text: shanta  bernard The Truth Hurts  
   
   
   *the breaking point*  CHANEL 
   While I sit here and think of all the bullshit that I've been threw with this man, He cheated mentally abused me maybe physically but not that  much and I stood by his side 100% ride or die and he is having a baby with someone else after he KNOWS that I cant have any kids. I dont know how to feel about the situation I am numb as I look at the clothes I burned in the front yard......But you know what, I am better than that this I need to let him go 6 years of drama and its time for me to do me let loose imma hit my girls up and go out for some drinks before I do something that I would regret in the long run. As I sat here on the phone with keesha explaining once again how he fucked me over and why I can't forgive him like I said fifty million time before to her, and also forgave him. She has been my friend since 8th grade I'm 38 now so she know all the details and the tribulations that we've been threw...Kees girl he did it again this time i am threw girl you know  that chick that live on the eastside we saw him with a couple of months ago that he said that was his 'HOMEGIRL" from school why she pregnant....."OMG" keesha said,  he crossed the line this time I understand that sometimes you think you should stick in there with him and lord knows chanel you've been there I have been that shoulder you cried on and he have the nerve to get the chick pregnant THIS NEEDS TO STOP imma need you to let his ass go. Than its his falut why you can't conceive if he wouldn't pushed you down the stairs a couple of years ago than you could of had a baby already.  Keesha started to cry.... I watch him destroy your life chanel and never said anything your too beautiful inside and out for him to be doing you like this Chanel. Keesha I know... when I said im done im done for real this time it is time for me to move on you know how many niggas holla  at me that have money cars which life is not about all of that but he dont have half of that. While I'm talking to keesha my heart just hurts its pounding im getting all kinds of flash backs, Keesha seriously I dont even wanna discuss it anymore i just wanna go to the mall shop for something to wear so we can go out tonite girl out with the old in with the new. 
   
   
   
   The Past 
   2 Years Ago  Where are you going, why everytime your friends calll you your up and running like you dont live with me and you dont have a relationship you was just out there five damn mintues ago when am I going to be able to spend some time with you. Glen I cannot be in this relationship with you and we dont spend no time together you run the streets all god damn day when I come home from work your not here I call you nonstop and you dont answer see you the next GOD DAMMIT AFTERNOON saying "you was chilling with your friends  last night got to drunk and past out" like I never heard that before. I am tired you think I'm fucking playing you can go, we've been together for four years already and it has been rocky you can get out I take care of my bills on my own i dont need you here..... Bitch shut the fuck up first off I dont be running the fucking streets I be taking care of business trying to hustle and keep money in both of our pockets you think I like you working and taking care of the bills by yahself when I had a job and cant get back on my feet... NO thats why if I can get any kind of money I'm on it 24 hrs a day before I met you I was a hustler and working I changed I calmed down for a minute but guess what I need to make money. I see you everyday sometimes a nigga nuts need to breathe you never give me no space chanel everytime we talk you either talking about some shit that I did to you in the past or what the fuck I'm  doing to you now(GLEN GO INTO HER FACE) but the funny shit is u never speak about what you did to me like I forgot... bitch if you don't like it leave me the fuck alone when I leave and dont come back dont fucking call me looking for me. Than you are  annoying all you do is complain and than wanna know why I dont wanna spend no time with yah nagging ass....(CHANEL)you just gonna walk out on me like that huh like I dont mean nothing to you, (GLEN)yes I am I have shit to do like I said you popping all that shit like you so better than me HUH WELL YOU NOT you fucked up worst than I did and you will never leave me thats why you been here all this time while I fucked you over and you never left cause you know nobody want you so sit yah ass down and chill out while I go out and take care of this business oh and give me the keys yo yah car ..... and so i did and I watched him walk out of the house I cried all night and like usual he didnt come home damn..... 
     
