text: M.E. Barbie Doll Do you really want to be Barbie? 
   
   
     
   
       If Barbie were a real human she  would weigh 101 pounds, be 7'2", wear a size 4 dress, her waist line would be 19", and her shoe size would be a 5. Her head would be the same size as her waist which would mean she would only have half a liver and a few inches of intestines this equals to chronic diarrhea and death from malnutrition. Her head would be so large that she would not be able to keep it up and she would have to walk on all fours since her feet are so unproportional to her body.  
  So do we really want to be the real "Barbie"... 
                                              Sources: peacelovelunges.com 
   
   
   
   Prolouge  
   
      "Robert... your daughter has anorexia." the doctor says.  
  At home my dad beats me until I'm black and blue.  
      "How could you do this to me! Ever since your mom died I've had enough problems!"  
  I show him my only Barbie doll with half of its head left.  
      "Look at her, look at her waist. Its perfect," I say, "I want to have that." He smacks me against the cheek.  
      "You've ruined my life!" 
   
   
   
   Chapter 1: Facing the Problem  
   
       My stomach begs for food as the clock ticks by. Tick tock, tick tock.  
       "Five more minutes and you can go home Venus. Five more minutes, " I think to myself. Finally, after what felt like an hour, the bell rings.  
       Everyone rushes out of the classroom like a herd of wild horses. I try to keep up with the crowd, but from the lack of food, I pass out. My best friend Dakota picks me up and cracks a smelling salt below my nose.  
       I suddenly come back to my normal self and thank her. Dakota said your welcome in sign language because of her refusal to talk. 
       Years ago, I was over at Dakota's house. We were playing and I hit my tummy against the corner of a table. Dakota's mom, Ms. Rose, told me to lift my shirt just a little to see if there was any damage. I refused to at first then she made me. Slowly I lifted my shirt with tears in my eyes. Ms. Rose put her hand over her mouth and hugged me. I could hear her crying over my shoulder.  
       "Dear, is your father neglecting you or..." she went on, but I did't listen. Later I told her the whole story.  
       "Oh honey, you can't do this... it's killing you." Dakota nodded with agreement.  
       "Well please don't tell anyone else."  
       "I promise." Dakota showed.  
       Mrs. Rose did not understand. "You need therapy. You can't do this. Its hurting you."  
       She had set up a session at the Family Therapy Center to go once a week. Not once had I ever attended a session. 
       The next morning I wake up. I try to get ready for school without waking my dad up. This day, it works. It doesn't happen everyday though. As I ride my bike to school, I arrive at a stop-light. Soon enough, I notice the populars are in their Yellow Hummer right next to me.  Great 
     What is she riding? Look at her clothes! 
    and so on. The light turns green and I pedal onward. 
   
   
   
   Chapter 2: Life at lunch  
   
       At 12:45 p.m., after band rehearsals, comes lunch. Everyday I eat two baby carrots and half a bottle of spring water. I look around at the other students just scarfing down their food. Gross.  
                  I look in front of me and there sits Dakota. She is a vegetarian. Today she consumes spinach salad, celery, and one cup of green tea. To the average person it does not seem very filling, but to me, it look like you can gain a few ounces from eating it! "Are you sure you don't want any of my lunch?" Dakota offers. "I don't need anything but this." I say. "Ok then."   
                 Suddenly a random comment comes out of my mouth, "Do ever think you will speak again Dakota?" I slap my hand over my mouth. "I'm finshed with my lunch." Then she walks off with her lunchbox. "Dakota... I didn't mean it like that." 
                 The populars then come by with their lunches. Grace does not see the steak on the floor. She steps on it and her food comes hurtling towards my face. Splat! The gravy, steak, and all kinds of weight-gaining foods are on my face, even in my mouth.  
                 I rush to the bathroom and wash my mouth out. I gargle as many times as I can, but can still taste it. Then I go to the toilet and force myself to vomit. After five minutes I just sit there in the bathroom floor. The room starts to spin and then in an instant... I am out of it. 
   
