text: JK irving Mystic Flower 
   
   
     
   
  I was sitting at my chair in the kitchen watching my daughter play outside. She was only three bubbly. And in my eyes very angelic, she was playing on her slide, up and down she went, laughing and giggling as she played. My mind wandered back before she was born, I met her dad whose name was David at my karate class, he was doing his moves and I remember thinking he was hopeless at it, he looked over to me and smiled I thought how nice he looked, he walked over to me and said “hello my names David and I saw you looking over were you admiring my moves”, I smiled at him and said “ you have a lot to learn”. We started to chat about the class and he said that he had not been going for long. I smiled at him and asked him if he would like a coffee, he agreed and we went into the cafe. I remember thinking how handsome he was and very soft spoken, he seemed very gentle and kind I liked him already and did not know much about him. I intended to find out a lot more about him. 
  We sat and talked for hours, I found out he had just started the class and had not learnt very much I told him I had been going for y ear and was a black belt as far as I could go in this class, I would have to go to advanced class to learn more. He looked at me and seemed very impressed. We  said our goodbyes and arranged to see each other at a later date, he was going to phone me and plan a date. I went home thinking how nice he was and I was looking forward to him ringing.The next day I was all on edge waiting for him to ring. Eventually he rang and we arranged a day and time to meet,,we were meeting at the local pub, it was not far from were I lived it was about two roads over. I did not know how far it was for David to go I had totally forgot to ask where he lived, I thought I would find out everything about him . I arrived at the pub first and sat in a corner of the pub not wanting to seem really keen,I got my drink and waited for David. 
  I glanced around the pub and thought how dark and dingy it was it had been a long time since I was there , it seemed years ago since I was there, I was looking at the decor and it was all nicotine stained walls and the bar, the varnish was peeling off. The barmaid looked fed up and overworked, she was sat at the end of the bar wating to serve someone. I could not help but feel sorry for her. Just then in walked David I was pleased to see him I felt a bit awkard sitting there on my own  David walked in with a big smile on his face, he sat down beside me and planted a kiss on my cheek, he seemed ever so pleased to see me. He asked me if I would like a drink and I said yes, he brought over the drinks and we sat and talked for ages and had a great night. I could not believe how late it was,David said "I will take you home, it is late for you to be walking home yourself".He walked me home and we stood talking what seemed like hours.   
  I never thought about inviting him inside my flat I thought it was a bit soon,we eventually said our goodbyes with a long lingering kiss. We arranged to meet the following weekend and I was quite looking forward  to it. I worked  in a office selling insurance, it was pretty boring but I had lots of friends there, Nancy and Betty sat opposite me in the office I could not wait to tell her about David they were both amazed when I began to tell them about him they wanted to know everthing about him. We had to be careful as our boss often walked around the office and if she caught you messing around you would be in deep ,her name was Ann and she was a force to be reckoned with if you got in her bad books you stopped there, we were having a good natter when low and behold there she was standing right next to us , we jumped back on the computer and dropped our heads down and got on with our work. 
  We decided we would meet after work for a quick drink and knowing them the topic of the conversation would be me and David, Nancy said "where did you meet him I need to know everything about him " You know when I thought about him Italked to him alot but did not know much about him, I had to find out 
  We walked backhome hand in hand, I just knew we were destined to be together.We got to my home and we kissed for what seemed like hours but he had to go to work the next day , so we said our goodbyes and he left , I felt a great ache in my stomach as he left, we had not discussed meeting again so I was quite worried that he would not ring. My doubts were unfounded, he rang the next day,We arranged to meet the following weekend, he had booked us into a hotel. I thought that was a bit presumptious but I was excited anyway.Friday night I was running around getting things ready my mum was laughimg at me and said "you would think you had not been on a date before".I said mam he is special"she got stuck in and helped me pack. David picked me up the following morning  and we had the most beautiful weekend. 
  We had been going out for a few months when David popped the question and asked me to marry him , both sets of parents were thrilled whem we told them. We planned our wedding it was to be a small affair but very tasteful, the day came and everything went smooth, we went to Benidorm for a week after the wedding and had a fabulous time, it was pretty cold but that did not stop us enjoying every minute.We arrived back home and immediately started looking for a home of our own.We found a lovely little house with a small back garden Ihad always loved gardens, I got it all decorated from top to bottom and I could not wait for David to come home and see it He arrived home from work and was amazed at the changes,I had made a lovely meal for the both of us and we sat down at the table in my newly decorated dining room, David could see I was dead chuffed at my work. He said "you should be very pleased with yourself you have done a fabulous job I can see there is going to be nothing for me to do".  
  Davids job took him away a lot he was a buyer for a large pharmacy company it was a great job but I missed him a lot,we made  the most of the weekend and went out most of the weekend and spent the rest of it in bed . My mother often said "I see you most of the week but you disapear at the weekend, but I understand you want to be by yourselves.David went away the Monday morning I was missing him already, I went to work and arranged a night out with my friends, we went to the local night club and my mates were a in a boisteres mood The guy who owned the nightclub was hanging around us alnight and my mates thought he was  quite fancying me , I must admit he was a good laugh, he had me in stitches all night.I t was a great night I had not enjoyed myself like that for a long time, I said goodbye to my mates and went for the taxi, I was waiting my turn to be picked up when I heard this voice say"come on I will give you a lift home, I am finished now". 
