Kimberly Jackson No More Love For Me 
 
 
 No More Love For Me 
 
Past dreams 
Chapter 1 
Jenny was happy for once in her life. She was married to a great man and pregnant. What more could she ask for? 
She works for a dentist office. She got the job since she has known the boss all her life. She loved her job and she did it well. If she screwed up, she got her ass chewed long with everyone else. 
Her husband Jay is the best. He did not care that she did not have any family. He loved her and she knew it. He made her feel loved every day. He worked for himself as a PI. He was great at his job and made good money. 
This morning she got up and took her shower. Jenny is nine weeks pregnant and she has to go for a check-up she has to make sure the baby is growing right. She could not wait to go give her husband a kiss. She felt like they just got married though it has been three years. 
She could see from the hallway that his office door was open. She did not like pushing or pulling on that heavy oak door. She smiled and walked into the office. “Hi baby. I am going to the doctors I will be back in an hour or so.” She bent over the front of his desk and kissed Jay. 
“I love you. Come back and let me know how my baby is doing.” He told her wiggling his eyebrows. 
She drove the ten-minute ride to the doctor office. She was happier than she has ever been in her life. She had a great life that she worked hard to put together. She pulled into the parking lot turned off the engine and got out of her car. She let the sun beat down on her face for a minute; locked her car doors and walked inside the building. 
She walked up to the receptionist desk and signed the paper. She turned and sat down in the chair closest to the door. She did not have to wait long for her doctor to call her back in a room. 
He did his routine. He checked the size of her belly, checked the size of her cervix, and had her pee in a cup. When she was done with all that, he made sure she did not have any questions. When she told him, no he made an appointment for thirty days from the date. 
She knew everything was going to be fine. She walked back to her car started it and drove home. When she walked in, she was smiling. She walked up to her husband Jay and kissed him. The baby seems to be fine. The doctor said I do not have to come back for a month. “I am so excited were having a baby.” she said. 
He kissed her and said, “I am excited to. What did the doctor say?” She told him everything. Since there was nothing wrong or anything, she told him she was fine. She was a bit tired so she was going to relax in a bubble bath. 
He kissed her and squeezed him to her. “I love you with my heart, body, and soul.” He had this twinkle in his eyes. She loved seeing that because it meant he was happy. 
“I will let you soak. I am going to run to the store and by Ron’s house see if he needs a case.” 
She knew she took a shower this morning before she went to the doctors. However, she hated when she got a pap smear. It made her feel yucky. She walked into her bathroom and ran some bath water. The room was filling up with steam so she opened the window to let in some air. 
She relaxed in the tub for twenty minutes. Jenny felt great laying there her body felt relaxed. She got out and dried off. Thinking about what Jay was up to now. She looked in their room and Jay was not back yet. She did not think anything of it. When Jay got with friends, he liked to talk and she still did not know what he went to the store for. She got dressed and went to the kitchen to cook. 
Jenny laid the eggs, bacon, and sausage on the counter top getting ready to start breakfast. She grabbed a pan and put it on the stove. She heard a knock on the door. She sighed and wiped her hands on a towel so she could answer the door. 
She opened her door to see, two officers standing at her door. She knew it was bad news she could feel it in her gut but she said, “Yes can I help you?” 
The tall cop took off his hat and said, “Mrs. Carlton my name is officer Dodson and I have some bad news for you. Your husband was killed on the interstate by a drunk driver.” 
Jenny stood there staring at them. She was in shock. How could this happen? He just went to the store and he was going to be right back. 
“That’s not possible. He was going to the store and coming right bacShe said in a croak. 
She blinked once and felt the tears coming. She lost all feeling in her legs and sat on the arm of the chair. “How could this happen? I mean he only went to the store.” 
The officer was nice enough to stay with her until someone came to sit with her. She called her friend/boss from the office, Tina. She would get there in a flash. She could always count on Tina. They were more like sisters than they were friends. 
Tina did not knock on the door. She walked right in and over to Jenny. She wrapped her in a warm bear hug. “I am here sweetie. Cry if you feel the need too, scream if that will help you.” This is going to take some time but I am here for you. I will not leave until you ready to be alone. 
Jenny bawled into her friends shoulder. She cried so long before she was so tired she could not keep her eyes open. She did not have a thing to eat and she refused to eat. The food she was going make for breakfast went in the trash. When someone asked her if she were hungry, she bit his head off. Tina helped her to her bed and sat there stroking her hair. She was trying to get her to fall asleep. When she finally did, Tina got up to make some phone calls. 
Jenny was going to need help. Who wouldn’t? Jenny didn’t have a family. She was moved from foster home to foster home until she was old enough to take care of herself. She never looked back. She met Jay in high school but that is because she stayed in the same area just different homes. She finally was settling down. Married for three years with the baby they always wanted on the way. 
When Jenny woke, it was dark outside. She thought she had been dreaming about Jay. She swung her legs over her bed. She knew it had all been a dream. She could hear voices coming from the kitchen so she ran in there looking for Jay. What she saw was Tina and a few other people there. “W- wh- what are you doing here? She croaked. 
She knew the answer but she had to ask. She knew at that moment looking at their sad faces that it was not a dream. Jay was gone. Jenny started to back out of the room. She could not talk with these people and see the sadness in their eyes. 
“Jenny, we are here to help you with this hard time. Are you okay?” Tina asked her. 
“Oh yes it is all fine. My husband is dead but I should feel fine.” She knew she was being a bitch but she could not help it. She walked out mumbling something about a bath. 
Jenny stayed in bed for two days. She would not let anyone in but Tina and she would not eat a thing. Everyone was worried about her but she would not budge. 
Tina must have done all the planning because it was already time for Jay’s funeral. Tina walked in the room and saw Jenny still lying in bed. She shook her head and told her “get up right now. You are going to your husband’s funeral do you hear me?” Jenny looked confused until it hit her that she never planned a funeral. 
“It can’t happen yet. I did not plan a funeral for him. I am not ready to let go, once he goes in that ground he is gone forever.” She told her friend crying. 
“I took care of it all for you. However, you have to let him. His family is ready to bury him.” 
Jenny did as she was told. Get up and get dressed. That is all she was willing to do. Tina brushed her hair for her and found her shoes. This was going to be a long day. Jenny was already weak and very pale from not eating or taking care of herself anymore. 
The funeral went by fast. She cried and she remembers she screamed to the point they had to take her out of there. When it came to putting Jay in the ground and throwing dirt on him, Tina and Bob had to hold her on her feet. Her legs gave way. If they would not have been there holding her she would have fell on the hard ground. 
Jenny turned and whispered to Tina “will you please take me home?” 
Tina did not have to say a word. She nodded to Bob and they put her in Tina’s car so they could take her home. They helped her out of the car and into the house. When Tina asked her if she wanted to change her clothes, she said no she would do it later. 
She closed her eyes as soon as her head hit the pillow. When she was sleeping, she did not feel the pain. She missed him so much it felt like her heart was going to stop beating when she thought about him. She would cry and then throw up when she saw his things around the house. This was not going to work for her. She needed Jay to be here with her and for her. When she was dreaming she could talk with him and be with him. She did not feel sick thinking about him. It was like he was really there with her and that is where she would rather be; sleeping. 
She knew she should take care of herself better but she could not make herself get up. When Tina would bring her food, she would just throw it back up. She was tired all the time and depressed. 
Two weeks later Jenny was up and moving around a little. However, she still was not eating. She said there was no point if she was not going to hold it down. She would take a shower, listen to the news, and go back to bed. This particular morning was different. She was woke up by sharp pain in her stomach. It felt like some was stabbing her. 
Chapter 2 
She called 911 because she knew she could not drive herself to the hospital it hurt so much, when she stood up to call the paramedic she was bleeding. She started panicking. She knew she did this to the baby. She was going to lose Jay’s baby. Tina tried to get her to eat and take care of herself. She not only lost Jay she was losing a part of him. 
Jenny was rushed the Roger’s Memorial and taken straight to labor and delivery. She kept trying to tell them it was too early. She should not be going to labor and delivery yet. She should be going to the ER to get help saving her baby. 
She did not normally yell at people. She was an easy going person. She loved everyone and they loved her back. However, today she was screaming at them to listen to her. She was trying to explain to them that it was not time for her to have this baby. 
“Please if you would just listen to me. I am too early to be here.” She tried to tell them in a calmer voice. They kept moving along as fast as they could walk. They were telling nurses to get this machine and run this test. They were in the room waiting for her to come in. They told her to get dressed in a gown. She looked at that puke green hospital gown that opens in the back. 
They left her in the room with one nurse helping her get undressed and into the gown. Jenny’s head was spinning she did not know what was going on. They had her hooked to machines and got blood test. When the door opened and a doctor walked in. 
“Mrs. Carlton, I am Dr. Leen. I am here to check your cervix to make a final call.” 
He pulled off his gloves and threw them in the trash bin. He turned back and around with a sad look on his face. “I am sorry. The baby is gone.” 
