H.L.B. Adams Love or Not 
 
 
   
 
Jamie was sitting at home that night thinking of what a mess she had gotten herself into this time. She knew shouldn’t have cheated on Nick especially with her sisters boyfriend, but she couldn’t help she fell for him. If she had just realized she didn’t love Nick before she met David, maybe she wouldn’t be in this mess. Maybe she would have been happy single and never have looked twice at David. 
Jamie had met Nick at work a year ago. He was wearing a navy blue pinstripe suit with a white shirt and a light blue tie. He was tall about six feet maybe little taller, with wavy dark brown hair about chin length and rich chocolate brown eyes.  
She was the new desk clerk and he was one of the editors at the publishing company. It did not take long for them to fall for each other. They had a lot of the same ambitions. Rather he had had the same ambitions and starts as she had. Jamie wanted to become an editor at HG Publishing House, but that was all Nick knew. That is as far as Nick got with Jamie’s ambitions because he did not seem to care about anything farther than that, probably because that was all he could help her with. But really Jamie wanted to be a writer, and hoped getting a higher-level position at the publishing house would help get a publishing deal. 
	Jamie and Nick had a great relationship for about a year. They talked about moving in together; or rather Nick talked about moving in together and getting married. Jamie always seemed to feel apart of her was missing in the relationship, as though she was in limbo. She felt as if she were in this relationship just to be in a relationship while waiting for the right guy to come along. 
	The door bell rang as Jamie was getting dressed. She ran to the door unlocked and said, “Come on in I’m getting dressed. I’ll be ready in a few minutes.” Nick walked in as Jamie was heading back to her bedroom. He followed her; he couldn’t help she looked so damn good naked with her long dark brown hair reaching almost to her butt and those beautiful curves. He also loved he hazel eyes, he would swear that they changed color with her mood. All of here five six self mesmerized him more than he would ever admit. 
S He walked into her bedroom and grabbed her before she could put anything on. 
	“Why don’t we have little fun before we go to dinner?” 
	“We will miss our reservations if we do that.” 
	“Oh don’t worry about that, I know the owner, we can show up whenever we want.” 
	“Well in that case.” 
	He took one good look at her then started to do what he had been thinking about doing all day long. He skipped the kisses and took one of her beautiful breast into his mouth. She arched her back and moaned. He pushed her back on to the bed. He straddled her keeping his mouth on her breast he took one finger and inserted it inside her. Her breath became ragged and each moan became more darkened with desire. 
	He took his mouth from her breast and moved his head lower; he kept his finger in her as he moved. Moving it back and forth with so much speed and force her hips started to buck. He removed his finger and started devouring her with his mouth. Her shriek of pleasure almost undid him. He knew then that he wouldn’t be able to take it slow; he had to be inside her.  
	She started to undress him slowly, it was like torture. He couldn’t take it any longer; he snatched his clothes off. He pushed her back down on the bed gently. Then he was on top of her. 
	“Sweetheart there isn’t going to be anything gently about this.” 
	“And you think I mind that.” 
	“Good,” and with that he thrust himself hard inside her. He moved inside her with deepening thrust. She moved with him perfectly. Her moans of pleasure turned him on even more, and he thrust himself even deeper inside her. She came with such a shriek that the neighbors a mile away must have heard. Right after she came he did, and he collapsed on top of her. 
	They never made it to the restaurant that night. They had sex two more times, and both starving decided to order Chinese. About midnight they finally exhausted themselves and passed out. 
	The right guy did come along, but unfortunately he came along in the form of Jamie’s sister’s boyfriend, David. David was nothing like Nick. His dark hair was shoulder length. His blue eyes sparkled like diamonds. He never wore suits, just jeans and a t-shirt. The only thing they had in common was height. 
 Amber and David had been dating for about two months when Jamie finally met him. Jamie didn’t think much of him at first until her sister told her that he was a writer, a songwriter. She still didn’t think about him as anything but her sister’s boyfriend, but she admired him a little, just like she admired in writer. 
	David had been struggling in the business for years. He had had a few songs recorded, but not enough to put him on the map. He had just recently decided to give poetry books a try considering lyrics and poetry are so similar. 
	When Jamie heard this a red flag went up. Here was a guy she could talk about her writing with; she decided then to give him a chance, to try a little harder to be friends with him. 
