text: ILEE COLEMAN THE INVOLUNTARY EUTHANIZATION OF INNOCENCE 
   
   
     
   Summertime in New York City, circa 1980’s,  
   
  usually signaled fun and freedom from the  
   
  repetitive “ dunundrums 
   ” associated  
   
  with its counterpart… Winter 
   . With  
   
  school eradicated from the daily equation, pre-adolescent  
   
  crews had all day to sleep and all night to “creep”.  
   
   
  Eight million people with eight million stories spread out  
   
  over five distinct areas, in which native New Yorker’s  
   
  call them boroughs, constructed the macro-neighborhood.  
   
  Toss into this mix the ability to travel to your  
   
  destination via a mere 75 cent fare and the curiosity of a  
   
  young lad treading on the cusp of becoming a teenager and  
   
  you get a picture of an ever changing playground. 
   
   
  Harry’s family lived in the Bedford Stuyvesant (Bed-Stuy)  
   
  area of Brooklyn and he lived in the Bronx. On the weekends  
   
  Harry would travel to Brooklyn because it felt like home to  
   
  him. See, Harry was born in Brooklyn, lived in Brooklyn as  
   
  a small child and relentlessly ventured to Brooklyn as if  
   
  Brooklyn couldn’t make it without him.  
   
   
  Project Housing was all too familiar for Harry and his  
   
  friends. To stick out your chest and rep your hood was  
   
  something of an honor badge but truth be told there is no  
   
  difference from one to the other. Some were bigger, some  
   
  were taller, some were cleaner and some were more  
   
  intimidating but they all shared multiple consistencies –  
   
  the biggest being  POVERTY 
   . 
   
   
  Spending nights in a crowded apartment with pissy bed- 
   
  neighbors was the price to pay when you became an overnight  
   
  guest. Gun shots were as recognizable as the ice cream  
   
  truck. Animals thrown from the rooftops were not surprising  
   
  and alcohol was the favorite choice of beverage for the  
   
  adults.  
   
   
  When the alcohol took over, Harry took to the streets. He  
   
  and his clan did what regular pre-teen and teens did. They  
   
  played with the other kids, harassed the pretty little  
   
  girls and boasted superiority in whatever activity proved  
   
  most popular to the masses. During this time the emergence  
   
  of the video arcade game was exploding and kids were more  
   
  than obliged to do their part by donating “cased” quarters  
   
  to feed the machines.  
   
   
  At the local corner Pizza Shop Harry became a Space  
   
  Invaders junkie. He would be there eating Pizza and playing  
   
  as if he lived there. Any money that he managed to obtain  
   
  would be already allocated to his battle to save the world  
   
  from invading green martians. 
   
   
  As Harry’s neighborhood popularity grew so did his hood- 
   
  knowledge. Keep your money in different places on your body  
   
  as others would try to dig in your pockets and claim your  
   
  buried treasure; The arcade screen should always serve a  
   
  dual role and be used as a two way mirror to see behind you  
   
  and to the side of you, for lack of awareness could get you  
   
  knocked out cold; Keep one eye fixed on your food server as  
   
  many unaware patrons would eat more than pizza with cheese  
   
  and pepperoni. 
   
   
  The biggest lesson that Harry engulfed was survival of the  
   
  fittest also applied to adults as well. In the house the  
   
  adults were the authority and the harm that may be bestowed  
   
  upon a child could be a good ole fashion ass-whipping but  
   
  in the streets it’s a whole different story. The lesson  
   
  Harry was about to learn one summer evening from that pizza  
   
  shop would not only steal his innocence but stiffle his  
   
  ability to trust and communicate. An incredibly different  
   
  experience was lurking in the shadows and stalking an  
   
  already brittle life that was already bruised by alcoholism  
   
  and bad choices. 
   
   
  The weekend adventures to that pizza shop were becoming the  
   
  norm for Harry and his pals. Their lives were being  
   
  controlled from a motherboard and the hazards which came  
   
  along with the territory were only mere side effects. One  
   
  Saturday visit Harry noticed some of the kids playing for  
   
  free as a man would just feed what seemed to be a never  
   
  ending supply of quarters to the machines. Hours upon hours  
   
  the other kids would play games for free. Harry wanted to  
   
  be included within the surplus but was afraid to inquire.  
   
  He could loudly hear his mother’s voice telling him NOT to  
   
  talk with strangers. Soon, Harry found himself playing  
   
  arcade games without spending a dime. He had become a part  
   
  of the circle without even asking and he thought it was  
   
  cool.  
   
   
  The supplier, who we will call Jay, introduced himself to  
   
  Harry and then it dawned on him why he looked so familiar.  
   
