text: Iamme.13 Stuck In The Moments After... Barely Making It. 
   
   
    Just Breath  
   
           Breathing in the damp air that surrounds me, I see a dark allyway that looks like a living hellhole...Hmmm seems like something I might acctually enjoy. I take a few steps toward it when I see the flash of a small car's headlights... Those few moments changed my life forever. 
      *** 
           I live a very complicated,misundrstood life. Yes, I go to school at Hamith School of Music, Yes I have crazy friends who like to annoy me, but I also have the biggest secret ever. It isn't like any plain out girl-getting-all-gougou eyes-for-guys secret though...It's a real secret, the kind people acctually Want to hear, but what makes it so special is it is my secret...and I want to share it with you. My secret started out when I was fourteen, when everything was starting to get complicated... Girls would call me names like "trashy hoe" or "trailor trash" or just flat out call me a whore, but the truth was...I hadn't even ever had a boyfriend much less be sleeping with them! It hurt, but I had to learn that The Bitches and their drama wasn't anything I needed to worry about. 
           But one day I had had enough and my feelings exploded... 
           I'm not much of a talker and I'm certainly not all that good at backtalking, but that day something just went off in my head... His name was Shane Malcom. He had dark hair that didn't even quite touch his eyebrows, beautiful green-blue eyes that you clould almost get lost in, and a body any girl would drull over...well except for me and I hated him and it just so happened he hated me to, so when he came into the GIRLS locker room holding a video camera, I kinda decided to hate him even more and my furry I already had for him exploded! The next thing I knew I was walking straight up to him with my fist clenched at my sides ready for him to say one word to me. 
           But the only thing that came out of his mouth was... 
    "Wow nice rack Jay!" I could feel the heat on my face as I stooped quickly to throw my towel around my waist scense it had some how fallen off in the rush of everything. I ran as quickly as I could to grab my clothes and out the door I was, but the last image I caught of the scene was of Shane Malcom... holding his video camera in his right hand,,, smileying after me. 
          I had to keep telling myself to calmdown before anyone seen me crying, but I couldn't help it. I was completly humiliated! But I guess that just goes to show what the real Jade Carter is about. I've know Shane scence I was two and we use to be best friends, but that was before he started to like the popular kids and before he got on the football team, but most importantly that was before he turned into a total jerk. 
   
   
   
   Just Follow Your Haert 
   
            It's the day after the totaly embarrasing one and I have yet another problem...I missed the bus. Not like I really care though, but my house is like 14 blocks from the school and i'll be good to make it there by second period. So I get up out of bed, but the first thing that catches my attention is the pictureframe on my nightstand. It's a picture of me and my mom stnding out by the lake that I once swamin during the summer, but when I was 8 my mother got lung cancer and died when I was 10 and a half. I miss her so much and honestly she's the only thing that keeps me going everyday. After I take a few moments just to enjoy the picture I had to get up and go. So I got my faded jeans on and brushed my wild dark brown hair and out the door I went. 
                    *** 
            When I finally got to school it was at the begging of second period and of course it just had to be the class I have with Shane... And it also just so happens that he sits right beside me. When I walked through the doors everyone looked straight at me, but I kept my head high and my feet steady as I slowly walked down the isles to my seat in the  far back corner. The first thing that pops into my head is, first off Shane must to have sent that video to everyone and two I should really slap him. I'm not going to of course, but I do give a wicked go to hell look at him.  
            After I sit down he starts whispering to me... 
        "Hey Jay..."He whispers softly. 
        "Jay...Please don't be mad at me."He says southingly to me. 
        "Jade Melondy Carter I know you hear me."He says louder than before and when he does the teacher looks up from behind his big planing book. 
        "Is there a problem Mr.Malcom?"He says with impatience in his voice. 
        "No sir..." Shane says quietly. 
       The teacher slowly lets his eyes travel back to his book, but as soon as he does Shane rips out a piece of paper from his notebook he's always writing in and scribbles something down. He looks up from the paper every now and then to "pretend" he's paying attention, but when he's finally finished he looks at me and hands me the paper... 
       "Jade Please wait till after class to read it and don't let anybody else read it,Ok?" 
     I just slowly node my head yes and the bell rings to go to fourth, but before I get out the door Shane grabs me by the arm.  
        "Jade,...I'm sorry"He says it with so much seriousness in his eyes and patience in his features that I just couldn't help to believe him, so what I did then was something I never would have even guessed would happen to me, but I took the note out of my pocket that He wrote Me and read every word of it...takeing all of it straight to my haert... 
                    *** 
      Dear Jade, 
         First off, I really want to say that I didn't know you where going to be in that locker room...And that I'm really sorry for not coming after you, but I figured you already so mad at me.I can't stand to see you mad or hurt. I know this is huge for you because this a really big deal for me, but I reallly just wanted to say that I want to be friends with you again Jade... I don't care if you even act like it at school, but I want to go back to the way things wear when I told you everything and you cared for me and most importantly...So you wont hate me anymore...I love you Jade even if I don't show it I do and I know it's a crapy way to say it in a note, but you just make me so nerves, I couldn't even dream of telling you in person untill I knew how you felt about me, so please Jade just...Tell me what you want and I can do it for you, I promise... 
       As I lay in my bed that night I think of everything...Trying to figure everything out and get things organized so I'll know what to do, but as I lay there my mind keeps wondering to that one person...that makes me feel like I'm loved. I think about him for a long while untill this little glimmer of hope shines through and I believe that he loves me, but the thing is that I'm not so sure if I'm in love with him to...I guess I just gotta follow my haert and maybe it'll tell me what to do. 
   
   
   
   Just Do It! 
   
               Buzzzzzz, Buzzzzzz, Buzzzzzz! That's my alarm clock going off. It kinda gets on my nerves, but I gotta deal with it ya know? Well anyways it's Saturday today so I can sleep in... 
                 *** 
           I wake with a start. Or did something wake me? Yes, I think so. I can feel someone watching me very intently, like the eyes of a hulk fixing to strike his pray. My eyes are still closed and I   can just feel the un errie presence around me. I slowly lift up my head and there standing in the middle of my tossled, dirty room was Shane Malcom... Standing there with pitch black eyes and teeth that were so sharp looking I just kneew something was up... 
        "Shane?"  I whisper softly because I'm not fully awake. 
       "Yes, love?" And before I knew what was happing I was in his arms and he was striking my hair with the most gentalist touch. I fell almost imediatly under his spell.  
        "Shane, what are you doing?" I ask letting out a kind of histerical laugh. 
        "What you wanted...'To have just one person hold me and at least act like they care.'"He said. "But I'm not ralyy acting like I care because Honestly? I really do care about how you feel." 
        I smile at him weakly. "I can't believe you remember me telling you that. When did I tell you that? In like 8th grade wasn't it?" 
        He just smiled shyly. 
         "Yea. And look at us now Seniors..." I looked into his eyes and said,"Why did you wait so long?" 
       "Because I knew you hated me for being such a jer 
   
   
   Publication Date: January 9th 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-iamme.13