	Jamie made editor with the help of Nick after only a few months of working at the publishing house. She did not want to show her work yet, but her sister asked her to help out David, Jamie agreed, but only if his work was the absolute best and this meant working with him on it. 
	Jamie and David started working every free evening they had together on his poetry. David started to see in Jamie what she truly was a struggling writer, someone who just wanted people to read her work and be touched by it. 
 One evening while working David made his feelings known while talking about one of his poems. 
“Well this verse seems a little off, but that’s ok not everything has to be absolutely perfect as long as what you write comes from your heart,” said Jamie. 
“I don’t know it still sounds a little weird to me,” replied David 
“Ok then what about it would you like to change?” 
“I don’t know all of it” 
“Why?”  
“Well I’m…” 
“You’re what” 
“I’m confused about that feeling portrayed in the poem” 
“Well you don’t sound confused in the poem. And anyway isn’t this about my sister. You better not be confused about your feelings about her. You better not hurt her.” 
“Oh, never mind” 
“What are you not sure you love her because if you’re not, I don’t think that is what you would have written unless you were trying to write this for her.” 
“It is not about her” 
“Then who is it about an ex?” 
“No!” 
“Then who?!” 
“Who do you think?! YOU!!!” 
“Umm David, I think you are confusing emotions. We have just been spending too much time together. I think maybe it would do us both some good if we took a break.” 
“Whatever.” 
	The next day they told Nick and Amber that their evenings of working on the poetry was cutting into work and spending quality time with the person they loved, but to keep them from being worried they said they were not going to give up on it they were just going to put it off. Nick and Amber took this excuse considering the fact that David had just started a new job at a music label, and Jamie had not long been promoted to editor and could not risk falling behind on any of her work. They figured that when Jamie and David were settled in their jobs they would resume their work on David’s poetry. 
	It would be another month before Jamie and David were faced with their feelings. They were all supposed to be going out of town for the weekend. They were going back to Jamie and Amber’s hometown to go camping. Nick got hung up at work and told Jamie to go on he would meet her there. When she got there David was the only one there. 
“Hey, where’s Amber?” 
“She had to work late she said she would come up later. She told me to go on ahead. She said counting on how late she has to work she might come in the morning. Where is Nick?” 
“Work, he should be here in a little while.” 
At that moment her phone rang, it was Nick, “Hey sweetie, I’m not going to be able to make it. The publishers are freaking out about the changes the author did to the book at the last moment and they want me to work all weekend. You know this book goes to press next week and I have been working on it for months. They think it is going to be a hit. Please don’t be mad. Stay and have fun with your sister and David.” 
“Ok, don’t work to hard bye.” She hung up and looked at David. 
“So, who was that?” 
“David, he’s not coming, he has to work all weekend.” 
“I’m sorry. Do you want to stay? If not I understand.” 
She looked at him and thought for a second, if Amber doesn’t come I’ll leave so I don’t do anything stupid, but then why would I do anything stupid even if she doesn’t come he’s my sisters boyfriend yet again how will I ever know. “I think I’m going to stay. Nick told me to stay and have some fun anyway, and I need a little vacation.” 
“So, do you think if Amber decides not to come she’ll call?” asked Jamie 
“Why? If I tell you yes do you stay a while? If I tell you no do you leave?” 
“No, nothing like that I was just wondering if there was any way of knowing if we were going to be the only two here.” 
“Oh so that’s it, you want me all to yourself.” 
“Oh shut up and grow up.” 
“It is most likely she will call. So no worries. Ok.” 
“Ok.” 
“So do you want to show me where this campsite is?” 
“Sure.” 
“I’ll leave my car here; it will be easier to get down there in your truck.” 
“Why do I get the feeling this is not a designated camp area?” 
“Because it’s not. Only people who know about it, and who have camped here pretty much their whole lives are allowed down here.” 
“We aren’t going deep into the woods are we?” 
“No we are going to a creek. I hope you brought your swimsuit.” 
“I always have my swimsuit. I have it with me every day.” 
“Huh…” 
“Skinny dipping, you can’t tell me you have never been skinny dipping before.” 
“Well maybe once or twice. Ok here is the road.” 
“Ah no. You are not taking my truck down that steep rutted out hill.” 
“And why not?” 
“Because I said so.” 
“Do you think it won’t make it back up because you know my car has, but barely and your truck has four wheel drive so I think it will make it back up. Don’t you?” 
