text: Amber Edwards Insane A certain girl, she took my hand <3 I'll be gone when the morning comes 
   
   
     
   A Tear stained letter from her 
  Sheets|full|of|regret, 
  Did|you|really|think|she|would|forget? 
  Tears|fall|like|rain,  
  They|glisten|with|pain. 
  She|can't|be|fixed, 
  You|broke|her|heart. 
  "Oh|dear|God,|what|have|I|done?" 
  You|ask|and|plead. 
  Disappointment|roams|like|fog, 
  He|isn't|coming|back, 
  Her|heart|tells her|mind. 
  "Shes|crazy!"|The|Therapist|announces. 
  When|really,|she|isn't|just|Crazy,  
  She's|crazy|for|you. 
  Dear|one|and|only,|I|love|you. 
  She|writes|this|on|a|tear-stained|paper. 
  Is|there|really|no|hope|for|her? 
  Through|all|of|this|tragedy, 
  He|can't|bring|himself|to|understand. 
  The|guilt|isn't|enough|to|bring|him|down. 
  The|dark|nights|he|spends|alone. 
  The|tears|he|savors,|to|remember|you. 
  He|brings|himself|only|to|one|understanding. 
  What|he|did|was|wrong,|but|was|it|wrong|enough? 
  I sing loud and clear, watching the crowd scream with me. I jump around the stage."yeah!" I say, to the last note. MY band mates all smile and I see a guy in the crowd that would not only surround me with pure beautiful comments, but would take my problems away. 
  Chp. 1 
  Tonight 
  I stretch, looking into the dirty mirror. Where am I? Nevermind that. I hear the door open.I turn, not surprised to see the man come back for more. I smile. "What does your sorry ass want now?" I ask, combing my hair. "You sounded beautiful-listen, about last night, were you serious?" Same question every time. I sigh. "Of course not." I say, finally looking at him. I hate the relief that floods his eyes. I roll my eyes. "Get out, please." I say, turning to the mirror. He stands there a few seconds. Hope rises with each moment he stays. I close my eyes, letting a tear of pure joy fall. Then the sound of the door slaming breaks it all. I scream, smashing the mirror with my hand.  
   I write down some vicious lyrics and get my stuff. I get in the little van my band and I own and sit in the back. "I know what an asshole he is." One of them says. "Me too, but I still sleep with them." I mutter. He laughs. "Exactly." I nod, my smile angry. right. 
  ............3 hours later.............. 
  I get on stage and wave to my fans. "How are you little fuc-fans?" THey laugh and give me the bird. I laugh and sing, "ALL|RIGHT|BITCHES!!!" I then go into a screamo. One of the good songs I usaully start out with, "The story of my life" 
  I gasp for air as the sweat drips off of me to the floor. I srtum a few notes on my lovely guitar and start a new song... 
  |She|twirls|in|The|rain|Cries|in|the|sun 
  I sing in the slow mellow way, then scream.  
  Theres|no|Time|To|Save|This|Mess|elli| 
  She|Calls|HErself|  Elli!|Elli!|Little|Elli!  
  Chp. 2 dead gorgeous-wait, dead. Just DEAD. 
  I pretend to come running at Christopher. He pretends to do his "no living" kick. He tries to kick me, but I dodge, kicking him. He pretends to fall, grabing is heart. "Oh, How I wait, How I stay in this pain! End it! I can't take-" I pin him down. "Give me I piece of paper! Don't you die on me, Chris!" I yell. He laughs. Someone with alot of bags stares. Eli, pronounced, E-LIE, gives me a peice of blank paper. "Idiot!" I say in an accent. "When do I ask for just a peice of paper?" A pen hits my head. I grab for it, and write on his chest. I name the new song,  
  "End this" 
  ...........2 hours later (at some bar-BIG bar)... 
  "Do you want to hear a new song?" I yell into the microphone. People cheer, people scream, some laugh. "Allriiight!" I drag the word. "Lets end this, Bitches!" They reply with a chant, "End this! End it!" I start with a slow beat. Sad beat. 
  She|Walks|ALone|She|Will|DIE!!! 