   
   
   Chapter 3: The incident  
   
                   I wake up and look at my watch, a quarter 'til two. "OH NO!" I think to myself. I get my stuff for chemistry and slowly walk to the classroom. Mrs. Fille is going to kill me! As I walk in the classroom everyone is staring at me, it is so quiet that you could here a pin drop. "Late again Ms. Palemero. See me after class." With guilt, I walk next to my partner Dakota.  
                     "Passed out in the girls restroom, did you not?" Dakota shows with a smart alec sense to it. "Yep," I awnser. "Now class if you will take what I call the "mouthwash" and poor it into the green substance you will get a surprise." Everyone does as Mrs. Fille said to and they did get a surprise. Out comes a smoke of vibrant colors: turquoise, pink, gold, silver, yellow, etc. It was so beautiful. 
                     "This is what you call the "beautiness in chemistry"." Mrs. Fille quotes strongly. Grace Cauble and Faith Weddington are behind Dakota and me. I turn around and see that Grace is whispering something in Faith's ear. Faith then laughs and looks at us. "I smell a rat," I whisper to Dakota.  
                    Dakota turns around and watches them snicker and laugh. She nodds. "Is there something wrong girls?" Mrs. Fille asks Grace and Faith. "Oh no! We were just dicussing about...ummm... H2O?" Grace says.  
                    The class laughs. I can see that Dakota doesn't want to be mean, (of her good nature of course) and tries to hold in her laugh. Her face turns red and then she bursts out laughing. You would think that a person who does not talk does not laugh, but it is different with her. 
                    After letting out a laugh or two, Mrs. Fille calms down the class and gets us to doing classwork. "Now remember, you cannot leave until this is finished." Mrs. Fille reminds us for the ump-teenth. I read the worksheet, "Ok we need to combine this and mix that and so on." 
                    We go to the back of the classroom and get the supplies we need. Without Dakota or I noticing, Grace and Faith switches one of our ingredients with another. We come back to our lab table and start. One set of partners finish and then two others finish. "Ok we better get started." I say.  
                    Grace and Faith are finished and so are everybody exept two other groups. Dakota and I mix everything together before the two other groups and instead of the mixture turning a burgundy color, it starts to bubble up and overflow the container. "Mrs. Fille!!!" I yell.   
                   "Move out of the way girls!" Mrs. Fille grabs the emergency hose and sprays our whole table. Lucklily, none of the mixture got on any of us girls. Mrs. Fille double-checks just to make sure. "I don't know what happened, we got the ingredients..." Mrs. Fille interupts me, "Well it was not sopose to do that! But I will let you guys off the hook. This time only!"  
                   "Got it!" I say. Dakota elbows me and then points to the door. Through the door I can see Faith and Grace laughing at us. I look back at Dakota and she looks at me. Through that look she is saying, "I knew that there was something wrong." 
   
   
   
   Chapter 4: Confession to Another  
   
  Dakota shows bye and leaves for band rehearsals. I know Ms. C would not care if I were late or not. "Ok now that everyone is gone, I want us to talk," says Mrs. Fille. "Sit down if you may." I sit in one of the black and white polka-dotted bean bags. "What has been going on with your many tardies? Is there anything wrong that I should know?" 
                  "I don't know," I say with my my head kept low. "Are you sick? I have a nursing degree. I am sure I can remember enough to check you up." "No thanks," I reply. "I will not take "no" as an awnser. Come here." Mrs. Fille demands. As she fiddles through her draws and cabinets, I slowly come toward her. "Aha!" Mrs. Fille holds up a spagometer, stethoscope, and themometer. 
                  "Oh no! Telling Dakota and her mom was enough." I think to myself. I started to sweat. "Ok now stick out your tongue." I put my tongue out and she places the themometer under it. After a minute or so the themometer starts beeping. "98.5 deggrees. Just one-tenth below the average tempurature. Mrs. Fille smiles at me. I try to fake a smile back.  
                  "Put out your arm." I am as obedient as a trained dog with its owner. She wrapps part of the spagometer and around my arm and starts to squeeze the thing-a-ma-bobber. "Ok your good on your pulse. Let me check your breathing." "Here comes the climax Venus," I think to myself. 
                  "Can you lift your shirt right beneath your chest?" Mrs. Fille asks. "Do I have to?" I ask with a sad puppy expression on my face. "Aren't you a little old for that trick?" "I don't know."  
                   "Quit playing around Venus. Now lift your shirt up a little so I can check your breathing." Slowly I lift my shirt regreting every second of it. "Why did I have to be late. Why did I have to come to school. Why did I even choose to stay after class. WHY DID I EVEN HAVE TO BE BORN!!!" I think to myself. 
                   Mrs. Fille's usual happy expression changes oppositely. "Venus... how could you do this to yourself? 
   