“Ok fine.” 
“Oh I was gonna go anyway.” 
	When they got to the creek and set up camp, David decided to go for a swim. Jamie tried not to look but could not help herself. See if you have feelings for each other in which you are trying to suppress you should not get naked in front of each other it makes things a little harder. It is like an invitation, and the invitation was received and accepted. 
	While David was in the creek swimming his phone rang, it was Amber, “Hey Jamie where is David?” 
“Oh, he’s swimming. Would you like me to get him?” 
“No that’s ok. Just tell him I won’t be able to make it this weekend; my boss is making me work all weekend. I’m sorry.” 
“Hey, it’s ok Amber we will all get together another time.” 
“Also tell him to stay and enjoy his weekend off. He hasn’t had many of those lately.” 
“Ok. Bye sis.” 
“Bye.” 
	David got out right after Jamie hung up with Amber. “Who was that on the phone?” he asked. 
“Amber, she wanted me to tell you she wouldn’t be able to make it down this weekend, but she wanted you to stay.” 
“Oh well, it looks like you and me are in the same boat.” 
“Yep. So, let’s have some fun.” 
“I noticed you brought three coolers.” 
“One with some food, one with cokes, and one with beer and other alcoholic beverages.” 
“Good, let’s start having fun. Which one has beer?” 
“The red one.” 
	About a case and a bottle of Jack Daniels in the subject changed from cars, football, and music to oh by the way do you remember that poem, this time it was Jamie who said something. “How long are we going to sit here and dance around this? You do remember the poem you wrote about how you feel about me, or felt about me, or how you thought you felt about me.” 
“I do feel that way about you. Jamie I love you. I don’t know how or when it happened, but all I know is I love you.” 
“Damn it, she’s my sister and what about Nick.” 
“I didn’t say I was going to jump your bones. I’m going to leave all decisions up to you. I’m telling you this first; I have been planning on breaking up with your sister for a while now because things just don’t feel right. I knew when I got with her she was not the one for me. I knew then that I should have broken up with her, but I liked the companionship. It is getting to hard to fight might heart, even if you had not come along I would have broken up with her because she is not the one for me. Don’t think this is your fault.” 
“How is it so easy for you? I have known long before I met you, or rather felt something was not quite right between me and Nick yet I could not break things off. I still feel like I can’t.” 
“You have such a big heart. You are afraid of hurting him that is all.” 
“But if we happen it will kill both of them, and I will lose my sister.” 
“Maybe one day she would understand. True love how could she not understand true love at some point in her life when she finds it.” 
“I swear sometimes you are way too much of an optimist, but I like that about you.” She leaned over and kisses him, and then attraction won out. 
“Are you sure about this? You are the one who is confused about this.” 
“Right now I don’t care. I am alone with you and drunk. I feel like taking advantage of you.” 
“Um in that case…” 
	He slowly started undressing her. His lips touched every part of her that was slowly revealed. He kept going seeing that she was not going to stop him. When she was completely undressed he took one of her breast in his mouth and reveled in the sweet moans that came from her. He slowly made his way down to her most intimate parts savoring every part of her. When he reached his destination he begins to kiss and savor every bit of her. Her moans started to reach new heights.  
“You know this is torture for me. I love pleasing you but if I’m not inside you soon I think I might die.” 
“Then what are you waiting for?” 
“That is all the encouragement I need,” he said as is slowly inserted his erection inside her. A soft moan escaped her lips. He began a slow rhythmic movement inside her. As both of them started to peak his movements became more frantic. He moved deeper inside with ever thrust. At last with one hard deep thrust they both came, and he collapsed on top of her. 
“Well, I’m wondering why we haven’t done that before. As far as I’m concerned that was amazing,” David said. 
All Jamie could say was, “Uhuh.” 
They didn’t go to sleep until the sun was coming up. They only stopped to eat when they both realized they were starving. They made love all weekend. 
“Well time to go back to reality,” Jamie said as they were packing up. 
“As far as I’m concerned that was reality.” 
“Well if you haven’t forgotten you are with my sister and I’m with Nick.” 
“Well I was serious when I said I was going to break up with Amber, and I believe if Nick is not making you happy you should break up with him.” 
“And what come to you. You know that would hurt Amber. I can’t do that.” 
“You don’t have to come to me. No matter how much I would love to have you, all I want is for you to be happy.”  
