnny. The Kilomea's gaze was fixed firmly on the sneering Red Boar and the thick line of saliva dribbling from the corner of their prisoner's mouth. "We don't have a cleanup crew," she whispered.
  
  "What?" Johnny kept the pistol trained on their prisoner and twisted to look over his shoulder to look at Agent Breyer with a grimace. "Did you talk to Nelson?"
  
  "Yeah, he's the one who told me."
  
  "Well, did you tell him to get his head out of his ass and do his fuckin' job?"
  
  "Of course I did but this wasn't an official case so he doesn't have a crew to send out." She shook her head. "I knew there was way too much bureaucratic bullshit to sift through, but I had no idea it went this far."
  
  Johnny turned slowly toward the Red Boar and growled through clenched teeth. "He didn't think we'd get this far."
  
  "It would appear so, yes."
  
  "Dammit, Nelson." The dwarf turned toward Yarren. "Any idea where we can get a bigass van? Preferably reinforced, but at this point, I ain't gonna be too picky."
  
  The Kilomea's eyes widened. "For what?"
  
  "Transport."
  
  Percy gestured toward the front of the suite. "We have a van."
  
  "Yeah." Evan folded his arms. "The one that was supposed to get us to work on time this morning. Rocky's gonna flip his shit."
  
  "Well, how about I make y'all a deal, fellas?" Johnny sniffed and handed the pistol to Lisa. "You let us borrow that van, and I'll make a personal call to your foreman and give y'all some recognition for helpin' with a federal case backed by the FBI and everythin'."
  
  Yarren rubbed the side of his hairy head. "We might as well. We're probably out of work already anyway."
  
  "And I'll make sure we get that fixed up for ya." Johnny stood from the couch and grunted at the pain in his gut.
  
  "What are you doing?" Lisa asked.
  
  "Gettin' a few more things for the road. If the goddamn Department won't come to us, we'll bring this fucker to them. It's only…what? An hour and a half to DC?"
  
  "Johnny…"
  
  "Just keep that gun trained on this prick's ugly face, will ya? I'll be right back."
  
  Lisa stared at the Red Boar and held her pistol with both hands. The bound magical grinned at her through a mouth stained with blood, the side of his face swelling horribly where Johnny had kicked him. "Trouble in paradise?"
  
  She ignored him.
  
  Rex and Luther kept their distance, although they grew bolder by the second in order to sniff the guy's wounds. "Hey, Rex. You know what this two-legs smells like?"
  
  "Like a pile of shit?"
  
  "Eh, I'm getting more of a fresh-grass kinda vibe."
  
  Rex sniggered. "I can see that."
  
  "You know, plenty of other critters runnin' through. Maybe a big ol' Great Dane came by and tried to draw a line all to himself."
  
  "Better show him who's here to stay, Luther."
  
  "Yeah, that's what I'm thinking." The smaller hound sniffed at the Red Boar's shoes and jerked his head away when the prisoner flailed uselessly in his bonds.
  
  "Get this fucking dog away from me."
  
  "Relax, man. I don't even have a knife with me this time." Luther stared at the back of the Red Boar's scarred, misshapen gray head as he lifted a leg and relieved himself on the drug lord's back.
  
  "What the—hey! Hey!" The Red Boar jerked but couldn't avoid the stream soaking through his shirt.
  
  "That's right, asshole!" Rex barked. "You're not calling the shots anymore, are ya?"
  
  Luther lowered his leg and snorted. "You know what that means, don'tcha? It means Johnny's got your ass in the bag now."
  
  Lisa grimaced at the display but couldn't bring herself to intervene.
  
  After backing up a few paces, Luther sat and licked his muzzle. "Don't worry, Johnny. I taught him a lesson he'll never forget."
  
  The dwarf staggered through the living area as he slipped six more tranquilizer rounds into his modified pistol.
  
  "Guess what the lesson is, Johnny," Rex said and his tail thumped on the floor and scattered shards of broken glass.
  
  Johnny stopped in front of the Red Boar, his jaw set in a tight grimace and his face alarmingly pale beneath his wiry red beard. "Don't fuck with me."
  
  All six tranquilizer rounds buried themselves in the thick skin of the Red Boar's neck. The magical's face thumped against the floor at round number four.
  
  With a grunt, Johnny turned and handed the pistol to Yarren. "I think I outta sit down for a spell. Do you mind stowin' that in the black bag in the bedroom for me?"
  
  "Uh…sure." The Kilomea took the pistol cautiously and stood to comply.
  
  "Whoever's got the keys to that work van best pull the thing on around back." Johnny didn't so much sit on the couch again as fall back into it. "Then we're takin' a drive."
  
  "I'll get our things." Lisa placed a hand on his shoulder and leaned over the back of the couch to look at him. "Johnny, you don't look good."
  
  "This ain't the worst I've taken, darlin'. Not by a long shot. As soon as we drop this fucker off at the Bureau's front door, I'll be as right as rain."
  
