Using storytelling in Self Management

Challenge

I quit my job and high-flying career (Vice-President on the Executive Committee of a

listed company) a few months ago to follow my husband to a new country and to

spend more time with my kids. Whilst this was a rational decision that made a lot of

sense for the entire family, I was struggling with the definition of my new self.

For example: When I opened a bank account in the new country and the clerk asked

me what my occupation was, I tried to explain in lengthy words what I felt I was:

“An ex-director, on career break, now studying online, looking for ‘quality’ part-time or

project opportunities …”. The clerk listened politely and then ticked the box

“homemaker” on the application form in front of her. I was upset.

I did not define myself as a homemaker and this was not how I spend my day. I had

been a professional and still felt like a professional, I was engaging in continuing

training and education (e.g. the design thinking course!), volunteering at a business

school and wondering when and how to go back to work. I wanted a professional

challenge - but not another corporate role with all its inflexibility and long hours. Few

people had the patience to listen.

What made things worse: Having just arrived in a new country, I met many new

people and every time the same: When somebody asked who I was and what I did, I

felt uncomfortable and unable to explain it in a few simple words.

Selection:

I realized I had a problem. I was unsure about my future professional life but had to

introduce and present myself almost daily. The old narrative (“I am a Vice President

on the Executive Committee of XYZ”) did not work anymore and the replacement “I

used to be a Vice President on the Executive Committee of XYZ” was pathetic.

What I needed was a new story about me – a story that connected me with new self

and with my audience, a story that did not look back but was forward looking ,

motivating for me and intriguing for others.

No other tool would have been better – only stories can convey the emotions, values

and characteristics of a person, with a few simple lines.

Application:

I started by trying to understand what my current reality was.

- I talked to friends who looked from the outside and saw a lot of activity and trials

since I had arrived in the new country: supporting the board of the local school, ad

hoc training support, business development for a friend, organizing career events, etc

- I tried to understand my emotions (misplaced, misunderstood, worthless, …)

- I looked for role models – parents with kids who had managed to build a career

outside the constraints of corporate life.

- I discussed with my husband and kids how much work I could actually do and how

they could help

- I created a journal to understand how I spend my day

I soon realized that I was actively searching, experimenting and exploring how to

build my new professional life in this country. I knew what I wanted: Senior role(s)

and responsibilities that would allow me to be home when the kids come from school.

I needed flexibility during holidays. There was not really a role model for this. And I

did not yet know the solution to my problem. But I had found my cause: I was a

successful career woman with kids, skills and experience  – and I would not resign to

become a homemaker but experiment and find a way to build a flexible portfolio

career AND spend time with my kids.

Once I knew who I was and what I wanted to be, it was easy to create a short story.

When I now meet a new person, I confidently introduce myself with the following 3

sentences:

“I am a career explorer. I experiment with a portfolio career, which means I hold a few

different roles in business development and professional training. The objective is to

balance time for career and kids”.

My mini-story makes my complicated, experimental situation accessible, relatable

and simple to people I meet. This story would still not help me with the bank clerk, but

it is right for the audience that I care about: new colleagues, parents of my kids’

friends, etc

Insight & Approach:

This assignment is actually the first time that I have thought about design thinking in

the context of personal development. But it works just as well as in business!

Life is very complex these days with many different demands and constraints.

Designing your optimal life is a wonderful object for design thinking! And story telling

plays a prominent part. Stories connect to people- others people or yourself. Stories

help the self to be motivated and capture the larger purpose. Inspired by this

assignment, I will use storytelling more often and more consciously for professional

and personal development in the future.

Visualization is another tool that would lend itself perfectly to design thinking for

personal development. I actually did a collage of my dream life with a life coach many

years ago. It still hangs at my bedroom door, it is still valid and I remember almost

every single detail of it! It is a powerful force in giving direction : “Dream it, design, do

it”!

