William F. Nolan Of Time and Texas 
 
 
 Of Time and Texas Pg 1 
 "In one fell swoop," declared Professor C. Cydwick Ohms, releasing a 
 thin blue ribbon of pipe-smoke and rocking back on his heels, "--I 
 intend to solve the greatest problem facing mankind today. Colonizing 
 the Polar Wastes was a messy and fruitless business. And the Enforced 
 Birth Control Program couldn't be enforced. Overpopulation still remains 
 the thorn in our side. Gentlemen--" He paused to look each of the 
 assembled reporters in the eye. "--there is but _one_ answer." 
   
 "Mass annihilation?" quavered a cub reporter. 
   
 "Posh, boy! Certainly not!" The professor bristled. "The answer 
 is--TIME!" 
   
 "Time?" 
   
 "Exactly," nodded Ohms. With a dramatic flourish he swept aside a red 
 velvet drape--to reveal a tall structure of gleaming metal. "As 
 witness!" 
   
 "Golly, what's _that_ thing?" queried the cub. 
   
 "This _thing_," replied the professor acidly, "--is the C. Cydwick Ohms 
 Time Door." 
   
 "Whillikers, a Time Machine!" 
   
 "Not so, not so. _Please_, boy! A Time Machine, in the popular sense, 
 is impossible. Wild fancy! However--" The professor tapped the dottle 
 from his pipe. "--by a mathematically precise series of infinite 
 calculations, I have developed the remarkable C. Cydwick Ohms Time Door. 
 Open it, take but a single step--and, presto! The Past!" 
   
 "But, _where_ in the past, Prof.?" 
   
 Ohms smiled easily down at the tense ring of faces. "Gentlemen, beyond 
 this door lies the sprawling giant of the Southwest--enough land to 
 absorb Earth's overflow like _that_!" He snapped his fingers. "I speak, 
 gentlemen, of Texas, 1957!" 
   
 "What if the Texans _object_?" 
   
 "They have no choice. The Time Door is strictly a one-way passage. I saw 
 to that. It will be utterly impossible for anyone in 1957 to re-enter 
 our world of 2057. And now--the Past awaits!" 
   
 He tossed aside his professorial robes. Under them Cydwick Ohms wore an 
 ancient and bizarre costume: black riding boots, highly polished and 
 trimmed in silver; wool chaps; a wide, jewel-studded belt with an 
 immense buckle; a brightly checked shirt topped by a blazing red 
 bandana. Briskly, he snapped a tall ten-gallon hat on his head, and 
 stepped to the Time Door. 
   
 Gripping an ebony handle, he tugged upward. The huge metal door oiled 
 slowly back. "Time," said Cydwick Ohms simply, gesturing toward the gray 
 nothingness beyond the door. 
   
 The reporters and photographers surged forward, notebooks and cameras at 
 the ready. "What if the door swings shut after you're gone?" one of them 
 asked. 
   
 "A groundless fear, boy," assured Ohms. "I have seen to it that the Time 
 Door can never be closed. And now--good-bye, gentlemen. Or, to use the 
 proper colloquialism--_so long, hombres!_" 
 
 
 
 Of Time and Texas Pg 2 
 Ohms bowed from the waist, gave his ten-gallon hat a final tug, and took 
 a single step forward. 
   
 And did _not_ disappear. 
   
 He stood, blinking. Then he swore, beat upon the unyielding wall of 
 grayness with clenched fists, and fell back, panting, to his desk. 
   
 "I've failed!" he moaned in a lost voice. "The C. Cydwick Ohms Time Door 
 is a botch!" He buried his head in trembling hands. 
   
 The reporters and photographers began to file out. 
   
 Suddenly the professor raised his head. "_Listen!_" he warned. 
   
 A slow rumbling, muted with distance, emanated from the dense grayness 
 of the Time Door. Faint yips and whoopings were distinct above the 
 rumble. The sounds grew steadily--to a thousand beating drums--to a 
 rolling sea of thunder! 
   
 Shrieking, the reporters and photographers scattered for the stairs. 
   
 Ah, another knotty problem to be solved, mused Professor Cydwick Ohms, 
 swinging, with some difficulty, onto one of three thousand Texas steers 
 stampeding into the laboratory. 
   
 
 
 
 Transcriber's Note Pg 3 
 This etext was produced from _Fantastic Universe_ November 1956. 
    Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that the U.S. 
    copyright on this publication was renewed. Minor spelling and 
    typographical errors have been corrected without note.  
 
 
 Publication Date: February 17th 2015 https://www.bookrix.com/-mk496e398f1e345