text: Sophie J  Brain A Deal With The Devil  
   
   
   Prologue 
     
   Prologue 
   She could feel his hot breath on her neck as he pushed himself in, doing her best not to cringe she moved her face to the side. Big mistake as she turned he used the opportunity to kiss her, why was she doing this again? Each week she swore she would find another way and yet she always found herself back in the same situation and even though she knew she had to do it for the sake of her daughter it didn't make it any better. After about 10 minutes of him pumping her, groaning and slobbering all over her, he pulled himself out and grabbed her hair. 
   He was hurting her again and he knew he was, his dick was getting a little firmer each time she whimpered, he pulled her up and kissed her hard, his tongue going down her throat, this lasted for about five minutes before he roughly spun her around and pushed her so she was bent over the desk. “Oh, Jennifer I'm going to enjoy this” he muttered as he slowly entered her arse 
   She grunted slightly as she felt him slide deeply into her butt, it was hurting, it always hurt but Jen had to do her best not a cry, if she was weeping he would do for longer.  This is for Caroline  Jen scream in her mind, all this pain and suffering was so her daughter could have a better start in life than her, so she could turn out differently. Ever since Jen was young she had been a target for bullies, the overbearing bastards would always choose her for their twisted mind games. “Oh Jen” he moaned as he slammed into her “oh you are so good, you dirty whore” Why did she always let him do this to her? Why didn't she just take a stand and say no? Tell the men in her life that she was better? Was it because deep down she knew she was nothing more than a dirty slut, branded this way since the age of 13 
   She felt herself unclench as he took his hard cock from her arse but before she had time to relax she was back on her knees and his cock was in her mouth as he used her hair to push her so his dick went further and further into her mouth, it tasted foul and the stench was horrible, she doubted he had washed for a few days. 
   “Oh suck me good” he moaned like she had a choice in anyway, she felt his hand reach down and touch her boob squeezing hard with delight and then she wasn't sucking him anymore but had been pushed back down onto the floor, his lips were on her nipples licking and sucking while his fingers violently abused her pussy, it was all hurting but she could do nothing about it, if she did then her daughter wouldn't be going to best school and wouldn't turn out differently from her. 
   Then he was on top of her again kissing her neck and entering her pussy, pounding her and moaning. “Oh, Jen you are the best” he grunted “Oh yes fuck me, move those hips you bitch” She made a feeble attempt to move and his hand slapped her face “do it properly or not at all you slut, ah who needs you?” 
   Jen shut her eyes and laid perfectly still as he pushed into her, thrashed in and out of her until she felt him tremble above her “oh fuck me Jen” he moaned before collapsing on top of her. Another week was finished and she had another week before she had to come back and let this slob maul her again and make her feel like a piece of shit on his shoe. “Oh Jen” He mumbled as he kissed her and got up “you are such a nice slut” 
   He rolled off her and picked up her clothes, he sniffed them quickly before tossing them at her “Get dressed and go” he spat “you are making the room untidy” 
   She slowly got up being careful not to move her thighs too quickly, they seem to be constantly bruised these days, she got dressed as quickly as she could, anything to be out of this place but as she reached the door she heard him call out her name. 
   She turned around and faced him, he was a beefy man but Jen could still see where he was once attractive, his black hair was still that little bit too long and his body gave the appearance of superiority that supported his nature. Dreading the next words from his mouth she watched as he picked up a pencil from the desk and began to fiddle with it, completely mesmerised by the slight movement of his hands. “Keith” she answered almost defiantly, he hated when she called him by his first name. 
   His face went red but he did little else to show his anger “I almost forgot to mention the school fees are raising from next term” 
   Her heart fell to her stomach, she couldn't even afford the fees as they were now, how was she supposed to afford anything higher? She needed to make sure Caroline got a better start in life than she did, “But Mr Burton you know I can't afford anything more than I am already paying” 
   Burton stood up and stalked around her like a vulture circling their prey “Its 'Mr Burton' now you want something from me, is it?” 
   “I have nothing else to give you and you know that” Jen said softly “Please you must be able to do something I'm begging you” 
   “I do love to see you when you beg” his eyes sparkled with an evil delight as he backed her into the door, reaching behind her to lock it “funny last time I believed you were on your knees” 
   “Mr Burton please” Jen begged “You cannot want it again, we agreed to one hour each week, you just finished, you cannot be horny again” 
   Burton slapped her face, then used her backside to pull her to him so she could see just how horny he was “Our agreement was for me to help you out with fees as they stood before, they are now rising and I think perhaps we should raise your end of bargain. Say two hours every week, perhaps even two days a week for two hours” he threw her roughly back into the door 
   “Mr Burton that isn't fair” She whispered 
   “Fair?!” he laughed “you forget my dear that I have something over you, you want that daughter of yours not to grow into a dirty whore like her mother and I am the key to that dream, so I don't have to play fair” 
   Jennifer felt her eyes sting with tears “Please just help me” 
   Burton began to undo his trousers as he leaned over and licked her ear, softly, he knew she hated that, once his hard cock was fully exposed he whispered “Get onto your knees and beg for me Jennifer, and enjoy it this time” 
   
