Oh I don't think I could either, or I would have just thrown away my V by now. The elevated vanilla you describe is my baseline, so we pretty much land on the same core desires, I was just saying that the lack of cotton candy love makes me want to indulge the ends of the spectrum more, but I know I could be happy with just vanilla, even if I could also be happy in a kink heavy tryst. The glue for me is just deep intimacy. I think I can do virtually anything with someone I love, but nothing at all if I don't. Can't even hold hands with girls I don't want to stuff because it feels icky