Christian Chapman, 41, described his experience during Better.com's orientation as being similar to the exhilaration of a new relationship. He was impressed by the benefits, believed in the company's mission, and quickly became fully invested. However, there were concerning signs, such as a profanity-laced rant by the CEO, Vishal Garg, during a video call, which prompted Chapman to mute the call and remove his young daughter from the room. Then, last month, Garg fired 900 Better.com employees, including Chapman, in a recorded Zoom call, which was later shared online. Garg later apologized, but a little over one week later, the company's board announced that the founder and CEO would be taking a break from his role. Over the past two years, couches have served as offices and colleagues have communicated through instant messages. The workforce, which underwent significant changes, has reevaluated how people should be treated in a corporate setting. Angelina Darrisaw, CEO of C-Suite Coach, noted a decrease in tolerance for rude bosses and an increase in interest in her executive coaching services last year. "According to her, it is not easy to suddenly become a leader in the workplace. Companies are now focusing on ensuring that their managers are properly trained for the job. This increased scrutiny on workplace behavior follows years of discussions on appropriate conduct in the office. The #MeToo movement led to the resignation of many executives accused of sexual assault. The Black Lives Matter protests following George Floyd's death led to corporate leaders apologizing for past discrimination and lack of diversity in their workforce, and promising to make changes. With the disruption of work routines due to the pandemic, people are now starting to question the unpleasantness and indignities they used to tolerate as just part of office life." Some people are saying that they no longer want to work for unpleasant individuals. However, it is not against the law to be difficult, which complicates the issue of dealing with mean colleagues. The definition of a bully can vary depending on the perspective of the person being mistreated. In recent years, the popular image of a difficult boss is someone like Miranda Priestly, played by Meryl Streep in "The Devil Wears Prada," who has high standards and can be demanding. In reality, rude behavior can range from mildly uncomfortable to extremely offensive. The founder is known for having a strong vision and ambition that can make it challenging for employees to question his behavior. For example, Garg accused fired employees of stealing from the company by working too few hours. Better.com referred to Garg's apology for the layoffs when asked for comment. Another example is Hollywood mogul Scott Rudin, who created acclaimed art but also threw staplers at his staff. He later apologized for his actions. In addition, there is the intense millennial hustle culture exemplified by former Away CEO Steph Korey, who expected loyalty and constant Slack activity from employees at all hours of the day and night. In a message to her staff, she expressed her hope that everyone in the group would acknowledge the effort she had put into creating a career development opportunity, as she requested them to refrain from asking for time off. Larry Ellison, the CEO of Oracle, described his leadership style as "management by ridicule," emphasizing the importance of intellectual intimidation and rhetorical bullying. However, he later renounced this approach as that of an inexperienced and insecure CEO. Tessa West, a social psychologist at New York University, authored a book titled "Jerks at Work," which identifies various negative personalities in the workplace, such as the bulldozer, the free rider, the gaslighter, and the kiss up/kick downer. Many of the instances she provides involve supervisors, who are typically more difficult to report. West's interest in this topic is driven by personal experience. While she was pursuing her graduate degree at the University of Connecticut, a fellow student engaged in subtle acts of sabotage towards her, such as purposely giving her the wrong meeting time and making comments about her clothing being too revealing. Despite these actions not clearly violating any conduct policies, West was initially reluctant to address the situation further. West reflected on how the climate has changed and acknowledged that certain behaviors are now seen as inappropriate. The traditional experience of going to work has always included unpleasant aspects such as commuting, small talk before coffee, and being told what to do early in the morning. However, in the past year, some workers have noticed a shift in power dynamics between employees and employers. This change may have been influenced by the record number of Americans resigning from their jobs in November, or the uncertainty surrounding returning to office plans. More employees are feeling empowered to speak up to their managers, with the expectation of being their authentic selves at work evolving from simply wearing bright colors to now including activities like team meditation and discussions about how the company supports the community. Despite being taught by her mother to stay with a team for as