   
   
   Chapter One 
     
   Chapter One 
   
   Jennifer is thirteen years old and is about to meet someone who will change her life for ever.  
   
     
   Jennifer Gilmore made the same walk home from school every day, she passed the same trees and the same houses and it took her the same amount of time. One late March afternoon however Jen would take longer to get home, as she turned into Jackdaw lane she banged straight into a man. 
   “I'm so sorry” she cried out immediately despite the fact that it was her that was sprawled on the floor and not him, who looked magnificently calm looking down at her with a twinkle in his eye, she looked down and saw with utter embarrassment that her legs were wide open, she closed them quickly. 
   The man smiled and held out his arm “Would you like a hand?” 
   She smiled gratefully and took his hand “Thank you so much, I'm so sorry about that I should really look where I'm going” 
   No one said anything, he was too busy looking at her and she was too busy looking at him, as she had been speaking that twinkle in his eye had caught her attention and she had been mesmerised by it. He wasn't an old man but almost certainly in his thirties. His hair was greying slightly at the edges and his eyes looked like they held a world of knowledge. 
   It was at this point that Jen realised that she had been so busy studying him that she had not noticed he was doing a good job of studying her and the look on his face was nothing short of approval, what he approved of however Jen had no idea. 
   “It’s no bother” he finally replied, his voice as smooth as silk “no one was hurt” 
   “I can daydream horribly” Jen said feeling a need to explain herself “No one is usually on this road” 
   “Perhaps I should buy you a coke for the inconvenience of my presence” He smiled “It is the least I can do” 
   Jen felt her face flush “Oh no that's ok it was me that bumped into you” 
   He smiled and Jen felt her stomach flutter “in that case make it up to me by letting me spend the afternoon in your company” 
   There were many reasons why she should say no, he was a stranger and surely someone at home would miss her. Jen frowned, actually, her mum and her new step dad Colin were always so busy these days that they probably wouldn't miss her, she looked back up at his mysterious gentleman and once again found herself transfixed by that twinkle in his eye, she felt like she could get lost in that twinkle, slowly she nodded, after all one small afternoon of adventure couldn't hurt too much. 
     