     
                                                GLEN 
     
   Whats good yea I'm outside come on. As he sits in the front of this yellow house a dark skinned woman thick in the waist with her pink skirt on and white halter top holding her fendi back her long jet black hair pulled back in a ponytail as she walk down he's looking at her like damn. She gets in the car, what the hell took you so long I called you over an hour ago and you now just coming glen looks at her. Tiffany you know I just can't come and hop to when you want you know I'm with Chanel that shit be a fight and a half to get out the damn house. You call me all day everyday for dumb shit you wanna go out to the store, or to eat to chill like I still gotta woman at home even tho she not my wife I've been with for six years and I still gotta answer for this shit. Do I look like I care about yah girl at home I told you I like attention when we first met if you wasnt with giving me that attention than you can keep it moving I'm way to fly and have too many niggas that wanna get with this so if you cant get on the back of that bus than leave it alone. I am not holding no gun to yah head telling you we need to be together or feel like imma kill myself if you leave me(smurking) that's what chanel is for.. the drama I dont do...... I cause it and keep it moving so we going out or not cause?  If not I'm dressed I can find someone else that wants to go out that is not complaining about there bitch at home. As I sat there jaw dropped wanting to slap the shit out of this bitch but I cant she too damn fine and that pussy be wet like a motherfucka when I'm tearing that shit down everyday. Ma let me explain something to you first off dont fucking talk to me like that and yes we going out an yea you did let me know that you needed attention but damn not this much you better be glad you fine with some good ass pussy cause if not girl I would of went off on yah ass like 15 minutes ago. 
    Where you wanna go anywhere pick a place we can chill all night. Baby I wanna go to the bar on Cladon ST get me some wings and some drinks dance a lil bite with my daddy than come home and take care of that ass as she took her clean manicured nails and ran it from my ear lobe to the back of my neck sent chills down my spine. Aight ma we can do that. As we drove down Main st I had to stop and get me some dutches from the store so can i smoke me something before i get to the bar cause there's nothing like some drunk and high sex its not gonna take this bitch too many drinks before she fucked up so let me get myself prepared. Babe imma bout to run in this store real quick before we get there you want something from the store, yea imma go and get me something to snack on real fast didnt eat anything today and need to fill my stomach before i start to drink. So we gets out the car and my man chad n them on the strip getting that bread i slapped them up copped me another ounce of that loud while shorty was in the store im just asking my boys hows shit going in the hood. When she got out the store we went straight to the bar ready to turn up..... while were in there she dancing to lady saw "got yah man" she on her third drink i realize shorty dont got on no panties in the middle of the bars floor whinning singing the song ass just moving like some jello in a cup i wanna eat... damn as I am looking at her my dick is hard as i mothafucka i go walk up to her in the back and grab her small ass waist and put my dick print in the middle of her ass daddy ready to go we in the moddle of the floor just dancing and some bullshit just blew my high. This chick name keesha comes up to me "my girls bestfriend" all up in my shit like who is that where is chanel she asked me i told that bitch to mind her damn business, its all good glen cause imma tell chanel all thats going on. Tiffany ass turns around and tells her dont worry boo im just borrowing him she ll get him back after he eats my pussy tonight as soon i turn around keesha slaps the shit out of her and tiffany goes flying to the floor as soon as she goes running to jump on tiifany the bouncer is carrying her ass up outta here man i dont know what to do, imma have to go home and hear this shit from chanel  keesha gonna fuck everything up for me but right now i cant think about that i need to figure how tiffany gonna let me slide my dick in the wet pussy tonite before i go home and have to deal with before i go home and deal with this shit imma have to hear....sheesh 
   
   
   