   
   
   Chapter 5: Too Much to Handle  
   
  "I don't know I just... I can't do this anymore!" Tears start to stream down my face. "But Venus. You can't handle this along. You need help." "I can handle this myself. It just makes it worse when someone tries to butt in MY OWN PERSONAL SPACE!"  
                        "VENUS PALEMERO YOU STOP IT THIS INSTANT!" Mrs. Fille commands. "YOU ARE NOT THE BOSS OF ME!" As if I am possessed by a demon, my hand comes up and smacks Mrs. Fille across the face. 
                        Mrs. Fille puts her hand against her injury and looks at me with tears in her eyes. I look at my hands. "What did I do!" I run out of the classroom and go as far away as I can from there. 
   
   
   
   Chapter 6: More Problems To Handle  
   
                     I decide to run home. After ten minutes of running I finally arrive at my house. Usually my dad is at work at this hour, but not today. I try to sneak into the house without him noticing... it does not work.  
                    "Aren't you a little early from school?" he asks. "Well... ummm... the school was dismissed early today." I say. "Are you sure. Because you know that I don't like when your missing school." his voice gets louder. "Yes, I am sure."  
                    "Well then get yourself to work and make some dinner!" "Yes dad." I go to the kitchen and search for something that he will like through the cabinets. "Expired corn. No. Moldy melon pan. No. Chicken noodle soup. It'll have to do.  
                   I get one of the "kinda" clean pots and heat it on the stove. I open the can of chicken noodle soup and pour it in the pot. My dad starts talking to someone on the phone but I, unluckily, ignore it. The soup starts to boil. I turn off the stove and feel the noodles, and they come out perfect. 
                   "I fixed dinner dad." I say happily to him. He slams the phone down and gets up. "Do you know who that was?" he says starting to get angry. I get tense up. "No." "It was your school. You know what they said." "No." I back away slowly. He gets closer. "They said that they did not dismiss school early. They also said that you ran away from school!" 
                  "I'm sorry dad! I'm sorry!" I try to run away from him but I'm not fast enough. He grabs my arm and slams me against the wall. He punches my face and kicks my shin. I try to get away from him, but his grip of my arm is powerful. 
                  He pushes me down on the floor and starts to kick me like I'm dirt. "Dad stop it! Your hurting me!" "Why were you even born! Before I had money. I didn't need to work five jobs a week!" After beating me like a boxing bag for one hour, he stops. I'm so bruised up that I can't move. 
                  I call up Dakota, "How about those therapy sessions that your mom set up?" 
   
   
   
