C Q Cherry Locked (18+) Filthy Virgin  For The Naughty ;) 
 
 
 Chapter 1: Sugar & Spice 
 After a long day serving drinks at the country club, I kick off my shoes. I groan and reach down to press on the red areas of my feet.  Damn it...I need new shoes...or I need to stop standing for so long. I'm sure they're swollen.  I close the hotel room door, which is where I live since it's closer to my job and cuts rent in half . $30 a night beats $950 any day. That's not even including bills. At my last place, a one room apartment, my rent was $1250. Yeah, I'm saving $350, which is nice.   I can use it on necessities. I walk to the club, which is five miles away. I don't mind walking that twice a day to keep my stomach flat.  I walk barefoot on wood floors, winching each time my feet flop on the floor and cause pain. I open a glass door of a shower-tub combo in a white bathroom. Then I lean to clog the tub and run cool water. I turn to the vanity, where a bowl sink and tall mirror are. 
 An olive-skinned, blonde-haired, blue-eyed girl stares back at me in the mirror.  Hmm...I'm breaking out. I  move closer to the mirror and examine pimples all over my forehead. "Ugh! I need to cut out sugar." My light voice pouts, then sighs. My hands open a bottom cabinet on the vanity to retrieve Epsom salt. My fingers curl up the bottom of the high-waisted jeans I have on, then I walk back to the tub and pour the salt in. I sit on the wide ledge and swing my feet over. When my feet submerge in the steaming water, I exhale in pleasure.  Ahh...that's so much better.  A buzz from my back pocket makes me smirk. I slide it out, face unlock my phone, and click on Tinder. There, ten messages from different men wait. I reply to each. 
 
 
 Your eyes are so big and beautiful :)  
 
 
 - Thank you, I'm flattered.  
 
 
 
 
 Are you free tonight? 
 
 
  - No, I'm not free tonight. I just got back from work. I'm exhausted 
 
 
 
 
 You're so fucking hot!  
 
 
 - I wonder how much hotter you can make me? 
 
 
 
 
 Hello beautiful <3 
 
 
 ️ can we FaceTime? - Maybe tomorrow.  
 
 
 
 
 Hi there, how's your night going? I hope it's as fine as you - Lol, nice pickup. My night was busy. How's yours? 
 
 
 
 
 I want you in my bed... - I want to suckle your nipples ;0 
 
 
 
 
 Can I ask you something? - Sure, what is it? 
 
 
 
 
 Bring that pussy, baby; you'll love what I'll do to it  
 
 
 - I hope that's not all talk... 
 
 
 
 
 Hi, I'm Mark. What are you looking for on here? - Hi, I'm Madison. I'm looking to sext, but without showing anything. What about you? 
 
 
  I rub my back, where it's sore and tender to the touch. While I do so, my eyes view 3k matches and swipe right on a dozen of them. Each of the guys are Cali 10's and could even be models.  But I know looks don't always mean the guy will be the one.   Hot guys are sluts....man whores, not husband material. They're good to toy around with and nice to look at, but that will wear off after a while. Beautiful men don't seem to settle down until they've  sowed their oats as much as possible.   I need someone who's hubby material. I'm not dumb. I know I won't find that on Tinder. I'm just on the app to do something to pass the time while I wait for Mr. Right    
 Some people think men don't want virgins. But I think men find it hotter than any fast girl and any cam girl. Judging by all the men in my inbox, which has to be close to one hundred, I found that this surprises and arouses them . I haven't had one guy get turned off; instead, they wonder how tight I could possibly be. I love telling them that I'm completely untouched. No insertion of any kind has gone inside me. Sex toys aren't for everyone. Some guys ask if I don't have experience, then how would I be good at sex. I tell them that I observe and study and have a BlowJob Rulebook amongst a Sex Position book. Their stunned replies always amuse me.   I guess they think virgins are still living in the 1950s. They probably think I don't masturbate...I do. I'm not  entirely insane. 
 All I know is that I won't be unprepared . Whoever my lucky husband will be will definitely be screaming on our wedding night. And yes, the honeymoon will be traditional. No sex beforehand...yet fooling around will be allowed.  In the morning, I wake with my hair all over my head and the sheets in a twist around my body. The alarm from my phone blares the air raid siren. The only sound that works for me. I shower with watermelon body wash and wash my hair with it too. I'm sure to use feminine wash thoroughly down there and even squat to get the hard-to-reach places. I scrub and rinse myself three times, then bend to do the same below. The setting of the showerhead is on sprinkler mode to line my butt crack, much like douching without the ball tool. 
 I wash the suds from my hair, flip it back, then get out. I take two towels from a rack and wrap one around my head, then one around my breast.  Breasts that are a 24b cup, I'd like them bigger and higher. This is one of my flaws. If only I had money to throw away on my insecurities.  A FaceTime tone vibrates my phone. I rush to the counter and read the screen.  Who is JohnnyB, and why is he FaceTiming me?  I ignore it and dress. I snap on a black dream angels bra from Victoria's Secret, slip into black jeans and a cream shirt, and plop my feet into work shoes. My hands rub the towel across my head and then lower it to wring out the bottom strings of my hair. On the way out, I slide the phone into my back pocket and tie my hair into a tight bun. The weather outside is scorching. The sun is working overtime, and the wind is nonexistent.  Oh god, why didn't I grab a cold water?! 
 My legs power walk the busy streets of downtown California. Gas stations, restaurants, banks, theaters, libraries, and cafes line the way to the Santa Rosa Country Club. I work at a private estate that resembles a mansion full of oval windows and has the greenest grass ever. The light gold and gray roof shingles give it a feel of a beach house on steroids. The balconies and pillars which connect the bottom foundation are classy and enormous. The acres of land that enclose the estate hold ponds and golf resorts as far as the eye can see. I've been working here for three years now and enjoy the favoritism from my boss. I offered to take double shifts only if I could ditch dress pants.  Slacks don't look good on everyone...I look disproportioned in them.   The little hips I have disappear, and my butt flattens like an old woman's. I couldn't look like that at a fancy ass country club! My future husband could be there and get turned off.   Although that's a pipe dream. 
 It's not that easy to snag a rich man. My friend  Lily and I have been trying, but the wives always cock block. Either them or their children. Sometimes the husbands visit without their family wanting a booty call. It's crazy how men think women are all hoes. Hard pass. Yet, it was fun flirting with the dudes. Us girls need to strengthen our dirty talk game somehow.  I reach the lobby of the clubhouse and am relieved when the central air hits me when the double doors open. I gasp as shuddering jolts my entire body.  I wonder if that's what it feels like when a guy cums inside a woman. If so, yes, please.  A double sided, brown staircase on dark pink walls trimmed with white and ceramic tiling greet me. On each side of the large room sit two check-in desks. I step to the one on the left. 
 The receptionist, a brown haired guy a bit older than me, smiles maliciously. "It's pretty hot, huh?" 
 "Don't..." I chuckle. 
 "You’re sweating…maybe I can cool you off." He cocks a brow. 
 "Just check me in, Sam." 
 "Oh nice, will you stay the night or do a walk of shame before morning?" The pretty guy leans forward and supports his head with his hand.  Okay, that's adorable...he knows what he's doing. 
 "Keep dreaming." 
 "Oh, I will." 
 I pick up a stack of letters and whack him with it. "You play too much." 
 "Maybe you should join me. It'll be fun with two players. Come on; you're single; I'm single. Why aren't we banging?" He puts on a smooth tone to animate his deep voice. 
 "Only after the wedding." 
 "Ahhh..." He mumbles dejectedly. "You gotta be the only woman doing it that way." He types on a computer and then hands over my ID. 
 "I'm pretty sure I'm not." I wink and blow him a kiss before ascending the stairs. I do so with my waist thrusted, so my booty is more pronounced as I climb the steps. My blue eyes teasingly peer back at Sam. 
 "You're not being fair at all." He says with a groan. 
 "I have no clue what you mean." I smile to one side and bat my lashes. Upstairs is a carbon copy of downstairs only with dining areas, a bar station, and dozens of French doors leading to a real life paradise. A few workers wipe tables, sweep, wash dishes, and dust chandeliers in an empty hall. 
 "Hey, boo." Lily, my bestie, who rocks midnight blue hair, waves my way. She has a pie face, unlike my slim one, and her brown eyes are golden in the harsh sunlight. 
 "Hey boo, ready for the day?" 
 "Yeah, I love nothing more than snobby rich assholes sending food back." 
 I help her tackle the dishes, wine glasses, and silverware. "The best customers ever, especially when they don't tip." 
 "The cheapness of it all, I swear. We can't save up for college this way." 
 "We can work on our credit and take out a loan?" 
 "Then we'll have to pay it back, though; that's the thing," Lily grumbles. "I wish our parents had a savings for us instead of just throwing us out after prom." 
 "Me too...this sucks. The one job we thought we'd be racking up with is a letdown." 
 "It's never too late to be a stripper." Lily sniggers. 
 "We got the moves." I dance with my shoulders. 
 "Speaking of moves, wanna hit a real club tonight?" 
 "Um...I don't want to go alone....and be the third wheel again." 
 "Invite one of your Tinder boos." 
 "I could, but I don't know. The guy might think we're dating." 
 "Girl, you are on a dating site." Lily's light voice chimes with annoyance. 
 "I know...still, Tinder is a used condom that you don't want to touch again." 
 "You're dramatic." Lily splashes me with bubbly water. "Try and date already. How you gonna know a guy isn't worth it if you don't date him first??" 
 My mouth drops to the floor. "You did not just-" I splash Lily back. 
 "Don't be a square. Find the cutest one and ask him out. You could be missing the one by not doing that. Just open the mystery box take a peek, and see what you get." 
 "Maybe you're right..." 
 "I am." 
 "Don't get cocky ." 
 "I bet you I'm right." 
 "Dude, picking a random guy won't lead to a ring on my finger," I say bluntly. 
 Lily rolls her eyes. "Have some faith...surprises can happen. Just make sure his package looks big." She sticks out her tongue. 
 "I'll size him up." I grin widely as I dry the silverware one by one. 
 
 
 
 Chapter 2: Eye Hookie 
 I serve orange juice to breakfast goers at the beginning of the day since it's too early to mix alcohol. Lily works the room as a waitress, sitting down hot plates of pancakes, sausages, eggs, and oatmeal.  I always wanted to taste the decorative plate of food, but I'd rather not waste $ 50. I'm in no condition to splurge. The food here must light the tastebuds on fire by how the guest savors it. I guess I'll never know for sure.  Classy jazz music circulates the room and sets a mellow vibe...more like a rich vibe. The men's wives wear the silkiest dresses I've ever seen, and the husbands' sport suede...or velvet, I can't tell from this far. Even the children rock expensive fabric. Material   that I'm sure makes them feel like royalty.  It must be nice to dress like a prince and princess every time you're out. Their childhood must be a dream world. 
 The dining area is packed, as always. The same table finishes early and head out back to the golf courts. I think they're businessmen, there's always four of them, and the exact routine plays out. A dark haired one holds a French door open for the lot and waits patiently.  This one has taken my breath away every Sunday. His broad shoulders, green eyes, jet black hair, full lips, and height draw me in. Of course, he never notices me. He must have a wife.  I shyly watch him and adore his bushy eyebrows and long lashes. He has his silver suit jacket around one shoulder, slacks, and a white dress shirt with the first three buttons loosened.  I can see chest hair.  
 I gawk at this beautiful man, who would never go for a girl like me. Who would never pay attention to the help unless paying a bill. My eyes scale his bottom half; he has thick legs and an impressive ass for a guy. "Ogling again?" Lily whispers from behind me. 
 I jump and blush. When I say blush, I mean it. My cheeks flush red. "No..." 
 "I don't get why you haven't made a move." 
 "Because he never notices me." 
 "Well, of course not, not with you being this far away." She scoffs. We both watch him stroll out of the door. Our eyes go to his ass. "You know you want that juicy booty." 
 I snort and turn away to hush her as a wife nears the counter. "Five orange juices, please...no sugar." 
 "Yes, ma'am." I pull a tray from below, add five glasses to it, and pour liquid into each without spilling anything between the glasses. I lift the heavy tray with ease. My balance is perfect as I hand it over to Lily. 
 "Where to, ma'am." The woman leads my friend away. I'm thankful for this. It means the subject is dropped.  That guy doesn't want anything to do with me. It's been about a year of playing a one sided peep show. He's out of my league and most likely dates models with flawless skin or the athletic type. I'm neither.  I peer through the doors and watch the dreamy guy cover the green grass with a firm stride. The ripples of his shirt flare between his muscles and reveal curved lines. "Still spying?" 
 I jerk in response. "Stop doing that!" 
 "Hehehe...I will if you talk to him." 
 "Lil, he's just eye candy." 
 "You don't know that for sure, Maddy." 
 "Did I not say he never pays me any attention...plus I'm not pretty enough for him. Let's be for real." 
 "Oh, come on, you're hot, babe. Stop lying to yourself." 
 "But I'm an acne face." 
 "Then wear makeup." 
 "You know I'm not into that." 
 "Then cut out sugar. How about we make a pact? Let's go a week of cleansing bad shit out of our bodies to see how clearer our skin gets. Trust me; it will get clear. Then you'll have enough confidence to make a move. We can even buy good skincare to motivate us more. I used proactive once, and omg! My skin was brand new.” 
 "I have dark circles." I point under my eyes where another flaw of mine is. 
 "There’s stuff for that.” 
 "But my-" 
 "No more buts...unless it belongs to your boo thang. Let's do it!" She holds out her pinky. 
 "Fine." I sigh and close the swear with my pinky. 
 When nighttime hits, the grounds outside are lit with light circles on the sidewalks and lamps. The tint is beige and reminds me of how a wedding at night would look. The grand hall, the music, and even the four tier, strawberry cake for dessert, take my mind to a fantasy land.  I've had my wedding planned out for years now. I kind of went crazy over it after my prom. I have the theme  picked out, the songs, the place, a tent wedding, and even the ring. Of course, my younger self went overboard, but I've always been a girl who would rather wait. I never had a boyfriend because of how the boys at school turned me off. They were so adolescent and rude. They never knew boundaries when it came to their hands, so I slapped the assholes and kicked their nuts. 
 Guys my age have been  alienated from my attractive radar. Older guys, say a guy in his mid twenties. I'm not so sure about going any older than that. I'm 22 and would like someone who is 26, no older than that.  When the crowds from outside load away golfing equipment into caddies and flood back inside, I unlock a glass cabinet of bottles. I select liquors and wines and load the counter with glasses. I fix my hair, the bun is starting to wear out. A line forms before the bar. 
 The first customer is an old man who eyes me up and down. My skin crawls at how lustful his stare becomes. "Hello, sir. What drink would you like?" 
 "Something sweet, like you, honey. Surprise me." 
 I pick out booze, two rums, grenadine, and mix it in a cocktail shaker. I shake for a good ten seconds, then pour the yellow drink into a tall glass, topped by a lemon and cherry on the straw. 
 "Enjoy." 
 "Thank you, sweetheart." He winks. 
 The next customer is an older guy too. He orders a Brandy Alexander. I use cognac, white creme de cacao, then a heavier cream and shake it up. As I pour it, the man, who has black-grey hair, says, "you have beautiful hands." 
 "Thank you." I hand him his glass. "Enjoy your drink." 
 The line grows onward from here. Every adult requests a drink, to the point that all the waiters come to assist me. They set up their stations the same as mine, then accept customers. I move faster than them. For every one of their customers, I do three. I have a record set here for the fastest served drinks. Lily hands off to her last customer and looks my way. "He might come up." 
 "No, it's always the blonde guy who gets the drinks, not him." When everyone in the room is seated, I take my break. The breakroom is down the hall and around the corner, next to the restrooms.  I didn't pack a lunch, so I'll have to get a vending machine salad, which might be a good thing. My skin needs good food.  I buy the meal, along with a water and sit alone at a table. I pass the time by snacking while reading my tinder messages. 
 
 
 JohnnyB: I FaceTimed you. Why didn't you pick up? 
 
 
 Me: Because you didn't ask first .  I go to read our texts to refresh my memory.  Oh...I get it. He did the video call to try and show off his skills since I told him: I hope that's not all talk... 
 
 
 JohnnyB: Well, I'm asking now. 
 
 
 
 
 Me: That isn't asking... 
 
 
 
 
 JohnnyB: I don't like your attitude 
 
 
 Me: oh, go cry a river. Odd that you took that much offense; seems like you are all talk after all .  He unmatches with me. I laugh and chew on my salad. "Bye." I sort through my other messages. I have fifteen now.  I should try out  Lily's suggestion and choose a hot guy.  My eyes scan through the men's profile pictures until I find a guy who looks nice personality wise, not just look wise. One guy is cute enough and walks dogs as a job and plays hockey. His bio reads:  Looking for good conversation and nice times out, please don't ask me to cash app you for nudes  
 
 
 
 Chapter 3: Risky Business 
  The club is smoky and dark inside. The strobing lights make it hard to see anyone in the darkness.  I'm surprised that the bartenders can produce drinks in such scarce visibility—props to them. I'd break everything if that were me up there.  The dance floor is massive, and the bar station covers the entire circumference. There are at least ten workers shaking drinks. The place is jammed with partiers who form a pit in the middle of the floor. The techno music booms and rattles the walls, and giant speakers line the ceiling. As we pass down into the pit, I admire how straightforward the women are. 
 I spot a few who basically have sex with clothes on. Full on hump and thrust right in public.  How can they be so wild without there being something more behind it?  Their sensual expression and moans entice me.  Oh, I'm being dumb. It's obviously for pleasure, the same thing I get from sexting. But typing is nowhere that explicit...nor does it bring that  same heavenly lust.  Jessica goes to get us a round of drinks; she's the designated orderer. Lil sways to the music and curves her body and hips. Her serious expression cracks me up. I join her in a lighter dance, much like a belly dance, only it starts at our hips on up. 
 I can feel Brad's eyes on me, so I peer over and call him over with my finger.  I want to play a little and maybe get the same sensation those other women are getting. It'd be nice to know what that feels  like.  "Dance with me." I waver my body before him, going a little closer than I planned. There are only a few inches between us. I work my hips and swing my hair; then, I spin around in front of him.  Will he get the hint that I want some touching?  My hands move upwards and reach back to wring around his neck.    
 Brad holds me by the waist.  Oh !  I respond to his hot breaths beating down on my neck and his lips on my ear. "Is this okay?" 
 "Yeah," I sigh at the feel of his palm squeezing my hips. My skin electrifies and tingles. My downstairs stirs awake and throbs up a fire. When he kisses my neck, I lean my head back and moan softly. 
 It feels like every cell in my body is ablaze. And that shuddering feeling I had before is maximized. My gut heats up like a furnace; this shocks me so much that I stumble into him. I feel his bulge on the lining of my ass. I gasp and close my eyes. My moans are louder now. Brad trails his hands up my dress and stops below my breasts. He nibbles at my ear now while clutching the skin under my boobs.  All of the spicy euphoria, on top of his breathing on my neck, makes me quiver all over. Every part of me is sensitive as if I have no skin. As if my veins are exposed.  His dick hardens against my ass. I tremble again, expecting more to come. It doesn't.  Why isn't he moving it around?? 
 "Can you move it around?" I ask in a sigh. 
 "Are you sure?" 
 "I am...but it's just for fun. No sex." 
 "Alright." His large hands slide to my abdomen. My blood boils where his hands rest, and 
 I huff and swallow. Brad presses me against him and slowly moves his waist forward. I breathe longingly. My eyes roll to the back of my head.  Oh my!  I stiffen; this only adds more pressure to where his dick is. I slowly rock into him. A shrill moan escapes my lips, and my mouth waters.  So this is what it feels like? What the hell does it feel like with clothes off?! 
 "Umm...hello?" Lily says from in front of me. "Sorry to interrupt, but can I borrow her real quick?" 
 I open my eyes to find my friend watching me scoldingly. "Sure," Brad says, clearing his throat and catching his breath. 
 "Thanks...come here!" She yanks me by the arm and leads me to the restroom. 
 "Why are you so mad?!" 
 "Are you serious???" 
 "Yeah." 
 She pushes the women's room door open and turns on me with her arms crossed. "I said go out with the guy, not to oil him up with foreplay?!" 
 "It's fine. I told Brad there wouldn't be any sex." 
 "Then you put on a pornstar show." 
 "I know what I'm doing!" 
 "No, you don't; that wasn't teasing. You two were close to orgasming!" 
 "Look...I'm having fun, that's all." 
 "Doing that still requires being careful. Fooling around can turn into sex real fast in real life. Just slow down some, dial it back. This guy is gonna think you do this all the time; you don't want that lable." 
 I roll my eyes. "It's all harmless." 
 "No...it's not. This isn't one of your sexting guys. Brad isn't separated by a screen, okay?? Just slow down; that's all I'm saying." She throws her hands into the air before leaving me alone in the junky restroom. 
 I know what I'm doing. Playing around can go far without sex happening. I know this; she doesn't!  I stomp from the room and make my way back to Brad, who's at the bar now. I travel a sea of people to reach him on the higher level. "Hey," I say from behind him. "That was crazy, huh?" I move to sit beside him. 
 He glances over at me with a light smile. "I think we took it too far for your friend." 
 "Yeah...she overreacted." 
 "I don't think so. We were getting a bit wild." 
 "Were we??" 
 "Yeah...that was kind of hardcore for the first night." 
 "Oh no..." I lay my head down in shame. 
 "What?" I feel him move closer to me. "You okay?" 
 "You must think I'm a slut." 
 "No, I don't. You don't come off like a slut at all." 
 I raise my head, slump my shoulders, and sulk. "That must be sarcasm.” 
 “It’s not.”    
 “I ruined the night." 
 He laughs and shakes his head. "No, you did the opposite. I like the good, bad girl thing you got going. I definitely want another date." 
 I lower my eyes to the bar counter. "I don't usually act like that. I only chat dirty with guys, not go out with them." 
 There's a brief pause, long enough that I make out a boosted bass cover of Bad Karma. "Wait...what?" He asks, baffled.  Oh hell, did I just give myself away?  "I don't think I heard that right." 
 "Oh, you did," I smirk. "It's a long story. I'll tell you next time, okay?" 
 "Hey, you freaky thangs!!" Jessica sings from behind us. She's wasted and slurs her words. 
 "Y'all nasty." She snorts. 
 Lily isn't far behind. I turn away when our eyes lock.  She's gonna let me hear it later; I just know it. It's not my fault; it's my curiosity's fault. I was tempted by the  thirst I saw on the way in. Now I might want more. Okay, I think I did fuck up. I can't run around like a horny dog tryin to get my leg over! I can't behave this way next time. Or any time after. If I do, I'll get comfortable with being fast and be a mistress instead of a wife. 
 "She's wasted; I gotta get her home. Are you two over the sex frenzy thing?" Lily looks between us. "And you. I thought you were respectful. Did you lie?" 
 "Umm...no. I didn't start it. No offense." He clenches his teeth at me. 
 I shrug. "None taken."   
 "Well, miss bad influence, get home without any more orgies." 
 Brad hides his mouth with his hand, but I spot his shoulders jerking. He's hiding laughs. "Relax, Lil." I look at him and smile. "We can text later." 
 "I could walk you home; it's late." 
 I shake my head. "That's a bad idea. I'll just call a Lyft." 
 "I can walk you out and wait with you." He offers. 
 "That can be done." 
 All four of us leave out at the same time.  I know Lil is observing me with Brad. I feel that surveillanced sense, the back hairs of the neck standing up? That one.  "How long have you been on Tinder?" He asks as cars flash by. 
 "Umm...a few years." 
 "You must have a lot of guys in your dm's." 
 "I do." 
 "So you've been on dates, I assume?" 
 I beam up at him and squint. "You're trying to figure out what I meant at the bar, aren't you?" 
 "No...yes." He smiles. "You can't leave me with that much mystery." 
 "Oh, yes, I can. I forgot to mention that I'm a tease." 
 "I can tell. Is that the most you ever teased? I kinda get that it was with how you and your friend reacted." 
 "I can't answer that." I hide my lips by poking them backward inside my mouth. 
 "Ahh, come on, tell me." 
 "Yes...and no," I smirk flirtatiously. 
 "Mmm...interesting." He grins. "Was it your hottest one?" 
 I look off into the street and ponder. "Maybe." 
 "I think that means yes." 
 "It would have been if I made eye contact with you and saw how hot and bothered you were. I was too overwhelmed to notice." 
 "Oh yeah?" 
 "Hmm, mmm." I twist my waist in a bubbly manner. His eyes dart down to it. I bite my lip. My phone dings, notifying me that my ride is here. "I gotta go…goodnight." 
 Brad frowns at my words; he looks so deflated now. "Alright, good night, Madison." 
 I blush when he says my name. It's the first time he's done it. I've never heard it aloud; I've only read it in text form. So bizarre yet pleasing. "Bye, Brad," I say his name lightly before waving my ride down. 
 For the next few days, Lily and I go on a strict diet for our skin routine. We eat two salads a day, drink only water and tea, and get our beauty sleep. Meaning I can't sext late at night.  Our beauty care includes Clinique blackhead solution, which works for pores and doubles as a cleanse and a mask. Aloe Vera, glycolic acid, almond oil, and expensive ass sunscreen. Lancôme AquaGel, a primer, moisturizer and SPF 50.  The total is over $200 at Macy's checkout. "Are you sure we can't just go to Walmart?" I ask. 
 "The pricy shit is what works...a lot of those Walmart products still have scrubbing beads in them. Which is horrible. We're going to see a huge difference in our skin using high quality products." She digs into her black crossbody bag. "Also, I'm using credit." A Tinder notification comes from my phone, but I don't rush to answer it. Lil swipes her card and side eyes me. "Are you still stalling him out?" 
 "Umm...no, I'm just doing damage control." 
 "Sounds like you are. It's not his fault you jumped his bones. Maddy, you can't freeze him out." 
 "I know..." 
 "He wants sex now; you do know that?" 
 "No, he doesn't. Brad hasn't said that he does." 
 "He’s  is being nice, that's why." 
 "I got it under control. He's just another one of my text guys now since I messed up a normal date." 
 On the way out of the overpriced store, we descend escalators of a mall and stroll past shops. Shoppers run in and out with loaded hands and swinging bags. We pass a corner store full of sweets, bubble teas, chips, and candy. I damn near slobber at the deliciousness. "Look away; we're doing good." Lil takes me by the chin and shifts my head forward. 
 "How about just one cookie?" I complain. 
 "Nope, leave that toxic shit alone. Did you know that sugar shuts down cells in your brain? I'll send you a video to scare you straight." 
 Instead of spending a night alone, I go over to Jessica's place. She has the table set with Chicken Alfredo, veggie platters, and organic cranberry juice, without the heaps of sugar. "I made a little cheat meal to celebrate our achievement." Jess points to the Alfredo. 
 "Oh no, it's not healthy?" Lil groans. 
 "I used reduced cheese; the pasta is full of carbs, though." 
 My eyes lock on the steaming pasta. The fact that it's not healthy makes me want it more. "We can eat it, Lil. It's not like it's chocolate and ice cream." My tastebuds inflame at the mention of these sweets.   
 "I guess..." When we take our seats, a buzz jiggles my back pocket. "Answer that boy; he'll never stop if you don’t." 
 I stubbornly tighten my lips. "Not yet. I want to reset what happened." 
 "Babe, please tell her she can't undo grinding on someone?" 
 Jessica nods while adding food to a plate. "You can't. Once you feel someone, there's nothing you can do about it." 
 "I think waiting a few more days will do the trick." 
 "Or just fuck him and move on, so he knows it's just a booty call," Jessica says casually as she hands her bae a plate of food, then starts on the next. 
 "Nah, she can't do that. She's saving herself, remember?" 
 "Oh." Jessica's eyes widen. "Sorry, I forgot you're a virgin...you sure weren't acting that way at the club." She gives me a plate of food and then works on passing out cranberry drinks. 
 "Our Maddy felt a dick for the first time and went crazy." My bestie snorkels. 
 "I didn't go crazy." I protest. 
 "You did...it's alright, though. Just don't do it again if you want to keep yourself saved for the hunk at work." 
 "Lil told me. Why haven't you tried to talk to him?" 
 "Because, as she knows," I grit my teeth at Lily, "that guy is out of my league." 
 "I don't know about that. You're not ugly." 
 "I'm not saying that I’m unattractive. I’m just on a lower level compared to him." 
 "How do you know that for sure?" Jessica contends. 
 "Oh, let me see, it's been a year of me watching him and him never looking my way. That's a strong enough hint." I express my words with sheer irritation. 
 "Let's eat!" Lil says loudly to end the argument.  I'm glad that she squashed the conversation. I'm sick of being paired with someone who isn't into me. At least Brad is showing interest. I'm sure the rich guy is a snob and  turns down girls left and right. How is it he never looked my way at all?? Am I that plain? Is my level not high enough? I never actually asked a guy to rate me. I should.  As if reading my mind, Brad messages me. I poke at the pasta with a fork and debate if I should respond.  I want to go a few more days until Brad has  come down from that night. Then I can add him into my sext collection. 
 
 But that physical connection we had  
 did addict me to the touch of something against me. I found myself masturbating more than usual these past days and visualizing a dick in the replacement of my hands. I stopped myself from popping my cherry a few times because I wanted a deeper penetration. Topical stimulation is losing its value. I can't give into the desire...I have to stick to my plan to marry first. I need a reset so I can go back to sending dirty messages. As I told Lil, I need a reset. 
 
 Once I'm at home, I change into my PJs and lay in bed. On my phone, I do a rundown of my Tinder selection. I have 35 messages now. I view a few of them: 
 
 
 What else would you like to suckle? 
 
 
 
 
 Can you send me pics? Here's my snap 
 
 
 
 
 Okay, when are you free to meet up? 
 
 
 
 
 I'd have you scorching like a mini volcano down there, baby. 
 
 
 
 
 Can we FaceTime now? 
 
 
 
 
 Brad: Hey sexy, wyd? 
 
 
 
 
 Are we cool? 
 
 
 
 
 I hope that wasn't a one night stand. 
 
 
 
 What do I do? Should I keep ignoring his texts? He was nice. A lot nicer than I thought a guy could be after being used. I can't have him thinking I'm the type to meet up then erase. I can reply back 
 
 . Me: It wasn't 
 
 
 
 
 Brad: why does it feel like it was? 
 
 
 
 
 Me: I don't do that. It's a lot to explain. 
 
 
 
 
 Brad: I don't mind. I want to know what's going on. 
 
 
 
 I usually don't spill the tea about being a virgin until weeks into sexting. I guess I could tell him. Me:  
 
 I went overboard that night because it was my first time having a physical connection. 
 
 
 
 
 Brad: Huh? 
 
 
 
 
 Me: I'm a virgin 
 
 . 
 
 
 
 Brad: no way :0  
 
 
 you're pranking me 
 
 
 
 
 Me: I'm not. 
 
 
 
 
 Brad: you weren't acting like one... 
 
 
 
 
 Me: please enlighten me of how a virgin should act? 
 
 
 
 
 Brad: you know, innocent and reserved. 
 
 
 
 
 Me: So you think all of us should behave that way? 
 
 
 
 
 Brad: no...it's just how I assume one behaves. 
 
 
 
 
 Me: let me guess, because of movies? 
 
 
 
 
 Brad: maybe... 
 
 
 
 
 Me: that's an overdramatized view. Yes, I'm innocent, but to a certain extent. 
 
 
 
 
 Brad: that's what I like about you. Like I said, you have a good, bad thing about you. I just don't believe you're a v. 
 
 
 
 
 You had to do something before. 
 
 
 
 
 Me: I've made out before with a crush in high school. It was strictly kissing. 
 
 
 
 
 Other than that, no. 
 
 
 
 
 Brad: So you're telling me you're completely unpenetrated??? 
 
 
 Me: I wouldn't say completely....I felt you slip into my crack :0   That's where I leave the conversation....it's all about luring guys in and toying with their anticipation.  I lock my phone, sit it on a nightstand and click off the light. Buzzes from my phone make me grin. About three replies bounce my phone back and forth. I close my eyes and keep the naughty smile on my face as I fall asleep. 
 
 
 
 Chapter 4: Temptation 
  "Maddy, stop torturing the poor guy; he probably came all night." 
 "I hope he did," I leer. 
 "You're dirty." 
 "I know." 
 We eat lunch in a white walled break room, salads and water. Lily reads my chat with Brad and shakes her head in disapproval. "Are you gonna let him get a sneak peek?" 
 "I don't know...I think I gave too much already." 
 "Hmmm....true, take it slow...although you're hooked on the dick." 
 "Am not." I stab at the salads and munch. 
 "Are too. I saw your face when you were in the groan zone. You were hooked!" 
 I look to the side and curl up my lips. "Okay...I was craving it a little." 
 "You were fiening." 
 "Was I?" 
 "That was hotter than my pornhub stash. It was good practice for Jace Harrison too." 
 I choke on my spinach and gulp it down before bucking my eyes. "Huh? Who??" 
 "Your rich boo.” Lil drinks her water. “His name is Jace Harrison. I looked him up in the system. His ID picture is unbelievable. He had to take modeling classes." 
 "You did what?!" 
 "I looked him up, then I googled him. Girl, he's beyond wealthy." 
 "Why did you do that??" 
 "Come on, if you're keeping your legs closed, it might as well be for a billionaire, not a blue collar." 
 My entire face heats up. I can tell I'm as red as a tomato. "That's not ever going to happen; this isn't a fantasy world." Lil acts as if I said nothing and now types on my phone. "What are you doing?" 
 She smiles to herself before turning my screen around. "Live a little...I already have a plan to get you two talking." 
 "You're not listening."I steam at her. 
 "I'm aware, now read."    
 My eyes go to the screen to read google headlines about Jace Harrison. There are photos beside each article that look so professional. He has an extreme stare, one that reaches past your soul and boils your blood. His green eyes are crystal, dark, and very artistic. His black hair is so fine and shiny....luscious too.  Jace has the shoulders of a man made by  God; they're shaped in a perfect square and are wide. His nose is broad. He wears a suit like a mob boss would and gives clothes a sex appeal. The open top and pushed back trouser flaps show off his thick waist and thighs. His complexion is a sunburnt tan which contrasts nicely with his colored eyes. 
 The headlines read: 
 
 
 JACE HARRISON, 28, IS CONTINUING HIS DENT IN WORLD HUNGER. 
 
 
 
 
 BILLIONAIRE DONATES $9 BILLION TO CUT WORLD STARVATION DOWN BY 23% 
 
 
 
 
 THE HOTTEST BACHELOR OF THE YEAR, JACE HARRISON, SEEN WITH  
 A MYSTERY WOMAN. 
 
 
 
 
 FILTHY RICH AND SINGLE, FIND OUT WHY J.H IS WITHOUT A RING. 
 
 
 
 
 WHO IS J.H, YOU ASK? FIND OUT MORE ABOUT THE MAN VOTED MOST BEAUTIFUL IN CALIFORNIA. 
 
 
 "Impressive, right?" 
 "It is...." I shrug in agreement. "I still think he's beyond me. Plus, he was seen with a mystery woman and is single. That means he's a Casanova. That's not my type, so don't set up that talk." I throw her a stern look and then go back to eating. As much as I'm denying him, I can't help but allow his photos to stain my vision.  He is beautiful...more beautiful than I assumed he was. From far away, I couldn't tell . I knew he was good looking, not that the guy was drop dead gorgeous. He's a billionaire, so he has women in bed daily, if not weekly. I'm not that cheap...or that disposable. I'll just continue treating him as eye candy.     
 At the bar, I conjure up fizzy gin drinks, Bloody Mary's, Bloody Elixir's, Anna Bananas, Sour Whiskey, and Mai Tai. And the toughest drink for any bartender. The Old Fashioned. I select a fine De Luxe Crown Royal, syrup, 1-3 dashes bitters. Combine all ingredients into a mixing glass with ice. And stir until the drink frosts up the glass. I strain it into a glass of fresh icy to chill it and add an orange twist. I hand the drink over to a white-blonde guy who is dazzled by my accurate technique. "It appears you made it to perfection." His baritone voice compliments."But looks can deceive." 
 "They can." I watch the icy glass in his hand. 
 "Have a taste." He puts the glass's rim to his lips, without taking his gray eyes from mine, and samples the drink. I lower my gaze to his mouth, then back to his eyes. "Good?" 
 The man swallows the liquid then sniffs the beverage. "It's perfect, doll." I grin to one side and hold my eyes on his. "I'm sure you're the same." 
 A furious woman spots me gush and bat my eyes. The scorned glare she shoots at the back of his head reveals that she's his wife. "Adam!" The red head woman stomps over, glowers at me, 
 then pulls her husband away. "You damn slut!" She says more to me than her husband. I snort and begin to tidy my station. 
 "You need to stop starting drama with wives," Lily says from the opposite side of the counter. "You damn slut!" She mocks the woman's catty voice and bursts into laughter. 
 "The men always start it. I just told him to taste the drink." 
 "Lies, all lies, you did not word it that way." 
 "Okay, maybe it was 5% my fault." 
 "5%??" She raises her brows. 
 "Okay...it was 30/50." 
 "That sounds about right." 
 "Davidson!" A big bellied, bald guy in a suit yells our way. 
 "Uh oh." 
 "How many times do I have to tell you this isn't a chat room? Work the tables." He barks. 
 Lily whips around and hurries back to the dining guest. "Sorry, sir." 
 I go on sorting bottles of alcohol to one side and equipment to another. "Madison." The boss man walks around the corner with a proud smile on his face. "Have you read the Yelp reviews...and the feedback notes in the breakroom?" 
 "No..."I shake my head. "Why? Is it bad news?" 
 "The bar has ten five star reviews and twelve notes about your quick and precise service." 
 "Oh!" 
 "Keep up the good work. I need you on the 4th of July, don't let me down." 
 "I'll be here." 
 "Good, good, carry on." The big man pats me on the back before strolling around the banquet hall to survey his other workers.   
 Yay! Hopefully , I get a raise or extra pay for that holiday.  I wipe the counter and rinse out shakers, glasses, and utensils. This Sunday night is slower. The lines aren't bad; my area has a few buyers here and there.  This is one of the true  Sundays, where time slugs.  I double wash my equipment, so I'm not standing still for too long. Then I stare around the hall. The tables are full of plates of shrimp, lobster, glazed bread, steak filets, chili con carne, potato salad, and veggies. 
 The smell of the food rumbles my stomach. When dessert, cheesecake, is laid on the tables.  I want to gorge. I want to run and steal a plate and chomp it down. But that will ruin my beauty diet. I have to say, my skin is a lot glowy , and my pores are tighter. Even the bumps on my forehead have decreased drastically. I'll keep to the cleanse just so I can look good without makeup. I really want that natural beauty appearance. I'd rather not cake up my face every time I want to feel confident.  The white cloth tables clear one by one; it's close to 10:00 pm, that's when this joint closes.  I can't wait to get home and soak my feet.  I  like being a bartender, but it's killing my feet.  When the hall is clear of customers, the crew and I clean counters, remove table cloths for washing, and place decor from each table into a tall bin. This takes about 30 minutes every night, and the last one to finish gets laundry duty and has to close up. 
 Lily is going slower than she usually does. I find this odd. I pull down a gate that divides the bar and bend to lock it. The others sweep and dust and twist keys into the holes of the French doors. I go to see why Lil is dusting so slowly. "Come on, turtle, my feet hurt." 
 "Wait..." She eyes the other workers in a sneaky manner. 
 "What's that look?" 
 "Nothing." She says in a lighter octave. 
 "You did something." 
 "Nope." 
 "Lil?!" 
 "See you guys tomorrow." One employee bids us farewell. A few seconds later, the remaining five head out with half tired waves and mumbles.  They are beat...so am I.  We wave goodbye. Lily drops her duster onto a cart with the others and then pushes a laundry bin underneath it. I collect the brooms and scan the room for anything else that might have been left behind. 
 "Spill it." Lily steers the cart from the room and into a corridor. I shut the entry doors and lock them. "Well??" 
 "Nothing." In the laundry room, we load the tablecloths into the washer. It has a chute that connects both machines so the wet laundry can be transferred over when ready. 
 "Nah...you did something." My friend zips her lips and winks at me. I don't get anything out of her for the rest of the night. In the morning, I perform my five step skin routine, starting with my pore, blackened mask that I keep on for 5 minutes. After rinsing it all off, I use a cotton pad to dry my face.  My skin looks flawless! Beauty sleep is no joke.  I lean forward in awe and examine my face . It looks like I just got a facial, and my black and white heads are gone. My skin is lighter and smooth . I love the squeakiness.  "This is crazy!" I say, startled. 
 I go add aloe Vera, glycolic acid, oil, and sunscreen. The primer in it has a blurring effect. "Oh wow, look at my face!! Ahhh." I happy dance and take a selfie without a filter.  I  look like I have glass skin...my dark circles have even lightened.   Omg, this expensive crap is bomb! My skin never looked this amazing. It's only been 5 days.  When Lily sees me at work, her mouth drops to the floor.  I know I look good in the sunlight; I did a check on my camera on the way here.  I twirl around in front of lockers in the backroom and pose like a model. 
 "Holy shit!! Why doesn't my face look that nice??!" She grimaces. There're tiny red bumps on her chin and a few on her cheeks. "What the hell? I'm doing the same shit." 
 "Maybe you're allergic to something. Those look like reaction pimples from irritation." I analyze her face. 
 "Maybe it's the acid..." 
 "Try cutting that out and see what happens." 
 Lil scrolls a combination lock, opens a locker, and stuffs her crossed body bag inside. 
 "You shouldn't waste the glow you have. Use that beauty power." 
 "Oh, I will. I feel super confident today." 
 "Good...use that energy on him." She closes her locker and tosses me a leather wallet. I squint down at the wallet in my hands, baffled by the softness, and wonder who it belongs to. "It fell out of his pocket and slid under the table. Jace will be in today for it, hopefully early. You're shining in the sun; he has to see you in daylight." 
 "You. I...said...you need to stop! That's stealing! You're probably on camera!" I stammer 
 "I was sly with it." I try to give the wallet back to her, but she races off when I jab it her way. "Get that rich life!" She shouts on her way out. 
 Lil?! Ugh!" My hand goes to my forehead.  What the fuck?!! Is this what she was planning last night??? I'm not keeping this!  My feet peddle to the lobby to hand it over to Sam. "Hey, a diner dropped their wallet." I hold it out for him to take. He holds his hands up as if surrendering to a cop. This baffles me. 
 "No way, Lil threatened to beat my ass if I took anything from you today." 
 "Well, report her!" I rage. "This is against company policy; you're supposed to hold lost and found." 
 "Sorry...but she scares me." His dark eyes dash to the staircase in fright. "She's heavy handed...my arm is sore." 
 "I'll tell Mr. Thompson then!" I threaten. 
 "No, you won't, then he'll fire your bestie." He shrugs. "Deal with it; Lily has you check mated." 
 I groan angrily and stomp up the stairs. "Fuck both of you!" 
 "Oh, when?" He taunts in an erotic tone. 
 I storm through the doors to the banquet hall and prob the room like an eagle. A few diners look at me while they chomp on French toast and sunny side eggs. I reserve myself and smile at them awkwardly. "Good morning," I blurt and stride past. Lily is waiting on a table; she glances at me with a faint smile, then jots in her notepad.  Oh...I'm going to ...I'm going to slap her!  I inhale all the air I can, my nostrils flare. I roll up the gate to the bar and circle around to the back. I put the fancy wallet in a drawer and close it.  This isn't funny!  Upbeat   jazz music flows through the room and pisses me off because I'm the opposite of cheerful right now. The corners of my mouth curl downward like the Grinch. 
 I bend to take apple juice and orange juice out of a mini fridge and grab lemons and strawberries. I cut up the fruit like a mad chef, get glasses and decorate the rims of each with a slice of the fruit. I ready drinks in advance. When I'm done, twenty beverages line the bar counter. I look over at Lil, who pushes through the kitchen flap doors and carry two full trays in both hands. She serves omelets, hot cakes, and bacon to the guest. When she comes over to fill the trays with the beverages I made, she says, "turn that frown upside down," in a chipper voice. Then balances the trays on her palms again and steps off. I glare brutally after her. As time passes into the evening, when only wine is served, I keep my eyes on the French doors as I hand out the red drinks. 
 He doesn't come on  Mondays, only Sundays. I'm sure Jace is too busy stopping world hunger and adding notches to his belt. The guy won't come in today. I'm sure. If he does, I'll give as little communication as possible...same as he's done with me. It'll be nice to return the favor of being uninterested.  When all of the guests are seated for good, I have nothing to do. After wiping the counters, I stand there twiddling my thumbs and scratching my head. My eyes dart to the drawer.  Hmm...I could take a peek inside. I wonder how a billionaire's wallet looks.  I check if the coast is clear by glancing ahead and then to the side.  No one is around.  I roll out the drawer and unlatch a button on the side of the leather wallet. I unfold it, keeping it in the drawer. 
 The ID photo is the first thing I see. It's by itself on a jumbo picture slot.  Lily wasn't lying. His state ID picture stirs up jealousy. There's no embarrassing blinking, no off guard reaction, not a single hair out of place. The lighting is even different. It's not ultra-bright and unappealing.  On the other side, there is a row of ten cards. White, silver, and gold cards. I can tell that each has weight by their widths. I stare down in amazement.  Wow...I'm scared  of having three credit cards, and he has ten??? It must be nice to not feel the risk of getting rejected.   Like a hypnotized peasant, my eyes fill with envy. My fingers reach toward the cards and slide down the occupied slots.  These aren't made of plastic...maybe steel , if anything. Unbelievable!  I pull my hand back and clamp the wallet shut, then push the drawer closed.  
 That's enough spying. My curiosity has been squashed . Jace is a spoiled man, just like the others here. That's all.  The evening comes faster than any Monday I've ever worked.  It's annoying how time speeds up when something unwanted is coming. Even my break feels shorter.  I smell the veggie soup before the servers exit the kitchen with the meal. It's spicy and robust. I chop up ice to a slushy consistency and mix margaritas and daiquiris in wide rimmed glasses and insert limes. Every now and then, I peep at the drawer.  If he's super wealthy and gives out billions a year, how much money is on those cards combined ? I'm pretty sure it's more than a few million. The thickness of the cards proves that each is loaded. If I was a thief or greedy enough, I would take it home and skip town.    
 But I can't do that...I'm too moral...too righteous. Also , too smart, cards can be tracked now and deactivated right from an app. I wouldn't get far with how fast suspicious activity is reported.  From my peripheral vision, I spot Lily waving her hands my way. When I turn to her, she points at the French doors. There, in an all white suit, is Jace Harrison. When he opens the door, my body stiffens, and my gut flips. His green eyes jump around the floor eagerly, then to an employee close by. He exchanges words with the worker; his lips move in a sleek fashion with each word he speaks. Lil’s sight stays glued to him while she collects empty plates from tables. 
 My co-worker points the rich man in my direction. I rip my eyes away just as Jace follows the point. I look down at my workstation.  He's coming over !!  I spot him walking my way in a flawless glide. The fabric of his pants bunch at his crotch and thighs, and his belt cuts across his hefty hips. My face goes scarlet.  No, stop !. Why is that happening???  My throat tenses, my mouth moistens, and my skin grows goosebumps. The billionaire reaches the counter and rests his huge, veiny hand on the counter.  
 