   the mistake ***GLEN*** 
   Ok I may sound messed up to yall yeah I do chanel messed up I think about all the wrong doing I have done to her but she have done something to me that I just could not let go. Better yet it wasnt like I couldnt let it go I could't forget and yeah she said it was a mistake and yea I told her that we was good but at the end of the day see what yall female dont get is a woman reguardless if she is ugly or not she don't need to work hard for a nigga she can look like SHIT its gonna be some nigga out there that is going to wife her up tear that shit down all day. 
   Now with a man we gotta work...lie to these bitches make them seem as if they the number one and only in your heart if not you not getting nothing so Chanel when we first met I had to work hard as a bitch for her and she made me wait months for some pussy. Man she was bad I remember when I first saw her I worked at international bank on Main ST and she came in with her stone washed jeans on with her fly ass mui mui shoes on in red and black and her red and black prada bag and her red valentino shirt with red lip stick to match her hair blown down and yes it was real. When I mean I remember this day I remembered this day to the T when I saw her she was like looking at an angel the fell from the sky...she was thick in all the right places she was 34,24,38 man I never seen nothing like this chick she didnt have on no makeup at all. She was beauitful inside and out just lip stick to make them full lips shine.so she comes up to me and wants to take money out of her account I'm just stunned when she talks she is humble not rachet like them bitches im used to. we exhchanged numbers for the next couple of weeks all we did was talk on the phone all day and night when she wasnt at work. 
    We learned so much about each other i found out that she was a lawyer and worked at one of the most top law firms for the city and she does not go out like tha,t she has no kids, shes been single for five years since her last man left her all she worried about was working an trying to own her own law firm one day she did it so much that she secluded herself from going out enjoying herself and the finding love. When i found all this out about her i was kiind of ashamed being that i was a NIGGA that lived in the hood worked at a bank so i can put the money away i was getting in the streets, that was my cover up it was a good job but it was nothing like the money i was getting from hustling i didnt know how to break my life down to this woman whether if she was going to accept me for me or if she was going to just throw me back where she found me at. I decided to take it slow learn more about her before i could bring the real me into this relationship. 
   The first date we go out to one of the famous restarants there is you know a nigga trying show you not the only one with money. I take her to chops lobster bar being earlier in the week while we was talking that she said she loves seafood we order and get drinks and talked about the past and the future what we like about each other. She tells me the horrible growing up she had without her mom and her dad was a hustler from the same hood i get money in. How he loved her so much she lived so i 'LAVISH' life when she was younger he gave her anything and everything that she ever wanted until that day came he was taken from her.  He was killed in the street shot in the head, when you getting it hard out here envy is going to be on everyones mind and you can get laid out and thats what happened. When they finally caught the dude that killed her dad he wasnt served with anytime cause he claimed it was a self defense plus he had so much stuff on people in the hood that they cut the nigga a deal. From that day on she knew she couldnt let stuff like this happen to our black community it dont matter if he was the biggest drug dealer in the world she felt like no one has the right to take someone life thats up to the system to decide. while she was speaking to me i knew she was the one that i wanted to share the rest of my life with. Yeah she was sexy as hell and yes i wanted to tear her down but it wasnt about the sex at this time it was about me learning her in the inside. 
   While im getting to know her we chilling almost everyday we have off but when we finally made love it was like heaven her ass was round perfect u sweeze it it was like pillow in her hand her pussy was so when and smelled like flowers as i licked her clit from top to ass back i lover evey moment of it her titties was so round and perfect they was like a 36 c cup and she rode me all night and it was like some white people shit i seen on tv how she moaned and the first time i made love to a bitch. For months eveything with chanel was going well i eventaully told her about my life and how i was a drug dealer and she respected it she just stayed a distance from my part of town cause of her reputation i had the best of both worlds i have my classy lady that was down and loved me more than life itself cause i was all she had and she was all i had. I eventaully let her meet my sister and my mom they fell in love with her instantly and i was in love. One year past i stopped going out hustling had my man rob hold down the fort cut him a percentage and just worked at the bank full time now we moved in together and i was ready to buy her that perfect ring that she had showed me in the store. Yea it was 15k but you know what nothing was too expensive for chanel money didnt buy this relationship cause she had her own and i save so that i had my own also so we didnt have any issue on that side. 
   For days chanel was working late for about a month she was working on this big "CASE" a woman was killed by the poilce by accident when they was trying to catch a man  running when he was on the corner selling drugs. They was chasing him and simone the woman that was killed was in her early twenties and just had a baby and brought her first house with her newlywed husband she was coming out of the grocery store and she sees this young man running right past her. He throws something on the floor and the cop shoots thinking he is pulling out a gun instead of him hitting the man the young woman got shot in the chest and dies 3 days later. So chanel have been working with her husband to try to get justice for his wife. Day and Days she is in the office til 3 am some days than some days i dont even see her ass at all, only she comes and changes and go back to work me being who i am and knowing that we had the best relationship i didnt think nothing of it until the trial was over but she is still missing for some reason our relationship was on the fence she were arguing non stop she doesnt communicate with me anymore i feel like she sheltered me out of her life and im sitting here thinking what the hell did i do to her. I loved her more than life itself and i was confused i stopped a lot of my shit and made too many sacrafices for this chick. 
   So i decided that i wanted to take her back to the place that we first fell in love at. while were sitting there it was quiet dead slience most weirdest feeling that i felt with her. I felt like i was sitting with a stranger. While she was eating her food im asking her how her day is going and she is giving me short answer no type of conversation where sipping our wine she is looking at the time like she has somewhere to be. See i am a very observant man and this shit is not right but you know what whatever it is will come to light either way. I sitting here asking her whats going on why have she been acting distance from me so we can just get straight to the point. But as usual bitches be lying nothing wrong im good just a lil tired thats all with this fake ass smile on her face. As im looking at her facial expression i already knew she was lyin. So i went off why the fuck is you lying for bitch for the five months you been acting wild stupid crazy and while im going off it hurts me cause i never seen myself acting this way towards her she was my heart. But i had to unless she wouldnt of never said anything to me. Her jaws dropped she never expected for me to go off and i kept on going. Letting her know how i have been watching her ass go in and out of the house hardly come in dont say nothing working late all fucking night and than she just broke out in tears and told me everything and my heart fell to the floor i sound like a bitch for saying this but yes she fucked me all up. 
   But yea she been fuckling with this nigga for almost 3 months just chilling . After all that we've been threw and having such a good time all she can do is look me in my face and cry saying she so sorry she didn't mean for this to happen i just looked at her with hate this was the most hate that i felt in a long time for a bitch.I took that ring i purchased from the store and fucking threw it at her and told her thanks very much for fucking my life up not for just you but for every bitch that comes in my life in the future, it dont matter if i treat you like a queen or like shit which i should of but i thought i had something different and you know what i didn't you just another thottie ass bitch that live in the suburbs and drive a fly ass car and got hella dough you not better than no one bitch fuck you suck my dick and never call me again. I took me a while to get over her but like i said i bounced back but was doing me hard fuck bitches was my new model getting paper and pussy was on my mind not falling in love or even coming close to starting a relationship with anyone and i was happy with that and i had the perfect person to thank for that and it was chanel. 
   
   
   
