If Birdwhistell, in his travels, had been looking not for smiles but for smirks , Chatterbox strongly suspects he would have found lots of them on the smile-barren East Coast, especially in the vicinity of its prep schools and Ivy League universities . Here's a thought  Summon up a mental image of Ali McGraw, the smirkiest performer in the history of the movies.
There would have been people smirking at Bidwhistell in the East Coast.