Paul Curtis Another Spoonful Of Gentleman's Relish Erotic Poetry For The Discerning Palate 
 
 
   
 TWENTY SOMETHING SWEET YOUNG THING 
 
Twenty something 
Sweet young thing 
You smile at me each day 
“Hello” or “Hi” you might say 
The carriage rattles along 
Rushing us towards the throng 
The train wheels sing a song 
And I picture you in a thong 
You look up from you book 
And give me a quizzical look 
Can you read my thoughts? 
I’d better think about sports 
No, no that doesn’t help at all 
Now you’re playing beach volley ball 
Twenty something 
Sweet young thing 
Looking at me quizzically 
This is the affect you have on me 
Better not read my mind? 
You don’t know what you’ll find 
In my head I often caress  
The soft curves of your tender flesh 
As I divest you of your attire 
And satisfy my every carnal desire 
A smile replaces your quizzical look 
Before your eyes return to your book 
I must not have these thoughts again 
When we are together on the train 
Twenty something 
Sweet young thing 
 
 
SUNDAY SERVICE 
 
Her dark eyes, sultry and steamy 
Flashed a sideward’s glance  
From beneath the black lace of her Mantilla 
He gave her a browse  
A more appraising look altogether 
Her eyes flashed up again 
A lingering languid glance 
Which spoke of her muliebrity 
Not the putative girl 
They were now the cynosure 
Of each others eyes 
No words were spoken 
Everything was intuit 
With amative study  
And libidinous perusal 
She his object of pulchritude	 
He her beloved inamorato 
Then they had to separate 
And the spell was broken 
Until next Sundays reunion 
 
SAPPHO’S FIRST KISS 
When first sweet Sappho 
Kissed me, I was shocked 
The secret of my sexuality 
Was finally unlocked  
 
Sex had always left me cold 
With no heat or fire 
Now with Sappho’s kiss 
I felt the burning desire 
 
This was the first time 
I’d felt this way 
It never occurred to me 
That I might be gay 
 
Her hands fondled me 
Inside my open shirt  
Then she kissed my breasts 
And her hand was up my skirt 
 
My head was swimming 
As my nipples felt her lips 
Then she pulled my pants down 
Over my trembling hips 
 
While she sucked my nipples 
And kissed my breasts 
I felt the ecstasy 
Of Sappho’s pudendal caress 
 
BLACK SILK DRESS 
 
Her black silk dress 
Fitted her like a sheath 
The taut lines showed 
Her nakedness beneath 
 
Save for black-stockings 
Gartered at the thigh 
Stimulating to the loins 
And pleasing to the eye 
 
She turned every head 
With her glamorous allure 
Filled each one with thoughts 
None of which were pure 
 
THE PRIAPIC YOUTH 
 
The priapic youth 
Has a sexual obsession 
He thinks about sex so much 
He has a permanent erection 
 
Even when it stands at ease 
He will still have a semi on 
And he will produce semen 
Sufficient to fill a demijohn 
 
Every thing in his life 
Will turn on the priapic youth 
To such an extent he is 
Preoccupied with self abuse 
 
A glimpse of a girl’s neck 
Is enough to get him randy 
Then it’s out with the old chap 
For a quick hand shandy 
 
He’ll wake with “an early riser” 
Each and every morn 
So he starts the day with a tug 
On his “dawn horn” 
 
He’ll pull the pud after breakfast 
Beat his meat before brunch 
He’ll knock one out at elevensies 
And spank the monkey at lunch 
 
After tea he chokes the chicken 
In the shower he has a glop 
Watching telly a knuckle shuffle 
And in bed he’ll bash the bishop 
 
Such is a day in the life 
Of a priapic youth and his issues 
Who masturbates to excess 
And gets through a lot of tissues 
 
 
SAPPHO’S INTIMATE KISS 
 
In my nakedness I surrendered to her 
Yielding to her dominance 
Like a bitch before her alpha 
Proffering my soft underbelly 
She knelt before me 
And pushed my thighs apart 
My head swam 
And my heart beat hard in my chest 
Blood coursed through my veins 
And roared in my ears 
Then she leant forward  
And kissed my quivering belly 
And began her southerly progression 
Moving slowly and purposely 
And kissing my skin along the route 
She paused to nuzzled my bush 
Savoring the scent 
Then she arrived at the source of my anticipation 
The mound of eager flesh 
The expectant petals open 
Moist like a dewy rose 
Then her tongue touched the petals 
Of my moist blossom 
And my body shook 
With each clitoral stimulation 
Of this oral assignation 
My body quaked in spasm 
Of each successive orgasm 
Until I reached that enviable state of bliss 
Thanks to Sappho’s intimate kiss 
 
