his and turned it over, it does make a pretty good pile, he said,
"Did you write all this, Mrs. Harker?"
I nodded, and he went on.
"I don't quite see the drift of it, but you people are all so
good and kind, and have been working so earnestly and so
energetically, that all I can do is to accept your ideas blindfold
and try to help you. I have had one lesson already in accepting
facts that should make a man humble to the last hour of his life.
Besides, I know you loved my Lucy … "
Here he turned away and covered his face with his hands. I could
hear the tears in his voice. Mr. Morris, with instinctive delicacy,
just laid a hand for a moment on his shoulder, and then walked
quietly out of the room. I suppose there is something in a woman's
nature that makes a man free to break down before her and express
his feelings on the tender or emotional side without feeling it
derogatory to his manhood. For when Lord Godalming found himself
alone with me he sat down on the sofa and gave way utterly and
openly. I sat down beside him and took his hand. I hope he didn't
think it forward of me, and that if her ever thinks of it
afterwards he never will have such a thought. There I wrong him. I
know he never will. He is too true a gentleman. I said to him, for
I could see that his heart was breaking, "I loved dear Lucy, and I
know what she was to you, and what you were to her. She and I were
like sisters, and now she is gone, will you not let me be like a
sister to you in your trouble? I know what sorrows you have had,
though I cannot measure the depth of them. If sympathy and pity can
help in your affliction, won't you let me be of some little
service, for Lucy's sake?"
In an instant the poor dear fellow was overwhelmed with grief.
It seemed to me that all that he had of late been suffering in
silence found a vent at once. He grew quite hysterical, and raising
his open hands, beat his palms together in a perfect agony of
grief. He stood up and then sat down again, and the tears rainedgrief. He stood up and then sat down again, and the tears rained
down his cheeks. I felt an infinite pity for him, and opened my
arms unthinkingly. With a sob he laid his head on my shoulder and
cried like a wearied child, whilst he shook with emotion.
We women have something of the mother in us that makes us rise
above smaller matters when the mother spirit is invoked. I felt
this big sorrowing man's head resting on me, as though it were that
of a baby that some day may lie on my bosom, and I stroked his hair
as though he were my own child. I never thought at the time how
strange it all was.
After a little bit his sobs ceased, and he raised himself with
an apology, though he made no disguise of his emotion. He told me
that for days and nights past, weary days and sleepless nights, he
had been unable to speak with any one, as a man must speak in his
time of sorrow. There was no woman whose sympathy could be given to
him, or with whom, owing to the terrible circumstance with which
his sorrow was surrounded, he could speak freely.
"I know now how I suffered," he said, as he dried his eyes, "but
I do not know even yet, and none other can ever know, how much your
sweet sympathy has been to me today. I shall know better in time,
and believe me that, though I am not ungrateful now, my gratitude
will grow with my understanding. You will let me be like a brother,
will you not, for all our lives, for dear Lucy's sake?"
"For dear Lucy's sake," I said as we clasped hands."Ay, and for
your own sake," he added, "for if a man's esteem and gratitude are
ever worth the winning, you have won mine today. If ever the future
should bring to you a time when you need a man's help, believe me,
you will not call in vain. God grant that no such time may ever
come to you to break the sunshine of your life, but if it should
ever come, promise me that you will let me know."
He was so earnest, and his sorrow was so fresh, that I felt it
would comfort him, so I said, "I promise."
As I came along the corridor I say Mr. Morris looking out of aAs I came along the corridor I say Mr. Morris looking out of a
window. He turned as he heard my footsteps. "How is Art?" he said.
Then noticing my red eyes, he went on,"Ah, I see you have been
comforting him. Poor old fellow! He needs it. No one but a woman
can help a man when he is in trouble of the heart, and he had no
one to comfort him."
He bore his own trouble so bravely that my heart bled for him. I
saw the manuscript in his hand, and I knew that when he read it he
would realize how much I knew, so I said to him,"I wish I could
comfort all who suffer from the heart. Will you let me be your
friend, and will you come to me for comfort if you need it? You
will know later why I speak."
He saw that I was in earnest, and stooping, took my hand, and
raising it to his lips, kissed it. It seemed but poor comfort to so
brave and unselfish a soul, and impulsively I bent over and kissed
him. The tears rose in his eyes, and there was a momentary choking
in his throat. He said quite calmly,"Little girl, you will never
forget that true hearted kindness, so long as ever you live!" Then
he went into the study to his friend.
"Little girl!" The very words he had used to Lucy, and, oh, but
he proved himself a friend.30 September.—I got home at five o'clock, and found that
Godalming and Morris had not only arrived, but had already studied
the transcript of the various diaries and letters which Harker had
not yet returned from his visit to the carriers' men, of whom Dr.
Hennessey had written to me. Mrs. Harker gave us a cup of tea, and
I can honestly say that, for the first time since I have lived in
it, this old house seemed like home. When we had finished, Mrs.
Harker said,
"Dr. Seward, may I ask a favor? I want to see your patient, Mr.
Renfield. Do let me see him. What you have said of him in your
diary interests me so much!"
She looked so appealing and so pretty that I could not refuse
her, and there was no possible reason why I should, so I took her
with me. When I went into the room, I told the man that a lady
would like to see him, to which he simply answered, "Why?"
"She is going through the house, and wants to see every one in
it," I answered.
"Oh, very well," he said,"let her come in, by all means, but
just wait a minute till I tidy up the place."
His method of tidying was peculiar, he simply swallowed all the
flies and spiders in the boxes before I could stop him. It was
quite evident that he feared, or was jealous of, some interference.
When he had got through his disgusting task, he said cheerfully,
"Let the lady come in," and sat down on the edge of his bed with
his head down, but with his eyelids raised so that he could see her
as she entered. For a moment I thought that he might have some
homicidal intent. I remembered how quiet he had been just before he
attacked me in my own study, and I took care to stand where I could
seize him at once if he attempted to make a spring at her.
She came into the room with an easy gracefulness which would at
once command the respect of any lunatic, for easiness is one of the
qualities mad people most respect. She walked over to him, smiling
pleasantly, and held out her hand.
"Good evening, Mr. Renfield," said she. "You see, I know you,