She started screaming NO! She tried twisting and turning to get out of here. She would go to another hospital and get help. She was not going to lay here and listen to I am sorry. 
“Mrs. I am sorry but there is nothing we can do. We are going to keep you over night and the baby should pass by morning or you could go home. I don’t think you will need a DNC but if you do you can come back.” 
He patted her hand and asked her if she had any questions. She shook her head no and turned her head to stare at the wall. “I want to go home.” She told him 
He shook his head and walked out the door. He told the nurse on the way out to write up discharge papers. 
Tina was waiting in the waiting room for any news. They would not let her in there while they were checking her out. She was sitting in a chair flipping through an old booklet when she saw Jenny being wheeled to the front in a wheel chair. 
“Hi honey. You ready to go home?” 
Jenny shook her head yes but did not speak. The nurse handed Tina a prescription and told her she would need to take these pills every four to six hours. The pills will help with the pain and help her sleep. 
Tina asked the nurse “do you think that is a good idea for her to sleep more?” 
“It will help her later. She has been through a lot the last month. She will need a lot of support.” 
Tina took Jenny to her car that was now parked out front. She helped her get in the car. Jenny laid her head back when she was sitting in the seat. Tina got behind the wheel of her car and looked over at Jenny. She was already sleeping. 
She was still sleeping when they got to Jenny’s house. How was she going to get Jenny out of the car without waking her up? Tina figured the hospital gave her that medication already. 
She pulled out her cell phone to make a call. She was going to call her neighbor Jason. He would come carry her into the house. 
Jason was there in no time flat. “Hi Tina, are you sure I should take her in the house? She may wake up and fight me.” 
They laughed but Jason was being serious. He did not want to scare the woman. She was beautiful. Long auburn hair that flowed to the middle of her back. Her eyes were closed so he could not tell what color her eyes were. 
“You can lay her on the couch. I will have the door open by the time you get up the porch.” 
Tina did as she said she would. She had the house door open for him to carry Jenny right in. She thanked him in a whisper and showed him to the couch around the corner from the front door. 
Jason laid her down as Tina told him to. He stood up smiled at her and told her to call him if she needed some help. 
Tina use to have the biggest crush on Jason but they ended up as friends. He was kind of like her brother. She was always trying to hook him up with females she knew. She would try with him and Jenny if this tragedy would not have happened and of course, she was not married. 
Tina did Jenny’s dishes and laundry before she woke up. She looked around as if she was confused. She saw Tina and told her to come sit with her. 
“I am so empty inside right now. I feel like my life is over. I do not have anything Jay or the baby. What am I going to do now?” 
Tina has never been through something like this. She was there for support. However, she did not know how to give it so she just held her arms out to her friend. 
“I am not sure what to say.  I know Jay would not want you to sit around here like this. For the baby well I think she went to heaven with her daddy. Yes I think it was a girl.” She said with a smile. 
Jenny could not help but smile. Tina knew she wanted a daughter. “I think she did to. However, this does not make it any easier. I miss Jay so much and I feel horrible that I lost the baby.” 
They sat there chatting for a few hours, Jenny started to get tired again, and she told her that she was in pain now. Tina got up and got her pills with a cold glass of water. She handed them to her and told her “I will be here when you wake up.” 
She helped Jenny to her room. She sat on the edge of her bed flipping through channels. She knew Jenny would be asleep tonight and she would be able to make a run to her house to get some clothes. She was not going to leave Jenny alone. She was the closest thing to a family she had. 
She waited thirty minutes to make sure Jenny was fast asleep. She was making a list while Jenny was falling asleep. She needed some clothes and personal things but she always needed to call in and ask someone to take over her patients if they could. Cancel the ones they could not take on. 
Jenny needed her and she was going to be there for her. She was so dedicated to her friend she was going to miss out on her date tomorrow night. He was a fine man. 
She packed as quickly as she could and walked next door to Jason’s house. She knocked once and he opened the door. He looked as if he was on his way out. 
“I am sorry to bother you again. I hate to you ask you something, would you please watch my house while I am gone.” 
She talked with him for a few minutes and then she jumped back in her car and drove back to Jenny’s. She hoped she was still sleeping when she walked in the house. She did not hear any noise so she guessed she was sleeping. 
She sat her bags in the living room on the floor. She set her purse in the chair and walked into Jenny’s room to see she was still sleeping. 
 The funeral went by fast. She cried and she remembers she screamed to the point they had to take her out of there. When it came to putting Jay in the ground and throwing dirt on him, Tina and Bob had to hold her on her feet. Her legs gave way. If they would not have been there holding her she would have fell on the hard ground. 
Jenny turned and whispered to Tina “will you please take me home?” 
Tina did not have to say a word. She nodded to Bob and they put her in Tina’s car so they could take her home. They helped her out of the car and into the house. When Tina asked her if she wanted to change her clothes, she said no she would do it later. 
She closed her eyes as soon as her head hit the pillow. When she was sleeping, she did not feel the pain. She missed him so much it felt like her heart was going to stop beating when she thought about him. She would cry and then throw up when she saw his things around the house. This was not going to work for her. She needed Jay to be here with her and for her. When she was dreaming she could talk with him and be with him. She did not feel sick thinking about him. It was like he was really there with her and that is where she would rather be; sleeping. 
She knew she should take care of herself better but she could not make herself get up. When Tina would bring her food, she would just throw it back up. She was tired all the time and depressed. 
Two weeks later Jenny was up and moving around a little. However, she still was not eating. She said there was no point if she was not going to hold it down. She would take a shower, listen to the news, and go back to bed. This particular morning was different. She was woken up by sharp pain in her stomach. It felt like some was stabbing her. 
Chapter 3 
It took Jenny two months to drag herself out of bed and go back to work. She dressed in scrubs and went to work with no make-up and she twisted her hair up in a knot. She did not care what she looked like. She was going to work for a paycheck. 
They were so young they did not think about life insurance.  Therefore, the money that was in their joint account and the money from home; Jenny had to pay for the funeral. 
She walked into the office. She could saw that all eyes were all on her. They did not stare long. They had to feel just as uncomfortable as she did. She knew no one knew what to say at a time like this. Everyone would be walking on eggshells around the office. 
“Good morning Jenny. You got any plans for lunch?” Tina asked her. 
Jenny walked to her chair sat her purse on the shelf under the desktop. She turned around with a smile she hoped did not look to fake. “Good morning. I do not have plans for lunch. I eat when I feel hungry and that is not very often.” 
Tina opened her mouth to say something but closed it just as fast. She smiled at her and walked into her office. She closed the door with a thud. 
Jenny took a deep breath. She knew she sounded harsh. She did not mean to. She did not eat at all if she was honest. She did not want to tell her friend that she was not taking care of herself after everything that they been through together. 
Jenny walked across the room to her boss office. She did not bother to knock. They have been friends long enough she knows she can do this. “I am sorry Tina. I do not mean to be short with you. I do not eat at all yet. Do not look at me like that. I will eat.” 
Tina made her sit in a chair so she could speak with her. It did not take long before she had Jenny in tears. She sent her home today with pay. She was not ready to be back to work. She could try again tomorrow if she wanted. 
Jenny snatched up her purse and stomped out of the building. She knew Tina was right but damn it she needed to keep her mind busy. She felt the warm sun hit her face. It stung at first since she has not felt it in a few months. She looked up to see the sun; of course she could not, it was too bright. She hung her head and walked to her car. 
She unlocked the door and sat in the driver’s seat of her car. She was fuming. She looked up toward the sky and asked “Jay what is wrong with me?” I never act like this. I am not very angry and I cannot stop my feelings. 
She felt a tear slip down her cheeks but she wiped it away. She backed out of the parking spot. She intended on going home, but something made her go driving. She ended up going into the country. She did not know how she got there. It was beautiful out there. She parked her car on the side of the road and got out. 
She saw a huge oak tree that she had to sit under. She walked up the small hill and sat on a log that she was sure someone hauled there. She sat down and smiled for the first time in months. She listened to the sounds and thought about Jay. 
She liked it out in the middle of nowhere. She thought maybe it would be a good idea to move out here. She smiled to herself. She wished she could have shared this with her husband and her child. She was not going to let this ruin the home she could make here. She saw a shadow and thought it was someone walking past but she did not see it again. 
“My imagination is playing with me now.” 
She walked back to her car and looked over shoulder as she walked. She never saw the shadow or anyone out there. 
She thought to herself yea she was just seeing things now. She drove home to see a car in her driveway that she did not recognize. She pulled in and parked next to the dark car. 
She slowly got out of her car looking around for the owner of the vehicle. She saw him coming from her porch. She did not know who this man was. She started to clam up. She was scared of everything these days. 
“Can I help you?” she asked the strange man. 
“I am sorry to bother you. I am looking for a Jenny Carlton.” 
She looked him over for a minute. She did not care he knew she was staring at him and checking him out. She cleared her throat and took a breath. 
“I am Jenny and you are?” 