  I was a bit wary but he was going my way and he had been great fun all night, I got in the car feeling guilty but excited after all I was doing nothing wrong, so why did I have those butterfly feelings in my stomach, it felt weird like your first sexual encounter.We talked all the way home and he was still exciting me god I hated thinking those thoughts in my head, I wanted him to touch me, place his lips on mine. I had to stop thinking like this I loved David. just in time we arrived at my home I said goodnight and thanked him for the lift, He looked up at me and let out a beautiful smile and said it was his pleasure, my legs went like jelly it took all my strengh to stand up ,I could not believe what I said "come in for a coffee if you like"." that would be great" 
      We walked inside and I put the kettle on I told him to sit down I would not be long ,i brought him coffee all the time thinking this was wrong but I could not stop myself. I sat down opposite him and we started talking about this and that I felt it was all trevia, I that it would be gracious to ask his name ,"I never asked your name mines Emma,"mines Tony and i have had a fabulous night you have been great fun" "thanks I feel the same way", I had to tell him I was married but the words would not come out . Why  was I feeling this way I hardly knew this man but I was very attracted to him ,nothing could happen I could not betray David I loved him to much. Where was my friends when I needed them, Tony came over and sat beside me and we carried on talking for what seemed like hours he was great to talk to I felt as if I could tell him anything, before we knew it was getting light and I had to be up for work ,fat chance off me going to bed the thoughts running through my mind about Tony. He said goodbye and "I hope to see you anthother time maybe when you pop in the club. 
  I went to work the next day  and could not wait to tell my mates what happened , when I finished telling them Betty said "Emma your playing with fire be careful what you do this Tony does not seem the type to take no for an answer someone is going to get hurt here I can just feel it". I just shook my head and said "nothing is going to happen I wont see him again" I went to bed that night thinking about David ,  I woke up the next morning with a terrible hangover thinking I will never drink again. I got off to work and got through the day with a terrible headache, all the girls were on top of the world it must have been just me I must have had a lot to drink last night. Got home and slipped straight into the bath, I lay there and soaked for what seemrf like hours, I must have fell asleep because I woke with a start someone was ringing the doorbell, I shouted "wont be a minute"as I slipped on my dressing gown . I went to the door and opened it to find Tony standing there, I could not believe he had turned up.I stood looking at him until he said " have I called at a bad time I can come back later"no I said come in " Tony came in and sat down, 
  [ should have known I was tempting fate., now was the time to tell him to go . Something inside of me was saying god I really fancy you and I could tell he felt the same, I offered him coffee and we sat next to each other I kept thinking I was doing nothing wrong I was just having a drink with a friend . Why was I feeling so guilty.we talked for what seemed hours and he was great company with David been away so much, I was doing nothing wrong he was a friend so I kept telling myself but deep down I knew there was an attraction between us , the way he kept looking at me he had a lovely twinkle in his eyes he was so sexy, He was a lot taller than David and  bigger, he certainly worked out,I thought it was about time he went home I had to get up for work the next  day, I turned to him and said "I think it is getting a bit late I have to get up early", sorry he said I have kept you up I hope to see you later, he left giving me a peck on the cheek.  
  I was wondering if I had been reading the signs wrong maybe he thought of me as a friend and that was all, never mind I had nothing to feel guilty about nothing had happened, I went to work the next morning and decided not to tell my mates about Tony coming over, I just felt a bit akward  if they started asking me questions I could not answer he did not come on to me but deep down inside I think I wanted him to. Iwas not with it all day I was pleased when it was time to go home  I had just got in and mum rang saying she was ging to pop over god I could not wait I just wanted to be on my own, There I go again feeling guilty about not seeing mum, she only came over once a week. She came over and I put the kettle on mum loved her tea, she said I feel as if I havent seen you for ages, I just looked at her and thought how careing she was, she had always looked after me and my brother Reece, he was a couple of years older than me he was happily married to Angie they had two kids four and six the boy josh and issy .were darlings and I absoultely adored them, my brother was a manager of a big store and he liked his job a lot he was always talking sbout it. 
  Getting back to mum she said " you look as if you have got something on your mind  tell your mam whats troubling you" before I knew what was happening I was blurting out everthing about Tony it was a load of my mind I needed to tell someone I knew my mam would not judge me. she just sat and looked at me and shook her head "dont see this Tony anymore he is going to break your heart I know its exciting but you have to think about David and what kind of life you  would have if you had an affair with this man" " mam he excites me when I am with him I tingle all over when he is talking to me , I cant ever feeling this way abbout David maybe I did but I cant remember". "You are not seeing enough of David maybe you should ask him to get a job nearer home and that way you can see him all the time" maybe" I said , mum went home and I felt a bit better after talking to her I knew she would understand. I went to bed feeling much better. 
  The next day was Saturday and I thought I would go shopping with mum David was not getting back till late, I met her outside the carpark and decided to go for something to eat first, we went into a small cafe and ordered our snack we were busy talking when ther was a tap on my shoulder and when I turned to my amazement it was Tony he was standing there in a white jumper and black trousers he looked very tanned, his hair was sleeked back and I thought how gorgeous he was , I looked straight over to mum who immediately said "this must be Tony  I am pleased to meet you  I have heard a lot about you" Tony said he was pleased to meet her then looked at me and said" it was great bumping into you I might see you later" "mum jumped back and said her husband is due home tonight so I doubt you will see her". 
  Tony just looked at me and said "I did not know you were married never mind you never know what happens in the future" he smiled at me and gave mum a anxious look. mum said "that man is one to  be watched there is something about him he looks troubled. I told mam she was being silly and she just shook her head and said "watch out for that man he will break your heart. We finished our shopping and mum kept looking at me I asked her what was she looking at and she said"I can see what you see in Tony he is very appealing to any woman but you have got David who is safe and you know he will always be faithful to you with Tony you will have excitement but for how long", " okay mum I get the message be safe and secure with David. 