PANDORA 
 
Pandora was a bit of a trollop 
You’d often find her round the docks 
Though she would disagree 
And thought herself a bit of a fox 
But what made her more doxy than foxy 
Was the odour from Pandora’s box  
 
 
STAND FOR THE KING 
 
In Cumalot, Big King Dick 
Really lived up to his name 
In his kingdom he’d shagged 
Every damsel and dame 
 
Then one summer morning 
With not a cloud in the skies 
A terrible thing happened 
King Dick failed to rise 
 
His Royal Prince was limp 
Rung out and pathetically flaccid 
His mojo had deserted him 
King Dicks libido was dead 
 
He called the court physician 
Who prepared him an elixir 
He called the court sorcerer 
Who prepared him a philtre 
 
But when cure-all and love potion 
Failed to raise the dead 
They tried erotic love balms 
And sexual salves instead 
 
But when these proved nostrum 
Failing to raise the dead 
The King lost his temper 
Ordering the removal of their heads 
 
He sent for the Royal love-smiths 
The most alluring in the land 
The dangerously seductive, 
Sultry temptresses took him in hand 
 
When the Royal Dick was still limp 
They tried something else 
Kissing every erogenous point 
But this failed to quicken his pulse 
 
So after he’d exhausted his supply 
Of all his tarts and bints  
He called for the Royal carpenter 
To fashion him a splint 
 
But this was no real solution 
And it merely made him wince 
Especially when he got a splinter 
In his flaccid little Prince 
 
He looked at dirty pictures  
And he read erotic literature 
He watched his soldiers shagging 
He was so desperate for a cure 
 
So when every thing had failed him 
He took to his bed in disgust 
Wouldn’t speak to his courtiers 
He just reminisced of his lust 
 
Then one day sickness was abroad 
And he waited for breakfast in bed 
Instead of his hot little maid 
A mangy old crone came instead 
 
He looked at the warty face crone 
Moving about to and fro 
And King Dick felt the stirrings 
Of the Royal Prince down below 
 
He leapt out of bed and grabbed her 
And quickly removed his nightgown 
Then he bent the crone over a chair 
And the little Prince was crowned 
 
From that day on in the kingdom 
No crone was safe from his lust 
Dirty ugly and warty faced   
The Kings little Prince wasn’t fussed 
 
LOLITA’S SLAVE 
 
This sexually precocious Lolita  
Who so enflamed my Ardour 
This most vivacious temptress 
I longed to hold and caress 
Infected me with her allure 
And with no antidote or cure 
She holds me captive in her spell 
And simply bends me by her will 
 
 
PHILANDER 
 
Flirtation and casual sexual affairs 
“Playing away” that is to philander 
No sexual conquest is too trivial 
A quick blow job or a knee-trembler 
 
DESPERATELY SEEKING TOTTIE 
 
In bars and pubs 
In joints and clubs 
In bawdy brothels 
And pervert chapels 
In dens of iniquity 
You seek promiscuity 
Girls of easy virtue 
Happy to insert you 
 
EARLY ARRIVAL 
 
At premature ejaculators anonymous 
I sat all alone in the meeting room 
And I pondered my solitary situation 
And concluded that I just came too soon 
 
DOWN AT THE BEACH 
 
The beach was deserted 
And silent 
But for the gentle breaking of the waves 
They were both naked 
Her on her knees looking out to sea 
He knelt behind her in the moonlight 
Smelling her hair before nuzzling her neck 
His hands were on her ample hips 
His nuzzles turned to kisses 
As his finger tips brushed 
The soft flesh of her nakedness 
His hands slid upwards across her silky skin 
To caress the cupola’s of her breasts  
And as his fingers teased her swelling mamilla 
She turned her head toward him 
And their mouths met 
In wet hungry consumption 
As passion intensified 
He slid one hand slowly down across her belly 
Fingers dallying briefly 
In the lushness of her bush 
Before finding the moist recess he sought 
Her fervid response to his fingering 
Brought her to the brink 
And then bending her at the waist 
He quickly pushed her forward    
Until her head touched the sand 
This presented her round buttocks to him 
So he could see her open lipped pudendum 
Glistening moistly in the moonlight 
He slid his hands up and cupped her  
Pendulous breasts  
Caressing breast and teat 
As he penetrated her heat 
 
 
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR? 
 