  The|Man|left|his|his| his|Mark|  
  Right|on|Her|Face| 
  All|Around|her|pain|is  
  there|surrounding|her|  
  she|has|no|air!!!! 
  I sing my heart out, then go backstage. No goodbyes. No, see you again! Nothing. Damien frowns. "Why is my drummer frowning, Chris?" I ask, taking a big gulp of water. "I put a pencil up my-" I put my hand on his mouth. "But UN-explained, Chrissy." I say, giving him a light kiss on his cheek. I give Damien a big sloppy one, making him roll his eyes and laugh. I give Eli a slap on the ass and bite his ear. Soooo demented. He laughs and returns the favor. I open the door and start towards the van.  
  Sleep! "Hey," I turn. "Hello, mysterious man, what brings you hear?" I reply, flirting. I saw him in the crowd. something in my head goes, "Now, Moon, remember how the last ended." Endless one-night-stands. Shut up voice! I smile. He smiles back. "Want a couple of drinks?" He asks. "Want a three-way?" I ask. He blushes. He's my age. seventeen. never finished highschool. Brought my family to shame. Too bad!  
  "depends." He says, putting his hands in his pokets, looking down, ltting his long bangs fall on his face. "Do I get an autograph?" I giggle. "Why not"? I say, raising my shoulders. He smiles. He comes closer. He pushes me on the van, lightly. I drop my water. He kisses me. This feels really good. Hello Happiness! Whoa. I need to remember that. His lips feel like...feathers. He stops. "I want you to play my song." He says. I stop. "Wh-What?" I stutter. He smiles. He pulls out a piece of paper, looks folded and old. He gives it to me. He gives me one more kiss. "Wait!" I yell. "What the hell is your name?" I ask. He smiles. "Mark." He says. I blush. "Kay, Mark. Can I have you number?" He laughs. I grab a pen from my poket and hand it to him. I give him my hand. He writes quickly, and waves, in a cute way and walks away. I fall to the ground and program his number in my phone.  
  chp 3  See....theres this boy 
  Okay, so there is this cool little get together that is really big, and it has big bands, and amature ones like us. WE don't even have a name. Well,  we will. We are going to tell the fans there. It's where you sing a song by a band you like, this year, Eli picked. First, he wanted BLood on te dance floor, Hello Kitty. We all said, No. Wait, we said, HELL NO! Anyway, I can't remember the name, but were invited and our name is...(drum roll please) Hello Hysteria. Goodbye yesterday Yup. Don't wear it out. ha-ha. its long, so were Hysteria for short. yay! right?  
  I looked at Marks song. really good! anyway, the song we our doing is, "OH MY GOD" by, Ida Maria. "Her words destroyed my planet" by, Motion city soundtrack. (My pick) "Lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off" by, Panic! at the disco.(Eli's pick) and "riot" by Three days grace. And the finally, were playing "The funeral" by The band of horses and playing, "Gravity" By Nico Vega. It lasts for three days! Its going to be fun! 
  chp 4  Zombies. really? REALLY? zombies? jeez 
  I test out my guitar. Band is not here yet. Late. Again. I'm suppose to play by the places the people are staying at until the its my time to play. I make sure its tuned. Ok. I start off with a song I listened to on the radio. 
  If|I|Stand|Too|Close|I|Might|Fall|In| 
  But|If|Too|Far|Gone|I'll|Never|Win| 
  It's a good song by, Motion city soundtrack. I walk and play a little song on the guitar as I do. I go into the little store. I look around. I hit a bag off of the shelves. "Shit." I mutter, picking it up and putting back.  
    I try not to gasp when I see Mark. He is there, and his lips look beautiful. I hurry and find a pen. I write down, hurt lyrics.  
  Your|lips|look|soo|good|on|hers. 
  Do|These|Weak|Tears|Look|Good|On|Me? 
  I name the song, Hurt. I also take the piece of paper and throw it.I Love the song, hate your face. After all, it was just a kiss. Fuck! It was. Just like my one night stands. I slump my shoulders. I sit on the sidewalk, it begins to rain. I start writing more of the song. 
  Do|they|look|good|on|me? 