  I got home and sorted through what I had bought that day and was thinking about David comeing home that night, I prepared him a lovely dinner and got changed into my pyjamas. It was about six when he arrived, we cuddled and kissed, then he said he was starving and did I have anything to eat or we could order in ." you know I always have something cooked for you, god I have missed you" We had our meal and settled down to watch tv he told me all about his week and asked me if my week was alright I just nodded and said nothing happened this week it was boring. I asked David if he fancied getting  a job closer home as I was missing him. David said"I could earn the same kind of money I am earning now we have a nice life and you dont even have to work if you dont want to, what you need is a baby, someone to look after while I am away". 
  God I could not believe what he was saying I had never thought about haveing a family. We went to bed and it was beautiful, he was so careing, soft and tender. Tony had gone out of my mind, David was so attentive where making love was concerned, he made sure you were happy at the end of it. We had a great sunday, visited mam and she made Sunday lunch for us. It was nearly time for David to leave for another week I would miss him more for some reason I wanted him to stay but I knew he was right he had to go to work and ha ha keep me in the style I had been  used to. I saw him of on the Monday morning , I waved to him until his car was out of sight.Went to work and listened to all the gossip in the office and seriously thought about what David had said about finishing work and starting a family. 
  I went round the corner to my local deli for my usual coffee and sandwhich, I was sitting there thinking about things, how the deli was decorated and the lovely smells , all the cakes were to die for all the different colours the counter looked like a work of art. I was aware of somene looking at me when I looked up it was Tony he asked if he could sit and I said yes I said "dont tell me you frequent this place as well" " no I followed you from work, actually I saw you wave your husband off this morning" this was not good anymore it was getting pretty scary," I would not like to think you were stalking me." he just smiled and ran his hands through his hair, he looked like a small boy that had just been caught in the cookie jar,I  could not resist his boyish charm, he looked so cocky amd sexy.He asked if I fancied going for a walk I really should be getting back to work but he looked at me in a certain way and I could not resist. 
  We walked down through the park he talked and talked half the time I did not know what he was saying , he was talking about his business but I was not that interested I think he knew he said "am I boring you" no I said my mind was else where, I was thinking about David and I could have a child with him, I did not tell Tony what I was thinking." penny for your thoughts" I just looked over to him and smiled he was not husband material but he was great for an affair not for me I was going to start a family with David, I tried really hard to get rid of Tony that day , I felt as if I was betraying David in some way I was not doing anything wrong but I knew if it was left to Tony he would  try to make things happen. I was noy going to give him the chance I said "you will have to go now I have an appointment later and I have to go home to change "I could come with you and keep you company if you like", I shuddered at the thought of it I said no I would be alright on my own. 
   I walked home. thinking this was not the end I had gotten in to a situation that was going to be hard to get out of, nevertheless I went home and got cosy for the night, I was watching tv and there was a knock at the door for one moment I thought it would be Tony when I answered the door it was my mum, she had decided to pop over for a cuppa, "hows things going sweetheart hope you have not heard from Tony" "no I havent heard from him dont think I will". We had a good natter and she left for home, it was a nice surprise mum dropping in.I settled down in bed when the phone rang it was Tony asking if he could pop over I told him not to bother me anymore  I was happily married and intended to stay that way there was a long pause I thought he had hung up the phone then he said in a weird voice he would stop away if thats what I wanted, I put down the phone and felt very uneasy. I did not get much sleep that night.I decided to give work a miss and have a relaxing day at home and catch up with some of my chores. 
  I got most of my work done and then I started hoovering when I felt a prescence at the doorway when I turned there was Tony standing there with a weird smile on his face, I screamed at him" what the hell are you doing in my home and how did you get in" he just looked at me and said "the door was unlocked you want to be careful anyone could get in" I asked him to leave he just stood there he turned to the door and locked it ,I asked him what he was doing but he just took my hand as I tried to pull away he glared at me and pushed me down on the sofa. I could not believe what was happening this was not good I had to try and talk to him or get help.He sat next to and said "we have something special cant you feel it I have felt it from the moment we met there is noway anybody else was going to get you, you belong to me. He started to stroke my hair and rub my head, was I dreaming this I was in a nightmare and I could not get out. 
  His hands started to carress my shoulders, then my breasts, he started undressing me and instead of feeling scared it was weird I felt excited, this cant be normal I should not be feeling like this, he lay me back on the sofa and was touching my thighs slowly rubbing his hands up and down, it felt great in the background I could hear Tina Turner singing simply the best, I was getting washed away by the song and what was happening, he rolled on top of me and started kissing me with so much passion my head was swimming he was taking me to heights I had never been before, I thought it would never end he kept me lingering in ectasy for what seemed like hours, when we eventually stopped I could not breathe, Tony just stared down at me and smiled nothing was spoken he just got up and got dressed and went out of the door closeing it quietly behind him. 
  I got in the shower and thought was this man real I had never felt like this  before, I was still aching all over just thinking about him, I was already wondering when he would get in touch with me. I did not have to wait long the phone rang and it was Tony he aked if everything was alright and how I was feeling about what had happened. I told him it was wrong what we had done but I did not regret it for a minute. He asked to see me again and take me out for a meal. I agreed to meet him the next day at a restaurant in the town, after the phone call I sat and thought I did not know much about him, he owned nightclubs all over I knew that much but I did not know where he lived did he have family did he have a girlfriend. I thought I would find out a lot more when I met him the next day. Did not get a wink of sleep that night, knew I was doing wrong but found it so exciting. 
  Went into the restaurant, I hated the thought that I had turned up early but nevertheless I did not wait long before Tony came walking in, god he liked his-self he walked over to me and sat down and said "hope you have not been waiting long " I just shrugged and said"no I got here just minutes before you",we ordered lunch and had a glass of wine which I never did drink on the afternoon, after a couple of drinks I told him I wont have anymore I was feeling a bit whoozy. I started asking him about family and his job and I asked him where he lived, he was a bit coy with his answers but I found out he had no family here they lived in Spain they had been out there a long time they preferred the warm climate, he had both his parents and one sister, he said he lived at the canary wharf he had an apartment there.I thought god he must be loaded with money, I found out he had a good few nightclubs. 