 
 
 Chapter 5: Close Contact 
  "Excuse me, miss." My sight trail from his hand to his face. "I was told my wallet is with you." Jace's voice is as smooth as butter and deep. His eyes are so delicate and precise. The setting sun radiating behind him illuminates the shape of his machine of a body. "Thank you for holding it for me." 
 Okay, get a grip and speak before he assumes I'm a mute!  "You're welcome," I reply in an almost whisper. My lung power appears to be weak; I swallow to try and dry my wet mouth. His probing gaze falls onto my throat as I gulp. "It...fell under the table." I drop my eyes. 
 "Did it? I thought I lost it on the golf grounds and that a guest pocketed it. That's a relief." 
 I give a short laugh and gaze back up at him. Jace's eyes hold a twinkle now that has nothing to do with the dim lighting. "Yeah, I bet you're glad there are still good people in the world." I pull out the drawer and pluck the wallet from it. 
 "Is there?" 
 "Yes." 
 "So you're telling me everything is how I left it?" 
 "That's exactly what I'm saying." I pass it to him. "You can check if you like." 
 Jace's suit jacket slides back; the cuffs of his dress shirt reveal that his arms are just as veiny as his hand. He unfolds his wallet and examines it. I watch his lush lips part and his adam's apple stretch when he speaks. "Interesting..." Our eyes collide. "Why didn't you steal it? I would have." 
 "Maybe because I'm not that desperate...or that dumb." I retort. 
 He smiles at my earnestness. "I'm surprised to meet a smart blonde." He remarks humorously. 
 "We come in different varieties." I play along. "I don't associate myself with the lesser half." 
 Jace chuckles. "I see why you work here; you have a good sense of humor." 
 "And fast hands." I boast. 
 "How fast?" 
 "What's your drink?" 
 "Commonwealth." He says in a dare. 
 "Which style?" 
 "European." He watches my hands collect liquids. Basil, red apple, maquie berry, blueberries, potato, lavender, star anise, rosemary, wild strawberry, and cotoneaster. Each bottle has a nozzle on the end. 
 "Coming up." I pour the liquids over ice and measure one and a half inch without difficulty. Like a chemist, my hands handle the bottles in a flawless motion. I know I'll surprise him with my blazing speed. I practically juggle the bottles two at a time. I stir with a red straw to churn the flavors around before handing it over. 
 He takes a sip, swashing the liquid around his mouth before swallowing. "Hmm..." 
 "I don't speak that language. I need an English translation for feedback." I poke. 
 Jace titters amusingly. "That's impressive...not too overbearing or underwhelming." 
 "Perfectly balanced?" 
 "Maybe even beyond that." He sips more and exclaims a satisfying, "ahh." 
 "I told you I'm fast." I raise a brow. "I have a reputation here." 
 "I'm sure you do...you must be a heartbreaker." 
 "Only a little." I grin. 
 Jace stuffs his wallet into the front pocket of his trousers. "Or a lot. It's fun being in that club, right?" He downs the drink in one large gulp, then sits the glass on the counter. "Thank you again, darling…have a wonderful night." 
 "You too." 
 Jace nods me farewell and goes the way he came in. The way his ass muscles contort the fabric of his trousers is hypnotically sexy.  What just happened?? I said no communication! I was supposed to give back what I got in return for the past year . Instead, I gave. Stupid! I wasn't supposed to! Why did I flirt?? Why did I fail?!  Lily snaps her fingers in front of my face. "Hey, did you hear me?" 
 "Oh...what, what did you say?" 
 "How'd it go?" 
 I open my mouth, about to respond before I remember who's fault this was. "No, I'm not talking to you." 
 "Tell me." 
 "No." 
 "You should be thanking me!" She snaps. "Who gets a chance to chat with a billionaire??" 
 "I'm not thanking you." 
 "Oh, come on! You had to get his number, or he got yours?" 
 "I'm not interested, neither is he. That was just me, a bartender talking to a customer, nothing more." 
 "Oh, don't tell me you fumbled the bag...literally!" 
 My eyes shoot daggers at her. "There was nothing to fumble...he's a playboy. Quit trying to make him more than that!"   
 "Girl...I...you." She groans in frustration. "He sleeps around; that's a given for a guy until they find a woman who's suitable to marry. He's not going to put a ring on a hooker. That's a fact. You will blow his mind once he knows how suitable you are." 
 "Let's agree to disagree!" I growl. "I'm done talking to you." 
 Lily rolls her eyes. "So you're mad that I got a guy you've been ogling to finally notice you?" 
 "No, I'm mad that you didn't listen and respect that I didn't want anything to do with him! You ignored that and did it your way!" 
 "So I was selfish to get you two talking??" 
 "Yes!" 
 "Wow." Lil ridicules me. "Wow...I'm sorry you feel that way." 
 "I am too." 
 At home, I take a hot bath full of bubbles and sulk. I left work in a bad mood; I was grouchy, the same as Lil. We parted ways like two venomous snakes.  I'm the one who has the right to be angry, not her. Yes, Jace was beautiful and easy to talk to, that doesn't mean he's not a whore like all hot guys are. He admitted to being a heartbreaker and flirted with me as if he did it everyday. Which he most definitely does. He has done that a dozen times, maybe hundreds. I'd like to know if there's a body count for him online. 
 I scoop my phone off the flat ledge of the tub and type: 
 
 
 HOW MANY WOMEN HAS JACE HARRISON DATED? 
 
 
 A long google page shows. I click on the first article. There's a slideshow; the caption above it reads: 
 The 33 WOMEN SEEN IN INTIMATE LOCATIONS WITH J.H THROUGH THE LAST FOUR YEARS.  I swipe through the photos, finding that he dates all kinds of women. Hot foreigners, models, actresses, redheads, blondes, even blue and purple haired women. All of them have better shapes than me and are unbelievably hot.  I'm actually a downgrade...if he was interested. I don't have  big hips, a super tiny waist, a bubble ass, or a glamorous life. I'm just a bartender. I don't even consider it a career. It's a job. I'm nothing to brag about...the only upper hand I have on those dazzling women is that I'm a virgin. They'd probably laugh at that flex. For all I know, Jace will be a part of the laughter. 
 I set my phone back down and sputter my lips like a tiny engine.  Why am I even searching that? I must be bored. I need chocolate . Usually, I emotional eat. Since I'm on a diet, there are no sweets in my mini fridge. I could call for room service.  When I get out of the tub, I have a chocolate cake, vanilla ice cream, and extra fudge ordered and sent to my room. I turn on the tv and find something action packed to watch.  No way am I looking at a romance movie .  I don't want to be that pathetic.  Fast and Furious is my choice. I up the volume and check my Tinder.  Uh oh, I forgot about Brad. He probably unmatched with me.  To my surprise, I find his profile is still active in my collection. 
 
 
 BRAD: Did it? 
 
 
 
 
 My bad...unless you liked it :) 
 
 
 
 
 Did you enjoy the feel? 
 
 
 
 
 ME: Sorry, I meant to get back to you and, yes, to all three... 
 
 
 I add a scoop of ice cream over the cake and dowse it with fudge. When I put it into my mouth and taste the flavors, my tastebuds spark. I swear tiny bolts of lightning are attacking my jaws. "God, I missed this!" I exclaim and stuff my mouth. 
 
 
 BRAD: You gave me a boner 
 
 
 
 
 ME: What? 
 
 
 
 
 BRAD: My dick stood up 
 
 
 
 
 ME: I know what a boner is lol I said what because that never happened before 
 
 
 
 
 BRAD: Really?? 
 
 
 
 
 ME: No...like I said, I only sext. I've had guys say they jerked off and came, but one never said anything about a boner. 
 
 
 
 
 BRAD: Maybe because we met up...and because you told me one of my fantasies tbh 
 
 
 
 
 ME: A virgin is your fantasy? 
 
 
 
 
 BRAD: Yeah...that's just about every guy's fantasy 
 
 
 
 
 ME: Hmmm...I never knew that. 
 
 
 
 
 BRAD: Yeah, we like ownership more than women know...an unpopped cherry is the ultimate power move.  
 
 
 
 
 ME: So...I turn you on more than an experienced girl? 
 
 
 
 
 BRAD: Oh yeah...I expect them to know what to do, but with you, it's a mystery. The naughty virgin is my go to on pornhub  
 
 
 
 
 
 Chapter 6: Hope & Fear 
  I wake to the sound of snoring. My phone is against my chest now and is still on a call. The time reads 6 hours when I hold it up. I snicker at Brad as he snores a deep throaty sound. I hang up and roll out of bed. I pull off my bottoms and my cum-crusted underwear and go to the tub to run a bath.  That was fun...I usually don't get off like that over text. That was my first audible jerk off. I think I'm spoiled now...especially by the noise of flapping skin.  I add my lavender body wash into the tub and lather it into the water for bubbles. I step into lukewarm water, once it's high enough, and unhook a sponge from the wall.  What happened to me hitting the reset button?? I want to go slow, but my sex drive shouts go. Why?  I scrub my chest, neck, underarms, then go down to my stomach. 
 I sink my upper half lower into the water and move the sponge down. I close my eyes when the rough texture scrapes my lips down there.  Where is this sudden burst of naughtiness coming from? I never masturbate this much. I'm a horn ball now...and it's my doing. I started this filthy fest. I will have to pump the breaks and date. I can't be this racy if I want marriage. I feel like Brad is safe to start dating. He's nice enough to consider...also he's reasonable. I can picture us settling down in a few years so easily. I wonder what Lil will think of this. Speaking of her, I need to makeup with my bestie. I might have been too mean. I was slobbering over the guy nonstop. She didn't have to steal his shit, though. That can still cost her getting fired. She risked losing her job for me. I can't deny that. 
 At the lockers, I find Lily typing on her phone. She doesn't even glance up at me, although she knows it's me coming her way. No one else uses the lockers but us. The other workers have their phones clipped on their pants and hang their bags on a rack. Lily slings her crossbody bag inside. I unlock my locker and put away my phone.  I'd get distracted if it was on me while I was working . "Can we talk?" I gaze over at her. Lily says nothing. "Look, I didn't mean it...you're not selfish. A basket case, yeah, but not selfish." She sends a message, powers off her phone, and tosses it into her bag. I deliberately close my locker at the same time she closes hers. "See, we're so in sync." Lil hides a laugh; her tugging mouth gives that away. "Twin powers." I do the raise the roof dance. Lil looks to the ceiling and inverts her lips to fight off the urge to laugh. "Sex twins." She hackles like a hyena. 
 "Got you!" 
 "Shut up!” 
 "No...I win. Now you have to talk to me." 
 My friend faces me. "Fine, what is it?" 
 "I'm thinking about dating Brad." 
 Her eyes enlarge. "What?!" 
 "Yeah, I like him." 
 "No, you like how he feels; there's a difference." 
 "No, I actually like him. Yeah, we started out too lustful, but I think that's a perk. Right?" 
 "I mean...you won't be able to date normally. Sex will definitely come before marriage. Have you even told him about your condition??" 
 "No." 
 "How about talk more out with him, then see if he's into waiting." 
 "Okay." 
 "No more clubs." Lil takes me by the arm and walks me ahead. "Go out to cafes and see movies, go bowling. You know, all the standard crap." 
 "Way ahead of you. I want a picnic in the park, ice cream moments walks while holding hands, long drives." I cheese. "Watching the sunset." 
 "Aww." She pinches my cheek. "Look at my baby dating for the first time. I'm a proud mama." Lil puts on an apologetic face. "I'm sorry about Jace. I won't bring him up again." 
 "Thanks." 
 On my lunch break, I text Brad about having coffee in the morning. He hearts the request.  Now I just have to get the day off.  I go to Mr. Thompson's office and knock twice. My boss looks up from his desk, then waves me inside. "Hello Madison, how can I help you?" He peers at me over an opened binder. 
 "I was hoping I could request tomorrow off?" 
 He mumbles. "But you're full time, double shift; that was our agreement." 
 "I still am. Just give me this one day. Come on." I put on a pout. "This will be my first missed day out of how many?" 
 My boss grumbles again. "That's true...not even a sick day." 
 "I keep up my vitamin c." 
 "I suppose I can allow it; just don't miss the 4th." 
 "I won't, thank you." 
 Lily spends a night with me to be my helper.  She's more advanced with dating. I'm not. I have no clue what to wear. I'd probably pick out something that's too revealing.  She drops her duffle bag to the floor and closes the door. I forgot to clean up the bad food I had last night. I cringe when her eyes discover it and close my neck up like a turtle when she turns on me. "We agreed!" 
 "I know...I know! I needed emo food after we fought." 
 "I'll give that a pass...but no more. I've been faithful to the diet." 
 "I'm resetting today. I'll have some detox tea." 
 "Good." Lil goes to a wall closet and pulls apart its doors. "Now...you have to wear something light and pure." She swipes hangers to the side and studies my dresses. Two are chosen, a pale blue sundress and a bright yellow dress with lacy bows at the shoulders. "It's between these two." 
 "Yellow..." 
 "You read my mind. It'll go great with your hair and eyes. A nude pink is a must for your makeup." My phone rings from my back pocket. Lil whistles a catcall. "Your lover boy?" 
 I blush before answering. "Hi." 
 "Hi, there, pretty. I missed your voice." 
 "Did you?" I whirl my waist around. 
 "I did...so much that I listened to you sleep." 
 "Aww...I missed yours too. I heard you snoring this morning." 
 "Uh oh...I ruined the moment." He sniggers. 
 "No, it was cute." 
 "Can we do it again tonight?" 
 "Umm...no. We have some things we need to talk about." 
 "Like what?" 
 "I'll tell you when we meet up, okay. Bye bye." I terminate the call. 
 "Was I right?" Lil watches me as if she is all knowing. 
 "Maybe." 
 "He brought it up, didn't he?" 
 "White shoes should I wear?" 
 "White sandals...now answer me." 
 "Only because we...both came together last night...over the phone." I twiddle my thumbs. 
 "OMG! Maddy! Delete Tinder; it's ruining you. Clean your mind. Damn, you nasty virgin." 
 "Okay, okay, I'll do that." After tackling our face routine, brushing our teeth, and changing into PJs, Lil and I get into bed.  This   reminds me of our high school days. We stayed in the same bed more than our own. We were inseparable, we still are. That's why we work the same job and live in the same city. Although sometimes I wish I had Lily’s bravery, she's been with more people than me and bounces back after breakups. I'm scared about the morning, and I don't know why.  When the light turns off, I move to my side to look into her eyes with a fearful expression. "What if he doesn't want marriage?" 
 "Then kick him to the curb and try another." She responds nonchalantly. 
 "But I like him." 
 "He's not the only guy you're going to like, Maddy. He was just your first. They'll be more, don't worry." 
 "Okay....but what if I get burned?" 
 "Heartache is growth...yeah, it hurts. That pain is needed to toughen you up for the real world. Also, if he rejects you, he'd have to deal with these hands." She whips her hands around in a ninja motion. "I got you." 
 I snort and snuggle into my pillow. "Okay." 
 The cafe I choose is a side shop looking onto the busy streets of Cali. The place is full, which convinces me that the coffee must be good. The music is classy jazz. It reminds me of the 1950s. In my phone's camera, I check my face. Again, I have light makeup and slightly rosy cheeks. My eyeshadow is very delicate and glittery, and my lipstick isn't too thick and gives a natural pop of pink. My hair is bone straight and touches my back.  I look okay. Well, not really. Bumps are forming on my forehead again!  I zoom in on the area on my camera and frown. "Why the long face?" Brad, who I didn't even hear come in, queries as he sits. He has on a nice plaid shirt and blue jeans. His dirty blonde hair is behind his ears again. 
 "I'm breaking out," I whine. 
 "You look amazing." He delivers the words with undeniable affection. 
 My cheeks flush as I turn my phone down against the table. "Thank you." His chocolate eyes mesmerize me. 
 A waiter approaches our table. "What can I get you two?" 
 "Two coffees," I answer. 
 "Anything else?" 
 I look to Brad. "Maybe bagels?" 
 "Yeah, we can do that." 
 "Alright, that'll be about ten minutes." The waiter jots our order down and then goes to the table next to ours. 
 "So, what do you want to talk about?" His low voice sounds lovely in this setting; it matches the saxophone in the music. 
 "Let's get to know each other better." 
 "Alright. Do you want me to start?” 
 "Sure." 
 "Umm...I have three sisters. I'm the youngest. I love dogs; walking them is the best job I've ever had. I'm into gaming, mostly Lord Of The Rings, Mortal Combat, GTA, and Call Of Duty. I've been playing hockey since the 5th grade and won some trophies. Um...that's all I can think up." 
 "Guess it's my turn now. I'm an only child. Lily is my sister from another mother. I love dogs, so that's something we have in common. The only games I play are Sims and the PS2 Bratz game." 
 "Hey, the Bratz game is legend." 
 "Sounds like you played it before." I squint at him. 
 "No comment." He looks out of the window beside us. 
 "You have! Who's your favorite? Mines Cloe." 
 "Oh, that's freaky!" His mouth shapes into an O. "She was the hottest one; it's freaky because you look just like her." 
 "So you did play?" I beam at him. 
 "No comment." He repeats. 
 "You're already busted. And yeah, that's my game twin. I dressed up like her every Halloween." 
 "I was Gandalf so many times." 
 "The sexiest Gandalf, I bet." I flirt. "Are you single?" 
 "Yes." 
 "How come?" 
 "Well...my last girlfriend cheated on me, so I took a break." 
 "Oh....sorry," I grit my teeth apologetically. 
 "That's okay. I'm over her. She was pretty toxic, my sisters warned me. I didn't listen. So now I have them evaluate who I match with since they have superpowers." 
 "So, you showed my profile to them?" 
 "Maybe..." He smirks, and so do his dimples. 
 I grin. "Do you like to drink?" 
 "I love red wine; I have it once a week." 
 "You're just into that drink?" 
 "I tried others.  I haven't found the right style of alcohol." 
 "I can help you with that; I'm a bartender." 
 "Really?" 
 "Yeah, at San Jose. I'm pretty good at mixing." 
 "How is it you keep surprising me??" Brad's brown eyes latch onto mine with complete bewilderment. 
 "Oh...there's more." 
 "I'm all ears." 
 "I have to ask you something. Umm...like I said, I'm a virgin, and that comes with a certain mindset.” 
 “Alright, what does that mean?’ 
 “It means I want to hold off on sex." 
 "For how long?" 
 "Until after marriage...I'd like to go about things in the traditional way. 
 "Oh." He sounds disappointed, his forehead crease as he computes what I’ve just told him. "Wow, umm...I don't know if I can do that." 
 I look down at my hands and feel my eyes begin to sting.  Oh no....it's happening! What I feared is happening!  I blink away tears before they can fall.  This was dumb of me. Why didn’t I just call to save myself this embarrassment? Now I feel truly feel like a virgin. Being turned down by a guy due to denying sex.  " Oh, okay...I...I guess it was nice talking." I say bleakly. 
 He places his hand on mine and leans forward. "I still want to know you." 
 "You do??" I ask, dumbfounded. 
 "Yes.  I like you...it's just the sex part. You kind of got me looking forward to it a lot sooner." 
 "I made a mistake doing that." 
 "A wonderful mistake." 
 I peer up at him and am met with drowsy eyelids. A look I've only seen on love stricken men in romance movies. I freeze in place and stop breathing. All of a sudden, the table between us has too much space. My mind tries to influence me to close the distance and make out with him. I look back down at my hands to counteract this. "It can't be like that again. I called this meeting because I thought we could date. But, we can just talk since you're not into my thing.” 
 Brad's hand caress mine now. "So you want to date?" 
 " I know this is all backward, but I like you. So yeah…” I shyly rub the back of my neck.   “We can't get physical like we did before." 
 "Say if we date…will making out be allowed?" 
 I nod. "Yeah...but later on, maybe in a few weeks." 
 He closes the distance between us. "How about just one kiss?" 
 I laugh and swoop my hair behind my ears. I'm sure I just took his breath away by the way he inhales. "Not yet," I reply, then observe his full lips. 
 "You say that…then you look at my lips. I'm getting mixed signals."He flirts. 
 "I'm a tease, remember. I can't help it." Our coffee is steaming when it hits the table. I blow across the top of my cup so that the steam goes in his direction. I give a crooked smile when picking up a bagel with both of my hands and push my digits deep into the bread. I open my mouth to bite and chew to one side. 
 Brad watches my protruding jaw and parts his lips. "You're so sexy." 
 "I wasn't always this way. Tinder ruined me." 
 "I'm pretty sure guys were thinking that about you before Tinder." 
 "I don't know." I gush. "In high school, guys treated all the girls the same. They weren't thinking, "she's sexy," they were thinking, "I want sex." I explain irritatingly. 
 "Man, I hated those dudes." 
 "You weren't one?" 
 "Hell no." He titters. "No way was I going to treat girls like that. My sisters groomed me to be a gentlemen." 
 "Okay...who's sexy now." I bat my eyes. 
 "Let me guess...oh, it's still you." He jabs. I blush again. "I love how easy you blush." He dotes on me. 
 "And…I love your dimples." I bit my lip. 
 He moves his fingers through the hair around my ear and then scrolls down my cheek. The touch of his skin on mine is so cozy and gentle. "Is this okay?" He whispers. 
 "Hmm, mmm," I mumble. 
 Brad repeats the same motion, fingers through my hair, then cheek, back and forth until my skin tingles. "I think this will work out..." 
 "I do too," I mutter eagerly. 
 "I mean, it is new." His fingers trail to my chin now and curve across it. "But new is good. I wouldn't mind something serious for once." 
 “That's all I want...I don't want to waste my virginity unless it means something." 
 "You're a mother's dream, you know that?" 
 I scoff. "Yep, a good girl, suitable enough for their boy. I'm like bible sent or something." 
 "With a few modern modifications." I giggle as his hand goes underneath my chin and stops at my collarbone. My eyes close, and my heart picks up. His full palm cups the side of my face in a blanket of warmth. "This will work out," Brad reassures in an absolute tone. 
 
 
 
 Chapter 7: Harmony 
  Brad and I end up spending the rest of the week going out to dinner and seeing movies, romantic ones, of course. We hold hands a lot too, and I allow him to kiss my forehead and cheek. Although he prefers smooching my hand like a period drama suitor. I find out just how geeky he is. Brad has a Samurai sword and collectible action figures. This is discovered through FaceTime, I would like to visit his place, but my gutter mind can't be trusted. Somehow, we would be on the bed, and I'd take advantage of him. The closest we get to sharing a bed is falling to sleep over the phone. It takes a lot of my willpower to not repeat the hot session we had the first time. It's strictly talking until we nod off. The mornings are so cutesy. Brad sends me messages like: 
 Good morning gorgeous goddess <3 <3  ️ 
 
 
 How'd you sleep, sweety? 
 
 
 Rise and shine hot stuff :) ️ 
 
 
 I hope your day is as fine as you are! 
 
 
 I chuckle and wrinkle my nose every time I read his texts. The most profound butterflies I ever had, seize my stomach every time I think about him...and see him. Brad drives me to work a few times just to have more time with me. I feel he doesn't like that I work 12 hours. It is a lot of strain on the relationship. We only have a few hours alone, then I have to get to bed.  My workdays start at 8am and end at 7pm, meaning I have to  be sleep at least by 11pm. Today, we listen to catchy tunes on his radio and eat ice cream. The sun is red hot and melts the cream down the sides of the cones. So I lick and suck on mine as fast as possible.  No one wants a soggy ice cream . I can tell that Brad is turned on by my mouth actions, his jaw flexes, and his chest heaves every time my lips make wet noses. I swear it wasn't done intentionally.   
 At a red light, he scoops a glob of cream and dabs it right on my nose. "Nooo!" I chortle. "Why did you do that?" 
 "You know why." His toffee eyes fall on my lips. I lick my tongue around them in a circle. Brad swings over to kiss the ice cream on my nose. He's hesitant to do the same to my mouth. His lips hover over the arch of mine. A horn blares behind us. The light is green now. Brad smooches my nose one last time and returns to driving the car. When his Nissan rolls up to the giant gates of the country club, I remove my seatbelt, get out, then walk to his window to peck at his nose. "See you later." 
 "Bye, sweety." 
 The gates open after I type in a code. There's a long walkway leading to the front doors. I don't mind walking it. I like getting a tour of the lands...while burning some calories. The super green, manicured grounds are always a blessing to witness. It's the closest I'm ever going to get to a vacation spot, so I savor the nature, the trees, and the landscaped golf courses. As soon as I step into the grand lobby, Lily is there waiting for the new scoop on my boo. "You guys kiss yet?" 
 "No." 
 "Why not?" 
 "The time hasn't come."  
 "Umm...it's been almost a week." 
 "I'm thinking the 9th or 10th date would be the right time." 
 "Wow, he's suffering. I feel bad for him having to wait that long." 
 "No, he's not. We're having fun without actually kissing. We give smooches." 
 "Where?"  
 "Nose and foreheads, cheeks." 
 "Butt cheeks?" Lily sticks out her tongue. 
 "Staaap..." I snort. 
 Lily guides me towards the employee's hallway. "Do something exciting, geez, it's your first boyfriend. You're supposed to rush." 
 "What we're doing is exciting, though. I'm okay with the pace of things. It's such an adorable phase, just like from all the romance movies." 
 "Which is ironically called the honeymoon phase."  
 "Hmm...interesting." I chug my phone into a locker and close it. "I hope we stay in it for at least....a few more months. I love it." My voice goes wistful. 
 "Oh, it will last long...until you two get tired of each other." 
 "I don't see that happening," I say in a singsong tone. 
 "If you're this high, I can't imagine Brad." 
 "He's way above me. You wouldn't believe it. I always thought I would be the lovey dovey, clingy one, but it's him. It's so romantic." 
 "Okay...I don't believe you. I need proof that Brad is out stepping you." 
 "Let's do a dinner night, then you can see for yourself."  
 "That'll be fun. It's a double date then." 
 I spin around with her like a little kid. "Yay, I can't wait!" I sing,  
 "Oh yeah....you're head over heels." Lil cracks. 
 I update Brad about the dinner tonight and convince Lily to order out for dinner because I'm not feeling healthy food. Surprisingly, she doesn't argue. We end up getting nachos and pizza. Jessica adds candles and flowers to the table to set a romantic mood. She also sprays scented oils around her modern house. When the doorbell rings, I skip to the door. When I open it, Brad has a hand behind his back. I tiptoe to see what he's holding. "What's behind your back?" 
 "Guess." 
 "Hmm...." I tighten my lips. "Candy?" 
 "No." 
 "A present?" 
 "Sort of." He grins.  
 "A flower?" Brad pulls his hand to show me a single yellow rose. "Aww! A yellow one, why?"  
 "Because you look beautiful in yellow."  
 I take him by the hands, smooch his cheek then take the flower to sniff it. "Come in." I guide him inside and close the door. "You remember..." 
 "Lily and Jessica, right?" 
 My bestie nods. "I'm shocked you remembered." 
 "I have a good memory." 
 "Oh, that's a good quality." Lil compliments. "I hope you're attentive. I know I suck at it. It's not on purpose. I just have a short memory sometimes." 
 "She forgot our six month anniversary," Jessica states significantly.  
 "I did, but I fixed it, didn't I?"  
 "You did." Jessica shrugs. "But still, it happened. Brad, my advice is to set reminders to avoid doing that." 
 "Good advice." 
 We head to the table, where glass containers hold the food at a hot temperature. Brad moves my chair out for me before he sits. Lily gives an impressed reaction to this. "So, Brad, what are your future goals?" 
 "I plan on owning a pet shelter. I know that might sound odd." 
 "No, that's a good goal. Finding new homes for little furballs is the best thing ever." 
 "It is...some people think it's a weird goal, though." 
 "Oh, like who?" Lily uncovers the steamy food. 
 Brad slightly tenses his back. "My parents."  
 My attention goes from the food to Brad in total disbelief. His parents don't support his passion?? "I didn't know this." 
 "I know, sorry. I didn't want to bring it up before; it would have ruined the mood." 
 "We don't want that," Jessica says abruptly. "Let's change the subject. What's your favorite movie?" 
 "Jurassic Park." 
 "You're a Dino guy, interesting."  
 "Yeah." 
 "He has all of the breeds in his trophy room of action figures." I poke and slop nachos onto my plate. "He's a big nerd." 
 "I prefer fanboy or collector." 
 "Do you stream?" Lil asks, taking two slices of pepperoni pizza from a platter.  
 "I do."  
 "Any revenue there?" 
 "I get a decent amount a month." He grabs two slices of pizza and some fries from a bowl.  
 "That's cool. At least you're getting something for your hobby. Most people get nada." 
 "True...I wish I knew Maddy's hobby." 
 "She didn't tell you about cheerleading?"  
 "No." 
 I chew and hold my hand up. "He means a current hobby. I don't cheer anymore." 
 "But being a mixologist is a hobby." 
 "Ehhh..." I grumble. "Not really. I don't do it unless I'm at work. There's nothing fun I do when I get home." 
 "That's because by the time we're off work, we're dog tired."  
 I ponder Lil's explanation. "True....still, I don't have a hobby." 
 "I can help you find one." Brad flashes his teeth.  
 Jessica stares between us in a mischievous way. "It involves laying down, doesn't it? Kink can be your hobby." 
 I burst into laughter and squeeze my eyes shut. "Stop it!" 
 "I wouldn't mind if that.” Brad chuckles. 
 I gasp and spank his shoulder. "Don't, hush." I giggle. "Let's change the topic." I fill my glass with wine. "Let's play a game." 
 "Truth or dare." Lil raises her brows wickedly.  
 "No...I know where that is going to go?"  
 "Charades?" 
 I judge this and analyze my bestie. "I don't know; you're going to turn it into something." 
 "I won't." She side eyes her girlfriend.  
 "See...what's that look?!" I criticize. "Let's scratch the game and just talk." 
 "I'm curious." Brad laughs. "What is she going to say?" 
 "How about spin the bottle?" I shush her. "Seven minutes in heaven"  
 "I'm down." 
 "Brad, don't encourage her." I shake my head.  
 He laughs with his chest. "I think we should hear Lily out." 
 I cover his mouth with my hand. "No." I feel his full lips kiss my palm. "Really?" I snort. "Are you serious?" 
 "Here we go, we got some action." Jessica hackles. 
 On Saturday night, the dining room at the country club is rented out by a wedding party. Since teens and little kids outnumber the adults, I barely mix any beverages other than fruit punch and lemonade. I scan the main table where punch bowls are half empty and decide to ready two new ones. As I use a hose attached to a barrel to fill up the new bowls, I find my sight on the bride and groom at the main table.  The bride is glowing...and is so enthusiastically pleased. This night is the highlight of her life...it's her dream. Her fairytale. I bet she counted down the days to be spiritually bonded with her lover . The two newly weds kiss passionately and stare deeply into each other's eyes.  It's as if the room doesn't exist to them. It's as if the only thing that does is each other.  
 Eternal desire is the phrase I use to describe this moment that every bride and groom shares.  I've seen over a hundred ceremonies hosted here, and every time, there's this unbreakable gaze. This bubble of bliss around the lovers. And every time I grow restless and hopeless that I'll never have this magical experience.  I glance away woefully and hoist a bowl of lemonade up to the counter, then start another for the fruit punch. Lily snatches up the bowl and goes to swap it out with the empty one. When she comes back, she sets it down and surveys me. My face is long with sorrow, and my eyes are glossy. Lily steers around the bar and hugs me from behind. "It'll be over in 30 minutes; hang in there." My lip quivers as I fill the next bowl. Lily rubs my shoulders before letting go. "It's okay." She takes the bowl from me and caresses my chin.  
 I give a half smile, that doesn't reach my eyes. "I know," I murmur forlornly.  
 "Aww." Lil pouts. "I can sneak in your phone, so Brad can cheer you up. How about that?" 
 "Okay." I sniff.  
 "I'll be back." Lily determinedly marches off to the punch tables, places the bowl down, then treks out of the double doors.  
 I blink hastily and wipe the sides of my eyes.  Talking to Brad will help...I just need to think about that, not the pit swelling in my gut.  I wipe off the counter and place the hoses atop the barrels and switch off the buttons on the sides.  I just need to keep my attention away from the main table. I don't feel like crying later tonight. I'd have to fix my emotions before I go home. This night will be gone soon. I just have to tough it out.   I organize the glass case behind the bar that’s scattered with wines, liquors, alcohol, and liquified substances. My hands begin to line them up in a neat row. The ceremony's pop music bumps the walls, and the celebrating drones on for what seems like forever. I count down the minutes left once I get to the middle of the glass case.  Great, 20 minutes to go. Ugh!  I go on organizing and endure the happiness within the room with an opposite demeanor.  Why am I fed up with the joy? Strange. I need to relax.  
 I hear knocking from the bar behind me, so I close the case and go to my post. When I see the person's face, I halt and am perplexed. Jace Harrison sits a glass of alcohol onto the bar and slides it towards me. "Taste this." He demands. 
 My eyes drop to the glass, then back to him. Jace has a gray suit on this time. I'm reminded of his Google pictures. He had a similar one on in the photos.  What is he doing here?  It's Saturday? And why is he giving me a drink?? " I think I'm supposed to serve you a drink...is your head alright?"  
 "It's fine; just taste it."  
 I study him closely before picking up the drink. "Okay...just so you know, there's an emergency button back here. Let me know if you feel faint." I add sarcastically. Jace jeers and watches me take a sip. The most overbearing flavors lather my throat. I scrunch my face and stare into the glass. "What is this?!" I almost choke.  
 "It was my favorite commonwealth...now it's not." He says disappointingly. "I think you ruined me. That tastes like shit."  
 "Oh no, that's a compliment. This is ridiculous!" I complain. He smirks, and his green eyes glimmer. "I'm going to put it where it belongs." I go to a trash can and drop the glass into it. Jace chuckles at my repelled expression. "You deserve one on the house for that crap. Did the bartender just slosh it together??" 
 "They had to. All I know is I won't be a customer there anymore." His deep, creamy voice and the watery movements of his mouth stun me for a few seconds. I begin creating his drink to stop my mind from being stupefied. "I never got your name." 
 "Do you ask for all your bartenders' names?" 
 "Not really. My usual bartender I knew for years. Since you're taking their place, it's good courtesy to know your name." 
 "I guess I can tell you, being a new customer and all. It's Madison. And yours?" I ask, knowing who he is already but choosing to be formal.  
 "Jace Harrison, you may have heard of me." 
 "I don't think I have." I act dumb. "Enlighten me." I hand him the drink and give him my undivided attention. 
 His plump lips press against the glass as he drinks. I can't help but stare at the pinkness of his lips. When he swallows, he does the same satisfactory "ahh." "You must don't keep up with technological advancements." 
 "Not, not my thing," I add truthfully. "But you have me interested." 
 "Good, I might change your mind." He sips the beverage. "Have you ever heard of Strygent Industries?" I shake my head, honestly oblivious of the name. "It’s mostly known for manufacturing the largest drones to transport food to feed billions." His cockiness shows now as well as his swagger. "They've been called the food shelters of the sea and hope vessels. And have cut starvation down by 23%." 
 "Impressive." I lean onto the counter. "I'm assuming you're the boss with how you’re gloating." 
 "CEO." He mimics me and leans forward too. The lack of space between us intensifies the mood. Jace notes my uncomfortable reaction. "Am I too close for comfort?" He asks properly yet doesn't back off.  
 "No," I say, not wanting to seem intimidated by him.  
 Jace comes closer. Now, our faces are just a foot away. The air between us thickens, and the blood in my cheeks boils. "How about now?" 
 "No," I answer too quickly.  
 His enchanting eyes jump across my face. "Your rosy skin says different." 
 "It doesn't," I state persistently. 
 He simpers, stands straight, and swipes the glass into his hand. "I'll keep my distance...for now. Tell me. Do you enjoy working here?" 
 "I mean, it's a job. I can't really say I do it for enjoyment." 
 "Why do something you don't enjoy?"  
 "To survive...you know that thing people lower than you have to do?" I answer harshly. 
 "I'm sure you could find one you love. What are your interests?" 
 I suck in a breath and glare at him. "If it was that easy, no one would be miserable." 
 "I like how snappy you are." 
 "Oh, you haven't seen the half of it." 
 "I bet. You must tell off men here all the time, huh?" 
 "Only when they're entitled pricks," I reply. 
 Jace doesn't take offense. Instead, he goes on as if I didn't just insult him. "And the ones who aren't entitled?" 
 "They receive the hospitality they deserve."  
 "I hope I'm not on your bad side." 
 "You're toeing the line."  
 "I apologize, Madison. I'll reframe from being a dick." 
 "I think you're incapable of that."  
 "Why?" He tilts his head sideways. 
 "Because you’re from a different world and can't relate to mine. You sit high on a pedestal while I'm on a stool." I can't help but find humor in my words. "No pun intended on where I work." 
 Jace grins and gives a short laugh. "I think we are relating here." 
 "No, we're conversing." The DJ of the party ends the music. I realize that the hall is emptying, and few guests remain. My co-workers clear the messy tables and sweep up food and cake from the floor. "And that's coming to an end." I pick up a towel. "The club is closing." 
 "Will you be on shift tomorrow?" 
 "That's none of your business." I fling the towel across my shoulder. 
 "So that's a yes, then?"  
 I disregard his question. "Feel free to carry your drink out with you, sir." 
 The billionaire downs his drink and reaches into his pocket. Jace lays a tip onto the counter. "Thank you again for the drink, Madison.” The fluid manner in which he says my name overwhelms me from being snarky. My voice disappears. “I'm looking forward to our next chat." Jace curves his lips as he walks away. I watch him exit the french doors, distracted by his slick walk and his other impeccable body feature. When he's out of sight, I count the bills he left, believing it to be only a few dollars. Instead, it's $500. My startled eyes barely blink as I recount it, not trusting my own mind. I look to the doors again, then back at the cash. From the corner of my eye, I see Lily at the main entrance. She has my phone at her side and is completely motionless, like a statue.  How long has she been there?  
 
 
 
 Chapter 8: Sensation 
  Lily’s eyes are outraged and baffled at the same time. Her feet step my way, and her gaze falls to the money. "Why did he give you money?" 
 "I don't know." 
 "Maddy, people just don't give out that much cash for nothing." 
 "I said, I don't know!" I blow up. 
 "You have to. What did you two talk about?" Her doubtful tone irritates me.  
 "We talked about his favorite drink." 
 "And?" 
 "His job, my job, it was just chitchat," I say dismissively. 
 "Maddy, that doesn't explain $500. There's more to it than that. Did he ask you for something?" 
 "Just my name." 
 "Anything else?" 
 I huff. "No, Lil." 
 "I'm just trying to make sense of this. Guys only pay girls for pleasure. Jace had to imply this." 
 "Wow, Lil...he didn't imply being a sugar daddy." 
 "Judging by that cash, he did." 
 "Look, just drop it. Let's close up. I'm tired; I just want the night over. Did you call Brad?" 
 Lily broods and ignores my question. "I thought you wanted nothing to do with Jace. Why did you talk to him?" I pace around the bar and begin closing the gate. I abruptly hold it still.  I forgot the cash.  I watch the five bills on the counter and contemplate if I should accept cash without knowing the reason behind it.  Did Jace dish it out to initiate me into a sugar baby contract? If so, he was so vague with it. Then again, I'm not in the position to pass up the money. Money I got without an effort. It's odd to earn it without working for i t. "Don't be dumb; take it." Lil waves her hand to it.  I scoop underneath the gate and snatch it, then I proceed to shut it. After cleaning house, Lily waits with me until my ride comes. I know she’s investigating what happened by how quiet she is. Her thoughtfulness is evident on her face; all's that missing is the pacing around bit. While she's too busy being Sherlock Holmes, I call Brad.  
 I feel bad...even though I did nothing wrong. I feel like I somehow cheated on him.  When he picks up, he says, "Hey, sweetheart," in a chipper tone.  
 "Hi, hon, I missed you." 
 "Not as much as I missed you." 
 "Oh really?" My Uber drives up to the curb. I turn to look at Lily, who is still analyzing. "It's nothing, Lily. See you tomorrow." I wave, then open the car door. 
 "What's nothing?" 
 "Umm...it's work related. How was your day?" I close the door and buckle up as the car steers into crammed traffic. 
 "I'm living the life; dog walking is the best job ever." 
 "Yeah, I know, you're racking up just by taking a stroll. I wish my job was like that." 
 "Nah, I think yours is better. You're surrounded by rich people who probably leave the biggest tips." 
 I dismiss how eerie the chat is and am superstitious about it.  Relax, Brad mentioning a tip right now is a coincidence.  "They rarely leave tips." 
 "Really?" 
 "Yep, I can literally count the times on one hand out of my three years here." 
 "That's crazy. I thought you'd be getting a few hundred here and there."  Weird, why did he say a few hundreds? Is he onto me??  I panic and hold my tongue. "I guess everyone is cheap." I release a  relieved breath when he says this. "Hey, I was thinking about us having a movie night at my place." 
 "Umm...bad idea." 
 "I won't try to kiss you again, I promise." 
 "Hmm...I'll consider it." 
 "Please say yes, we haven't cuddled at all. I'll be good." He pleads. 
 "I know you will...I'm saying that's a bad idea because I won't be." 
 "Hmm...tell your dirty thoughts." 
 "No, no, no, that'll lead to you know what." 
 "How about a hint?" 
 "Brad." I giggle.  
 "Maddy." He retorts. 
 I grin to the side. "Brad..." I whisper sensually. 
 "Maddy." He copies my tone. 
 My stomach flutters. "Brady." I use my tongue to pronounce it.  
 "Maddy." He does the same. I cheese and kiss the speaker on the phone. "Hmm..." He mumbles sultrily. "Just one hint, please?" 
 I’m physically immobilized by how his voice drags out the word, please. I closed my eyes and bite my nails. "Just one word," I give in to the weakness. "Mount."  
 Brad licks his lips. "Standing or laying." 
 "Can't say."  
 "I want you." 
 I blush. "How much?" 
 "I'd literally run to your place right now. That's how much." 
 "That bad, huh?" 
 "Yeah." He croaks. I sigh at the rawness of his response and gulp. "I want your lips on mine." 
 "That would be nice." 
 "Is that a yes?"  
 "It's a maybe." 
 "I'll beg." 
 "Give it your best." I trace my finger across my lower lip. Brad does give it his best throughout the whole ride. His long and throaty "pleases" make me clench my legs together and wiggle my bottom against the leather. My sighs are low enough for only him to hear, not the driver. When I get out and go into the hotel, I compromise. "We can cuddle at your place...on Wednesday."  
 "That's 4 days from now." He complains. 
 "I know." 
 "Why not tomorrow?" 
 "Because this tension has to be dragged out." I kiss the speaker again. "Nighty night." I hang up and get onto an elevator in the lobby. I'm on the 10th floor, meaning it's going to take a while. I pass the time by thinking back to the $500.  I wonder if Lil cracked this case yet. Jace didn't ask me for anything sexual. The conversation was simple, yeah, I got agitated, but it was a normal chat. I don't get the money part. As I said, I can use it. I'll put it into savings. I'd still like an answer, though.  For the next four days, I keep an eye out for Jace, but he never shows. I thought his schedule would be different now since I'm his new bartender, but it's not.  If I saw him Saturday and used to see him Sunday, that means Jace is busy on weekdays.  I join Twitter mostly because I am mind blown by Strygent Industries' accomplishments. I found out that there’s an EXPO for this week.  
 
 
 STRYGENT INDUSTRIES SHOWCASES NEW LIFE RAFT DRONE FOR INDIVIDUALS STRANDED AT SEA. 
 
 
 An Expo is going on all week. I click on the article and am brought to a 4K image of Jace Harrison on a high-tech stage full of shiny machinery. The arena he stands in front of is sold out. Not one seat is vacant. I stroll to read the new developments.  
 
 
 WATER DROPPER, A GUMDROP STYLED DRONE THAT DELIVERS WATER TO THE LESS PRIVILEGED. 
 
 
 
 
 IRECTA, THE CONTACT LENS TV/THEATER SCREEN FOR EPILEPSY/SEIZURE VICTIMS. 
 
 
 
 
 XMARZ, THE HIGHLY TRAINED CPR MICRO BEAD 
 
 
 The time next to each broadcast is 6pm-9pm.  Not that I want to go, I wouldn't be able to anyway. I must applaud the CEO. I can tell much passion and concern has gone into his inventions.  On Tuesday night, I inform Lily of my plan with Brad. I wanted the choice to simmer in my mind until I decided it was a good move.  I mean, we are dating. He's been patient, and I love it when he begs. I'll definitely love his moans. I just know he's the type of guy that's vocal during kissing. The tension is fine as wine too. I haven't been communicating with him. I've learned from Tinder that preventing interaction until the opportune time is key to getting a guy to explode. I think I want to get handsy, just a little bit. Just to makeup for not seeing his facial reaction in the club.  
 "Finally!" Lil celebrates. "Have some fun; remind Brad that sex can't occur." 
 "I'll remind him." I talk towards my phone, which is on the ledge of the tub I soak in.  
 "You probably made him mad." 
 "Frustration gets the juices flowing." 
 "Oh, you bad girl!" 
 "That's nothing new." I raise my chin matter of factly.  
 "What are you going to wear?" 
 "Something hot but preppy. He loves the half good half bad thing." 
 "The pink plaid dress with the slit and a white undershirt," Lil instructs like a fashion designer. 
 "That's perfect!" 
 "Where your low converses...and a high ponytail." 
 "See...this is why I love you." 
 "You need to praise the ground I walk on." She says in an uppity, British voice. "You're gonna be hot, hot, hot." Lil goes on with the British impersonation and over pronounces the T's in each of the "hots.” 
 "You're right, me lady." I join her impersonation. "It shall be raunchy-as hell."  
 "Oh, I did some digging into if Jace is a sugar daddy." 
 "I don't want to know." 
 "You sure?" 
 "Yeah, forget about him. I'm all about my boo." 
 "The boo thang that’s trying to swang your body on his couch."  
 "He said just cuddling." 
 "Maddy...he's going to try something. Only thing is he's a gentleman; he'll stop if you say so." 
 "If I say so." I wiggle my brows. 
 "Don't push him, now. If it goes too far, guys get emotional and go into a shell. Play it safe." 
 "Brad won't do that; he's super tolerant." 
 "Heed my advice just in case." 
 "Okay." 
 On the special night, after work, I apply light makeup on my own this time. I have faith in myself to add foundation, just not for applying eyeshadow and additional layers. I look in the bathroom mirror at myself. I’m a sexy version of the girl from the Clueless movie. I book an Uber. I didn't want to bother Brad with downtown traffic. The ride wounds up at a huge townhouse complex in a pleasant suburb. It's all brick, light brick, and has two garages for each unit and two levels. I thank the driver and tip $20 as I leave the vehicle.  I'm acting like a big baller now that I have extra cash. I never used to tip that much beforehand.  I check our texts to verify Brad's unit number. 24.  Great, the Uber dropped me off on the complete opposite side.  I hike around the building I'm at and to one that's behind it. I fix my ponytail and tug my dress down, so my tiny boobs are more visible.  
 I knock twice, wait, then do it again when I don't hear any movement. An outside light pops on, and the door unlocks. I flash my teeth when the door opens, expecting a happy boyfriend. Instead, Brad is upset.  Huh? What? Why?  His furious face transforms him into a completely different guy. The puppy dog, hyper guy isn't present anymore. 
 "Brady, what's wrong?" 
 "Now, you want to talk to me." He answers bitterly. 
 "Huh? What do you mean?" 
 "You know what I mean! You stopped talking to me for 4 days! Now you show up like you didn't." 
 "I told you why!" 
 "No, you didn't. You didn't tell me you'd be MIA for 4 days!" 
 "Yeah, I did. I implied that a longer wait would spice things up." 
 Brad breathes out like a bull. "That was not implied; you said goodnight and hung up, which I didn't like. Then you ignored my calls. What's going on?" 
 "Nothing! I just thought you knew what I meant." 
 "Well, you didn't explain it to me. I'm not a mind reader; you have to tell me what you're thinking." 
 "Sorry," I mutter. 
 "Sorry doesn't cut it. You can't drop me like that; it isn't nice. It's wrong." 
 "I'm sorry, I won't do it again," I say innocently. "I just wanted tonight to be desirable." 
 Brad relaxes and slows his breathing. "It would have been without all of the dramatics." 
 "So...I messed up the night?" I somberly look at the ground. "I was only trying to make it perfect." 
 My boyfriend steps outside the door and holds my chin to lift it up. "You don't have to try to make things perfect. Things already are." He speaks softly. "All you have to do is show up, that's all. You didn't mess up the night. I'm just pissed about losing time with you. That wasn't fun...I thought you broke up with me." 
 "Why would you think that??" I lay my hand on his cheek. 
 "That's just how it felt. Don't do that again." 
 “Okay…" I whisper. 
 Brad coffee colored eyes tear into mine with unfiltered affection. "You're driving me crazy." 
 . "I didn't mean to." I mope. 
 He wraps his hands around my waist and draws me closer. "Well, you are." 
 "I won't be bad again." I move my fingers towards his temple and rake my fingers through his hair. Brad closes his eyes and rests his nose on mine. "I'll be good tonight." When his eyes open, I note how bewitched they are as they peer down at me.  The half eyelids and longing gaze he shares with me is similar to the eternal desire between all the wedding couples I've seen . I gulp and become so coy that I look down at my feet.  
 Brad kisses my forehead. "Come on in." 
 