“I use to work with your husband and I was sent here by my boss to give you something.” He looked uncomfortable. 
“If this is about his work I don’t care. I don’t do that kind of work and I am barely back to work myself.” 
It was the strangers turn to look her over. He was looking at her as if she had two heads. 
“Ma’am you don’t understand. I am here to give you a check from my boss. He said Jay was great with him. He was in debt with him and he would like to pay up now.” 
He handed her one of them orange colored envelope and started back to his car. He did not look back or say anything else. He drove off leaving a trail of dust behind him. 
With wobbly legs and shaky hands, she walked into her house and sat at the kitchen table. She sat down on the chair and sat the package on her table. She knew what was in there thanks to the stranger. However, she did not know if she could open it. She did not want to see that people were paying their debt to her late husband. 
Yes, it would help her out. However, it made her miss him. She would think he was just out to work and would be walking in the door any minute. She knew this house was making it hard for her to get over the death of her family. 
She called Tina telling her what she thought. She wanted to move into the country. She did not want to stay in the house that she was making for her small family. She needed to start over fresh; that might help her eat and sleep. 
Tina was at her house in minutes. She did not knock just like Jenny didn’t knock when she went into her office. “Jenny I am here. What do you mean you want to move from here?” She said in a voice that sounded like a mouse. 
“We can sit out in the back yard and talk. I don’t like for people to see me in my front yard and stare at me.” 
They walked through her living room into her kitchen out her sliding glass doors. They sat in lounge chair that sat near the house. 
“I am worried about you Jenny. You are making on the spot decisions and you are not sleeping.” Tina told her. 
Jenny was tired of the same song and dance. They did this every time they talked on the phone or in person. She was never going to get over Jays death or her child’s. She was going to have to move from here so she did not think of them as much. 
“I am not trying to make on the spot anything. I just cannot live like this no more. Everywhere I turn, I see or smell Jay. I want to move to something smaller and just for me.” 
Tina stayed and talked with her for a few more minutes and then told her she should come out tonight with the girls. It has been awhile and everyone would love to see her. She did not have to stay long or drink. 
Jenny was not going to go but she knew she had to at least act human. Being locked in her house all day was not healthy and she knew others were talking. She would go out tonight no drinking and all she had to do was sit and chat for an hour. 
“I will meet you at the Belly Up at 8 pm.” Jenny told her friend. 
They hugged and Tina left. Jenny knew she did not want to do this but she was going to have to get use to talking with people. She missed Jay so much everyday it hurt. She still cried over him and it has been almost four months. They say it is supposed to get easier but she did not feel any different from the die he died. 
“Maybe I will call Jays mom and ask her to lunch. I miss her as much as I do Jay.” Great now I am talking to myself a lot. 
She flipped through the channels on the television for ten minutes nothing was on so she decided to stop being scared and call Mrs. Carlton. She would probably like to get out. 
“Hello. Yes I uh, I am looking for Mrs. Carlton?” 
She was told to hold please. Her heart raced and her palms were sweaty waiting for her to get on the line. It has been so long. Maybe she should have called before this. Maybe she did not want her to call at all. 
“Hello, this is Mrs. Carlton. This is?” 
I am sorry to be calling now. I do not even know why I am calling now. However, I thought I should call y…. 
“Jenny is that you?” 
When she told her, it was she. She sounded like she was crying. She did not mean to make the woman cry. Damn it, Knew it was a bad idea. 
“I am so glad that you called. I have been so worried about you. I wanted to call you but I didn’t know if it would be appropriate.” 
By the end of the phone call, they were both crying and they made a promise to get together for lunch tomorrow. She felt good calling Jays mom. She knew Tina would never understand why she would do something like this. However, maybe this could be the closer she needs. 
Chapter 4 
Jenny was gathering her clothes so she can jump in the shower. She was heading to the bathroom when she felt a cold chill run over her body. She shivered and looked around her. She figured her mind was making her think that she was feeling Jay. She continued on to the bathroom. 
She got in the shower. She stood under the water letting the hot water beat down on her tense body. It was steamy on the bathroom and super hot. Jenny washed her body and shampooed her hair so she could get to some fresh air. 
She stepped out on the towel she laid on the floor so she did not get her floor wet. She looked up at the mirror and it looked like someone had wiped the steam from the mirror before she got out of the shower. 
That is not possible though. Her doors were locked and she was in the bathroom with that door locked. There was no way for an intruder to get in her home. She shrugged her shoulders and continued to get dressed. She wrapped her hair in a towel and walked out into the hallway. 
She took in a deep breath, felt good to be out of all that steam and she could feel her body instantly cooling down. The temperature difference felt great on her hot skin. She walked into her room and began taken the towel down so she could slide her panties on with a long T-shirt of Jays. 
She pulled back the covers on her bed and crawled in. She covered up to her chin even though she was just hot. She would sleep in 90-degree weather this way. Jenny was asleep instantly. 
She was almost jerked out of her bed. She felt the hand of someone on her ankle and they were pulling her. She woke up right before she hit the floor. Was this someone’s sick joke? Or was she really feeling something in her house? She thought first it was Jay but why would he be being mean to her? 
Nothing made sense anymore in her life. She did not know why Tina had a problem with her moving from here. She would be living close still a twenty-minute drive from where she lived now. She needed out of this house and no one would believe that something was messing with her. Hell, she did not really believe it herself. 
However, she was now wide-awake so what could she do now. She decided on making some coffee and going for a ride. She enjoyed driving in her car alone. She did not think about anything but the open road in front of her. She always came home but she thought what it would be like to just disappear. 
It was 4:00 am so no one else would be up at this time. Jenny smiled to herself. “Well I guess it is time to find one of those mom and pop diners.” 
Jenny was dressed in a flash in a pair of white jeans and aqua blue shirt that sat on her hips. She pulled on a black pair of leather mid calf boots. She liked this look; it was new for her. She stayed in scrubs or came home and changed into sweats and T-shirts. 
Jenny opened her car door climbed in behind the wheel. She closed her door and made sure she had her favorite CD at the time in the player. She was into someone named Ashley Dream. She was played before 2000 so most people do not know whom she is. She backed out of her drive way and headed for the highway. She drove for a good forty-five minutes and see saw a sign that read Red Apple Diner. 
“Sounds like a great place to eat.” 
She got off at the next exit and pulled into the parking lot to the diner. It was not too busy, which she liked. She could go in, eat, and feel okay. No one knew her here and she was sure it would be open friendly smiles. 
She slowly got out of her car and walked into the diner. She stood there looking around for a minute. She was right everyone looked her way and smiled. She smiled back to them all and found a booth to sit at. 
She saw a waitress. She was no older than sixteen. She could not have been. She was a cute little thing. She was petite, long blonde hair, and hot pink nail polish. She was happy walking around talking to other customers, smiling, and making sure, they had what they needed. 
“Hi, my name is April. What can I get you?” 
“I will have a cup of coffee and a slice of apple pie.” 
She wrote it down fast and headed to the counter so she could get my pie, since the cook did not have to do anything. The young waitress was back fast. She laid the pie and coffee in front of Jenny and smiled asking her if she needed anything else. 
“Excuse me? If you do not mind me asking how old are you. You look so young.” 
April laughed. She looked around her to make sure no one else was listening like. it was a secret. “I am twenty-one.” 
She laughed when she saw the shocked look on Jenny’s face. 
“Wow! I thought you were only sixteen. 
April left so she could take care of other customers. However, she always came back and chatted with Jenny while she was sitting there. 
Jenny asked her if she worked a lot. She figured she would be coming back here. She did not care how long it took to drive here. The food was good and the atmosphere was relaxing. You could get lost in a place like this. As if, you did not have a past, or future, just the moment. 
It was time to get back to the real world. She was going to be late for work this morning since she went so far for a drive this morning. She did not care she would tell Tina where she was. She was also telling Tina she has made her mind up; she is moving. 
Every time she thought about moving, she got this weird feeling that came over her. She did not know what that meant but she had to move out of the house she was living in now. Maybe she should go talk with a fortune teller. Someone that could tell her what this chill was that came over her body and that weird feeling got like someone was watching her or with her. 
She pulled into works parking lot and locked her car doors. She had a smiled today. She was going figure out what was going on with her without looking crazy. She did not want to tell Tina right now. If she needed something then she would tell her. 
She walked into the same ole’ brown brick building. That sat near the street but close to a Mc. Donald’s. That use to make her laugh because you put that fast food next to a dentist office knowing they would want some when they left the office. However, nothing made her smile or laugh much now days. She plastered a smile on her face and walked in. 
Tina was there, as she knew she would be. Nevertheless, to her surprise she did not ask her how she was doing, what she was doing, or how she has been? She actually smiled and said get to work. 
She passed today. Thank god. She could not sit at home alone another day without anything to do. She would be able to answer phones, file papers, or help the Dr. If needed. She would be busy which means her mind would stay busy. When she was busy, her day would go better. When she got home at night she would try to take a few bites of food take her pain meds and go to sleep. 
