minding their own business!”
“Ah, well! It means much the same thing,” said the Duchess,
digging her sharp little chin into Alice’s shoulder as she added
“and the moral of that is—‘Take care of the sense, and the sounds
will take care of themselves.’”
“How fond she is of finding morals in things!” Alice thought to
herself.
“I dare say you’re wondering why I don’t put my arm round your
waist,” the Duchess said, after a pause: “the reason is, that I’m
doubtful about the temper of your flamingo. Shall I try the
experiment?”
“He might bite,” Alice cautiously replied, not feeling at all
anxious to have the experiment tried.
“Very true,” said the Duchess: “flamingoes and mustard both
bite. And the moral of that is—‘Birds of a feather flock
together.’”
“Only mustard isn’t a bird,” Alice remarked.
“Right, as usual,” said the Duchess: “what a clear way you have
of putting things!”
“It’s a mineral, I think,” said Alice.
“Of course it is,” said the Duchess, who seemed ready to agree
to everything that Alice said; “there’s a large mustard-mine near
here. And the moral of that is—‘The more there is of mine, the less
there is of yours.’”
“Oh, I know!” exclaimed Alice, who had not attended to this last
remark. “It’s a vegetable. It doesn’t look like one, but it
is.”
“I quite agree with you,” said the Duchess; “and the moral of
that is—‘Be what you would seem to be’—or, if you’d like it put
more simply—‘Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what
it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was
not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to
be otherwise.’”
“I think I should understand that better,” Alice said very
politely, “if I had it written down: but I ca’n’t quite follow it
as you say it.”
“That’s nothing to what I could say if I chose,” the Duchess
replied, in a pleased tone.
“Pray don’t trouble yourself to say it any longer than that,”
said Alice.
“Oh, don’t talk about trouble!” said the Duchess. “I make you a
present of everything I’ve said as yet.”present of everything I’ve said as yet.”
“A cheap sort of present!” thought Alice. “I’m glad they don’t
give birthday-presents like that!” But she did not venture to say
it out loud.
“Thinking again?” the Duchess asked, with another dig of her
sharp little chin.
“I’ve a right to think,” said Alice sharply, for she was
beginning to feel a little worried.
“Just about as much right,” said the Duchess, “as pigs have to
fly; and the m——”
But here, to Alice’s great surprise, the Duchess’s voice died
away, even in the middle of her favourite word “moral,” and the arm
that was linked into hers began to tremble. Alice looked up, and
there stood the Queen in front of them, with her arms folded,
frowning like a thunderstorm.
“A fine day, your Majesty!” the Duchess began in a low, weak
voice.
“Now, I give you fair warning,” shouted the Queen, stamping on
the ground as she spoke; “either you or your head must be off, and
that in about half no time! Take your choice!”
The Duchess took her choice, and was gone in a moment.
“Let’s go on with the game,” the Queen said to Alice; and Alice
was too much frightened to say a word, but slowly followed her back
to the croquet-ground.
The other guests had taken advantage of the Queen’s absence, and
were resting in the shade: however, the moment they saw her, they
hurried back to the game, the Queen merely remarking that a
moment’s delay would cost them their lives.
All the time they were playing the Queen never left off
quarrelling with the other players, and shouting “Off with his
head!' or “Off with her head!” Those whom she sentenced were taken
into custody by the soldiers, who of course had to leave off being
arches to do this, so that, by the end of half an hour or so, there
were no arches left, and all the players, except the King, the
Queen, and Alice, were in custody and under sentence of
execution.
Then the Queen left off, quite out of breath, and said to Alice,
“Have you seen the Mock Turtle yet?”
“No,” said Alice. “I don’t even know what a Mock Turtle is.”“Have you seen the Mock Turtle yet?”
“No,” said Alice. “I don’t even know what a Mock Turtle is.”
“It’s the thing Mock Turtle Soup is made from,” said the
Queen.
“I never saw one, or heard of one,” said Alice.
“Come on, then,” said the Queen, “and he shall tell you his
history,”
As they walked off together, Alice heard the King say in a low
voice, to the company generally, “You are all pardoned.” “Come,
that’s a good thing!” she said to herself, for she had felt quite
unhappy at the number of executions the Queen had ordered.
They very soon came upon a Gryphon, lying fast asleep in the
sun. (If you don’t know what a Gryphon is, look at the picture.)
“Up, lazy thing!” said the Queen, “and take this young lady to see
the Mock Turtle, and to hear his history. I must go back and see
after some executions I have ordered;” and she walked off, leaving
Alice alone with the Gryphon. Alice did not quite like the look of
the creature, but on the whole she thought it would be quite as
safe to stay with it as to go after that savage Queen: so she
waited.
The Gryphon sat up and rubbed its eyes: then it watched the
Queen till she was out of sight: then it chuckled. “What fun!” said
the Gryphon, half to itself, half to Alice.
“What is the fun?” said Alice.
“Why, she,” said the Gryphon. “It’s all her fancy, that: they
never executes nobody, you know. Come on!”
“Everybody says ‘come on!’ here,” thought Alice, as she went
slowly after it: “I never was so ordered about before, in all my
life, never!”
They had not gone far before they saw the Mock Turtle in the
distance, sitting sad and lonely on a little ledge of rock, and, as
they came nearer, Alice could hear him sighing as if his heart
would break. She pitied him deeply. “What is his sorrow?” she asked
the Gryphon. And the Gryphon answered, very nearly in the same
words as before, “It’s all his fancy, that: he hasn’t got no
sorrow, you know. Come on!”
So they went up to the Mock Turtle, who looked at them with
large eyes full of tears, but said nothing.