Christian Chapman, 41, likened his experience during Better.com's orientation to the exhilaration of a new romance. The benefits were abundant, the company's mission was strong, and Chapman, a mortgage underwriting trainer, quickly became enamored. He and his colleagues enthusiastically shouted "LGTM!" which stood for "Let's Get That Money." However, there were warning signs, such as a profanity-laced rant by Vishal Garg, the CEO, during a video call last summer, causing Chapman to mute the call and remove his young daughter from the room. Then, in the previous month, Garg gathered 900 Better.com employees, including Chapman, around 9% of the workforce, and terminated them via a Zoom call that was recorded and shared online. Garg later apologized, but a week after that, the company's board announced that the founder and CEO would be taking time off. For nearly two years, couches have served as offices, colleagues communicate through instant messaging, and employees have had to adapt to significant changes in how they interact in the corporate world. Angelina Darrisaw, CEO of C-Suite Coach, noted a decrease in tolerance for difficult bosses and an increased interest in executive coaching services. "You cannot simply wake up one day and start leading people," she remarked. "Companies are now considering how to ensure that our managers are properly trained for their roles." The focus on workplace behavior has intensified in recent years following widespread discussions on appropriate conduct in the office. The #MeToo movement led to numerous executives stepping down due to allegations of sexual misconduct. The Black Lives Matter protests, sparked by the death of George Floyd, prompted corporate leaders to issue apologies for past discriminatory practices and lack of diversity in their workforce, committing to make improvements. With the disruption of work routines caused by the pandemic, people have started questioning the unpleasantness and indignities they used to tolerate as part of the office environment. Some individuals are advocating for no longer working for unpleasant people. However, being unpleasant is not against the law, which complicates the issue of dealing with mean coworkers. The definition of a bully can vary depending on who you ask. In popular culture, the image of a demanding and difficult boss has been portrayed by characters like Meryl Streep's Miranda Priestly in "The Devil Wears Prada." In reality, bad behavior by bosses can range from mildly uncomfortable to truly cringe-worthy. The founder, whose strong vision and ambition can make it challenging for employees to question his temper, is exemplified by Garg, who accused fired employees of "stealing" from the company by not working enough hours. Better.com referred to Garg's apology for the layoffs when asked for comment. Hollywood mogul Scott Rudin, known for producing critically acclaimed work, also threw staplers at his employees but later apologized. Another example is Steph Korey, former CEO of Away, who demanded loyalty and constant activity on Slack from employees at all times. She expressed her hope that everyone in the group would appreciate the effort she had put into creating a career development opportunity in a message asking her staff to refrain from requesting time off. Oracle's Larry Ellison, on the other hand, described his leadership style as "management by ridicule," emphasizing the need for intellectual intimidation and rhetorical bullying. Tessa West, a social psychologist at New York University, outlined different negative personalities in her book "Jerks at Work," including the bulldozer, the free rider, the gaslighter, and the kiss up/kick downer. A lot of the instances she mentions involve supervisors, who are typically more difficult to report. West's motivation for pursuing this issue is personal. She experienced workplace harassment during her time at the University of Connecticut, where a colleague engaged in various forms of sabotage such as providing incorrect meeting times and criticizing her clothing choices. Despite the comments not clearly breaching any code of conduct other than common courtesy, West was hesitant to address the situation further. West reflected that the climate has shifted and behaviors that were once accepted are now seen as inappropriate. Going to work has always involved dealing with unpleasant aspects like commuting and early morning conversations, as well as following orders from superiors. However, the past year has seen a shift in power dynamics between employees and employers, possibly due to a record number of Americans quitting their jobs in November and uncertainty around office return plans. Regardless of the specific changes, more employees are feeling empowered to speak up to their managers. In the past, being your full self at work may have meant wearing a pop of color, but now it includes activities like meditation with your team and discussing how the company supports the community. Jacquelyn Carter, 26, had not planned on leaving her job during the pandemic, as she had been taught by her mother to stay with a team for as long as possible. However, she started to notice various negative experiences accumulating over time. Some of her coworkers consistently forgot her name, while