unwillingly took the place of the March Hare. The Hatter was the
only one who got any advantage from the change; and Alice was a
good deal worse off than before, as the March Hare had just upset
the milk-jug into his plate.
Alice did not wish to offend the Dormouse again, so she began
very cautiously: “But I don’t understand. Where did they draw the
treacle from?”
“You can draw water out of a water-well,” said the Hatter; “so I
should think you could draw treacle out of a treacle-well—eh,
stupid?”
“But they were in the well,” Alice said to the Dormouse, not
choosing to notice this last remark.
“Of course they were”, said the Dormouse: “well in.”
This answer so confused poor Alice, that she let the Dormouse go
on for some time without interrupting it.
“They were learning to draw,” the Dormouse went on, yawning and
rubbing its eyes, for it was getting very sleepy; “and they drew
all manner of things—everything that begins with an M——”
“Why with an M?” said Alice.
“Why not?” said the March Hare.
Alice was silent.
The Dormouse had closed its eyes by this time, and was going off
into a doze; but, on being pinched by the Hatter, it woke up again
with a little shriek, and went on: “——that begins with an M, such
as mouse-traps, and the moon, and memory, and muchness—you know you
say things are ‘much of a muchness’—did you ever see such a thing
as a drawing of a muchness!”
“Really, now you ask me,” said Alice, very much confused, “I
don’t think——”
“Then you shouldn’t talk,” said the Hatter.
This piece of rudeness was more than Alice could bear: she got
up in great disgust, and walked off: the Dormouse fell asleep
instantly, and neither of the others took the least notice of her
going, though she looked back once or twice, half hoping that they
would call after her: the last time she saw them, they were trying
to put the Dormouse into the teapot.
“At any rate I’ll never go there again!” said Alice, as she
picked her way through the wood. “It's the stupidest tea-party I
ever was at in all my life!”picked her way through the wood. “It's the stupidest tea-party I
ever was at in all my life!”
Just as she said this, she noticed that one of the trees had a
door leading right into it. “That’s very curious!” she thought.
“But everything’s curious to-day. I think I may as well go in at
once.” And in she went.
Once more she found herself in the long hall, and close to the
little glass table. “Now, I’ll manage better this time,” she said
to herself, and began by taking the little golden key, and
unlocking the door that led into the garden. Then she went to work
nibbling at the mushroom (she had kept a piece of it in her pocket)
till she was about a foot high: then she walked down the little
passage: and then—she found herself at last in the beautiful
garden, among the bright flower-beds and the cool fountains.A large rose-tree stood near the entrance of the garden: the
roses growing on it were white, but there were three gardeners at
it, busily painting them red. Alice thought this a very curious
thing, and she went nearer to watch them, and, just as she came up
to them, she heard one of them say “Look out now, Five! Don’t go
splashing paint over me like that!”
“I couldn’t help it,” said Five, in a sulky tone. “Seven jogged
my elbow.”
On which Seven looked up and said “That’s right, Five! Always
lay the blame on others!”
“You’d better not talk!” said Five. “I heard the Queen say only
yesterday you deserved to be beheaded.”
“What for?” said the one who had spoken first.
“That’s none of your business, Two!” said Seven.
“Yes, it is his business!” said Five. “And I’ll tell him—it was
for bringing the cook tulip-roots instead of onions.”
Seven flung down his brush, and had just begun “Well, of all the
unjust things——” when his eye chanced to fall upon Alice, as she
stood watching them, and he checked himself suddenly: the others
looked round also, and all of them bowed low.
“Would you tell me, please,” said Alice, a little timidly, “why
you are painting those roses?”
Five and Seven said nothing, but looked at Two. Two began, in a
low voice, “Why, the fact is, you see, Miss, this here ought to
have been a red rose-tree, and we put a white one in by mistake;
and if the Queen was to find it out, we should all have our heads
cut off, you know. So you see, Miss, we’re doing our best, afore
she comes, to——” At this moment, Five, who had been anxiously
looking across the garden, called out “The Queen! The Queen!”, and
the three gardeners instantly threw themselves flat upon their
faces. There was a sound of many footsteps, and Alice looked round,
eager to see the Queen.
First came ten soldiers carrying clubs: these were all shaped
like the three gardeners, oblong and flat, with their hands and
feet at the corners: next the ten courtiers: these were ornamented
all over with diamonds, and walked two and two, as the soldiersall over with diamonds, and walked two and two, as the soldiers
did. After these came the royal children: there were ten of them,
and the little dears came jumping merrily along, hand in hand, in
couples: they were all ornamented with hearts. Next came the
guests, mostly Kings and Queens, and among them Alice recognised
the White Rabbit: it was talking in a hurried nervous manner,
smiling at everything that was said, and went by without noticing
her. Then followed the Knave of Hearts, carrying the King’s crown
on a crimson velvet cushion; and, last of all this grand
procession, came THE KING AND THE QUEEN OF HEARTS.
Alice was rather doubtful whether she ought not to lie down on
her face like the three gardeners, but she could not remember ever
having heard of such a rule at processions; “and besides, what
would be the use of a procession,” thought she, “if people had all
to lie down upon their faces, so that they couldn’t see it?” So she
stood where she was, and waited.
When the procession came opposite to Alice, they all stopped and
looked at her, and the Queen said, severely, “Who is this?”. She
said it to the Knave of Hearts, who only bowed and smiled in
reply.
“Idiot!” said the Queen, tossing her head impatiently; and,
turning to Alice, she went on: “What’s your name, child?”
“My name is Alice, so please your Majesty,” said Alice very
politely; but she added, to herself, “Why, they’re only a pack of
cards, after all. I needn’t be afraid of them!”
“And who are these?” said the Queen, pointing to the three
gardeners who were lying round the rose-tree; for, you see, as they
were lying on their faces, and the pattern on their backs was the
same as the rest of the pack, she could not tell whether they were
gardeners, or soldiers, or courtiers, or three of her own
children.
“How should I know?” said Alice, surprised at her own courage.
“It’s no business of mine.”
The Queen turned crimson with fury, and, after glaring at her
for a moment like a wild beast, began screaming “Off with her head!
Off with——”