The pills the hospital gave her helped her sleep. They were not for sleeping they helped her sleep so she did not feel the pain of the death of her family. 
While she was at work, she made some calls to see what kind of property she could get in the country. She got the address for two and she planned to go to check them out. She heard someone clear his or her throat behind her. She did not have turn around to know it was going to be Tina. 
She was right. Tina was standing there with her hands on her hips and looking at her as if she was going to bite her head off. She rolled her eyes and said, “Do not think I am going to let you go alone to check out some property.” 
“Thanks. I need to move I know people do not understand but I have to do this. Oh, hey by the way I called Jays mother last night. I am going to meet her for lunch.” 
Tina did not say anything about that. She patted her on the back and told her to get back to work. Lunch was in thirty minutes not right now. Seems like everyone was moving along but her. 
It was almost lunchtime when her phone rang. When she answered the phone, she knew it was bad news. “I am sorry Jenny but Amy Carlton will not be able to make to lunch today. She will call you later when she gets home. I am sorry.” 
Jenny did not know what was going on but she hoped it was not anything fatal after what she and her husband have been through with Jay. She has been strong but there is always a breaking point. She prayed this was not her breaking point. 
“Tina would you like to go see one of the properties with me?” 
“Now? We have to be back here in thirty minutes.” Oh come I guess being a few minutes late will not hurt.” 
Jenny told Tina before she only went twenty minutes out. The house that the realtor told her about was only fifteen so this was even closer to Tina. She should be happy about this. 
“Tina look if I take this one it is five minutes closer to you.” Jenny tried to joke. Nevertheless, they both were feeling anxiety. 
When they pulled up Jenny wanted to hit the gas pedal and speed out of there. She did not of course she got and looked around the huge yard. That was the only attractive thing about the place. The yard was big enough to throw a nice size party if she wanted to. However, the house left a lot to be desired. The place was falling apart. 
The house was supposed to be white but was now a gray color from weather and neglect. The siding was falling off the house, half the windows were hanging out, and you could tell animals made a home out of this place. 
The girls looked at each other and laughed. Jenny even laughed a good hearty laugh. I do not think this is the place for anyone they said in unison. 
They got back in the car to head back to the office. Tina, happy that Jenny was not having any luck so far. Jenny thinking why she would want a house she would never be able to move into. Who would if it? How could she afford to have it fixed? That was house was off the list. 
Chapter 5 
Jenny walked into the building with Tina. They were talking about nothing. Jenny’s mind was on calling that realtor and telling her off. She would not tell her off but she was going to ask her if they had something that you did not have to fix up for years. 
There was nothing to do tonight so she asked Tina if she wanted to do a girls night with her. She knew she would say yes. When she did says yes, as Jenny knew she would. The made plans to go to the “Swim Hole.” Weird name but it was awesome if you wanted to drink in a hot tub you could. If you just wanted to drink in the bar area you could do that to. It was a nice place to relax. 
Jenny wanted some beer and she was going to sit in the hot tub while she drank so when she got out of the hot water she would be buzzed. She may have to call a cab to get home. 
Jenny did not need a lot time to get ready. She was going to have a few drinks not care what people thought about her. She stopped by the gas station to make sure your car was full for next week. She looked up as she got out of her car to pump her gas and noticed a young man named Troy was working today. 
Jenny met Troy the year after her and Jay married. He is the son to one of Jay’s old clients. He brought him a long to a couple picnics and if she remembered correctly the bowling alley. She smiled to herself as she finished pumping her gas. Her face would shock him since it has been awhile that she has left her home. 
She put a happy step in her walking. She wanted him to go back and tell his dad he had seen her today, she came into the gas station and she looked like she was doing fine. 
“HI Troy, how have you been? It has been a long time since I saw you last.” She commented as if it was any other day. 
Troy stood there staring at her with one of his eye brows raised. Jenny wanted to laugh but she did not. She knew that when it came to death and healing people felt weird around someone that has just lost someone to death. 
“I have been great. I am working here so I can save as much as I can before college. How have you been?” 
Jenny could tell he was nervous so she just kept talking with him as if it was another day. She talked with him a good ten minutes before she smiled and told him to tell his dad hi for her. She walked out and got back in her car. She felt good about that, she looked like she came back to join the living. 
“All but that feeling you keep getting. The one where you think someone is always with you.” She thought as she pulled onto the main road to continue home. 
Today is a beautiful day. The colors are so pretty and bright. The sky is bright blue with no clouds in site, with the sun gleaming off the windows of shops and pools. There was a breeze so you could breathe as you stepped outside but it was hot enough you would feel fine in shorts and tank tops. 
When Jenny finally made it home and walked into her house, she saw that her answering machine was blinking. She sat her purse on the table next to the door. She walked over to her machine and pushed the play button. She did not know who it could be unless it was some kind of news about Mrs. Carlton. 
“Hello this is Patty and I came across a listing that I thought had been sold. But come to find out it is still for sale if you would like to have a look at it.” 
Jenny could not believe she still had two houses to check out. That means there is hope that there is more houses or that not all of them are junk. She wanted this move so bad. 
She still had a few hours before she was going to go out with the girls, she could take a swing out to look at one of them tonight. That idea appealed to her so she grabbed her purse from the table and walked back out to her car. She would be back in plenty of time to go out with the girls tonight. 
She turned on her radio so she could listen to her favorite CD on her way to look at the house. She had a hard time finding this house. She has been looking for it for almost twenty minutes now. Almost out of nowhere there was a man walking her way. 
She slowed down and asked, “Excuse me would you happen to know where 2232 lean drive is?” 
“You are real close. You have to turn back around and go up four houses turn on that small dirt road and go down two more houses.” 
He smiled at her and started to walk off. She noticed two things about this man. One he was gorgeous and two he was walking. He had the darkest eyes she had ever seen and he was tall. He had to bend down to look into her window. 
It was dusk out; the sun was starting to go down. She turned around in a driveway. She was going to ask him if he needed a ride after she seen the house. However, she did not see him anywhere. She looked to the right and to the left and he was not there. She looked behind her to make sure she did not pass him. No, nothing. There was not a trace of this man even being out here. 
“Okay this is creepy. But there is no way someone can be there talking with you one minute and gone the next.” She was trying to convince herself. She might be living out here so there was no need to scare her with these thoughts. 
She finally found the place. She loved it at first site. It looked almost new actually. Looking at the house, she loved the sun setting in the background. This was going to be perfect. The grass was recently cut so she did not have to wade through tall grass. Not knowing what was in there. She put her face to the glass of the house with her right hand cover her eyes so she could see inside without a shadow. From what she could see, she liked the house. 
Hardwood floors through the house, huge kitchen with plenty of kitchen space and sitting area. The house was only a two-bed room but it was smaller than where she lived. The more she looked the more she loved it. She really liked that she had maybe ten neighbors. 
This was one she was going to take. She was going to call on the house tomorrow. Jenny knew this was going to be hers as soon as she saw it. She got in her car with a lighter heart. She felt this was going to be the best for her. 
Jenny seen a figure up ahead before got to the main road to go home. She had to get ready and go out tonight. The figured moved out of the road more the closer she got. She pulled up next to the man that helped her earlier, the one that disappeared into thin air. 
“Where are you going? Would you like a ride?” She asked him. 
“I am good for now. I may see you some other time. Have a good night.” He responded. 
She pulled away from him feeling confused. I am good for now. What does that mean? She started to wonder if he lived near the home, she was looking to buy. He had to live close since he did not have a car. 
Jenny left her cell phone at home and she did not notice until she was a mile down the road from her house. It was dark out now, so she knew Tina would be looking for her to go now. 
She hurried and pulled into her drive way and got out of the car as quick as she could. She fumbled with her keys for minute because she was moving so fast, she had to slow down and try to open her door twice. She finally got in and saw that her machine was blinking crazy, which meant she had many messages. She grabbed her cell phone that was sitting on the table where she had sat her purse earlier and saw that she had missed seven phone calls and they were all from Tina. She expected this after the last few months have done to her. 
She had to call Tina, as she got dressed. She had her cell phone to her right ear and holding it with her shoulder while she pulled her black jeans from the closet. 
“Hello Jenny. I was wondering if you were going to call me back tonight or why you were not answering my calls.” She said snippy. 
Jenny knew she was going to be mad. However, she explained what she did. She told her to hang on so she could put a shirt on and she chose to wear a pink shirt that sat at her hips. She picked her cell back up and began talking again while she was putting on her black leather boots that came to mid calf. 
She let her know she would meet her there in fifteen minutes. She was leaving her house now. She would have to fix her hair in the car when she got there. She was only going to throw it up in a twist anyways. That was easy enough. 
She sped all the way to the bar. She knew that Tina was already there. She was ready to go almost an hour ago. She pulled into the parking lot and parked, did her hair as she wanted, and ran into the bar. She saw her friends when she got inside. She always saw that there was already a guy at the table. 
“Hi I am glad you could make it.” Tina laughed and hugged Jenny. 