  "Where are we heading, exactly?" Phil asked.
  
  Johnny shook his head. "Ain't no we about it, Phil. If you and your damn crew don't get the hell outta my way, I still have enough rounds left for you. So y'all can leave now on your own, or you can get dragged out with a full dose of sleep-juice. It's up to you."
  
  Howie shuffled toward the director. "He's fucking serious this time, Phil."
  
  "But—"
  
  "Now is not the time." The old man cracked his cane against the side of Cody's camera. "Out. Everyone out right now!"
  
  "We're not done filming!"
  
  "Leave the camera," Johnny muttered. "We're takin' that with us."
  
  "What? This is high-tech equipment," Phil blustered. "You can't—"
  
  "Anyone who feels like showin' these folks out, I'd appreciate that gettin' done right fuckin' now."
  
  Yarren came out of the bedroom and stalked toward Cody. "Hand it over."
  
  "Yeah, yeah. Jesus. Okay."
  
  "Everyone out!" Howie whacked here and there with his cane to usher the film crew out of the suite so Johnny and his makeshift team could finish the job on their own. "You call me if you need anything, Johnny."
  
  "You bet."
  
  Evan pulled their work van around to the back of the hotel and left the back double doors open. Twenty minutes later, Lisa burst through the rear exit of the hotel and held the door open while Percy and Yarren struggled to carry the unconscious Red Boar between them.
  
  "The fucker weighs a ton," Yarren grunted.
  
  Percy scowled at the bundle of magical drug lord wrapped up in nine-hundred-thread-count king-sized sheets. "He smells like piss too."
  
  "Did you expect anything else?" Luther called after them as he trotted through the door. "It's like everyone's lost their mind or something."
  
  "Come on, Johnny. Hurry up." Rex turned to watch his master step through the back door. "Shit. You don't look so good."
  
  "I'm fine, boys. Keep movin'." Johnny steadied himself on the doorframe.
  
  Lisa tried to offer him a hand, but he waved her away. "Are you sure you can handle this?"
  
  "Who else is gonna?" He chuckled wryly. "No, I know you're perfectly capable, darlin'. But I ain't lettin' you truck that shithead down to DC on your own. No way."
  
  "Then promise me that as soon as we get him off our hands, you'll lay down in a bed and not get up for a few days. That bullet hole won't magically heal if you don't rest."
  
  "Yeah, you have my word."
  
  Evan leapt out of the van's driver seat and shrugged. "It's all yours. You want us to help with anything else?"
  
  Percy and Yarren heaved the Red Boar into the back of the van and deposited him carelessly. A few boxes toppled on top of the unconscious magical before they shut the door with a bang.
  
  "Like what?" Johnny asked.
  
  "I don't know, man. Make some calls or…hell, if anyone has another car, we can come with you."
  
  "Don't worry about it." He nodded at the half-wizard. "Y'all have done enough to help us out for one day. I think we'll be fine on our own from here. Thanks, fellas."
  
  "It's the least we can do." Yarren reached out to shake the bounty hunter's hand. "We kinda owe you for what you did at the senator's house."
  
  "Yeah, we'll get that cleared up too. You can take my word on it." Johnny whistled and waved for the hounds to join him. "Come on, boys. Time to move—" He stumbled and caught himself on the side of the van.
  
  "Okay, Johnny." Lisa headed to the passenger door and pulled it swiftly open. "I think it's time for us to break at least one of your rules."
  
  "Which one, huh?"
  
  "The one where you always drive because I don't think we'll make it to DC with you behind the wheel."
  
  He sniffed and waited for the dizziness to clear. "I think you're right, darlin'."
  
  The hounds bounded into the passenger seat, then dove into the back to accompany the unconscious Red Boar for their drive. "We got him, Johnny."
  
  "Yeah, right where we want him. If he wakes up, I'll piss on him again."
  
  "The van ain't ours, boys," Johnny muttered as he hoisted himself up into the passenger seat with a grimace of pain. "Save it for when we dump this sack of shit outside Nelson's office, huh?"
  
  "Oh, yeah. I can piss on him too."
  
  Lisa nodded at the Kilomeas and half-wizard standing around the van. "Thanks for your help. We'll make sure the van gets back to you, and we'll do whatever we can to make sure you guys aren't out of a job because you didn't have to help us."
  
  "Weird times, right?" Yarren shrugged. "Good luck."
  
  "Yeah. Thanks." Lisa opened the driver's door and tossed Johnny's duffel bag and her roller suitcase into the back. She buckled up and stared at the dwarf until he did the same. "I need you to stay awake while we're on the road, got it?"
  
  "I ain't got a problem stayin' awake, darlin'. It's this damn hole in my gut."
  
  "Yeah. I won't take you to a hospital, but you'll get better medical attention as soon as we're in DC and that asshole in the back is out of the back."
  
  "Fine. Just go."
  
  She shifted into drive and gritted her teeth. If he didn't have a hole in his belly, I'd give him a dose of his own crazy driving medicine right now.