text: >Be me, 14 years old >Freshman year >On second day of school, make a friend who we will call Mike>Mike was a few years older than me >Get really close with mike >At the time, kissless virgin >Terrified with girls >Desperate for a girlfriend >Mike tells me that it's easy to talk to girls\n>Just don't be nervous and talk to one >lv'e always been too nervous to even approach a grill>One day, he literally pushes me infront a girl i like>\"Hey this is anon.\" >Walks away >I panick, and she kind of giggles >We end up talking >Shes actually kind of nice >Me and female become friends >Me and female end up dating >Dating for a year and a half >We become known as the Lily and Marshal of my highschool>We do everything together >Mike is having a party at his house >Me and female go >I have a few drinks, but gf has alot more than i do>She gets some cigaretts and starts smoking with some guy>Drunkenly tries to make me smoke too >i try it, but have a coughing fit and don't do it again>She starts to get anoyed that i won't smoke with her>\"Whatever\" she says and walks off visually frustrated>Kept partying with Mike and make a few new friends.>Later, i can't find gf >Start asking around for her >One girl says she saw her go upstairs with\n>smoker guy >Mike sees me run upstairs and follows me\n>Open a bedroom door and see her with her top off, making out with smokerfag>I'm stunned. Speachless >Mike grabs guy and throws him off the bed\n>Female starts crying and saying sorry >Runs over and hugs me >Few days later, feel an urge to smoke\n>Decide \"what's the harm\" >I end up having one maybe once a week.\n>Not 19 yet (legel smoking/drinking age in canada) so i have to bum them off of people>turns out female kept on talking and seeing eachother once in a while behind my back>Start smoking to cope with it >I was in love with female, and i still am >I dont know how to deal this. She was my everything>i get super depressed >cry almost every night for 6 months\n>contemplate suicide >decide i dont want to live without female\n>decide to get super drunk and give myself alcohol poisoning. Just kind of, fade away> ive always told mike everything, but i didnt tell him how hurt i was by female.> tell him i want to drink > mike lives alone now, so we do it at his house\n>get super drunk. I cant really remember any of what happened that night>aparently i passed out and he turned me on my side so i wouldnt choke on my own vomit>Wake up and see him sitting in a chair >start crying uncontrollably >tell mike what i tried to do >be me >2 weeks ago > lungs feel strange. Sharp pains when i take deep breaths> go to doctor to get it checked out >take some tests > few days later, i get a call from doctor\n>nervouse as fuck >turns out im completly fine > suicide attempt was a month ago >Still a little depressed, but not suicidal anymore\n> mike calls or texts me everyday to makesure in ok>one day, mike texts me a link of a funny picture to try and cheer me up>its a link to a picture on 9gag >9gag opens >get cancer\n<|endoftext|>