 
 
 Chapter 9: Fatal Attraction 
  He takes me inside with a hand on my back. "What are we watching?" 
 "I have no clue." He admits. "We could talk until we figure that out." 
 "While cuddling." I smile. 
 "Are you hungry?" 
 "No...my lunch was big. I’m stuffed." 
 "Okay, I guess we can skip dinner then." He grins. "And go to the couch." 
 "Alright." Brad leads me from a classy foyer and passes a dining room to a living room, which is set up like a movie theater. Surround sound speakers are in each corner of the room, and a projector screen hangs from the ceiling. A leather sofa with cup holders completes the look. "Wow, this is so nice! The sound quality must literally blow you away." I joke. 
 "It's 360, so yeah." 
 "Porn must be a masterpiece in here." 
 "It is." His hand circles the middle of my back. 
 "You're freaky." 
 "Look who's talking." He rolls his eyes. 
 I hit his shoulder. "I've been on good behavior." 
 "Ehh...kinda." 
 "Whatever…where are we snuggling?" 
 "Umm...either the chase or just across the middle. Your pick." 
 I go to sit in the middle. "Here is good; we can see the tv better."Brad takes a seat beside me. I realize that this is the closest our bodies have been since the club. I reluctantly stare at our touching legs.  
 "We could just sit normally if you want?" He tries to ease my nerves. 
 "No...I just...it's...Umm. just something I gotta get used to again." I twist my body so that we're face to face. "How are we going to do this?" 
 "Huh?" Brad is lost for a second. "Oh, the snuggling.” 
 “Take your mind out the gutter,” I smirk. 
 “You first. How about you stick to your word about mounting?" 
 I snicker. "No, no mounting, I'm a changed woman tonight; forget the old me." 
 "I can't." Brad kisses my chin, then pecks underneath it. I huff at the brush of his lips as they smooch down my neck. I lean my neck to the other side. My hands plant onto his chest. I give a mixture between a moan and a sigh. I claw at his chest. Brad grunts against my neck. My ferocious sex drive reactivates and dominates my senses. Again, it feels like my bare flesh is being touched. My downstairs torches. My palms slide down his shirt and stop at his belt buckle. Brad raises my chin and hungrily glances at my lips. I gulp again. "Can I kis-" I press my mouth onto his and kiss him slowly. Our lips are feathers as they smash together. He's so delicate with his smooch, while I'm forceful. Our skins stick together, which each break away. We breathe into each other. When he grunts, I back off. "That was too short." He complains. 
 "It was long to me." 
 "How about one more go, so I can agree with you?" 
 I trace my fingers up his exposed arms. "One more will lead to making out." 
 "What's so horrible about that?" 
 "Let’s not spoil it." Brad gets upset again. "We can cuddle now." I push him back by the arms, so he lays. Then I rest on his chest, with my legs to one side. 
 "You're too far away." 
 "No, I'm not." 
 "I need you closer..." He whispers into my ear. 
 I shiver at the air from his mouth and move over slightly. "Is that better?" 
 "Closer," he whispers again. 
 I shiver again. "That tickles, staaap." The only way I can get closer is by swinging my leg over and scooting forward. I do this exactly...and am astonished by the sound that escapes him. Pleasure and fascination tumble as one and come out as a horny slur. I peer up at Brad, who stares wide eyed at the half of my torso that’s over his.  Oh...I did not think this through . "Uh oh...my bad." 
 I start to move away, but Brad disagrees. "No, stay there." My mouth opens to ask why, but I find the answer right away. When Brad exhales, I feel the crotch of his jeans close to mine and the lump of his...member. My mouth hangs open, and I stay put.  If I move, it will add pressure...pressure that will feel hard on the crotch of my dress .  I think Brad knows this too.  He eyes his private area and holds in his breath. I watch his stomach flex under his shirt and, once again, feel the bulge through my dress. My eyes survey Brad's face; it's twisted with sweet agony; I understand very well. His pretty eyes meet mine; I can tell he’s thinking the word, please.  This  can't take place! No matter how fantastic his snake feels against me. No matter how much I want to experiment with sensation. 
 Brad heaves now. His penis is a rock when he exhales. I catch my breath when it rises higher than before and quiver when it presses the most sensitive spot. Brad's brows wedge together, and he groans, all while never breaking eye contact. I breathe through my mouth now and match his heaving. Every time he exhales, I gasp and shake, and he moans deeply. I’m weakened by the weight down there and lose the little arch I have in my leg. My body flattens onto him. "Oh!" I cry out. 
 "Mmm mm!" Brad sings. 
 I pants now, and my cherry flinches against my will. My whole body throbs, along with my heart. Brad closes his eyes and leans his head back. The brute of a moan that emits from his lungs causes me to put out a throaty one.  Oh god, I want to ride him ! I need to hump him. I mount him and am roofed by a solid bone of flesh. Brad sits up and slams my waist into his, and holds it snug. "Ugh, uh, uh, mmm!!" I harmonize breathlessly. Our mystified eyes connect, and our lungs produce ragged noises. I lay my head into the crook of his neck and push my hips down. 
 "Ahh!" Brad roars. 
 I ride him slowly and yelp into his neck with every tight and long stroke. With every back and forth motion, I think.  How the hell does it feel this way with clothes on?! This is paradise…and it’s also forbidden fruit. The way his dick contorts against me through his jeans is mind numbing.   Brad's hands run up my legs and to my ass cheeks and squeezes. I wail at both the back and front force I'm enduring. A pool of cum floods my underwear. I claw at his chest again and howl hoarsely. A dizziness from the sludge I just dropped knocks me off balance. I deepen my nails into his chest. Brad growls crazily.  Hmmm...this has to stop...but it’s so…so irresistible…so incredible. Oh god! No, I need to get off the pony .  The thick, curled, solid pony . When Brad pushes my ass deeper into him, I let out a noise close to a scream, then say, "we have to stop!" I hyperventilate. 
 He lets go of me. I move to lay back on his side. "Sorry...I um...got carried away. I'm sorry, Maddy." Brad swallows and shuts his eyes. He pants...then immediately hold his breath. "Oh no..." His brown eyes shoot open. 
 "What? Is it a boner??" 
 "No...worse." 
 “What's worse?" I watch him in dread. 
 "I smell you." Brad licks his lips and stares down at my dress. There's a wet spot around my crotch, and it's cool to the air. His fingers near the damp, thin dress. Just as his digit press onto the fabric, I get up from the sofa, hopping over the backside. 
 "I...I think I should go." 
 "Don't." Brad stands.  
 "No. I need to go. We can try this some other tim-." A hot trickle skids down my leg and towards my ankle.  What the hell? Is more coming out ?  Brad watches the cum tread past the side of my knee and towards my ankle. It’s as if he’s puppeteered…possessed. He kneels before me with ravenous eyes and licks the bodily cream. His tongue is so textured, so rough... as it slips up my ankle to my knee. I swear the touch of it sparks my skin and numbs it all at once. He murmurs, delighted by the taste. I grip my fingers through his hair and almost topple backward.  This has to stop...before he gets -  Brad's tongue is at my thigh now, right below the pool of cum leaking through my dress. His eyes latch onto mine, seeking confirmation that I can't give.  It'll undo my plan of waiting, my plan of marrying beforehand.   My heart smashes in my chest. "Where's the bathroom?" 
 I don't give him time to respond. I hurry away, not knowing where the hell I'm going. All I know is I have to get far from him before we have sex.  I need to get out of here. I need to get home.  I pull at three doors, finding closets and a pantry before locating the bathroom. I go into the all white room and lock the door behind me. I run the sink, roll off some tissue and try to clean myself up. I dab at my legs and lift my dress. The scent down there blasts my nostrils.  Wow...is that how I smell?  The glazed meat odor is impossible to miss...so is my spoiled underwear. I slip them off. "Okay...Umm." I go crouch over the toilet and roll more tissue to wipe away the thick jelly. "Damn it." I flush used tissue after used tissue until I'm somewhat clean, then I dab my underwear as much as possible. My clothes are still wet, but at least I got some of the smell away. A tap on the door draws my attention. 
 "You okay?" 
 "I'm gonna head home." 
 "Why?" 
 "Because you just tried to eat me.” 
 "It's out of my system now, I promise. You don't have to leave." 
 “I don't have a change of clothes." 
 "I can give you one of my shirts." He flirts. 
 I grin and roll my eyes. "Don't make it worse than it already is." I wash my hands and dry them off on a hanging towel.  
 "It won't be worse; I'll sit on the other side of the couch." 
 I unlock the door and sigh. "That is not a solid strategy." 
 Brad's chocolate eyes fall onto my lips. "Please stay...it's late." 
 "Can't...plus I always take late rides." 
 "You're 30 minutes out, though. That's a long drive." His tone is bombarded with protectiveness. "I have a guest room." 
 I shake my head. "Brady, no. We almost just had sex, and you were seconds. Tonight has to end before there's more physical activity."  
 "I'll sleep down here. How about that?"  
 I puff out my cheeks. "I'll just go home." 
 "You can trust me." He delivers the words with genuine honesty. 
 "I know...it's me I can't trust. This was my fault, again. I'm the evil one." 
 "Deliciously evil." Brad wink. 
 "Stop." My face reddens.  
 "You are...my mouth hasn't stopped watering." He opens it enough for me to see a soaked tongue.  
 I lower my head. "See…that's why I gotta go." 
 Brad bends his knees to kiss me...well, more like make out. His mouth is vigorous on mine this time around, and, as I predicted, he's vocal. The same pleased murmur from when he tasted me is done again. The way his neck strokes back and forth ignites my slutty side. I recklessly want him to use his tongue. My filthy mine is trying to undermine my newfound self-discipline. "Stay." He requests between smooches.  
 "Next time..." I retort and leave him alone in the hall. I take my phone from my dress’s pocket and book an Uber. I almost sit on the couch; I straighten from a half swat and decide to lean sideways on a wall. I pay $40 for a ride, then walk to the front door to tiptoe and peer out its glass window. The street is jet black, limited light comes from the porches of the other units, and there are no streetlights.  
 "Okay...this is my last attempt." Brad's low tone sounds from behind me. "Let me drive you home." 
 I spin around. "You want us in an enclosed space for 30 minutes?" 
 "I'll control my urges." 
 "For the second time, I'm the untrustworthy one here." I poke at his nose. Brad lightly claw his fingers through my ponytail. "Hey, watch it, mister. Don't tempt me." I jab a finger his way. 
 "Sorry, ma'am." 
 My phone alerts me of an approaching driver. "My rides here." Brad reacts to this the same as a child facing separation anxiety would. There's the same fear of loss and despair. "Aww." I hold his hands. "I'll call you once I get home." 
 "Alright."  
 "Bye."  
 Brad smooches both of my hands. "Bye." He opens the door for me and watches me walk to a black car resting at the curb. When I get in, I wave at him until he's no longer visible, then I buckle up.  
 Aww...he looks so helpless. Should I have stayed? No...no, I'm not to be trusted...especially unsupervised. If Lily was around, she would have neutralized the situation. I can't be alone with Brad, him driving me to work, yes, we're in public. But us in private is a no no.  I stare out at the dark suburb and wonder what if.  What if I stayed? What if we had sex tonight? Would I be mad at myself for straying from my ideal life? And be a bride in white who doesn’t qualify to wear the color? I wouldn’t be a  pure bride. And the honeymoon wouldn’t be a true one. I think I made the right decision tonight.  
 "Hello." My driver, a middle aged man, greets me.  
 "Oh, I'm sorry, hello. Is your night busy?" I look ahead at the guy in the rearview mirror, who is simple in looks and has ruby hair.  
 "Not really...it's slower out here. People hardly order a ride. You must be from the city." 
 "Yeah." 
 "I should have known; you're too pretty to be a suburb girl. City girls are on another level of beauty. You all could be models." 
 "That's interesting…I never heard that before." 
 "First time out here, I'm guessing." 
 "It is." 
 "That's why. You have to live here to know the difference. So what brings you this way?" The guy's dark eyes stay on me in the mirror while he works the wheel. The car turns onto a two lane street.  
 "My boyfriend." 
 "Oh...I should have figured that." The man guffaws. "You two had fun, huh?" 
 My eyes bludge. That’s such a weird question to ask. "Umm...I'd rather not answer that." 
 "Oh, I get it...it's a personal question." The guy's nasally tone has a drawl to it. I glance away when his eyes watch me through the rearview. The car sails down empty streets full of darkness. Nothing but the headlights of the car light a path. "You have a nice perfume. It smells very natural." 
 "Oh...thank you." 
 "It's nice." 
 "I use Downy detergent; it's my favorite." 
 "No...that isn't laundry detergent." 
 I get uneasy about what he means and how he could possibly... OMG. No. No! That can't be what he's complimenting! Is he talking about my juices??!  "Your boyfriend must love your scent if you get my gists. You smell brand new." The vibe from the driver and the gloomy location rattle my nerves. I go to my messenger on my phone and text Lilly a link to the ride, so she can track it. In the Uber app, I tap on my profile picture and am led to the menu. The help button sticks out like a sore thumb. I click it. "Am I right, beautiful?" I avoid eye contact with him and scroll down a list of report options for this ride. "Are you brand new, honey? You have to be with that high surge." He takes a big whiff of air. My skin crawls, and my hands shake as I select Report Safety Issue. "Whew!" The driver hits the wheel; I jump. "I'm glad we have a long time together; this is gonna be fun." 
 I wrap my hand around the handle of my door and press the first safety report option. A ding from the control panel causes me to jump again. "Not so fast, dear. We haven’t had enough time together." All of the doors lock. I hyperventilate, and my finger clings to the sides of my phone. I activate Apple's SOS button. The emergency screen counts down from three seconds and blares out an alarm. The man grins. "Playing hard to get, are you?" His free hand extends back to yank my phone from my hand. My eardrums buzz and beat with the noise of my galloping heart. He rolls down his window and tosses my phone out. My lungs tighten, and I fight for air. The car speeds now; its engine sounds like a waking beast. My hands frantically hit at my window.  
 The driver says something, but it's faint. My hearing is muffled, crippled by my panicking senses. Houses whiz past in streaks now. I heave and manage a scream. It isn't loud; it dies once it leaves my throat.  NO ONE CAN HEAR ME! I NEED HELP! I NEED TO GET OUT! GET OUT OF THIS CAR!   My hands fling off my seatbelt. The car tires streak around a corner, and the engine doubles in the momentum. It hums viciously. My fingers wobble to manually unlock my door. I pull the door lever. All sensations in my body go cold and time stands still. I gasp, afraid of what I'm about to do. My hands push open the door. The lines of the road blur below me. I squeeze my eyes shut and jump out. My body tumbles on sizzling gravel. I cover my head and curl my body. My skin scrapes the flaming road. The skin of my arms and legs are sliced with every roll, and my body flings like a ragdoll. I roll down the hard pavement. Everything on my body burns and aches. My head, arms, legs, chest, and face.  
 Blood leaks down my head and into my eyes. The flesh on my bare legs and arms hold wounds similar to grated cheese. I hear the sound of the car screeching like a demon. IT’S COMING MY WAY!!! I lift myself up but end up writhing in agony. When the devious machine rumbles on. IT’S GETTING CLOSER! I manage to scream. "HELP??!!! SOMEBODY HELP ME???!!" I yell at the top of my lungs. The houses around all have their garage lights on, no windows are lit. I hear the roaring car disappear into the distance. A door opens. I whimper at the sound and shed tears of relief. A resident from one of the houses hustles to me. I lose consciousness. 
 
 
 
 Chapter 10: Downfall 
  My eyes open to the ceiling of a hospital room. The sound of a heart rate monitor jumble together with the sound my heart made right before I jumped out of the car. The flashes of the red-haired Uber driver's dark eyes and the car doors snapping locked makes me hold my head. There are bandages all up my arms and legs, on my neck and head too. I can't move an inch without the fabric rustling. My hands are bruised black, and paler than usual. There's an IV hooked into my left arm that drips fluid. I try to sit up and regret this right away, my neck clatters terribly, and the skin all over my body stretches like glue. The skid marks covering my body blister and prickle. I hiss through my teeth and lay backward with a long whine.  How did I get here?  I recall a random woman in slippers and a robe kneeling to me with her phone to her ear.  I can't believe this! This all feels so surreal.  "Oh, you're up." A female doctor says from the door. "How are you feeling?" 
 "Horrible.” 
 "I'd be surprised if you said otherwise. You're lucky to be alive, Ms. Hart. But you got pretty banged up." The doctor paces to stand beside me.  
 "My skin...will it...will I need surgery?" 
 "As of right now, no. Most road burns heal within 2 weeks, and new blood vessels grow to create new skin cells. If, and only if this process fails, then you will need surgery." 
 "I hit my head."I hold my temple and hiss at the shaking nails sensation across my forehead. 
 "I've ordered scans for a full body analysis, don't worry about it. Just rest." 
 I nod and inhale slowly. "How long ago did I get here?" 
 "About 4 hours." 
 "What time is it?" 
 "5 am." 
 I recall my phone got thrown out the window. "Is there a phone I can use?" 
 The woman takes a wired phone from a table by the door and brings it to the bed. "Your friends are in the hallway. I can allow them in if you're up for it?" 
 "I am…thank you." 
 "You're welcome." The doctor exits the room.  
 I look at the monitor at my slightly elevated heart rate. The beeping noise is quicker now. I hold my breath for a few seconds until it decreases, then exhale. The door opens a lot faster this time and with more force. Lily, Jessica, and Brad stampede in; their faces are stricken with emotional distress. "MADDY, OH MY GOD!" Lily tries to hug me but halts because of my bandages. "I was scared to death when you left me that text! I tracked your ride; everything seemed okay." She sniffs; her eyes are bloodshot red, and her voice is unsteady. Jessica mirrors her girlfriend's sadness, and Brad is chalk white in complexion. His eyes are stuck on all the bandages on my body. "Then the news report..." 
 My head spins at her words. "News report??" 
 "Yeah, the woman that found you called the cops. I reported the asshole too. Uber is getting shitted on right now. As they should. I can't believe that creep got hired; he had sexual assault charges. Fucking shitbag!" Lily rages  
 Jessica holds her closer and frowns. "I hope the cops find and kill the scum." 
 "How are you?" Lily sniffles and wipes her eyes. "I know that's dumb to ask." 
 "It's not..." I try to smile, but it breaks its form before it begins due to muscle tension. "I don't know how I feel...all of this feels fake." My voice is so blank as it speaks these words. 
 "It makes no damn sense." Lil’s lips quiver. 
 I look at Brad again; he's still the same. He looks like he needs medical attention too. I don't think he's blinked yet.  That must be the shock. I don't know why I'm not in it...or am I?  My complexion is colorless; I think that’s a sign. Lily follows my line of vision. "Jessica, let's give them the room. Do you want anything to drink?" 
 I shake my head. "Okay." She goes to the door, patting Brad on the shoulder before leaving.  
 When the door shuts, I smile at him, only to wince from the gesture. The muscles of my face tense, which doubles the discomfort. He jets to my side in alarm and softly caresses my smile lines. Tears swell in his toffee eyes. "This is my fault."  
 "Don't say that." 
 "It is...I should have followed my gut. It was too late to take a ride…and too far. I should have forced you to stay...or carried you to my car and took you home. But I didn't. I should have." The guilt in his voice is dooming, and so are the tears that streak down his face. 
 "Don't do that." I scold him. "I'm the one who was being stubborn. Don't you dare blame yourself!" I use my thumbs to wipe away his tears.  
 "That's the only thing I've been able to do...the fucker is on the run. The cops are too far behind, and I'm useless." 
 "Baby..." My thumbs stroke across his eyelids now; Brad closes them and sighs. "You're not useless. You're here for me, aren't you?" I peck his lips and rest my nose on his. "That makes you the best boyfriend ever."  
 "I should be doing more." 
 "Shhhh..." I shush him. "Just hold me.” 
 We stay in this embrace for some time, breathing and crying in unison. The temperature we emit reminds me of a warm blanket in the winter, of a good moment.  But this isn't a good moment. It's more so bitters.   Reality still isn't resonating as it should. This feels like a bad dream...a nightmare. I'm on the news...the cops are on the hunt for the drivers. My friends are a wreck. I'm stuck in a be for 2 weeks…and I feel like I'm in someone else's body, watching it all unfold.  I don't remember falling to sleep or even closing my eyes.  I realize I'm dreaming when I wake up in bed with Brad, and we both have on wedding rings. Also, the dreamy haze points to it being all in my head. For some reason, we have three dogs, Golden Retrievers. Hmmm, maybe my mind took his love of them too far. We walk the pets down the street, coming from a house with a picket fence and ultra green grass. The picture perfect neighborhood. I'm overjoyed...and untouched by my current injuries.  
 
 Then everything goes dark, I assume I'm about to wake up, but another dream begins. I'm wearing heels and walk a window filled high rise at night. The atmosphere is different here. It's more so a high life vibe than the American dream. I don't know where I'm walking, but I sure do look good in a blackberry velvet dress that clings to my body in all the right places. My hands open a wooden door to an all black, edgy, modern office. There, at a desk surrounded by windows, sits Jace Harrison with his sparkling green eyes and smooth demeanor. 
 
 
 "Hello, darling. Are you ready for tonight?" His lips move in the peculiar motion I can't fully explain, and his voice is unbearably fine.  
 
 
 "I am."  
 
 
 He stands from his desk and walks away from the most dazzling view of the city I've ever seen. Jace’s broad shoulders in a suit jacket are unmatched, his black hair and height lure me in. We're dressed in the same shade and have the air of a luxurious life. Jace offers me his hand, and I lay mine into it. The billionaire smooches the satin glove I have on. 
 
 The brightness of sunlight wakes me from my strange dreams. I cover my eyes from the sun, wondering what time it is. What day. I feel woozy from the medication I'm on. I rub my eyes as I search the room for my squad. None of them are here. Instead, there are baskets of silk peony flowers. Pink ones that range from the lightest to the darkest shade. The baskets they sit in are incredibly tall and pure white. The beautiful flowers gleam in the sun like a dream. I blink and rub my eyes again to confirm that I'm back in reality. "I must be dreaming again," I tell myself. 
 The doctor enters my room and smiles warmly at me. "Good morning. Isn't it a beautiful sunny day?"  
 "It is...it's very sunny," I reply. "Umm...tell me, are these really here, or am I hallucinating??" I point to the flowers.  
 The doc laughs at my unusual tone. "Oh, those are real. I see how you would think their fake. Peonies are unbelievable." 
 "So they're here for real?" I suspiciously eye the baskets. 
 "Yes." She strolls over to one of the baskets and plucks a folded card from one. "The sender left a note." 
 When she hands it to me, I study it, then the flowers. "They must be from my boyfriend."  
 "If so, you're a lucky girl. Most men get roses." She fakes a barf, then goes to the monitor to adjust it. I grin at her joke before unfolding the card. My heart reacts faster than my mind. The monitor beeps at double speed now. Like a deer caught in headlights, I peer at the name.  What? No way. But why?  
 
 
 WISHING YOU WELL, DARLING <3 
 
 
 The cursive font is silvery and reflective under the sunlight.  Why did Jace send me flowers? Why? First, the $500; now a romantic gesture? I don't get it. Is he trying to get me into an arrangement like Lil thought? If so, I'm not interested. I won't be another one of his trophies. I won't be on his long list of women.  I gaze at the elegant card, then get my heart rate under control by meditating.  I don't need any more excitement. Just ignore the flowers. That's what I need to do. Although, the peonies glow like the enchanted rose from Beauty and the Beast. I’m captured by their beauty like a moth to flame. No...look away.   
 I look to the side at a long sofa and a single chair to find no one there.  Where did Brad go?  It's as if my question is answered by the universe. The door opens, and he comes in carrying a bag of what looks like clothes. "Hey, feeling better?" 
 "Yeah...what's in the bag?" I ask while I hide the card under the sheet draped over me.  There's no need for drama right now.  
 "Lil picked some things out for you since you're here for a few days." 
 "I am?" 
 "That's what the doc said. You're still in critical condition. Lucky to be alive and have bones, you're being called a miracle."   
 "I don't feel like one," I add sourly.  
 "I think you are, you jumped out of a moving car, and I still have you. That's a miracle." 
 "What did Lil have you bring?" 
 "I have no clue; she packed the bag and then left to get coffee and doughnuts for us." Brad walks to me with the bag. I try to open it, but my arms go flimsy and spasm from the amount of strength it takes. Brad does it for me. Inside is underwear, pads, mouthwash, face wipes, my blanket, and a pillow.  
 "Looks like she brought my whole place." 
 "Do you want your blanket?" 
 "No, I'm good."  
 Brad ties up the bag and then puts it in the nearest corner. "Oh...the tv. I want to keep up with the search." He looks around for the remote and finds it on the side of the chair. He turns on a box tv that's far and high in the corner. "Last I checked, the trail was still cold. There's a local hunt going on. I’m joining in later tonight."  
 "A hunt?" 
 "Yeah, locals are assisting the police...you should see all the gifts people left outside for you. Candles, flowers, posters. It honestly looks like a shrine." My boyfriend notices the peonies. "I guess you already know about all the support judging by those."  
 On the tv, there's a news report about a TikTok Choking challenge. "Another trend has turned deadly. A TikTok challenge to measure lung longevity has led to five people dying just last night." The black and white app logo is displayed. "Once again, TikTok has allowed a fatal challenge to go unchecked and reach tens of millions of people. So far, there is no lawsuit from the individual families, but there is outrage. Their loved ones are wondering why certain contests aren't banned by their hashtag." A woman states gravely. "I hope there is some change. I also hope others will heed the risk of following such a trend."  
 A box in the high corner above her displays the Uber app icon. "Speaking of following, the LAPD is still chasing air and has no new leads. The uber attack involving a rider, Madison Hart." An old picture of me, which I'm sure is from Facebook, shows on the entire screen. "It has been ruled a kidnapping attempt, as far as we know, and the young woman has suffered injuries after the traumatic event that forced her to jump out of the car to save herself from a monster. We all hope justice is served and wish Madison a speedy recovery." 
 I glower at the tv, bitter about the fake sympathy of the newscaster and the old photo.  It's ugly, both her and the picture of me with bangs.  "Could you turn it off?" 
 Brad switches off the tv and focuses on me. "Can you tell me what happened?" 
 "This is bad timing."  
 "I want to know."  
 I huff and stare out the window. My eyes gloss up, and my heart rocks in my chest. "Ask me some other time, okay?" 
 "Tell me...I don't want to find out from the news."  
 "Just drop it..." My voice quivers.  
 The door opens. Lil comes in with a case of doughnuts with coffee cups balanced on top of it. Brad goes to assist her, taking the tray of cups in case they tumble over. "Thanks," Lil says, relieved. "You wouldn't believe how crowded the parking lot is. Jessica couldn't find a park."  
 "Wow, it's that busy?" I ask. 
 "Yes! There are news trucks; people are outside with candles for you." Lil opens the box and turns it so I can view the treats. "Which ones do you want? Have as many as you like, fuck that diet." 
 I laugh hard. "Chocolate, please." 
 My bestie places four fudge covered doughnuts on a napkin and hands it to me. Brad takes a cup out of the tray and comes my way. I chew on the sweet bread and accept the coffee. The hotness of the beverage as it goes down my throat is soothing, and the chocolate melts on my tongue. "Oh, this is so good!" I say with a full mouth.  
 "I bet...you haven't eaten anything in a day." Brad smiles at me obsessing over the food.  
 "Wow...I guess I haven't." 
 "You might eat the whole box, and you can. Stress eating is definitely allowed right now." Lil's eyes go to the blank tv. "Is there an update?" 
 "No...it's the same." Brad sounds disappointed.  
 "You still going on the search hunt?"  
 "Yeah." 
 I drink the coffee and shake my head. "He doesn't have to; the cops can handle it.” 
 "I want to...we've been over this. I need to do more than sit here."  
 Lil gazes between us, I know I look irritated by the tightness of the skin on my forehead, and Brad is unyielding too. "Extra help is good." She states neutrally. "Jessica is going too." 
 "Are you?" 
 "You shouldn't be here alone. I'll stay." 
 "We can take shifts; honestly, all of us should join in. " Brad states. 
 "We could do that." 
 I don't get why they'd go searching when the police can do it. Maybe Lil and Jessica feel useless like Brad does. It's odd if they do. Nothing will change if they go combing through the streets....through the forest. The driver had hours to flee and is most likely out of the city, if not the state. I hate that. I hate the fact that such a human can get away that easily. I wish I had a gun...or pepper spray, something to disable him. If I had, I wouldn't be here in critical condition. If I had a weapon, I would have made sure the demon was handcuffed.  A few minutes after eating, I drift off again. This time I dream about the car ride.  
 The chilling horror of the red haired man, his dark eyes and creepy voice. The panic and fear are so strong that it thickens the air. The doors lock and the car goes into turbo speed. Outside is completely black...no houses are around as they were on the night. It's a void. It's what I would think death would look like. "No," I whisper. Suddenly, I have a gun. I don't know the type. It's too dark to make out. I point the weapon at the driver and scream. "NO!!" I pull the trigger. The gun blasts out white flashes. The driver yells. A bullet goes through the back of his car seat, through his back. The gun moves to the side, to where his heart is. "NOO!!"  A white light brightens the car...another shot booms.  
 "Maddy?" Lil’s voice comes from far away. "Wake up." I open my eyes. It's dark out now, and the tv is on with a low volume. The monitor has my heart rate at a 155, and it beeps more than five times a second. "It's okay..." She holds my hand.  
 My eyes sting, and my face stream with never ending tears. "No...it's not." I cry. "I should have done something to stop him. Why didn't I?" 
 "You need to stop." Lil summons the energy of a stern parent. "You did what you could." 
 "I didn't...I froze. I had no control over the situation." 
 "That's normal, Maddy. You went into shock, and that's okay." 
  The sight of the bandages all over my skin and the strain on my muscles make me sob. "Why did this happen to me!" I breakdown.  
 Lil hugs me and rubs the back of my head. "I don't know...it shouldn't have happened." She cries too. 
 "Brad asked me to stay. If I had, none of this would have-" 
 "Don't think that way...none of this is your fault." 
 "It is..." I whimper. 
 Lily pulls out from the hug and eyes me. "No, it’s not." 
 "I went too far messing around with Brad and had to leave because of it. I did what I always do. I pushed the limit. The guy could smell me. I cleaned myself up the best I could. I had nothing else to wear. I should have spent the night with Brad...but I got into the car and caused all of this." My voice is full of so much self pity, so is my mind. 
 "That's no excuse for what that trash did to you." 
 "I feel like it is." I wail like a child. 
 "It's not." Lil holds me under her chin and wraps her arms across my back. "Don't give that piece of shit an excuse." I wipe my eyes and glance at the heart monitor. It decreases from 155 to 143. I wiggle my head into her neck and slow my breathing. "It's okay." When the beeping is stable, I close my eyes again and fall asleep against her.  The same dream is repeated. Only this time, the driver is a manifestation of a horned devil hacking and flooring the gas pedal. I don't have a weapon this time, and the door won't open. No matter how hard I slam my side against it, it doesn't budge. "You're a little tease, aren't you?" The devil man sings with black eyes, where there is no sign of white. "This is what you wanted, isn't it? To have fun?" 
 
 
 
 Chapter 11: Spiral 
 I think the universe is finally punishing me for being fast with guys. What else would explain the dream?? I haven't been going about my plan as I should. I'm supposed to keep pure until I'm married. I've done the opposite. Now my actions have consequences. I can't be so reckless any more...so careless. From now on, I won't be. The want of being touched or touching someone is a turn off to me now. It's taboo. I can't break my rule. I have to be celibate until my honeymoon. Meaning no having fun and no near sex experiences. That's how it has to be...how it should be.  I hear a newscaster reporting an oncoming thunderstorm from the tv. My mind wakes before I do. My eyes don't open.  I don't know why . It takes some time for my delayed eyelids to slide open. Brad is sleeping in the chair, which is pushed towards the bed.  
 I watch him sleep for some time and smile at his hands on his lap and his open mouth. There are light platters of rain hitting the windows, and the dark sky is cloudy. Flickers of lightning burst the sky, and low rumbling follows a few seconds after. I peer out the windows at the light storm and wonder if Lil and her girlfriend are out in it.  The search party should be inside...I hope they are. God, I need my phone. I could just text Lil. Now I'm worried about her safety over mine. Yeah, my bestie is tough, but I don't want her out in what the news is calling a heavy storm. 
 On the screen, the radar has a mass of green and red heading this way.  I remember that the doctor left a phone on the bed. I feel around for it, not finding it there. Instead, it's back on the table by the door.  Can I make it over there? I think I can.  I hang my leg off the bed, winching at the stabs of pain. The bed crinkles as I try to put my foot on the floor. Brad sits up in the chair right away. "Do you need help?" His voice is groggy. 
 "Umm..." I grimace at my leg and let it rest. "Yeah, I want to call Lil to make sure she's not out in this storm." 
 Brad digs into his jean pockets to retrieve his phone. "Here." He types in his passcode before holding it out to me. 
 "You trust me with your phone?" I gape at him. 
 "Yeah." 
 I take it from him. "What if I snoop?" 
 Brad's dark honey eyes are relaxed. "You can." 
 I glance down at his phone, at the apps on its home screen and his message app. There's a notification for five new texts. I stare at it.  How can he trust me this much already? I wouldn't trust him with mine...not that I'm doing stuff behind his back. I just haven't deleted Tinder yet. I wonder if he deleted his. "Are you still on Tinder?" I ask while clicking on the phone app to punch in Lil's phone number.  
 "No. You?" 
 "Don't get mad...I haven't deleted it yet." 
 "Why not?" His low voice is hurt by this. 
 "I haven't got around to it." 
 "Could you delete it?" 
 I nod to assure him. “I will,” I select Lily’s number and call. I place the phone to my ear and am stunned by how quick she answers. "Is everything okay? What's wrong??!" She panics. 
 "Hey, it's me. Everything's good. I'm just calling to tell you to get inside; there's a storm coming." 
 "We're heading back now, be there in about fifteen minutes." 
 "Okay, good, drive safe." 
 "We will, hon." 
 I hang up and give Brad back his phone. "They're on the way." I glance over at the small sofa. "I hope that lets out into a day bed." Brad rubs his eyes. I realize they're red from lack of sleep...or from crying. "Sorry I woke you up." 
 "That's okay. You're looking better; your color is coming back." 
 "I must have looked like a ghost, huh?" 
 "A little." I peer down at my hands and then look at him through my lashes. He acts as if this gesture sweeps him off his feet. Brad does the breathless thing again. "You're so beautiful." 
 I snort. "No, I'm not. I gotta look terrible." 
 "You don't." He leans forward to kiss me slowly.  
 "Aww." I give him a nose nookie. "Stop being so cute." 
 "No." I laugh at his bluntness. A striking bolt of lightning blinds the sky, and a monstrous wave of thunder makes me yelp. Brad snickers at me and smooches me again. His full lips linger on mine and curl into a smile. He peers down at me, and once again, that alluring look he had before returns. "I need to tell you something." He whispers. "Maddy...I-" 
 I place a finger on his lips. "You can't say that yet." 
 "Why not?" 
 "Because you can't...that's supposed to come way later." 
 "Says who?" He kisses my finger, then moves my palm to his mouth to do the same. 
 "Says the rules." I blurt. 
 Brad chuckles. "I can't help how I feel." 
 "How are you even there yet? I'm not...I mean, I like you a lot, but. Are you sure?" 
 "I am." 
 "But...how???" 
 Brad is amused by my question. "You're asking me how I lo-" 
 "Ahh, don't say it.” I cut him off. “Just answer." 
 He strokes a line down from my palm and to my inner wrist. "I just do." 
 "I need a better explanation than that." 
 "Everything doesn't need an explanation. I can't help how I feel about you." 
 "You're just saying this because I’m hurt; you think you have to say it." 
 "No, I'm not. I wanted to tell you when you were outside my door. I chose not to." 
 "Why?" 
 "I wasn't sure." 
 "What made you sure now?" 
 Brad's eyes lower to my patched up arms and remain there. "Seeing you covered in blood...and lifeless scared me more than anything in my life. I knew if you were to..." he huffs and eyes me sorrowfully, "if you had gone from this world, I would have followed you." A wounded expression that belongs to an abandoned dog attacks his face. 
 My breaths catch in my lungs, and my mouth drops. "You can't possibly mean that."  
 "I do." 
 "You must still be in shock or something." 
 "Or I believe in love at first sight." 
 I giggle. "More like love at first hump." 
 "That too." He cackles.  
 "Geez!" Lil exclaims while coming through the door. "It's bad out." 
 I stare at the windows and find a white sheet of rain that leaves no visibility of the surroundings. "Wow, it is." 
 Jessica closes the door and takes off soaked gym shoes. Her black hair is flattened on her cheeks, and her hoodie is beyond damp. Lil closes a dripping umbrella. Her midnight blue hair is shiny and wet. "I took a picture of the shrine." Lily operates her phone while circling around the bed to show me. A picture of the entrance of the hospital cluttered with teddy bears, get well signs, candles, balloons, and flowers warms my heart. "That's so sweet, right?" 
 "I can't believe complete strangers care that much." 
 "Well, I guess the saying, "kindness of strangers," is true. Oh, I picked you up a cake with extra fudge." She wiggles a clear container of cake.  
 "You're gonna fatten me up."  
 "Crap, she's onto me. Jess, ready the getaway car!" She puts on a villainous voice. Jessica hums the mission impossible theme music. Lil does a sneaky robber tiptoe to the beat. What kills me is when Brad hums along in a deeper tone while Jessica's goes higher.  
 I do a gut-wrenching, hardly can breathe laugh. "Please stop!" I snort like a pig. The silliness goes on despite my command. I end up teary eyed from all the giggling.  
 "We have to give you some joyful torture." Lil gives me the cake.  
 "Any luck?" Brad asks her. 
 "No...people think the guy skipped town...or the state. But it doesn't hurt to keep hope." 
 Jessica sits on the opposite side of the bed and grins at me. There's a hint of pity she can't hide. "I know you probably don't want to talk about this, but how did he look? It's hard  finding a guy without a description." 
 "True...” Lil seconds. “The car he had to be ditched; otherwise, the cops would have him." 
 "Why haven't the police interviewed you yet? It's weird that they're doing patrols without an illustration." 
 "Maybe Uber handed over dashcam footage…or his employee photo," I conclude. "And sorry...Jessica, but I can't. Maybe tomorrow."  
 "Alright." She places a hand over mine. "Take your time." 
 When I finish the cake, I use a face wipe to clean my mouth area. I can be a slob sometimes, especially over sugar. The news reports my case for about a minute since there are no new developments. I’m thankful to be spared from that. I hate the overdramatic news reporters who act more concerned than they actually are. I enjoy the support I have in the room from the people who are overly concerned. I wonder if my parents know about my situation.  They’re  over a hundred miles away in Montana. If only I had my phone. I bet I have so many missed calls.  I use Brad's cell again to call my mom. The line rings for some time. When it drops to voicemail, I hang up. "I'll try again in the morning." 
 "Is it the right number?" Lil knows who I’m trying to call without me saying. She frowns at the phone.  
 "It should be unless my mom has a new one. I'm not sure."  
 "Think about it in the morning." My boyfriend eases me. My face flinches, and my hand hurries to massage it. "You okay?" 
 "Yeah...it's probably a muscle spasm." The sensation leaves for a few seconds and then returns tenfold. The back of my head hammers with a blinding ache. A water effect comes next, from inside my skull. A needling stab makes me yelp and clutch the back of my head. "AHHH!!!" All three of them rush to hover over me. 
 "MADDY?!" 
 "ARE YOU OKAY???" 
 "CALL THE DOCTOR!!" 
 The ceiling lights burn my eyes now. The room spins. I hyperventilate and scream when a beating pressure pounds my head. Their worried faces crowd mine; my friends try to console me. Their mouths move, but I can't make out the words. Everything is buzzing now.  The insides of my ears seem to leak. My whole body vibrates against my will. The ceiling lights blaze and fry my irises. I scream longer now.  I can't hear myself. Brad yells something towards the door, Lily turns to stone, and Jess runs from the room. The searing pain in my head becomes unbearable. I lose my grip on consciousness.  Darkness is all I see...but I can hear the hectic hospital room. It's as if I'm blindfolded.  I can't open my eyes.  The monitor's beeping scares me.  AM I FLAT-LINING??  I freak out about how rapidly my heart is pumping blood. My head is weightless...and scorches. 
 "What is the issue here?" I hear my doctor.  
 "Head pain?" Another says. 
 "When did it begin?"  
 "A few minutes ago. Should we do an EKG?"  
 "This could be a side effect of the drugs she's on. The brain imaging prompts no need for an EKG.” 
 Is the doctor right? I hope that's what this is. The liquid sensation is worrying me . The nerves of my brain fire off like a cannonball. Persistent dizziness spins my eyes. I feel faint again. I try to hold on.  I don't want to go back to the darkness! I want to scream this aloud, but my mouth is sewn shut. My body paralyzed. I can't summon enough strength to part my lips to speak...or mumble.  I fade away again. 
 NOO!! WAKE UP!!  My inner self bellows desperately.  SNAP OUT OF IT!! WAKE UP! I WANT BRAD. WHERE IS HE?  The thoughts in my head fizzle out. Silence, so absolute plug my ears. I stare at a pit within my empty mind. It drags on so long that I figure I'm dead. There's no other explanation for the zero sound and visuals. Not a glimmer of light . It's said to be a tunnel of white light. There isn't . It's utter isolation. Darker than space...  I think my heart is gone. I believe I'm gone.  A swarm of voices come from far away. This brings hope that I'm okay. The voices are from different people, different tones, and sound like their disagreeing. Arguing. I decide to focus on one of them and determine what's being said. The inaudible conversation continues.  
 "No, you're not taking her anymore. Who do you think you are?"  I know this voice. I wish it wasn't so faint. I can hardly comprehend the words. I'm sure I'm mishearing the conversation.  
 "Maybe he should. Maddy can't stay here with these damn doctors."  That's my Lily for sure. I know her tone of voice even in death...or near death. Whatever state I'm in.  
 "I agree; she can't. There isn't enough time to bicker over it. Madison is getting worse. Let me take her. My doctors can treat her. Here, the resources are limited, and the staff isn't as attentive as they should be. She won't face this outcome if I take her." 
 "Are you sure we can transport her?" 
 "I'm positive. As I said, we have to be quick."  
 "I don't know about this," Jess states hesitantly.  
 "I say no, let the hospital do their job."  This is Brad. Yes, that's his voice, but who is the other guy? His voice isn't registering well. Is he further away from me?  
 "You're trusting her here after what just happened?? You're not so bright, are you?" 
 "BRAD, NO!!" Lily shouts.  
 I hear scuffling and heavy footsteps.  What is going on?? This is so infuriating! My damn eyes need to open!  
 " Walk it off!" Lil yells like a drill sergeant. "Don’t you dare do this right over her!" There's more scuffling. It's going away from me, then the door slams. She puffs out air for a few seconds, then says, "we're trusting you to do better than these idiots. If you don't, I'll make your life a living hell." Lil summons a brutal tone with the last part. 
 "You have my word." 
 I still cannot detect the voice...or make sense of what I'm hearing. I'm getting a headache. Good thing there's no more talking now. I must be back in the void; I believe it has to be Death Valley. My mind is eased, and my soul, or whatever I am right now, is tougher. My hearing is restored. A crashing sounds around me. Not a bad kind...a restful crashing.  I'm aware of my body; I’m in a bed again. I can flutter my eyelids with ease and part my lips. My fingers clutch at super soft sheets. Ones that are too luxurious for a hospital. It's what I would think satin would feel like.  
 