   The Healing 
     CHANEL 
     
   Yea i did it i made a mistake and fucked up bad with glen i didn't mean it. I just happened so fast that i didn't even notice that the relationship would of spiral out of control like it did. First it was a healing for homeboy, one night it he was  grieving and i was his healing i didn't mean for it to be sexual and for us to have this mental connection and i know for a fact that he LOVED his wife i think he was just hurt more than anything and didn't have anyone to turn to. Where i went wrong was i let myself get caught up in something that i cannot get out of. So now Glen is ready to purpose he is such a great man every since i met him i felt like i would never ever love someone as much as i loved him. When i really think about it i never did love someone and even with this crazy mistake no one ever compare to what we had or ever had. So as im sitting at this tabel at dinner i can't even look him in his face because it dawn to me at the last minute that i actually fucked up. Glen did not deserve for me to be with him and he needed to know the truth even though it was a mistake i needed to get it off of my chest it killed me for months to know i was living this double life that i didn't want it just fell into my lap and i couldn't control the urges of making love to jahiem even though the feelings was not like that but the sex itself was incredible dont get me wrong glen is great but the experiences with jahiem and the way his hands and tounge move and place kisses all over my body sometimes i couldn't wait to see him so he can just take tension out of my body. While im sitting here pouring my guts out to glen he does the unexpexted and goes off the charts on me i could't blame him for being mad cause if he would of done it to me i would of felt the same way. As i sit here in shock that he talked to me like that but hardly diappointed at him i just walked out crying my heart out how could destroy someones life the way i just did its not in me usually i need help learning how to love someone cause i was taught everything has to be handed to me. My dad never said no and If he did ill throw attitudes until i got what i wanted and thats how i always worked in relationships and usually im by myself cause i dont know how to compromise with anyone. 
   The only thing i can thank my dad is  teaching me these things cause it caused me to be as successful as i am. I am now working hard to get what i wanted but money dont mean nothing to you when your alone and dont have anyone to share it with. As i go home hours later after i left the bar getting my thought together and drinking everything in the sun my house is clear of all of glen things and reality hits me that it over and no coming back. i sit on the couch see the empty space that once was filled with pictures of all the fun things we did that we always hung up on the wall was not ripped up into pieces on the floor. 
   While im sitting here my phone rings hoping and praying that it was glen that was calling me to understand and forgive me for what i did but it wasnt it was jahiem. so drunk all i wanna do is numb out of this drama maybe getting laid will help me with that as i answered the phone this deep sexual voice is asking me how im  doing. I couldn't help but to start to cry and let him know that i told glen everything how its been eating me up for months for me to tell him what was going on. While im explaining the situation to this man i hear silence i already know when you hear silience why your talking about something so serious thats not a good thing. I asked him say something i hate speaking to someone and i feel like im speaking to a wall. jahiem comes back and say chanel i think you are a great beutiful kind hearted woman and i thank you so much for being there threw the pain that i've been threw knowing that i lost my wife and have a son at home that i need to care of and make a strong man on my own he has no mom. You was always there to comfort me reguardless if it was physically or sexually you was there but I was wrong my wife haven't been dead for almost a year and im out sleeping with other woman thinking that is going to heal what i was going threw cause when your not here i need to deal with it on my own I need to learn and get over this hurt on my own I need to be there for my son i think we rushed things way to fast. I didn't mean for this to happen and for this to destroy that beautiful relationship that you had with homeboy cause i feel like it shouldn't even went that far. I hope that we can be friends you know cause your a great person at heart but this gotta stop i got mad love for you but what i want you to do is go an try to make this shit up with yah man. DAMIT....DAMIT can this night get any worst i confess on some shit i knew i was taking advantage of and now he snapped his ass back into reality. All i could do is hang up no response to what he said and he knew that because he nevered called me back. I just laid on the couch and curled into a big ball wishing my dad was here to comfort me and guide me the right way 
   I woke up the next day with the crazy hangover mouth very dry and wishing what had happened yesterday was just a dream. But when i looked around and seen the missing stuff i knew i wasn't dreaming in wish i could turn back the hands of time and try to change how this shit played out. Waking up late had court this morning hurried up called the office so one of my co workers can take my place or push the date back for me so i can get myself together and of course my good friend jake was more than happy to assist me with my cases today. I laid around all day didn't have anyone to talk to i was ashamed of myself my deepest dearest friend i couldn't even called i sat here had to call glen about 100 times in 4 hours and no answer. I ordered chinses food and stayed home and watch these emtional ass chick flicks on lifetime all day trying to figure out how am i going to fix this problem. One more last call i didnt text him didn't leave one message cause i needed to hear his voice to see if he could understand and wanna discuss thing with me over some drinks or something and that last call i made for the night it says his phone was disconnected. I cried i though i had everything in my life balanced but i didnt i just laid on the couch and past out. 