Jenny sat down next to Tina. She said hi to a few old faces. Tina of course, Mary, Linda, and Lynn. They have been friends since high school. The guy she didn’t know and Tina must have just remembered that because she said “This is Jason. He has been a good friend of mine for a few years now.” 
Jenny said hi to him and asked the waved the waitress over and ordered a Bud Ice and a shot of Tequila.  When she turned back around to face her friends they were all staring at her. “What?” is all she asked. 
Nothing everyone said in unison. The conversation began around the table again. Jenny was feeling comfortable. It has been a while since she has been out. She did not feel like she really knew any of these women anymore. She felt like she was out of her pond and into someone else’s. 
Jenny noticed that no one was talking with Jason much either. She felt bad for him. Why ask him to come along and not acknowledge he is there. Jenny decided to talk with him. Her drinks showed up and she already felt the affect’s of the alcohol. 
Jenny discovered that he was actually a nice guy. He must be in love with Tina she thought. She did not see any other way why he would still be single and she was not going to ask him that. However, he did ask about her and talked about himself as well. He did not say a word about her husband and his death. He had to know being friends with Tina. Nevertheless, that was nice of him she thought. 
When Jenny said something about she is getting ready to move soon. She was just waiting to contact Patty. Jason said he would be more than happy to help her move her stuff if she needed a truck. 
One week later Jenny was handing the realtor the last of her money. She was moving into her new place today. She had everything packed and did not have no way to move it. She was going to call Jason. She did not have any other choice. Not that he was bad to be around or that he was rude to her. She felt like she was using him for his kindness just because she needed help to move. However, she thought he is in love with Tina he would love to help her best friend. 
Jason was there almost before Jenny could hang the phone up. She made sure he understood that it was twenty minutes from here that he had to take her stuff and it may be two trips or more. He did not say anything to her just smiled so she continued with packing her blue 2000 Mustang. There was not much room in the trunk or the back seats. 
However, she got what she could in there and pulled out with Jason right behind her. She checked her rear view mirror and Jason was still right behind her. He did not let anyone come between them. “Maybe since Tina is friend with him and he is in love with Tina maybe we will be friends.” She was talking to herself but talking to him. 
They were finally there. She pulled all the way into the driveway and had Jason pull the truck into the yard. It would be easier to take the furniture out this way. 
Jason laughed and said, “I am tired from moving this, and now I am tired from sitting in this truck.” 
Jenny found herself laughing with him. She thought if it would have been a different time she may have fell for him. However, it is what it is. She told him with one of her winning smiles “Come on you wussy. I will help you.” 
With jenny and Jason working together they finally got the truck unpacked and into her new home. She was smiling when they were done, though she was tired. 
Chapter 6 
“Thank you for all your help Jason. But I am thinking we are going to need someone else that can help you with the heavy stuff.” She laughed. 
Jason smiled back but he did not say much. He actually talked more when they were at the bar then he has all day. Not that she minded but it was weird how he changed so fast. Oh well she shrugged it off and asked him if he was ready to head back to get more stuff. 
When they got back, Jason told her he would be back in a few. She waved him off and got more boxes in her car. She was almost packed full in her car when Jason pulled in with another helper she assumed. 
“You went for help?” she asked him. 
“Yes. This is my brother and thought he would be able to help us. Do you mind?” 
She told him no. She asked them if they could get her bed in this load because she would like to stay out there this trip. They shook their heads yes and got a lot more actually on this load then the one they tried to do between the two of them. 
Like last time Jason followed Jenny all the way to her place. He stayed as close to her rear end as he could without hitting her. She thought that was sweet. She got out of her car when she got to her house and unlocked the door for Jason and his brother to take in bed. She would worry about the boxes in her car later. She was tired now and she did not need anything. 
They had her house almost together for her. They told her they would help her tomorrow when she came to town and get the rest of her place set up. She thanked them and told them tomorrow that she would pay them for helping. 
Jason did not look to happy when she said something about paying them. However, he did not say anything he just got in his truck and left. She did not know what was going on with him but she did not have time to think about either. She walked into her house and locked the door. She was going to take a shower and relax for the rest of the night on her bed. She would call Tina when she got out of the shower while she was watching TV. 
She walked down the hallway to her bathroom and turned on the shower. The pressure coming from this shower was much better than the one from her old house. 
She smiled and lathered shampoo in her hair. She let the shower beat on her body while she let the shampoo sit in her hair. When she got tired of standing up, she rinsed her hair and got out. She dried herself off and wrapped a towel around her hair. She got that feeling that someone was in her house with her watching her again. This does not make sense she moved and she still feels like someone is with her. 
She was calling that fortuneteller tomorrow morning. She did not like not knowing what was going no. She was the type of woman she liked to be the driver’s seat you could say. 
She did not speak with Tina long. She was already tired of from the move and the weird feeling she kept getting. She did not know what it was and she was not going to say a word of this to her friend until she figured something out first. 
They made plans for Friday for lunch since Jenny had to back to her old house and get the rest of her things out of it and she had to clean it up some so she can sell it. She did not want to sell the last thing she had of Jays but she knew it was time if she wanted to keep the house that she just bought. 
Jenny lay down in her bed and started thinking of how her life has been so far. She did not know her family, she tried hard not to get close to anyone, she finally fell in love with Jay, and then he dies. She felt empty inside. She did not understand how things like this happened to people that did everything in their power to be good. Jay should never have died that day. 
She felt tears threaten to spill from her eyes, but she willed them away and told herself right then she was getting her life back together. She could miss Jay but she had to start thinking of her now. 
She found some movie and laid the remote on the table next to her bed. As she watched the movie, she said aloud “I wish I could be like these girls. Use men to get what I wanted and move on to the next when I was bored.” She sighed she knew she would never be that type of woman.   
She could never sleep with that many men and she could never use them for money. That is a slut and she even knew that. 
The next thing she knew her alarm was going off. It was Saturday and she did not have to work. However, she liked to stick to getting up at the same time. Jenny thought today she would take time to meet some of her neighbors, maybe they would nice to the “new girl.” She laughed and swung her legs off the side of her bed. 
She did this young bounce thing in her step as she got to her closet to see what she could wear today. She knew it would be to hot out for her to wear jeans so she decided on some blue jean bib overalls and a plain white T-shirt that was the best she could do. The bibs were shorts so she should be fine. 
She made sure she grabbed her blue tennis shoes and walked out her front door. She stood on her porch putting her shoes on her feet one at a time. She stood on one foot then the other putting her shoes on. She was hopping. It must have been a fun sight if someone saw her. 
Jenny was thinking while she was walking through her yard to get to the road. She did not want to go knock on someone’s door that she did not know. She would rather just walk and if she saw someone, she would speak to them. 
She did not have to walk long before she ran into the same man she saw on her first day out here. Again he was walking. He had a smile on his face and when he got closer, you could see he had pearly whites. 
“Hello again.” Jenny said smiling. 
She did not know what the hell was wrong with her. She did not talk with other men and flirt. Moreover, she was sure she was flirting with him. 
“Hi. Are you all moved in? How do you like it? The stranger asked her. 
“Well it is quite. That is what I wanted so I guess I like it; I am going to look around now.” 
“I live up there by the turn in.” he said pointing in that direction. 
“Um, my name is Jenny. I just thought you should know since we are neighbors.” She felt nervous for some reason. 
“My name is Kaleb. It is nice to meet you. I have to go but I hope to see you around more.” He smiled and walked off. He did not look back. 
He is a nice man she thought. He seemed to be up and down this road all the time. She saw him last time when it almost dark. Today she saw him when it was the morning time. 
There was not much to see when she walked. She did not want to walk to far from home. In addition, as I said before there were ten houses around her. This was country. Some of her neighbors had small farms. 
One farm she noticed had some vegetables growing in it. The other two had animals in them; she did not walk up near either place. She could see the farm to her right has pigs, cows, and chicken. The farm on her left has pigs, chicken, and a couple horses. It was dusty out here, but the yards were huge you could farm, have a flowerbed, or use the barn for working on cars. 
On her walk back to her house, she saw an older woman in her yard. She as not elder, but she was older then Jenny. She wanted to go over and talk with her but she figured she would not want some stranger coming in her yard. 
She smiled up at the woman as she was walking by her when she heard the woman say “excuse me, ma’am?” 
Jenny looked over and the woman was coming towards her. Jenny wondered if she had done something wrong. 
“Yes.” 
“Hi, my name is Tabby. I live right here as you can see. I saw you moving in and when I saw you out here walking; I thought what the heck talk with her now.” 
They both started laughing. Jenny felt at home around here. This was the best move for her she was starting to think. 
“Yes, I am so beat from moving in but I have more to get this weekend. I love it out here. However, it is so quite. I have only met you and Kaleb but you both seem really nice.” She smiled at her. 
Tabby was smiling at her with a twinkle in her eyes. Jenny did not know why she was looking at her like that and she did not have time to think about it before she started talking again. 
“Was that your husband that came with you and helped you move in?” 