 
 
 Chapter 12: New World 
  I breathe effortlessly and feel sunlight beaming onto my eyelids. The baking sun is a blessing after being in that void. My temperature must have dropped. When I open my eyes, there, right before me, is the most dreamland view of the beach. The Pacific Ocean thrashing on glowing sand in the most picture perfect motion. I sit up in bed. The wind brushes my hair back in a gush and blows white curtains. The cherry wood windows before me are massive and stretch the whole wall.  I'm in a room...not a hospital. This is a house.  I examine the sitting chairs in the corners, bookcases, and a flatscreen tv well over 90 inches. Two nightstands are beside me. I lay in a California king sized bed. I'm covered in pure white sheets and have a standing monitor nearby with multiple bags of fluids. My arm has three IVs plugged into it.  
 Tropical portraits hang on cream walls, and the blackest wood floors span at least 100 feet.  This room is gigantic! Too humongous to belong to someone in my class. This is a rich person's home. I only know one person who could own such a place. The ponies in the hospital room and the fancy card point to this being Jace Harrison's estate.   That was him asking to take me away. But why? What happened?!  The ocean's wind whips wildly now and tussles my hair over my head. I gather it and tie it to the back while the gushes of air continue. A jumbo, two sided wood door opens from my right. A woman in a maid outfit smiles at me. "Hello, Ms. Hart." She greets me so formally that I feel more important than I am. The maid pushes in a tray of breakfast food. Gourmet food by the quality of the texture and bright color. French toast, blueberries, oatmeal, and waffles. "What are you in the mood for?" 
 "Oh...umm. French toast and oatmeal. Thank you."  
 "You're welcome, Ms. Hart." The woman fixes my plate while handing me a cup of orange juice. "Are you comfortable? Need any adjustments?" 
 "No, I'm okay, thank you." I slowly sip the juice.  
 "Are you sure?" She rests the plate on my lap. 
 "Yes." 
 "I'm just making sure Mr. Harrison's orders are followed. You're allowed anything you ask for, even if it's an errand." 
 I scoop a spoon into the oatmeal. "He said that?" I peer up at her. 
 "Yes." 
 "Well...he shouldn't have." I retort, irritated. "I don't have to be waited on hand and foot. Once I'm better, I won't be an issue for you.” 
 "Oh, it's no issue at all. It's my job and I enjoy it." The woman gives me a napkin. "If there's anything you need, just ring that bell." She gestures to the device that's on the nightstand.  
 "How long have I been here?" 
 "3 days." 
 "3 days??” I repeat, flabbergasted. “But...wasn't I just at the hospital last night?" 
 "No, you were here, miss." 
 "That doesn't seem right. Where did the time go?" 
 "You were in a temporary coma."  
 I squeeze the metal spoon I hold so hard that it imprints my palm. "COMA??" I stammer and react frightfully. The world comes crashing before me and muddles my head. “I WAS IN A COMA???” 
 "Yes." 
 "How?!” The metal spoon cuts into my palm now.” 
 The lady comes to loosen it and pats my hand comfortingly.”You’re all better now…there’s no need to work up your anxiety.” Her kind voice persuades me to unclench my hand. 
 “I don’t understand what happened? How?” I breathe roughly. 
 "I'm not informed on the manner. All I know is that you’ve improved. You could ask Mr. Harrison for more details once he arrives home. The Strygent Expo will conclude in 2 hours. Would you like to tune in to the event?" 
 I stare blankly at the tv and answer with a flat tone. "Sure..." The maid uses a remote to turn on the flatscreen and press numbers for a channel. "Is there a phone I could use? I need to make some calls." 
 "Of course, I'll be back in a jiffy." She heads to the door.  
 "Hold the mix,"  I comment. The funny side of my mind comes to help me as a coping mechanism.  
 The lady is lost at my words until it clicks in her mind. "Oh, haha, funny!" She laughs, holding her belly. "I'm glad you have a sense of humor; it helps with healing." 
 "I hope so." I huff longingly.  
 "It will." The maid departs into a luxurious hallway with high crown molding and classy wallpaper. I eat a little of the oatmeal and take a few bites of the waffle. I lose my appetite fast and lay my head in my hands. "I was in a coma?!" I freak out. "What?! Oh my god?!” 
 When footsteps approach, I break from the dismal position and gaze at the door. "Which would you perfect?" She shows me a big case of new, unboxed phones. iPhones, Galaxies, and BlackBerrys. There is at least 15 inside.  
 "Whoa! Why so many?!" 
 "Mr. Harrison has a tendency to drop his phone from his helicopter. It's a habit he can't break."  
 "No pun intended." I crack and grab an iPhone 13.  
 She giggles. "You're a blast, aren't you?" 
 "Mostly."  
 "It's nice to have some comedy around here." The maid rolls the tray out of the room and nods me farewell before closing it. I unbox the brand new phone and power it on. I fight the image of my old phone being snatched from my hand and hurled, but it wins.  Don't think about that.  I wag my head at the memory. When the phone boots up, I go to the WiFi settings and select the one labeled J.H. It occurs to me that I don't know the password. I peep at the door, then the bell on the table. Before I can even lean over to ring it, the password is shared with me.  Oh...huh? That's cool. The maid must have done that. I'd like to get her name instead of calling her the maid.  I debate who I should call.  Brad or Lily?   Hmm...Brad might still be mad...and I have to tell someone I'm at Jace's place. He would blow a gasket if I told him, so Lily it is. I'll call Brad after.  As soon as Lily picks up, I speak. "You wouldn't believe where I am right now!" 
 "A hospital…right?" 
 "No...I'm at Jace Harrison’s beach house." I state, awestruck. 
 "Like, an actual beach house?" 
 "Yes, I can show you." I switch the call to FaceTime and show her the huge windows and the sunny beach.  
 "Oh damn! That's not a house; that's a mansion, geez! Why did he take you there?" 
 "I'm as lost as you are. I thought I was at another hospital." 
 "I did too. Well, you sound much better." 
 "I feel better...normal." I flip the camera view to display my face and flash my teeth.  
 "Good. None of us need you screaming and fainting again. Jace included. I don't even know how he knew where you were. Or that you had gotten worse. He arrived like an hour after demanding your release." 
 "I heard some of the conversations…but not all of it. Tell me what went wrong?" 
 "You had bleeding on the brain for 7 hours without receiving medical attention. Your doctor assumed the heavy medications you were on were the cause. So we believed her and kind of cooled down some. Then Jace showed up with a team of doctors. They forced an immediate transport and a transfer of medical custody into their private board." 
 "Custody into what?" 
 "Girl, I don't even know. I didn't like how bad you got or how you went untreated for so long. Jace said your time was running out. I guess his doctors informed him. There were three of them, and they claimed to be the top in the state. I knew that meant better recourses for you. Brad didn't like how Jace came in and dominated things." 
 "That I recall." 
 "He tried to fight Jace. Me and Jessica stopped him and made him leave." 
 I hold my head. "This is all so crazy." 
 "It was...and scary as hell.” Lily's voice goes jumpy. “You wouldn't wake up after your head went berserk. I didn't like how limp you were...or that I couldn't get in the helicopter with you." Lil speaks with such despair; sentiment weighs on my heart from how heartbroken she sounds.  
 "Aww, I wish you could have. We can't be apart." 
 "I know, right? This distance is gonna lead to a curse or something." She laughs and sobs at the same time. "Text me the address so I can come see you." 
 "Umm...if I knew it, I would. I have no idea where I am."  
 "The place looks isolated. I didn't see any people out in the water." 
 "I'll ask the maid when she comes back." 
 "Geez, a maid?!" 
 "Yep...I feel like a celebrity." I chuckle. 
 "No...you're at a billionaire's house that's beyond celebrity level. How does it feel?" 
 "Like I'm in a staged house on a movie set." 
 "Hmm...typical rich shit, they can never live reasonably. If I had dough, I'd still be a cheapskate." 
 "Me too. Penny pinching is forever embedded in the lower class."  
 "I don't know. I think you broke the cycle. I mean, you're at Jace Harrison's house. There's something behind all of this." 
 "Maybe he's just being nice." 
 "Maddy..." Lil stretches out my name as if I’m being completely dumb. "There's something behind it...he wants you." 
 I snicker. "If he does, oh well. I'm not going for a playboy. Plus, I gave him nothing more than a few chats. This is just someone being hospitable." 
 "No. I think the wallet scheme I did got him into you." 
 "I'm with Brad, remember? And he's so far ahead of me with the relationship. He tried to tell me he loved me. I had to stop him." 
 "HE DID WHAT??!!l She bellows. 
 "You heard me right. Brad tried to say the L word. He said he believes in love at first sight. I love how invested he is and think this is finally my shot. So whatever is going on here regarding Jace can't go any further than a nice gesture. I'll thank Jace, then go to my boyfriend." 
 "Why would he say that?!" 
 "He was being honest." 
 "It's haven't even been two weeks of you two dating!" 
 "It is sudden…I hope that was just his nerves talking." 
 "Hopefully, it was. You two haven't even got real with each other yet. It's puppy dog love, that's all." 
 "It better be...because I'm nowhere near where he is. I don't want to lie and say I am out of pity." 
 "You two need a deep once everything is back to normal. How much longer are you staying there?" 
 "I have to ask. The host isn't here; I have to wait until he gets home." 
 "Where is he?" 
 I flip the camera around again. "He's on tv...at an expo." On the tv, an arena of people applauds something labeled as a sea-pactor. It's some sort of long tube machine, like a vacuum but larger and self moving. Jace rocks a navy suit jacket and pants with a black turtle neck. He’s on a futuristic, all white stage. His black hair is neatly tamed atop his head.  Even through the tv screen, his eyes are intoxicating.  Jace announces something about the machine, but the waves are too loud.  
 "What's he saying?" 
 "Umm..." I look around for the remote and spy it on the bookcase shelf. "The remote is all the way over there," I whine.  
 "Any other time that would be lazy, you have a pass." Lil's screen goes to a colorful box. "I'll check Twitter." 
 "With the name, it gotta have something to do with sea cleaning." 
 "You're right. The sea-pactor is a modified Roomba that will clean trash from the ocean on autopilot. The device is set to eliminate 13% of sea junk within the next five years. Okay…that's badass." 
 On the screen, the sea-pactor is lowered into a floor compartment. The audience claps. Jace stands on stage and soaks up the applause with much gratitude. His dazzling smile lights up the screen. The next product’s name displays on the screen before it’s lifted from the floor. Stryger 2022. This one is long and pretty tall and also covered up. "I need that remote." I glower at it from afar.  
 "No need. The showcase is listed online. The Stryger 2022 is a completely solar powered car. No gas, no electricity, no pollution. And no to that price, it's 112k. Somebody did not just say that's a good price. Let me be a troll real quick."  
 "Uh oh..." I giggle.  
 The door opens. The maid comes in with a tray of soup and crackers. "This will help with your iron levels. Although a blood transfusion replenished you, it wouldn't hurt to be cautious." 
 "Oh, thank you." I cringe at the plate of food I barely touched. "Sorry, I wasn’t hungry for breakfast." 
 "There's no need for apologies, Ms. Hart." 
 "I didn't get your name...and you can call me Madison. Ms. Hart makes me sound like a school teacher." 
 "First name basis it is. I'm Helen." I make out gray streaks in her brown hair. “Madison is a lovely name." Helen notes that the tv is drowned out by the beach. She goes to close the windows and swipes the curtains to the side. "Can you hear better now, or should I up the volume?" 
 I listen and hear the crowd cheering and Jace reporting on a sleek, muscle car, "the Stryger 2022 retails at $112k." 
 "Yes, I can hear now, thank you."  
 "Of course." Helen puts the bowl of soup and crackers on a saucer, then hands it to me. She rolls the tray out and shuts the door.   
 "This model is far more expensive, yes. Only because it lasts a month on sun power and only requires ten hours of daylight. Strygent strives..." The crowd laughs, and so does Jace. "On affordability and offers income restricted leases and various payments plans. It's not about a high price tag or isn’t just for those of those who have the glam life. Clean energy automobiles shouldn't alienate the classes of drivers. As one, we all have to improve the environment...divided, we will forever lose it." The jam-packed audience cheers.  
 "Okay, I take that back...it is affordable. Payment plans are as low as $700 a year. That's insane! I thought all rich people were money hungry. It takes a lot of guts to cut costs for a damn ego friendly car." She praises. "Especially one that looks like a Lamborghini. I could get one if I wanted. Now that's inclusion." 
 "This is is something." I agree with her, unable to hide my admiration. 
 "Do you think he's still just a playboy?" 
 "Yes, I do." I look into the camera and roll my eyes. "He might have a big heart that doesn't mean he treats women good. Last I checked, he's been with 33 women in 4 years. No telling how many before that." 
 "Probably over a hundred...he's a real life Tony Stark, minus the superhero bit. Meaning he's a genius slut." 
 "Definitely."  
 "Brad just texted me for an update; you should call him." 
 "Yeah, I think he should level headed now. I'll text later." 
 "Alright, bye, babe." 
 "Bye." I crumble saltine crackers into the soul while simultaneously dialing my boyfriend. I scoop about five spoon fulls into my mouth and chew. Then wait for a pickup.  
 "Maddy?" Brad is uncertain that it's me. 
 "Yeah, it's me. Hi." 
 "You got a new phone?" 
 "Not really, more like borrowed one. I missed you." I cheese. 
 "Your mood is better. Where are you? I need to see you." 
 I scratch the back of my head. "Promise you won't get mad." 
 "Why would I?" 
 "Just promise, please?" I plead. 
 The line is quiet for a few seconds. I almost wonder if the connection broke. I read the screen to make sure the call is still live. "Okay, I promise."  
 I try to say where I am, but my mouth keeps starting and then stopping.  He's going to lose it. It's been peaceful...my first peaceful day since the accident, honestly. I already mentioned it, so I can't withdraw.  My sight lands on the closed windows and the remarkable ocean view. I force myself to say, "I'm at Jace Harrison's house. I didn't know I would be. I heard the debate you all had at the hospital and thought I was being sent to another one." 
 "You're where??!!" Brad hollers. 
 "Please don't yell." I close my eyes. 
 "Why are you at his place?!" He ignores my request and shouts. 
 “I guess his doctors are here, so I am.” 
 “That doesn’t add up.” 
 “Why? I’m telling you the truth!” I raise my voice. 
 "Is there something you need to tell me?!" 
 I rub at my temple and huff. "No…drop it." 
 "How do you know each other?!" 
 "There's nothing going on. He's just another rich customer from the country club." 
 "I'm not buying that! The guy had a dick measuring contest at the hospital, ordered to take you away, and now you're at his house! This isn't adding up. You need to tell me the truth!" 
 I glare at the phone. "I just told!"  
 "I don't think you did…" He hisses. 
 "I just told you I didn't know I would be here; you're not listening to me."  
 "Because you’re lying. I know who this Jace guy is and know his reputation. He isn't doing this out of the goddess of his heart! No one gives without getting something in return!" 
 I laugh hysterically. "Are you implying that I'm one of his side pieces??!" My hand quakes so bad that the phone I hold vibrates. "I don't have time for this. You just ruined my day. I hope you're happy!" I end the call and throw the phone towards the end of the bed.  I can't believe he would accuse me of cheating! Brad didn't even hear me out.  My blood boils, and my nostrils flare. I have the urge to slap him. The strongest loathing I've ever felt overrides my soul.  I never thought I would say this...I hate him! 
 
 
 
 Chapter 13: Frustration 
  The expo is background noise now.  I don't care about the revolutionary machinery anymore. I don't care to even enjoy Jace on the screen. That call ended all my interest.  I focus on my hands and channel all the anger surging within me.  How could he be so dumb? I'm seeing him and no one else. How could he be that mean to me?? I thought he would understand...but he made his own narrative. I hate him! Why would he think that low of me? Why would he hurt me like that? If he loves me...he needs to act like it.  I brood until the sunsets. The strawberry orange sky and the patchy clouds sway slowly, and the muffled ocean thrashes. The captivating scenery removes me from reality and into a wonderland. The house...well mansion, is high off the ground. It overlooks the beach. I strain my neck as far as I can to see how low it drops down. I'm unable to see past a wrap around deck.  
 There's a recap of all of the expo announcements on the TV. There were 25 in total, and each is on a ranked list. "Now, the sea-pactor has to go as number one on the list as groundbreaking, but there are some doozies." A broadcaster laughs harshly. "The pfilter is, of course, last on the list. It has a horrible design, way too bulky, and will affect the environment worse than normal plastic." The guy gets riled up about this. "But, let me not get ahead of myself. The ranking will continue right after these sponsored messages." A Tesla commercial plays on the screen. The room's door pulls inward. Helen comes in with dinner. Spaghetti, cheesy Broccoli, steak, and a slice of freshly baked bread. She sets up a dinner tray across my lap. When the food is placed atop it, she asks, "Would you care for a drink?" 
 "Yes, I could use some wine." I give a half smile. 
 "Mr. Harrison will be in shortly."  
 When she exits, I put my hair down, swoop it behind my shoulders and go on to tend to my face. There's not much I can do since there are no face wipes. I rub my eye area in case there's eye crust, then use a napkin to pat my face. I sigh.  There's nothing much I can do to my face with these bandages.  I do a breath smell check.  I'm good . The sound of footsteps from the hall sends my nerves into a spiral. I breathe heavier now, My eyes watch the door apprehensively, and my heart hums like a trapped bird.  
 "Thank you, Helen." I hear Jace say from outside the door. I twiddle my thumbs hastily and adjust my hair again before picking up a fork. The sound of the swinging door intimidates me. I keep my eyes on the plate of food. As for my breathing, I try to control it, but the monitor plays the culprit. Its high tone echoes the room. "I thought you were getting better?" His dress shoes tap the floor as he stands before the bed.  
 I glance at him for less than a second; his concerned voice matches his expression. "I am." 
 "The monitor says different. I'll call my doctors." 
 "No, I'm okay." I hold eye contact with him. Jace's emerald eyes blink once; he has two glasses of wine. "I'm just not sure what happened, that's all." I labor my breathing to tame the monitor. 
 Jace goes to sit the glasses on the bookshelf. "I'll explain everything." He takes off his navy blazer and drapes it across a chair. His adam's apple flexes through the cloth of his turtleneck. Jace sits in the chair, legs apart and shoulders forward. His hands clasped in front of him. "Your doctor misdiagnosed your head injury as a medication reaction. There was internal bleeding of your brain. Bleeding that was present prior to your coma."  
 I gaze into his aesthetic eyes."Did my doctor call you and tell you that?" 
 "No, I have an informant."  
 "Which is just a fancy name for a spy." 
 "It is." His deep, seamless voice agrees. "This person kept me aware of your condition and delivered the flowers. Did you like them?" 
 "I don't understand why you'd have someone spy on me." 
 "Is it truly spying if the other is worried?" The tenderness of his tone befuddles me. 
 "It is," I reply boldly.  
 Jace sits back in the chair and crosses his leg. This position is so picturesque like he's posing for a modeling shoot. "The hospital's imaging scans failed to detect the inner bleeding. This was either due to negligence or out of code tech. My investigators will determine the truth by the end of the month. You almost died, Madison. Thank God my medical team is highly ranked because you were close. Our next chat would have been dull. I like your zing too much for the outcome." 
 I scoff and stare down at my plate. "Any more questions?" 
 "The tip you left me. What did it mean?" I poke the fork into the cheesy broccoli. 
 "What do you think it meant?" He asks earnestly. 
 "I'm not sure." 
 "You must have a theory..." 
 "I think..." I play with my food like a little kid. "I think it meant something other than a tip." 
 "Like what?" Jace's stare incinerates my skin from afar. I avoid looking at him and decide to glue my sight to the plate of food. I eat some of the broccoli. "Madison?"  
 "You know what I'm hinting at...I don't need to say it." I reply through chews.  
 "You think it meant something sexual?" My cheeks flame. "Look at me." He commands in a low tone. When I don't obey, he leaves the chair and strolls over to me. I force my sight to stay on the plate and disregard him beside the bed. In my peripheral view, his belt is leveled with my face. His monstrous, unbelievable lower half enraptures my mind. Jace digs a hand into the mattress to support his weight. He leans towards me. He uses the other to twist my face his way and up. "You don't listen." He puffs through his nostrils. "The tip was for our good conversation. If I wanted sex, I would've got it."  
 "Someone's conceited." 
 "I prefer the word assertive."  
 I give a brief laugh. "What makes you so sure I'm that easy?" 
 "Because you're the one making things sexual." His large, hot hand withdraws from my face. I battle my lids from drooping sensually but fail. Jace grins at my yearning. "And you still are." He whispers. "I wouldn't want you bedridden longer than needed." He straightens his posture. "Eat." 
 I drop my fork to defy him; I'm sure to be sassy with it. "No." 
 Jace examines my lips and then my eyes in a playful manner. "I'm glad you're not lifeless. You were worth the trouble I went through. Are you single?" 
 "I have a boyfriend." 
 "Let me guess...that boy from the hospital?" 
 "His name is Brad." I correct.  
 "No, I used the right term. A man has self control, not blind rage." 
 I look him up and down with a glower. "As if you never lost your temper, don't glorify yourself."  
 "In my teen years, yes...as an adult, no. In my line of work, willpower is key. There's nothing I can't endure." 
 "Wow...your ego is inflated." I shake my head and snicker. "I feel bad for you." 
 "Or...maybe you haven't met a real man." Jace simpers. I watch him walk to snatch his blazer. He swings it around and slips his arms back into it. "You'll be here until my doctors clear a discharge. If there are any errands you require, tell Helen. She'll inform my assistant." The billionaire brings my glass of wine to the nightstand and then steps towards the door with his. "Goodnight, darling." 
 I'm too crossed to respond and gape at the door once he's gone.  Jace has no clue what he's talking about. He doesn't know Brad...or who I haven't met. This is what I meant about him being un-relatable. His wealth has him too arrogant and self centered.  I scowl at the wood door .  I finish the plate of food by the time the sun is engulfed by the horizon. The ceiling light automatically whirls on by themselves; I guess they are solar based. The bulbs are golden in tint and broader than a foot’s length. I move my plate to a nightstand and grab the wine.  A text jingles from the new phone.  
 
 
 Lil: You still okay? 
 
 
 
 
 I sip while typing: yeah  
 
 
 
 
 Lil: Have you talked to Jace yet?  
 
 
 
 
 Me: Yeah 
 
 
 
 
 Lil: And?  
 
 
 
 
 Me: He explained everything  
 
 
 
 
 Lil: How did he know about your condition? Is he actually Tony Stark?? 
 
 
 
 
 Me: Lol 
 
 
 
 
 He said his informant told him. 
 
 
 
 
 Lil: Informant?? Wth! Do they work at the hospital?? 
 
 
 
 
 Me: Probably...idk 
 
 
 
 
 Lil: Why go that far, though?  
 
 
 
 
 Me: To show off his power. 
 
 
 
 
 Lil: Idk...you're alive cus of him; that's more than a power play. 
 
 
 Me: Oh, and the $500 mystery is solved. He said it was for our good  conversation, not sex.  
 
 
 Lil: hmmm... 
 
 
 
 
 Me: What? 
 
 
 
 
 Lil: I'm trying to figure him out. Has he tried anything? 
 
 
 
 
 Me: no 
 
 
 
 
 Lil: Did he flirt with you? 
 
 
 
 
 Me: A little. 
 
 
 
 
 Lil: Did he show any concern? 
 
 
 I look to the side anxiously.  If I answer honestly, I'll never hear the end of her trying to match me with him. I'm with Brad and would rather date a humbled guy than a smug one .  Me: no  I drink a big swig of the wine.  
 
 
 Lil: That's odd...considering how much he did for you. 
 
 
 
 
 Me: it's just a favor. 
 
 
 
 
 Lil: yeah... 
 
 
 the biggest favor in the world. Did you thank him? 
 
 
 
 
 Me: I forgot to 
 
 
 
 
 Lil: Well, you better next time. I threatened him if he didn't save you lmao 
 
 
  so make it a double thanks  
 
 
 
 
 Me: Will do.  
 
 
 
 
 Lil: Text me the address. 
 
 
 
 
 Me: Crap : 
 
 
  I forgot that too. I'll ask in the morning. 
 
 
 
 
 Lil: Alright 
 
 
 
 
 Me: I'm gonna head to bed; it's been a long day :( 
 
 
 
 
 Lil: It has <3 
 
 
  ttyl  
 
 
 
 
 Me: <3 <3 
 
 
 In the morning, I wake up to three doctors working around me. One refills the IV fluid, the other analyzes my vitals on the monitor, and the third replaces bandages on my leg. The spots of red on the big bandaids churn my stomach. "Oh, good morning, Ms. Hart." The one patching my leg, a woman, says. "Welcome to day 5; your wounds are in the first stage of restructuring." The lady tears apart a new sticky covering and peels another from my leg. "There's no infection so far. Are you feverish at all?" 
 "No." I watch her press the bandage onto my skin and then look at the other docs, who type on tablets. "Thank you all for everything." My groggy voice is sentimental. "You all really are miracle workers." 
 "You're welcome." The two men say, briefly glance from their tablets before returning to log info. 
 "Thank you." The woman replies gratefully. "If only that could be said about the last doctor." 
 "Sometimes, the wrong calls are made. Even the best of us can accidentally choose a grave mistake." One of the men chimes in. 
 "True." The woman goes on adding bandaids. "That's why it's best to have a team. You're lucky, Miss. Most people have no choice...and no group usually to come to the rescue." 
 Helen comes through the door with a single plate and a cup of orange juice. "Hello, all!" She says cheerfully and walks to me. "I decided to go lighter since your appetite is low." On the plate, there's toasted wheat bread, topped with a flattened egg, diced strawberries, and kiwi. The different pops of color on the saucer are so perfect that I don't want to ruin the art. She rests it on my lap and sets the glass on the nightstand. 
 "Thank you." I pick up the toast and take a huge chunk.  I haven't had anything to eat in 5 days. I'm surviving off fluids. I need to start back eating for strength. Will I even be able to walk??  "Excuse me, doctor?" I address the woman, who begins on my other leg. "Am I able to walk?" 
 "Yes...although it will be painful. Your skin is tightening and is less elastic, so it'll feel like ripping stitches. I'd suggest a wheelchair for now. No more than three more days to get your muscles close to normal." 
 "Would you like a tour of the estate?" Helen says chipperly. "You must be sick of being in bed." 
 "That'll be nice."  It would be good to leave the bed and be in motion. I'm forgetting how mobility feels. I could also find Jace to thank him. Today is a day of gratitude. I also need to get the address. I need my Lily and my boyfriend. Sleeping on the argument we had yesterday gave me a clearer understanding of his blow up. I am at another man's place...and Brad and I are dating. He mentioned me leaving him before, he didn't like it. Brad even hinted at dying if he lost me. He's scared of losing me. I think he does love me, after all. I won't dismiss how he accused me, though. 
 After downing the breakfast, the three doctors escort me from the bed to a wheelchair. I'm made aware of what the doctor meant by the elasticity of my muscles. The connective threads of my skin seem to rip just from the slight movements I make. I help out with my body weight and lift my waist, so I'm not a burden. I end up hissing through my teeth and whimpering. Helen steers me from the spacious room into a hallway that's twice as huge. "That little pain will be worth the view, trust me." 
 We pass door after door in the corridor. I count twelve and peep behind my shoulder to see that there are even more rooms.  This place is loaded!  The artwork on the walls is black and gray and tremendous.  I've never seen wall portraits that were larger than my body.  When we reach the end of the hall, I gawk. There are no walls; windows replace them. Elegantly framed windows elongated the rest of the house. The sun's rays in heavenly, and the beach below is pale from the daylight. The water shimmers. The furniture in here, a sitting area, is triple sized, twenty people could fit into the chairs easily. There's an ottoman that I thought was a table. In each corner, rest high vases of tropical red flowers. The deep chocolate wood floors are double planked and solid. The cherry wood deck outside shines. Down the way is another lengthy hall, and to the side is a vast spiral staircase. 
 The wheelchair passes it. I snoop to see what's down there. About fifty feet below us, a circular foyer with a white grand piano centered on a rug is the only thing there. "Told you so." Helen laughs." 
 "How can someone live here?" She giggles at my astonishment. 
 "Would you like to visit the rec room?" 
 "Rec room?" 
 "A gaming center." She clarifies. 
 "Yes!" I exclaim with childish enthusiasm. 
 The rec room is similar to a game lounge at a mall and has its own zip code. I browse the arcade gaming machines. Most of them are vintage from the '90s. Street Fighter, Donkey Kong, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle. Mortal Kombat. And endless rows of others. I point to Mortal Kombat, thinking of Brad. Helen wheels me in front of it. "Ummm...how do you...?" She powers it on for me using a switch on the side. "I'm young; forgive me." I crack. 
 "You're forgiven." 
 "Is the host in today?" I hold the joysticks and hit the buttons atop each. The menu's animation has low quality graphics and loud music. 
 "Yes, Mr. Harrison is in conferences until 5pm, then is off to Strygent Factories afterward. Is there anything you need?" 
 "I haven't thanked him for all of this." 
 "I can relay the message before his helicopter ride." 
 "Also...where am I?" I chuckle and scratch the back of my head. 
 "Del Mar, California." 
 "Oh." I press a button to select a fighter. "Could I have the address? I'd like my friends to know where I am." 
 "Certainly. 2932 Camino. Your people could be brought here if you'd like." 
 I select the player Sonya. "Yes, I would like that." 
 "I'll get that handled." Helen leaves me. 
 I press and swing the joysticks randomly to fight the skilled computer. Sub Zero is my competitor, and he wipes the ground with me with his ice daggers. I lose the first round. The beginning of the second is no different. I'm freezed and slaughtered to the point that I give up. The iPhone I borrowed is in the cupholder. I retrieve it. On the screen is a text from  Brad: I'm sorry.    I swipe up to unlock it and  text: We need to talk.  I attempt to row myself forward to find another game. I suffer greatly. "Oooo, ouch!" My arms tremor and ache, and the underlayer of the wounds roast like a bonfire. I put them on my lap and watch a text bubble load. 
 
 
 Brad: Okay, what is it? 
 
 
 
 
 Me: About yesterday...call me. 
 
 
 Five seconds later, I get a call and accept it. "Hi, sweetie. I'm sorry, I didn't mean what I said. I was just mad." Brad shamefully admits. 
 "You still said it." 
 "I know." 
 " I didn't like how you talked to me. You didn't have to yell." I rebuke. 
 "I know..." He says with regret. 
 "Why would you assume I would lie?" I feel no compassion for his remorse and go on scolding. 
 "I was angry at Jace, not you. I didn't mean to attack you." 
 "That doesn't make it go away, you know? You hurt me. I'm not doing anything with Jace; I'm with you." 
 "I'm sorry...I hulked out. I should've believed you." He strains his voice. "Forgive me. I won't do that again. I just don't like losing you. I don't like when you're gone. When you passed out like that, I thought you were dead. Then when you were stable, that asshole took you from me. That was the second time I couldn't help you... the second time I couldn't have you." I hear the tears in his tone and alleviate my outrage. "I love you." My heart melts. I stop breathing and shut my eyes to soak up the sincere words.  I want to say it back...but my meaning would be different. I'll be lying. He's so close to the finish line, and I'm lagging behind. Why am I not there with him??  "Maddy, say something." 
 Oh no....what do I say??  My entire body rushes with shock. The veins of my body go cold. My pulse is abrupt, and my throat turns to sandpaper. "Madison." I hear two voices at once. I l believe I'm hallucinating until the tapping of shoes certifies I'm not. Jace was the other voice. He steps to my arcade game and stands beside it in a loosely button dress shirt. I don't respond. It's evident that he reads my uncomfortable expression. His glorious eyes lower to the phone in annoyance. When he slips it from my hand, I'm too late to steal it back. I try to speak, but my mouth puts out soundless symbols. 
 "Hello, who is this?" I hear chattering but can't decipher the meaning. "Well, she's in no condition for over excitement, Brad." 
 "Give it back..." I barely whisper the demand. 
 Jace studies me for a moment, then says. "I'm glad we're in agreement." There's more chattering from the earpiece. "Well...it is my phone she's using. I can take it whenever." 
 "Give it back!" I manage to bark. I whip my hand towards the phone to yank it, but Jace is sly, avoiding the attempt. 
 "Before I do...I'd like to inform you and her friends about your ride here. There's a jet awaiting your departure at Strygent Lines, a private airport. I'll send the code for entry. Will any of you need transportation?" Brad's voice rises. I hear the word no and something else. "Very well, I accept your decline." 
 "Give it back!" I boil. 
 Jace's cocksure expression is maddening. He listens to Brad for a few seconds, then paces towards me. "Hopefully, your car arrives in thirty minutes ...I doubt it's a Drako." He sneers and returns the phone to me. 
 I snatch it from him with much attitude. "Brad?" 
 "Why do you have his phone?" 
 "Mines got totaled. I told you I borrowed one." 
 "You didn't say it was his!" 
 "It is, but it's not. It's new. This isn't his personal cell." I viciously scowl at Jace, who is entertained. 
 "I'll be there soon. You're not staying!" His tone is fierce. 
 "Just relax. I need to stay. The doctors haven't cleared me." 
 "I can take you to another hospital." 
 "Don't be ridiculous." I sigh. "Just get here, okay? I miss you." 
 He forcefully breathes in and out. "Say it again so he can hear." 
 "Really?" 
 "Yes, really." 
 All of a sudden, Jace's presence in the room is heightened. "I miss you." I nearly cringe at repeating the romantic words in front of him.  I figure this makes up for going silent when he confessed. 
 "I'll be there soon." 
 "Okay, bye." 
 "Bye baby." 
 I hang up and grimace at Jace. "You didn't have to do that! That was out of line!" 
 "I couldn't resist...your boyfriend is so easily tested." 
 "Aren't you supposed to be at a conference??" I growl. 
 "I am...I just wanted to hear you thank me." 
 My frown deepens, and my eyes flicker icily. "You won't get that after what you just did." 
 "What I just did?" He snickers. "All I did was update your lover." 
 "Don't play dumb." I peel my snake eyes from him and down to the phone. "If you were trying to prove a point, it worked against you. That was childish." 
 "Was it?" 
 "Yes." 
 "I thought you'd pick up on temperaments and understand what I meant about self control." 
 "That was the opposite of control. You poked; of course, that'll make someone respond rashly." 
 He nods to the side. "Or it'll reveal their maturity." Jace places his hands into his trousers and treads to the door.  
 
 
 
 Chapter 14: Sweet & Sour 
   The fucking asshole! Why does he keep commenting on my boyfriend's temper? He can't possibly be that well collected. No one is invincible. I hate Jace and can't wait to get away from him. I wanted to slap Brad, but I wish to do worse to him. Jace deserves a kick in the balls. The billionaire stigma is true...they're too pompous for their own good. Did he really leave a meeting just to hear me thank him? That's insane. I guess the rich are crazy too. The only glimpse I've ever gotten from the lot was that they were posh and expensive; now, I can add excessive and mental to the list.  
 Helen returns to the rec room. "Where would you like to go next?" 
 "Outside, I need to get some air." 
 She detects my aggravation. "Oh, dear." Helen twirls the chair towards the door. "He must have said something to upset you." 
 "More like did something to purposely annoy me." 
 "Mr. Harrison has that tendency; it's best to deny him the energy." 
 "That only enables him to continue." 
 "It does..." The chair's wheels rotate on the blackish floors. "But it's a successful deterrent." I'm taken back to the sitting room and to a sliding door indistinguishable from the windows. There's little wind, a light breeze, and a calm sea streams the sunny day. The soundscape is better than any ASMR I've listened to. The deck is the car's width and as long as a track curling around the mansion. There are no other houses around. This place is the only occupant of the beachfront.  
 "There are no neighbors?" I look left to right in search of another structure. 
 "No, they were bought out, and their estates were demolished. Most of them moved to Dubai." 
 "That's an upgrade." 
 Helen guides me down the tall deck. I'm about to see how far it drops. My estimate is thirty feet. Once around the bend, the true girth of the estate is revealed. The place is about a block long and has an edgy, curved shape.  
 "Are there any errands you need?" 
 "None that I can think of." I look away from the extravagant surroundings and to her. "Tell me more about you. How long have you worked here?" 
 "Going on 15 years."  
 "Have you ever wanted to sucker punch Jace?"  
 Helen sniggers. "A few times in the beginning years. But he's less irking now, and I guess it's my age." 
 "So he respects elders? That's surprising. Especially how he is with women." 
 "I'm not proud of his appetite. Or how he treats a fresh face. When the assistant was hired, I knew she'd be one of his tallies." 
 "That's sad...I feel bad for any woman in his vicinity. Even you, he probably has no boundaries." 
 "I assure you if Mr. Harrison passed a hit at me, I wouldn't be here. I'd be loaded from a lawsuit and sipping tea in Hawaii. Jace prefers girls around your age; that's why he's getting under your skin. He's interested." 
 "That's a one sided interest." 
 "You're smart to deny him. It's not worth being in the spotlight as another fling on his list. You can do much better." 
 "I can...and I am. I have a boyfriend who's the total opposite." 
 "Good, keep to that...don't get tempted by all of this glamor. That's how the other women were railed in. The spotlight and the luxury, the fast love." 
 "Oh, I won't. I'm just admiring." 
 "Are you doing the same with Jace's looks? Because that's the main pull." I gaze at the beach and go mute for longer than five seconds. I can feel her eyes surveilling me. "Yes...that will be hard to knock."  
 I silently agree with her.  His beauty and his body will be hard to fend off. There's a reason I spied on him for a year. Jace is the most unbelievable being I've ever seen. As much as I hate him right now, I can't deny that fact. I still I'm below standards for him. Then again, I'm at his place...and he was worried about me. Could this be more than his usual flirting? That's what I think it is. Should I be a fool to consider that it's more? Will these eyes and this heart that were spelled by his presence influence my intelligence? Jace isn't made for me...or meant for me. He's not the marrying type. He's a quick hit, if anything. Why am I even thinking this? I need to get him out of my head. 
 I text Brad about his ETA and think about Lily and Jess. The people that I need to ponder about.  He did ask if I was single. Why...? No, no, Maddy, stop! Jace is a stuck up whore. A demeaning slime ball. The complete meaning of a used condom. The definition of damaged goods. Delicious, irresistible damaged goods. I wonder how his large lips would feel on mine.  My mind begins to visualize this act. To daydream Jace's lips inches from mine.  
 NO, MADDY! STOP!!  I message Brad again to murder the corrupted thoughts floating my brain.  Me: <3  Then I hit up Lil : Are you guys on the way? 
 
 
 Lil: We're at the airport gate. What's up with Brad? He's off. 
 
 
 
 
 Me: Off how? 
 
 
 
 
 Lil: His anger is outside his body... 
 
 
  Did something happen? 
 
 
 
 
 Me: Jace happened  
 
 
 
 
 Lil:  
 
 
 spill 
 
 
 
 
 Me: They argued  
 
 
 
 
 Lil: about? 
 
 
 
 
 Me: Isn't it obvious?? 
 
 
 Lil: About you?  I thumbs up the text.  Lil: You're telling me everything once I get there! 
 I remain on the deck by myself. Helen slipped away without me noticing. She's probably doing some cleaning. I juggle the idea of both Brad and Jace to work out why I would imagine kissing Jace.  I'm happy with Brad. I love how he feels and how much affection he displays. But Jace has done this too. He had me airlifted and chose to prolong my life. That's affection. Then the distress he expressed for me. The concern.  
 No, it can't be that...I won't let it be. The billionaire will not take hold of me. He's too different than I am, not just money wise but personality wise. I'm not a spoiled asshole. Is he a complete asshole, though?  A voice from the back of my head contends.  All of this he's done for me gives him some good qualities. Would a complete prick have saved my life??  My sight plants onto the sand which creates dust with each wind gust. The muffling noise of the sea is hectic now, just the same as my mind.  
 The silhouette of a jet comes from the east. I break my glance to watch the aircraft near. There's a bittersweetness to the arrival of my clan.  I missed them, but I know more drama is to come. Brad won't control his impulses...he is a loose cannon. And me telling Lil about their argument will make me question everything. It'll make me wonder if I'm still hooked on Jace.  The white jet lowers and shifts its nose my way. For a second, I'm scared and believe it's malfunctioning when it silently soars in my direction—the sleek craft lands below the deck. I wish I could stand to see where exactly.  Is there a concreted pad below for it?  The sound of something similar to garage doors opening answers this.  
 " Your guests have arrived." I whip my head around to Jace, who I didn't hear. I didn't hear his footsteps...maybe the waves and my thoughts made me deaf. "Don't worry. I won't offend your guy again. I'll be elsewhere." He speaks genuinely. "Helen is finishing up the guest rooms; your friends can stay as long as you'd like." 
 The delicacy of his voice astounds me so much that I blink in misunderstanding. "Thank you," I whisper softly.  
 "You're welcome, Madison." He says lowly and shares a kind gaze. "Have a wonderful night." Jace's olive eyes stay on mine for a few seconds longer. I feel he wants to say something else yet doesn't. When he walks back around the looped deck, my lashes flutter.  What was he going to say? I wish to yell this but know my voice will be drowned by the ocean. And I know it will be the wrong thing to do. I'm with Brad.  
 Helen escorts me back to the grand room. As soon as Lil sees me, she jumps from a chair and scurries over to help me. "It's nice that you're out of bed." Jess follows after her.  
 Brad is by the closed windows. He doesn't seem to register my entrance. My bestie glances at me, then at him. "See? He's being weird." She mutters.  
 The two help Helen hoist me into bed. Once I'm all settled, the maid looks over my friends. "What are you all in the mood for? The chef has endless recipes." 
 "Umm...something fancy. Surprise us." I respond. 
 "Will do." She leaves the room, closing the double doors behind her.  
 The jet lifts past the window like a huge ninja bug. It's obvious that Jace can see us from the inside, but we can't see him. The windows are tinted so black that they should be called dark ice. The shiny void of their glass is intense. I'm certain the pilot was ordered to fly closer to this room, so his king could make a dominant exit. We all watch the long cigar shaped jet turn its backside to us and gradually work its wings to the tide line before blasting off. This time the engine shrieks like nails on a chalkboard and launches away.  He said he wouldn't offend Brad...yet he does this? I'm sure that's what he wanted to say on the deck. Jace wanted to imply that he would leave with style, I bet.  
 Brad studies the craft soar above the ocean before circling to the east. When it's past the viewpoint of the windows, that's when he turns around to me. His honey eyes are thick with hatred. "We're leaving in the morning." He announces harshly. 
 There's an awkward silence. Lil's eyes bounce between us. "We've been over this. Stop being so..." 
 "You need to fucking listen!" Brad yells. "I'm sick of your mouth!!" 
 I shut my trap...frightened of the sweltering rage in his shout.  Okay...this is a problem. I can't order him around right now. This isn't the Brad I know. It's someone riddled with hostility. Hostility that could easily change to violence. He's piping hot right now and too unpredictable. " Uh uh, no..." Lil starts. 
 "Don't push him," I warn her.  
 "No, he's not gonna talk to you like that. Maddy did nothing wrong. She didn't ask to be here. I called that shot. If you want to be pissed at someone, you need to direct it from her and to me!" Lil steps his way threateningly. "Go ahead, get it out. What's your issue??!" 
 "Alright, I will." Brad's tone is cold. "You should have never agreed...I blame you for complicating our relationship." 
 Lil laughs at him in a derogatory manner. "Wow...keep going. This is hilarious." 
 "You think it's funny that she's sleeping in another man's bed!" 
 "A guest bed...you need to chill out. Wow, dude. I heard you two had an argument. What was it about? Was it that bad??" 
 "Yes, it was. Jace acts like he owns her!!" He hollers.  
 "News flash...he doesn't! She's being cared for. If that means ownership to you, that's sad." 
 "Maddy would have been just as fine with me calling the shots." 
 "No, she wouldn't have." Lily scoffs. "Maybe you forgot because you spazzed out at the hospital. Maddy was dying. If she stayed like you wanted, my damn sister would be gone! There's no better outcome than this one. So man the hell up and get your fucking emotions under control!!" 
 Brad stomps towards her, I move my legs to the side to get up, and Jess balls her fists. Lil snatches a vase from an end table and holds it above her head. "Try it..." She eggs him on.  
 "Stop!" I shout, stuck in place because my legs are too wobbly to steer. The monitor picks up. Brad halts and stares at it; he's troubled by the speed. 
 "Yeah...look, what you're doing." Lil jerks her head to the monitor. "Is that helping your ego?"  
 "I'm sorry." He apologizes to me in a low tone.  
 "Just go take a walk, please." I meditate my breathing. "Could you do that for me?" 
 Brad nods once, then goes to the door to leave the room. Lil keeps the vase high and throws a dirty look which traces him like a robot. When he's out, and the door shuts, she drops the vase to her side. "What the fuck was that?"  
 I cover my face and huff. "I don't know..." 
 "That's unattractive; he's too big to have a fit like a toddler. Brad can't handle being outgunned by Jace, so he's taking it out on you. That's a red flag." 
 "He just needs time." Jess sympathizes. 
 "No, that was out of line." 
 "It was...but sometimes you do act crazy for the people you love." 
 "You're telling me if it was reversed, you'd do the same??" Lil bickers. 
 "Not to that extreme...but I would feel replaced," Jess explains wisely. "Jace is challenging Brad...that's why he's losing it." 
 I hear someone sit on the bed, but my palms shade out the figure. "You need to tell me about that argument," Lil demands. 
 I recap everything to her and Jessica. I decided to leave nothing out because I'm confused and could use some advice. I mention how much care Jace gave to me when I woke up. The close encounter. The attempt to hook up with me and how he took over the call between me and Brad. "Oh damn...he took the phone and said all that?!" Lil's mouth drops. 
 "Yeah, Jace started all of this." 
 "Why is he fucking with Brad? He can't possibly be bored." Jess shakes her head. 
 "Maybe he is..." 
 "That dude has a set schedule and toy factories...he's not bored." 
 "I agree...that's like saying he's lonely." Lil rolls her eyes. "Why did he come onto you knowing you have a boyfriend?" 
 "I don't know...I told him." 
 "That's weird..." Lil grimaces. 
 "Ummm...are we from the same planet?" Jesse double takes between us. "That's not weird; that’s hot. Who knew our girl would lure in a billionaire." 
 "More like her dream guy." 
 "He isn't my dream guy!" I snap. 
 "Babe...you eye stalked him for a year for a reason." 
 "I know what I want. It's not him!" I boil. "Brad is closer to my ideal guy...despite his temper." 
 "So...you're saying you love him?"  
 I stare at Lily, then at my hands. "I care about him." 
 "Do you love him?" Jess repeats Lil's question. "Because that hotheadedness he has proves he loves you." 
 "I think it's still puppy love." Lil disagrees. "She'd know if it was more."   
 "I just care about him...for now. I think it could lead to marriage down the line. Brad was perfect before Jace interfered. His behavior is temporary." 
 Helen pushes in a cart of four plates of ratatouille and wine. Lil gets up to help her pass out the plates. "I can help it...I'm a waitress." She cracks.  
 "It's in the DNA for us." Hel jokes. "Where has your other friend gone?" 
 "Oh, he'll be back soon. I'll hold his plate." I offer. Lil brings two plates my way. 
 "Doesn't she remind you of Joyce?" I start.  
 "Omg!" Lil gaze at her as if she's an exotic animal.  
 "Who's that?" Jess is lost. 
 "Someone who used to work at the club, she retired. I swear Joyce was a baker in her past life...or a florist. She had that kind of pleasant warmth." 
 Helen waves a hand. "Oh, you girls are too kind." 
 "You have to be her twin, separated at birth." I poke. "Where's your birth certificate? I need the proof." Lil hackles as she hands me two glasses of wine.  
 Helen giggles uncontrollably. "I haven't laughed so hard in so long!" She gives Jess the meal and drink. "I needed that." She continues the spurts of laughs on her way out. This time she doesn't close the door. I think we made her forget how to navigate her job.  
 "Well, she's a good audience." Lil points at the door and snorts. 
 "Yeah, she is." I smile and dig into the colorful veggie dish. It's sweet and spicy...and so moist. "Wow!" I stab a larger quantity into my fork and devour it. "Oh!" Lil and Jess taste the dish and share the same overwhelmed sound effects from their mouths. "This is heaven!" 
 "Try bomb as hell...I'm gonna need this recipe." Jess chews. Lil is too busy exclaiming over the explosive flavors in the meal to comment. 
 Brad knocks once on the opened door. We all look his way. His embarrassment is solid on his face. He stands in the doorway with his hands clasped together in front of him. My boyfriend's eyes are cautious and regretful now. I give a slight grin to him and hold up his plate of food.   Brad is ashamed of his actions...that's a good thing. He knows he was wrong. He can't snap at me like that.  As he circles around the bed, Lil surveys him; her defensiveness is back. I fit blame her. Brad did look like an abuser at that moment. When he sits, I hand him the plate. "All better now?" 
 "Yeah...sorry, I lost my shit." His low voice is feeble. Brad address this to the three of us. "I don't know why I did that. Can you guys forgive me?"  
 Lil lowers her eyes from his and contemplates his words while Jess nods. "We forgive you." 
 "Jace has been provoking you," I admit. 
 "He has. I just don't like you being here. I know we've been over this already. I don't like it."  
 "It's just 3 more days...you can stay the night. The bed is big enough." I flirt. 
 Lily ticks her tongue. "You're in no condition for foreplay." 
 I snort. "We're just going to cuddle...for real this time. Nothing else." I direct the last bit to Brad. 
 "Hmmm..." Her dark eyes probe me amusingly. "I don't put it past you." 
 "Pinky swear?" I jab my pinky her way; she accepts the truce. 
 When Helen comes to collect dining ware, she escorts Jess and Lil to their room. Brad lays back on the elevated bed. I do the same.  This is the first time I have shared a bed with a guy.  I revel in this new milestone I've unlocked. Our bodies are far away. Brad must be reluctant about hurting me while in this state of injury. I reach out to hold his hand. "Come. closer." I whisper. 
 "You pinky swore." He mummers back. "This is how it started last time."  
 "I'm incapable of doing anything." I snicker. "News flash, I'm not wearing the bandages for fashion."  
 "I'll take heed of what Lil said." 
 "Fine!" I pout. "I don't want to cuddle anyway." 
 Brad holds my other hand and softly massages both. His brown eyes have a depth so profound and a fondness so raw that I stop fussing to analyze it.  He's staring at me as if I'm the only thing in the world. Brad's terror of severing this connection is untested. It's a look my mom had whenever I got the flu as a kid. A glimpse of taboo...as if breaking eye contact would cause me to vanish from the world. It's misery and cherishing topped with a bond I don't think I'm ready for.  "I love you." He declares.  
 I have to respond.  "And I adore you." I cringe. "Sorry, that's the best I can do right now. Don't hate me."  
 "No...that's perfect. Better actually." His cushiony lips peck my hands. He tries to kiss my lips, but I cover them. "What?" 
 "No kissing...my lips need care. I'm sure they're chapped."  
 "I don't care." 
 "I haven't had a toothbrush." 
 "So?" Brad goes on being unbothered.  
 "But..." 
 "I'm forgetting how your lips feel." He slides my hands from over my mouth and dives into me. His lips are rough on mine. The stroking is heavy, and so are his breaths. I cup his face and reel him closer. Brad gets on his knees, puts one arm on each side of me, and angles his neck downward. Our mouths eat each other. I bite his bottom lip and gasp when he does the same. Brad's fingers work down my chin and underneath my neck.  
 When they glide down a bandage on my chest, I grab hold of his wrist. "Don't." 
 "I know, no sex." He kisses me quickly. "I need to touch you." 
 "Not while I'm like this." My voice is lifeless as I peer down at the sticky pouches covering most of my body. "I'm hideous." I sniffle. 
 "You" re not." 
 "I am." My eyes flood. 
 Brad smooches the bandages on my face, my chest, then the ones on my arms. "I'll do this all night to prove you wrong." I giggle and sob while he continues with the task. Every visible white strip on my body is pressed by his gentle lips more than once. I count three rounds before he comes back to make out aggressively. We sigh, grumble, inhale and exhale in unison until we're exhausted by the rigorous workout.  
 For the next two days, the four of us chill in the rec room playing games. Lily chose an alien game, Area 51. Jess dominates NBA Jam. I resort to the Simpson's since I'm familiar with it. I played the website version before. And Brad battles superheroes in Marvel Super Heros. Helen provides us with freshly baked pizza and steak fries. This is our routine for the first day. On the second day, we're made aware that there's a movie theater. To our disbelief, we find a fully stocked concession stand complete with fountains and two employees. The workers whip up nachos, hotdogs, popcorn, and slushies. Inside, the theater replicates an IMAX stadium in an AMC Showplace. It's double date suitable, so that's what we do. The theater is quiet. There's only the four of us in the whole place...and everything is free. Lil and her girl sneak to the back row to get busy while Brad and I swallow each other's tongues.  
 He's kissing me like his life depends on it . I like how heavy his skin is on mine. The sound of pleasure from the sex session in the back adds a porn soundtrack to our hot lips. Mines never moved so fast; even when I practiced kissing, it was always slow. Passionate, romantic, and long. I don't mind the enthusiasm that peddles the kissing into overdrive.  It's sexy.  The booming surround sound of an action movie tantalizes our hunger. An uproar of moans from the back of the room forces me to peer back. "Get it, bestie!" I catcall and outburst into laughs.  
 "I wanna hear you cry like that," Brad whispers into my ear, then clamps his teeth into it. I gasp. His tongue is like a sword down my neck and around my collarbone. He uses two fingers to twist my nipple through my hospital gown. I wail out and clench my teeth at the tender, protruding flesh he squeezes. I squeal and huff out air. Brad grunts against my ear. "Louder." The popping of guns and booming destroys the speakers around us. "I can barely hear you." Brad leans to suckle my other nipple through the fabric. He bites and stabs at it with his tongue while gripping and curling his fingers around the other. I yelp, whimper, groan, sigh, and gasp. This time, it's audible over the blasting speakers. 
 After the naughty deed, we go to a shopping center within the beach house. The storefronts consist of House Of Bijan, Louis Vuitton, Hermes, Gucci, Victoria's Secret, Dior, Hollister, Macy's, and H&M. "This guy is loaded!" Jess exclaims. 
  Brad, who is my wheelchair chauffeur, stops walking me ahead. I lean my head back to look at him. "What?" 
 "Let's go back to the room." 
 "We've been naughty enough. Don't you want to shop?" 
 "No." He answers bitterly.  
 "Please? I need the stress relief." 
 "I could help you out a bit more in the room." He kisses me.  
 "I want to shop," I whine. "Come on...you're my pusher, man." I sing the iconic drug song from the 70s. "Be my pusher, man." Brad chuckles and guides me forward.  
 Inside Victoria's Secret, Lily is chatting with a cashier with her card out and three bras on the counter. "Wait, that's insane!" Her eyes find me. "Maddy, we don't have to pay for anything!" 
 "Huh?" 
 "Tell her," Lil advises a tall woman at the counter. 
 She's super pretty and has a fantastic shape and boob job. "Since you're guests, you're excluded from paying for goods."  
 Jess nears the counter with heaps of lingerie and shapewear. "Join the shopping spree!" She sings.  
 Brad smiles ear to ear when I pick out a lacy bodice and hold it against my gown. "You like it?" 
 "Yeah...but the hospital gown is sexier. I think I'm into a patient fetish because of you." 
 "So..." I raise a brow. "Do you want me to get it or not?"  
 "I'll buy it for you." 
 "But it's free..." 
 "I'd rather not have this be a freebie from him. I'll pay." He settles in a rigid tone.  
 I suppress my attitude to avoid another controversy. "Okay."  
 I hate having to tiptoe...I'm used to having word battles without consequences. I don't like training myself to be tamed.  I compare this dilemma to what Jace had said about this.  I like how snappy you are. I like your zing. Was that true? Or would he get irked by my outspokenness after a while? Men prefer women to obey and listen...they're always going to demand and desire that. It gives them power. Still, I wonder if Jace is an exception. He did say he could endure anything. I haven't seen him since the deck chat. Where is he?  
 After hitting up Macy's and H&M for dresses, us girls have Brad carry our bags while we eat cotton candy. Back in the room, Brad drops my bags at the door and carries me to the bed. The teenage version of myself swoons and fantasizes this as a groom crossing the house's threshold with his bride in his arms. He lays me down carefully...and rests his arms beside me again. The white cotton candy stick I hold separates us. Brad bites into it and slurps. My eyes widen, and my lips part as the seductive noise from his mouth continues. He slurps on a mouth full now. The gulp he does finishes me down there. A squirt moistens my underwear."It's not sweeter than you." He mutters sensually, then tears a piece off and slips it between my lips. The fluffy treat evaporates on my heated tongue. 
 Brad watches it lubricate and groans when I swallow. He does an up and down pattern with his hand on my patched up leg. Again, I retrain his wrist and withdraw it from the bandages. "No...like I said, I'm hid-" 
 "Maddy, you're still sexy." 
 "You have to say that; you're my boyfriend."  
 "I mean it." 
 "I'm not sexy like this." I drop my tone to a bleak mutter.  
 "Do I have to kiss them again?" I stay mute and wipe at my eyes. He kisses my tears from my cheeks, then goes to kiss my feet and both my legs. The indentation of his mouth on the paddings is like a soothing massage. And is felt until I drift off.  
 