long as possible, 26-year-old Jacquelyn Carter eventually decided to quit her job at a nonprofit in Houston due to accumulating grievances during the pandemic. Some colleagues consistently forgot her name, while others talked over her in meetings. A manager at the organization criticized one of her ideas as "stupid," and as a Black woman, she had to deal with insensitive remarks from her white colleagues. She found solace in being at home where she didn't have to face comments about her appearance. She came across TikTok videos of people celebrating their decisions to leave jobs they were unhappy with, known as QuitTok. One popular post featured three women dancing offscreen with a message criticizing the company's toxic management. Carter decided to leave her employer due to a mean colleague and started looking for new opportunities, eventually joining Darrisaw's firm. The bad-boss-goodbye posts have motivated some individuals, like Kristofer Flatt, to transition from retail to office jobs. Flatt, who previously worked at a large store in Arkansas, left due to managers ignoring his safety concerns, assigning unclear tasks, and questioning his need for time off. In spring 2020, he landed a corporate job. Janine Yancey, from Emtrain, emphasized the importance of creating a positive work culture to attract top talent. She also noted a lack of investment in leadership and management development in recent years. Yancey, a former employment lawyer, observed that while everyone is focused on technical skills, they may overlook the importance of how those skills are applied. She realized that legal reform alone would not bring about the workplace changes she desired, as highlighted by Ellen Pao's unsuccessful gender discrimination lawsuit in 2015. Yancey believes that societal change is necessary in addition to legal regulations. Shani Ospina's work aims to speed up this societal change as a professional jerk patroller. An executive coach at Strategyzer, a software and consulting company, conducts 90-minute screenings during interviews to evaluate the personality fit of job candidates, in line with the company's focus on teamwork. She begins by asking candidates what aspect of themselves they are most proud of, then delves deeper by inquiring about what they would like to change about themselves. The coach believes that while everyone can be petty at times, the key difference between an average person and a true jerk lies in their ability to acknowledge their shortcomings and strive for improvement. One of Strategyzer's founders, Alex Osterwalder, identifies common jerk behaviors as blaming coworkers, rejecting feedback, and gossiping about others. He emphasizes the importance of screening for traits like humility and willingness to learn, in addition to technical skills. Being jerky, similar to being incompetent, can negatively impact productivity. Competent jerks who advance in their careers can influence a company's culture, especially in environments that prioritize results over how they are achieved. At Baird, a financial services firm, this principle is taken seriously, as employees are explicitly told about the company's "no asshole rule" during orientation and it is even included in training materials. Leslie Dixon, who leads the human resources department, has terminated employees for breaching the policy. Dixon believes that by clearly communicating the policy and discussing it with new hires and throughout their careers, it encourages open conversations about behavior that may not be illegal but can be uncomfortable. Similar to the team at Strategyzer, those enforcing Baird's policy understand that rudeness is not a fixed trait and employees are not fired for small mistakes. Beth Kavelaris, the director of culture and integration, also shared that she received feedback in the past that made her reconsider her own behavior. Kavelaris remembered receiving a message from her boss, in which she was told to improve her listening skills. She admitted to interrupting her boss while she was delivering this message. Kavelaris acknowledged that she has improved in this aspect over time. Recently, Garg, who had fired 900 employees over Zoom, issued an apology to his team at Better.com. He admitted to not showing enough respect and appreciation for those affected by the layoffs and vowed to do better in the future. Garg also promised to be transparent and share the company's goals for 2022. His judgment arrived when almost every company is focused on retaining talent. Without a dedicated staff, it is impossible to achieve metrics. Many are recognizing that workplace misconduct is a major driver of employee turnover. For example, Darrisaw from C-Suite Coach assists companies in evaluating their culture and identifying areas for improvement. She questions clients about whether more employees are considering leaving specific teams. “That frequently indicates the type of management style in place.” Employees may occasionally publicly criticize their harsher coworkers, but in other instances, this responsibility may fall on those who are resigning instead. This suggests that the time when many people are quitting their jobs could be problematic for the unpleasant individuals. ©2022 The New York Times Company.