	The next week Nick noticed Jamie was acting weird, but he chopped it up to stress at work and she agreed with him. “So sweetie how is the new book they have you working on?” Nick asked concerned about all the stress she seemed to be under. 
“Oh it is going great. They want it out next year. I am just doing preliminaries right now. The real work won’t start for a few months.” 
“How is everything else at work?” 
“You know the usual, a little hectic but overall fine.” 
“Ok…I was just wondering why you seem so I don’t know distant lately. I figured it might be stress from work.” 
“Well, I am a little stressed about the new book I am working on. This is the first time I have had to work on a book by myself. I don’t want to screw up,” she lied. 
“Don’t worry if you need any help come to me. I’ll give you a few pointers.” 
“Thanks, now let’s forget about work for a little while.” 
“What do you have in mind?” 
“I think you know.” 
“Oh well in that case, I think you should start undressing, slowly please. I like to savor every bit of you.” 
For the next few weeks everything seemed to go on like normal then Jamie got a call from Amber. “Hello” 
“Hey Jamie. It’s Amber.” 
“Hey, what’s going on? It sounds like you are crying.” 
“David just left. He said that he did not love me and he could not stay in a relationship with someone he did not love.” 
“Oh no, honey. I’m sorry.” 
“I told him that it takes time to grow to love someone. He said that he had tried so hard but he couldn’t love me that way. He said that we were the type of people who would make great friends, but never a great couple.” 
“Oh sweetie. I’m so sorry. Is there anything I can do?” 
“Yeah he left some stuff at my place, will you take it to him.” 
“Sure.” 
“Thanks. I call you tomorrow and let you know when you can come pick it up. Bye love you sis.” 
“Love you too. And again I’m sorry.” They hung up, and Jamie could not help feeling guilty, she had caused her sister’s heartbreak.  
	The next day her sister called her at four in the morning, Jamie could not help but think that this was a rather early time to call and tell her what time to come pick up David’s things. The call was not about picking up David’s things. “Hey, Amber.” 
“You backstabbing slut. Does Nick know? Oh what am I talking about of course he doesn’t know? Why would you tell Nick you were cheating on him?” 
“Hold up Amber. What are you talking about?” 
“I decided to look through some of the stuff David left, he left a book of his poetry and guess what almost all of it was about, you. The time you two spent together; the camping trip, everything. I can’t believe you would do this to me.” 
“I…I…I…” 
“Oh shut up. There is nothing you can say to correct this. I want you to come over today while I am at work and get his stuff and yours. If you are here when I get home I will not be responsible for my actions. I never want to hear from you or see you ever again.” click. Jamie sat on the bed devastated. She couldn’t believe it; she had just lost her sister. 
	That morning she called in sick and told Nick that she had to go talk to her sister that Amber was devastated about her break up with David. Nick agreed with Jamie that she needed to go be with her sister in her time of need. Jamie headed out for David’s apartment first. “Open up. I know you don’t go to work until nine.” 
“What, did you hear I broke up with your sister?” 
“Did you know you forgot to get your shit out of her apartment? Now she knows, and she hates me.” 
“What I brought all of my poetry books with me.” 
“No, the hell you didn’t. Now, I have to go over there and get all of your stuff and my stuff while she is at work, and she wants me gone before she gets back or she is going to well just think about.” 
“Oh, I swear I thought I got everything.” 
“If I find out you are lying to me I swear I’ll kill you.” 
“Do you want me to come with you, so you don’t have to make another trip over here?” 
“Sure I guess.” 
	While Jamie was at David’s, Nick was at work receiving a very disturbing phone call from Amber. “Hello.” 
“Hey, Nick. It’s Amber. There is something you ought to know.” 
“What?” 
“Jamie and David have been having an affair. They have been cheating on us with each other.” 
“Look Amber I know you just went through a hard break up, but you don’t need to hurt other people to, put Jamie on.” 
“What are you talking about, put Jamie on? She’s not here. I’m at work. She was supposed to go to my place to pick up her stuff and David’s stuff today.” 
“What? Come on.” 
“Check the caller ID if you don’t believe me.” 
“Oh, hell. I’m going to kill him. I’m going to…” 
“Hey, don’t take any rash actions. Think calmly.” 
“I can’t believe she did this. We have been together for a year. I thought we were happy. I thought she loved me.” 
“I know.” 