  He worked in the corner bodega and had helped Harry and his  
   
  friends out plenty of times with finding items within the  
   
  store. Jay stated that he was a video game connoisseur who  
   
  was planning to open an arcade shop and he was looking for  
   
  trustworthy people to work  
   
  there. “ Wow 
   !” Harry thought to  
   
  himself. In his mind, Jay was no longer a stranger and he  
   
  would be able to play video games all day, be around the  
   
  other kids and make money doing something he loved. The  
   
  opportunity was spectacular-especially for an underage pre- 
   
  teen who wasn’t legally able to work yet. See, you needed  
   
  working papers to get a job in NYC and that milestone  
   
  became available at fourteen. Harry was roughly two years  
   
  shy but if he kept his mouth shut then he could work during  
   
  his outside play time and make his own money. Harry asked  
   
  Jay “ Are any of those jobs available to  
   
  me 
   ?” Jay’s reply informed Harry that he would have  
   
  to interview for a position so Jay paid for a slice of  
   
  pizza and then they sat down at a booth. The shop had  
   
  constant traffic flow and it didn’t seem out of bounds that  
   
  a grown hispanic man was sitting alone at a booth with a  
   
  young black kid- especially in that goulash of a  
   
  neighborhood. 
   
   
  Jay began asking questions. “ Have you  
   
  ever had a job? Can you be trusted to handle money 
   ?”  
   
  etc. Shortly thereafter the questions shifted from job to  
   
  family to sexuality. “ Do you like  
   
  girls 
   ?”  Do I like girls 
   ?!  
   
  Harry replied. “ Are you serious or just  
   
  teasing me 
   ?” The line of questioning made Harry a  
   
  bit uncomfortable and he wanted to blow up on Jay but if he  
   
  did he may not be considered for his dream job and I would  
   
  miss out on an opportunity for losing his cool. So he just  
   
  chuckled it off.  
   
   
  After the interview Harry wanted to play another game but  
   
  they were all being used. He was feeling a bit excited  
   
  because in the back of his mind he had just maneuvered a  
   
  way to play games all day and be paid for it. He was taking  
   
  a step toward becoming an independent young man plus he  
   
  wanted to brag to his buddies who lived there. 
   
   
  The sunset on this day had soon retired and dusk was  
   
  surrendering to nightfall. Jay turned to Harry and asked  
   
  him to take a walk with up the block to get a package.  
   
  Harry agreed to go as his “ spider- 
   
  senses 
   ” were all clear. He had walked with friends  
   
  many places around the neighborhood without any incident so  
   
  far. Harry also knew that around the corner and up the  
   
  block there was a weed spot that he had been to before with  
   
  an older neighborhood friend.  
   
   
   *(It’s funny how many children are uninterested  
   
  in any type of alcohol or drug at a young age as they see  
   
  firsthand how it can destroy a family but they sure know  
   
  where and how to obtain them) 
   
   
   
  As they left the shop and proceeded to turned the corner  
   
  Harry was sure they were headed to that weed spot and Jay  
   
  continued to talk about how the arcade business was gonna  
   
  be a money maker. As they neared the side of the building  
   
  which was the weed spot, Jay made a sudden turn into an  
   
  abandoned brownstone building which had a lot of rubble on  
   
  the side as if something was demolitioned there. Harry  
   
  paused slightly as Jay walked around to the side and then  
   
  motioned for him to proceed. It seemed weird at first but  
   
  Harry thought to himself “ heck it’s something  
   
  new in the hood that I’m gonna learn about and I don’t want  
   
  to seem like a square in front of my new boss 
   .” 
   
   
  Both entered the abandoned building but Harry could hardly  
   
  see his own hand in front of his face. The moonlight that  
   
  trickled in from a missing window was meek at best and it  
   
  later proved to be the guiding light for a dramatic escape.  
   
  Harry was wondering how Jay was able to see but maybe there  
   
  was something to this he was unaware of. Jay led him to  
   
  what seemed to be a sofa in the middle of nowhere. They sat  
   
  down and then Jay attempted to do the unthinkable. He put  
   
  his arm around the back of the sofa and whispered to  
   
  Harry “ Do to me what you would do to a  
   
  girl 
   ”.  
   
   
  “ WHAT THE HELL 
   !!!!!” 
   
   
  At that split instant Harry’s adrenaline went to full  
   
  blast! He leaped from the sofa, unable to see, and ran  
   
  blindly towards the trickle of moonlight which he  
   
  remembered had a broken out window pane. When he got close  
   
  to the pane he dove through it like a stuntman from a movie  
   
  scene. Landing onto the white chalky rubble Harry felt his  
   
  skin scrape across its sharp edges but didn’t stop to take  
   
  inventory. He arose from the rubble scared and confused but  
   
  knew he had to keep running. He ran all the way back to the  
   
  apartment, past all family, past all the friends and into  
   
  the room. He was rapidly trying to process what just  
   
  occurred. Out of breath from the long sprint for life,  
   
  frightened for the retaliation he would receive from anyone  
   
  who found out, angry (at himself for not recognizing the  
   
  red flags and for Jay trying to “play” him and the job not  
   
  being real), Harry decided to keep it to himself. 
   
   
  UNTIL NOW! 
   
   
  There have been countless others who have come forth to  
   
  share their horrific experiences and who have experienced  
   
  far worse than Harry. I salute your bravery to stand and  
   
  release that which has imprisoned your souls and inevitably  
   
  affected your lives. Who knows if Jay’s intention included  
   
  the murder of Harry’s life? He was extremely lucky to have  
   
  survived what could have been a more horrific outcome but  
   
  his last bit of innocence was euthanized forever… 
   
   involuntarily 
   !  
   
   
   Publication Date: August 30th 2011 https://www.bookrix.com/-lamarworld