   As the weeks went by Jen found herself bumping into her mystery man more and each time they went for a bite to eat. She soon found out that his name was Phil and after a bit of time she came to trust him completely. By the end of their third meeting he knew everything about her, it never occurred to Jen as she finished telling Phil all about her that she knew very little about him, all she thought about was how much he must care for her to listen to everything. 
   Seven weeks after their first meeting Jen walked out of school to find him outside, he had never met her from school and this was a wonderful surprise “Phil” she called as ran up to him “what are you doing here?” 
   “Well my dear I thought perhaps we could go somewhere else today” he answered cryptically 
   “Oh?” she frowned “Is there anywhere near here then? Colin says all the places around here are dumps” 
   “Colin is probably referring to the restaurants” he replied “I am referring to my house” 
   “Your house?” Jen echoed. 
   Without answering Phil grabbed her arm and started leading her out of the school building towards the neighbouring village. 
   “Phil wait” Jen laughed enjoying it all despite herself “Where are we going?” 
   He stopped and turned around a small smile touching his features, instead of answering her question he leaned down and kissed her softly and moved back, then while she was in a daze, he had never none more than kiss her cheek, he leaned down and kissed her again but this time he slid his tongue into her mouth and explored, she didn't know what to do so she just stood there and let him kiss her, then she felt his hand reach her backside. As he squeezed something inside of her went off and she knew what to do, she used her own tongue to find his and licked tenderly, in her head it was like their tongues were performing a slow dance of ecstasy. 
   Phil  slowly moved his head up and smiled slyly “Such a lovely kiss from someone so sweet and innocent but we still have much practise to do, so are we going back to mine?” 
   Jen nodded and followed him to his house, when they had entered the house he locked the door behind her and led her to the sofa. She sat down awkwardly and smiled, her heart was beating a mile a minute completely unsure of what this wonderful man would say or do next, for the last seven weeks something had been transforming within her and it had finally come to head with his kiss. She loved this man, she knew she shouldn't and she knew that it would never work, her step dad would never allow it especially as it would almost certainly mean his successful business would go down the tubes but she did anyway and now she didn't know how to act. 
   Phil  sat down next to her and kissed her softly, she became aware of his hand on her leg, he continued to kiss her and explore her with his tongue, his hand moved to her shirt and he started to undo her buttons, she stiffened slightly, she was not used to this much intimacy. 
   “Shhh” he whispered in her ear “It's all ok” his tongue darted out and traced the outline of her ear and Jen felt herself melting under him, his hand squeezed her breast slightly and she felt herself tingle between her legs it was at this point that she became aware of his cock hard against her leg, Jen knew enough about sex to know what that meant. 
   “Oh, god Jenny” he murmured against her lips “Oh I want you” 
   Jen moaned softly as she felt him kiss her neck, she wanted this, all of it, more than anything she had ever wanted in her life but the sensible side of her brain began to kick in and she found herself scared of the next step, this was all happening too fast. 
   “Jennifer what's going on?” Phil  stopped and got up “you've gone all stiff, I'm just trying to show you how much I love you” 
   Jen felt her heart expand “You love me?” 
   “I do Jenny” He murmured softly “and I thought you loved me” 
   “I do love you Phil ” Jen whispered “I do” 
   He stood up “Then you show me Jenny, show me how much you love me” 
   “But I’m not sure if I am ready to do all of it right now” she felt so embarrassed her words came out as a sob. 
   “You don't have to do everything sweetheart” he replied as he began to undo his trousers and rub his hard cock “You can suck me if you want” 
   “Suck you?” Jen asked 
   In reply he shoved his cock closer to her “Put this is in your mouth and slowly suck, move your mouth up and down it” 
   Jen gingerly took hold of his cock and ran her hand up and down it, feeling the muscles pulse beneath her touch, she heard him groaning her name “and you want me to suck it?” 
   He looked down at her “It would certainly show me how much you love me” 
   Jen nodded and moved her mouth to the tip of his cock and then slid her mouth down the length of it, the slight hair on his balls tickled her nose, it was a very strange experience and the taste was so weird but she knew that if she stopped he would think she didn't love him and she so desperately wanted to show him that she did. 
   As she moved her head back to the tip of his dick he groaned her name and grabbed onto her hair and pushed her back down to his balls “I prefer you here” he groaned and then using her hair he started to guide her mouth up and down his cock, not only did he control her movement but also her speed. At times, it felt like she was going to be sick and he was pulling on her hair which was causing a bit of pain but she was happy for it if it made him feel loved. He pulled her completely off his dick and leaned down to kiss her his tongue ramming into her mouth “I fucking love you Jenny, you suck cock so good” with barely a minute to breath her face was pushed back onto his cock. 
   Again, he used her hair to guide her. Her head moving up and down his dick first slowly and then the longer she sucked the faster he made her go and his groans got louder with each thrust. “Oh, God Jenny that's it harder, oh yes suck me good” 
   After 10 minutes of sucking him she felt his cock getting more stiff in her mouth and he let a moan louder than the others. “Oh, Jenny oh fuck yes”. He came in her mouth, his sperm dribbled slightly down her chin and he put himself back in his trousers, was she able to spit it out at all? It didn't taste bad but it had a slightly salty taste that wasn't going well with her, she looked up at him to see what he wanted of her. 
   “If you like the taste you can swallow it” He smiled 
   Jen did so, not because she was overly fond of the taste but she was scared if she didn't he would think she didn't care for him and she didn't want that. She stood up and wiped her mouth “I do love you Phil .” 
   “I love you too Jenny” He smiled as he grabbed her arse “but for now we must keep this a secret, you know your step father would never allow it” 
   “I know” she said “I wish he would be ok with it as I want to be with you” 
   “We will be together Jenny but when you are old enough” he replied kissing her ear “You could never come here now, think of what people would say” 
   “I know” Jen signed “we can still have out dinners, though can't we?” 
   “I will still be seeing you every day Jenny yes” Phil  promised “we can work on your sucking skills, see if we can make you better than perfect” 
   Jen smiled weakly “I'm sure I could try” 
     