  I asked if he had a girlfriend he just smiled and said" only you" I smiled back then he beckoned for the waiter and paid the bill, we sat in my car for a while talking then he said should we go back  to your place and I nodded. We drove back to my house and just as we arrived in the drive I noticed Davids car was there the panic I felt was unbearable, I just looked at Tony and I think he knew what was happening, the door opened and David walked out, "Emma sorry i am home early " we both got out of the car and Tony just stood there glaring at David , I hated the way he was looking at David this was my husband how dare he."this is my workmateTony we were going to have a coffee I blurted out, David immediately went to shake Tonys hand "nice to meet you"he said why dont you come in for a coffee dont mind me ". The three of us went inside ,I fully expected Tony to decline the offer but he did not. 
  We sat at the table and I could see David seemed very excited I was wanting to ask him what the good news was because judging from his actions it could not be bad. I looked at Tony and suggested  it was time for him to be going or he would miss his train, he just stood up and said"it has been nice meeting you David hope to see you again" then he left,   After Tony left I could see David was brimming over with excitment I said "come on why are you back early and what is the news you have" He turned to me , cupped my face in his hands and said "I have been made manager of the year and they have gave me a holiday for a week in Rome to take now how are you fixed for time of work"." I will make time i have always wanted to go to Rome god the Vatican and all those sites to see when can we go" He had booked it for the next day so I got packed in a hurry I hoped I had taken everthing  I phoned my mum and explained what was happening and she was thrilled she said she would keep an eye on the house. 
  I ran upstairs and started to pack for both of us it took me a couple of hours but I was there all finished, then I remembered shampoo we had none there was a corner shop at the bottom of our street,  I told David I would not be long I grabbed my coat and went to the shop, got the shampoo and was walking up the street when I was grabbed from behind and when I turned it was Tony."we got away with that it could have been nasty but he did not relise anything was going on did he".I was startled  I could not believe he had hung around all that time he was getting scary. I walked up the back alley with him I thought the least I could do is to explain what was happeneing i told him David and I were going away to Rome for a week.I could not believe the look on his face you would have thought I had told him someone had died suddenly I felt so sad for Tony I put my arms around him and said how sorry I was "sorry does not cut it babe you just cannot go, the thought of you sleeping with him makes my blood curdle" I will have to go David wll be waiting for me" please dont go stay with me he said, I pulled  away and I could hear him crying as I ran down the street. 
  I got home and David was waiting for me ,"where have you been I was going to look for you", I told him I had got carried away talking to the neighbours. "I am so excited about tomorrow I dont think I will get any sleep"," just try we have a long day tomorrow". We got up t he next day and we were all packed, we got into the taxi and off we went to the airport, we had a quick drink and something to eat and we were on the plane . David was a bit nervous about flying but he coped well, we got thrugh the customs at the other end and boarderd the coach to the hotel. When we arrived at the hotel it looked great from the outside, in we went and it was just as nice inside we were all inclusive so there was no cooking just sunbathing and sightseeing. The room was very nice and the bed was cosy, we unpacked and went down for dinner, we decided to go sightseeing after dinner and off we went David and I decided to stay close to the hotel for the first day and go on a organised tour the next day.We had a great sleep and got ready for the tour ,they were picking us up at ten we were there eager and waiting ,we were going to see the vatican, when we arrived I could not believe it , it was like something out of a story book, the big square and the soldiers guarding the pope, everything was clean and white and there was men selling there goods all around, there was handbags everything under the sun for sale. 
  We had a fantastic day and were really tired by the end of the day, we decided to go back to the room and have a nap before going out on the night. We got ready after having a great sleep and went to the nearest club, I had a lot to drink that night and was feeling a bit whoozy,David decided to take me back to our room, he put me into bed after taking my clothes off, I was feeling a bit fruity and pulled him into bed with me we made love like never before, he was so good at fulfilling my needs ,carressing me all over taking me to dizzy heights. I thought this was a different man I was with, god it lasted what seemed like hours I was completely exhausted by the time he was finished, Ifell straight to sleep without going in the shower I was so tired. The next morning I could not keep my hands of him, I think he was a bit embarrased when I said it was wonderful last night,"I thought i was wonderful every time",David said, I just smiled at him and said "you are great every time".The rest of the holiday was fantastic and I never gave Tony a second thought I was enjoying my time with David. 