 I dream about the missing patches of skin from my body. I'm on the road in the void again. My eyes cover every inch of wounded flesh...every whip from the road dragged across my skin—every ounce of dripping blood that falls in lines to the gravel and leaks into puddles. I watch my tortured body in terror and cry at the dips and chunks of missing meat. I'll never be the same. My thoughts echo the void. I can't wear my dream dress on my big day. I'll need sleeves and a long flowy dress that's solid. Not the transparent lacy, short front, flared dress of my picking. The oozing blood and dent in flesh haunt my soul. I'll have to wear sleeves. The word “sleeves: bounce the entire empty space. 
 
 I wake to the sound of a news report. My hand rubs my eyes. I sit up and shield out the sun. Brad is in front of the TV. He has a hostile stance...one identical to a ramped up pitbull. His arms are out at his side in a braceful way, and his back is bone straight. I sit up and squint at the TV. "...it has been confirmed by the Denver Police Department. Henry Fleck, the Uber driver from the Hart case, has been apprehended at a forest reserve. He surrendered the squad an hour ago." An Uber profile picture of the man displays on the screen.  I clutch the sheets. My chest deflates. "The suspect has been escorted to the department for holding. The Chief speculates that a mob will form and is prepping to fortify the precinct." The chief, who's at a podium in front of the press, claims the screen. "This is a disturbing case, and justice will be served. To all those who are disgusted by this case, please remain home and away from the holding location." 
 The monitor clocks my heart rate at 135. Brad turns to me with the most demonic eyes I've ever seen.  Am I still dreaming?? Why is he looking like that?? " Brad...?"His nostrils flare at his fists ball. "I'm gonna make this right." He stomps over to an end table and swipes his keys from it.  
 My heart skyrockets and beats so fast now that I'm sure I'm close to cardiac arrest. The monitor has the flat-lining tune again. "NOO!!" I shout raspily. "DON'T!!" Brad dismisses my shouts and charges towards the door in a stride that belongs to someone else. It's too brute to belong to him. "PLEASE, BRAD???!! COME BACK." I swing my legs to the edge of the bed and manage to wobble on my feet. I end up falling because I'm too crippled by my nerves to drive my body. I heave in a wad of air. "LILY!!!!" I scream again because my heartbeat vanishes from my ribcage. My eyes go blurry, but I fight them from closing. Muffled pattering from the hall gives me tunnel vision. My sight isolates Lily as its main focus; everything else is blurry around her.  
 "MADDY??!! What the hell, what??"  
 I raise a limp, shaky hand to the TV. Lily follows it and reads the headline: Dangerous Arrested In Denver. "Brad...he's going there. He...left."  
 She reacts to my hoarse words in an instant and dashes from the room like a track star. Jess is in the doorway now and is baffled by how fast she treks down the hall. "Call the doctors!" Lil yells from afar. 
 Jess sprints to me and kneels. "What the hell is-" She sees the screen and the guy's image.  
 "Brad is trying to drive there..." 
 "Oh no!" 
 "The bell..." I point to the golden bell on the nightstand. "The doctors." I labor my words.  
 Jess seizes the bell and rings it like a whistle. "I'll call the cops." 
 "No! He'll get arrested...his anger won't go over well with the cops. Don't call 911!" I squeak hectically.  
 “We have to call someone...Lil is on foot, and he's in a car!" The female doctor hustles in and helps me from the floor. Jess whips out her phone. "We have to call someone for help." 
 "There's no one else to call," I answer breathlessly.  
 "Please calm yourself." The woman injects a shot into my arm. "You're okay, breathe." 
 Jess's phone rings, she answers fast. "Did you stop him?" I wait for her reaction, hoping it's good...but the look she gives me is tragic. "He's gone...Lil said he was doing at least eighty. She couldn't keep up with the car." 
 I close my eyes in inhale deeply. "We can't just let him go." 
 "No, no police. Maddy is right; he'll antagonize them." Jesse says into the phone and holds her head. "Maybe...we could try that." 
 "Try what?"  
 Jess puts Lil on speakerphone.  
 "Okay...no cops, so we need to try that." She's out of breath. "Brad won't make it there. Denver is 16 hours away. I would say let him cool down, but that isn't happening, not with how hard on the gas he was. Brad's gonna hurt himself...or someone else. We don't need him on the news because of a high chase with cops, either. We need an aircraft...someone we can trust to defuse this. Maddy, you need to call Jace."  
 
 
 
 Chapter 15: Favor 
  I eye the phone and go silent. The doctor hands me a tiny cup and a pill. "For the nerves." 
 "Thank you." 
 "Are we doing this?" Lily asks from the phone. "We need to hurry." 
 I look at my borrowed phone on the nightstand and ponder.  If I call, I know Jace will say, told you so. He'll be insufferable. But time is ticking.  "I don't have his number..." 
 "Mr. Harrison is at Strygent labs. It's best to not bother him. Any emergency can be handled by law enforcement." The doc advises. "I suggest you call the police to handle your friend." 
 "We'd rather not do that," Lil argues. "Can you just give us his number? This is an emergency he has to deal with." 
 "As I said, the police are your only option." The lady says sternly before walking to the door. "Now rest, Madison. You've overworked yourself." 
 When she closes the door, Lil huffs like a bull. "Fucking bitch, ring the bell to call the maid. There has to be another way to call him." 
 Jess taps the bell five times and strolls to the door to open it and glance down the hall. She repeats the pattern twice before the sound of shoes near. "Hi...we need help. Could we get  in contact with Jace Harrison?" 
 Helen halts in the door frame and reads the room's energy. "Is it at that bad?" 
 "Yes." Both my girls say together. 
 "Mr. Harrison did say if anything bad occurs to contact him." 
 "This is a high-level emergency." Lil clarifies. 
 "Very well, I'll summon the assistant. She is the only one on the estate who can share private information. I'll be right back." She hustles from the room. 
 I reach for the phone and dial Brad. "Maybe he'll pick up, and Jace doesn't have to get involved." My voice is jittery. The call goes straight to voicemail. I try two more times and get the same result. 
 The sound of heels hitting the wood floors make me look up. A red haired woman in a black, white, two tone dress with an hourglass figure catwalks into the room. "I hear you require the host's number." 
 I place the phone on my lap and nod. "Yes, I do." 
 The woman evaluates me from head to toe in a judgmental manner. I can't tell if she's envious or jealous. "I'm sure you've been made aware of his schedule. There's is no guarantee your call will be a priority." She says with intentional condescension. 
 "Stop with your insecurities. We don't have time for them. Give us the damn number; if not, Mr. Harrison will hear about your hospitality." Lil returns the patronization. 
 She nastily ranks my appearance with detesting eyes, then says, "of course, wonderful guest." The lady nears me in a bodycon dress. "The phone, please." I hand it to her. The assistant type in numbers and then gives it back. "Good luck..." She emphasizes her hips in a swing as she leaves. 
 I hold the phone to my ear and stare at Jess, who has her phone a few inches from her mouth. "Damn hoe." 
 "I can tell all the way from here..." 
 "Come back up." 
 "I'm lost." Lil snorts. "I'm trying to retrace my steps...or find a worker. I got Brad's car cell. I'm trying to track him." 
 The phone is on the third ring now.  He isn't going to pick up. The hot assistant was right.  When the fifth one comes, I shake my head at Jess. "We need another..." 
 "Hello?" 
 I gape at the phone. "Did he pick up??" Jess asks. 
 "Hello?" 
 Oh god, say something.  "Hi...it's me. Madison. Umm..." I struggle to find the right words. 
 "Is something wrong?” 
 I shut my eyes and force myself to speak without overthinking. "I know you're probably tired of doing things for me...but I need your help with something. The driver was caught. It's on the news. Brad freaked and sped off to try and kill the guy. I would have called the cops. I don't want him arrested or..." My jaws lock. "Or worse. That's why I'm calling. I'm hoping you could help." 
 "So the news upset him?" 
 "Yes...which I get. What I don't understand is why he thought he could take off like a mobster." 
 "I agree with you on that. Brad is being careless." 
 "Don't say, "I told you so," alright?" 
 "I won't." He states sincerely. "So, you want an off the radar recovery?" He asks professionally. 
 "Yeah." I pretend to know what this means. 
 "I'll need his license plate." 
 "We have his car phone number." 
 "That works." 
 I cover the bottom half of the phone with my palm. "Lil, what's his car phone number." She speaks ten digits. I repeat each into the phone. 
 "How long ago did he drive off?" 
 "About twenty minutes ago." 
 "Alright." The noise of typing on a phone fills the brief silence. "I'll request air search and alert my squad." 
 "They won't harm him, will they? He's pretty agitated." 
 "My men are trained to restrain, don't worry." 
 "Okay." I rub my neck. "Thank you..." 
 "You're welcome." I hear a grin in his words. "Rest your mind, darling. I'll handle it." 
 "Okay..." I tense my jaws and nod. "Thanks again...bye." I hang up. 
 "That sounded good." Jess sits beside me on the bed. 
 "Yeah, it's good news. Jace's team is going to go after Brad." 
 "I knew he had to have some men in black at his disposal." 
 Lily returns and marches over to hug me. "This is too much for you...I don't get how one person can be this damaging!" She shouts. "How Brad is acting isn't right. That much rage will only get worse." My bestie pulls from the hug and gazes into my eyes. "Do you know what I'm saying?" 
 "He wouldn't..." I disagree like a child. 
 Jess clamps her hand over mine. "Maddy...don't wait to find out." 
 "You guys just want me to trash him like that?!" 
 Lily nods. "Hon, listen..." 
 Someone clears their throat from the doorway. We all look to it. Five men in dark suits stand in a triangular pattern, and each wears shades. There's a horror element to their presence, and I don't know why. The one in the front, whose body is shredded, strides from the pack. "Hello ladies, my name is Alonso." He speaks with a ruff Spanish accent. "We require a photo for identification." His face is slim and expressionless. Lil unlocks her phone and shows Brad's Tinder profile picture. For the first time ever, I see her intimidated. The man whips out a phone from his pocket in a flash and snaps a picture of it. The whooshing of helicopter propellers erupts from under the floor. Jess stands, and Lil looks to the windows while I almost jump from my skeleton. "Thank you." Alonso twists around on his heels and marches from the room. The rest of the squad about faces and trails after him. 
 "Holy fuck." Jess breathes. 
 "Right?!" Lil holds her head with both hands. "That was some GodFather shit right there. I thought I was gonna get assassinated.” 
 "I don't like spending them after Brad...it doesn't feel right." I massage my temples. 
 "It's our best choice...and they won't hurt him." Lily consoles me. 
 "How do you know that?" 
 "Because Jace has a pretty clean rep for a rich guy. I did a background check on him when I thought my wallet plan would get you two dating." She glances to the side. "Anyway, he's clean." 
 "And it’s the fact that he's still turning over mountains for you. Seems like he cares about you." Jess wiggles her brows at me. 
 The helicopter swooshes from below the house and rattles the deck as it nosedives in a straight line on the beach. I elongate my neck to watch its blades whip the wind and thrust sand into a tornado. The metal machine gleams in front of the sun and positions itself perfectly with the ocean horizon before blasting ahead.  It's faster than any helicopter I've ever seen.   I hope everything goes smoothly...I hope Brad comes back in one piece. He's too irrational! What was that look he gave me before grabbing his keys?? What's with that wrath he has? Are my friends right about it being a gateway to abuse? Brad wouldn't hurt me.   He really is so sweet and considerate....he just has a strong vengeance. He needs to fix that animosity. I shouldn't have to be wary and terrified around him. I miss the early stage of us. I miss the Brad, who made me happy and excited. I don't want the version I have now that is hell bent and mindless. Nothing is the same anymore. 
 Do I stop caring for him?   Do I stop seeing him?   What do I do??   Brad loves me...he isn't faking the disrupted chemistry of his eyes when swept away by my presence. He isn't faking his attraction. I wish he were...then this wouldn't be complicated. I don't know. I need to rest my mind. I don't get how I even survived the horrible scene.   I'm lucky for the on call doctors here because I'm pretty sure that was a heart attack I experienced. I'm lucky that I'm being tended to. Lucky to have Jace. Jess is right...so was Lil when she said he wanted me. His actions destroy all my previous assumptions about his approach of women. He's kind...annoyingly pleasing, infuriating, charming, and so reserved. Is it possible that the high and mighty, ravishing billionaire isn't who I stereotyped him to be? 
 Lil and Jess leave me to rest…they don't go far, though. The two stand on the deck, watching the ocean swish and the sun expose heat ripples on the bare beach. I lay back on my pillow, too anxious to go to sleep. So I watch the yellow, blue paradise outside.  What do I do about Brad? Once he gets here, do I act as if all is forgiven?   Do I pacify his actions again? This time wasn't like the last; it wasn't an argument. It was a kill attempt. I can't let him walk it off or cool down. This was extreme...too extreme. How did he become that violent? Why didn't he listen to my screams of horror? Where is he?   The mixed emotions in my mind hop between complication, wonder, and longing.  I still don't understand his reaction. I'm baffled by his plan and upset about when I will see him again.  
 My girls want me to break up with him, but I think that's too harsh. Brad does have a problem...I'm aware of that; still, I care for him. Maybe it's the first boyfriend thing. Maybe it's because he's the first real life guy I fooled with.  Jess and Lil hold hands on the deck.  I know they're not doing it to taunt me....but it feels that way. I just want love...not this ball of stress I keep finding myself in. I had about 3 normal days out of the whole week; everything else has been a rollercoaster. I just want my hotel room and bed. I want peace of mind. My mind is drained, and I crave loneliness. At the same time, I'd like a companion. It's all so confusing. It's as if I can't be alone as I have for years. This small taste of love and care has me addicted. But the headache and bodily torment from today has me wishing for darkness. Not death...just the void I was in. The soundless, sightless black pit is inviting right now. My soul needs a detox from reality. 
 The iPhone on my lap rings. I debate answering it.  I want silence right now...then again, it may be important. Let me not be an introvert right now. I'll recuperate my fried brain when I go home tomorrow.  "Hello?" 
 "My men have him." 
 "Good...where was he?" 
 "On the expressway." 
 "Wait...how'd they get him?" 
 "My men are bold…they parked the copter." 
 "And disrupted traffic...fast ass traffic??" 
 "Oh, they gave warning beforehand." He declares riley. 
 "Wow...still, that's dangerous." 
 "My men have no limits." He snickers. 
 "No shit." I laugh. 
 "I reviewed the security footage. Brad isn't allowed back on the property; he's being escorted home. Are you alright?" His fretful tone wake butterflies in my stomach. 
 "No...I'm not." I disregard the act of being invincible. 
 "You recovered and are still suffering. The pace your heart endured today was troubling.   Your mind and body are drained. You deserve peace of mind after all of this." 
 "I'll get that when I go home." 
 "What if I offer a better solution?" 
 "Don't even try it. I'm not having sex with you." I deride. 
 Jace does a hard chuckle. "That isn't what I'm implying. The fact that your mind keeps drawing that conclusion shows you're dirty minded." His deep voice teases me. 
 I squint at the phone and smirk. "Then what is the offer?" 
 "An escape to my island, where there's no public population, no noisy city or residents. Your own tropical resort. I can have you flown away tonight." 
 I bite my bottom lip and juggle the offer in my mind.  Should I? It would be nice to hear absolutely nothing after all the screaming and arguing. Home will be loud...the other hotel hosts aren't courteous. This is more than another favor...he expects something now.  "What do you want in return?" 
 "Dinner and conversation." 
 "That's it?" 
 "Yes, you have my word." 
 My lips part and I breathe out slowly. "That’s a nice bargain." Brad's face and smile conjure in my thought without my permission. I run a hand through my hair and clutch the middle. "That does sound nice...but it'll just complicate things. I'm still with Brad." 
 Jace exhales through his nose in a short spurt. "I don't get why you are. He's a lucky idiot who aspired to be a murderer." 
 "No one's completely unflawed...I'm sure you've done reckless shit in life." I retort stubbornly. 
 "Yes, I have...not on such a scale where I'd face prison." He states intently. "I respect your choice, nonetheless. Just so you know, the offer has no expiration. You're trapped with him for now...but you're smart enough to free yourself." I'm caught off guard by his aiding words. "Goodbye, Madison." 
 My hand drops to my collarbone just as the dead tone seeps from the phone's earpiece. I turn the device face down on the bed...and observe it.  Trapped? Free myself?? What the hell does that mean? Brad isn't beating me. Why does everyone keep implying that?? Yes, he will need anger management…something to correct it. There are resources. Brad has too soft of a touch with me to be an abuser.  I eat like a bird at dinner time. The mostaccioli smells great...my tastebuds just aren't alive.  Is this stress? Depression? Or something else?  Lil and Jess crash on the sofa in my room; there's no way they'd leave me alone. I smile at the snuggled position they’re in, then grab the phone.   I need to check if he's made it back home safely.  My finger taps in Brad's number. The line trills a long tone for more than a minute. There's no answer.  His phone must be dead or in his car . I sigh and drop the call. 
 I'm pampered for a week by Lil, who sleeps over with me to be my support. She doesn't drop the Brad topic and is a lot more blunt about it seeming like a relationship that will turn abusive. My bestie hovers the block button in front of my face about three times. I don't give in...but I compromise. If three people are informing me about Brad's eligibility, it has to be for a reason. I'm not convinced to leave him. I just  text: we need to take a break.  I google Jace to see what he's up to:  
 
 
 JACE HARRISON, CEO OF STRYGENT, TO MASS PRODUCE HUMAN REPLACING SPACE BOTS FOR NASA 
 
 
 
 
 STRYGENT'S NEWLY CONSTRUCTED LAB IS THE SIZE OF THREE FOOTBALL FIELDS! 
 
 
 
 
 PAPARAZZI SPOTTED THREE WOMEN LEAVING JACE HARRION'S BEACH HOUSE IN AN SUV. IS THE DOG STILL AT IT AGAIN? 
 
 
 
 
 NAMELESS HELICOPTER FROM LAST WEEK'S EXPRESSWAY SHOWDOWN,  RUMORED TO  BE J.H’S MYSTERY CRAFT.  
 
 
 I decide to google myself and find old and recent articles.  Great...I'm forever known as the Uber girl who jumped from a car.  Some articles recycle the same bang picture from high school. The other articles have Henry Fleck's photos and rioters outside the police department. The guy is being held there until trial...something I hope gets skipped, so I'm no longer bothered. I hope a judge just persecutes him.  I exit the browser and go to the bathroom. I wear only long sleeves and pants. No shorts or tanks, no half sleeves. The times I have gone out, I covered up like a Muslim without the headpiece. I tug my cuffs over my hands and resort to buying shirts with thumbholes to hide the bruises on them. I replace all my dresses with ones that show no skin besides my chest and stock up on hoodies and leggings.  
 Today I have on a baggy long sleeve t-shirt and joggers, with untidy hair. I open a cabinet and take out some concealer I borrowed from Lily. The patches on my body are healed but are discolored. My olive skin isn't one tone anymore. The newly grown skin is grayish in tone and is so obvious to me.   Lily and Jess say I'm overreacting and that they're barely noticeable...to me, I look like Frankenstein's monster. They're being nice. It's going to take way more days...more weeks, perhaps years, to talk me down. I am hideous…and it appears to be permanent.   I cover the exposed skin of my neck, chest, and face with makeup and dab in the color to hide the marks on my skin.  
 Lil comes in the front door with groceries. "Babe, where are you? I got your sweets!" 
 "In the bathroom."  
 "Oh." She drops most of the bag and comes to me with one. "Brownies, cookies, and caramel ice cream as requested."  
 "Thanks." I put down the concealer and go into the bag to unwrap cookies and take five out.  
 "Are you up for going out later? It'll be fun. Me and Jess miss our third wheel." 
 "No, I'll stay in."   
 "Your skin isn't that bad." 
 "That bad, meaning it is bad," I reply cleverly. "I'll watch a movie or something. I'm okay." 
 "I don't want you alone; you'll try to talk to Brad." 
 I scrunch my face at her like a furious cat.  "I said we're on a break, not that I'm done with him."  
 "Jace proposed a getaway to steer you from Brad...all three of us aren't wrong, Maddy." Her voice stings irritatingly, "Just...please, keep the break permanent."  
 "Oh yeah, like it's my choice...you hid my phone!" I yank the bag from Lil and push past her. I march to a tiny kitchen area and open a cabinet to get a bowl and spoon. I slap the bag onto the counter and unload the ice cream carton. "You and Jess need to butt out." 
 "How about Jace...did you tell him that?" 
 "Yeah, I did." I put my hands on my hip. "I told him off too. It's none of you guy's business."  
 Lil laughs cynically. "Oh right, we made the very public tantrum of his our business. We gave you a borderline heart attack, too, right? Gee, we really need to occupy our time elsewhere, instead of being a support group for someone who's..." 
 "I'm not in an abusive relationship!!!" I shriek at the top of my lungs.  
 She throws up her hands and leaves for the door. "Alright, we're wrong. Think what you want for now. When he lays his hands on you, that'll be when you face the truth. Which is bullshit!" Lil slams the door behind her.  
 I rip open the ice cream and scoop huge globs into the bowl. Then I look to the main room, where my bed is. I stomp over and flip the mattress in search of my phone. My search involves under the bed and couch cushions, through the bathroom cabinets, then the kitchen. I jam my hand around the tv and push out the stand it's on.   I'm sick of people thinking they know my love life! Why can't they see that I'm not a battered woman? I  just have a boyfriend who's hotheaded. That's all. That's normal...people have different temperaments.  The last place I check is the closet. I toss all my clothes out as well as boxes of shoes. I pull back the ends of the carpet that stick up in the narrow closet and find the block of a device. "There it is..." I rest on my knees and power it on. I smile at the white screen with the black apple. When it's all booted up, I go to texts and find that he hasn't responded to my last text. I dial his number. I pace around the trashed hotel room as the line tunes on for longer than I expected.  Is he out?   Maybe he's at work?  I text: Pick up. I'm calling .  The phone buzzes against my ear. When it jerks, I hurry to read the screen. 
 
 
 Brad: No. 
 
 
 "What?" I mutter, then type : Why ? 
 
 
 Brad: You know why 
 
 
 
 
 Me: I wouldn't be asking if I did, would I?  
 
 
 
 
 Brad: You do...your last text was a breakup.  
 
 
 
 
 Me: No, it was a break...I said a break! 
 
 
 The phone ceases its buzzing. I hear breathing that belongs to a keyed up bull...or a rhino. "That's not what that meant!" Brad attests.  
 "Yeah, it was! How are you gonna tell me what I meant??" 
 "Because it was over once you called on your knight in shining armor to cut me off on the expressway! I was going to kill him for you. Henry fucking Fleck deserves to die after how he broke you!! But you couldn't let me provide, but Jace Harrison can?!" He spits. "How about you call him since you two are so close. Since I'm the problem and he's the solution, right?!" 
 "Where are you getting this from?? I asked a favor because I didn't want you in trouble!!" I holler. 
 "I told you I was going to make it right! You just don't listen when you need to. You called on another man, Madison! You’re ruining this relationship by being unappreciative!"  
 "Me? I'm unappreciative??" I stumble over the words. 
 "Yes, you are! I'm sick of you being the one in charge; that's my role. You need to fix your attitude and toe the line." He commands ferociously.  
  My soul, heart, and mind shatter. "Why are you being like this??" I whimper. “You don’t sound like yourself.” 
 "Because you tested me!" He jeers petulantly.  I knew this would happen. It’s as I said before, men need control. They hate  outspokenness and prefer women to obey and listen. This cycle will never end. So I need to adjust myself and fall in line if I want a husband. If I want marriage.  
 “I’m sorry…” I mumble sheepishly.”That’s not what I wanted to do. I’m sorry.” 
 “If you want to keep this going, you need to agree to listen,” Brad speaks slowly and unrelentingly. 
 My eyes overflow with tears as I shake my head. “Okay, I won’t do it again. I agree.” I wipe my eyes and gulp. “Are we good now?” 
 “I’ll let you know.” The humming noise from the phone makes me aware that he’s hung up. I fall from my knees and onto the sides of my legs and cover my eyes.   
 
 
 
 Chapter 16: Testy Waters 
  A week later, I get back into my work groove. I have loads of vacation days and a valid excuse to call off. Yet I don't want to be at home like a beached whale. Also, I need more than movies to keep me occupied. Time goes fast when you're doing something. Being active is better than stuffing my face and watching TV. On my way out to work, Lil, who washes the dishes, asks, 
 "Are you sure you want to go back? We have emergency days." 
 "I'm sure." I open the door. 
 "Are you taking a ride...or?" 
 "I'm walking." 
 "How about on the way home?" 
 I turn to the kitchen, pulling my thumb holes farther down my hands. "I'll walk." 
 "At night? By yourself?" She steps into the main room and crosses her arms. 
 "I'll be careful." 
 "You could ask Brad for a ride," Lil says with an edge to her voice. 
 "I..." My hands pull at my long sleeves. "I don't want to do a car...I can't." I admit drearily. 
 Lily drops her arms and comes to hug me. "Aww..." Her hands rub down my forearms. "Sorry...I wasn't thinking. Umm...how about this. How about you give me 15 to get ready, and we both go to work and walk home together. How about that?" 
 "That works." 
 "Okay, I'll get ready." She goes to my closet. "There's pepper spray in my bag, in the side pouch. I want you to have it." 
  I eye her gym bag of clothes at the foot of the bed, then go to it and unzip the pouch. The long, black sprayer has a clip on the end. I add it to my dress pants loops. I used to hate these trousers for eliminating my hips and ass, but now I don't care. My sex appeal is buried six feet below...along with my past self. I follow orders at work like a robot. My witty and flirtatious demeanor is no more. I simply serve and repeat two phrases in a bland tone. "Hello sir, what drink would you like?" and "Thank you, have a nice day." All the advances from men are given no response, no raunchy retort or playful hinting. I am a simple bartender now who zip through orders faster than usual. My lackluster mood is obvious to all customers and co-workers. Lily even notes my detachment. 
 There are sympathetic stares from everyone in the banquet hall whenever they look my way. There's a pity, sadness, and shame in all of their eyes. I know why. On my lunch break, I decide to skip the break room and head out for a walk. "Madison, wait up." Sam summons me over to the receptionist's desk. I glide over in a stiff walk. "Umm...we all put something together for you. For, you know..." He scratches the back of his head and retrieved a tip jar from under the counter. "Everyone pitched in...I know it's not a lot." 
 "No, it's perfect. You guys didn't have to." I express with gratitude. 
 "It's the least we could do." He drops his hand from his brown hair. "I'm sorry about all my joking around...if it's offensive now..." 
 "Sam." I shake my head dismissively. "No worries." I accept the jar with a rushed grin and head back to the locker room.  That's nice of the crew to do for me. It's already impossible to get good tips here. The fact that they gave what little they had is the greatest. It's about $50. 
 A short girl with white blonde hair jogs in lightly. "Hey...I see you got the gift." She points to the jar. "We're all going out later to a carnival. You should come. It'll be fun...you could use some cheering up." She adds sentimentally. "It'll be a good time out." 
 I scroll the combination lock and put the jar inside with my phone. "I'm usually tired after work..." 
 "Mr. Thompson might let us leave early." 
 "Look..." I close the locker roughly. "I get that you all feel bad for me. The tip was nice. I'm glad for it. That's all that needs to be done here. I'm not a charity case." I stress. "I don't need special treatment." 
 "Oh..." The girl twiddles her thumbs and shrugs. "I'm sorry if it came across that way." 
 When she leaves, I massage my temples and sit at the table to stare at the floor.  I should've stayed home. I should leave early. Then I don't want to be home. I'm going stir crazy. I'm losing my mind. I've been avoiding Brad's wrath, too...he's still mad at me. Our texts are short and tense now, mostly on his half. I'm still on punishment,   He just needs time to cool down, and I need time with an eased mind. I thought work would help.  I glance up at a clock over the table. It's 5:30 pm.  I can do that. I can do the two and a half hours. I need to busy myself. 
 Back at my bar, there's a tall stack of cash, I mean about a foot high.  Huh?  I look around to see if Jace is here. He's not. It's Tuesday; his week is sown up with business travels. I checked.  So who left this?  "The greedy bastards need a tragedy to lend a big tip." Lil's voice comes from across the bar. "I heard you have a jar full of cash too. We can put it towards college." 
 "Yeah, we could," I respond with a bit more pep in my step. "UCLA!" 
 "Yasss!" Lil raises her hands in celebration. "That's at least $7k." 
 I pull out the drawer below me and scoop the cash into it. "Yeah, that's really nice of them." 
 "About time they rich asses gave something." She leans onto the counter and surveys me. 
 "Are you alright enough to stay?" 
 "I am." 
 "Good, you need to get back to normal shit." 
 "Davidson!" Lil does a little animated hop before running off towards the tables. 'Thank you." Mr. Thompson strides my way. "Madison, how are you? If you need any time away, just let me know." 
 "I'm able to work." 
 "Okay....still, you can go if this is too soon." 
 "Thanks." 
 "I have Sydney and Robb for backup in case you change your mind about the 4th of July." 
 "I'll be here," I state confidently. 
 At home, I soak my feet and online shop.  The money I got today is mostly going to savings, but I need more clothes—the less revealing kind.  I fill my Shein cart with long sleeve graphic tees, v necks, leggings, jeans, and long socks. After I purchase, I sort my closet. The sexy short dresses and heels I have, I store in a trash bag. When done, my closest has five outfits hanging.  Outfits that I used to wear before Lil spiced me up. Now, I'm dressing like a virgin again, which is good. I'll only show my skin on my honeymoon when it'll be presentable. I need to do some heavy work on it. Bleaching cream, perhaps. That's the right way. I'm done being eye candy.   I need to toe the line...as Brad said. 
 I text him:  Hey,  can we have a date night? 
 
 
 Brad: Sure. My place. I'll pick you up. 
 
 
 
 
 Me: You could come over here, js. 
 
 
 
 
 Brad: Why not my place? 
 
 
 I exhale longingly and type:  I can't be in a car after what happened 
 
 
 Pls could you come over 
 
 
 
 
 Brad: Alright, sweety, be there soon <3 
 
 
 
 
 Me: <3 
 
 
 I change into a pastel floral blouse with puffy sleeves and slip into white jeans. Next, I wash my hair and tidy up my bed and bathroom. I add more makeup to the body scares around my chest and neck. Every place else is covered. Then I text again while blow drying my hair:  Pizza?  I comb through my wet hair. 
 
 
 Brad: Is that the only meat on the menu?  
 
 
 
 
 Me: stop it lol 
 
 
 
 
 Brad: make me ;) 
 
 
 I place a pizza order from Domino's and go to a mini-fridge for a bag of fries. Lil stocked up well enough for the week. There's sandwich meat, breakfast food, burgers, meat, and hotdogs. The Pepsi in the fridge is what I grab. I power on the pressure cooker on the one counter and set the temp to 350 degrees, then snap open the bag of fries and dump some in. I get an alert from Twitter from Jace's profile. My hand closes the cooker's lid, then taps it to read it. His official account has a black and white title of his company as the background and a dominant main photo. Hands in suit pockets, head balanced, and a gaze so alpha male that a lion would cower.  Hmm...he confuses me. Is he a nice guy or not? Or is that pose done for a persona? The Jace from the hospital and beachouse is nothing like what I see here. He's portrayed as cold and unrelenting, not caring. 
 The tweet, which is ten seconds old, has 59 retweets already. It reads:  Product Scavenger Hunt: Glass.  
 
 
 There are comments below: 
 
 
 
 
 Is the new WIP a glass car?? Tell us!!! 
 
 
 
 
 Hmm...maybe it's a glass replacement or something 
 
 
 
 
 Omg, it's a glass dick. I knew it.  
 
 
 
 
 Could we get another hint? That's pretty broad. What are you cooking in that lab of yours?? 
 
 
 Knocking on the door breaks my attention. I lock my phone and scurry to it.  It's been so long since we seen each other. The last time was his tyraid. I can't wait to see him.  I open the door and am immediately flattened against a wall. Brad slams the door, then lifts me by the waist and suckles my mouth. I grip his neck and return the strenuous kissing. We eat each other's lips and tongues. He takes one of my hands and wedges it on his dick. The guttural groan that escapes him makes me tighten my hold. "I want you in bed." Brad nibbles at my neck and compresses my breast with his strong hands. I cry out. "You need to be fucked." His wild and ravenous eyes dictate the situation. Brad carries me by my waist and to the bed and plops me down. 
 When he unbuckles his pants, I sit up. "Could we just play?" I watch him unzip his fly. "Brad? You know I'm waiting to-" 
 "Are you serious?" He ridicules. 
 "I am." 
 "If I were Jace, you wouldn't be opposing, would you?" He crawls onto the bed and stops above me. "You owe me. You practically cheated. If you say no to this, that's selfish." Brad pins my arms down like bricks. 
 "I wouldn't...and I didn't. Can you stop?!" 
 He watches me with despising eyes. "You're being difficult...you can't possibly deny sex until your honeymoon; that's impossible. Maddy, you want it." His hand slides into my jeans while he uses the other to pull his pants down. 
 The room spins and buzzes. My heart bangs my chest. "No..." My mouth moves, but I don't hear the words over the white noise of my ears. My hands wack at his chest and aim for his neck. He restrains my wrist with one hand and flips me around with the other. My pants are wiggled down. I kick and scream. Brad's dick draws down my ass line, and my underwear is ripped off.  Quick flashes of a wedding gown evade my sight. Two hands wearing engagement rings...and a veil dropping across my head of blonde hair. There's an abrupt glance of the groom, too fast to distraught a face. His hair isn't brown. It isn't Brad. 
 My eyes stream out tears. The tip of his penis hovers right at the hole. I hear him spit to lubricate it. "It isn't you..." I whisper. "It isn't you." 
 "What did you say?" 
 "You don't love me...you would stop if you did." 
 Brad lays his body on mine like a sandwich and curves against me. I feel his tip slip in. 
 "Why do you think I'm doing this?" He Huffs. 
 "Because you hate me." 
 "You're being selfish again." He gets onto his knees and arches my ass upwards. 
 "Wait! Don't you want me on top?" I request. "That's your fantasy, right?" 
 "I know what you're doing." 
 "I want to apologize...I was wrong, and I want to show you how sorry I am. Can I ride you?" I imitate my best porn voice and am sure to portray a wild, horny enthusiasm. 
 Brad flips me around again and mounts me atop him. "Do it!" He threatens. 
 I dig my knees into the mattress and arch my body. One hand raises his shirt above his head. My other grope his dick. "I think I should suck you first...then ride you. You'll love the washing machine." When he doesn't protest, I crawl down to his waist and pull down his boxers. My eyes dart to my dress pants...to the pepper spray clipped on them. I hold his dick with one hand and bend it. Brad swallows. I lick across his temple from end to end until he closes his eyes and sigh.  GO!  I run from the bed and to the closet, there's a delayed response from Brad, who jumps from the bed judging by the loud creaking. My trembling hands rip the sprayer from the pants. I spin around and hold it up. 
 "Put it down, Maddy." 
 "How could you?!" 
 He eyes the sprayer. "I'm sorry, just put it down," Brad speaks lightly now. 
 "No." I raise it higher. "How could you?? After." I sob and clutch the weapon. "After what I went through, how could you?!!! You fucking asshole!" 
 "Forgive me, please?" The previous guy I knew overrides the one from seconds ago. "I'm just mad." 
 "Mad at me? I don't get why! I didn't cheat. I involved Jace so you wouldn't be a dumbass and get yourself killed or locked up! I'm getting the feeling that I care more than you do." 
 "I love you." Brad paces up a few feet. 
 "No, stay back!" I shout. "That wasn't love!" 
 "I went too far; I admit that." 
 "You were cruel! You know I'm saving myself. You know this!" My finger rests on the releaser. "You need to leave." 
 "Let's talk about this." 
 I throw a perplexed glare his way. "You tried to rape me! There's nothing to talk about. You need to leave!" 
 "Baby..." Brad's expression is remorseful, and his voice meek. "I don't know why I did that. I'm drunk...I've been drinking since last week. That wasn't me." 
 I sniff the air and flare my nose. "I know the smell of alcohol. You're lying! You lied about loving me too, didn't you? But...but you were so convincing. I believed you." I whine. 
 "I do love you." 
 "You don't..." I cry. "If I didn't have this, you would have beat me for stopping." 
 "No." He shakes his head. 
 "Yes." 
 "I would never hit you." 
 "You're lying." My lip quivers. 
 "I'm not...you can trust me on that." 
 "What makes you so sure?" 
 Brad's mellow eyes fall to the sprayer. "Because it's not switched on." I gawk down at it. The latch is off to the side, not in the middle where it reads "on." I peer back up at him and gulp. "I'm not nice when I'm jealous, that's all." 
 "You need help," I mutter shakily. 
 "I do..." He states dismally. "I need your help, please, Maddy. Just put it down. I won't hurt you." 
 "I don't know who you are right now!" 
 "I know...I'm not myself." 
 "Who are you?!" 
 "Someone who made a mistake." 
 "Three mistakes." I correct. "How you left me with a damn near heart attack, last week's call, and now this. You don't treat me the same anymore." 
 "I'll fix it. Everything will be normal again." 
 "I can't trust you." Brad reaches his hand out towards my face. I clip the sprayer on. "You're not the one...you're not him. I thought you were. I was happy...and now I don't even feel safe with you." I whisper. His hand stays out despite the now active weapon. "You know how I view my body now...you didn't respect that; you tried to undress me!" 
 Brad drops his hand and eyes the floor. "I'm gonna get better. Just give me time." 
 "You can't act like this when you're jealous." 
 "I'll get better...I'll try out therapy and work on my anger for you. Maddy, I can't live without you, please?" My weakness of his drawn out plead gets the best of me. My anger diminishes. "Give me another chance. I fucked up." 
 My lungs fill up with air. I glance between his eyes to confirm that the evil part isn't hiding there. It isn't.  Can I...should I believe him? He did go too far for my liking. Also, he hasn't hit me. He could have. Brad could still assault me, but he's not. His plan for help seems true. I don't know...I don't know him.   " You don't have the right to handle me that way." 
 "I promise I won't do it again." Brad holds a hand out. "Let's start over...with a blank slate." I slowly lower the pepper spray but don't take my finger off the presser. "I'll be perfect for you again." 
 "If you want to be perfect for me, how about you leave?" I grit my teeth. He walks to me fast...too fast for my comfort. I aim the deterrent at his eyes. Brad halts immediately. "Leave!" I growl with a shaky arm. 
 His brown eyes bounce between me and the pepper spray. He's doubtful of my threat. "You won't..." 
 I hold my breath and steady my arm. "Unlike you, I don't like hurting people, but don't test me." I jerk my chin and slit my eyes. 
 Brad backs away. "Alright, I'll go." 
 I trace forward as he back peddles to the door. "Get out!" 
 Once at the door, he feels behind him for the knob, never taking his regretful gaze from mine. "I didn't mean to hurt you." 
 "Well, you did." I stomp towards him and spray the door as a warning. "I won't miss next time. You need to listen and toe the line." I quote his insult from last week. He opens the door and walks backwards into the hall. I stand directly across from the door's opening and keep my target on him. Brad's grief is evident on his face as the door closes manually and snaps locked. I guard the door despite knowing it's secured.  What the fuck? I can't believe that just happened!! Does he expect me to believe that he's ashamed? So far, all I know if that Brad is a good actor. There's a person with two halves outside my door. One half I, unfortunately, fell for...and the other is a stranger wearing his face. 
 How could he be so cruel to me because I saved him from harm??   My mind recalls Lily's and Jess's warning. "How Brad is acting isn't right. That much rage will only get worse. Do you know what I'm saying?"   Jess clamps her hand over mine. "Maddy...don't wait to find out."   The heeding Jace gave me comes next   "You're trapped with him for now...but you're smart enough to free yourself."  I sit on the floor, in front of the door, with my spray still aimed ahead of me.  Am I smart enough? Even after what he's just done, I can't un-care for Brad.  That's horrible of me...but it's true.  I gaze at the door, juggling my thoughts.  I wish this were a nightmare. I wish I could go back in time and fix this shit! Or just had accepted the retreat Jace proposed. He was right. My mind and body are drained.  I end up falling to sleep on the floor. My dreams hold nothing. Everything is black and silent for the night. My bipolar mind is active, though.  What if Brad does get help? What then? Do I go back to him? Is this just a rocky road in our relationship? Sadly, I want to forgive the sweetheart of a guy but loath his dangerous side. It's silly that he still has my heart after the evil deed.   Why couldn't he just listen when I said no? Why did I match with him and share so much? Get so attached? Am I that desperate for love? That desperate for marriage?   Is it wrong that I want to look past this? Wrong that I want a wedding so badly that I will try to fix this?   Who was the groom in that strange vision I had? Was it Jace? Or did my mind just wig out? 
 