“No. My husband was killed in a car accident three months ago now.” It to talk about Jay in passing but it was getting easier as they said it would. 
Jenny chatted with Tabby for a few more minutes until the sun became too hot for her. It was beating straight down on them, barely any shade out here and she was thirsty. They said their good-bye and Jenny started walking towards her house again. 
“Oh by the way, if you ever need something fixed or what not call on Kaleb. He comes and helps us all out.” 
Jenny hurried on to her house. She was liked Tabby and she was hot but for some reason the thought of Kaleb made her blush. She would feel weird. She has never felt this way about anyone; not even Jay. 
She was in love with Jay that is why she married him. However, he did not make her skin feel like it was on fire. 
She had work tomorrow so she had better do some laundry and she would hang it out to dry in her back yard. She saw a line and that is hooked between trees. She would love to smell her clothes after they hung out in the sun. 
She gathered all her dirty clothes with her work scrubs. She could not find her laundry soap at first. She had when you first moved and things were not in the right place. She finally found it near her back door. She grabbed it and started her darks first. She used a cap full of laundry soap and used hot water. She liked when her clothes came out looking new. 
She was not hungry so she picked her cell phone from the back pocket of her shorts and sat on the couch. She was bored so she went through her android phone to go through the market. She needed some kind of game or something to play. 
She found a game that she could bake things. She liked games like that. She did not have to pay for it since it was free; she downloaded the game and played it when it was done until her wash was ready to be hung outside. 
Chapter 7 
She was outside hanging her clothes out to dry when she could feel someone was walking behind her. She spun around so fast she almost knocked Kaleb on his ass. 
“I am so sorry. You scared the hell out of me.” She said with a giggle. 
“I am sorry. I heard you were talking with Tabby and I wanted to come and make sure you do not need something fixed before I head home.” 
He looked he was scared to be around her. Almost like how she felt about him. 
“No, I am good. Thanks.” 
He turned and walked away and Jenny continued to hang her clothes up on the line. She was thinking of Kaleb though. Maybe she should invite him for dinner. She could always break something and have him come fix it. 
What the hell was wrong with her? She was acting like a teenage kid. She was too old for this shit. She would wait about an hour, come back out, and get her clothes. She should go back into town to that diner so she could get some more pie while she waits. 
She had too much on her mind and she did not know whom to talk with about it all. She has Tina yes, but what would she say when I tell her about me feeling the hot tingly feelings about some guy she didn’t know. 
Jenny ran back inside for her purse. She was on her way back out the door when she seen Tabby walking towards her. She waited on her porch for Tabby to walk up. 
“I am sorry to bother you. I was wondering what you are doing for dinner?” 
“I was just heading to the mom N pops diner. I don’t eat much so I grab a little something here and there.” She tried to give Tabby her best smile but she even knew Tabby could tell. 
Jenny did not know what Tabby was doing. She was standing in her yard looking up at the sky as if she was going to get answer from up there. Jenny tilted her head up as she was looking for the answer that Tabby was seeing. However, there was nothing there. 
“Well now that just will not do. I am having a salad and a small piece of turkey. I would love it if you would come for some of this food.” Tabby told her. 
Jenny did not want to be mean to Tabby but at the same time, she did not know what to do. She was thinking of her answer when she said, “I would love to be able to talk with someone that has also lost their husband.” She said with tears trying to spill from her eyes. Jenny’s heart went out to her, so she said yes. 
She knew all too well how it felt to lose someone that you were in love with. You wanted to spend the rest of your life with this person and for whatever reason they were taken from you. 
Jenny walked across her yard with Tabby so they could go have some food and good chat. This could be good for both of them.  She was wondering how long ago Tabby lost her husband and what she did when this happened to her? 
Tabby was talking about her flowers and she told Jenny if she wanted some seeds she would be happy to give her some. She loved flowers and thought they made peoples yards look so nice. 
She saw a shadow come from around the house and who was it? Yes, Kaleb was coming from Tabby’s back yard. He noticed Jenny and his face lit up. 
Jenny smiled back and said hello to him again. She seems to see Kaleb every time she walked out of her house. She did not mind seeing him, it was just he made her body feel weird. She did not know if she liked this new feeling or not. 
“Oh Kaleb thank you for being such a dear and fixing that dang hose and faucet.” 
Jenny stood there as they chatted. She did not really know these people so she felt like she was a third wheel. However, she stood there and smiled when either of them would look at her. She wished she had made something up why she could not have dinner with her tonight. 
She inhaled and put on her best smile. When she heard, Tabby asks him how his new hand was working out for him. She that why would he need someone to fix things for him if he was the one that fixed things for the neighbors around here. She pushed the thought to the back of her mind; maybe he did others work while the new hand did his work. 
She barely heard Tabby tell her to come along, she watched as Kaleb walked down her driveway that was made of a bunch of small pebbles. She heard Tabby clear her throat, she slowly turned around and saw Tabby staring at her. Her face turned bright red and it felt like she just caught on fire. 
No one said a word they just walked inside Tabby’s house. Jenny looked around when she walked in the door. Everything almost the same as her house besides her back sliding door was bigger and she has a huge picture window, so she could watch her neighbors, look out the window, or just have it for the sun light. Tabby headed for her kitchen; Jenny followed right behind her. 
“The food is almost done. Would you like some tea, coffee, or soda to drink?” 
“Whatever you are having is fine.” She smiled and sat down at the kitchen table. Her chairs matched her white table. 
Tabby loved to chat Jenny could tell. She has been talking since we walked across the street. She did not seem to run out of breath. Jenny smiled, she wished she would have known this woman her whole life. She made you feel at home with her, comfortable. Maybe that is why she talked so much, she was trying to make you feel relaxed and feel that someone cared. 
Tabby sat in the chair opposite of Jenny and handed her a can of coke. She tapped the top of the can then spun it around in her hands before looking up at Jenny. 
“I know I talk a lot Jenny. I am sorry; I get lonely so when I do finally get company I try to talk their ear off. The neighbors don’t come over because I talk so much.” 
Jenny’s heart broke when she saw the pain in her eyes when she said she was lonely. She was a good person and she did not understand how people could be mean to her. She vowed to herself right then. She would make it a point to come visit Tabby for at least an hour every day. 
“I don’t mind you talking. I am enjoying myself. I have not done much since my husband passed.” 
Tabby reached over the table and patted Jenny’s hand. She smiled at her and said, “Do you know that it is okay to move on with your life?” Jenny was taking back by this. Did not understand why she would tell her it was okay to move on. Who would do that to their husband? She felt bad for just having feelings that were weird for someone that was not Jay. 
“What are you talking about? I am sorry my voice is getting pitchy but I don’t understand.” Jenny said rising from the table. 
“Please wait. I know what you are going through with losing your husband right now. I know that you feel it is the end of the world. I am not sure if this has happened to you or not yet. But you will find other men attractive.” 
This is normal for everyone. It does take time. But you have to be willing to look past your husband.” 
Jenny started to cry. She did not know why she was crying. She did not want to move on and think of other men. She was happy with Jay from the time they started dating. Yes, they had a few arguments but they never got too bad. 
“I want to ask you something. How long after your husband died did you find someone else?” Jenny had to know the answer. 
“I waited six months before I slept with someone else. I never fell in love again, but I do have all sorts of fun. So I am happy.” 
Tabby got some plates from the cupboard and sat them on the counter. She opened up her oven and took out the lasagna, and she dished some onto each plate, she got the silverware and sat the food on the table. 
They talked between bites. They joked, laughed, and talked serious. Jenny was glad she met Tabby. She was a good woman and she would be able to help her get over Jay. 
“I should go home now. I have to get my clothes off the line and get things around for work in the morning. I will come by and see you when I get home, if you would like?” 
Tabby looked as if she were going to cry. But she didn’t let them fall, in a cracked voice she said oh that would be lovely.” She smiled then she hugged Jenny. She walked Jenny to the front door and stood there watching her cross the street until she was in her own yard. 
She thought wow. What a wonderful woman. She was lonely and needed someone to talk with. Everyone got lonely at some point in their life. 
Her mind automatically went to Kaleb. She shook her head and walked into her house. She stood at the doorway and looked around. It was lonely around here without Jay and she never did get the baby she wanted. 
“Maybe I will ask him out for a cup of coffee tomorrow. He is a nice guy and Tabby was right I don’t have to sleep with the first guy, but get men friends.” She smiled to herself and head out the back door. 
She smelled her clothes and loves the smell of the outdoors on them. They were dry and ready to go in the house so she could fold them. The clothes felt rough but that was what she wanted, especially her towels. 
Chapter 8 
Jenny folded her clothes and put them away. She kept one outfit out for tomorrow. She was going to start doing her hair and make up again. Instead of looking so pale and then she just would throw her hair in a ponytail. How cute is that? It is for little girls and she was far from a little girl. Even though she is petite. 
Jenny called and left a message on Tina’s home voice mail letting her know she would be into work in the morning and she would bring her a cup of that cappuccino she likes so much from the gas station. 