  We arrived back home and boy was I pleased I was totally wrecked my mum had got milk and bread in for us and left us a meal ready for the micky, she was so thoughtful at times like this. We had the lovely meal and retired to bed , the next morning we decided to have a lazy day before we went back to work the next day,we both had said we had a fantastic time in Rome a holiday we will not forget. The next day I waved David off to work and got for the office, I was on flexy time so I could please myself when I went in I decided to get in for ten that way I could finish early and catch up with my washing and unpacking.I told all the girls about the holiday they said they were jealous but pleased for me ,David would be away for a couple of days so I had plenty of time to catch up, I was having a couple of minutes on the phone to my mum telling her all about the holiday she was really pleased I  had enjoyed it I think she had been a bit worried about me seeing Tony. I had just sat down for a cup of coffee when the doorbell went, I  opened the door and standing there was Tony I could not believe it he had took no notice of anything I had said, at the same time I felt sorry for him he had a childlike look on his face I asked him what he wanted he just said "you I want you so much we belong together". I was flabbergasted I had to explain to him I loved David and after the holiday we were closer than ever, the look of pain on his face was awful but there was no other way to tell him, he just looked at me and walked away I got the feeling that was not the last I would see of him 
  I put Tony out of my mind and got on with a normal life just me and David. Weeks went by and we were both enjoying our time together, going to work and odd days out when Monday morning I did not feel to well I booked an appointment for the doctors and he asked me for a blood test and a water sample. I felt terrible all week on the Friday I phoned the docs and asked for my resulta , she said you have to come down to see the doctor so I popped straight down I sat down and he said" Emma I am pleased to tell you there is nothing wrong with you ,you are pregnant about two months are you pleased". I just stared at him I could not believe it I just told him thank-you and walked out.  I went straight round to mums and told her she was thrilled , she kept hugging me and crying. "I will have to start knitting just like grandmas do", I just started to laugh more with excitment I could not wait to tell David,I had to wait a couple of days before he came home. Iwent to see the nurse and she gave me all the details  of booking in hospital and appointments to be kept, god I could not stop thinking about it I felt like a real woman, hands were rolling around my stomach, feeling very protective about my tummy. 
  David came home and I had prepared a meal and a bottle of wine, he came into the dining room and asked what was the occasion, when I told him he stared for a moment then he jumped for joy "I am thrilled to bits how far are you" two months I said ,"god that was just before our holiday or it could have been then"."maybe who cares when and where   I am pregnant and I am thrilled to bits.David agreed and said he was thrilled to bits , we decided for me to stop work and concentrate on my pregnancy. I would be a lady of lesiure for the next seven months The months went by. and I got fatter and fatter. I spent the months being pampered by David and my mum, my mates were great they would meet me for a pub lunch and take the micky out of my swollen ankles and my fat belly we always had a good laugh, I always went home feeling loads better. Anyway the time arrived and I had a beautiful baby girl, she was fabulous so small and petite, David was thrilled to bits I just knew she was going to be spoilt by all my friends and family.A few weeks later when the weatherwas fine I decided to take my gorgeous baby girl who we named Emma after me, I was walking through the town and I met loads of people  who I had not seen for years they were all gooing over Emma Ifelt so proud ,I know everyone thinks there baby is the best but Emma was so cute she had been born with black curly hair and great big blue eyes, anyway I eventualy got on my way when I got the shock of my life I look up from the pram and standing there was Tony. 
  I just stood there looking at him and he was doing the same, we eventualy smiled at each other and he said"hello Emma how are you doing are you babysitting for someone" "no this is Emma my baby she is a month old" his expression changed his face went ashen white I did not relizse at the time what was wrong with him, he bent over the pram and said" what do you think Emma she could be mine, and smiled ". Do you know I never gave it a thought, but I know she is David . He just smiled again and walked away, I felt a bit uneasy and could not get it out of my mind all night. I put Emma to bed and sat with a coffee and reflected on when I was with Tony I got out a pencil and paper and worked out the dates of my pregnancy and sure enough it was probaly more Tonys rather than Davids ,I could not believe I had never thought about it before, Tony must never know there is the slightest chance she could be his . 
  The years just flew by and me and David and of course Emma just got on with family life, I often wondered how we coped wihout haveing Emma she had brought such joy into our life. She was playing in the garden and of course me being the protective mother never let her out of my sight, she was giggling comeing down the slide , just then the phone rang I looked at Emma playing and the phone was only in the hallway I could see Emma so I ran in and took the call ,it was mum asking how Emma was I said she is busy on the slide you bought her and enjoying it , she promised to come over later to let me go shopping. I put down the phone and turned to walk into the garden, I could not hear her laughter. I panicked and ran straight into the garden, she was gone there was noway she could have got out the fence was to tall . Someone must have lifted her over the fence,every thought was passing through my mind. I immediatly rang the police they came straight away, I tokd them what had happened. 
  They started to write things down and I was screaming "should you not be out looking for her she could be anywhere." he told me to calm down and asked for a photo of her and they would make house to house inquiries someone must have seen something. When I calmed down I rang my mum who came straight over, she kept saying they would find her but deep in the back of my mind I knew they would not , maybe they thought that she had stolen to order.David came straight home and was devasted, I am sure he was blaming me for her being taken.I could not blame him I was in charge of her, never mind I had to concentrate on finding Emma, I would find her if it was the last thing I did. Weeks went by and the police were doing there best but getting nowhere, I decided the next day I would go further afield and try to find her ,someone must know something. 
  I told David what I was going to do and he said I was wasting my time if the police could not find her what chance have I got.The next day I was bright and early ,the first thing I did was throw the tablets down the loo, the doctor daid I was in a bad way so he gave me tablets to calm me down I needed all my wits about me now .I did not have David on my side so I would go it alone, I thought I would start by asking  Ada next door if she had seen anybody, I rang her doorbell and she opened the door "I havent seen you for ages ,I have been away for a month to Spain did you miss me" I explained what had happened to Emma she was devasted ,she asked  what day and date it was because just before she had gone away she had noticed a man hanging around the garden, I begged her to remember what he looked like and she started telling me, I must have went a funny colour because she said "you alright Emma" I told her I was ,but I was thinking she was describing Tony, I had never gave him a thought but when I thought about it that time I had met him in town he really believed Emma was his, I had to find him to find Emma, how was I going to explain this to David. 
  I was walking home trying to think what to say to David he would be heartbroken if I told him the truth, there was no way out of it I would tell him it was something I had regreted and I was so sorry he had to forgive me , I needed his help to find Emma I could not do it on my own. I arrived at home and looked at Davids face and I could see the pain,"the police will find Emma David said you dont have to worry I know that is a lot to ask but they will find her". I nodded and looked at him , how was I going to explain to him what I thought had happened. I sat down beside him and said "I have something to tell you, I think I know who took Emma". He just looked at me and said " spill the beans then tell me what you think you know". I held his hand and told him everything about Tony and everything about the affair, when I had finished he just sat there staring at me in a odd manner. 