   And Jen did try her very best, from that day on Phil  stopped taking her for dinner and started taking her round his house for a daily cock suck, after two weeks she knew enough that he didn't have to grab onto her and guild her, she could do it all on her own, he still did grab on if he got very excited though. It was a very odd thing, every time she sucked him and he came in her mouth he said he loved her even more but Jen could sense that he was getting agitated about not moving any further. He would try to get her to go all the way but then stop with a frustrated grunt and shove his dick into her mouth, she wished she could go all the way with him, she wasn't sure what was stopping her she certainly loved Phil , it was just getting the courage, that final push that made her do it. 
   One day Jen got the push that she needed, she left school and was shocked to see he wasn't there, since that first day at his house he was always waiting for her, without thinking she went to his house, he opened the door quickly and angrily. 
   “Jenny, you shouldn't be here” he growled but he grabbed her arm and pulled her inside 
   “I was worried about you” she mumbled “when you didn't meet me” 
   “Perhaps it is because I did not want to meet you” he snapped 
   Jen stepped back slightly hurt and slightly scared, she had never seen him like this before, had never seen him angry before, it was stupid but she did not think he was capable of such an emotion. “I'm sorry” she whispered “I should go” 
   “Jenny wait” he grabbed her hand “I'm sorry, I'm just a bit stressed today that's all” he pulled her closer and kissed her lightly “please stay” 
   Jen felt her lips tingle and nodded quickly “Can I help at all?” 
   “I don't know” he replied 
   “Well what is wrong?” Jen asked, desperate to help in anyway so he would not be angry anymore. 
   “Well first work has been a total nightmare this week” he began “and usually in those circumstances I would want to go and make love to my girlfriend but of course you aren't ready for that and then I got myself all worked up” 
   “Because I won't make love to you?” Jen asked 
   “Well I started thinking that maybe you don't love me as you say you do” he answered his voice working its way back to the sharp tone he had used earlier “Jenny I am willing to give myself to you completely but you don't seem willing to do the same. How can I know you love me when you refuse to show me?” 
   Jen bit her lip in thought, over the last few weeks all she had been able to think about was how he might start to doubt her feelings if she didn't have sex with him and now that is exactly what had happened, she felt disgusted with herself. Suddenly she had the need to show him that she loved him and to show him how much, she looked up at him and smiled weakly, he looked back down and her but didn't say anything finally she asked “Will you be gentle?” 
   His smile turned slightly possessive and he let out a small growl before grabbing her shoulders and kissing her, his tongue slipped into her mouth and it felt like he wanted to taste every inch of her, his hands moved to her backside, he grabbed and squeezed her, moaning deeply into her mouth. Then it all began to happen at once, before she knew what was happening he had lowered her onto the sofa and she was half dressed, he never stopped kissing her throughout the whole process, he was like an animal and Jen did not know whether to feel thrilled or scared. Within five minutes he had removed all of her clothing and he began to kiss her nipples, she let out a small moan whatever he was doing it felt so wicked and so lovely, she felt wanted and beautiful. Why had she waited so long for this? Why had she made him wait?. 
   “Oh God Jenny” he grunted as he moved his fingers to her legs “You are so fucking good, I am going to fuck you so hard” 
   “Phil ?” she asked nervously. 
   “It’s all fine my dear” he murmured kissing her neck “I will make it good” 
