Secrets Unveiled43 Because You Won't Touch Me This book is dedicated to the many persons in my life who have taught me that imagination and books are everything.  To my sons who I hope will never forget their role with their wives and significant others.  Don't drive your love ones elsewhere because you are satisfied.  Open your eyes and realize your partner and their needs matter.   
 
 
 First Encounter 
 Here I am 10 years into this marriage and all I can think of is "why you won't touch me". 
   
 I remember when we first met, you walked into a wall looking at me, I laughed and you walked away.  You came back days later and we scheduled our first date.   
   
 That first date for me was only about sex.  Here I was a single mother of two and it had been a long time since any man had touched me.  I was in it for the sex.  I was going to get mine and leave. I take care of me, I take care of my house and my boys, men do it all the time and I am entitled to do it also. Besides, I did not want a serious relationship with any man.   
   
 So we met that dark Saturday evening in the hotel you chose for us.  As I entered the room I did not want your flowers or anything to drink, I came for sex and sex only.  My first experience with you was like none I ever had.  Was it because of your strong hands, because your arms wrapped around me made me feel secure or was it your dark, dark body I felt myself swimming in.  Just thinking about that first encounter leaves my panties wet even now.     
   
 I remember you kissed my neck, your firm soft lips filled that space right after my ear but before my hairline, you grabbed by neck, and penetrated me ever so softly.  Squeezed my neck, in and out, in and out, oh God, my God you are for me the best. 
   
 As I rose with you the next morning I knew I had to leave that room.  I did not want to give in, I didn't need you, I came only for sex and now I needed to make my exit.   
   
 Well here I am 10 years later and all I can say is why won't you touch me like that again?" 
   
   
 
 
 
 Masterbation 
  Masturbating is a familiar art form now.  I go months between your touch.  Months before your lips touch mine.  I lay in bed at night dreaming how our next sexual encounter would be.  I lay there needing to satisfy me. The state of my organisms is my concern since its not yours.   
   
 As I Masturbate I can feel your left hand run up my thigh to my warm, throbbing, chocolate colored minge.  It's hot inside and just waiting for your long hose to extinguish the fire.    You pump and pump with you hose until the fountain that flows inside of me meets with your extinguisher.  The flood begins, juices crashing on all sides.  I yell and you quickly exhale. Satisfaction!! Masturbation is necessary to bring me satisfaction, to help me feel somewhat whole again.   
   
 Life is so unfair.  How do I level the playing field.  Is it wrong for me to cheat?  Can I meet some other man who would have sex with me.  Where do I look?  My desires are important and I will seek to please me.   
 
 
 
 Looking and Wondering 
 Making my decision to cheat was not hard for me, I needed to feel attractive again and I was willing to step out there and make myself feel just that.  I knew a new man in my life would make me forget how unattractive I was feeling.  The wondering if I was fat, ugly, old, undesirable, all those feelings would go away. 
   
 Where do I looK, how do I find someone?  I pretty much go three places; home, work, and of course church.  Church is definitely not the place to meet men who only want sex.  Those church going men want relationships and that I already had.  See even though my husband is not touching me, not having sex with me, we have a relationship.  I am the only one going through this relationship knowing things are not ok.  I am the only one going through this relationship begging and pleading for sex.  I am the only one seeing our sex lives as dysfunctional.   Anyway, I am open and looking for an outside sex partner. 
   
 I continue my regular days doing what I always do, home, work, church.  Then one day it happened, I saw him but I don't believe he saw me.  Who was this tall, bald, carmel colored man?  Nice smile and a smooth singing voice too!  He was someone I could cheat with, only if he was interested.  How would I get his attention, would he even talk to me, would he notice me from amongst all these other women throwing themselves at him?  Do I just dreamd him into my sexual fantasies like I do my husband?  Do I imagine a threesume?  How far would I go with this man?  Do my thoughts and desires become reality?   
   
   
   
   
 
 
 
 It Happened 
 For the second time in a week I ran into this man.  We will call him Sly.  He was a six foot tall man with a very pretty carmel colored skin.  He appeared to be very shy from what I had observed.  Sly never seemed to approach women, he really seemed uninterested, was he gay, exactly what was he deal? 
   
 My thoughts must have ushered his need to talk my way because just as I was willing to dismiss him as being gay he walks by and says "hey".  Maybe there is hope, maybe he will talk to me or maybe I am dreaming, simply dreaming. 
   
 Several weeks had past and I had not seen Sly, then about 4 weeks later, after the startling "hey" Sly reappears.  There I was it was after church and everyone was heading home.  Sly appears to be walking my way, he appears to be looking at my car.  My, is he going to speak?  Do I finally get the chance to carry on a conversation with this man?  Then all of the sudden there he was face to face with my side window.  I hadn't started the car yet so I rolled down the window.  My heart froze, I smiled, and he proceeded to say, "Hi and you don't know me but I would like to get to know you".  Wow, what a boring yet sincere opening line.  Did that one line hold my interest? Was it just enough for me to say who I am and that I am a married woman.  I smiled and from his full, soft carmel colored red lined lips he says "I know your name and I know that you are a married woman but also noticed that your husband does not appear to be the man you need him to be, can I get to know you"?  Amazing how could this Sly know all those details about my relationship without ever speaking with me?  Do I have a sign on me which says "horny, look here, I'm horny". 
   