 
 
 Chapter 17: Loss Of Burden 
  When I wake, Lil is at the door. "Maddy? Are you okay?!" She panics and bangs on the door. "MADDY?!" 
 I scoot up from the floor and run to the door to unlock it. "Lil, I'm sorry I was sleeping. 
 "I called you like ten times." 
 "My phone is in the kitchen...it must be dead. I didn't hear it." 
 My bestie studies my weary voice. "Why do you sound like that?" She walks inside and leans on the sidewall of the door. 
 I close it. "Brad and I..." I begin to tell the truth but alter it.  Lil will kill him if I do. " We had a bad argument." 
 "About?" 
 I tuck my lips into my mouth and look to the side. "About sex...and his behavior." 
 "Good, did you curse his ass out? Did he try something?!" 
 My eyes fall on her. I can't hide the sadness. "I did...and no." 
 "Why are you so down?" How bad was the fight?" 
 "Lil...I think I made a mistake with Brad. I fucked up." 
 "Mistake." Lil pushes off the wall. "You said no, though. Did you two have sex?" 
 "No..." 
 "What do you mean by mistake?" 
 "We're getting too tense with each other. I have to leave him. I want to...but can't." 
 "That's part of breaking up. No one wants to do it. No one wants the heartache, but it's necessary. You two aren't healthy anymore. If you feel the need to end it, do so." 
 "I still care...even though he's horrible." 
 Lil moves to hug me. "I know...that's the bad part. Give it about a month. You'll get over him. The first one is always the hardest to give the ax. You never felt so high in your mind before; he's a drug to you. Maddy, clean him out the best you can and stay off Tinder." 
 I laugh and cry at the same time. "What if I can't clean him out?" 
 "You will...just keep telling yourself, "I have to leave him." 
 "What if I love him?" 
 "If you did, you wouldn't want to leave. That was infatuation mixed with a crush. Love isn't that fast. It took me 8 months to tell Jess. Love is slow." 
 "It's too slow...I can't wait any longer. I feel like leaving Brad will be me losing my wedding." I lay my head on her neck. 
 "No...you'll have other shots. So many that you won't be able to choose." Lil snickers. "Stay strong." 
 Teardrops drip down my cheeks. "I don't know." 
 "Take it one day at a time." She departs from the hug and frowns at my depressed eyes. "Let's go out to eat...and skip work today. Maybe do some shopping?" I nod once and hug my hands to my elbows. 
 For the rest of the day, we have breakfast at IHOP with Jess, who's a work from home stylist. She multitasks on a laptop while eating and conversing. Lil doesn't mention the Brad situation. We just chat about anything that comes to mind. Every now and then, I think about him and have to think of the word "no" to reroute my mind. I block his number and focus on chatting and munching on chocolate chip pancakes. When shopping at Rue21, I once again get winter esque clothing, including tights and tall shoes. A pack of rose gold earrings catch my eye. I buy them and a matching heart necklace. The day is bizarre. I crave the affection my girls can't give me. I miss intimacy...romance, kissing, touching, deeply gazing into someone's eyes. The label hopeless romantic is what comes to mind. I hate feeling abandoned. Alone. Unwanted. Unattractive. Ugly. Scarred. Lonely. Lil and Jess can't fix this pit in the core of my heart. I have to. This isn't going to be easy at all. The absent lover's companionship will tear my soul and gut apart. 
 The next day, as soon as I get out of the shower, I find a tidal wave of texts from Lil:   Maddy, omg, turn on the news! 
 
 
 Henry was killed in jail. 
 
 
 
 
 We're celebrating later!  
 
 
 
 
 Are you up? 
 
 
 I wrap my boyish body into a towel and slap my bare feet to my bedroom. I turn on the TV and tune into KTLA NEWS. The headline scrolling the bottom of the screen reads:  HENRY FLECK DIES MYSTERIOUSLY IN JAIL CELL.  The newscasters stare into the camera as a reporter, who's live on the scene, speaks. "...that's the real question here. How exactly was the suspect killed? I had brief words with the chief, he claimed there was a bullet wound, yet it didn't belong to any guns inside the precinct. The stone walls are ten inches thick, so that eliminates the source as being an outside attack. I'm not sure how this is possible." 
 "Could this have been a rioter who broke inside?" An anchor from the round table asks. 
 "That's possible...we won't know for sure until an official statement is given by the chief." 
 A combination of relief and affliction warps my mind.  Killed in jail? The gun can't be found? That's odd. The police were handling the guy well. Henry was supposed to go to trial tomorrow. Who would kill him right before he was about to face justice? The cops wouldn't. And why does Lil want to celebrate the death? Yes, I had a dream about killing Henry, shooting him to be exact. The driver gave me nightmares, and I reacted violently in my head. It was all I could do at the time. All I could do was revisit and mentally modify the scenario. That doesn't mean I'm happy he's dead.    I'm put off by this news. The guy was facing the justice system, as he should have. Who would kill him?  I tune back into the news. 
 "This appears to be too advanced of a kill to be done by a local. The station prepared for attacks. If this was a sniper, that's a professional hit. I'm calling it now. This case will involve the FBI." One of the newscaster declares.  
 "It just might be that. Henry Fleck was set to attend a hearing tomorrow. It seems whoever pulled that trigger planned it with irony. Why wait until his last day in Denver?" The live reporter states thoughtfully. "A day before his sentencing?" 
 My phone rings in my hand; I answer it without reading the name, assuming it's Lil. "Yeah, I see it...this is crazy." 
 "Oh, sweetheart, is that you?!" I almost drop the phone. "Your dad and I finally found you!" 
 "Mom???" I blurt into the phone. 
 "Where are you? We've been hopping hospitals looking for you. None of the doctors would tell us where you were taken, because it was private information. I had your damn social, they still denied us. We slept there for over a week. The docs wouldn't budge on your location. I kept being told to call you. My new phone doesn't have your number." She wails emotionally.  
 "Oh wow...I'm sorry, mom, I have your old number; I tried calling." I hold my forehead.  
 "We called every country club in the state. I'm so glad we found you! Where are you?" 
 "I'm at a hotel." 
 "Hotel? Why?" 
 "Umm...I left my apartment. I live here now." 
 "Please give me the address. We need to see you, sweetheart."  
 I text her the address. "Where is dad?" 
 The sound of footsteps interrupts the call for a few seconds. "He went out for smokes; he should be back soon. What exactly happened? Why did the hospital blacklist us from you?" 
 "I have no clue...you're my guardians; that's pretty unlawful. I'm figuring it's because I was taken by a private medical team." 
 "Private? How did you afford that?" 
 "It was free." 
 "Wow! Did charity help you out or something?" 
 "Yeah, something like that." I switch off the tv and retreat to the bathroom.  
 "No more driving apps. I always found it odd that people get into strangers' cars."  
 "I had no problems up until the last one...but I get what you mean. I'm done with the services. I'm done with cars, too." 
 "Aww...We'll be there soon as possible, and we're staying for a while." 
 I smile at her authoritarian tone. "I'd like that."  
 "Is Lil still with you, or are you ex girlfriends now?" 
 "She's still around...I can't shake her." I giggle. 
 "That's good. At least she was around for support. I'm so sorry, honey, we should have been there." She sniffles. 
 "Having old phone numbers is equally both of our faults."  
 "I should have never made you leave home." 
 "Mom, stop. I'm alive and well." 
 "I hope you're well...and aren't just saying it. Is there something you need to let me know?" 
 That's creepy. The whole mother knows all thing is so creepy.  "I'll tell you some other time." 
 "Okay..." A door opens on her end. "Oh, here's your dad."  
 "Is that Madison?! You found her?!" My dad exclaims in an emotionally choked up voice.  
 "Yeah, it's her." 
 I blink away tears, but they still manage to fall down to the floor. "Madison?" My dad cries into the phone. 
 "Yeah, daddy, it's me. I'm okay." 
 "Oh, God! We thought we lost you! The news stopped updating your case, which was so strange. I called every Madison in the phone book, I couldn't find you." 
 "Sorry, I dropped off the radar..." 
 "How?" He collects himself.  
 "I'll explain once you two get here." 
 "We're coming right now." 
 "See you soon." 
 After the call, I update Lil about my parents; then, I find an outfit to wear. A simple white, long T with pink jeans. I pull my hair back into a ponytail and wiggle my feet into socks. The last thing I do to my appears is add powders to exposed, uneven skin. My place isn't bad looking, yet I still straighten up some things. There's a strong hint of rotten meat. I sniff it out. The source is coming from under the door. When I open it, a pizza box is there. "Oh...right." I race to get a trash bag to dispose of it.  It smells bad.  I cover my nose while wrapping it and retrieve Fabreez to eliminate the odor.  
 Jess and Lily arrive before my parents. "Party at your place, woot woot!!" The two sing. They have a case of coolers and groceries.  
 "I guess it is, woot woot!"  
 "This is perfect timing. You need your mom for the breakup." Jess emphasizes.  
 "Hey, no, no." Lil wags a finger at her. "No B words today." She carries the bags to the kitchen.  
 "Sorry," Jess murmurs.  
 "Don't worry." I close the door once she comes inside. 
 "What took them so long to find you?" Lil scrutinizes.  
 "The hospital denied them information because of the change of medical custody." 
 Lily stops unbagging. "Whoa...what? But they're your parents." 
 "That's shitty!" Jess seconds. 
 "Yeah." 
 "Did you tell them about Jace?" 
 "I'll tell them once they get here." 
 Lil loads chips and soda from the bags and to the counter. "Your mom is gonna tell you the same thing. The dude is into you. Give in a little." 
 "I need time away from guys right now." 
 "But he's just not a "guy" he's a god of beauty." Lil puts on a fainting reenactment. "I know you thought that out of a few of the 365 days you spied on him. Girl, if I weren't gay, I'd have him." 
 "Who's to say he's not into gay girls?" Jess winks. "We could have a four way." 
 I crack up, then jump when tapping comes from the door. Before I twist the knob, I give them a heeding stare. "Limit the sex jokes." I pull the knob and cheese like a newborn at my mom, whose blonde hair is cut short, and my dad, who resembles a lumberjack. My dad's embracing arms raise me from the floor, and my mom's arm wrings around my side. The huddling is medicine for my soul and mind. I forget the drama from the night before and the news from this morning. All of that slips away. I have the mindset of a burden free kid, and I love it. My parents share a protective force field, an unbreakable energy of unconditional love.  Maybe I don't miss being in love...I miss the blanket of love. This must be how the womb feels...clingy and safe...nurturing and healing.  
 My mom let's go before my dad. "Come here, you two. Thank you so much for being here for her." 
 I can't see what's happening because I'm buried in my dad's shoulder. I'm sure mom is hugging them. "Dad, let go now." I laugh and try to free myself.  I lose; his hold is like a grizzly bear.  
 "Not yet." 
 "Mom?" I hackle. "Save me." 
 "Dear, let go."  
 "Five more seconds." He lessens his hold across my back little by little before releasing me back to my original height. "Hi, princess." His sappy eyes observe me. "Are you sure you're okay?" I nod. "You can tell us the truth." 
 "Don't pry, Bill." Mom takes me by the hand and guides me to a small sofa in front of the tv. "Now...how..." 
 "I thought you said no prying?"  
 "Oh, hush." My mom flicks her hand at him as we sit. "Now, how exactly were you given private doctors? Did you ask for donations to afford it? The charity helped you with it, right?" Her eyes, which are way lighter than mine, inquiry.  
 "Yeah." 
 "Umm...no." Lil joins us, sitting on the ledge of the couch. "A hot ass rich guy helped her. A single one." 
 "There's no proof that he's single," I argue. 
 "If he isn't, you're close to the top of his list, if not first." 
 "A rich guy gave you doctors?" My mom's tone is hyper now. "How attractive is he? Has he made a move?" 
 Before I can even open my mouth, Lil says, yes, yes, and yes. His name is Jace Harrison. He pampered the shit out of your daughter at his mansion, and she won't even give him a chance." 
 "Mansion? You were at a mansion?" 
 "For a week." 
 I mean mug Lil who grins. "I was." 
 "Why would you leave?!" Mom chuckles in incredulity.  
 My dad comes from the kitchen with a cooler bottle against his bushy, brown beard. "Probably because rich men are self centered asses. My daughter has values." 
 "He wasn't an ass." Jess defends. "Maddy almost died." 
 "Yes...that tumble from the car was scary." 
 "No...she almost died after, in the hospital." 
 "The doctors overlooked bleeding on her brain for hours." Lil continues.  
 "Jace came to the rescue and transferred Maddy just in time. His medical team saved her from dying." My mom and dad sights ping pong between the two of them.  
 "That's what you meant by a private medical team?" My dad queries. 
 "Yeah." 
 "The top doctors in the state aided her...all free of cost." My bestie clarifies.  
 "Hmm..." Dad takes a swig of alcohol with much reluctance. "Maybe I judged too soon." 
 "That's where she gets it from; you're the culprit." Lil points at him animatedly.  
 Dad ups his hands like a victim. "I accept that crime." 
 "She's so stubborn. We told her Jace is interested, but she still didn't go for him." Jess rolls her eyes. 
 "Am not! I had a boyfriend at the time. I was being loyal." I retort, upsettingly.  
 "Oh, well, that makes sense." Mom shrugs.  
 Jess sniggers uncontrollably. "Mrs. Hart, you would not say that if you saw how he looks." 
 "Brad was cute." I defend. 
 Lil shakes her head. "Cute isn't super sexy."  
 "Oh, let me see." Mom raises her brows.  
 "Or not," Dad complains.  
 "Okay, don't let me see....sorry dear." She tilts her head back on the sofa to apologize to her touchy husband.  
 "He's not that amazing." 
 "Your daughter is downplaying Jace." I squint at Lil. "She couldn't keep her eyes off him at the country club." 
 "Oh, so you met him while on the job?" Mom watches me now.  
 "Yeah." 
 "She all but drooled over the guy." 
 "Then what's the problem? Go for him." 
 "I hope you don't dismiss me that fast for a rich, hot guy." Dad fusses as he returns to the kitchen.  
 "Oh no, my husband, I'll never do that. We're soulmates." She speaks louder so he can hear her, while sharing a sly look with us three. We laugh at her deceitful expression. It's even more hilarious because I've done this look before. Only this time, it isn't my face. I look exactly like my mom; I'm only taller with a lankier face. She's babydoll faced. "Show me him." Mom whispers and trades over her phone to Lil, as slick as a fox.  
 "Don't overreact, mom." 
 "Why would I?" 
 "Just don't." 
 Lil gives her back her phone. "I don't get why you're saying..." Her eyes buck in response to Jace's searched images. "Oh!" She holds a hand to her chest.  
 "Mom..." I cover my eyes. "I don't wanna see you horny!" 
 "Madison...this man." 
 "Correction, beauty god." Jess amends.  
 "Beauty god, God of the beauty...erotica guy." Mom blurts like a teenage girl. "Dreamboat." 
 "Guys, why did you do this to my mom?" I groan.  
 "At least kiss him." 
 "Mom?" 
 "I'm sure you've done so in your dreams." 
 "Can we change the subject?" 
 Mom tilts her head to my friends in a cock sure manner. "That means yes." 
 I get up from the couch. "We have burgers; I'll whip up some." I tune out their giggles before they irk me. I go to the fridge for the burgers, take out a pan, and plot three inside it.   Fine, he's a beauty, God. That doesn't mean I have to go to him. Brad is still fresh in my mind. If I reveal the truth about that night, they'll see why I'm so against being with a guy right now. I need time to leave my ex behind before I attempt again. If I can even accept another at all. I was almost raped. I hate my body. I'm afraid to get into a car. The death of Henry rubbed me the wrong way. Who killed him? Brad? He was going to before...but as the news said, it's most likely a hired hit. 
 There's too much wrong with me to consider Jace. That island offer was yet another try to have me. Just was him asking if I'm single, it was all there. I was bullheaded...and too into Brad to recognize his investment. Did his last words about freeing myself have two meanings?? Was he referring to escaping the toxic relationship and running to him? Was that what he meant by freeing myself?   I did daydream about kissing him. For the first few weeks of noticing him at the country club, I dreamt of him. It wasn't in a sexual sense. We were alone in the banquet hall, alone, yet far away. Tables away. All we did was watch each other with intense glances I can only compare to x-ray vision. Souk sharing, eye contact.  
 
 I swear our heat signatures were one...I swear our eyes linked despite the distance. His impaling, sage eyes would empty me when I woke up. His contoured cheeks and luscious hair subdued my functionality. We never blinked in these dreams...and the fantasies left once I faced rejection. He never looked my way in real life.  
 
 "We'll drop it." My mom says from beside me. "I can tell you don't like him like that."  
 I tick on the stove's eye and breathe raggedly. "I do like him...I just can't give myself right now. Or ever. I don't know." 
 "Aww, don't say that...you'll get better." 
 "The breakup with my ex, was really bad. He wanted sex...I didn't." 
 "Well, that's his loss; forget him. Guys think there's no timeframe to us losing our virginity. There is. We don't give it right away...that's our choice. I'm so proud that you stuck to your rule." She pinches my cheek. "I remember when you first told me you wanted to wait for a ring. 16 years old. And I thought, oh, that won't last, no way. All the boys at school, the one you went on prom with...the pretty college boys at the mall. I doubted you would resist all of them. But you did. I'm proud of your willpower. It'll help you through whatever you're facing right now. Keep that spirit and mend yourself...then try for love again. I have no doubt you'll find a husband." 
 I grin at her wise words. "I really needed to hear that." I sniffle.  
 "I know...I can tell something is bothering you. It's not just your accident. You'll overcome it and be the best version of yourself sooner than you think. Men can go on a back burner for now. Until you're ready again." She clenches her teeth and repents her words. "Maybe not all men...I need to thank this Jace guy for helping you." 
 
 
 
 Chapter 18: Metamorphosis 
  In the morning, mom cooks pancakes and sausages. Dad is snoring on the let out sofa. I chuckle at his sprawled out body. I slept great last night. The best rest ever, to be honest. I think I needed a pep talk from my mom this whole time. I do need to forget Brad. As Lil said, I need to keep telling myself to leave him. I'm going to work on it day by day. Mom has on a flower mom-moo sleep dress, and her hair is tussled across her head.  She looks like she went to a hardcore party last night...all we had were cooler drinks.  "Morning, mom." I greet, wrapped up in my sheet. 
 "Hey, hon, how'd you sleep?"  
 "Like a baby." 
 "He he he, I should snap a pic next time and compare it to your baby pictures." 
 "That's...kinda creepy, mom." 
 "Not when it's your child. You'll find out one day."  
 I go to the cabinets and unload plates and glasses. "I'll probably need my food to go." 
 "You're working?" 
 I scoot a glance her way. "Yeah...at the country club, remember?" 
 She flips a pan of sausages with a white spatula. "No...Why not take some time off for peace of mind?" 
 "I did." I go to the fridge for orange juice. "Staying home got repetitive...and boring. I was alone with my thoughts too much."  
 "Bad thoughts?" Mom lowers the knobs on the stove and faces me.  
 "Yeah." My eyes tunnel vision onto the heating pancake batter, at the tiny bubbles atop the yellow mix. 
 "Can I know what?” 
 I open the juice and fill the glasses. "It wasn't just one thing. I was bothered about the accident, how my skin was impacted—worried about my ex, distracted about Jace. Lost in life. Staying home only made my mind more twisted than it already was." 
 "What about your skin?" She tries to evaluate it, but I'm all wrapped up in the sheet. "Is it healing wrong?" 
 "No...I just don't like the marks."  
 "We can hit the spa and have them exfoliated, you can get some good cream too." 
 "Maybe." 
 "Now...is it okay to talk about the hunk or no?" 
 "Mom..." I shake my head and cap the juice carton.  
 "Well, you just brought him up, so..." 
 "Just don't...do what you did last night." I cringe. 
 "Okay, I won't." She grins and goes back to preparing breakfast. "You said you were distracted by him? Why?" 
 I sip on a cup of orange and drink before saying, "he made advances." 
 "What kind?" 
 "You'll scold me if I say it. Just know me was pretty forward." 
 "I won't be mad, swear to God." She holds a hand up. 
 "Umm...well, the first real advance was him asking if I worked the next day...then after that, he asked if I was single." 
 "I get why you didn't make a move....you were with that Brad guy." 
 "Yeah...but Brad was getting too hot headed and started losing his attractiveness." 
 "Still, you stuck by him." 
 "I was tempted with Jace...he offered a getaway to his island." Mom spins around to gape at me. "It was nice and all, but I felt like I would have owed him for such a vacation." 
 My mom opens and closes her mouth a few times, flabbergasted at my words. Her hand wavers the air to compute her bewilderment. "Hon...you." Mom stammers. "How could you turn that down? I mean, okay, I get you had a boyfriend, but that's an unbelievable trip. Was it free of cost too?" I drink. instead of answering, she takes this as a yes. "Oh wow...it seems he is very into you to do all that, care after you...plan you a getaway, save your life. Assign you, top doctors." 
 "Yeah...he did a lot for me." 
 "Lily is right about you needing to give Jace a chance." 
 "I'm not in the best shape right now." 
 "I'll help you get there." Mom flips the pancake over. "Spa days, girl nights, shopping, we can even do dance work out. You need to take a leave from work; you're throwing yourself back in way too soon. Take a few weeks off or a month. I'm sure your boss will understand." She points to a plate. I take it over to her and watch her transfer the pancake onto it. Mom glops more batter in the pan for the next.  
 "That'll be fun."  
 "It will; us four girls can hit the town." 
 "Yeah, we should do that." 
 I decide to go on a leave of absence from work until further notice. These weeks are full of fun times with my girls and my mom. Dad is too busy watching sports and stuffing his face to care to join us. We hit up a spa for facials, pore extraction, and hydration masks. My mom informs one worker that I would like something for skin discoloration. "I would suggest microdermabrasion." 
 "That sounds painful..."  
 "I know the name is scary, but trust me, it's not. Think of it as a body facial. There's no pain." The worker assures me.  
 "Try it out!" Mom cheers as a lady slop yellow cream on her face.  
 "Don't be a wuss," Lil smirks through a sheet mask.  
 "How long until I see results?" 
 "Depends on how damaged your skin is." 
 "Umm, I had an accident with bad body scarring. My skin is healed now. I just hate the uneven skin tone." 
 The worker gives me a hesitant look. "I'm afraid serious scarring won't be as impacted by the treatment." 
 "Oh..." I frown.  
 "I mean, you could still try it. The treatment will slightly improve your condition." I debate this and stare ahead pensively. "There's a lightning cream I can recommend that works within a few weeks." 
 "I'll try that...thank you."  
 "I'll get that ready for you." The employee leaves to the main desk, right in front of the storefront windows. The spa is in the dead center of downtown: tall buildings, congested streets, and sidewalks. 
 My spa specialist spreads cool, yellow gel across my face. We hit the bar a lot. Although I'm a bartender, I don't drink very much. Holidays and my birthday are a given. Other than that, I don't drink. I order a strawberry lemonade with a shot of Hennessey. Jess order Pina Coladas for her and Lily. Mom gets an Expresso Martini. Most of the time, we walk the city streets in cute outfits and window shop. The designer stores are too overpriced to step foot in.  I wish I could clothes for free again; there's a mini dress I need to own. Of course, I'll wear tights with it and powder everywhere else. I hope this cream works fast so that I can get out of this phase of low self-esteem.  I wear dressy outfits instead of dresses, as everyone else is.  I know I must look crazy on the scorching days, but I blend in at night.  
 There are karaoke nights...of course. Everyone participates, even dad. He selects all Johnny Cash songs with a realistic country accent, despite us being from Western America. Lil and Jess duet Zombie by The Cranberries. Mom is a die Janis Joplin fan, so she does a great, over the top performance of Cry Baby. I find it hard picking a song, so Lil chooses for me. Gimme More by Britney. Her meaning behind this one is evident. I eye her, fed up. My bestie begins the song and hypes me up to sing and sway her hips invitingly. Jess claps along. Mom laughs, and dad is uncomfortable with the provocative lyrics. My slutty side peeks out some, not too much. My parents are around.  
 Tonight, we watch Gone With The Wind with extra cheese popcorn. It's been a month now, and I feel somewhat better.  My scares have lightened some but not enough to my liking. I still feel gross. Undesirable.  My constant habit of stalking Jace online is still active . I'd like to know what he's up to...and if he has another woman. Why would he wait after all my rejections? The first ones I meant, the last one, I regret. I was so tangled in Brad. I wish I weren't. I haven't thought too much about him. I've had a few moments of weakness when going to bed. We shared a bed, so that's gonna leave a stain—his lips on mine and him kissing my wounds. That's going to leave a stain. 
 "Dudes, she creeping on his page again," Lil exposes me. 
 "Why would you-" 
 "Eh, I'm bored." She snorts, cuddled up with Jessica's arm.  
 "How long has she been doing that?" Mom, whose feet are across dad's lap, leans forward to eye me. 
 "Probably since they first talked...I remember following you around." Dad adds.  
 "But women can't do that. We can't be that desperate. A guy will not like that." 
 "He doesn't know I'm on his page, and it's not stalking when someone's a public figure who tweets all day." 
 "There she goes with excuses." Jess laughs. 
 "No excuses, hon, let him come to you." Mom retorts wisely.  
 "We need to get you ready for Sunday. That's when he's at the country club." Jess explains to my parents. 
 “Yep, we need to do a skin detox." 
 "My bumps are horrible." I pout over my new pimples. "Let's do it again." 
 "I say just tell him outright; trust me, men like straightforward chats. Don't draw it out." Dad teaches. 
 "No...she has to draw it out...or Jace will think she's easy." 
 "Guys, I haven't said I'm ready to talk to him again." I end my parents' argument.  
 Mom sighs. "Dear, the marks are barely noticeable, and you're in better spirits. Why not take a strike at it? 
 "No, not a strike, home run inn."  
 "Oh, whatever, she gets what I mean." 
 For the next five days, I detox from shitty food and consider Sunday.  Is Jace still interested in me? What if I make a fool of myself? I am in a better mood...I'm happier, less depressed. What if going for the move will destroy my process. I'd rather not crumble to pieces because of a man again. My soul can't afford the damage. I'll just chat if he comes over. I won't show interest until he does. Jace has to come to me, although he's done it plenty of times. I hope he does it one last time, so I know his intention. Or...I should revive my boldness and just ask if he's seeing anyone.    Dad's advice is probably the most solid. He is a man, after all, and knows how they think. 
 On Sunday, I choose to be outgoing but realistic. I can't be too eager or too afraid. I have on a little foundation for the stubborn pimples that refused to be purged. My new work shirt has a babydoll flare bottom, and my slacks are pretty modern in style. They're a mixture between jeggings and casual dress pants.  I'll need to buy more from Shein.  The banquet hall is packed. Despite the 4th of July being over, the golf grounds explode with fireworks. The music is more festive, too. It's pop jazz with a drum bass line.  I'm getting a steamy Christmas vibe.  I wait for the guest to approach the bar, but most have half full drinks. Turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, and veggies are the main course. I grin at a little girl who has a potato mustache and at a boy who pops peas at other tables.  
 A lot of guests are dancing more than their sitting. The dance floor is lit up white and is centered on the floor. The intimacy of the couple's hands turns me all mushy. I'm mystified by the body contact as they sway to the enticing music. "Dance with me." 
 My longing gaze scans from the couples and to Jace. Who snuck up on me. "I'm working." 
 "I could have words with your boss." His slender face and high cheeks try to bewitch my fingers to touch them. I hide them under the bar counter.  
 "I'm not dressed for that, anyway." 
 Jace's seafoam eye dissects my uniform. "So?" 
 "So...I'm working."  
 "The place isn't busy."  
 I review his silver suit. "I'll look like an idiot next to you." 
 "Then...how about we go outside." 
 I giggle. "You'll get me fired." 
 He grins at my glee. "You're in a better mood than last time. I assume you took my advice and left your boyfriend."  
 "Perhaps..." I peer to the side.  
 "I knew you'd use your brain." 
 "I can't take all the credit...I have a strong support base. If I didn't, I'd still be with Brad. I'm not as smart as you think I am."  
 "Hmm...even geniuses have bad judgment." 
 "Oh, you're a dumb genius. I would have never thought it." 
 "You'd be surprised." 
 I sit a tall glass on the counter. "Tell me your worst decision ever made? I'll return the surprise in drink form." 
 "Alright, I'm game." He watches me concoct a mystery drink. "A ring sized phone. The design was too small, the system too complex...on top of a screen malfunction." I gather one ounce of rum, tequila, vodka, whiskey, granulated sugar, and cola. "I know what that is." 
 "Damn..." I huff. "Well, that was anti climatic."  
 "I wouldn't say that."  
 I stir the liquors in a Collins glass, add sugar, three ice cubes, then cola. Mix it well, and serve with a straw. There's a mini twister in the glass, complete with debris esque dots from the sugar. "Enjoy the tornado." 
 His olive eyes remain on my hands instead of the drink. "Have dinner with me.” 
 “You haven't tasted it." 
 "I'm sure it's great." His silky voice clatter my insides. "Rooftop dining, how does that sound?" 
 "I doubt you're single." 
 "I could be...if you'd like." I gush and take the drink instead. I. have to extinguish my inner burning. He smiled crookedly, aware of why I stole his beverage. "Is that helping?" 
 "Hmm mm," I mumble mid sip.  
 "You know...gasoline only displeases fire." 
 I finish the tornado and slam the glass down. "It doesn't." 
 Jace leans his enormous upper half over the bar and grazes his fingers down my cheekbones. "How about now?" My gut blazes. When his hot palm holds my face, I shudder and lose control of my eyelids. "Have dinner with me."  
 "No." I play. 
 "I never met a woman who stood up a billionaire." 
 "Now you have." 
 "I don't put this much effort in unless she's worth it. Everything I did for you has to lead to something." 
 "Let me guess, dinner?" 
 He breathes through his nose at my sarcasm. "Don't you want to know why I gave you so much?" 
 I part my lips with a lick to taunt him. "That's easy...sex." 
 "No." He raises a daring brow. "You think so little of me, Madison." 
 I fall victim to the heat of his hand on my face and my name dripping from his seamless lips.  "Tell me why?"  
 His radiator palm slides from my face and down my shirt's sleeve. "Dinner. I'm sure you look amazing in a dress." 
 I pull away from the counter with a dodgy demeanor. "I don't..." I remark dully.   
 "What do you mean?"  
 I don't respond to his befuddled question. My mind time walks back to the bloody nightmare I had lying in darkness on the street. To the bandages that were all over my body to the current scars. I absentmindedly tug the cuffs on my sleeves lower. "I'm not free tonight." 
 He says my name one more time in an even more uncertain tone.  I guess he didn't pick up on my insecurity. I'm kind of glad he didn't. I'm sick of people telling me my injuries aren't that bad. That's easy to say from the outside looking in. I feel how I feel; there's no changing that. This was dumb of me. I'm not ready to date...or see anyone. My support system prematurely influenced me.  I keep quiet and start prepping wine and cocktail beverages. Jace's stare is felt, even when a line of guest come to order. As I create their drinks, I wonder why he hasn't left.  I told him I'm not free tonight, although I have no plans. That was a cop out.  
 The eye contact I share with the customers is brief to evade Jace's gaze. I can't help but clock his expression. There's wonder and a hint of sourness.  There I go wrecking his intentions again. I hoped for a better talk...a significant chat. My sudden lack of interest must hurt him. Jace must think I'm bipolar...I'm not. I don't know what I am. I'm lost. I tried giving him a chance...but now isn't the time. Now may even be the last time.  Once customers disperse, Jace moves back in from of the bar. "I want to know what you meant."  
 "I'm not free tonight." 
 "No...the other part. Why did you disagree about being amazing in a dress?"  
 I wipe my work area. "Did you forget that I jumped out of a car and tore half my skin off?" 
 "If the healing process isn't to your liking, my doctors can-" 
 "No, it's not that...the skin is healed." 
 "So, what's the problem?" 
 I meet his attentive eyes. "I'm... I'm the problem. I need more time to adjust to the permanent marks." 
 "So...it's a body image issue?" 
 "More like a...mind issue. I can't wear anything that doesn't hide the places, despite seeing improvement. Even if the spots go away, I'll still be conscious of them." I confess sullenly.  
 "Why?" 
 "Maybe you'd have to go through it to understand." 
 "I've seen the damage...I'm aware of how bad it was. Still, it's been over a month; there's no way you look worse. Your head is tricking you." His eyes drop from mine and to my hand, where there's little discoloration. "I can refer you to a specialist if you'd like." 
 "I'm not crazy," I reply defensively. 
 "Needing help doesn't make you crazy...the car, your near heart attack, and now this. No one can survive that much trauma on their own. I've attended sessions myself; therapy isn't for insane people." He lectures sincerely. 
 "Did it help you?" 
 "Yes." His reassuring eyes reach mine. 
 "I don't know...I think I just need to figure it out on my own. Thanks for the suggestion, though."  
 Jace scoffs and grows agitated. "I should have stood by my last goodbye. You might not know this, but I don't get this invested just for the hell of it. Usually, there's whining and dining, sex, cash, and onto the next. I'm not even sure why I'm still trying with you. There hasn't been any payback...yet I keep putting myself on the line." He inhales deeply. "Now I'm sharing too much...while you're giving nothing."  
 "I thanked you more than once...I just got out of a bad relationship. I'm juggling life. Cut me some slack!" I feud.  
 "I tried too...twice now, you're rejecting help." 
 "I don't want to owe you. I don't know what it'll mean." 
 "Madison...I told you what would follow." 
 "Just talking and dinner?" I ridicule. "In my experience, guys want more than that after a while." 
 "You shouldn't compare all men; I mean what I say." He defends.  
 "You just said it yourself; dinner, sex, cash, and onto the next." 
 "That's how it usually goes, meaning this is an exception." He strains his point. "But...you're bias is much appreciated. I hope you get better. Goodbye, Madison." Jace steps off with a hard stride. 
 
 
 
 Chapter 19: Aid Of Love 
  "So?" Lil asks me once we're checked out and walking the crowded sidewalks.  
 "That was too soon...maybe next time." 
 "Oh...okay." She plucks her phone from her crossbody bag. "What did you two talk about?" 
 "Can you not?!" I snap.  
 "Whoa...what the hell is up?!" 
 "Letting you all pump me up to speak to him again was a mistake. I should've stayed bullheaded." 
 "Hey...no one made you speak to him tonight, so stop with that. We gave our opinions and advice. You opened your own mouth. If you want us to ban him from your life, just say it!" Lil's legs dash past me and up a yard faster than I can blink.  
 "No, I was doing fine being a silent follower. You all convinced me to give him a chance. I never asked if he was single before; I always assumed he wasn't. His online date list was proof enough." 
 Lil faces me while walking backward. "Alright, you're not ready...why keep talking to him?!" She asks, annoyed.  
 "Because he opened up to me, then killed the mood bringing up his other women and how disposable they were." 
 "Those women were on it for sex; that's why Madison. I doubt he compared them to you." 
 "No...but even if he sees me differently, how long until I get the same treatment?" 
 "I don't get how you're this judgmental?? Did Tinder screw up your head that much? All guys aren't out for sex...if Jace were, you would be out of his life. He wouldn't be giving a fuck about you! Geez, what is your problem?" 
 "I'm trusting my gut... he's not even single." 
 "Alright, that's settled. Let's drop it." Lil flings her hands into the air. 
 "Even Brad got restless and wanted sex...as nice as he was in the beginning." 
 Lil stops and steps toward me. "You can't avoid that, Maddy. I don't think you know what dating involves. It's not the olden days where men court you for a damn year! Sex happens. I get you're waiting, but you can't plan it out. Sorry...that's the truth. You have to be realistic; love doesn't work out like a fairytale. You have to jump in or get out!" 
 "I know that!" I glare at her. "And I'm sure there are men out there who would wait." 
 "Okay...then go for one, stop fussing over the timeframe. If you keep that up, you'll never be with anyone." She sighs. "Maddy, drop your high standards, just go along. That's all you can do."  
 "I'm not being picky. I tried with Brad." 
 "Then try again and again. That's how it works. Stop letting your ex fuck up your world." 
 I shut my eyes and winch. "He tried to rape me..." 
 "WHAT??!!" 
 "I can't date anyone right now.." My voice falters. 
 "Maddy, what did you just say?! Open your eyes, look at me!" I bury my face in my hands. "Maddy??" Her arms ram around me. "Oh my god! What the fuck?!" 
 "I don't want to go home; my mom will ask about Jace and think I'm dumb for turning him down." I sob. 
 "Spend a night with me and Jess. Damn it! I feel bad now. Forget everything I said." She pleads. "The M and J words are officially banned." 
 "I do want him...I'm just too complicated. I couldn't let him help me; now he's gone forever!" 
 "No...no, he's not. That man hasn't left you; he's too diligent." Her voice calms me. "But, no more men talk. Come on." Lil walks me forward; like a little child, I cling to her side. I've never been so physically distraught that I had to lean on someone for support. Gravity never felt so heavy on my bones, and I never felt so lifeless.  
 Jess senses something is up when she opens the door. My face is tear stained, and Lil is in an odd daze. "Guys...what's wrong?" 
 "I'll tell you later." Lil guides me inside with a light push to the middle of my back.  
 "Okay..." Jess examines me; I'm too numb for her liking. "Is she alright??"  
 Lil shakes her head. "She'll be in the guest room tonight."  
 "I'll get it ready." She grimaces and then goes off down a hallway.   
 "We have baked cookies; want some? I'll add extra chocolate chips." 
 "Okay..." I half whisper.  
 "Wanna watch something?" I nod. Lil takes me by the hand and to a living room with a leather recliner couch with cup holders. The flat screen is 50 inches. She sits down with me and searches for the remote. Finding it on the bottom of the coffee table. "Did it only happen once?" She side eyes me. 
 "Yeah...the last time I saw him." 
 "Why did he do it?" 
 "He said he gets mad when he's jealous."  
 "Fuck that excuse!" Lil puffs. "What's his address?" Her deadly calmness frightens me.  
 "Don't." 
 "What do you mean, don't?" 
 "Please?" 
 Lil flop back hard onto the sofa. "I just want to have some words with him." The calculated threat is still present in her tone.  
 Jessica treads in. "The room is ready." 
 "Sit with her. I'm gonna put on some cookies."  
 The two swap places. Jess surveys us both with utter alarm. "Tell me what's going on!" She scoots closer to hold my hands.  
 Can I say it again? Is this good for me? Saying it aloud can't be as damaging as keeping it bottled up. My mom mentioned recovery... Jace suggested therapy. Isn't talking it out the same as therapy?  "Brad tried to take advantage of me...he wouldn't stop." 
 "He what?!" Her eyes double in size. 
 I winch again and force out the same sentence. "He tried to rape me..."  
 She covers her mouth. "No!" 
 "Jess, come here," Lil says from the hall. She isn't mad but has a strange undertone.  
 "Umm...I'll be back."  
 When she leaves, and I'm alone on the couch, I strain my ears to listen. The two are in the kitchen, so I quietly get up to eavesdrop. I tiptoe to the sidewall of the hall. "She has to give me his address," Lil mutters. "Try asking her." 
 "Baby, no, that's the last thing we need right now." 
 "I won't kill him..." 
 "Maddy doesn't need any more drama, okay?" 
 "Brad needs to answer for this. Don't worry. I won't break the baseball bat." 
 "Maddy needs to speak to someone; we need to get her help. Honestly, she should've been in therapy after the...." A floorboard beneath my feet creaks. The two fall silent. I sneak back to the couch and press the power button on the remote. The channel is on a jewelry infomercial. I hear the oven pound shut and hushed speaking. Then footsteps sound down the hall. "Maddy?" Jess rests at my side again. "I think you should try out this app called BetterHelp. You need to talk to a professional for our sake...and your parents. Could you try it?"  
 "I'll think about it," I mumble. 
 "Okay, good, that's a start." 
 "I'm not sure about talking face to face with a stranger." 
 "There's a chat option, or you could do calls? There are a lot of hotlines for trauma. You need to consider seeking help." 
 "I know..." 
 "You can't do this alone...and we can only help you so much." 
 "You guys are helping a lot so far," I grin wearily.  
 "Good." Jess pats my hands. My phone buzzes from my back pocket. "Just keep an open mind about therapy." She says tearfully before standing to give me the room.  
 I watch her stroll down the hall, overwhelmed by her compassion. My phone is who's calling. I prepare myself by clearing my throat and wiping my eyes. "Hey, mom." 
 "Oh, you're okay." She laughs. "Forgive me for having PTSD. Are you still working?" 
 "No, I'm at Jessica's place. I'm spending the night." A raspy note disturbs my steady voice.  
 "You sound sad." 
 "Mom...do you think I should try therapy?"  
 "If that's what you feel you should do, yes. Do you want to try it?" 
 "So far, talking with you and my friends eased my mind." 
 "So attending a session will help even more."  
 "Right..." 
 "What made you think of this? You're girls?" 
 "Yeah." I omit Jace from the answer to steer clear of exciting her. 
 "We all care about your well being and would love to see you healthy. Don't you?" 
 "I do." I sniffle. 
 "Then get better and rest. You sound exhausted." 
 "Okay." 
 "Goodnight, my princess." 
 "Goodnight, mom. Let dad know where I am." 
 When the cookies are done, I down ten along with milk. Lil baked a whole carton. The plate has at least sixty in count. We watch The Power Puff Girls, it's the most suitable and doesn't involve romance. My girls sandwich me on each side and cradle my hands. I end up dozing off on my bestie's lap like a baby with my legs across Jess's. I don't remember being brought to bed. I wake in an all cream bedroom with wild hair. I get up and stare at the golden curtains which ripple in the summer wind. My nose detect the heated concrete and freshly cut grass fragrances from outside. I get up and swipe the curtain to the side. Lil mows the lawn under a high sun. She's seething as she pushes the growling machine. 
 As I go downstairs, I tie my hair back. Jess is in the kitchen roasting strudel in a toaster. "Morning." 
 "Hey, morning." 
 "Your phone is in the third drawer." She points to net right. "Lil tried to get Brad's address. We had a fight." 
 "I told her no." 
 "I did, too; she has a bad thirst for revenge. She might beat him to death." 
 "Yeah."  
 "I'm glad you can talk about him. That's progress." She saves me the creamy, toasty bread. "Did you tell your mom?" 
 "No...I'm working up to it. It's easier telling you two." 
 "That's true; parents tend to amplify shit. It's their over protectiveness. Your dad will hunt him down." 
 I laugh. "A killer lumberjack" 
 "Netflix's next big thing." Jess winks, then bites into the cream filled strudel. 
 The back door is thudded inward. Lil wipes sweat from her forehead. She's less pissed. "Hey." 
 "Hey." I smile. 
 "I'm done trying to be a murder...for now."  
 "I love that you're taking up a vigilante lifestyle for me."  
 "I'm Batman." She giggles.  
 "And Batman needs to eat." Jess tosses a hot danish at her.  
 Lil catches it. "You'll never defeat me, hot woman. Try as you might." Her deepened voice almost makes me choke on my breakfast. "You poisoned your danishes, robin, noooo! I'll save you!" She sprints to me and hits my back. 
 "I love you." Jess beams. "Batman." 
 "I have my sight set on another, robin,  come away with me. To the batmobile!" 
 "Staaappp!" I hold my stomach and snort breathlessly.  
 Lil chuckles and ends the act. "Feeling better?" 
 "Loads."  
 "Jess is right about therapy."  
 "I'm going to sign up today."  
 "Yay!" Jess happy dances. 
 "You know..," Lil summons her Batman voice again. "I should have seen to a quack...after my parents died. I'm a monster, a bad guy, a rich fucker, on top of possibly being...the joker."  
 "You need to stop!" I double over in laughter." 
 "But, seriously, that's a huge step. Let's invite your folks over too. The more, the merrier." 
 "Let's." I agree with a nod. 
 "Now, let me get back to lawn work." She devours the danish.  
 Jess tilts her head to the side. "Isn't Batman rich? Why do your own lawn?" 
 "My secret identity is that...I'm poor." Lil mimics a cape motion, then runs to the door and out.  
 "I'll glad a comic book character saved her from killing." I giggle. 
 Jess goes to close the door. "I want to ask you something."  
 I take in her critical tone and squint. "Sure, what?" 
 "I hope it's not weird for you." 
 "Why would it be?" She sits at a nook area in the kitchen and pats the bench. I follow her request and sit next to her. "Jess?"  
 "I can't get a read on Lil, so I have to ask you." 
 "Huh?"  
 Her pale eyes, which contrast with her jet black hair, scan the door. I admire how the sun gives her an otherworldly makeover. After a few seconds of surveilling the back door, she asks, "how does she feel about marriage? I can drop it if it's too touchy." 
 "No, I can talk about it."  
 "Do you know?" 
 "Honestly...I've always been the one to mention it, not her. I'm guessing she's not vocal about it. Everyone wants marriage after a while." 
 "You think?" 
 "Yeah...I can ask her to be sure." 
 “ Cool, that'll work." 
 "Aww, you two will be hot brides." 
 "Burning." She snaps her finger. "Try not to ask her in an obvious way." 
 "I start it with my dream wedding, then ask about hers." 
 "Perfect." 
 My parents come over later at night; we have hot wings and macaroni. I download the BetterHelp app. It claims to have over 20k professionals. It's ranked number 1 in health and fitness. Although the tv is on a rowdy football game, I feel as if I'm the focal point of the room. The quick glances for my team are poorly executed. My dad's eyes linger too long; my mom's gaze is like a readable caution book. My girls are better at timing their peeping.  The welcome screen of the app reads: BetterHelp, y ou deserve to be happy.   What type of therapy are you looking for?   I select individual (for myself).  Personal questions follow gender, age, orientation, etc. I'm transparent about my reason for seeking the app. I choose depression, trauma, self confidence, can't find a purpose in life. The last selection surprises me. When the communication option comes, I halt my tapping.  Should I speak over the phone or chat?  
 The third choice, not sure yet, is what I tap. The price is $65 a week...$58 with a promo code.  Oh...I thought it'd be free. Whatever, I want to join.  I purchase and go to schedule a chat. There's one available at 10 pm, which is ten minutes away. That's the last slot.  That's too short. I'd like a longer chat . I book tomorrow, Tuesday at the earliest, 11 am. "I did it!" I announce. "My chat is tomorrow at 11 am." The rumble of claps and whistles from my crew swells my heart three times bigger. For the next 4 days, I chat with a specialist. Our chats are pretty personal. I guess I trust the degree behind the person on the other side. I trust their help. I read all of our messages on the way to work. 
 
 Session with Haesue Jo:  
 
 
 
 Hello, thank you for joining BetterHelp and reaching out for accomplishment!  
 
 
 My name is Haesue Jo. Please introduce yourself and state your reason for becoming a member :) 
 
 
  There is no judgment, no invasion of privacy, and all chats are confidential. You're in good hands <3 
 
 
 ️ 
 
 
 
 
 Hello, my name is Madison Hart. This is my first seeking help. I'm here because of a horrible car accident. You may have heard of me on the news—the Uber accident. Anyway, I'm here because of that and because I lost confidence and experienced a near rape. I hope you can help. 
 
 
 
 
 Yes, I have assisted over a thousand clients who faced war PTSD, trauma, neglect, loss of family, sexual abuse, domestic violence, etc. I want you to know that trauma is worldwide, and there is a way to combat it. I have heard of that terrible assault. I hope you are well now <3 
 
 
   
 
 
 
 
 I'm working to be.  
 
 
 
 
 Any effort is progress. Please tell me what obstacles you're facing?  
 
 
 
 
 I believe my body is forever bruised even though my wounds are healed. 
 
 
 
 
 Why do you feel so? 
 
 
 
 
 I never saw a grotesque body...other than in a horror movie. I've never been so patched up head to toe, either. These images never leave me...I have nightmares about them.  
 
 
 
 
 Does your body frighten you? 
 
 
 
 
 Yes. I don't show any skin when I go out because I feel offensive. I pat makeup over the skin I can't cover up.  
 
 
 
 
 How bad are the healed marks? 
 
 
 
 
 There's light discoloration now that I'm using a cream.  
 
 
 
 
 Is the cream satisfying your mind? Or is it another way to hide? 
 
 
 I don't know . 
 
 
 We'll figure that out in time. I want you to begin repetitive affirmations starting today. Affirmations are repeated positive statements which inspire positive results. Repeating a phrase influences and triggers your subconscious mind for positive action and belief. What's bothering you the most at the moment?  
 
 
 
 
 My ex tried to rape me. 
 