   She nodded, even though she knew he couldn't see, she hoped he would sense that she trusted him, He got off her for a moment and undressed, her eyes moved to his hard cock, even though she had sucked it on a near daily basis for the last few weeks it suddenly dawned on her how big he was, and he would need to put that inside of her? All she could think was that it was not in any way going to work. 
   He re-joined her and his fingers worked their way up her leg as he began to kiss once more, first he started on her collar bone and then trailed a line of kisses down her chest until he reached her nipples, he kissed them again but this time he was biting slightly, it did not feel the same for Jen as it had before, he was hurting but she didn't want to ask him to stop now not when he was feeling so close to her. 
   He moved back to her hear “Oh Jenny I love you, I'm going to touch you now” 
   “Touch me?” Jen echoed, “aren't you doing that now?” 
   He chucked, low and softly into her ear “I'm going to  really  touch you now” 
   Jen didn't know what to expect then she felt his fingers touch her vagina, he thrust one inside her and she let out a soft scream, she had not been expecting this kind of intimacy and she had not had time to brace herself, Phil kissed her hard as he pulled his finger out and positioned his cock ready to enter her. 
   “Oh Jenny I am going to enjoy this” he murmured “you are so ready, you naughty girl” 
   He pushed himself inside of her, kissing her so she would not scream. The sensation was so weird, it hurt a lot but Jen did not want to tell him to go slowly, she wanted him to enjoy this even if she didn't, she didn't mind how it is was for her as long as it was good for him, besides she had heard that a girl rarely enjoys her first time. 
   “Oh fuck Jenny” He groaned as he pumped in and out of her, each thrust more painful that the last “Oh fuck me Jenny” 
   Instinctively she moved her hips up, his cock moved deeper inside of her and the pain became stronger, perhaps she was doing it wrong and that is why she wasn't enjoying it so much, she moved her hips again in the hope that she would began to feel the same ecstasy as he was. 
   “Oh Jenny” He moaned, his thrusts were getting faster and more deep “Oh carry on what you are doing, oh you good girl” 
   He reached under her and squeezed her bum, his cock went completely into her and all she could feel was an enormous pain, it shattered through her and she wanted to scream but he had already covered her mouth with his and was kissing her, his tongue taking control of her mouth so she couldn't make a sound if she wanted to. After a few minutes the pain started to go down, as if he knew he stopped kissing her and moved to ear whispering “You are mine now Jenny in every possible way and I'm going to make sure you know it” 
   Squeezing and kissing her nipples, he pounded her wounded and swollen pussy, the pain had started to ease off and Jen felt the beginnings of pleasure tingle through her, she let out a small moan “Oh you like this?” he laughed softly “I had better go faster then?” he started thrusting even faster than before, the short pleasure that Jen had found was gone replaced with a frictional pain, luckily Phil was lost in his own pleasure to see. 
   Phil carried on making love to her, each thrust more hard and fast than the one before, for a few more minutes. His hands moved all over her and his lips kissed her neck and her nipples. Jen did what she could for his enjoyment and moved her hips in time with his as best as she could, her hands lifted up and brushed along his chest, he let out a small growl and moved her hand to his balls “rub then” he groaned and she began to do so. 
   “Oh god fuck Jenny” He screamed as he pounded her for the final time, she felt his hot liquid enter her as he collapsed onto of her “Oh Jenny” he mumbled “you dirty girl you” 
     