   Chapter 9: Therapy  
   
   Dakota picks me up in her "Eco-friendly car" (the really small one's that only have two seats, but they are still cute!) She litterally has to drag me to her car because I am so weak. She drives for about 45 minutes, and we finally arrive. 
                  "Water?" Dakota sits there with a cool bottle of water. I grab it and gulp it down. "You need help Venus." Dakota SAYS. I spit out my water like O'le Faithful. "You... you... YOU TALKED DAKOTA!" I scream. A sharp pain went through my stomach. "Maybe you shouldn't scream." Dakota shows.  
                  I hug her. "But you were doing good so far! Did you have to stop?" "We better go inside." she shows. She goes to my side of the car and helps me go inside to it. Dakota spots a row of wheelchairs and shows to the office-client, "Can I use this for my friend?" "Sorry I don't understand sign-language."  
                 "Could I use one of the wheelchairs? I really need one," I ask the lady. "Sure sweetheart!" I make a face at her "sweetheart remark". Dakota helps me in her the wheelchair. "Where is my 4:00 appointment?" "Last name?" "Palemero." I reply "First door to your left honey." "Does she really have to call me that?" I whisper to Dakota. 
                Dakota merely smiles at me. We enter into the room and there is just this sense to it that you cannot make out. The lady there looks up at me and says, "Hi Venus! It's about time you came! My name is Dr. Anastasyia." Dr. Anastasyia is beautiful. With bright, beautiful,red hair that runs below her waist. Dark blue eyes in her deep set eyes.  
                Her eyeliner made to make her look like an anime-girl. "Hi Dr. Anastasyia. I should have come a long time ago." I say with regret. "Well let's start." "I think I will leave you to alone. I need to go to mall anyway." Dakota shows. 
               She smiles at both me and Dr. Anastasyia and leaves. "Very nice friend you have." "Yes, she has always been there for me." "You'd be a total mess if she weren't your friend, right?" Dr. Anastasyia says. "Yes..." I say like I think she is a physcic. 
               "Well we better start at the beginning. How old were you when you started doing this?" Dr. Anastasyia crosses her hands and legs and leans forward to get every detail of my story. "I was nine years old..." 
   
   
   
   Chapter 8: A Good Start  
   
          "Okay. I guess that's all I need for today." Dr. Anastaysia says. "Wait I was only half finished." I plead. "It's okay. There will be plenty more sessions to come." she says while laughing. "Well thank you!" Dakota had arrived just in time. I was so busy preaching my story to her that I never noticed that the pain throughout my body was gone. 
                 I stand up and Dakota first sits me down then I say, "It is okay. I'm better now." "Awesome!" she shows. Dakota drives me to her house then when we arrive I say, "Shouldn't you just drop me off at my house?" "Woah no! You are not going back there after what your dad did to you. If you go back he's going to kill you!" she shows furiously. "Smart." I say while wiggling my pointer finger towers her.  
                  "Hello Venus! What are you doing here?" I could not say the real reason why because she will tell the whole world. I make one up. "Well...ummm... my dad received a new job and he has to fly to... JAPAN," I frightened Mrs. Rose after yelling "JAPAN". "for...ummm... a month!" "Well your welcome to stay here for however long you like." Nra. Rose says. 
                 "Thank you!" I ran over and hugged her. "No problem Venus." she says with confusion at my extreme excitement. Dakota takes me to her room. Her room is the same as it is since we were in diapers. Baby pink and cream white walls, pink flower wall decals, a white daybed with cherry-blossom patterned bedsheets. I dive into her soft bed.  
                   "Ahhh... dozy." I say with my eyes closed. "Relaxing isn't it." Dakota shows. "Duh. You know that I have to sleep on nothing but cardboard and newspaper. Stupid dad gets the temper-pedic." I say. "Do not call your dad stupid Venus!" "Dakota... he beat me like I was nothing." "You still don't call him that. At least you have a dad." she showed.  
  "I am sorry Dakota. My head is not on right today." "Because your dad rearranged it." she showed. We both laughed and I knew Dakota forgave me.  
   
   
   
   Chapter 9: Dakota's Story  
   
                      I was probably four years old when this happened. "YOU LEAVE MY DAUGHTER ALONE!" The man held a gun five feet away from my forehead. My dad was a few feet across from me. "You move then she gets the bullet." the man said. "I trusted you Steven." "Well you trusted the wrong person." My dad was close friends with Steve. BFF's since preschool.  
                      It was just one random day that he stated acting weird at work. My dad and he worked as officers for the police department. My dad noticed his strange behavior but just ignored it. That day he had knocked on the door. My dad was picking vegetables from our garden that mom, him, and I planted together. Mom was at work.  
                      My dad failed to teach me about opening the doors to strangers so of my nature I opened it. Steve grabbed me and then I started yelling for him. My dad ran inside and threw a rock at him. It hit him in the shin. It was just enough for me to escape his grasp. But right before I could run into my dad's open arms, he held the gun. I had turned around and froze. 
                      After he told my dad about that he trusted the wrong person, my dad jumped in front of me. Then Steve shot the gun. I screamed bloody murder. It had startled Steve and he dropped the gun. I grabbed it and then shot him right in the heart. I ran back to dad. "Daddy don't die. Please don't die." I said with tears steaming down my face. "It's too late honey." And he was right. My hero right then and there died in my arms. 
   
