Her: It never worked between us because I caught you flirting with that McDonald’s waitress. I will see you in court if you don’t give up the dog
Student:I told you there was nothing between us, I kept going back to that particular McDonald’s because they do the best big macs
Her: I saw you! You can have her anyway, the dog and I have left the country. You’ll never find us

Shame, the make up sex would have been phenomenalUnless you disagree
 This message works here as it continues the joke but opens up a sexual dialogue. This is a good message to send if you have proposed something and the girl hasn’t responded. The message implies you’re entitled and expecting a response from her without getting needy or butthurt.