   I cant focused sitting in this office trying to get myself together for court. I pulled myself out of work for a couple of weeks gave all my cases to jake so he can take care of them for me i needed some peace in my life and didnt have not once ounce of it in me right now. Got to my car and drove and drove and dorve all around until i looked i was sitting in the parking lot of the bank that glen worked at. I didn't even know what to do should i go in or just drive away he probably is going to act a fool in there but he has never did anything like that until the other night. you know what imma take my chances what else can i loose right now i already lost him and im damn near loosing my mind with it. As i wiped my face trying not look like i was crying all day eyes all red and got out of my car. i look around in the bank to see if he was there and he is with another customer didnt realize that i was there or even walked in. as i stood online waiting for the lady to walk off the other teller is asking me if they can assist me and im nodding no thanks. While im standing there waitng im thinking i should just walk out the lady eventually leaves the desk and he sees me i can see the hate he has in his eyes. I go walk over to him and look him in his face and say hello sir may i ask what your name is you look like you a sweet kind hearted loving man that was hurt by someone that made a huge mistake and need someone to take the hurt off of you and love you the same am i correct?. He looks at me and say you think your just going to walk in here and make it seem like nothing happened the other day and i supposed to be ok with it. If you really wanted to know how i felt you should of came by my house cause i cant even go into details of how i feel at this point of time with you and that serious this is my job and you know i have nothing to support myself with cause remember i gave up a lot for your ass. So what i need you to do is walk right out of the same damn door you came in and please dont come back to discuss anything with me unless your taking money out of your bank account or depositing money into the account and im dead fucking serious with you. I was shocked i looked at him tears started to build up my heart is feeling heavy. Glen you dont understand im sooo sorry even if your not with me at least can we get past threw this i made a huge mistake all i want us to do is be friends can we a least be that?. I am not sure yet imma let you know and if i want us to be friends i know where you live you forgot that we just currently lived together.....i know your number you dont need to come threw my job to make a scene. I just looked at him i am not going to sit here and beg you know what kills me is that a man can make mistakes and fuck up and just apologize and there is woman out there that would just forgive them for whateva they do but im not going to beg i know i messed up but i need to deal with it and if he come around than fine if not this is going to be ONE thing im going to live with and regret all my life. I walked out of that bank with my head up high and just kept it moving. 
   2 months later as i getting up with my homeboy to get drinks after work im enjoying myself were just discussing life talking about the big case he won today how proud he was and i was also he worked on this case for months even when i was down n out after the breakup with me and glen and he handled my load for like a week until i was able to get myself together and come to my damn senses. I am not going to front about it i miss him so much but im kinda mad at myself that i broke down like that but love make do some crazy shit but i've been good getting my work done more focused thinking about moving cause this house have way too many memories for me and i dont wanna deal with anymore. I put so much stuff out of the house that made me depressed i let alot go but I've been meeting up with a realtor so i can see if i can find a condo to my liking. As i sit at this bar listening to this music sound good jake asks if i wanna dance see i dont really know if he like me i hope not cause i look at him like a good friend nothing more nothing less but lately after he knew about the break up with glen we've been hanging homies chilling at the movies eating dinner just hanging out and i thank him for it cause without his company i probably wouldnt have made it. So we get to the dance floor listening to this music coming out the speaker maxwell woman worth me and jake was dancing and just talking. I am really enjoying myself which i havent really done in a while we dance nice and slow threw the whole song that is one of my favorite song and jake looks at me and tells me i dont know my worth..... Now im confused he is like your such a good woman and beauitful you make mistakes which everyone does chanel but you gotta learn from them your too smart for you settling for anything and just doing whateva come to your head see i never wanted to say anything to you about what's going on with you cause your grown. But i love you like a sister and i want you to do better you deserve it to the fullest your a successful black woman that made it out and have a great head on her shoulders i wish the best for you baby girl and i mean that from the bottom of my heart. When he said that my heart fell to the floor and everything just rushed to me how things in my life love wise was just not there and i realized that i havent even try pick myself up and move on after what happen to glen i just looked and started to cry at jake. You know sometimes you make mistakes and try to learn form them when your put back in this situation that your were in before or a new one that you still should know right from wrong and youlll still doing the wrong thing. I know GOD has my back cause i make my mistakes but if it is the person i supposed to be with then we will rise up out of that mistake and move on and put it past us. Now thats what i call love not saying what i do is excusable but i need someone there so when i do make that mistake we can work threw it together....tell how to be a better woman for them and myself not saying that i have issues with myself but im not perfect no one is but if i keep on getting someone that is ready to run out on me instead of TRYING dammit that all i ask for to TRY casue if a man would do somethig that would hurt me and you know from mike that i would stay there and try my best to work thing out until there is no more trying left. I need a back bone i think god didnt send me that back bone yet and im going to wait and keep making my mistakes and hopefully learn from them so i can be strong for my husband when he comes my way. Some mistake i wish i could take back like glen but you know what if i cant have him i will always wish him the best. I'm happy that your in my life jake cause you've been my supports for as long as i needed you i look  at you and your wife and get jealous at time not because your a great man because you guys been through so much and keep that strong bond that i wish i had jake you've been such a great friend to me and i cant ask for anything else from you. Jake gives me a kiss on my forhead and let me know that any time i need him he is there. As we danced and enjoyes ourselves time was going by so fast. 
   As i look up i see Glen coming threw the door with one his closest friends...My heart dropped feel like i just gain 100 pounds extra i cant believe this is happening. were sitting so close to the door i knew he was going to see us sitting there i told myself even if he sees you dont get emotional chanel its been a while your fine.as he walk to the bar right by me and jake we meet eyes. I turned around so quick and looked down jake was confused. Chane whats wrong with you you look like you seen a ghost. i gave him a fake smile you see that man right there thats glen....i havent seen him since the incident that happened in the bank and he seen me sitting here we locked eyes. jake looks at me if you feel that you wanna speak to him than go over there. But i couldn't do it i looked at jake and let him know if it was met to be that faith would bring us together like i said lets just act like i didnt see him come and and thats exaxtky what i did me and jake still enjoyed our night until his wife came to get him because he was way too drunk to drive and all that time i can see glen just eyeing me but what is a girl to do when i tired months ago and you didnt want to talk. 
   