 
 Today repeat the phrase: it isn't my fault. I will overcome their evil act. Meditate these words ten times today and report back tomorrow.  The other phrase I was given was: The driver can't hurt me anymore. I am in a safe space. There is no harm. The one for my skin dilemma is: yes, I have flaws and always will; they represent survival and strength. I am one with them, and so is my mind. My new assignment is to repeat all three for an hour while meditation to high frequency trance music. That honestly sounds like witchcraft.  At sunset, I clean the entire bar; each station is shiny when I'm done. The tables are mostly empty; only a few pairs sit at them. Others are on the grounds. On my break, I listen to the music and quietly chant the phrase. There is less burden on my mind this time around, and I'm more optimistic about life. I fall asleep doing the same; I even believe I spoke the words in my dreams. My dreams are airy now, airy and cloudy. I think I'm flying or gliding in the sky. Whatever I'm doing, it's feeding my adrenaline and my joy. Come Sunday, day 6. I hum at work and am a lot more preppy than before. I'm back in my boss lady groove and am even more quick and vain with my craft. Lil smiles proudly at me nonstop and thumbs me up from afar. I roll up my sleeves to test my newfound limit. For a short period, I'm able to withstand the exposed skin but cower and cover it with haste.  Maybe that was too soon. I'll give it another week. I do want to wear pretty fashion again. I miss my skin breathing in air. It's been trapped for so long. I miss dresses. Miss my body baking in the sun. Hopefully, I'll get that back—one step at a time. 
 On week 2, my posse throws a party, complete with a cake and candles. "We're so proud of you; keep going, princess. You're looking great." Dad compliments. 
 "We got you some club outfits; we're dancing tomorrow." Jess hands me a wrapped box.  
 "What kind?" 
 "Think emo school girl in the winter." She smiles. "It fits your current taste." 
 Lil jiggles her present, a tiny box. Kind of like a ring bearing sized box. I accept it from her and listen to the side of it as I wiggle it. "Friendship bracelet!" She flashes her wrist to reveal a charm jewelry with the letter BF engraved. "Or you can switch that around." 
 "You girls!" Mom hackles at the risque joke. "Our turn." She gives a long box to me. I eye dad for an answer. "Nope, don't ask what it is. It's a surprise; open it." I unwrap the gift with untested eagerness; my fingers nearly claw the box apart. When I unfold it and peer inside, there's a long picture board of me as a baby, bubble baths, cake face smiles, me in a onesie, on my training wheel bike. My kid years, my award phase, my bang phase, and high school graduation—me on a cap and gown, throwing up a peace sign. I'm speechless of the vital moments in my life and collapse from how overpowered I am by the passion and devotion to speaking.  
 "One, two, three!" Lil counts. "Happy 2 weeks recovery to you." My group sings the birthday tune, cramming the long title in fast to fit the flow. "Happy 2 weeks recovery to you. Happy 2 weeks, happy two weeks, Happy 2 weeks recovery to you!!" 
 "Blow out the candles," Jess smirks darkly.  
 "Keep your tongue in." Lil snorts. 
 "You girls, be good." Mom laugh. 
 "Be sure to make a wish." Dad smiles. I close my eyes and shift my body forward, knowing what my wish is without having to ponder. I whoosh out a gush from my mouth and smother the tiny fires. 
 
 
 
 Chapter 20: Second Chance 
  As soon as Lil and I walk into work, Mr. Thompson strides over. "Madison, I need to see you in my office." 
 "Oh..." I peer at Lily and then back at him with trepidation. "Is it something bad?" 
 "Just come with me." He wags a finger my way.  
 My feet stumble after him. My boss walks me up the stairs and to the left. We pass the banquet hall and head to his office. "Is this about a customer? I might have been too swaggering with a few last week. Is that it? Did someone complain?" 
 "No, you're not in trouble." 
 "Then what..." I rummage my mind for another reason. "Did I forget to lock up? Or missed clock out?" 
 Thompson stops in front of his door. "No."  
 "Sorry, I don't mean to be rude, but you're being pretty cryptic."  
 He opens the door to his cluttered office. I spot a huge, white box glistening on the desk before I realize Jace. He's in all black, ripped arms busting from a suede shirt. Black belted jeans; his hair behind one ear and the other side hanging. He's never worn this kind of suggestive outfit around me before.  
 "Thank you, Mr. Thompson." 
 "You're welcome, sir." My boss waves me to go in. "In you go, Madison." 
 This is freaky! I wished to see him again now that I'm improving. And here he is. Sitting on my boss's desk...waiting like a prowling panther. I want to scratch his clothes off! My sex drive has been repressed for far too long...it's vigorously hungry.  I step inside, spelled by his sparky eyes. The door closes behind me. The slam of the wood flutters my bean.  We're alone...without a medical condition to restrict use. Oh no... "Hello again, Madison." His bassy tone taunts me. 
 "I thought it was goodbye." 
 "I guess that one was like the last, meaningless." 
 "Why is that?" 
 Jace straightens to his full height, 6'3 to my 5'8. He's huskier now; his biceps are ridiculous in the fitted top. "You tell me?" 
 "I'm the one who's asking."  
 "So am I." 
 "We both can't be clueless." 
 "No...but we could be dumb together." He smirks. "I have something for you, as congratulations." 
 "How do you-" 
 "My informant...our last talk bothered me. I'm happy you sought help." 
 "You can't spy on me like that." 
 "But you're spying on me. Google searches, Twitter, Facebook."  
 I flush of all color. "No, you're wrong," 
 "The phone you have, its initial IP address was my beach house. All devices are coded by my tech guy and tracked in case of theft. The service is automatic once connected to my estate's network." 
 "You've been watching me this whole time??" I panic. 
 "No, I respected your privacy, up until or last chat. Your words about your mind and body made me uneasy. I didn't like the suicidal indication." 
 I leer at him. "I'm not suicidal! Now unlink my phone and my searches!" 
 "You said I was wrong; you just contradicted yourself, darling." He paces to me; I raise my head to keep eye contact.  He's so close!  The air from his nose skims my forehead. My hands are dared to plot themselves onto his abs. I start directly at his chest. The typical three buttons are undone. "What are you thinking?" 
 "Nothing..." I pin my arms tighter to my sides. 
 "You're lying." His hands cradle my elbows, which prickle from his touch much like fizzing acid. 
 I break away to the desk. My stomach inverts itself like a suction machine. "What's in the box?" I stutter. 
 "Open it." 
 I hold my breathe until my ramming chest relaxes, and then I look down at the box. It has a smooth fabric cream bow atop it. I tug at a hanging string to untie it. The bow falls into ribbons to the side of it. The presence of Jace's body behind me makes my skin crawl. His cologne scent is very earthy and tropical; I instantly think of a boardwalk and fruity beverages. He's close again, inches from connecting his waists to mine. I zero in on the white box to dull my urge to slam into him. Inside, there's sheer wrapping paper. "It's already in a luxurious box. Why add fancy paper?" 
 "To build the same excitement as Christmas Day." 
 I grab the paper and toss it into the air like a kid and grin. The sight of pale gold and diamonds rivet me. My eyes pop at a daring, elegant gown. The hushed gold color is topped by a sprinkle of shining diamonds. The chest design is one-shouldered with a deep, curved cleavage line. There's one sleeve with a cutout; the other side is bare. The stitched waist, the short front, and a mermaid tail rock my world. "Wow!” 
 "You like it?" 
 "No...I love it!" I squeal. 
 "Try it on." 
 I twist around and almost touch his nose to mine.  It'll be so easy to kiss...it's not even a long way for my neck to stretch. This isn't the place. My boss's office is not a good place to make out.  "I'm not changing in here. My boss can walk in!" 
 "I guarantee you he won't. I'm renting his room for fifteen minutes. A 5 million payout."  
 I huff out a laugh. "You just love tossing money in the air, huh?" 
 "I do." 
 "You would love stripping." I crack. 
 He grins provokingly. "I've done a few shows." My breaths catch in my lungs. I gaze at his chest air again. I know I appear thirsty, especially when my eyes drop to his abs. "Are you picturing it?"  
 "No." I spin around.  
 "If you wear the dress tonight, I'll take off my top and let your fingers explore." He whispers into my ear.  
 "That's tempting...but I'd rather pick out my dress." 
 "I thought you loved it?" 
 "It's stunning and all...but it's not for this version of me." 
 "It was made for you." His lips trail down my earlobe. I shut my eyes. "I want you in it. Please?" 
 "That dress is for someone who feels beautiful. I used to..." 
 "You're gorgeous." 
 I shake my head. "I have to find my way back there. I'm sorry, it's an incredible gown. I just..." The touch of his lips on my neck stiffens me. His fingers firmly trace mine. Jace's veiny hand incites my core. It bubbles and contorts its organs. I smother a moan.  We can't do anything here. That's absurd. What is he thinking?!  
 "How do you feel now?" His fingertips glide up my arms. The air from his mouth deadens the skin it interacts with.  
 "Umm..." I begin but stop and lessen a body shudder. His hands are near my side breast now. "I-" My voice fails to complete a sentence. His touch is too distracting...too magnetic to the cells in my body. My brain is mush.  
 "Repeat after me, Madison." His hands move up my shoulders and then to my collarbone. "I feel incredible." 
 "I can't...I can't say that." I stumble on my words.  
 "You can; you just need more inspiration." His hold on my collarbone glides to my neck; he kisses it like a starved victim. His tongue stabs between the smooches. My hand grasps backward at his pants and clutch. I sigh and groan. "Say it." I pant wildly when his hands claw into my sides.  
 The bones in my body quake. "I feel, feel in-incredible," I speak meekly.  
 "You can do better than that." He lifts me like a feather and turns me to face him. I rest my hands on the sides of his neck. Jace's lashes flutter from this gesture. He walks me to a wall, pins me on it, and props a knee between my legs. "Try again." 
 I stare down at him defiantly. "I think I need more motivation..." My hands slide down his chest while his go to my hips.  
 Jace wraps one of my legs around his body, then drops me, so I sit on his knee.  He pushes by the middle of my back and up to his knee. His free hand clutches my ass. I hiss through my teeth and feel a load of cum pressurize in my abdomen. "I feel incredible." I puff out the words. 
 "You're almost there." His palm squeezes my stomach, and his face cages mine in.  I believe he's about to kiss me! Yes, please.  Jace's lips hover over mine before biting the bottom of my chin.  No! Why is he down there?  
 The hand he has on my back polls my lower half up and down his knee. The friction against my cherry is hard and long. I moan aggressively now. All the things he's doing to me at once, the pushing of my back, the attack on my stomach, my slipping waist, the biting. "I feel incredible!" I wail and shriek.  
 Jace removes his knee and drops me from the wall. "I'm glad you agree." He simpers into my neck.  
 "Why'd you stop?!"  
 "Because I want more than sex from you, darling." He withdraws his face and pecks my chin. "I'll arrive at your place at 7:30, wear the dress. That's an order." He backs away, eyeing me head to toe. "You look incredible." His breathing lengthens the compliment to an appetizing drawl. I watch him exit the room with a stimulated glare.  That wasn't fair.  I stand by the wall for a few moments, staring at the spot where Jace just was. I blink, dazed by his effect on me.  What was all that with my body, stomach, skin, and mind? Am I that removed from sexual contact? I must be. But that was another level. That felt like sex...spiritual intercourse. How? And how intense can it get?  I smile to myself and bite my nails. My body is still impacted ; I'm sure I came. That was fun...spontaneous...hot. And against my will. I'm used to starting the spice. 
 I observe the bling dress; its diamonds dance under the sunlight. I tread to the body length box that hangs past the desk and slip my fingers down the fabric. The diamonds are smooth to the touch, and the golden back layer is silky.  Can I wear this?  I box it back up and shuffle around the desk, trying to figure out how I should carry it out. I grab its edge and almost tumble over with it.  It's taller than me! Ugh!  "What the fuck is that?!" I spin around. Lily's mouth is to the floor. "I just saw Jace...is that from him?" 
 My mouth curves to one side. "Maybe.” 
 "IT IS!" She runs to yank it from me and lay it on the floor. I laugh and kneel with her. Lil flings off the top. "Damn!” 
 "Double damn" 
 "You have to put this on! Let's go to the locker. I'll bar the door." Footsteps from behind cause us to whip around. Mr. Thompson gazes between us. Lil stands. "Sorry, sir, I'll get back to work. I won't bar any doors." 
 "No, no, that's alright, Davidson. No harm." His jolly deposition stuns us. 
 We share a suspicious gaze before studying our boss. "You're not mad that I plotted to tamper with company property??" 
 "No, all is fine." The fat man waves a hand. "No need to worry. Madison, you can take the day off...or the week, hell blow off the year!" 
 I gawk. "What?" 
 “Girl, take the vacay. You have to get into this dress!" 
 "Davidson, you are pardoned too." 
 "What the hell?!" Her voice raises a pitch. "Are you feeling okay, sir?" 
 "I'm more than great." I giggle at his bliss. "Go, go, have fun." Our boss summons us towards the door. 
 "I don't get this...but okay." I help her hoist the box from the floor; we each carry an end and waddle to the door. Halfway down the hall, we remove the dress from the ridiculous box. Before exiting the country club, we retrieve our belongings. Once outside, I drape the dreamy gown across my forearm as I walk. "No one gives a dress like that unless going somewhere elite. Have you finally said yes to Jace?" 
 "I had no say." 
 "Oh...he took control? Bet you're not used to that." 
 "Not at all. Omg, Lil, his body!" 
 "I saw...he wore that tight outfit on purpose, the slut. Those muscles were hulking out!" She throws up praising hands. "What went on in there?" 
 I bite my lip. "He got handsy." 
 "Yes, some action!" 
 "And close, and disrespectful with his mouth." 
 "Y'all kissed?" 
 "No." I mope. 
 "Hmmm...Jace woke up today on a mission, payback.” Lil claps. “Guys can’t face refusal that much without acting out; seems like businessmen get even." 
 "We're having dinner later...on a rooftop." 
 "Get. That. Rich. Life!" 
 This is deemed a fashion emergency. My mom drives over to my place with rose oil and demands I bathe in it for good luck. I feel like a child again, being told what to wash with. As I soak, I hear the three scampering beyond the door and demanding what shoes, jewelry, and hairstyle I should wear.  If this is how hectic modeling managers act backstage, I sympathize.  When I'm all squeaky clean, I'm sat in a chair, and Lil adds my Clinique as a 5 minute mask. Like octopuses, the three work on my hair, nails, and brows. My mom never loses the huge smile on her face. The breathtaking gown hangs from the bathroom door. I watch it, clutching my robe closer to my chest. "You can do it." Mom comforts. "Think of your prom night. Remember which princess you compared yourself to?" 
 "Sleeping beauty," I mumble. 
 "Be her again, and dance all night long with your prince." She singsongs while applying gold nail polish. 
 Lil is on face duty, of course, and chooses nude with hints of glitter along my jawline. Jess plays with my hair, pinning it up, then down, then stroking her chin. "You're hair needs to be cut." 
 "What?!" My hands dash to my head. 
 "The chest and arm style the gown has will be better complemented with short hair. Neck length, and layered." 
 "I don't know; down is fine." Lil disagrees. 
 "I think so too." Mom seconds. 
 "I'm a stylist for a reason, guys. Trust me, hanging hair will drown out the sleeve and chest design. An updo will downplay and age out the gown. It's contemporary; therefore, her hairstyle has to be too." She explains like a snob. "Plus, new hair brings a new attitude." 
 I wring my hands through my plain hair. "I guess I could try something new." 
 "Think a sexy, long bob." Jess types on her phone. 
 "It would be an out with the old in with the new kind of thing." I go on convincing myself. 
 "Look, like this." She shows me a searched image. I gaze in the mirror and at the image a few times. My hair is bland and pretty dull. This would give some flavor and more depth. My hair can't be straight; it'll be too flat. I think Jess is right; dangling hair will ruin the dress. I want this look. I need something new to motivate me to wiggle my skin into that radiant gown. "Let's try it." 
 "Yass!." She high fives me. Jess positions me opposite the sink and tilts my head over it. She washes, dyes, and oils, then chop off and style my hair. I'm half anxious and half elated to see the outcome. 
 My mom and Lil judge which heels I should wear. I watch them from the bathroom. My mom has a white gold and cream pair in her hand, and Lil has beige and silver, "Honestly, I don't know." Lil scratches her head. 
 "We'll figure it out when she has the gown on." 
 My face is washed off with disposable cloths and prepped before foundation is whipped across it. Jess uses a tinted moisturizer for a bare skin appearance. Lil does my makeup, gluing on long lashes; mom blow dries my hair. I look so different when it’s dry.  Omg! Is that me?! The edgy hair and subtle makeup are so glamorous.   I love nude! Less really is more!  My whole face shape is enhanced! My jawline is sharper...longer in appearance. My dark blue eyes pop due to the vibrant shade of blonde. The neck length bob curls beneath my chin in an ashy mix: medium to light. "Bitch...put on the dress." Lil breathes the words. 
 My mom unclips it from the door. "You're a princess tonight." 
 I stand and beam. "Ooohhh, I'm scared!" I jiggle up and down. 
 "Put it on right now, or I'll do it for you. You're not too old to be dressed like a kid." My mom hands it to me. 
 "Oh! Boob tape!" Jess jets from the room. 
 "Yes! That'll make them look bigger." Lil smolders at me. 
 "I like the sound of that." 
 "Boob tape is here! Now show me those titties!" Jess sings. 
 "Oh...I haven't blotched the spots." 
 "I got spray tan; we'll do it for you." 
 "No underwear; you need to be seamless through the dress." 
 "Or a thong," Lil recommends. 
 My mom snickers. "I say no panties. I didn't wear any just to excite your dad." 
 "Mom, TMI!" I groan. 
 "I'm just saying, it'll set the mood." 
 "What's the time?" I dodge the uncomfortable chat. 
 "6:50." 
 I undo my rob at the middle, then stop. "Okay...um." My voice is mortified. "We're all girls here; show us your goodies." 
 "Lil...you're animal." I snort. 
 "There's no judgment here, is what she means. Just remember what the therapist said." My mom encourages. 
 "Yes, I have flaws and always will; they represent survival and strength. I am one with them, and so is my mind." I recite...then slowly remove my robe. Mom drapes the dress over my head and waits for Lil to apply the boob tape. Once she does, my breasts are higher and closer together like two bubbles. The glitter gold gown passes my head. When it drops, it clings. Jess sprays the tan onto my exposed skin and neck. The shoes are matched aside the gown by my mom before she slips on the beige pair. I'm ready by 7:15. The gown illuminates my olive skin.  It has its own light source...I have my own light source.  I rip my eyes away and head to the door.  I can't be late . "What if this is too much? What if he comments on how different I look?" 
 "Girl, it’ll be a good comment. No, you’re not overdressed, rooftop dining with a billionaire, this look checks out." Lil laughs. 
 "What if I'm the only one this classy?" 
 "If he gave you this dress, it's suitable for the restaurant." 
 "Okay...yeah, you're right." I clasp my long nails around the doorknob. "What if I say something stupid?" I twist around. 
 "Maddy, chill." 
 "We would do a support hug, but you're too pretty to touch." 
 My mom dabs at her teary eyes. "Isn't she?" 
 "Good luck, although you don't need it, sexy thang." Jess winks. 
 "You don't want to be late." Mom sniffles. 
 "Aww, mom." 
 "She's right; just remember to be a badass, bestie. Sugar and spice, and everything nice." 
 I nod and chuckle. "Okay." 
 "Now go." Lil pulls out the door for me. 
 
 
 
 Chapter 21: Night Life 
  In the elevator, I check myself out in a metallic switchboard.  I'm too unbelievable to be real. I'm a living painting, a drawn and colored fairy princess, complete with glitter. The only thing that's missing are the wings.  I take my phone from a beige clutch purse and pose for a selfie. No filter. I hit the main floor button.  It's close to 7:20.  While the lift descends, I turn around to check out my ass. It has a shape because of the mermaid back design.  Good, my booty needs some help.  I hyperventilate some when the doors slide open to the first floor. "Okay...don't say anything stupid...or try to jump his bones. Don't repeat my first time out with a guy. No grinding." I murmur, then catwalk out.  I love that my bad girl magic is back and is well balance with my innocence.  A text from Jace cause me to squeal.  I'm here, darling <3 
 My finger taps a response in a flash:  Coming out 
 I pass through the spin doors, pushing them with more strength than needed.  I'm restless.  The night is lightly windy but warm. There's a black-gold car parked on the curb. It's so sleek and slim. My fear of riding in a vehicle cripples my feet from proceeding.  Oh...I'm being silly. I can't do this. Get a grip!  "The driver can't hurt me anymore. I am in a safe space. There is no harm." I speak to myself and witness the sight of the blurry street lines, the growling, and screeching of the car. My body flinging from it. 
  The driver's side door extends upward. Jace, who's in a white-gold embroidered suit and tie, circles to me. His green eyes soak in my appearance with much dazzlement. He is blinded by my beauty. I blush at how possessed he is. "Madison..." He expresses my name seductively and steps onto the curb to hold me by the waist. "Are you trying to get fucked tonight?" He breathes onto my cheek. His toasty face on mine has a drowsy effect. I have the urge to fall asleep on him. 
 "Can't say..." I toy. 
 His fiery eyes peer into mine. "You're too tasty to share with the guests." 
 "Are you saying I'm above five stars?" 
 "You are...looking the way you do. We could ditch the restaurant." 
 "Why sir, don't loosen your pants on the first date." I poke poshly. "I'm a lady of class." 
 He snickers at my character. "I guess I can share you." Jace leads me to the car; I'm wedged against his side now. My PTSD of the demon car board my feet in place again. "What's wrong?" I go mute and pale. "Are you feeling well?" 
 "No...I didn't want to mess up our night, sorry." 
 "Why'd you think that?" 
 My glossy eyes blink away the images of black gravel and a spinning night's sky. "The car...I can't get in. I-" 
 "Oh...damn." Jace connects the dots. "I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking." 
 "The night is ruined." 
 "Madison, you can't ruin anything looking like that." He kisses between my brows. "We'll fly instead." Jace holds my hand in his and leads the way inside. 
 He's not mad?? I'm sure there's a reservation for our table. No way he is this chill about my annoying excuse. Jace is just being nice to pacify me. Why can't I get into a fucking car?! What is wrong with me?! Isn't therapy supposed to help???  Once in the elevator, I get a handle on my mind and my teary eyes. Jace types on his blackberry in one swipe then pockets it. "I'm sorry." 
 "Don't apologize." 
 "I feel bad. Did we have a reservation?" I panic. 
 "We did, but we'll get there faster flying." He tugs me closer to his side; there's no gap separating our clothes anymore. "How can I fix your feeling bad?" 
 My brow arches. "Hmmm." I ponder. "You could kiss it better." 
 "Where?" 
 "You dirty thing!" 
 "You didn't specify where; it can range from more than one part of your body." 
 "Where do you think I meant?" 
 "Let's keep the first date clean, shall we?" 
 "I want to know." 
 He watches the floor buttons blink above the elevator's door. There are 15 total floors; we're on the 3rd level. Jace's hanging hair channels prince charming. The luxurious suit does as well. "Beg me to tell you." 
 "I don't beg." I scoff. 
 "Then you'll never know." 
 "I can guess it right." 
 "You can try." 
 "Between my legs and up?" 
 "No." 
 "My breasts." 
 "No." 
 "Lips." 
 "No." 
 I huff. "Forehead, neck, ear, chin, cheeks?" 
 He laughs at my desperate guesses. "Not close at all.” 
 "Feet?" 
 "No." 
 "Tell me!" I demand. 
 "You're used to being on top of men, aren't you?" 
 "Yes, so do as I say." 
 He chuckles. "I don't hear a please." 
 I shove away from him. "You never will." I fold my arms and glare at the floor numbers. 8th floor. 
 "Here's a hint...pressure points." 
 Hmm...pressure points? That's the first I heard of that as a kissing method. Where exactly? How long and how rough would his lips be? There are hundreds of pressure points on the body. I need to ask him where, but Jace won't cave unless I plead. I will never do that. Men beg for me, not the other way around.  The rooftop is full of exhaust fans and vents. The pavement is too uneven for a helicopter to land. "How will it land?" 
 "It'll hover; we'll climb up. We can practice our handwork that way." Jace flirts. "Although yours is just fine. The way you handle bottles." 
 "And the way you handled my back in the office has me wanting payback." I grin and tiptoe to clamp my teeth over his Adam's apple. 
 I hear a groan; he sandwiches me against him. "Explain what you mean by payback?" 
 My fingers trace. "Beg," I smirk, then skip away to the middle of the roof. The wind rustles my hair as if I'm atop a mountain. I gaze up for the helicopter. The skyscrapers stretch from the ground, shaded dark and lit by square windows. The moon is full and bright, and stars scatter the sky. I peep over my shoulder at Jace, who watches me lustfully.His dark hair blows in the wind so majestically. The strains cutting across his face muddle my mind. I stride back to him to tuck his hair behind his ears. His olive irises ignite underneath the moonlight.  He's too phenomenal to be a living, breathing being. Too perfect to want me.  "Why do you want me?" I whisper. 
 He cups my elbows into his palms, and again, the acidic sensation of his skin sizzles mine. "I'll you everything." 
 "You could tell me now." I frown. 
 He gives a short laugh. "Later." 
 The slashing of helicopter propellers echoes in the distance.  I don't like how he's withholding things from me! It's infuriating. Why can't he just answer?  My hair flutters as the air machine reaches us. Once again, Jace holds my hand and walks me forward. Our glad rags flap like flags in the wind. The copter hovers above us. A ladder unfolds downward. I giggle and stare up. "I haven't climbed a ladder since grammar school!" I shout over the whooshing metals that beat the air. I'm allowed to climb first. Jace probably thinks I'd fall.  I'm more so worried about him; he could topple the helicopter over with his weight. Or...I need to relax. Jace most likely does this all the time.   I remind myself not to look down. 
 When we're 30 feet up and inside, Jace buckles me up. He tightens the strap on my lap twice, then passes me a headset. I place it on while he applies his seatbelt and thumbs up the flyer. The doors slide close. The craft tilts forward and ascends. My stomach loses its gravity; I clutch it and shiver. "First time flying?" Jace asks through his headset. 
 "Yeah." 
 "You'll get used to it." 
 "What about your car?" 
 "One of my men will transport it back...or I can command it to drive itself." 
 "Show off." I laugh. 
 "Only a lot." His lips pinch to the side in a curl. "You look like a goddess." 
 "Not with my hair looking like this." I flatten it down at the sides. 
 "An air goddess then." 
 I smile and think up what Jess termed him as. "And you're a beauty god...or booty god, whichever one you like best." I peer out my window at the city, which resembles a miniature playset.  That's crazy how small the enormous buildings are right now. The high rises remind me of a toy town I had when I was a kid.  The rooftop restaurant is caged in by tall buildings and set with white linen tables. A long, decorative one lines the center, displaying two ice buckets full of wine bottles. A bluish platform is risen above the main area; it acts as an accent color to the dark wood and cream color scheme. There are candles instead of lights, and a live pianist perform Moonlight Sonata on a grand pianoforte. 
 I comb my fingers through my hair before I exit an industrial elevator. The tables are occupied by guests who belong on the red carpet.  This is an elite event for sure. I was dumb to think I'd stick out like a sore thumb.  The men are very formal in their suits, and the women are graciously reserved in their runway gowns. I drape my arm around Jace's and mimic the ladies posture, straightening back high chin, and eased eyes. "You learn fast, I see." 
 "I'm a good observer, sir." 
 "How good?" 
 "I pride myself on it." 
 "How well does that work on dancing?" He steers me down and towards a table near a railing. 
 "It works well. My friends and I have done new dances on the spot." 
 "Have I finally discovered your interest?" 
 "Maybe...I don't know. I don't dance that much, just sometimes." He pulls out my chair, I sit. A few of the guests glimpse my way. Not in a rude way but as if I'm an oddity. "Tough crowd, huh?" 
 "Yes." Jace sits. "This is a whitelist event; there aren't many new faces. That's why you're getting the eye." 
 "You never brought a girl like me here?" 
 "No." 
 "Ever?" 
 "No...only established women." 
 "Why am I the exception?" 
 A waiter in a white suit lay two glasses on the table. "What brand, sir." His French accent is watery and thick. 
 "Adrianna Vineyard." 
 The waiter glides to the center table for the beverage and returns, twisting off the cork and filling our glasses. "And meal?" 
 "Saffron risotto with forest mushrooms." 
 "The meal will be here promptly." 
 "Thank you." 
 The waiter bows before setting off to a side kitchen, where three chefs chop, stir and bake food. "How do you know I'll like that?" 
 "Trust me. It's impossible to hate." He sips on the wine. "Now, back to your dancing. Have you ever done salsa or tango?" 
 "No, are those your favorite?" I drink. 
 "Yes, I think they'll be yours too. I can arrange lessons for you. We can attend competitions and balls." 
 "Fancy." I grin. "Have you ever won?" 
 "Five times." 
 I tuck my hair behind my ears and flatten the top and back again. "I've won some cheer competitions before. Only three." 
 "Impressive, nonetheless." He studies my hands. 
 "What are you thinking about?" I slit my eyes. 
 "I'm anticipating slow dancing with you; your hands belong on me." 
 My teeth nibble at my bottom lip. "Do they?" 
 The waiter sets steaming plates of a yellow mushy dish with leaves, meat, and mushrooms spread atop it. " Bon appétit." 
 "Merci." Jace is shocked by my fluent pronunciation of the accent. 
 "De rien, Madame." The man bows again and taps away in dress shoes. 
 "I didn't know you could speak-" 
 "I can't...but I can impersonate." 
 "Still, the word was properly executed." 
 "Thank you." I examine the eight utensils, forks, spoons, and knives.  I recall having etiquette training for prom night. Which is the dinner fork and knife? 
 " Need help?" He picks up the fork and knife closest to the plate. 
 "I'm so declasse," I copy him. 
 "No, you're learning quick. Soon you'll fool everyone here. The waiter already has you labeled classy." 
 I poke at the yellow food below me and raise the fork to my mouth. I chew, reach for a napkin and pat my mouth. The risotto is so mushy and creamy, so zesty and tangy. I hold my compliment to avoid speaking with an open mouth. "Okay...you were right." 
 "I know." Jace begins eating, although his static eyes never leave mine. 
 "You never answered me. Why am I an exception?" 
 He chews and drinks, then lower his eyes. "I'll start at the beginning. Eat; your food will get cold." This time I listen; I  don't want him interrupted by my queries.  Jace leans back in his chair and watches me.  I guess he doesn't care about his food getting cold.  "When I first spoke to you, I thought you were just a fun bartender. However, my mind is still blown. There were $84 billion in that wallet." 
 "$84 billion?!" I almost choke on the wine. 
 "Oh, that's only 12% of my finances." He boasts. "I've had women steal from me before. Women who were higher in society than you. The others asked for cash upfront. I'm not used to humbled women. Then that shitty drink I had brought me back to you. You were refreshing, headstrong, witty, and sassy. I crave your singularity. Honestly, I thought I'd only see you on Sundays from then on." His dynamic eyes ray into my soul. "Then the accident occurred, and I had no clue why I was so devastated by the news. You were a stranger I talked to twice. Why do I care? I kept thinking. I'm still not entirely sure. All I knew was I had to rescue you from those simpleton doctors." 
 "I heard the conversation. I didn't think it was you because my mind couldn't process it being you." 
 "Do you remember the helicopter ride?" 
 "No...just that." 
 "I didn't leave your side for two days, only when you stabilized. I missed work, my CFO and Co manager sorted business while I was away. A personal situation was my excuse." 
 "Why?" I blink rapidly and part my lips. 
 Jace's eyes drop to my mouth and then back up. "You've probably heard this before...there's a different shine to you. I want to know what that is. I hate losing at puzzles." 
 Oh...does he mean my virginity? Is there an aura to me that I'm unaware of? Must be. " I could tell you." 
 "No, I'll come to a conclusion before the night is over." 
 I eat a few more bites of the risotto, Jace does the same. There's a long silence. I sense his mind evaluating me, trying to read me. The piano scales on, and the air gushes the rooftop. I glance past the railing at blocks of white lights on each surrounding skyscraper. His burning gaze on me makes me snigger and look at him. "Has your mind worked it out already?" 
 "The answer could be simple; you have bright energy." 
 I shake my head. "That's not it." I gulp the wine. 
 "You needed help; perhaps that explains your glow." 
 "No." 
 "You're skincare." 
 "Yes and no...I mean, it helps, but that's not the actual reason." 
 "I don't like being wrong." 
 "I could still tell you why." 
 He stands from the table and takes my hand. "Let's dance." I'm taken to the platform stage. The walk there is like a walk of judgment, mostly from women who glower at me. I ignore them and climb up the stairs. I'm close to Jace's height in these heels. There's only a two inch difference now. I lay my hands on his shoulders while he holds my side and back. 
 "You shouldn't touch me there," I speak into his ear. "I'm thinking back to the office." 
 "Good, they'll be no need for dessert if I hear you moan again." I laugh as he sways with me. "How does my hand feel?" He rubs his palm around the middle of my back. His hand crackles the bare skin back there. An icy hot sensation stings my flesh. 
 "Umm...like, cold lava that's also hot. If that makes sense." 
 "Interesting." We spin with the slow dance now. "How about this?" Jace compresses me against him. Our waists collide. A large lump stabs me. I bury my mouth into his suit color to muffle a moan. "Well, that explains it." He chuckles and press his mouth behind my ear. 
 I close my eyes and scroll my hands from his shoulders and down his chest. When I reach his abs, I squeeze my fingernails into the lumps of muscles. Jace mumbles. I exhale roughly in response. "We shouldn't do this in public." I pull away and stare up at him. 
 "I have a better option." He taunts my lips with his, brushing across them by a few centimeters. "The island...this weekend." 
 "Another order?" My paraplegic lips ask. 
 "Yes." He grips my chin and snuggles his nose beside mine. 
 "What makes you think I'll listen to it?" 
 "Because you did the first time." 
 "If I protest?" 
 "I'll carry you onto the jet." 
 I watch his fluid mouth movements. "I'll scratch you." 
 "I'll return the favor." His full lips peck the corners of my mouth. 
 My face bakes from his touch. "Kiss me." I huff. 
 "No..." I extend my neck, defying him, but he clutches a hand around it before I make contact. "Beg." 
 "I don't do that!" I rage despairingly. 
 "You hate it, don't you?" He smirks. "Now you know how I felt the times you denied me." 
 "I'm sorry...now kiss me." I yank at the hand on my neck, but he's stronger. I fail at releasing it.  I don't think I want to.  My throat is volcanic from its touch. 
 "My island this weekend...I'll consider kissing you then." 
   
 
 ............. 
 
   
 "That's not the full night; she's lying!" Lil sits on my bed and crosses her arms. "Let's tickle it out of her." 
 "Yeah, what she said!" Jess battle cries. 
 "That's how it went. We had peach clobber after dancing; then we flew back here." 
 "And?" Mom takes a seat on the bed too. "No goodnight kiss?" 
 "No." I mope. "He's getting even for all my rejections. So no kissing any time soon." 
 "You bruised him, that's why." 
 "Aww...that sucks." Lil hugs me. "When is the next date? Just plant one on him without warning." 
 I flash my teeth. "We're going to his island this weekend." 
 They all scream; I cover my face and squeal. "For how long?!!" Jess bellows. 
 "I don't know." 
 "Stay forever, make him fall for you, that is if he hasn't already. Then have your dream wedding." Mom nods like a badass. 
 Lil copies her chin movement. "That's where it's going, especially once he realizes why you have that shine. It's lock and key after that." 
 "Whoa, guys, press the breaks. I'm not letting him know I'm a virgin until months from now." 
 "Why go that long? The guy is aching for you, and you for him. Just tell him." 
 "Mom, last time I told a guy, everything was rushed and unpredictable. I don't want that happening with Jace." 
 "He seems restrained enough to respect that you're waiting. He brought up fucking you and didn't do it. Jace values you." Lil advises. 
 Jess nods. "Yep, plus he's too professional; he looks like he's strict on consent." 
 "I don't know." 
 "Dear, I honestly think Jace will propose if you tell him. Isn't this what you've been waiting for? A serious, mature guy? His money is a huge perk too." 
 "He's night and day compared to your ex. All we're saying is go for your goal. Jace isn't Brad. He's been waiting this long for you. Why wouldn't he do the same for the honeymoon." Lil persuades. "You could have the most expensive wedding in the world if you want." 
 "$84 billion is 12% of $700 billion. You could have it on the damn moon!" Jess claps. 
 "Like I said, I don't know. Let's just see how the island goes."  I think they're giving Jace too much credit for a man. He's gonna want sex once he knows I'm untapped. Or do I need to draw back my stereotyping? Will Jace react as I've always thought my fiancé would? He did say he could endure anything. He's all about self control and willpower.  
 "Do what you think is right." My mom ends the discussion. 
 "I will." I nod, then glimpse at Jess quickly before looking to Lil. "That's the first time I ever heard you talk about a honeymoon. Usually, it's me." I use the topic to secretly inform Jess about her wedding dilemma. 
 "True, you're just more obsessed about it. I'm normal with it. I can't picture my wedding like you do. It's something I want way down the line." 
 "Oh." I give a fleeting glance to Jess, who's a bit sullen now.  Aww...I wish I never asked. Jess wants one sooner than later. I lived that pain for forever, it seems. I wish hopelessness upon no one. 
 
 
 
 Chapter 22: Wonderland 
  For the next 2 days, I go shopping for swimming suits, rompers, tanks, shorts, and sandals. My mom adds tons of sun hats and sunscreen into the cart. Lil sneaks the lingerie I bought into my bag more than once. I removed it at least four times. I set an appointment for a Brazilian wax and a tan to get a sun-kissed complexion. It rids my body of the discoloration. I pack lots of lacy bras, panty sets, and sheer cardigans. Things I've been waiting to wear.  This might provoke Jace tho. I'll try not to be too slutty.  The last items into my suitcase are sexy sleep gowns lined with lace. Come Saturday. I walk the large lobbies of Strygent Airlines with my crew. Mom is anxious to meet Jace, and Dad is a bit quiet.  I wonder what he's thinking about.  My girls brush and spray my hair, a heavy whiff of grapefruit travel my nostrils. I have on a black romper with a pink rose design. Jess fluffs out my hair, and Lil splits a side part with a comb. 
 "Guys, my hair is fine." 
 "Nope, it has to be voluminous." The two say together. 
 My black sandals tap the white gold and black floors of the futuristic building.  I feel like I'm in a sci-fi movie. The curved shape of the walls and the pure glass ceiling is amazing. 
 My dad comes to my side when we reach the boarding gate. "Madison, are you sure about this?" 
 "I am." 
 "I don't like you going somewhere secluded. What if this guy is a psycho?" He frets. 
 "I think that's far fetched...if he is, I have pepper spray." 
 "Good, good, be careful." 
 My mom looks to my dad, "don't be dramatic." 
 "There he is," Jess announces. 
 Standing beside the airline gate is Jace in a vest over a dress shirt and dark slacks.  Good, he's not showing off his arms in short sleeves...that would've intimidated my dad.  I get the jitters in my gut when he gazes into my eyes.  Oh god...it's only been two days. Why am I this tense? 
 Jace Harrison nods to the rest of my posse. "Hello, how are you all this morning?” 
 "We're well and thankful for your help." My mother answers gratefully. 
 "It's nice to meet under normal circumstances." Lil laughs. "I'm Lily." 
 "I couldn't agree more. Jace Harrison." He introduces himself to her and everyone else. "I'm glad all is well now. Although, your terminator run will be missed." 
 Lil tilts her head to the side. "How do-" 
 "Security cameras." Jace cuts her off. "You nearly had the car." 
 "I ran track in high school." She shrugs. "And Maddy was a cheerleader." 
 "I have pictures I can send." 
 "Mom, don't." 
 Dad holds his hand out. "I'm her father." He flexes his arm with the handshake.  Really dad? There's no need to chastise. 
 "Nice to officially meet you." Jace nods, then focus on Jessica. "Sorry, I'm blanking on your name." 
 "I'm Jess." 
 "I'm thankful to meet you all; Madison has mentioned the support you've given her." 
 My mother leans to whisper in my ear. "Ahh, he said your name." 
 "Mom, stop," I mumble back. 
 "Yeah, we're her A team," Jess says nonchalantly. 
 My dad eyes him bluntly. "My wife and I are trusting you with our daughter. We're all expecting Madison to continue her health once away." 
 "I understand and completely agree with your concerns. I guarantee she'll be safe with me, sir." 
 Why does it feel like I'm being handed over in matrimony??  "Daddy, I'll be alright. None of you have to worry." 
 "Group hug before you go?" Mother gets emotional, and her lips quiver. I start the hug. All four of them huddle me into their arms. 
 "Have fun." 
 "Don't get seasick." 
 "Okay," I reassure my parents. 
 "Be naughty." 
 "And nice too." 
 My girls swing me side to side. "Ahh, staaapp!" When I free myself, I wave them goodbye and blow kisses. "I'll call as soon as I get there." I wiggle my nose at them before strolling to Jace.  I need to tell him not to stare at me so starvingly in front of my folks . "Hi.” 
 "Hi, you look unbelievable." He extends a hand to the tunnel. "Shall we?" 
 "We shall." I step past the threshold of the door and into a steel tunnel. I hear Jace behind me. The main door shuts behind us. 
 "Put your hands on me." His baritone voice commands. 
  The gravitational force of my body is corrupted by his request. I lose my balance right into him. This time, I pin him to the wall, my palms on his colossal chest pecks. I grin up at him. "Like that?" 
 "Lower." His black hair curtains one side of his face. I trail my hands all the way down to his outer thighs and clasp. My tiny palms are laughable atop his enlarged glutes. He grumbles. 
 "You never said how I make you feel. Be fair...I shared with you." 
 His pale green irises hook onto mine. "I feel invincible when I'm with you."  
 "Really?" I utter. 
 "Yes." 
 "Why?" Jace grabs both of my hands and walks me down the tunnel. I wait for his answer. But it never comes. 
 The jet's inside is full of skylights that loop the roof and wide, oval windows. White and black wood is the color scheme, and contemporary is the style. "Did we just time travel?" I jab as the doors seal off automatically. 
 "Yes." He plays along. 
 "Are you a robot like the article's say?" I snort. 
 "I can't say." 
 "That's the conspiracy theory about your success with machinery." 
 "I have no comment on the manner." 
 "Because it's true?" I claw my nails down his wrists. 
 Jace huffs. "There are some things we need to discuss." 
 "It's true!" 
 "Come on." He chuckles and steers me to a large, white recliner. 
 "How easily are you reprogrammed?" I sit. 
 "Madison...if I were one, I'd have no inkling to sleep with you." 
 "About that, umm-" 
 "There's no rush. I just need to clarify terms." 
 "Terms?" 
 "Yes." He stands before me with his hands in his pockets. 
 "What kind?" 
 "How steamy are you willing to get without sex?" 
 I grin ear to ear. "I can go far. I have a collection of guys I sext." 
 "Do you?" 
 "Hmm mm," I mumble snugly. 
 "How dirty can you get?" 
 "I can push my limit." 
 "Do you fake your moans?" 
 "That's not in my nature." 
 "How long do you last?" 
 I peep to the side. "With foreplay or sex?" 
 "Both."  Uh oh...I'm not sure how long I last with either. All my kinky moments ended pretty fast. I don't want to say this and disappoint him.  "Are you not sure?" 
 "No...I'm not sure. I never timed myself." 
 Jace sits on the armrest. "Alright...what are your safe words?" 
 "How about...stop." I giggle. "It's simple. How about you?" 
 "I get pretty close to sex when fooling around and pretty dirty. I'm not afraid to moan like a bitch if it's good enough. I can last two hours, and my safe word is blue." 
 "Two hours?" I exclaim. 
 "Yes...you've never had a guy go that long? I pity you if that's the case. What's your body count?" 
 My chest heaves. "Umm..." 
 "You're not ready to share that yet?" 
 "No...I'm not." 
 "We have time." 
 "How long are we staying on the island?" 
 "As long as you like." 
 I squint at him. "Even for weeks?" 
 "Months, if you want." I invert my mouth. "How good of a kisser are you?" 
 "How about you try my lips service?"  I stand and sit in front of him on the armrest. "Free of charge." 
 "The magic word first." He locks his arms around me. The jittering in my stomach rips me up now. 
 I sigh and bite my lip. "Please?" He gropes the sides of my breast, then yanks me forward. My neck tilts to the side, and my lips pucker. Jace kisses them with a slow stroke. My cells ignite.  His lips are a plush cushion on mine.  My hands rake through his hair. I switch my mouth position side to side, biting and vacuuming. The suckling sounds we create burn the air between us. 
 Jace hammers his mouth into mine two times and grunts. "That's enough for now." He stands. 
 "Huh?" 
 "Let's not spoil a good thing." 
 "You just can't stop like that." 
 "I just did." He smirks. "Are you wet?" 
 I stand and rub my hand across my crotch. Jace licks his lips. There's some moisture. I bring my fingers to my nose and sniff my juice. "Yes." 
 "Hmmm..." His sage eyes observe my fingers. "Taste yourself." I open my mouth some and slip my digits in. The savory meat cream coats my tongue. "Good?" 
 "Yes...sir." 
 "Preparing to takeoff, please be seated." An AI voice informs from the ceiling. 
 "Let's get buckled in." Jace clears his throat, still watching my fingers as they pop out of my mouth. 
 I obey him and return to my seat. He takes one beside me and side eyes me in heat. "Turned on?" 
 “Very." He breathes. "So you were a cheerleader?" 
 "I was." 
 "It seems to me that dancing is your thing." 
 "I don't know...I guess. I haven't done it as a hobby since high school. My job takes up all my time." The jet rolls forward quietly. I expected a loud engine, but there's a soft whizzing instead. 
 "What if you worked less? Would you make it a passion?" 
 "I like working." 
 "I know, but there needs to be a balance. No way will I ever work without some fun. Jet packing, sky diving, space trips, submarine tours. My job would be pretty dull without pleasure." 
 "Space? You been to space?" 
 "Five times...no more than 7 minutes, though. The solar flares, anti-gravity, and temperature are horrible on your cells." 
 "Wow..." 
 "We could go one day." He smiles at my stupefaction. "Now, back to you. I'd like to see you have fun dancing." 
 "Dancing on the beach would be fun." 
 "It would...we'll be completely alone, so you can wear something sexy if you'd like. Or nothing at all." 
 "Hold your horses. I'll be clothed, thank you very much." I lift my chin. The jet tilts upwards and flies off. "I grip my armrest. 
 "Relax, darling." 
 "My stomach is dropping!" I close my eyes. 
 "It'll be over soon. How about I tell you my conclusion from our dinner?" 
 "Okay, that'll help." I winch at how the plane is vertical in the air. My innards shift. 
 "The spark you have, it's because you're pure hearted." 
 I open my eyes. "That's kinda close." 
 "That's not it?" He frowns. 
 "No." 
 Jace looks ahead with his thinking cap on. "I'll try again." 
 "You've been struggling." I laugh. "Mr dumb genius robot." I peer out the window at the low setting city. The clouds are patchy but clear enough for the sun to ray through. The Pacific Ocean is calm and mirrors the blue sky. "Where is your island?" 
 "A few miles from Hawaii. We'll be there in 30 minutes." 
 "That's fast." 
 "Tell me about the things you like." 
 I eye him and tighten my mouth. "Umm...making drinks." 
 "Other than that." 
 "Eating sweets...wearing dresses, classy music, because of the country club. Action movies, but romances are okay. Skincare, chocolate, and chocolate. Did I mention chocolate?" 
 He grins. "All of that can be accommodated." For the next 30 minutes, I watch land disappear and an ocean as far as the eye can see. I whip out my phone to record. Once the place slows and descends. There's an island the size of a state. I snap a picture of the ultra green land riddled with floral nature, caged by the bluest water I've ever seen.  Wow! I thought the golf course was the greatest paradise I'd ever witness. I was wrong. 
 "What's the name?" 
 "The Land Of Alodia." 
 "What does Alodia mean?" 
 "It's Latin for riches." 
 "Of course, your island brags as much as you do." I snicker. 
 When we land, I suck in a breath. The island has white sand, rolling hills, and an array of light and dark flowers. And a pitch black road so smooth and crackless that it appears natural to the earth. I scan around for other people, but no one is in sight. I stride ahead to see the pilot. There isn't one. "JACE! There's no pilot!" I freak out. 
 "I said we're completely alone." 
 "Why isn't there a pilot?!" 
 Jace rolls his eyes. "Relax, I fly overseas on AI the majority of the time." 
 I puff out my cheeks. "But that's dangerous!" 
 "You're safe." He pecks my lips. "Let's go see the house." 
 "What about my suitcase?" 
 Jace operates his phone for a few seconds before saying, "a drone will bring it to your room. The palace is landscaped by water and straw umbrella huts. A patio before the main entrance. This is the country club on triple steroids. The pillars are over fifty feet high, and glass doors and windows just are as high.  The cream and steel roofed mansion is a dream . High, carved ceilings and light wood floors greet us inside. My eyes bulk at the massive chandeliers and the view of the bare ocean. Jace snaps his finger, the sliding doors divide, and a record player lowers its needle. Smooth jazz circulates the room. 
 The wind rustles in the salty sea and flaps my hair. "You really look like a goddess now." He caresses my hair behind my ears. "I'll show you your room." 
 My bedroom has an L shape window stretching its walls with a view of a floating lounge raft on the crystal waters. The cream color is here as well. A blue accent marks the pillows and sheets. The bed's headboard is crocheted, and California king sized just as the mattress. "The bathroom is here." Jace taps what I thought was a wall. It's a camouflaged door that whirls open. The bathroom is pure white and marble. A stand-alone tub is before the wall length window. Two toilets are side by side. I walk to the bowl sink to gussy myself up real quick.  There's probably something on my face.  My beige skin sparkles in the sunlight, my face is fine, and my navy eyes murder a catty streak. "You look perfect, don't worry." 
 "Why are there two toilets?" I put my hand on my hip. "Does the rich really need two?" 
 "The second is foreign, for the second duty. They judge Americans for using tissue. It just smears the shit up there, is what they say." 
 "So they spray up there every time?" 
 "Yes...and the women spray every time." 
 "Interesting." 
 "Something new to try, it's strange at first, but you'll get used to it." A flat top drone rolls into the bedroom, extends its height and dumps my suitcase onto the bed. "I'll see you tonight." 
 "Tonight?" 
 "Yes, I'll be in my office arranging the NASA deal." 
 "I heard about that." 
 "Of course you have stalker." He winks. "Wear something amazing, darling." 
 "I will." I grin and check out Jace's bubble ass on his way out. I race to the bed, where the robot folds itself up. "Thanks, drone." I unzip my suitcase and select a Bikini Beach Skirt dress. The pushup bra wraps at the bottom. The beige and white swimsuit has a lacy tail and a lot of cleavage.  I hope he kisses the cleavage line....wait no. Why am I hoping? I'll make him. I'm losing my dominating power. 
 
