text: >be me >23 days ago >driving drunk as fuck, run a red light, ram into a fucking cop car at 20 mph>cars are not too damaged >drunk mind is scared as shit >unable to think of a reason, stab myself with my pocket knife before the cop comes>hide knife in glove box >say, \"I had been stabbed officer\" >cop gives me a ride to the nearest hospital<|endoftext|>