  Does|the|hate|in|my|eyes|make|me|look|pretty? 
  It|was|just|a|kiss. 
  My|whole|life|is|just|a|kiss.. 
  One|night|stands 
  Dead|to|me|Dead|to|myself.  
  Remember|that|love|song? 
  Love|the|song,|hate|your|face. 
  If|it|was|just|a|kiss|why|am |I|crying? 
  These|tears|arent|stopping. 
  I'm|at|my|own|funeral. 
  My|silent|sobbing. 
  If|you|were|just|a|boy, 
  It|was|just|a|kiss... 
  "Just a fucking kiss." I say aloud. I put the paper in my jeans. I put my guitatr under a bag I see. I start singing. Someone walks by as I do. He takes a second glance, then stops. Oh Shit! I smile, waving. He waves back. "In the rain?" He asks. I smile wider. "Yeah, cleans the pores and washes your clothes." I say.  
  He smiles. "Ah. Sounds, fun?" He says, giving a little laugh. Ohhh yeaahhh! "Better go inside, you might get wet." I say. He smiles. "Whats your band?" He asks. I smile. "Hello Hysteria, Goodbye Yesterday. Hysteria for short." I say. He nods thoughtfully. "Well, My band is Panic!at the disco." He says. I smile and blush. "Oh, I know. Were doing one of your songs." I say. He nods and waves goodbye. 
  THe door opens. "Hey, I love your music!" A voice of some girl says. I thought the people coming weren't aloud in here. I keep my eyes closed, looking up, I smile. "Thats good, someone at least likes it." I say. "My boyfriend says he loves it." She says. Nod, no answer. "Would you play his song already? I mean, Hes went to every concert, and you still haven't played it." 
  Oh great. Just great. I don't sigh. I wont sigh. I let out a sigh. "Yes. I guess I haven't." I say, calmly. He took advantage of me. Wow. Just found that off. "He wants his song back." She says. I smile. "Its on the floor in there." I say. I hear the doot shut. "Thanks." She mutters. "Its your love song." I mutter. The door slams, again. Shattering my heart.  
    I have to play in an hour. Crap. I get up and grab my guitar, walking towards my room. I get dressed and ready. I have ten minutes to spare. I don't really care. I'll talk to the crowd. They half listen. I walk up to the stage with Eli. I go to get the piece of paper I wrote on, but it's gone. I look back. Nowhere. "Fuck!" I yell. Eli laughs. "We will later." He teases. I laugh and smack him. We find Damien and Chris. "Guys ready?" I ask. they shake their heads. I nod. Alright.I go out to the crowd. "Hellllooo!" I say. "Is anyone wet?" I ask, getting a reply from Eli. "Hell yes! Hurry! It doesn't last long." People laugh, people shout. I smile. I decide to get the piano out. "Ready? This is a song by Radio head, its called slow motion. It's been song over and over, I know. I just love it." I start. 
  Miss|Jones|taught|me|english|But 
  I|think|I|just|shot|her|son| 
  I finish the song, and now Eli, Damien, and Chris are out on stage with me. I go up to the microphone. "This song is "OH MY GOD" BY Ida Maria." I say, then start to play. 
  Find|a|cure| Find|a|cure|for|My|life 
  I sing really good, for my condition. I sing other songs, like "@!#@!" BY motion city soundtrack. I see mark in the crowd. I just go freestyle. 
  Its|time|For|You|To|Understand| 
  Someday|You'll|figure|it|out 
  I|Know|I|was|Never|good|enough| 
  You'll|Get|what|you|want| 
  I|know|I|wasted|your|time 
  I|Keep|Telling|Myself| 
  This, 
  I point to my lips. 
  Will|never|Make|you|proud| 
  I go on. I see his face change.  
  I end the song with a gutretching discovery. 
  I'm|Finished| 
  I hit the last note and walk off. Eli and the others play around. I smile at the crowd, and wave. I turn and run into Mark. I try to smile. "Oh, Hey." I say. "You wrote a song about me?" HE asks. I laugh. "What makes you think your that special, Mark?" I ask. He stares into my eyes. I dare to do the same. He grabs my hand and pulls me behind a room thing. "I want to know why you didn't play my song." He asks. "Becuase it's not mine." I say. I go to walk away, but he pulls me back and kisses me. 