   
   
   Chapter 10: The Dreaded Dinner Table  
   
                 "GIIIRRRLLLSSS IT'S TIME FOR DINNER!" Mrs. Rose sings at the top of her lungs. I look at Dakota. She nods back. We walk to the dining room and there lays a whole entire feast. "Here I already filled your plates with food," Mrs. Rose says. "Ya... I just noticed. Heh," I say nervously. "Dakota of course I fixed you a tofu burger." "Thanks mom." shows Dakota.  
                             I look at Mrs. Roses's plate then at mine. Then I look back at hers then at mine. "Hmmm," Ithink to myself "so I bet that she is trying to fill me up big time." Mrs. Rose plate was 3/4 filled with food and mine was so filled with food that it was about to fall off. "Well what are you waiting for… eat." commands Mrs. Rose. I sit down and look at it.  
                            My heart starts to pound. Almost like that time when we had to do a seven minute speech about why education is important in front of the whole grade. I had practiced my speech during and after school and even in my sleep. I got so nervous that my mine went blank. I even forgot why I was up there. That is how nervous I am now. Dakota and her mom are already stuffing their faces with food. I pick up my spoon.  
                            Dakota smiles at me. First I start to pick at it then I scoop up about half a spoonful of mashed potatoes. I sniff it. "Not so bad for a potato." It think to myself. Here comes the moment of truth. I lift up the spoon slowly open my mouth and eat the mash potatoes. Then I swallow. Dakota and her mom were clapping for me. 
                                                                       "You did it Venus!" Dakota SAYS. 
   
   
   
   Chapter 11: Girls Just Wanna Have Fun  
   
         "Venus! Oh my Venus!" Mrs. Rose rushes over and squeezes me.  "Okay, I think you're cutting off circulation to my body." I say. "Sorry." And then she lets go. Dakota comes over and hugs me, but a gentle hug. "You know I'm not going to talk forever." she whispers in my ear. "Oh yes you will! Even if I have to sign you up for therapy sessions. Isn't that right Mrs. Rose?" "Great idea Venus! I'll call them up right now." Then Mrs. Rose walks over and furiously punches in their office number. "Yes I'd like to..." 
                   "Are you crazy!" Dakota shows. "If I have to do therapy sessions... you're going down with me. How about we put in a movie. "Star Wars" should we say?" "I got the whole series, so far, on DVD!" Dakota shows. "BOOSH-YAH!!" I exclaim. I go change into my pajamas and brush my teeth because we aren't usually the snackers. Plus we're probably going to watch the whole series, so far.  
                  I spot two light sabers and a Darth Vader mask in the corner of her closet. I put on the mask and grab the two light sabers. "I see we meet again Obi-Wan Kenobi!" The we burst into a light saber battle. "Not bad, but not good enough to match my power!" Then "Obi-Wan Kenobi" starts backing me up. I see we are going to run into a table, so with all my strength and energy, I lift up my legs and jump over and across the table. Dakota stops for one second and shows, "That was aucious!" 
                  We then notice that the previews are over and that the movie is starting. We jump into the couch and under the covers. When the clock struck 2:00 a.m. we both fall asleep. After two hours of rest I wake up and go to the kitchen to get a glass of water. Then I notice the kitchen is different, but still very familiar. I hear glass shatter.  
                 "What'cha you doing Venus?" I see a figure in the shadows coming towards me. "Who are you?" I ask nervously. "What'cha you doing Venus?" "You already asked that. Show yourself to me!" "WHAT'CH YOU DOING VENUS!" And I see my own dad hurtle towards me with a kitchen knife. Then the knife plunges into my chest. 
   
   
   
   Chapter 12: Just a Nightmare?  
   