  "Please forgive me it would never happen again I dont know how it happened, please forgive me please", he just looked at me and shook his head and said " I could never forgive you never ever I dont even know if Emma is my child its more likely to be this Tonys". I could not believe what he was saying "I need you to help me find her please help me ,he just shrugged his shoulders and said leave it to the police", I just looked at him and said I would find her myself, how I was going to find her, where to begin. I knew he had owned a couple of night clubs in the town I would start there, I went round to mums and explained everything she just sat and looked at me" I just knew no good would become of this I knew he was a bad sort the minute I saw him"."O mam please dont say I told you so I could not bear it". 
  I was determined to find her without anybodys help it would probably be easier and quicker. I thought I would stay at mums that night and start fresh in the morning also I dont think I could have faced David just yet. I got up nice and early deterined to get some answers at the night club. I got the taxi down town and found the nightclub was shut it didnot open till night -time I thought I would busy myself in the town to kill a bit time. I went to the pub and had lunch and a couple of coffees.I was sitting at the table just thinking about Emma she would be missing me , she would be with strangers not knowing anybody she would be scared ,my heart was breaking I needed her back now, just then sitting next to me were a couple of girls talking about her shift on the night it was the same club I was going to that night. 
  I leaned over and said "excuse me I could not help but overhear you saying where you worked I was wondering if there was any jobs going ", she said ther might be she was in charge and asked me to pop down that night for a interview I said I would be there and thanked her. Iwas getting closer to Tony if I got the job, luky for me I did a stint of bar work in my uncles pub when we went there on holiday. I went for the interview and got the job I told her I could start straight away in fact that night, I thought  I could find out about Tony  from the girls I would be working with,I had put a few weeks holiday in with my job I was pleased to have them in hand I went to work the next day I had to go in early to get to know the pub ,Tracy was there to greet me and show me the ropes .I looked around the pub and it was very trendy, everything was marble and gold the cleaners must have done a great job it was spotless. I started getting the knack of the till it was a piece of cake it was the same one I had been useing in my uncles pub.I was introduced to Lorna and  Debbie they were great so helpful. 
  Deb brought out a uniform and said I could change in the back room, I changed and looked at myself in the mirror it was a bit skimpy. short black skirt and white shirt it did not leave much to the imagination but this was a means to an end. I started to ask deb about Tony where he lived a nd did he have a partner, she said "Tony lives a coulple of miles away in that posh place where all the footballers live, he is living with a girl called  Lindahe is such a nice lady she often pops i she is absolutely gorgeous, tall and slim, fantastic figure, he has been with her for a long time they are not married but I think they will eventually. She is a great lady she often pops in to make sure we are coping, the only problem she has is she cant havk and make him suffe any children but I heard they are ready to adopt a little girl at any time. I could not believe what I was hearing he just used me to have a child , God was I going to make him pay I dont care how it gets done but I will get my child back and make him suffer. 
  How could a man take away another persons child, granted he might think its his but I would have made sure first and gone through the right channels., anyway getting back to the job in hand how was I going to do this. I had got into the pub now I had to find a way through his minders to get to him. I started work that night and it was very busy , mind I liked it like that it kept my mind occupied, just as I was serving I heard two men talking about Tony, he was expected to be in that night , I could not let him see me that would give the game away. I got much closer to those two men and found out that they were a sort of minders men who looked after Tony, he must be much bigger than I thought, from what I could gather from listening to them Tony was here for a meeting with the brewery, they were going to extend his lease on the pub, 
  I kept thinking about David ,how he had changed about me ,he never had two words to say to me , granted I had an affair but I thought we could get through this, Emma could still be his how was he going to react when I got back Emma, would he resent her, I would have to prove she was his.Just as I was serving a drink I glanced at the door and in walked Tony, he was still as handsome, looking at him this time he looked very sure of himself, he walked with a swagger and really thought a lot of himself.Iwent to the end of the bar and tried to hide myself, I was just waiting for my chance to approach him on his own , he sat down at a table with some men and they looked deep in conversation, I sat in the corner hopeing no one would want serving. I sat there for a while and saw Tony stand up and go towards the toilet, this was my chance to catch him , I followed him in hopeing no one would come in .When he came out I was standing there,right in front of him. 
  I just stood there looking at him and words would not come out of my mouth , I noticed Tony face was a picture he looked quite put out I was standing there,"I want my daughter backTony or I go to the police and let them deal with you, you will be charged with kidnapping my daughter and god knows what else", he looked at me and said" she is my daughter and I have every right to have her I will fight you in the courts, she is well looked after by my patner and me , dont cause any trouble or you will regret it.". "I am taking her back Tony", just then the door opened and in walked the two men who were his minders, he walked over to them and said something to them and they immediately turned around and one of them put his hand over my mouth and the other one grabbed my hands and carried me ot of the pub out the back way, I rember hearing Tonys last words ringing in my ears " I did warn you". 
  I was bound and gagged and bundled in the back of a car and they drove away ,I could hear one of them on the phone I presume to Tony, I did not relise how important he was amongest people you dont want to know.We drove for quite a long time and eventually stopped, I presumed they were just going to drop me off in the middle of nowhere how wrong I was, me  they dragged me out of the car into a large building which looked like a wharehouse, they pulled me into an office type building and pushed me onto a sofa type thing. Theypulled of my gag and  I shouted" you have had your fun now lads its time to let me go, The biggest of the blokes turned and looked at me , next thing I knew his fist was across my face, I screamed and fell back. The other one shouted" okay thats enough we were told to rough her up and thats all", "Tony told us to make sure she did not bother him anymore she does not look very scared to me". 
