text: Rassberrykisses Xander's Ending English This is a dedication to Derek. May your help inspire the world 
   
   
     
       No matter how much she complained, Buffy had come to have expectations about her sacred duty, and when she found herself in the middle of a slow night she could barely stand it. Somewhere along the line, slaying had become a two vamp a night habit. The rush of adrenaline as the battle started, the fire in the fight, the thrill of battle, and then there was the way they poofed and turned into a cloud of dust, well that was just neat. 
      Buffy looked around and sighed *Nope, not a bloodsucker in sight.* 
  "I wonder if they make a patch for this?" Buffy said aloud then chuckled to herself. 
      Buffy continued down the familiar path in the graveyard. She never thought that she would find this place comforting, but patrolling the campus still felt strange, and these weekend visits home let her unwind a little. 
      Up ahead around a bend in the path, was a little bench that faced east over the graveyard, and with dawn only an hour or so away, the slayer was considering taking in a nice sunrise. Buffy was a little disappointed to find the bench occupied when it came into view but suddenly brightened. *Maybe it's a mean nasty vampire,.,., cool.* 
  The slayer thought for a moment and decided she needed practice sneaking, the art of the sneak, to sneak and then to slay. *And Giles says I never plan.* 
     With her plan firmly in place Buffy began to sneak up on the suspected vamp, but when she got within fifteen feet, it spoke. 
  "Hey Buff." 
  *Apparently my sneaking needs more work than I thought.* 
  "Xander? Is that you?" 
  The figure in front of her made no move to turn, "Yeah, the Xand-man, guilty as charged." 
  Buffy sighed, no slaying but now she at least had someone to talk to. She went over and sat on the bench next to Xander. 
  "So what are you doing out here? You know it's not safe." 
  "That's the rumor, I just came to watch the sunrise." Xander said shortly. 
  Buffy looked at her friend expecting him to ramble on, and when he didn't she began to feel a little awkward. 
  "Oh,.,.,., So, where have you been, I haven't seen you in a couple of days?" 
  "Actually Buff, it's been ten." 
  "What?" 
  "Ten days, you haven't seen me in ten days." 
  "Really?" 
  Xander nodded, but said nothing more. 
      Ten days? It couldn't be ten days. One of her best friends, and his name hadn't even crossed her mind. Suddenly she was wishing for the boredom she had felt moments ago, now there was nothing but guilt. She looked again at Xander, and realized he had yet to turn in her direction. 
  "I'm sorry Xander, I've been so busy with school and slayage, I just didn't think,.,.," 
      Xander quickly turned and looked at her for the first time that night, and she was struck by how tired he looked. 
  "Don't Buffy, you don't need to be sorry, don't apologize for having a life. I'm actually happy that your so busy with school and all that other stuff, for the longest time I was afraid you'd never get there." 
     Buffy slugged him on the arm playfully, "Hey buddy my grades may have not been the best, but they wouldn't keep me out of college." She said, chuckling once again, but Xander didn't join her. 
  "That is not what I meant Buffy, and you know it. And for the record, you may not see it but I do, you are one smart cookie." 
     Xander turned to resume his previous vigil over the graveyard, as Buffy stared at him thoroughly confused. 
     "Uh,.,., thanks. So what have you been up to the last ten days? Tell me of the adventures of the mysterious Mr. X." 
     "Well, for the last six I've been reading, researching actually." 
  Buffy was suddenly on her feet. "Is there something Giles hasn't told me about?" 
  Xander reached out and took Buffy's hand and sat her back on the bench. 
     "No, there were just some questions I needed answered, vampire questions, Angel got me thinking over the whole soul issue, so I decided that research boy needed to ride again." 
     Buffy didn't know what to make of this turn in Xander's attitude, but she decided to go along with it. "Did you find anything out." 
  "Actually I did, I had to go outside of the accepted Watcher materials." 
  "Are you going to keep me in suspense?" 
  "I got to thinking about the fact that Angel could remember every thing his demon did, it bugged me, but I didn't dwell on it, recently though it started to bug me again. Did you know some believe that the soul doesn't leave the body when the vampire takes over." 
     Buffy was beginning to get angry, "Are you saying that Angel was pulling some scam? How could you think that?" 