“Well, not anymore.” 
	David and Jamie arrived at Amber’s apartment, and went on in since Jamie had a key. They found their boxes sitting at the door; on top of Jamie’s was a short simple note “leave the key behind.” As they were leaving the building David asked, “Would you like to just hang out a little today, since you called in sick?” 
“No, thanks. I believe I’m just going to go home and go back to bed. I believe I am starting to feel sick.” 
“Ok, maybe some other time.” 
“Maybe.” 
	When Jamie got home she was surprised to see Nick’s car parked outside her building. She looked at her watch. “Too early for lunch.” When she walked in her apartment what she saw made her stop in her tracks. Nick was packing up everything that belonged to him. “What’s going on?” 
“Oh, don’t you know you and David. I thought you would at least have the nerve to tell me when you were no longer interested. How many other guys have you slept with? Wait I don’t want to know.” 
“Nick wait. It’s not like that.” 
“It’s not like what? You didn’t cheat on me with David. You didn’t take advantage of the fact that both me and Amber had to work that weekend so you two could be alone. You know you could have come back, but wait you wanted to stay with your lover. You know that is probably not the first time. All of those evenings y’all were supposed to be working. Let me guess you knew it was wrong, and you didn’t want to get caught so you stopped those evenings. Well guess what I’m stopping this. We are over; obviously we were over a long time ago for you.” 
“Wait. It was not like that. Please let me explain.” 
“No, Jamie I don’t want to hear it.” He walked out the door with all his stuff in his hand. 
	Jamie was still sitting on her bed hours later with a tear stained face when the phone rang; it was David. “Hello” 
“Hey, what’s wrong?” 
“She told Nick.” 
“I’m sorry. Do you want to go out and drown all your sorrows over a beer?” 
“No.” 
“Do you want me to come over, and we can just talk.” 
“No, I just want to be alone.” 
“Ok, I’ll call you tomorrow to see how you are.” 
“I don’t think that is such a good idea. At least not for right now.” 
“Why not?” 
“David we hurt two people. Two people I truly care about. Until I can find a way to make things better with at least my sister, I think it is best we take a hiatus from each other. How about this I’ll call you? I promise I will call you.” 
“Ok, as long as you promise,” he said positive that she would never call him. 
“Oh come on Amber just answer the phone. I know you’re home. Fine then I’ll just talk. I never meant to hurt you. I felt as though David was the only person who understood me. I don’t know how it happened it just happened. I fell in love with him Amber, but I will never talk to him again if you will just forgive me,” Jamie said to the answering machine. 
The next day when Jamie got home she had a message on her answering machine. It was from Amber. “I don’t know if I can ever trust you again, but I know I don’t want to lose you. I slept with Nick. I thought you should know we are together now. And if you are truly in love with David be with him. It is hard to find love, and I want you to have it.” 
Jamie picked up the phone and called Amber. Nick answered the phone. “Hello.” 
“Hey Nick, its Jamie.” 
“I know. I dated you for a year I think I should be able to recognize your voice. I heard the message you left for Amber. I guess I understand now. I’m not mad anymore.” 
“I’m sorry about how everything went down. I really am sorry Nick. So are you and Amber happy together?” 
“Actually yes. I think we have more in common than you and me ever did.” 
“I’m glad you are happy. Is Amber there? I would really like to talk to her.” 
“She is hold on just a sec.” 
“Hey Jamie.” 
“Hey, I just wanted to call and say I am sorry again. And thank you for understanding.” 
“Well with time and the explanation I guess I realized there was not really that much anyone could do. You two fell in love and didn’t want to hurt me or Nick.” 
“Thank you. I love you, Amber.” 
“I love you too, Jamie. I’ll talk to you later.” 
“Ok bye.” 
Jamie hung up the phone and then turned around and dialed David’s number. He answered on the third ring. “Hey, I thought that you would never call. I thought you were just saying that you would.” 
“Well I did what I said I would first. I made amends with both Amber and Nick. You know that they are dating now.” 
“Yeah I saw them out together a couple weeks ago. So?” 
“So, I was wondering if you were still interested?” 
“Interested? I was never interested. I’ve always been in love with you. That goes past interested.” 
“Oh David, I love you too. Come over please. I want to see you. I want to feel you.” 
“I’ll be there in just a few minutes.” 
 
 
 Publication Date: May 26th 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-hlbadams