   
   
   The Forgiveness 
   Glen 
     
   So me and my mans thought to go out to a bar and just chill for a minute. No females no hustling just us being niggas at the end of the day sometime i need a peace of mind of my own even though me and chanel haven't been speaking for a few months i still was thinking about her everyday sometimes i could be good and sometimes i thought of all the hate that i had for the woman. I wish that the whole situation would of played out better than what it did but you know what you can think and hope for the best dont mean its going to happen. So me and dave is at the door and i peep chanel sitting there giggling and chatting shit up with some clown ass looking nigga. Iam not gonna lie it kinda make me feel some type of way so yea while i walked by i made sure we met eyes so she knew i see her. She aready found another nigga she probably already had him before we even started knowing each other. I try not to even look her way even though she looked beauitful as usual i wonder if she even seen me come in cause she acted like she didnt. For some reason as im sitting here all the feeling came rushing to me like they was new even though i know she messed up when i look at it it was more good that happened that i didnt even stop to think about before i deciding to make the decision to leave her alone. I didnt want her to know i was looking at her cause she was sitting chilling with the next nigga but i know she still got that same number and hopefully stay that the same crib i decided to make it my business to go and see her tomorrow just to check and see if she is good or not. I am not sure if it going to open a new door but i do know i wanna check on her to see where her mind is at. 
   The next day 
   I woke up with so much on my mind just think about chanel and how i saw her that brought back so much memories for me. As im sitting her thinking my phone been ringing off the hook since last night cause i did a MIA on people. I'm looking at my phone like damn how many time this bitch gonna call me she been calling me since last night non stop i had to have 50 missed call from this chick i answer the phone sounding groggy like i just woke up hello, why haven't you been answering yah fucking phone for i been calling you since last night you was supposed to come over and you never answered. I thought something was wrong its not like you to be missing for a whole night glen where the fuck was you at fucking some other bitch huh.... I stopped katrina dead in her tracks first off were not together i dont know how many times i can say that to you you not my bitch were just fucking buddies i told you that before we started you act like you understood what i said now all of a sudden you catching feeling calling me non stop like im your nigga that you keeping tabs on. really nigga thats how you feel for a month we been dealing with each other and you still wanna call me your fucking buddy really thats all you see in me, Bitch it has nothing to do with what i see in you it is what it is so if im fucking the next bitch its not your business cause were not on it like that, dont get me wrong i like you you cool to chill with i like fucking but were not together and serious im tired of explaining that to you. If i wanted a girlfriend i would have one but i dont so you either get it or you can keep it moving and loose my number no love lost seriously. Fuck you glen you not even that fly for me to keep fucking with you everytime we chill getting high and drinking you always talking about yah shady ass ex girlfriend anyways than act like you dont know your doing it i can get dick from any nigga i want i dont needs yours fuck outta her matter of fact you loose my number CLICK. Did this bitch just bang it on me.....oh well i got other shit to deal with anyways my connect acting up on the reup... My job cut my hours back and right now im missing the shit out of chanel. 
   When i finally get myself together i remember today is wednesdays chanel always worked half of days after her meeting in the office i decided to drop by to check on her and make sure she was good after i seen her yesterday. So i go to the store grab some lunch from the chinese spot that she likes and get a botlle of wine so we can discuss as adults and hash everything out at least we can remain freinds cause right now i dont wanna build no kind of relationship because i cant trust her and im not going to throw myself at her so she can fuck me all over again. its was about 5 pm i pulled up in front of the apartment building that we one shared together and i sat there hoping that her car was going to be in the parking lot i spotted it and got out. I didnt know what to expect when i got out the car if she was gonna be with ole boy or not. So i knocked on the door i hear her soft voice just a minute i can hear her shuffling in the house and im smirking cause i know she only wears panties and a shirt and she scrambling to find some pants she did it all the time. Than she opens the door and i just look at her in the back of my mind im thinking damn she look good as hell 
     
   Chanel 
   So im now just getting off of work and someone is at my door. I am tryinh to find something to throw on cause really no one comes over and the people that i know knows that im moving. As i open the door my heart dropped once again it glen standing at the door i just looked at him he asks me may i come in of course i open the door for him to come in he has been on my mind since i saw him last night seem like faith is finally working with me or great minds just think alike. he came me told me he grab some food and wine when i saw him open up the chinese food i saw him get what i loved to eat the chicken and brocoili. I asked him so i see you remembered he looks at me and say how would i forget its only been a couple of months. Before i even grab something for us to eat in because most of the things in the kitchen was boxed up because no one be here and i always eat out i stopped cooking didnt feel the need to cook since i was the only one. Thank god i had some spare plates from a gathering we had when we lived together. I had to come to reality and see before we gotten any closer glen what is trhe reason for this visit i saw you last night and you didnt feel the need to speak to me so what changed your mind as i stand there with my hand on my hips looking at him confused. Glen said I am not gonna lie to you when i saw you last night a lot of shit came rushing to me chanel.....i wanted to come over and check on you to see how you was doing...maybe we can hash things out cause we did leave things on a bad note. I just looked at him im shocked that he is even standing here and trying to speak to me. ok i feel you so i opened the wine and make me a plate of food and sit on the couch. He is looking around so you moving? yea i am i told him there is way too many memories i wanted to kind of start over you know turn a new leaf you know. He looked at me confused but what the hell did he expect like we share this place together were not together so i need to move on with myself. 
     
   Glen 
    So she is telling me how she is moving and the reasons i thought damn i wonder if she was thinking about me  these months like i've been thinking of her. So how have you been doing ? I've been fine I won most of cases at work and i lost two of them but its ok sometimes you loose some you know.  so as were sitting there talking just laughing talking about the past and whats going on in our lives now. I didnt realize how much i enjoyed talking to her and how she can relate to what im saying even though she wasnt about that kind of life. So lets get to the bottom of the case at hand that had us depart. Now i know that you made a mistake and no i don't want to argue with you about it what was done was done i just wanna ask was it worth it for you and why?. She looked at me with tears in her eyes just explaining how things happened and how she never met for it to go down like that. She is explaining to me how everyone make mistakes i asked god to forgive me for the things i did and ask him to guide me the right way....All i can do is ask for you to forgive me for the things i've done to you i truly didnt mean any of it. I looked at her i could respect it. But was I ready to forgive her like she wanted to me to no I was not. I let her know chanel I still have strong feeling for you and I will always have a place in my heart while I sat here and talked to you for these couple of hours I realized on how much we connected and I kind of missed those days. You fucked up for what you've done to me yes you was especially after I changed myself and gave you all of me. I would rather be cool with you than anything take shit slow cause I don't know where your mind is going and to be quite honest with you I dont trust you like that. You already know how I get down once you fuck me over that first time I would never give you the chance to fuck me over again. it sounds harsh because I never thought I would be sitting here with you after the incident that happend but I'm a real ass nigga and I am not going to lead you on either. I  understand what you mean and I'm glad that we had this conversation at this time I would like to take things slow as a friend because I want to show you while you was gone I realized what I've lost and it took A lot of me to try to get over you. I know trust is always the hardest thing for someone to gain back with someone that broke it so let me show you that my feelings are real and I would never want to jepordize anything that we have even if its just a friendship that fine with me. 
   