others talked over her during meetings. One manager at the organization even went as far as calling one of her ideas "stupid." Being a Black woman, she often had to deal with insensitive remarks from white colleagues. Upon reflecting at home, she realized she no longer had to endure comments about her appearance from passing coworkers in the hallway. She found solace in watching TikToks of people celebrating their decisions to leave jobs they disliked, known as QuitTok, with clips featuring songs like Destiny's Child's "Bills, Bills, Bills" and Cardi B's "Money." One popular video showed three women dancing offscreen with text stating, "the company would rather lose 3 reliable hard working employees than fix their toxic management." This motivated her to leave her employer due to a mean colleague, and she eventually found a new opportunity at Darrisaw's firm. The negative experiences shared by former employees on social media prompted some individuals, like Kristofer Flatt, to switch from retail to office jobs. Flatt, who previously worked at a big-box store in Arkansas, was dissatisfied with his managers' lack of concern for his safety, unclear instructions for tasks, and reluctance to grant him time off for personal reasons. He ultimately left his retail job in spring 2020 and transitioned to a corporate role. Janine Yancey, the founder of Emtrain, a company that offers workplace training, emphasized the importance of businesses prioritizing the development of a positive work culture in order to attract top talent. Yancey noted that in recent years, there has been a lack of investment in improving leadership and management skills within companies. Yancey, a former employment lawyer, realized that legal reform alone would not bring about the workplace changes she desired, especially after witnessing Ellen Pao lose her gender discrimination lawsuit in 2015. Yancey believes that societal change is necessary, as laws are only the starting point. Shani Ospina is working to speed up this societal change as a professional jerk patroller. A coach who works with Strategyzer, a software and consulting company, conducts 90-minute screenings during interviews to evaluate job candidates' personality fit and emphasize the importance of teamwork. She starts by asking candidates what aspect of themselves they are most proud of, then delves deeper by asking what aspect they would most like to change. The coach believes that recognizing failures and striving for improvement distinguishes average people from hardcore jerks. One of Strategyzer's founders, Alex Osterwalder, identifies common jerk qualities as blaming colleagues, rejecting feedback, and gossiping about others. He stresses the importance of screening for non-jerk behavior in addition to technical skills. Jerkiness, similar to incompetence, can negatively impact productivity. Competent jerks who advance in their careers can have significant consequences, particularly in a corporate environment that values results over how the work is accomplished. Recognition is given for performance rather than teamwork. Baird, a financial services company, has gone a step further by officially implementing a "no asshole rule" and educating employees about it during orientation, even including it in training materials. Leslie Dixon, the leader of the human resources department, has terminated employees who have violated the policy. Dixon believes that by clearly communicating the policy to new employees and consistently discussing it throughout their time at the company, it encourages an open dialogue about behavior that may not be illegal but can still be problematic. Similar to the approach taken by Strategyzer, those responsible for enforcing Baird's policy understand that rudeness is not a fixed characteristic and that individuals are not immediately dismissed for minor mistakes. Even Beth Kavelaris, the director of culture and integration at the organization, acknowledged receiving feedback in the past that prompted her to reassess her own behavior. Kavelaris remembered receiving a message from her boss criticizing her listening skills, admitting she had interrupted her during the conversation. She acknowledged that she has improved since then and has not received similar feedback in a while. Recently, Garg, who had fired 900 employees via Zoom, issued an apology to his Better.com team, expressing regret for not showing enough respect and appreciation to those affected. He vowed to do better, promising transparency and sharing goals for 2022. His judgment arrived at a time when most companies are focused on retaining talent, as having a strong staff is essential for meeting objectives. Many companies are recognizing that misconduct can significantly deplete their workforce. Darrisaw, from C-Suite Coach, assists companies in evaluating ways to enhance their workplace culture by questioning clients about any increase in team members wanting to leave. "That frequently indicates the type of management approach being used. At times, employees may publicly identify their cruel colleagues, while in other situations, this task is left to those who are leaving the company. This suggests that the departure season could create problems for the unpleasant individuals." ©2022 The New York Times Company.