   
   
   
   Chapter Two 
   Chapter Two 
   
   Two months later, Jen makes a deal that will forever define her life.  
   
   
     
   
   Jen spent most days with Phil after their first time, especially as it was the school holidays. She found that he could be a very passionate man, if they weren't having sex then she was usually sucking him or giving him a hand job, so far he was enjoying all of their encounters and had made no more indications that he doubted her true feelings for him. 
   Soon September rolled around and she had to go back to school, on the first day back she found herself impatiently tapping the desk willing the time to move faster so she could escape and see him again. Each time they made love she always tried to do something a little different in hope that it would please him a bit more and so far the act has not been overly pleasurable for her, Jen's one goal and dream at that moment was for them both to orgasm while performing an act of love but she had not felt such pleasure yet, luckily she didn't think Phil had noticed that fact. 
   At long last school was over and she ran as fast as she could to Phil 's house, she tried the handle when she got there but it was locked so she knocked on the door, Phil opened it a few moments later looking slightly flustered, he grabbed her hand and pulled her in “Thank God you are here” he muttered quickly 
   “Phil ?” she asked “what is wrong? Have I done something?” 
   “Oh Jenny you haven't done anything” He raked his hands through his hair “It's me I've upset someone dreadfully and he is not the kind of man that you upset” 
   “How did you upset him?” Jen was quite scared now, Phil never looked worried. 
   “I owed him some money but I wasn't able to pay it all back” he replied “That did not please him very much” 
   “Can I help at all” Jen asked “I have some money saved” 
   “Oh Jenny” he sighed “This has gone a lot further than money now, he feels dishonoured” 
   “Oh” Jen bit her lip “So what can we do?” 
   “There is something that might help” Phil answered “but I hate to ask it of you, I love you so much and you shouldn't be mixed up in my mess” 
   “I love you too” she replied “that is why I want to help, what might help?” 
   “Well Mr Turner is rather fond of woman” Phil murmured “perhaps if you did something to sweeten him it might make things better” 
   ”You mean like sex?” Jen was confused, why would he want her to do that with someone else? It was an act of love. 
   He shrugged hopelessly “I don't want to ask you to do anything Jenny but I also don't want us to spend the rest of our lives looking over shoulders, I doubt you would have to go all the way with him, if you gave him a blow job that should be fine” 
   Jen felt her insides twist, she didn't want to suck some random guy but she didn't want Phil to be worried either and as he said the alternative would be to spend the rest of their lives worried that this man would strike, This was not the kind of life that she wanted to have, finally she nodded “Ok I will do this for us, when will it happen?” , 
   As if on cue the doorbell rang “That will be him now” 
   Jen nodded a little scared of what he would be like, Phil was always so thoughtful to her, this Mr Turner might not by the same. 
   Phil opened the door and Mr Turner walked in looking very powerful, he had a lean but muscular body, short blonde hair and he possessed the slightest stubble. When his piecing grey eyes looked at her his well-formed lips smiled in approval 
   Phil stepped forward “Mr Turner, this is Jenny” 
   “Jenny very nice to meet you” Mr Turner said smoothly 
   Jen smiled, thinking that would be the best course of action at that moment. 
   “Jenny will be trying to arrange a peace offering” she heard Phil say as he opened the door to the lounge “So I will just leave you here for a few minutes” 
   Jen followed Mr Turner into the room and smiled awkwardly, she was not sure what etiquette for this was. 
   Mr Turner, on the other hand, seemed to be completely aware of what to do, he roughly grabbed her hair and pushed her down so she kneeling in front of him, very slowly he undid his black jeans and pushed them down. “Take it out” he ordered gruffly 
   Jen swallowed and gingerly pulled down his boxers taking his large firm cock into her hands, she heard him groan and his hand tightened around her hair and used it to shove her mouth down the length of his dick. The action caught her off guard and almost made her gag, he was slightly bigger than Phil and she had not expected him to go this fast with her. 
   After the initial shock she managed to get her wits again and began to move her mouth in the ways Phil had taught her. She tightened her mouth around his cock and teased. Using her tongue to swirl around the length of his cock until she rested on the tip, she sucked softly and her tongue darted along the tip. Mr Turner seemed to like this, his cock got harder in her mouth and she heard him groan. Using her instinct she moved her hands to his balls and massaged slowly as she started to move up and down his cock, his groans got more enthused and his actions got more painful. 
   Then it all turned out of her control, he used her hair to stop her from sucking him and pushed her onto the sofa and removed her knickers, Jen felt herself begin to shake, Phil had not warned her that this might happen. 