Are you looking for someone perchance? 
To partner in physical love’s erotic dance 
It doesn’t matter to any of us though 
If you just want to go at it with gusto 
Maybe you have a penchant for a tart? 
One of easy virtue but one with a heart 
Or do you hanker more for a nympho 
A raver to satisfy your burning libido 
Does your bent lean towards a temptress 
Or someone you can use as a mattress 
No I think you look for more from your life 
You are looking for a girl to be your wife 
 
 
YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE TO ASK 
 
You don’t even have to ask 
I am at your beck and call 
If you have the urge 
You can have me up against a wall 
 
You don’t even have to ask 
You don’t need to say please 
Just snap your fingers 
And I’ll be on my knees 
 
You don’t even have to ask 
Just unzip your trouser fly 
Then I will do the rest 
I’m always here to satisfy 
 
You don’t even have to ask 
We don’t even need to kiss 
Just use me as a vessel 
I will never ever resist 
 
You don’t even have to ask 
I am at your beck and call 
But today like every day 
You don’t notice me at all 
 
WHEN AUNTY RUTH CAME TO VISIT 
 
My Aunty Ruth came to visit 
She wasn’t my real Aunty 
She was my mum’s best friend 
But she was a real beauty 
Oh what a sight she was 
To gladden a young mans eye 
As she crossed her legs 
Exposing an expanse of thigh 
Another adjustment of her posture 
Disclosed she was naked underneath 
I could see right up her dress 
All the way up to the heath 
She knew I was looking at her 
And I went very red indeed 
Though I don’t know if she knew 
That I filled my pants with my seed 
 
 
BRONCO FILLY 
You would have said  
She was attractive 
Glamorous even, certainly alluring 
Which aroused my physical desire 
And in my lustful state 
I could have creamed my jeans 
Just looking at her 
But I didn’t need to 
There was a libidinous look in her eyes 
And they were looking at me 
So we began with a simple kiss 
Which became more fervent 
Her ardency led to torrid embrace 
And her caress touched 
Every erogenous point of sensitivity 
Until she was sexually receptive  
Like a beast in Oestrus 
And she mounted me 
Riding me like a bronco 
Until I was tamed 
 
COME ON DARLING HEAR MY PLEA 
 
Come on darling 
Lets play hide the sausage 
Let’s not hesitate 
Come on darling hear my plea 
Come on lets have a shag 
You can choose which way 
Monkey on a stick, reverse cowboy 
Missionary or doggy fashion 
Something new maybe 
Like splitting the cicada 
We can play with sex toys 
I’ll insert ticklers up your vaginal canal 
Or you can bite the pillow 
For some penetration anal 
If you don’t want a shag 
A hand job or a tit-wank will do 
Or please take it in the scull 
I promise not to come in your face 
When I tip my barrow 
But you may get a pearl necklace 
When I lose my load 
You can sit on my face 
Give me a golden shower 
Get your knickers off 
And I’ll give you a nosh 
Just get your kit off 
I promise to make you quiver and shiver 
And shudder and judder 
But please please remember 
A sixty year old man 
Should never waste an erection 
 
LUCKY GUY 
 
I knew from the look in her eyes 
That I was the lucky guy 
Who in some form or guise 
Would get between her thighs 
And hear her deep throated cries 
Then revel at her climactic sighs 
 
 
LADY LUST 
 
Lady Lust  
Doused in heavy musk 
Outrageously flirty 
Exotic, erotic, earthy and dirty 
She didn’t bother with underwear 
She knew what she wanted and didn’t care 
A woman full of desire 
Looking for someone to quench her fire 
On that day she chose me 
To satisfy her sexually 
And each satisfying penetration 
Culminated in ecstatic ejaculation 
And I made love to lady lust 
Til there was nothing left but dust 
 
