An article on Psych Central differentiated between adaptive/healthy and maladaptive/unhealthy perfectionism. Adaptive perfectionism is associated with high standards, conscientiousness, and strong organizational skills, and tends to be viewed as helpful by those who possess the trait. This is similar to the Brown University site's description of "healthy striving".
Maladaptive perfectionism, on the other hand, is associated with worry, doubt, preoccupation with actual or potential mistakes, and an unhealthy need for control. This unhealthy type of perfectionism is common in people with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD).
According to the chair of the psychology department at Ryerson University, perfectionism show up across multiple different mental health diagnoses in addition to OCD, including anxiety disorders, obsessive compulsive personality disorder, eating disorders, body dysmorphic disorder, and depression. While there is limited research on the biology of perfectionism, there's some indication that it is moderately heritable. There are a number of different therapeutic options that can be helpful for perfectionism, including cognitive behavioral therapy, mindfulness, and acceptance-based approaches.
When I was younger I was never the cool kid. I was more the geeky type. It's funny, I still remember from grade 7 a friend of mine had decided to tell the boy I was crushing on that I liked him, and he said he didn't want to be my boyfriend because I was "too smart". While I got plenty of positive feedback at home, I figured out pretty quickly that if I was going to try to be perfect, I was going to fail. I also figured out that if I was going to try to be a "cool" kid, I was going to fail miserably. Add into the mix that I'm intelligent and capable when it comes to some things and an absolute doofus when it comes to some basic practical things, imperfection was always going to be a better fit for me.
Are you a perfectionist? If so, has it helped or hindered you?
Martin M. Antony, Chair of Psychology at Ryerson University. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Perfectionism.
I'm like this. It's a burden in many areas, but also has saved me from doing even worse things. Forex, now I'm obsessed with writing and spending time with my cat, plus I've decided I hate all dating, so I stay home all the time unless I'm with close friends. If I didn't have these thoughts, I would have joined more dating sites and been with more creeps.
Perfectionism is me. I can rarely let go. It applies to all aspects of my life.
That's got to be hard.
Yep, but hey I have made it this long. It makes me good at my job so I guess it is worth it.
I used to be very perfectionistic (thanks mum /s). This was something I worked on the very first time I was in therapy, and I found being able to lower my standards in some circumstances very helpful in my life. At the end of that I embroidered myself a little wall hanging that said "practice makes better, not perfect" because that was something my therapist had said which stuck in my head. Now I sometimes think I've gone too far in the other direction and stopped trying, in more areas than I am happy with. Need to find the right balance again.
I tried the quiz – not sure that it gives a very accurate picture because the questions are too broad and don't allow for context. For example, with family, nothing was ever good enough for my mother but my siblings continue to surprise me by how accepting they are of my flaws. And with work, it all depends on what is at stake if you make a mistake. In my job (surgery) of course I'm going to have very high standards and would not hesitate to point out or query it if a colleague makes a mistake, but I also know that sometimes, aiming for absolute perfection can be counterproductive – a saying I hear a lot is "better is the enemy of good". I guess that is what you're describing as adaptive perfectionism.
Balance is hard. I like "practice makes better, not perfect" – that makes a lot of sense.
This blog post couldn't have come on a better day, because it's November 30, aka the last day of NaNoWriMo. My goal was to write 50,000 words toward my Enervation of Eve novel. It's currently 5:30 in the evening here, and I'm at 41,000 words. Yeah… problem. I can't write 9,000 words in the next 6.5 hours! AAARRRGGHHH.
It was my goal, I wanted to reach it, but then I went crazy, and I know you know what I'm talking about because you're kind enough to read my blog. 🙂 HA HA HA HA HA HA. I could've gone the distance if life hadn't interfered. Darn it all!
But, you know, I'm just like, I tried hard and it wasn't meant to be. And then I remember that I won NaNoWriMo two years ago despite being hospitalized with pneumonia. And then I'm all like, "Geez inner voice of reason, shut the heck up already!" And then I'm like, "I should eat something. Need food." GROAN.
Your article is really good. You have a lot of scientific/research talent, and I hope you're still putting these on that site where you get tips!!
Thanks! And I think you could definitely have won NaNoWriMo had it not been for hormones and a certain someone getting in the way.
That's an excellent way to look at it!
Really interesting post! I am a perfectionist by nature, and would cry over the odd 'bad' grade at school all the time. Since starting university I've tried to accept bad grades and look at the bigger picture, and it's helped me a lot.
Great post and thank you for sharing the perfectionism test. Having just written about my own perfectionism, I was actually quite relieved to also be placed in the 'healthy perfectionism' category. Mine varies: I do not set high standards for colleagues or family, yet at times the standards I set for myself are extreme. It has helped me achieve goals, yet it leads me to be critical of myself. I'm working on finding the balance, rather than trying to overcome it.
That sounds like a very good way to approach it.