   
   
   The Friendship 
     Chanel 
   Things have been going great with Glen, we talk to each other every other day and hang out every other weekend. Being that were just friends I still can't see myself being with no one else. Even though the time that he is giving me is not enough in my eyes but I cannot complian because were basically starting from the beginning. So tonite were supposed to be going out for drinks. I decided to get my nails, hair and find me a new dress cause I haven't got none in a while and I am ready to get this hot box fill with some good loving. So I go and buy me a marc jacob black dress with my back all the way out to the arch of my back and it has a open spilt in the front that goes to my belly button area, found me some red and black stuart weitzman shoes to go with my dress and a black leather marc jacobs bag. I went to the hair salon and added some length to my hair so it can touch my ass, when i was dressed and ready to go I looked in the mirror and my pussy automatically got wet just looking at how fine i was. Instead of me driving I got a personal driver for the night because i knew I wanted to get drunk and just dance my ass off and I don't wanna put my hopes up and be going home alone like he been doing me for the last few weeks we've been talkiing. So I am prepared, He finally called me and told me to meet him at prohibition which I always wanted to go to. It's like some secret code to get in and its supposed to have some type of old school theme and play some decent music so I was ready to enjoy myself with my "friend" that I wanted to suck the sweetness out of my juice box so bad cause I really needed it. So I get to the front of this Famous phone booth and I am waiting on Glen to get here as I am standing here I see him coming threw the door and stop at the bar tender to ask for two drinks one for me and him. Dammnnn he looking finer than usual now don't get me wrong he alwayed dressed nice. When he worked he had some nice looking suits on and when he hit the streets he was fly as fuck and turned me on with the thug look. But tonite he took it to another level I am looking him up and down cause if anyone knew fashion that would be me and I am checking his wardrobe to see what he has on a Brooks Brothers suit on in black and white with brooks brothers men shoes in black on and a scent that was so sensual that fill the whole room when he came in it . As I'm waiting for him he is just looking at me and smiling and I'm looking at him like he a lolly pop that i wanna take iin my mouth and suck all night.So he approaches me and give me my favorite drink which he still remember from when we first me which is a white russian I could drink that all day and just be good in the morning. He goes into the booth and give them the code and they let us in the bar. Come to find out this bar was more of a smoking cigar bar which I should of known being that he loves to smoke. We found a booth in the corner and just sat there and talked all night. When I turn around I on top of him after 5 driinks down kissing his neck while i have on of hands rubbing his groan area and yess it was rock hard. I was ready to go I wanted to go home and just lay him down and take his whole manhood into my mouth until I felt his juices splashed in the back of my throat. But I know he said he didn't want it like that but how I am set up right now it dont matter I want him in my bed with my legs spread and have my clit throbing like not other and I am demanding to get that I want and I know for a fact that he wants me to. 
   (GLEN) 
   So I meet her at the bar that I wanted to take her to first I just wanted to tease her and show her how much she fucked up so I went out and brought ma a fly ass suit show her a different part of me that she is going to be surprised to see. So I'm going to sit in the car and wait for her to go in first so I can see what she has on cause I know she looking good especially that she been trying to throw hint on me fucking her and I shut her down everytime or left before I gave up . Now she got some good ass pussy don't get me wrong but I wanted to teach her a lesson before I made any kind of moves just because I am from the hood don't mean a nigga gotta act like they from the hood cause I clean up real nice if I want to. So I see a truck pull up and she jump out of it so I automatically knew what her intentions was for tonite and she looking good as fuck maybe ill give her some of daddy dick. I meet her inside and we go downstairs we found a booth and for hours we sat there and talked like we just met each other. I turned around and she is on top of me grinding while I am rubbing the arch of her back. Dman her ass feel so good and I know she don't have on any panties now it got me wondering how that thing feel like being that I haven't even touch that in a minute. So i decided to tease her while she girnding her pussy on my shit I take my finger and slide it under her dress and start to play with her clit. Now she moaning and holding on to me tight while kissing the side of my neck. I stick one of my fingers in her hole and the juices coming out is heavy and warm got me thinking how good that would feel if I had my dick all the way in there. So I whisper in her ear ask her do she wanna go home and she was ready so were staggering to her car and the personal driver pulled up and opened the door for us. We get in and immediately she pulls my dick out and start sucking it. Damn I forgot how good she sucked dick I could't wait to get her upstair in the house and really give it to her. meanwhile in the back of my mind I hoping that I am making the right moves. As soon as we pul up to her house she looks at me we go upstairs she opens the door and turns music on and starts to strip dance for me... while im sitting on the couch looking at her my dick is rock hard she get on her knees and take my whole shit in her mouth i put my head back enjoyig this great head game that i kinda miss. I pull her up carry her to the room and spread her legs out and start to suck all of the nectar out her fruit box it taste so good and she is moaning and i start to stick two fingers in her pussy while i lick her clit which i knew she loved and she started to girate on my fingers all i hear her say is im cummin daddy that shit feel so good her moans is getting louder and i stopped, she looks up at me and ask me why i stop i put my fingers in her mouth so she can taste the juices from her pussy and she suck the shit of of my fingers while moaning i turned her around and sucked my dick in this wet warm pussy and it felt good ad hell she had her hair out i wrapp it aroud my hands and pulled it while i fucked her from the back and she cum over and over again and i enjoyed every moment of it. When we was done she got up its 5am and unwrapped some of her pots that she had packed up and made some of those famous burgers that i loved and homemade fries and we layed there and watched movies until we passed. this is what i didnt want to happen but hey it is what it is. can i say were a couple again i not sure well see  
   