 
MY THOUGHTS ARE SINFUL # 3 
 
My thoughts are sinful 
Of your beauty lavishly garnished 
In a state of partial undress 
Your fingers manicured and varnished 
Toying with my shaft 
Your reputation forever tarnished 
 
THE LIBERTINE 
 
The libertine, devotee of the immoral 
Master of the sexual conquest 
Racks up countless sexual relationships 
Because that’s what he does best 
A real love them and leave them type 
He is only interested in sexual gratification 
A libertine just satisfies his appetites 
And he doesn’t blame it on a mythical addiction 
 
 
MY THOUGHTS ARE SINFUL # 4 
 
My thoughts are sinful 
I like to think of sin 
I like to see you smile 
I like to see you grin 
But I’d really like to see 
With my balls upon your chin 
 
CONCUPISCENCE # 3 
 
Each man doth aspire 
With she he doth admire 
To ignite loves blazing fire 
And then the burning desire  
Of the impassioned esquire 
Is to quench the maiden’s fire  
 
 
ROSE TINTED GOGGLES 
 
She walked boldly into the pub 
Mutton dressed as lamb 
In clothes that didn’t suit her figure 
Or her generation 
She had too many miles on the clock 
From all the journeys round the block 
She was a real old spunker 
With a bad case of “tits on belly” 
Plus she had hairy armpits 
And was decidedly smelly 
Nonetheless viewed through beer goggles 
She would look more attractive 
And would doubtless see some action 
 
 
CONCUPISCENCE # 4 
 
In my fecundity I see you 
And all the dirty things you do 
Self-abuse and things of that kind 
And being rogered from behind 
But I don’t feel any shame 
Because you don’t even know my name 
 
THE GIRL OF MY DREAMS 
 
While I sleep with eyes shut tight 
I dream of a girl dressed all in white 
This beautiful girl with an adoring smile 
And eyes so green they bewitch and beguile 
She stands before me this maiden fair 
And runs her fingers through my hair 
Then I feel the touch of her caress 
And a single kiss of such tenderness 
Then the beautiful maiden fair  
Whispered 'I love you' in my ear  
I was alone come the morning light 
I hope I see the girl again tonight 
 
BEAUTY AND THE BEAST 
 
A pulchritudinous creature 
Oblivious to the turmoil  
Stirred in a young mans chest 
Tamed the beast in me  
Sublimating me 
From my true desires 
Quelling the fires 
Redirecting my passions 
Reemploying my sexual energy 
So we partake 
Of the socially acceptable 
Exercise our creative bent 
Until the time is right 
That blessed moment 
When love supplants lust  
And passions flame can burn 
 
 
A SHADOW OF YOUR FORMER SELF 
 
In your younger days 
Your figure was quite svelte 
You were trim and fit 
And you didn’t need a belt 
 
You were dapper and neat 
And sartorially proud 
Now your clothes are garish 
And horribly loud 
 
In your untailored attire 
You lack any kind of taste 
And all of your trousers 
Have an elasticated waist 
 
Your health is not the best 
You have a dicky heart 
Your digestion is quite iffy 
And you’re prone to fart 
 
I look back to the past 
And the feelings I felt 
When your manly cologne  
Was the only thing I smelt 
 
Now that you're mature 
And your skin no longer fits 
For some unknown reason 
I still love you to bits 
 
BITCHIN’ BABE 
 
Wow as you passed slowly by 
You really caught my eye 
With your figure so top class 
Can I grope and squeeze your arse? 
You have a very ample chest 
Can I fumble inside your vest? 
Are you moist beneath the waist? 
Will you let me have a taste? 
Oh your hips gyrate and tease 
Let me split your whiskers please 
Let me leave you in a state of bliss 
If not I will gladly settle for a kiss 
 
SERENDIPITY IN ALL ITS SPLENDOUR 
 
She walked towards me 
And my eyes were drawn 
To her unfettered breasts, 
Which danced erotically 
Inside her white blouse. 
She saw me staring 
But my gaze was transfixed 
As she passed me 
She glanced in my direction  
A glance conveying utter disgust 
Then she threw her head back 
Rather theatrically 
And headed for the street door 
I turned to watch her leave 
Enjoying her buttocks 
Doing a very dirty rumba 
She stopped at the door 
Then gave me another look 
Again heavily laced with disgust 
Just at that moment 
The sun suddenly appeared 
From behind a cloud 
Which illuminated the girl 
Dramatically from behind 
This serendipitous event 
Rendered her blouse transparent 
And her perky breasts 
Were revealed in all their splendour  
Unaware of her circumstance 
She made a questioning head movement 
Which seemed to ask 
“Have you seen enough?” 
I nodded and said allowed 
“I have now thank you” 
 