  The other bloke grabbed me by the shoulders and started shaking me,  I felt as if my head was falling off. I felt as if I was going to pass out, I did the next thing I saw was the door closeing and the key going in the lock. I kept thinking this is serious they are going to teach me a lesson, funny enough I was not  scared,  I should have been but I just kept thinking how desperate Tony must feel to do this to me. I was going to show him I could beat him at his own game, I could look after myself and get Emma back and teach him a lesson he would never forget, I was going to hurt his family and see what he felt like. It felt like days I was stuck there I lost all track of time, I was beginning to despair when aia heard noises comeing from the other side of the door I had managed to loosen the rope around my hands but kept them behind me. 
  The door opened and two different men came in and they just kept smiling,they were looking at me really weird and I must admit I was not scared before but these two were making me feel uneasy. the tallest one and looked meanest walked over to me and said "would you like a bit fun before you go, I certainly. would, lets have a bit of fun hey darling". He started stroking my hair and he slid his hands down my neck, he was grinning all the time he was doing it. his mate was behind him laughing and egging him on. I knew what was going to happen but I just wished they would do it and get it over with, there was no way I could fight the two of them, the best way to go was to let it happen . They looked the type that enjoy a struggle, they were not going to enjoy it that much. He Started to unfasten his fly, he bent over me and ripped open my blouse, of came my bra, he was breathing really heavy and the smell of body odour was terrible. 
  He slid down his pants and lay on top of me, he was sqeezing my breasts hard and slipped his hands down below, he kept saying "are you enjoying this as much as me darling". I could have been sick, he put in his penis and started moving up and down on me, his breath was heavy, I thought he would pass out before he was finished but he managed to the end , he just flopped on top of me, all this time his mate was dribbling from the mouth and asking when was his turn. I tryed to push him off but he was so fat and heavy, I could feel him still inside of me I thought any longer and I would have been sick all over him. to I could not stand the thought of the other one doing the same, lucky enough the phone rang and the other one said "we have to get rid of now Tony is comeing over now we will be in dip shit if he finds out what we have done. 
  The fat one stood up and they both grabbed me by the neck and started kicking me and slapping me, I fell to the floor and they carried on kicking me, I got to the point I could not take anymore, just at the moment they stopped and flung me on the sofa, they said they had to stop there till Tony arrived he wanted to make sure I had taken notice of his warning because there would not be a next time "Tony must really have it in for you I have never known him to be this mean you must have done something really bad". I just shook my head and thought you dont knowmean by the time I was finished  he would know what mean really is that included fat man and his mate. I noticed the fat man had a bulge in his shirt I presumed it was some kind of  gun, I was looking at his shirt and it was not there, I glanced around the room and he had placed it on the shelf. 
  I asked the other one if I could go to the toilet and he said yes as long as he could watch, I did not feel  at ease with this but he looked a bit thick and I thought this would be  the only chance I would get before Tony came.I got up and walked with this moron to the toilet I went inside and sat on the loo, he was standing there watching me with that stupid grin on his face,"we could have made some sweet music together maybe later after Tony has been hey sweetheart". I sat on the loo and asked him for some loo roll, I said there was some on top of the cuboard would he get it for me . He looked at me and smiled "its the least I can do I wont be a minute dont go anywhere". He left me on my own this was my chance, I stood up and could see the gun I just had to stretch and I would have it . 
  I did  not know if it was loaded but I had to take the chance, he awas stretching up for the loo roll at the same time I grabbed the gun , I slipped down my pants and stood up ," I thought you wanted the loo roll It was a false alarm" I said.he took me back to the sofa and sat me down they were both laughing at me it cut though me like a knife. I waited till they were both sitting down haveing a ciggy, I slipped the gun out of my pants walked towards them and pointed the gun at them, they both looked a bit shocked, fat boy just looked at me and smiled "you have not got the bottle to shoot" I just smiled at him and slowly lowered the gun pointed at his fly and said " what you did to me you wont be doing to anybody else I pulled back the trigger and fired, it had the desired effect he was screaming like a pig the blood was pouring down his legs, it would not be long before he bled to death , his mate was shouting for someone to help him. I felt as cold as ice. , I walked over to him and shot both his kneecaps out. 
  They were both writhing in pain and all I could do is smile there was only Tony to deal with, you know I thought you would not leave a dog in that kind of pain, so I shot them dead, hid them in the back of the office and waited. You know I was sitting waiting for Tony and thinking David should have been doing this, I had lost all respect for him he could have got tests to see if Emma had been his but no he thought about the affair thats all, she could be his child, but when this was all finished I dont think I could ever go back to him.  I needed a new start somewhere abroad maybe while Emma was still young enough,Tony was taking his time I thought he would be in a hurry to see what they had done to put the frightners on me. 
  I waited a couple of hours and relized he was not comeing, I heard a phone going and relized it was fat boys, I could not answer it so I just left it . I took the keys for the car and decided to find him myself. I put the gun in the boot of the car in case I got stopped by police and went back to the pub.Deb was busy serving when I went in she looked round and said "you are a fine one leaving us in the lurch last night, Tony has said I have to sack you, I feel awful about it but I have to let you go ".I said "Deb I need my wages straight away can you give me his address so I can collect them"," I am not supposed to but dont say I gave you his home address, she wtote it down and I thanked her.I arrived at the place he lived and got out of the car, I had a look around and noticed he had minders walking around the grounds, this was going to be tricky. 
