Her: Nooooo I want the dog 🥺
Her: Can we have shared custody of it
Student: No, I’ve seen you kick him after a tough day at work. I won’t allow it
Her: That was only 1 time 🙁
Her: Saw you try and put him in the microwave once 

He’s a labrador, how on earth would he have fit in the microwave?? This is why it never worked between us (her name)
 This message works as a continuation of the joke while also framing the student as the one who initiated the break up, putting him in the position of power.