She wanted to talk with Tina about the two new people she had met, Tabby and Kaleb. She did not know if she could talk about him without turning red so she would leave him for last. She would see him soon. They hung out together all the time. Tina was giving Jenny the room she needed. She knew that because Tina told her that during one of their many talks. 
“Jay what do you want me to do? I know that you are looking down on me right now making sure that I make the right decisions. What is right here?” 
She knew she was crazy now. She was asking he dead husband for help in her life. Should date or be alone? She shook her head and went into her bedroom. She needed some more sleep. She slept because of the meds the doctor gave her. However, she was off those now and sleeping on her own. She had her good nights and her bad ones. Tonight was going to be an easy one. 
Jenny slept through the night. That was great news for the rest of her day. She got up and took her shower. She had to take it this morning because she was too tired to think about a shower last night. The shower further helped wake her up. She did not waste any time in the shower today. She got out, dressed, and was headed to her car within twenty minutes. She still had time to stop by the gas station and her boss/friend her hot drink. 
She jumped in her car and headed for the main road so she could go to work. She was pulling out when saw that Kaleb was right behind her. She laughed to herself. Where was that man going now? He was always doing something. She remembered right then something about a new hand. She tried to look into his yard but she did not see anyone there. 
She turned left at the main road and Kaleb went to the right. Well, enough of that. She was done thinking of him today. She had work she had to be done. She was acting dead herself so now she got a lot of work to catch up on. 
Jenny pulled into the parking lot and parked next to Tina’s black explorer. She loved that truck she did not let anyone drive it either. She smiled at that thought and grabbed the cappuccino from the passenger seat. She opened her car door, grabbed her purse, then the keys, she got out of the car, and bumped the door with her ass so she could shut it. 
She was walking towards the building when she noticed someone opened the door. She must have seen her coming because Tina was standing in the doorway holding the door open for her. 
“Good morning. You may have your coffee after I set things down.” 
Tina followed her with her eye brows drew tight together in the middle of her forehead. She knew Tina was burning a hole in her back. Jenny felt good to be getting back to normal. 
Jenny bent to the right so her purse would slide down her arm into the chair; she threw the keys on the desk, and then sat the cup holder on the desk. She handed one to Tina and she kept the other one. 
She smiled at Tina, inhaled her drink and laughed. “This smells good and taste good. I needed this just for the taste.” 
Tina walked closer to Jenny and put her hand to head checking to see if she had a temperature. She looked into her eyes and asked, “Are you sick?” 
“No. I am actually feeling great. I am starting to piece my life together. I want to tell you about my new neighbors.” 
Tina smiled and asked her how about lunch. They decided on where they were going and got ready for work. The first patient should arrive in less than five minutes. 
She was glad all she had to do is answer the phones and take care of the patients file. She was good at that. She had a chirpy voice when she wanted to and it made her sound happy all the time. 
When the first patient walked in Jenny knew her by name and face. They both lived around here and went to the same school. She thought they would give her these looks like what are you doing here. However, she did her job with a smile. 
“Good morning, Mrs. Wexler. Please have a sit. You should not have to wait long.” She smiled and put her head down so she could do the sheets she is working on for their blood work. 
The time was flying by. Jenny looked at the clock and it was ten to noon. She made plans for lunch with Tina but she needed to get this work done. She did not like to leave anything unfinished. 
“Are you ready to go?” Tina asked from behind her. 
“I am so sorry. You could go eat and come back or we could eat something here call it in? I have so much work to catch up on and you know me.” Jenny said trying to smile. 
They stayed in the office so Jenny could get more work done. She could eat and chat with Tina at the same time she did her work. 
“Tell me about these new neighbors of yours. Do you like them? Are they weird?” 
“Slow down and I will tell you everything. I have only met two of them so far. However, this woman named Tabby she is like a mother figure I guess you could call her. She is so nice. She just broke my heart. I noticed people stay away from her. I found out the reason they stay away from her is that she talks a lot. 
. However, she lives across from me. She invited me over for dinner. 
“Wait a minute. So everyone else stays away but you have to find out why? What would you have done if she were crazy?” Tina asked her. 
Jenny laughed. She knew Tina was worried about her but she was sure she could of taking on Tabby. She rolled her eyes and continued. 
Anyways she sat down at her kitchen table and talked about everything and anything. She lost her husband not too long ago, so we clicked right away. She made lasagna for dinner. It was homemade to I am sure. I told her I would come spend an hour with her every day. You should have seen her Tina. She was just too cute. 
“Wait but you said you met two neighbors. What about the other one?” she asked her. She was interested in this. 
Jenny felt her ears and face turn hot so she knew she was red. She could not hide it either; Tina was staring right at her with big round eyes. 
“His name is Kaleb. However, before you ask I know nothing about him, besides he helps everyone in the neighborhood. He has someone working for him. That is all I know about him. Sorry.” 
“Wait! You cannot say something about this person and stop right there. There is something that is making you turn red as a fire ball.” 
“He is so handsome Tina. He has pearly white teeth that are straight. He is at least a foot taller than I am and he has the eyes that you can get lost in. His eyes are a brown color but he has this gold ring around the dark part. He is a God.” 
They were laughing when the employees were coming back from lunch. No one spoke but you could see it their eyes they were wondering what was going on. 
Back to work and in four hours she could go home. She would go change her clothes and then she was going to see Tabby. 
The day went by so fast. Jenny could not believe they were seeing their last patient of the day. She was happy to be going home, but she was only going to see Tabby then go home. 
When it times to go home she drove with a smile on her face. She felt better talking with Tina about Kaleb. She hoped he was out so she could ask him if he wanted to go for a cup of coffee sometime. 
She pulled on to the road that leads to her house and there was the guy she could not get out of her mind. He was walking over to Tabby’s house, which that is where she was heading when she changed her clothes. 
She hurried and shut off her car, jumped out of her car, and got into her house. Once inside she ran to her room through her scrubs on the floor. She slipped on a white skirt and pink tank top with white flip-flops, she did not bother locking her door and she walked across the street to Tabby’s house. 
She did not even have to knock on the door; Tabby was standing the doorway with a smile on her face. “You came to see me. Thank you.” 
“I told you I was coming when I got out of work. Here I am. I hope it is not a bad time.” She told her. 
Tabby ushered her inside. She walked into the kitchen and came back to hand Jenny a glass of lemonade with ice cubes. They walked out back to Tabby’s back yard to sit in her yard chairs. 
When she walked out, she saw Kaleb digging some kind of hole to her left. He sure did a lot of work around here she thought. 
“What are you going to be planting over there?” she asked her and nodded her head in Kaleb's direction. 
“Oh we are going to plant a rose bush right there after I bury my cat. He was old.” 
Jenny did not know if she as joking or not but from the look in her eyes she was not kidding at all. She looked sad and she was staring at Kaleb but not seeing him. 
She shook her head and asked Kaleb to come over to her for a minute. He did has he was asked; as she knew he would. She looked between the two of them and told Kaleb to ask her out. Jenny was shocked and Tabby knew it. Jenny took in a sharp breath that sounded like she did not like the idea. 
“I am sorry. I – I- was going to ask you if you wanted to go out for some coffee. I was thinking we could go to the diner and have some, we could chat for awhile.” Jenny was nervous she could tell not only was her hearting beating a million miles a minute, but her voice kept cracking. 
“I would love to go for some coffee. Give me ten minutes to go change and I will meet you back here.” He smiled and walked to his house. 
As soon as he was out of earshot, Jenny turned and glared at Tabby. Who just sat there trying to look very innocent? 
“What?” is all she said? 
“You know what. Why did you do that? I mean I was going to ask him for coffee but…. 
“I was making sure you heard me last night.” 
Jenny talked with Tabby that was trying to give her tips while she was with Kaleb. She wished he would hurry up, she didn’t think she was ready for this, but she did promise herself last night this was what she was going to do. 
When Tabby informed her that he was coming. They walked outside to meet him. 
“We can take my car if you want.” Jenny said. 
They climbed into her car after they had a little talk about he could not drive her car because she wanted to drive it. In addition, when men drove your car people assumed things. 
He looked at her and smiled before climbing in the car. He turned his head so he could look at her while he was buckling up his seat belt. He did not say anything just looked at her and then straight ahead like he was in the army. 
The ride to the diner they were both silent. She figured he was thinking about his long days. He probably did not have time to go to the diner with her; he was just being nice to her in front of Tabby. 
They got out of the car and Kaleb walked next to her with his left hand resting at her lower back. 
She shivered from his contact. She hoped that he did not feel her shiver, she chanced a peak at him and yes, he did feel it. He had this small smirk curling his upper lip up, which was sexy as hell. However, she was embarrassed. 
Chapter 9 
“Don’t worry about. We are going to have a cup of coffee and chats remember?” he whispered in her ear before they entered the diner. 
When they walked in all eyes were on them. She turned to look at Kaleb and then at her own clothes. She opened her mouth to say something when the customers were greeting him. When they picked a booth to sit at the cook poked his out and said hi to him. 