  I noticed the gates were electric so I climbed over the wall  I landed not far from the house and crept up to the window I had the gun in my pocket and relizes there was a silencer with it I screwed it on I seemed to have adapted to useing a gun with no remorse about useing it .I could see a man walking through the grounds and he did not look very friendly, I thought iI am going to sort him out before I can get into the house. I picked up a large branch which had fell of the tree lucky for me I crept up behind him and hammered it across his head , he went down like a bag of hammers, really heavy. I grabbed him by the shoulders , how I pulled him I will never know. I pulled him into the green house and tied him up with garden twine, that really took it out of me  he was a big bloke . I still had to deal with the other one I had lost sightof him for the moment, I had to find him. I looked through the widow and thought it was pretty great ,  they had a beautifulhome from what I could see, I jumped down and hid behind the bushes, there was movement inside the room I could see a woman moveing around the room , I thought it would be Tonys partner. 
  Still had to find the other bloke before I could get in the house, just as I was thinking where to look he walked straight past me , I pulled out my gun and poked it into his back , he just froze and asked if that was what he thought it was I said yes and beckoned him to go in the house, he did as he was told and went inside .  When we got inside a woman came straight in and confronted us I told her to shut up and sit down, I asked her where Tony was and to get him here very quick and not to mention I was here ." make some excuse to get him back or else and by the way where is my daughter Emma",  
  "I dont know what you are talking about that is my daughter we adopted her" 
  "you liarTony took her from me, we had an affair and he thought she was his" 
  "yes I know  Tony told me all about it we planned it from the beginning when we found out you were pregnant she was going to be mine" 
  "How could you be so selfish to take a child away from her mother she could easy be Davids" 
  You will never get her back Tony and me will not allow it to happen what happened to you earlier will be twice as bad when Tony comes back" 
  She started to smile and asked if I had enjoyed the company of my two companions in the wharehouse. 
  "Did you know what was happening to me " 
  She just shrugged her shoulders and smirked again,who did she think this Tony was and god was she going to pay for what she had done to me.I told the two of them to sit together till Tony arrived, I did not have to wait long he walked into the hall, big strides,as if he was king of the jungle.  
  He asked if I thought I was clever and how I had got away and where was his men. 
  "Did you know what was happening to me and  were they carrying out your orders". 
  Listen you are not getting away with this and you are not getting Emma I can give her everything she needs you cant," 
  "Have your own child or is she barren, she cant have kids can she" 
  "sort it Tony she said get her out of here, the minder was sitting very quiet, I told him to get the garden twine I had brought in and tie Tony up , he did as he was told and you could see if I did not have the gun it would be a different matter, I was starting to gloat a bit now it was time for me to get a bit of my own back. I looked at the big fellow and told him to strip naked which he did straight away, Tony was giving me strange looks he could not understand was happening.I looked at Tony and said . 
  " I had an audience when I was getting raped you can watch your girlfriend go through the same thing, how do you feel Tony" 
  H was screaming and swearing and threating to kill me "how you have changed, you cried for me to stay with you" I said. I asked the man "what is your name I cant expect you to have sex with Tonys girlfriend without knowing your name" 
  " I am Ken " 
  "now Ken I would like you to have sex with this lady otherwise I will shoot you, so get on with it " 
  Poor Ken got on top of I later found out Lisa was her name and started to undress her, Tony started to shout at poor Ken that he would kill him if he touched Lisa, he was in a rock and hard place he either did the deed and Tony would get him or I would shoot him if he did not. Anyway he started to have sex with Lisa she starteinished andd to struggle , I told her not to struggle men liked that, I could not take my eyes of Tony while it was happeningthe look of pain was great to see after all I had been through he was haveing a taste of his own medicine. The look of hate was a sight to behold on Tonys face, 
  "I am going to kill youTony said there wont be a place for you to hide, I will find you". 
  Ken was finished and was shaking with fear, I think he was wondering what was going to happen to him. I felt so sorry for him ,so I told him to go and not come back, the look of relief on his face as he ran out of the house. I looked at Tony and the hatein his face was scary Tony looked at me and said kill me now or you will regret it, I looked at Lisa and she was pulling on her clothes and sobbing , so what she had put Tony up to this she was just getting payback. I knew looking at Tony I had to let him know I was not scared of him , without thinking the gun just rose from my hand and I pulled the trigger ,it hit the back of his chair and he did not even flinch. 
  He smiled at me and said " you have not got the bottle to shoot me , something snapped inside of me I raised the gun again and pointed at his chest and fired his face changed to an ashen colour and he slumped forward in his chair, it was not a fatal shot I got him in the shoulder.Lisa screamed and I told her to shut up, I tied her up she was hestrical but I had not gone through all of this to lose my child. 
  "Dont come looking for me Tony or I will kill you, next time find your own baby you are not haveing mine". 
  I left them both tied up and went upstairs, I heard laughter in the middle room and went inside, there she was Emma sitting there with teddy playing happily . She had no idea what mummy had gone through to get her back, she looked at me and gave me a big smile I was thrilled I picked her up and got out of the house quick, I jumped into the car and headed home. When I arrived at the house my mum was there she said how worried she had been I did not have time to tell her everything but she got the idea what had been happening. I ran upstairs to pack while mum organised a flight to Benidorm, she booked me on a package holiday to give me time to find an apartment to buy , I decided to live there , the flight was ont he evening so I had to be quick. We took my mums carand headed for the airport, there was plenty of tears there and I told mum what ever happens not to tell anyone anything as far as she was concerned I had vanished with Emma including family and David ,I told her I dont trust anyone, I would phone her and let her know how I was getting on . I told her I had got rid of all evidence that linked me with Tony, the gun had gone in the river. I said my goodbyes to mum and boarded the plane with Emma for new start. 
  the end 
   
   
   Publication Date: February 3rd 2013 https://www.bookrix.com/-juneirving