 
 
 Chapter 23: Romance & Steam 
  I group call my A-Team as I fill the tub with essential oil body wash and swish the water around. "How is it?" 
 "I bet it's super colorful; send pictures!" 
 "Good, you got there in one piece. Take anti-acids in case you get nauseous." 
 "You okay, princess?" 
 "Yeah, I'm okay, dad. I don't think there are any anti-acids around. I recorded a vid. I'll make a group chat and send it. So far, this place is heaven! There's a literal drone robot in my room that takes orders." 
 "How very high tech!" My mom compliments. 
 "Which dress are you wearing tonight?" 
 "The beige and what one with the skirt." 
 "Ooohhh, Yass!" Jess sings. 
 "Do you feel safe? If anything feels wrong..." 
 "Dad, I'm safe. Jace isn't a killer." 
 "Your father will never trust any man you get with. It's his job. So where is he? Are you two sharing a room?" 
 "He's in his office working, and no, I have my own room." 
 "Hmm..." Mom mumbles. "That's very gentlemanly of him." 
 "Like I said, he respects her." Lil brags. 
 "How long will you be staying?" My father is the only one who's critical. 
 "I'm not sure yet; there's no set date." 
 "Dear, stay as long as you can. Not just for him but for yourself. You need a long vacation. No one deserves it more than you. I bet you are so at ease." 
 "I am," I admit, watching the sea through the vast window.  I am at ease. Everything is so serene, so peaceful.  I leave the tub's ledge and try to open the window. "You guys have to see the view from the bathroom." I yank at the edge of the window, then tap along the frame. "That's if the window opens." I chortle. I go on tapping before remembering the snap. I rub my thumb and index finger together. The glass of the window inverts to the side. A greenhouse, freshwater scent flows in.I go to my camera and take a photo. Then create a group chat and send it. 
 "Oh wow, wow!" My mom yells. 
 "That has to look amazing at night. Curl your hair, loose curls, and wear rose gold jewelry." Lil orders. "Be the beach!" 
 "Will do." I hurry over to the tub and twist off its faucets. "I gotta go. I'll update you guys later with pics. Bye." I soak and scrub with bubbles for 30 minutes. My eyes can't stop staring out the window, so a few more minutes are added. I just sit in the water and watch the gentle waves and the high sun beaming on white sand. When I get out, I search around for a shower to rinse off. There's a bare wall about ten feet long. I go to it and do the tapping method in random places. I'm unlucky. "Where is the shower?" I fuss and pat harder at the wall, which folds towards a corner. There's glass behind it and a shower so giant that I think it's another room until I spy a hanging shower head that's 10 feet in width. When I walk forward, the glass slides apart.  Oh wow. This shower is at least 20 feet long and wide!  As soon as I step under the showerhead, it beads down cool water. I giggle and spin, dowsing my whole body.  The pressure is fantastic! I don't even have to exfoliate!  I rinse my body for about 15 minutes and consider doing a handstand to wash my lower half. When I bend over to begin it, the shower wall and floor squirt me from all angles. The pressure isn't as harsh, though, but the sensation tickles me. I laugh goofily and squirm my body. 
 I slip into the dress and curl my hair with a hot iron. I clean my face with my glycolic toner and a cotton pad, sunscreen, and apply tinted moisturizer. My eyeliner needs fixing from the shower, so I tidy it up. When done, I put on white sandals with a heel and pump on perfume. Marc Jacobs Daisy. I tour the palace since it's only noon. Every room has a spectacular view of the tropical island. There are six bathrooms, twelve bedrooms, three recreational areas, two theaters. Double living and dining combos, five lounging spots, two kitchens, and an enormous staircase.  It's like the one from Beauty and The Beast, only lighter in color.  I ascend the stairs; there are at least 60. 
 The dropped ceiling is so high and has a domed skylight at its end.  This is too good to be true! Jace can't possibly just want to talk and fool around. What's his motive? He did say he wanted more than sex from me. Does he want to date? Is this just a summer fling? I have to ask him these questions.  Once at the top, I am in a maze of doors just as the beach house.  Where to start? I go right because I'm right handed.  I open door after door, library, sauna, art studio, photography booth, computer room, and a lab room. I reach the last door, ready to open it until I hear Jace's voice. "Yes, the lab will fulfill the mass production by Wednesday. Ten thousand total Humbots, guaranteed." 
 I tiptoe down the way I came and start on the left side of the corridor. The first room is gray themed with ashy marble walls and pillars. The bed is gray black as well as the other furniture within.  This must be his room. It's so neat—the  hanging portraits of Noble Prizes, and Samaritan Awards. Strygent's LLC, and the blueprint of the industries lab, are enough proof. I walk to the wall gallery and roll my eyes at another frame, 
 
 THE HOTTEST BACHELOR OF THE YEAR. 
 
 I read more. 
 TOP SCIENTIST ,  TECH WIZ  TIME flaunts a sexy photo of Jace. I hear footsteps and dart from the room and far from the door. I stand and act as if I'm admiring the artwork on the walls. "You weren't moving as fast as you thought." Jace snickers. 
 "I have no clue what you mean." 
 He leans on the wall and grins at me. "What are you hungry for?" 
 "It's not on the menu." My stifling voice chimes. 
 "You're being bad." 
 "I am...maybe you should spank me." 
 "Is that why you were in my room?" I zip my lips with my fingers and fling away the key. "Alright, since you're a mute, you won't protest when I do this." In one motion, he has me over his shoulder and goes towards his bedroom. 
 "Jace! What are you doing?!" I snort and beat at his back. 
 "I'm going to spank you." He flops me down on the bed and kneels above me. "You can't show this much skin without punishment." I lower my eyes to his waist. It's too far away. "Get your mind out the gutter.” 
 "I can't." 
 His firm hand spanks my bare stomach. I arch my back and sigh. Jace slaps below my bra next with both hands. "Is your mind still dirty?" 
 "Yes, sir." My fingers clutch the sheets. His olive eyes travel to my breast. "Kiss them." I dictate. Jace slaps each, my boobs juggle. I exhale. "Kiss them, or I'll make you." 
 "Okay, make me." 
 I wring my fingers around his neck and tug it forward, smothering his face into my cleavage line. He licks, chews, sucks, and tongues them. I groan and heave.  His mouth is massaging my breasts!  My skin particles melt from his force. The stickiness of his lips on my skin arouses me. I arch my waist higher to touch his and grind. I hear muffled moans from my chest, unfiltered and harsh. I ram into him; my cherry catches onto his sleek pants. The ridge of the tip of his dick cuts me. I yelp. He retreats from my breaths and flattens my back to the bed with both hands. The skirt of my dress reveals my high-rise panties. 
 A savageness works his eyes now. He looks down at my underwear, inhales roughly then gets off the bed. "No," I whine. 
 "Yes." 
 "You need to stop doing that!" 
 "I told you I want more than sex." He holds out a hand for me. 
 "What do you want with me?" 
 "Let's discuss it over dinner." 
 I huff and decline taking his hand. "I thought our foreplay is supposed to be intense." 
 "That's what we agreed on." 
 "Then why...?" 
 "You're going to have to have on more clothes than that. Then that arrangement will be successful." He beckons me with his hand. I refuse and cross my arms. "Fine, I'll give you time to cool off." Jace goes to a wardrobe and selects light beige shorts and a pink button up. I watch him decode the wall, which is another shower. I bounce up from the bed as he goes into it. He smiles at my eager eyes. "See you soon, darling." I don't move.  I want to see him naked.  He snaps. The wall shuts me out. 
 I march furiously from the bedroom and down the staircase. I exit through a window and stomp on the sand.  He's being unfair. He can't stop right when I'm close to getting off!   Ugh!!  I stride the beach in front of a setting sun.  I can wear skimpy clothes if I want and still mess around. It's not my fault he can't handle it. I thought his endurance was high??!  I sit in a chair and scowl. The sunset is magical. I close my eyes and listen to the waves.  He doesn't do what I want him to. Why? This isn't going to work.  The night sky brings an explosion of dots and a sky as blue as the water. I meditate until my mind is clear. I recall how chanting the same phrase helped me before.  Relax, slow is the way I want things to go. Be thankful that Jace has the strength to stop. I need to stop being a ho.  I repeat this five times in my head before standing from the chair. 
 "Are you better now?" 
 I turn to face him. His pink white ombre button up against the light Khaki shorts are well fitting for the beach. Jace's chest and ab line are exposed in a wide gap down the middle. Silver chains dangle from his neck, and his black hair is pushed back. I study his chest hair. "Hypocrite." 
 "I'm showing less than you." 
 "You're annoying." I pass him. "Where are we eating?" 
 He covers my headstart on him in a few paces and escorts me. We glide down a wooded path and to a candlelit table set for two. The fire sticks surround the table. The tree above it has hanging strings lights as well; it's so bright." Jace pushes out my chair. "I'm prepared for your questions." 
 "Good." 
 He sits. "I'll answer the last one." 
 "The one from the airport too. Tell me why you feel invincible around me." 
 "Alright." The candlelight heightens his sculptured face. "You make me feel powerful. I thought I already accomplished this status. I was wrong. As for what I want from you. I want your time and exclusivity." 
 "English, please." 
 "I want to date." 
 "Oh..." I glimpse at sea. 
 "Or do you just want to have fun?" 
 "No." I stare back at him. "I'd like that. The only thing is, will it be serious?" 
 "Yes...don't worry, I won't treat you like one of my toy chicks. You have more meaning." 
 "You mean my aura? Have you found another theory yet?" 
 "My final theory is that your spirit is clean of darkness. Am I right?" 
 "More like untapped." I cover my mouth and snorkel amusingly. 
 "My turn to ask questions. What does that mean?" He lays his hands on the table in a business manner. The shirt is in danger of tearing because of his muscles. "Well?" 
 "I don't think I can trust you with the answer yet." 
 "Please, tell me?" He pleads. 
 I shouldn't...so I'm not going to. I don't want him to know I'm a V yet. My mom was right about this being what I've been waiting for. Jace could be my potential husband. Still, I want to drag out my truth a bit longer until I know for sure.  "Not yet." 
 "I need the answer." 
 "We need to spend more time together; then I'll give you the answer. I'll stay long enough to be comfortable sharing it." 
 Jace glances between my eyes. "Move in with me." My lungs expel all the air in my body. "That way, I'll earn your trust in a timely manner." 
 "That's a big step!" 
 "It is...but a necessary one for complete honesty." 
 "I've barely been here a day...how?? 
 "Madison, you've been living in my mind since I spent those two days at your side." My chest pumps, and my eyes dart to the sand, the sea, then to my hands. "You want something serious, right?" 
 "I do...but this is levels beyond that!" I shriek anxiously. "You said you want to date...moving in with you should come way later." 
 "I'll accept your decline once you say no. We won't see each other very often, just so you know. Our interactions would be limited to 2 to 3 times a week and no longer than 2 hours. The dating experience would be unappealing." 
 "How many women have you asked to move in with you?" 
 "None. All the others knew the deal, cash and sex, no strings attached. Most left in the morning, others a few minutes after. There were also walks of shame. It was all business of pleasure." 
 "How many women have you been with?" 
 Jace shakes his head. "I don't want to disgust you." He types on his phone and peers at a low window. The drone drives to us and lengthens in height. 
 "How may I take your order?" Its robotic tone is polite. 
 "You can have whatever you want." 
 "You're avoiding the question." 
 "No, I'll answer once we're established enough." 
 "You really think I'm going to be disgusted??" I sneer. "I can handle the count; I know it's high." 
 "What do you want for dinner." He goes on as if I said nothing. 
 I mean mug him. "I'm not hungry." 
 "Caviar and wine." He instructs the drone, the top of it blinks. 
 "No...I don't eat fish!" 
 He puffs air through his nose. "I thought you weren't hungry." 
 "Well, I am...I haven't ate all day." My eyes slit. 
 Jace massages the bridge of his nose. "What do you want to eat?" 
 "Sloppy joe." 
 The drone blinks. "Anything else?" 
 "Fries and soda, thank you." 
 "You are welcome; ETA 15 minutes." The drone drives back inside the house. 
 Jace stops massaging and observes me with some irritation. "I should be the irritated one. You act like I can't stomach your answer." 
 "Madison, you judged me before over women. Why wouldn't you do the same?" 
 "I won't...and things were different then." I murmur. "I didn't like you as much." 
 Jace's face goes tranquil, and his eyes are subtle now. "How much do you like me?" 
 My cheeks flush with heat. "I want to skip the question." 
 "Only if I can skip mine." 
 "Deal." 
 "Now, back to what you said..." He shares an incredulous gaze. "How don't you like fish? The finest fish, to be honest." 
 "I just don't." 
 "That's so surreal. The majority of the population never has the chance to try caviar, yet you swap it with sloppy joe?" 
 "Yep." He's too overwhelmed to speak, so he releases sputtering noises. "Cheap food all the way." I cheese. 
 "Now you're even more of an enigma." 
 "I'm proud, have fun trying to crack my code." I find it funny that a billionaire is eating cheap food. I'm highly entertained by the huge bites he takes from the meaty burger. There's no conversation for a good while, just the sea, and rippling  trees.   I honestly think Jace is analyzing what I meant by untapped. No way he will link it to me being a virgin.  I sip on Pepsi and douse my fries in ketchup and take bites of the burger. It's unclassy to pick it up, so I cut it up with a knife and eat with a fork. 
 When we're done with dinner, the drone clears the table, and Jace walks me back to my room. "I take your answer to my invitation as a no." 
 I halt at the door and shrug. "I don't know. Would we see each other that little?" 
 "Yes, I'm either at the lab, Strygent tower, the arena, or attending conferences." 
 "And at the country club on Sundays." 
 "That too, but I wouldn't count that as spending good time together. You're on the clock when I'm there." 
 "And you're dining and golfing with friends." 
 "Correct." 
 "I'm gonna need more time to think it over." 
 "How much time?" 
 "A few days, maybe." 
 He's dissatisfied with my response. "Maybe sleep on it tonight and let me know in the morning. Can you try that?" 
 "I can." 
 Jace smooches my forehead. "Goodnight, Madison." 
 "Goodnight, Jace." I smile, then turn the knob. 
 
 
 
 Chapter 24: Pressure 
  Inside, I kick off the sandals and go to rinse off my feet. As the sand twirls down the drain, my mind wanders.  What if I say yes? Do I drop my home and job? Or could I hop on a jet every day to work?   I don't think I ever want to leave this island. It's paradise. Could I live here? The fact that Jace asked proves he's serious about me. He said I wouldn't be one of his toy chicks that I have more meaning.   Has he fallen for me? It's been a little over two months since we first talked. How could he want me this much already? That's irrational. I hope this isn't a curse of mine, trapping guys into going the mile for me. It's flattering, but it's a headache.  I snap a photo of the swarming sea with a full moon above it. Then of my bedroom and send it to the group chat. I decide to text my mom: 
 So...he asked me to move in. What do I do?  I change out of my dress and into a sleep gown. 
 
 
 Mom: !!! 
 
 
 
 
 Me: Lol 
 
 
 
 
 Mom: what do you want to say? 
 
 
 
 
 Me: idk 
 
 
 
 
 Mom: do you think you should? 
 
 
 
 
 Me: I'm lost tbh I need help... 
 
 
 
 
 Mom: well, it is soon but know that guys don't ask that unless they're in love with you 
 
 
 
 
 Me: how is he there already?? Why is this happening again? 
 
 
 
 
 Mom: cus my daughter is irresistible ;) 
 
 
 
 
 Me: Lmao 
 
 
 
 
 Mom: ;) ;) 
 
 
 
 
 Me: do I say yes? 
 
 
 
 
 Mom: take your time 
 
 
 
 
 Me: he's impatient tho... 
 
 
 
 
 Mom: he can wait 
 
 
 
 
 So...any kissing? 
 
 
 I beam like a kid and fall onto the bed.  Me : yes 
 Mom: ohh, good, have fun!    
 I chuckle and throw the sheets over my body and click off the light. 
 In the morning, I hear the sound of an approaching helicopter. I get out of bed and jet to the windows. The chopper circles around the beach for a few seconds, flying sand everywhere, before lowering. The side of it reads NASA. A bunch of security guards exit before men in suits do. I watch the squad near the entrance of the palace. When I can't see them anymore, I go to clean myself up. Wash my face, brush my teeth, and straighten my hair. I use the standard toilet. When done, I google how to use the second one, finding out I need to adjust the water pressure, so I don't spray my skin off. I set it in low, squat, and am so weirded out when it sprays up my bum, my bottom, and front simultaneously. I chose a powder blue beach dress with a waistline cut out and silver strap platforms. I poke in oval earrings to match. 
 "Morning." 
 I look to the bathroom door. Jace wears a classic black white suit; he looks like a groom. "Morning." 
 "I'll be gone for a few hours on business." 
 "Okay." 
 "I hate to leave you here alone." 
 "I'll be fine; there's lots to do." 
 "I know...but your safety is a concern." 
 "Why?" 
 "The media is onto us and are aware you're here. I'll activate more drones to patrol the islands." 
 "From who?" 
 "Paparazzi, vengeful exes, insane fans." He draws closer to me to rub his thumb across my lips. "If the last one, there'll be a deterrent." 
 "Meaning?" 
 "All of my drones are weaponized, so are my personal cars and aircraft." 
 My eyes expand. "What? Why?" 
 "I'll tell you some other time. Just know you'll be safe while I'm away." 
 "Are you James Bond?" I crack. 
 "That's possible." He grins. "Have you made up your mind about moving in?" 
 "It's a maybe, right now." 
 "That's better than a no." Jace strokes my lips before dropping his hand. "See you later." 
 “See you later." He departs.  
 Crap...I wanted to prance around him in this dress and test his limits some more. I guess I'll wait till later.  A few minutes later, the helicopter is boarded by the same squad, only this time, Jace is among them. I watch the air machine slash the air and takeoff into the horizon. Lil calls me. "Maddy, the Uber guy has officially been deemed assassinated!" 
 "Has he?" 
 "Yes...and there's still no trace to who done it." 
 I brood over this...and what Jace just told me. " All of my drones are weaponized." No...I'm being silly. Frank was killed by a writhing citizen...but wouldn't the FBI have evidence of this?? " That's crazy." 
 "It is! Anyway, how much fun are you two having?" 
 "A lot; I'm being naughty." 
 "Good girl, is that pissing him off?" 
 "Not really...Jace is very tolerable. I hate it! He doesn't let our hot moments go on for too long." 
 "Are we sure he's an actual man? Not a robot?" 
 "You know what, I asked that. He didn't say no." 
 "Oh fuck, he's a walking AI..that explains the body." 
 "I tried to watch him shower, he wouldn't let me," I whine. 
 "That's probably a good thing; you're not ready for it." 
 I laugh. "How are you and Jess?" 
 "She's been pretty quiet for some reason. I think her job is the cause. Maybe it's stress." 
 "Or...she wants something more from the relationship." 
 "Like what?" 
 "Promise not to say I told you." 
 "Huh?" 
 "Act like this was your conclusion." 
 "Maddy, just tell me." 
 "Jess asked me how you feel about marriage." I side eye the phone. Lil is silent for a long period.  Should I have told her? Lil isn't acting happy about it. 
 "When?" 
 "When I stayed over." 
 "Is that why she's being weird." Lily chortles. "Is that all it is?" 
 I snigger. "Yeah." 
 "Why didn't she just tell me?" 
 "She wasn't sure you wanted it...then you said it's something you want way down the line. That upset her." 
 "Oh...damn, I did say that. Jess never talks about it. I thought we were on the same page." 
 "I don't think so. Honestly, I don't think couples are that in sync." 
 "I have a feeling you're talking about us and you and Jace." 
 "Should I move in with him?" 
 "He asked??!" Lil exclaims. 
 "Last night." 
 "Already?" 
 "Yeah." 
 "What are you going to say?" 
 "I said maybe." 
 "Babe...he's going to propose soon." 
 "He needs to stop!" I fold my arms. "What ever happened to courting before marrying??" 
 "There were untraditional marriages back then too. I think this is love at first sight. For real this time." 
 "I don't believe in that." 
 "Seems like Jace does." 
 "I don't get this!" I cover my face. 
 "Your power of virginity is his Kryptonite." She sniggers. 
 "No, he said I make him feel powerful." 
 "He omitted the weak part, trust me." 
 "You think?" 
 "Oh yeah. He doesn't want to fully express the effect you have on him yet. He's trying to see if you're helpless before he admits it. That's why Jace wants you living with him." 
 "Hmm..." 
 "I say do it for a little bit, then come home. Fuck with him some." 
 "It wouldn't matter if I do; he's either gonna be too tamed or make me beg." 
 "Maddy, he'll fold before you. I bet a week apart will have him bitching." 
 "Why are you a guru, bestie?" I titter. 
 "All relationships are the same. You need to be the one in control right now until he dethrones you and pops the question. You know you thought about him being the one." 
 "I have...I think I'm trying to be too rational." 
 "Don't be; relationships aren't always rational...there's no rulebook. Once you accept that, you'll have so much more fun with him." 
 "I am using my head too much. Jace is a dream...all of this is." 
 "Live the dream, bestie." 
 "You mean live the deviant life. I like pushing his buttons. He can't handle when I show too much skin. I made him eat my boobs." I grin wickedly. 
 "Girl...make him go down on you. Be your idol, dominatrix." 
 I bite my nails. "He makes me too shy. I don't know if I can." 
 "Then egg him on as much as you can." 
 "That I can do. I want to be in his office when he comes back." 
 "Do it; follow your urges, boo!" She cheers. 
 At noon, I sneak into his office. It's white and black and contemporary. A half circle desk is set on glassy black floors. The windows are slim and tall, and stripy print style the furniture. My bare feet almost slide on the icy floors.  This isn't what I thought his office would look like. I expected the dark wood and black standard design. Who knew men could have this much taste?  I sit on the desk. The sun ducks behind a patch of clouds. A starburst hue darkens the sky. The heavenly moment lasts for less than a minute. I practically slobber at it the whole time.  I could easily stay here until nighttime.  On the other side of the circle desk, there's a cushioned bench loaded with pillows. I lay across it and go to Twitter. I shriek at what's trending as number 1.  MADISON HART & JACE HARRISON . I click the tab. I scroll down to find retweeted photos of Jace and me at the terminal gate at the airport. I read the tweets. 
 She recovered nicely ,  I   don't blame him 
 
 
 Eh, it's a pity fuck he'll be on to the next  
 
 
 
 
 They look good together. It won't last. lol 
 
 
 
 
 The dog is at it again 
 
 
 
 
 More like pig 
 
 
 
 
 Or hog 
 
 
 
 
 I give it a few weeks #playboy 
 
 
 
 
 She's plain asf 
 
 
 
 
 Right, chick has a boy body, Jace downgraded... 
 
 
 that's sad 
 
 
 I start to type to defend myself. "No...no." I inhale and exit the app.  Ignore the media. They know nothing. I'm not a pity fuck for Jace. And I have the body I was given. If being plain is a bad thing, then I'm crowned queen.  I toss my phone to the end of the bench and massage my temples.  Why did I click? That was dumb. I know how social media is; there's more hate than niceness.  I close my eyes and tell myself: "forget the comments; they are wrong. I know the truth." I breathe with the waves beyond the windows and drop my hands from my temples. My chest meditates, and my mind goes elsewhere.  That vision I had of a groom...it had to be Jace. Who else could it have been? I need to accept that what's going on can lead to marriage. Does he even want that? Dating doesn't mean marriage to the average person. It does to me, though. I want to know his take on it...but I don't want to mention marriage. He'll think I'm a psycho. I can just ask him where does he see our dating leading to?   Yeah, I'll just ask that to get an idea. 
 I doze off and dream about my honeymoon.  Rose petals on the bed, an ocean view, steamy music. Jace carries me in his arms. My wedding gown is glittery and sleek, form fitting, with a heart shaped chest cutout. Jace takes me to the bed, prompts me on a pillow, then strips. I gasp when he reveals a transformer body. All of his muscles seem forged by clay...art of a gladiator god.  "Madison?" I wake to him sitting on the ledge of the bench. "Bad dream?" 
 I eye the buttons on his dress shirt. "No." My fingers race to unfasten the first few. 
 "I love how you're taking advantage of me." He smirks and watches me undo the last one, resting above his crotch. "What did you dream about?" 
 My hands part his shirt and gape at his impeccable, machine body. His nipples and pecks, the cuts of his abs, the slim side handles. That line that separates down the stomach is where my fingers go. I scratch down it. "You stripping." 
 Jace takes off his shirt. His shoulders and forearms are so sharp. "Tell me...is this a good replication?" 
 I swallow and nod. My hands glide his abdomen and beltline. "Yes." When my nails nip at his nipples, he groans. I watch his lazy eyes. "How was the meeting with NASA?" 
 "Kiss them, then I'll tell you." I place my lips on the protrusive flesh. My mouth pecks one nipple, then the other—his hand curls around my throat and clutch. My teeth chomp on them now. Jace hisses out air and sighs. 
 I go to pull his lips with mine like taffy. "Tell me." 
 His mouth attacks my chest and down to the middle of my breast. Jace squeezes my boobs together as one and slurps my nipples through my dress. My leather, tenderized nips ache. "Ahh, uh!" I sing out every time he sucks me. I whack his crotch with a heavy hand. 
 "Oh!"Jace crouches his waist at the hit. That ferocious look returns. He mounts me and touches his chest to mine, followed by his waist. 
 The log between his legs spears me. "Ugh!" I squirm against it. 
 "Hmm. Is that too deep?" He rotates his pelvis. 
 "No." I yelp and moan. 
 "You want more?" Jace drapes one of my legs across his shoulder and rolls up the hem of my dress. His crazed eyes burst. 
 "Yes." I sigh. 
 His lower half does a 360 circle on mine. There's no interruption to the pattern; it's as perfect as a tornado. Frighteningly dangerous yet fascinatingly pleasing. We pant as one; mines are longer, his are rough and short.  There's road rash down there!  I wail loudly and thrust into him. I sound like a crying banshee. The noise from my mouth is unfamiliar, sporadic, and animalistic. "Oh, you sound amazing." He puffs into my ear and then slides a hand up my dress to rub at my vagina. "Grab mine." I shudder and squeak from his hand going up and down. Both of my hands grope his penis through his pants. I drag the mega nerve up and down. "Hmm, oh!" He repeats with every tug. "You're soaked..." He cups his palm before beating my meat. 
 My cherry is whipped by a searing force. "Ahhh!! Oh, uh, uh! Nooo." 
 Jace ceases the patting immediately. "Too much?" I wheeze out air and shut my eyes. "That's enough for you." He unsaddles my leg from his shoulder and puts his hands atop mine to jerk him off. "Help me finish." Our hands pump his dick like a shotgun. It's never ending! Our palms slip down it five times. Jace vibrates, heaves, rumbles, then climaxes a deep song at high volume. 
 Oh my god! What in the world??  I blow out air and move my hands back up to his chest. He gives me a drawn out kiss; I strain my neck for it. "I only ever heard that kind of noise in porn." 
 "I'm glad I brought it to your life." He helps me up. "You need to get cleaned up." 
 "Do I have to leave?" 
 Jace nods. "You do...your scent is strong." 
 "I think I'll stay." I twist my waist. 
 "It's on my hand...I'm going to sniff it. You don't want to be in here when I do." He warns. "Listen. Go." 
 I heed his caution and back away. I watch the hand he spanked my vag with before exiting the office.  Uh oh...that was too far.   I am soaked.  I shower and put on a yellow, green spaghetti strap dress with a high side slit. I dab on some up and mussle my hair.  I hope this is okay to wear.  I locate the outside dining area; it's blazing with candles again. There's steak and lobster, clam chowder, green salad, and baked potatoes. All of the dishes are capped off with glass tops. An icy bucket below the table has two champagne bottles. Jace is watching the sea. I join him. "Am I safe around you now?" 
 He takes my hand and puzzles my body onto his side. "There's no threat anymore." 
 "Really, though, how was the NASA talk?" 
 "I solidified a 35 year investment, sole manufacture for all space gear." 
 "Even the shuttles and rockets?" 
 "Yes." 
 "That's insane! We should have a toast." 
 "We should." He smooches the top of my head. 
 "I have a quick question." I move to stand in front of him and gaze up. The contrast of his dark hair and jade eyes are so poetic. "Where do you see our dating leading to?" 
 "Ideally, marriage." My legs wobble, and I damn near fall over. Jace is fast enough to catch me. "What's wrong?" 
 "I...I...I need to sit down." My voice is hoarse. He chaperones me to a chair. 
 "Talk to me; what's wrong?" 
 "Nothing..." I fight ragged breaths.  Did he really just say marriage?! I predicted this path...but hearing him say it aloud is not the same. 
 "Is that something you don't want?" 
 "Yes...I mean no." I exhale slowly. "I need a minute." 
 "This is off topic, I'm guessing." 
 "It's not..." 
 "Then why did you almost faint?" 
 "I'm peckish." I lie. 
 Jace is skeptical of my excuse, but he still preps my plate for me. Steak, clam chowder, green salad, and baked potatoes are lined onto my plate. "Eat something." He pops open a bottle of fizzy and fills our glasses. When he sits, he observes me drink. My trembling hands are impossible to miss. My throat is tight and veiny, and I fend off dizziness. "Tell me the truth." 
 
 
 
 Chapter 25: Choices & Danger 
 I gulp more Champagne to buy some time.  Stick with being famished...that's all I will give him. Why did I react that way?! I've heard the word marriage all my life, but once he says it, I turn to jelly? I can't do that again.  I place down the glass and relax my body. "I forgot to eat." 
 "And you felt lightheaded exactly when I said the word marriage?" He interrogates. 
 "Yeah." 
 "I don't buy that. The word either upset you or shocked you. Which was it?" 
 "I'll like to skip." 
 "No skipping, answer me." He commands. 
 Oh, he's not a fool. Jace won't let this go. My lie isn't going to hold.  "The word shocked me." 
 "Why?" 
 "That wasn't what I expected to hear." 
 "What did you think I would say?" 
 "Not that...I thought you would say something along the lines of long term." 
 "Matrimony is long term." 
 "It is...but normally, when just dating, it isn't." 
 "Do you want me to stop using the M word?" 
 "Yes." 
 Jace sips from his glass then tilt his head towards my plate. "Eat something." I dig a spoon into a potato stuffed with gravy. "Please start having breakfast." 
 "I don't know how to call the drone." 
 "I'll give you access through your phone." 
 "Alright." 
 "Anything you crave can be prepped." 
 "You said we're alone, but who's cooking our food?" I cock my head to the side. 
 "Nonhumans, my bots are restaurant and maid servants." 
 "How can they cook, though?" I wave my hand to the appeasing plate of food. "This looks top chef." 
 "Simple recipes, proper mixing, and heat index. China began this trend of eliminating living workers. With bots, your food is never overcooked or undercooked nor at risk of getting you sick." 
 "Of course, China started it. I can't wait for food delivery and driving apps to utilize them." 
 "In a decade or two, all labor work will evolve to just that." Jace studies me while I saw my steak. "I don't think I ever said sorry to you for the accident. I only acted the word." 
 "You don't need to say it. I know." I rush a smile his way. 
 "Have you told your therapist what happened?" 
 "Yes." 
 "Could you tell me?" 
 I chew on the mushy steak, wondering if I should.  It's not as sensitive of a subject anymore. I can tell him.  "You know, it still seems like it happened to someone else." 
 "I bet it does, a completely random attack." 
 "Yeah." I cling the fork onto my saucer and eye the food. "Anyway, the guy was a creep and tried taking me somewhere else. He locked the doors and went turbo on the gas. I texted Lil. I tried to get help from the app, but the driver took my phone. I lost all function. I couldn't move until my survival mode made me." My eyes are unblinking. "Then waking up and hearing about myself on the news. That was strange." 
 "That was too much. I made sure no interviewers approached you in the hospital." 
 "And the cops?" I glance his way. "None came to question me or get a drawing." 
 "Them as well. My tech guy, Eric, delivered the photo to the authorities. I didn't want you reliving the horror event." 
 "Thank you." 
 "You're welcome." He nods. His gaze bounces between my eyes sentimentally. "Were you happy when Frank was reported dead?" 
 "No...there are prisons for a reason. I'm not dead, so why should he be?" 
 "You were close!" 
 I glimpse up at him; he's on edge.  Why?  "True...but I'm here." 
 "You trust the justice system enough to punish a sleezbag?!" The flustered undertone of his voice spooks me. 
 "I do." 
 "Two meals a day, plus dessert, bed pillow, and blanket. Outdoors time. That isn't punishment!" He riles. 
 I stumble from my chair and back pace.  No. No. No. It can't be!  "You had him killed?!" My skeleton rattles, and my heart throbs up a storm. 
 "Rightfully so." He gestures to my chair. "Please sit back down." 
 "That was wrong!" 
 "So was his list of victims...kids, teens, young women. The man was a living demon. Tell me you didn't want to kill him? So I can know you're lying." 
 "I did...but only in a nightmare, not in real life!" 
 "The world won't miss him; Frank would have been another fat cat milking the justice system. No death row. No lethal injection. Just comfort for the rest of his life." 
 "That excuse doesn't mean you were right. Two wrongs don't make a right!" I catch my breath between my words. 
 "Madison, you're already unwell; please sit back down." Jace stands. 
 "You can't murder people! I hope you haven't done this before. You said it yourself. All of your tech is weaponized." 
 "For my safety, I'm not a killer. I only gave the order." 
 I recall his group of hitmen. "Was it Alonso? Or one of your other men?" I lose my balance. Jace hurries to me and grabs my arms to steady me. I share a petrified expression with him. "No...no, get away from me!" I push him off and wobble away. 
 The path we took is stretched further now.  Or is my mind disoriented?? How could Jace do such a thing?! Call a hit on someone who was already in custody? How did he get away with it? The FBI isn't on his trail; they might be now that we've been sighted together. But who's to say the police aren't in his pocket. Paid to turn the other cheek?   This is too much!  My vision goes blurry with hysteria. My feet are double due to dizziness as I climb the stairs.  This can't be true. Can't be real. I'm dreaming. No way the man I'm staying with ordered a hit!   I couldn't have heard that right! Jace is too professional, rational, and too in the spotlight to be so reckless.Is the fame and glamour blinding me? Blinding the world of his dirty deed. Or deeds. He has weapons surrounding him, ready to fire off.   Why? 
 I make it to my room and lock the door. I rest my head on it and heave in and out.  What do I do about this? Do I still stay after knowing Jace had someone killed? How do I deal with this?! I thought he was a good guy. A big hearted man. Was I wrong to think this?  My phone is in his office. I should call someone to vent. I don't want to go out. I might vomit at the sight of him.  I gonna have to figure this out on my own. No advice, no calling for help. What do I want to do about this?  I go to the windows, which part ways to a balcony. The waves are heavy, and the wind pressure nearly blows me back. I close my eyes and hold the railing.  I don't want to leave him. We're having so much fun together. I love this place. I may even fall in love with Jace. He's willing to wait for me. Marriage is his endgame. Even though he has blood on his hands, he did it for me. He protected me from danger and from reliving the trauma. Jace loves me, just as my mom said.   I can't pass up love. My heart has been dying for it for so long. I've been sacrificing guy after guy, holding out for it. 
 The next day, I barely leave my bed. I cocoon myself in the sheets and stare at the ceiling. My mind is still lost. I don't have my phone, but that's not an issue. I need a disconnect. I hear a drone outside my door. "Breakfast." It informs.  I'm not hungry....so I ignore it the next time it repeats the word. My brain doesn't have a solution to the issue for the remainder of the day.  The next day, I accept the breakfast and have a clearer idea of the dilemma.  I should leave. This will take time adjusting to. Even if he did it for me, it was horrible.   My teeth bite into French toast topped with a layer of eggs. I obliterate the orange juice.  I crack open the door and check if the coast is clear. I need my phone. My mom is most definitely losing it. I know I have other texts too. When I open the door, a drone is there. "Checking vitals." It scans me head to toe with a green light then its top blinks. "You are stable." 
 I hop past it and go to the office, placing my ear to the door.  I can't tell if he's inside. There's no talking. If he is, I'll trek to my phone and dash out. Oh...who am I kidding? I'll just knock.  I do so three times. There's no reply. My hand turns the long knob. The room is vacant. I walk to my phone, which is still at the end of the bench. When I click the side, there are 13 messages. "Oh no." I tap on the group chat. 
 
 
 Anyone spoke to Maddy today? 
 
 
 
 
 No. 
 
 
 
 
 She's not answering the phone! 
 
 
 
 
 I had a bad feeling about this guy. Where is my princess?? 
 
 
 Was dad right to be uneasy now that I know what Jace has done? I guess dads have radars as moms do.   I text: sorry guys, I didn't have my phone. 
 There's a text from Jace too, sent an hour ago:  I'll be back later; please accept the food outside your door <3 
 I'd rather not text that I want to leave. I'll tell him in person.  I pick out a pink halter top and white shorts and walk the beach. I hear the wheels of a drone trailing behind me. My bare feet sink into the sand for about an hour. I underestimated the vast island—the beach loops on forever. No matter how many miles I put behind me, there's an unmeasurable amount ahead. I'm now by a forest and bushes of red flowers. I halt here and wipe sweat from my forehead.  I'm overheated . I watch the high sun and lumpy water. Then I slosh my feet into the cool liquid until my legs and waist are submerged. I go farther out so that I float on the pure blue sea.  Am I happy Frank is dead?   Jace had a point...prisoners don't suffer as they should. There's no fear because they know the outcome will be lax.   Am I happy he's gone? 
 I glimpse a swarm of flamboyant fish in the distance and observe seaweeds sway. An incoming wave above slightly rocks me.  Am I overreacting? I want to stay. I need to. I feel safe and healthy. Above all, I feel loved. I think that's my answer.  I swim upward, shake out my hair and clear my eyes with my fingers. The drone is halfway in the water.  Did it get unsettled by my being down there too long? Or did Jace. I'm sure he gets live video from the device.  I take wide leaps back to the shore. As I pass it, I say, "I'm fine."  I'm sure the billionaire can hear me.  Locating a beach shower station is easy. My theory is there's one every few miles. I even passed one. I thought it was an outside sauna. It looks exactly like one, despite the water head draping from its roof. I shower off my sandy arms and the sides of my legs. The white pants are spotted brown. My feet tour down a bit more. I want to see more of the land. The forest is piquing my interest... I've never been to one. I wonder how many animals are in there.  "Hey drone, is it safe to go in the forest?" 
 "No, it is not safe. It will be dark soon; time to head back home. Mr. Harrison is returning." 
 "Home..." I speak the word to myself.  Yes, this does feel like home. It could be just that. Should I stay, or should I go?  On the way back, I juggle my decisions. The sunset like a spiky fire, and the moon, on the opposite side, is pure white. The half dark half light sky convinces me to enjoy my time here. When I make it back, I change my shorts to a skirt with a belly gap. There are new texts on my phone screen: 
 
 
 We were close to renting a boat! 
 
 
 
 
 Fr ROTFL 
 
 
 My mom and dad heart my text. I use water to finger comb the sand out of my hair. When it is all out, I have a stringy wet style going on.  That's hot.  I got to the usual dinner spot. But Jace isn't there. I search his office and bedroom, nothing. I text:  Where are you? 
 The incoming text buffers:  Kitchen  I go downstairs to an ultra bright oak kitchen with white appliances and a cyclone window wrapping its circumference. Jace is stirring red wine beef stew in a pot on the stove. His sleeves are rolled up, and his blazer is across his shoulder. "You're cooking? You can cook?" 
 "Why the tone of surprise?" He glimpses at me and then back at the steaming meat. 
 "I thought your bots and chef do it for you." 
 "I lived a normal life before I had all of that." He switches the knob to low then maneuvers to me. "I want your last dinner to be perfect." 
 "Last dinner?" 
 His nails graze down my wet hair. "Yeah...you're mad at me, right? You want to leave." 
 "I'm not mad at you." 
 "Then my standards are too low for you now?" 
 "No...I think you're just a guy. You all get rageful and violent." 
 "One of my kinds flaws. That was wrong of me to do. You're right. The man was locked up. Sadly, chains weren't enough for me." He twiddles his finger at the bottom strains of my hair. "I sense you want to leave." I struggle to answer. Jace goes back to cooking. "If you do, I understand." He stares at me with peril...as if he's at risk of shattering to pieces. "Know that I care about you. Deeply. I had to eliminate your burden." 
 "I get that...I do. My dad would have done the same if given the chance. My ex was close to murdering the guy." 
 "So you're staying?" 
 I shrug. "I don't know what to do. This is crazy. How do I act as if you didn't end someone?" 
 "I'm sorry, forgive me." The vulnerability in both his voice and eyes floor me. I go to his aid, holding his hands in mine. "Don't leave me." 
 I share his frail gaze. "I don't want to." 
 "Then don't." 
 "Jace...this changes things. Have you done this before? Why do you have machinery with guns ready to blast?!" 
 "That was the only time I did anything like that. My armed tech is for my safety." 
 "You're safety. Explain what you mean. And don't make me wait until dinner this time." 
 "Clean energy isn't the most profitable for leading corporations. Gas trumps solar power any day. When I introduced efficient solar power cars, available to all. Stocks for gas dwindled, and my brand increased buyership by 39%. Gas took a hard hit, 55% drop" He glances off to the side. "I've been followed and threatened for such a groundbreaking evolution." 
 "Threatened?!" 
 "Yes." 
 I steer his chin, so he looks at me. "Why?" 
 "Competition, greed. The oil founders fear losing millions of people, which means less money and less power. It also means never ending attacks." 
 My nerves mix me up. My eyes shoot to the window as if a boogeyman is waiting there. "Get away from the window!" I pull him to the side, only by a foot or two. He's heavy. 
 "I'm safe here." He chuckles. "It's alright." 
 "What if you're not?" 
 "I am." 
 "What if you're not..." 
 "This NASA deal has been in the works for years. I gave an ultimatum in our initial conference. To launch a guardian satellite in exchange for advancing their tech by 10 years. That satellite is live and tracks my every movement. If the drones don't ease your mind, that will." 
 "I don't think so...how fast is it." 
 "A few seconds faster than the speed of sound." 
 "How good are the weapons on it?" 
 "Supersonic lasers, with accurate aim." 
 "How do you activate it? What if you're too slow doing it and get-" My lungs clamp shut. 
 "Breathe." He kisses me. "Everything and everyone within 200 miles of me are detected and analyzed." 
 "And if someone has better tech than you one day, what then?" 
 "I doubt that." He scoops up some of the stew with a wooden spoon. "Taste. I want your opinion." 
 I sample it. Tangy, sweet, and sour spark my tastebuds. "Oh, yummy! You need to make this every night. Mr. Top chef." 
 "Share it with me." Jace French kisses me. Our tongues twist and battle each other, and our lips plaster as one. We rotate the kiss in a rough tango, left, right, up and down our necks go. He tastes like spicy cinnamon.  I love it.  I don't even need to eat if this is an option. I scoop the next glob and feed him, scrubbing the juices of it over his lips before licking it off. That's how we eat for the rest of the night. There's no break to the pattern, no warning to stop. No wanting to end it at all. The next day, at sunset, Jace takes me to a ballroom. Its walls are planned white and gold, its floors are oak wood, and its ceiling is made of only stained glass. After last night's hot session, I allowed my fashion to go a bit more flirty. I have on a tight length, yellow dress with a long cleavage line. 
 "Last night has me thinking." He begins. 
 "Me too." I bite my lip. 
 "You followed me pretty well. If you're that good with your mouth, I wonder how well you can tango." 
 I run my hands up his unbuttoned shirt. "I should be just as good." 
 "Hmmm." He mumbles and bites my lip. "Let's see." He places a hand on my back and puts mine on his. Stands 6 inches from me, face to face. He holds my other hand up with his and grasps it firmly to keep it in the air. Jace slowly prances around the room with me, rotating in a counterclockwise circle. "Follow my feet; stay 3 inches away. 
 My heels avoid his feet and keep a good distance. "Is that too far?" 
 Jace pauses and judges. "A little closer, just an inch." 
 I correct myself. "Okay." 
 "Your posture is great; just hold your head high with your spine. Chin forward. Bend your knees slightly to put a bounce in your step." 
 I follow his instructions. "Alright." 
 He smooches my nose. "Ready?" 
 "Yeah." 
 He goes in at a lagging tempo this time. "Mimic my feet." Left foot forward, right foot next, then left again to the right with your right foot. Feet together, moving left to meet right. I copy his sweeping feet motions. Backward right foot, then left foot, and right to the left. Feet together, moving right to meet left. Slow, slow, quick, quick, slow. 
 "Ha, I think I got it. Let's do it again. With music." 
 "Alodia." 
 "Yes, Mr. Harrison." The room responds. I peep around to find where the AI voice is coming from.  Maybe the floor, it sounded below us. 
 " Play tango music. Slow paced." We dance to a rolling saxophone, piano, and bass. I replicate his perfect posture and footwork. We swivel across the dance floor, spinning and stepping as one. Time disappears as we tango in a trance. 
 When I'm confident enough, I pop my hips and dip low so he can bring me back up. I even raise my heel above his head to show off. "Ta da." I snort. 
 He kisses my ankle, then bends my leg onto his side. "That's only a leg. How flexible is the rest of your body?" Like separating scissors, Jace splits our legs, intertwining them underneath each other. We slope low to the floor as if limboing. "Nice." 
 "Once a cheerleader, always a cheerleader's body." 
 We whirl and frolic with sass to the beat. Our bodies and feet swipe over the ballroom for the rest of the night. By the time I'm tired, it's midnight, and my feet are aching. I unstrap them and massage the balls of my feet. "How about no shoes next time." 
 "Way ahead of you." 
 Jace carries me to my room like a damsel in distress.  I wish he would stay in bed with me. I wish he weren't so tamed all the time.  "Goodnight, ma'am." He pecks my forehead. 
 "Goodnight, sir." 
 
 
 Publication Date: May 31st 2022 https://www.bookrix.com/-zs61321b59c9726