   
   
   The Drama 
    Glen 
     
   So me and chanel is a couple again for a couple of weeks. I didn't move back in with her yet I dont think im ready and for a while when we was not dating i had a side piece that i was messing with called kasey. I was kind of feeling her my feeling for her was nothing compare to what i felt for chanel but she was cool peoples.  Kasey had a great job working in the hospital, she had no kids, she lived not that far from my crib and she just had a good head on her shoulders she kind of reminded me of chanel. Being that me and chanel was on it again i still chilled with her from time to time she will come over and ill give her some dick and we will chill and just talk until i was ready to go to chanels house. Right now chanel didnt know that i was working part time because i didnt get a chance to tell her so these time when i was supposed to be at work i was chilling with her. So one day I woke up and kasey was at my front door. I felt bad cause i knew that she had strong feelings for me and i didnt want to lead her on so I let her in She had brought me breakfast from the store and she came in I didnt even accept it i just asked her to sit down so i can talk to her. I told her chanel and me was back together and i didnt want to lead her on because i knew that she liked me and i didnt want to continue the relationship. It was only right for me as a man to tell her the truth cause shit like this get out of hand and i dont want to do the same shit to chanel that she did to me cause i knew how the shit felt. She just put her head down and said i knew you was back with her because u stopped talking about her with me and u became very distant. But she than surpised me by saying that she didnt care she liked me dicking her down she knew her place and she still wanted to fuck with me. Now me being a ngga if you can yah cake and eat it too with no conflict than why not but instead of me thinking with my head i thought with my dick. So here I am balancinig both of them i kept chanel from by my house i made sure that i was aroud her most of the time when i was ready to go home i chilled with kasey. I was cool I felt like the fucking man cause i had everything in the bag until I slipped up and got caught this one fucking night. 
     
   *CHANEL* 
     
    So me and glen is back on it, things are going pretty well for us he still is kind of distance but I know he still probably feel like he don't trust me but i still can,t blame him because we still fresh on it. He have been coming over here every night and chilling but some nights he will go home saying it closer to his job to communte back and forth so I am not thinking nothing of it. One day he came and surprised me at work and took me out for lunch on his lunch break and I was slammed with a case that I was working on so instead of me just telling him i cannot go i took my folders and while we was on lunch i was looking threw all the evidence that was given to me. We enjoyed lunch glen always knew what made me happy a good conversation with some good food. So while he is driving me back to work I forgot me folder in the back of his car I was trying to call him to bring it back but he was not answering after i just left his ass that annoyed me cause ever since he got back together sometimes he wouldn't answer the phone I'm assuming that he must of had ton of things to do. i just left the folder with him and told myself when i get out tonite ill get the folder from his house grab some seafood and wine and surprise him cause I've have been kind of busy lately and so have he. I stayed at work for a while looked over the rest of the information i had on the case I left about 7:30 pm so i can make sure i made it to the store to pick the things up before they closed. I brought some lobster tails, crab legs some shrimps, and some seafood melody for my famous rice that he loved so much. ran to the liquor store and picked up a red wine for us to drink. when i got to his house i was knocking cause i never asked for any keys i dont even come over here like that because of me trying not to put myself in a bad situation with my job and all. so i go to the door and knock and it takes him a while to come to the door so i call him and he is not answering his phone. I know that he is there because i see his car so i hear him shuffling in the inside of the house he finally came to the door and he is just standing there looking at me. hey babe surprised i with some dinner that i wanted to cook and i have wine for us to drink tonite i tried to call you because i felt my file in your car but you didnt answer the phone so i just came to surprise you plus you've been busy so have i so let just hang out and chill tonite. He is looking at me and says i didnt know you was coming because i would of cleaned up my house is a mess ill throw something on and we can chill at yah house. I was confused as hell because i know i didnt drive over here for nothing so i asked him to let me in ill wait for him to get ready he looks at me and says no im looking fucking confused because i know everytime he comes to my house i let his ass in so now im mad i hear shuffling in the house i pushed him over and bust open the door and a light skin red bone is trying to sneak out the back with her shit.....  
     
        AND THIS IS WHEN THE SHIT STARTED  
   
   
   Publication Date: April 3rd 2016 https://www.bookrix.com/-xsacc037b193e35