 
DEFLATED 
 
I used to rise at dawn 
And marvel at my erection 
Such a thing of beauty 
So wonderful in its perfection 
But those days are behind me 
Its flaccid now upon inspection 
And to raise it from its flaccidity 
I must consume some blue confection  
And thus perform a miracle rising 
Akin to the resurrection 
 
OPPOSITES ATTRACT # 3 
 
What a strange affair 
That mismatched pair 
A pair of opposites 
Caviar and grits 
What did they do? 
That mismatched two 
Who were juxtaposed? 
He fucked her, I suppose 
 
THE HUNTER 
 
Pubs and clubs he scours 
In the wee small hours 
To use his seductive powers 
On the maidens he devours 
Then in the early hours 
The maidens he deflowers   
Are left like wilting flowers 
He then returns to gothic towers 
Where he then showers 
 
 
PLAYING AROUND  
 
She was my little sex kitten 
Lively and playful 
Very kittenish indeed 
I had long hankered after her 
With her Reassuring curvaceousness 
And the feeling was apparently mutual. 
She had a liking for the open air 
And a penchant for the dangerous 
So while her husband played 18 holes 
We played around 
And made love in the long grass 
Beside the eighteenth green 
 
 
DIRTY DANCING 
 
Joanne the willowy vixen 
Willing and welcoming 
Dancing on the pole   
Writhing and gyrating  
Erotically cavorting 
Like a gracile courtesan 
Suppliantly performing for the clientele 
Of dirty old men and drunken letches 
Debasing herself for meagre reward 
In seedy surroundings 
Selling herself to wealthy businessmen 
With her nakedness she begs 
For more paper currency 
She calls herself an exotic dancer 
But she’s no better than the geisha 
Who satisfies a Mikado’s libido 
 
 
COLLAR AND CUFFS 
 
Hey there blondie I really like your hair 
But I bet that it’s a different shade down there 
I bet you don’t have any white blonde thatch 
Your collar and cuffs certainly won’t match 
Or maybe a mismatch really isn’t anticipated 
Possibly you have already defoliated 
I don’t mind you with or without down below 
I’m am an easy to please kind of fellow 
And if you’re a bottle blonde I don’t care  
Or if there is a mismatch with body hair  
Any way it comes that’s my simple philosophy 
And besides it’s not something I’m likely to see 
 
 
A LITTLE BIT OF IRISH  
 
She is my southern Irish bundle of fun  
If you want a good time girl she’s the one 
She drinks like a fish and dances till dawn 
She’ll run around naked on your front lawn 
She likes to gamble but doesn’t do drugs 
And likes to drink Guinness from mugs 
She is the one who paints the town red 
There’s never a dull moment it has to be said 
Then later you can have a quiet Canoodle 
Until you unleash her inner sex poodle 
Then she’s a sex crazed Barbie doll 
Who doesn’t know when to stop at all 
For outside she’s sweet as apple strudel 
While inside she’s a spanky sex poodle 
 
 
SPEAK DIRTY TO ME 
 
She wears sexy underwear 
And speaks dirty to me 
I handle her roughly 
Like a rag doll 
I bend her to my will 
I grope at her breasts 
Toy with her nipples 
My fingers first probe 
Then penetrate her hot wetness 
And revel in her response 
Then she begs me to enter 
And as I do I feel her shudder 
Such burning passion  
Consumes us both 
As we are lost in the baseness of the act 
Filthy words spill from her lips 
As we exorcized our lust 
Then sweet ecstasy 
In the moment 
Of our passions culmination 
 
 
BLACK MASS 
 
She slipped off her long leather coat. 
Revealing just her underwear 
Standing before me dressed all in black 
A leather Basque, lace panties 
A garter belt and stockings 
And six-inch stiletto heels 
I was instantly aroused 
And wanted her there and then 
But instead she knelt before me 
At the alter of my lust 
And took the sacrament 
 
 
 
 
 Publication Date: October 15th 2010 https://www.bookrix.com/-biggus