He sat down after Jenny. She has never been out with anyone that waited for her to sit before he did. That was different but it was nice. 
“I see you know the whole town.” She joked. 
“Relax were fine. I do know many people. I have lived here almost all my life.” 
Jenny held her hot cup of coffee between her hands, they were not cold but she needed to keep them busy. She would pick the cup up blow in the cup and then take a small sip. Replace the cup back on the table and rub her first finger around the edge of the top of the cup. 
They chatted about so much. He was interested in her. He asked her about her past, what she did right now, and about the future. She thought this was sweet. Most men were not like this now days. They were out for one thing and one thing only. Sex! 
Neither of them realized how late it was getting. When she looked at the time on her watch, it said 7:30. “We have been here about two hours. Should we get back?” she asked him. 
He paid the bill though she tried to pay for her own coffee. He walked her to her car the same way he walked her in the diner with his hand at the small of her back. He opened the driver’s door for her and held it open until she got in and sat down. 
When he got in the passenger’s seat he turned to look at her while he was putting on his seat belt, he paused and said, “I would like to take you out again. Maybe for dinner?” 
She turned the key in the ignition and said, “I would love to go out with you again. I had a lovely time.” 
He chatted a little bit on the way back to her house. Something about what all he had to do tomorrow. She listened to him, but her mind was on him asking her out again. She felt like a teenager about to go study with her first boyfriend. She was so happy and giddy. 
When she pulled down the street to get to her house she seen there was a car in her drive way. She got closer and knew it was Tina. She would be pissed because she could not get in and who knows how long she has waited here. 
She pulled in behind her friend’s car and turned her car off. They both got out of the car at the same time. She seen the look in Kaleb's eyes. He was questioning her with his eyes if he knew it or not. 
“I wonder if my friend Tina could be at Tabby’s house.” 
She seen him smile and walk over to her. He was standing so close she could smell man and some cologne she thinks is cool water. However, he smiled to good. Yummy enough to eat. 
“I am going to go home. I cannot wait to take you out to dinner. I had a great time with you to.” He kissed her cheek and walked to his house. 
Jenny put her hand to her cheek where he had just kissed her. She felt like she was in daze, when she felt normal and realized people were around her, she looked to see Tabby and Tina standing there staring at her. 
“What?” she said with a shrug of her shoulders. She did not think anyone seen him kiss her. Guess she was wrong. 
“What do you mean what? I am happy for you, but who is that? And where can I get one at?” she laughed. 
Tabby stepped forward and hugged her then said, “You look happy. You and Kaleb deserve to be happy and you can tell you to be hot for each other.” She chuckled. 
Tabby said good night to Jenny and Tina before walking home. Tina followed Jenny into the house. She walked into the living room sat her purse down on the couch and turned to say something to Jenny. 
“So what did you think of Tabby?” 
“Don’t try to get out of this. Who was that? Did he kiss you?” 
Jenny knew her friend would pester her until she told her what all was going and what had happened. Therefore, she started from when she first moved out here up to when she seen him kiss her. When she was done with her story, Tin was staring at her with tears in her eyes. Jenny did not know what was going and before she could ask her why she was crying she jumped up and hugged her. 
“I am glad you are moving on with your life. You should be happy and that man is fine. If you don’t take him I am jumping his bones.” 
Jenny knew that Tina would be staying the night and going into work with her in the morning. She would take her own car because she does not like to feel stuck. At least that is what she says. Jenny let Tina sleep in her bed all her life, so as adults they still shared a bed if they stayed the night with each other. 
The next week flew by. She seen Kaleb every day. He would stop by her house if he did not see her outside or some where doing something out on the main road. On the main road is where the gas station sat along with a grocery store, convient store, and some others. 
He stopped by Thursday night and informed her that they could not go out this weekend it was to busy for him, plus the guy he hired was not having the best of luck. 
He didn’t say much but something about he cannot remember much about himself and he has a hard time doing the task Kaleb as him do, but he was trying to help him. He said he would want someone to help him if he was in that position. Jenny had to agree with him. 
“I know things get busy. I am sorry you are so busy. We can aim for next weekend and see what happens.” 
“You are the best you know that. Any other woman would be pissed right now. I will make this up to you. I promise.” He gave her a peck on her cheek. 
He never tried to kiss her with his tongue. He always kissed her cheek or pecked her lips. She was starting to think maybe he was trying to get out of a date with her. But she told herself he wouldn’t do that he really is busy. She sees him all the time running back and forth and he helps everyone. 
Jenny was bored and she was tired of thinking about Kaleb. She needed something to do in her spare time. She grabbed her purse and headed to the realitor office. The woman had to know something about her other house by now. Is it listed? Is there an agent working on selling the house? What is going on with it? 
She could have made this phone call from home but she needed the drive to clear her mind. She would drive around awhile and just be by herself. She was on her cell phone waiting for the Mary to answer her phone. When she did she sounded like she was out of breath and told her she was working on her old house and would be in touch with her in a few days. 
That did nothing to help her relax. She was driving all over. No place in mind to go just driving trying to figure things out. She knew she was falling in love with Kaleb but how could that be and she didn’t know how, she loved someone else just a short time ago, and now she is a confused person thinking she is in love with him. She shook her head don’t like to yourself Jenny. You love that man and you need to deal with this one way or another. You cannot move since  you just moved out here. 
She didn’t want to fall in love with someone this fast. She knew the saying you couldn’t help who you fell in love with she wondered if it kind of went with when you fell in love. She was not going to tell Kaleb she was in love with him. They see each other all the time yes and they had coffee once. She would run him off. 
She decided she needed to go home and sleep on it. She did her best thinking when she was sleeping. She knew that didn’t sound right but that helped her. 
She wondered how he felt about her. They talked all the time. He never mentioned he wanted a girlfriend. What did he want from her? He never tried to have sex with her. Was something wrong with her since Jay died? 
When she got home and pulled into her drive way and she seen Kaleb sitting on her porch. What was wrong? He was never just sitting around waiting for anyone. 
She opened her car door and walked up to her porch and stood in front of him. 
“What is wrong? I never see you sitting around.” 
“I was worried about you. I have been sitting here for an hour and you didn’t come back. Are you okay?” 
“I was going to ask you something but not right now. I am fine you can go home now, Kaleb. I will see you in the morning.” 
He had her head spinning. He cancled their date but he sat on her porch the night before their date worried about where she had been. 
“I am not going home. Jenny I was worried about you. Please at least give me your cell number so I can get in touch with you.” He was begging her. 
Jenny led Kaleb inside her house and sat on the couch with him. She looked into his eyes and she could see that he was scared for her. She didn’t understand anything any more. 
“Jenny, I didn’t want to admit this but I think I am falling in love with you. I don’t know how this happened. I have kept my heart safe for years until you came along.” 
“I don’t know how I feel right now. I think I am falling in love with you to but it is to soon. We got to go slow with this.” 
Kaleb nodded his head yes. He leaned over to kiss her, this time he did not peck her lips he held her face between his hands and gave her a passionate kiss. He left her breathless and her head was spinning. 
He showed himself out. Leaving Jenny sitting on the couch with her fingers to her lips and a throb between her legs that she couldn’t stop. 
She needed a cold shower and some sleep. She needed sleep before she got home she really needed sleep now. 
Jenny couldn’t figure this guy out. Was he some kind of stalker? He was good looking and still single. There maybe a reason for that. She thought as she was gathering up some of her mess that she has been makinging around her house in the last few days. 
Jenny threw the rest of her dirty clothes in the clothes hamper and sat on her bed, she was debating if she should call Kaleb and make sure he was okay. She inhaled deeply and dialed his number, she blew out her breathe and then push talk so it would be ringing. 
“Hello.” 
This voice sounded so formilar it was errie. She shook it off and said “Yes can I please speak with Kaleb?” 
There was a silence so she didn’t know if the person on the other side of the phone hung up or not, until she heard Kaleb say “Hello, sorry about that, this is Kaleb. 
Jenny asked him if he was ok and then told him why she was asking this of him. 
He laughed a little.  He cleared his throat and explained she was usually home at a certain time, when he was walking by Tabby’s to get home, she mentioned something. 
Jenny that was sweet of both of them. She knew she made the right choice moving out here for the fresh air, but to start over. 
“Can I ask you one more thing?” she asked him sounding nervous. 
“Of course.” 
“What did you say the name of the guy working for you?” 
“Oh TJ why?” 
She quickly got off the phone with him. She felt like an idiot for thinking it was Jays voice. She knew he was dead yet she still put herself through this. She had to get a grip on life, that was the point to move and to start dating again. 
Jenny was exhausted tonight. She didn’t even change her clothes or get her shower she so desperatly needed. She would have to get up and in the shower and out the day at the same time in the morning. She would be rushing but oh well, she had a life. 
 
 
 Images: I give credit to whom this cover belongs to...I got this from Google. All rights reserved. Publication Date: February 12th 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-kimmyj79