  I push him against the wall. "I'm finished." I push him harder. I feel like I'm dizzy. Everything ges blurry. I look out at the crowd, some are asking for pictures. I look up. MY knees give out and I hit the ground. My head hits the ground, but I don't feel it. I hear people yell. I look around. Why is there glass everywhere? Thats when I realize. I just got hit with something. I close my eyes.  
  I'd like to die now. 
  I open my eyes and I'm in somewhere really hot. I groan before saying, "Okay, whoevers in here, I'm taking some clothes off." I swallow. My mouth is really dry. "Are you okay?" I open my eyes and see mark. "WHat happened?" I ask. He smiles. "It was an innocent accident. Someone was throwing glass away, and you were in the way." I laugh. "Why'd I faint? I'm a wimp." He shrugs. 
  "Your not a wimp." He says, brushing the hair out of my face. "I'm just a joke to you." I say, sitting up. I steady myself. "No, your not." He says, sitting next to me. "No, I'm more importnant? Oh, I know, I'm your fucking ticket to a guitar." I say. "I just wanted you to play my song." He says. I nod. "And when I didn't, I wasn't worth your while." I say. He goes to protest. "No, It's okay. I get it. I'm going to leave." I get up and hold myself up, leaning against the wall. I open the door and see Chris. He smiles and helps me to the room. Were only a few feet when I hear the yelling of Mark. "Moon!" He yells, getting closer. I look back. I see peice of paper I wrote earlier. I give it to him. "Here. Play MY song, Mark." I say and turn. "You know my song is worth playing, Moon!" He yells. I smile. "Well, It wouldn't do any good played by a worthless." I say and give him the bird. 
  Chp. 5 
  Oh MY GOD!!!! 
  I dance with the crowd. a guy notices me. I smile. "YOur really good." He says. I smile. "Thanks." I reply. "I'm going to go get a drink." I say and walk to the stand. "A water." I say, handing him a dollar. I look up. Oh, Jeez. He doesn't say anything. I drop my wallet. I bend down and pick it up. I turn and hes not in the stand. He's behind me. He grabs my shoulders. "Mark-" He kisses me. I try not to kiss back, but his hands pull me close. I kiss back. I stop and stare at him. Why not? I kiss him again. He pulls me somewhere. I know this isn't right. It isn't. I haven't even known him for an hour.  
    There is a lake nearby. I take his shirt off. He takes mine off. I laugh. I strip to my underwear and bra. I start singing the song, "Dog days over" by Florence and the machine. I turn from him and sing louder. HE crashes into me, lifting me up and taking me to the water. "Hey! Love brids, the bands are having a rollerdurby!" He yells. Mark stops. I smile.  
  We walk in with our rollerskates on. All he had on was his boxers. I had my bra and underwear. We walk in and people laugh. Some people start undressing. Eli screams, "YEah!" He takes his shirt off. I laugh. They explain how to play, and I get my band. "Ready?" I ask. THey nod. I smile. WE go out, and there are fans watching. I smile and wave. Were against another band. A girl lead singer. Shes with two other guys. Pink, black, gray, long colorful hair. I smile. "This is my band, the band. I'm Tess." She says, putting out her hand. I smile. "I like your shirt." I say. SHe smiles. "I like yours." We get in our places.  
  "WEll, first we have the, Zombie$@ThEE' against The Z0MBIE$." I turn.. "Thats not us..." "I changed our name, Moon. It kind of sucked." HE says. I nod. "Right." I want to yell and destroy things, but I wont. "Go!" He yells. and we play for hours. 
  Our new name is Zobie$@ThEE' I'm in love with the guy next to me, and well, I'm happy. truley happy. I got a name and number. I'm Moon. MY life doesn't suck anymore. Well, not totally, anymore. =] 
  Next book- 
  Hysteria 
   
   
   Publication Date: December 22nd 2010 https://www.bookrix.com/-hellohysteria