 Well I wanted this, the ball is now in my court, do I press for full court play or do I travel and throw it all away.   
   
 
 
 
 Cheaters - First Time 
  The ball was in my court and I responded in an affirmative manner.  I was ready to carry the ball, let him dribble (he, he) or anything else he liked to do.   
   
 How long was I going to wait before having sex with this man?  Would I let him kiss me? See kissing is very intimate and I did not want intimacy I just wanted sex.  Was I willing to go all the way, from anal sex to oral sex? Did I want to be just a cheater or a dirty, dirty give all I got cheater?   
   
 After weeks of talking we decided to meet.  He had his own place so I found myself in his apartment.  Clean with a very modern style.  His bedroom reflected the same kinda of style but for a guy to have a bed with high wooden post that stretched high to the ceiling seemed odd to me. 
   
 The time had come.  I was bursting with anticipation.  I was ready to have sex with this man.  Sly approached me right where I stood, as he slowly ran his finger tips down the left side of my face he said relax, don't be afraid.  I looked into his brown eyes and his lips began to press firmly against mine.  He was kissing me and I was enjoying that sensual feeling.  That feeling of a warm embrace. 
   
   We quickly move from standing to lying on the bed.  Clothes came off and there we were in our sheer nakedness.  He slide me from the end of the bed with feet hanging over the edge to the center of the bed.   Kissing me, he raised by left arm, pulling it above my head on the left I quickly realized my hand was tied to his bed post.  My face must have reflected amazement for he leaned and softly said "I got you".  I smiled and he proceeded to tie my right arm to the other bed post.  Here I was strapped and loving it.  Something inside of me had been awakened.  
   
 He now was in control.  I was at his mercy and felt secure in the midst.  Sly began to RUB my breast.  Left then right he began to suck my nipples.  He continued caressing me, reassuring me he was going to take care of me.  Then it happened this man spread my legs and gently forced his penis into my vagina.  He was of larger size and it felt as if his dick was pounding the roof of my vagina.  It felt good, I finally had a man inside me and Sly knew what to do.   
   
 Here we are my screwing session was a fantastic love making session.  As my body felt his strong hands rubbing the woman I was I heard him say "You are a beautiful woman", "I love every inch of you".  Sly continued to make love to me, one organism then two, I cried and he came.  Realizing he had brought me to tears Sly asked if I was ok.  Yes, I replied, I just hadn't had a man touch me like this in a long time.   
   
 I was satisfied and so was he. 
   
   
 
 
 
 Nothing Going On 
 When I was younger I use to look at old people and wonder do they still engage in sex.  What age is it that sex leaves a couples relationship?  65 has to be that magic number but why at 57 for me am I not having sex? 
   
 They say there is something called a "closet gay".  Maybe my husband is one.  I see how he has energy for his home boys, how excited he gets when they come around but I don't see that same excitment with me.  Is he a "closet gay"?  Naw, I know when I suck him off he enjoys my warm lips wrapped around his chocolate cock.  I know that when my soft pussy surrounds his firm cock he says "mmmm, you feel good".  I know he explodes hard becuase I taste every bit of it. Sometimes, I believe he may be a "Roadside Rapist".  You know, that man who on his way home from work, stops, picks up a street walker (prosistute), fucks her in the back of his car and as he builds to climax he wraps his hands around her neck and he squeezes her until she can't breath any more.  The more she fights the harder he squeezes.  He squeezes her neck untl he cums and she collapses on his seat.  Dead! Then he pulls over to the side of the road and dumps her body. 
   
 Wow, my imagination is really out there or is this a part of the imagination I want for me.  Do I want to feel my husbands hands around my throat, squeezing until I cum as hard as I possibly can?  Do I want him to release me from his grip right before I pass out?  I read that some women like their sex  like this, some women like the power of a man in control.  Some women want their sex to be so exhausting that all they can do afterwards  is curl up into a ball and sleep, refusing to have that man lay next to her because every one of her nerves endings are pulsating with pleasure, because no matter where she lays, how she turns, where he touches, she jumps, she can't stand his touch until her nerves endings stop ringing with joy.  
   
 Either I really need to see a therapist about my sexual thoughts or I really, really, really need to be fucked.  I need a good old fashion man and woman fuck session.  I need my boobs sucked, my ass fucked, my pussy poked and a kiss to send me off to sleep all night.  You know that kind of old fashion man and woman fuck to where you don't think about having sex for another 2 or 3 days later.   Well at least I can dream!     
   
 
 
 Publication Date: May 28th 2015 https://www.bookrix.com/-sgccc66ad0ded45