                    I wake up screaming. "Venus, Dakota are you okay!?" Mrs. Rose comes in with a baseball bat in her hand. "Sorry, it was just a nightmare." "Well as long as you both are okay. How about you go sleep in the bed?" "Okay. Dakota wake up." I throw a pillow at her head. She wakes up. "Your mom wants us to sleep in your bed."  
                   Then I notice. "How did you not wake up when I screamed?" "Heavy sleeper I guess." she shows. Then we walk to her room and collapse into her comfy, king-sized, temper-pedic.  
                                      (More to come) 
   
   
   
   The Lying Session  
   
                    "Okay Venus, how was your week?" asks Dr. Anastasyia. "Well I hope you will be happy to know that... I ate food. But more than just water and baby carrots... a whole dinner." Dr. Anastasyia looks alarmed. "Are you  
  not happy?" I ask. "How much, exactly, did you eat!" "Maybe about a little more than a plateful." I say. " Venus! You have only gone through one session. And it was only about your anorexia story. You only do little at a time. Not more than my average eating. I am sure 
   you will be fine as long as you take it slow now. And you didn't do anything physical exercise or anything related to that did you?" 
                              I think about the jump over the table. "No... of course not!" "Are you sure?" "YES!'" "Okay then. Now can we talk about why did you made this decision. About starving yourself." Dr. Anastasyia says. "Well you know every little girl plays with barbie dolls," Dr. Anastasyia nods, "I always saw how skinny her waist was. I wanted that." "Sometimes we just want to be just like something or  
  somebody. Whether it puts our life in harm's way or not. Everything or everybody has flaws. So if everybody has flaws should we not just be ourselves." 
                             I nod. "I mean Barbie's body is so unproportional. It would he hideous if she were a human." I laugh. "There are some people in this world that have spent so much money on trying to look like Barbie. On plastic surgery or on makeup or clothing. Here let me write down some names that you should look up on the web. I would look it up here for you but, unfortunately, we have run out of  
  time." "Okay that would be great!" She hands me the piece of paper with names folded up.  
                             I don't look at it so I just go see how Dakota is doing with her session. I look through the glass in the door and see that she is in her therapist's arms crying. The therapist says something to her and Dakota nods. She walks out wiping her tears. I have her look in my compact mirror and laughs at her smeared eye makeup. "So much for taking a whole hour on that." I put my arm around her and we walk to her car. 
   
   
   
   A Crucial Mistake  
   
       When we arrived back at the barn I immediatly run straight to Dakota's PC. I click on the search engine and enter in the first name: Venus Angelic.       Hey! She has my name!  
   
       The website popped up on the screen and I read the report.       Venus Palermo more known as "Venus Angelic" is known for the work's living porcelaine doll. With fair skin and deep set eyes, Venus Angelic spends the average of 110 pounds a month on Dolly supplies including colorede contacts, makeup, wigs, clothes, and accessories. She has been discovered with her dolly style on youtube doing videos on how achieve this look 
   . 
        I scroll down to see her picture and she looks exactly like a doll. And her waist looks fine. I type in the next name: Valeria Lukeynova.  Sounds foreign. 
   
        I notice that Dakota is now by my side with her smeared makeup all off her face. The website pops up and we both read it. A sharp pain goes through my stomach, but only for a second.  Valeria Lukeynova is known for the world's living Barbie doll. Having surgery on many of her body parts including: cheeks, nose, lips, breasts, and waist.  
   
        "You know it still isn't good that she had her waist surgerically done," Dakota says. 
        I shrug my shoulders and move on to the next name: Anastasyia Shpagina. One glance at the photo and I gasp. The sharp pain goes through my stomach again, but it comes back stronger. I start vomiting tremendously.  
        "Mom, Call 911! Call 911!" Dakota screams off the top of her lungs and then breaks into a hard cry. 
        An hour later, I am in a gurney rushing to the emergency room. I look off to the other patients. My vision is hazy. 
        I don't know if this is it. I don't care if this is the end of the road for me. What happened, happened. I can't change it. As I am rolling through the hallways, one last thing goes through my head...Dad. 
   
   
   
     
   
   
   
   End of Book 1 
   
  "Porcelain Doll"  
  Book 2 
  Coming in May 2013 
   
   
   Text: M.E. Images: M.E. Editing: M.E. All rights reserved. Publication Date: March 3rd 2013 https://www.bookrix.com/-porcelainedoll