     Xander sighed heavily and turned once again to his friend. "No, I'm not. What my research showed was that when the person becomes the vampire there is a struggle for dominance between the demon and the soul. Some souls are stronger than others and some demons are stronger than others. But no matter which ends up in control, the other is there for the ride, it's a constant fight, why do you think so many vampires kill the ones they are closest to when they first turn. The soul is already confused, and weak from the death of the body, add the sudden horror of witnessing the death of the ones they loved the most, and it makes for an easy victory for the demon. For as long as the vampire exists there is a war for control, the demon gets it's real jollies from torturing the soul trapped with it, as much as from the kill and the blood." 
     Xander looked away from the pained expression on the slayers face and back to the east before he continued. 
    "There are some vamps where the demon has complete control, like Angel was, then there are ones that the soul has more control over, Spike and Drusilla would probably fall into this category." 
    Noting the confusion on Buffy's face, Xander explained, "Some souls are monsters to begin with, Spike, then there is Drusilla, I think her soul was broken before Angel turned her and the demon can't quite figure our how to reach her." 
    "But no matter who is in control, the demon or the soul, the other one always has influence, trying to gain control, I think that would explain why some vampires seem to get staked so easy, the soul trying to find a way out. And lets say the soul is in charge, the demons always there waiting for the opportunity to take over, which is what happened with Angel. The curse didn't give him his soul back, it just put it in charge. I think that the gypsies would agree with what I'm saying, they probably hold the soul somewhat responsible for not being able to fight the demon better. I mean gypsies aren't monsters, why would they curse the soul of someone they didn't think had anything to do with what happened to the girl, and make them live through what Angel had to go through. The constant fear that the demon would take control and hurt the ones you love." 
  "You have been busy, did you run this by Giles?" 
  In his best British accent Xander said. "Unsubstantiated theories, though I can not discount them outright, I see no evidence to alter my current beliefs." 
  Buffy had to laugh at that. "And what do you think?" 
  "I have reasons to believe I am right." Xander said solemnly. 
  "C'mon Xander cheer up, what do you say you and I each go home take a nap and then meet up later to just do some quality slacking? Sound like a plan." 
  Xander looked at her for a moment before replying. "Sounds like a good plan Buff." 
  "So come on, lets motor." 
  "You go ahead, I'm gonna wait for the sunrise, It's really nice from this view." 
  "Are you sure?" 
  "Positive." 
  "All right, I'll see you around noon, just come over to my moms." 
  Buffy turned and started down the path, and she had almost gone out of sight of her friend when she heard him call her name. 
  "BUFFY!" 
  She turned back to see Xander smiling at her for the first time that night, and felt better just looking at that lopsided grin. "What Xander." 
  He seemed to think over something for a minute before he yelled out "You're the best." And gave her two thumbs up. 
  Buffy found herself laughing again, "You are getting stranger and stranger, I'll see you later Xander." 
  "Goodbye Buffy." Xander said simply then turned his head once again. 
     Buffy started down the path and thought over the strange conversation she had just had with Xander. Sometimes she just couldn't figure him out. She was worried about him though, he had looked so tired, and when he had grabbed her hand he was cold and clammy, * I hope he's not getting sick. He was so pale and,.,.,. * 
  "OH NO!" 
    Buffy turned and started to run back to where she had left her friend as the first rays of the sun broke over the horizon, panic rising in her with every step. And as she came into view of the bench, her world seemed to come to a sudden stop. Her friend was no where in sight, only a slightly scorched park bench and some ashes dancing in the breeze. 
    She took her previous place on the bench and looked out at the rising sun as unchecked tears rolled down her cheeks. 
  "You know Xander, you were wrong,.,., you are the best." 
   
   
  End. 
   
   
   Text: I do not own anything from "Buffy the vampire" Series. All rights reserved. Publication Date: March 4th 2011 https://www.bookrix.com/-rassberrykisses1