text: >Be me. >Go for a walk because I\u2019m not a shut in virgin.>Walk by trailer park for some human entertainment.>Girl comes running up to me. >Tells me her dog is dying and she needs help.\n>Fucker jumped in the pool and didn\u2019t know how to swim.>Luckily I'm an EMT in training. >Grab big ass golden retriever out of pool. >Pretty sure its dead. >Give the dog CPR. >He's not responding but I keep at it. >Girl calls 911. >Turns out they don\u2019t send ambulances for dogs.\n>Just before I'm about to carry it to her car he starts coughing.>Throws up all over me. >Girl comes running over and hugs dog. >His tail starts wagging. >Girl thanks me. >Gives me a hug. >Tells me she'd kiss me if she didn't have a boyfriend.>Respect her relationship and leave with my head held high.<|endoftext|>