   “Shh” Mr Turner whispered in her ear “It will all be ok” 
   He spread open her legs and moved his mouth to her pussy, his tongue began to move up and down her clit. It would have felt great if she had not been so scared. Jen should call Phil , she knew she should, but she was so scared of what would happen if she did, if this man was truly dangerous he might turn violent and then what would happen to her? What would happen to Phil ? She had to let him do what he wanted, when it was all over then she would tell Phil but right now she was just concerned with keeping this potentially harmful man happy. So instead she kept quiet and let this man explore her most intimate area with his tongue and fingers, she felt tears prick her eyes as his actions got more violent, after about five minutes of his tongue licking her pussy he stopped and moved himself away from her. 
   Jen let out a sigh of relief as it seemed it was all finally over however her comfort was short lived when she realised he was taking off his trousers “You are ready for me now” he grinned as he moved himself over her. He began to enter her but where Phil had been slow and careful this man was fast and hard, in one movement he was fully embedded within her, Jen bit her lip to stop herself from screaming in pain, she was so determined to not make any noise, she did not want Phil to come in and stop Mr Turner. She was sure he would since he loved her and not expected this to happen but Jen was so terrified of the consequences of that happening. Mr Turner groaned as his thrusts got more powerful and fast, the pain within her was growing and Jen could feel tears running down her face. 
   “Oh God” Mr Turner groaned “Oh fuck Jenny, you good girl” 
   Then his thrusts began to slow down, he was pulling out nearly all the way and then embedding himself within her again. It was while he was pumping her like this that the pain became unbearable and Jen let out a small sob, nothing too loud but he heard it anyway, it made him grin even more “Its ok dear it will be over soon” 
   He pulled out of her and grabbed her hair pulling her to her knees, he whacked her face with his hard cock and began to rub it up and down, it didn't take too long for him to explode on her face, his hot sperm hitting her eye and then dribbling down her down to her mouth. 
   “Lick me clean” he ordered as he moved her head down his cock again. Once all the sperm from his cock was gone he shoved her back and told her to lay down on the sofa. 
   Jen nodded and moved herself to the sofa. She laid so her head was turned away from Mr Turner, as she heard him leave the room she finally let all the tears flow, she cried heavy sobs and her body shock. She heard the door open again and quickly wiped her eyes. 
   “Jenny?” it was Phil , his voice barely a whisper “Are you ok?” 
   Jen sat up quickly, she wanted to seem calm and unfazed by it all but she knew that she still had tears in her eyes, finally she replied “he did more than you said he would” 
   Phil blinked but otherwise seemed unaffected “What do you mean?” 
   “He did everything” Jen whimpered “I let him do it all, I'm so sorry I should have stopped it all, I know I should have” 
   Phil hugged her “It's ok Jenny, it's happened now and you did everything perfectly” 
   Jen was confused, why would he think she did everything perfectly? Surely he didn't want her to sleep with other men? “Phil I don't understand” 
   Phil stood up “I have a few people I'd like you to meet” 
   Jen blinked in confusion “You want me to do that with other people?” 
   “Just until we get out of trouble and then we can be together properly” Phil explained. 
   “But I thought it was just a onetime thing?” Jen asked something inside her chest curled and twisted “I don't know if I want to do that again” 
   “Jenny my dear, you do want us to be together, don't you?” Phil asked “You do want us to have a future?” 
   “More than anything” Jen replied “I love you so much” 
   “Then you can do me a few favours can't you?” Phil sat back down and grabbed her shoulders 
   “Phil you're hurting me” her shoulders were stinging as his nails bit into her skin “Please stop it” 
   “You will see my friends Jenny” Phil snarled “You will keep them happy” 
   “Why would you even want me with men?” Jen asked defiantly despite the fact that she was terrified “If you love me why would you want me to do that? I don't think I can, I love you so much I can't be with another-” 
   Phil 's hand slapping her face cut her off “Don't you understand, stupid girl, it’s because I love you that I want you to do it, once this is done we can have a family.” 
   “You hit me” it was all she could bring herself to say, maybe Phil was right, a few more men wouldn't be so bad and if it meant a lifetime with the man she loved then she was sure it would be worth it. “Would it be many more people?” 
   Phil smiled and hugged her again “Oh you won't regret this my dear” 
   
   
   
   Chapter Three 
   Chapter Three 
   
   5 months later, Jen is still keeping Phil’s friends happy and is beginning to see herself differently.  
   
     
   Whenever she looked in the mirror these days she always saw a stranger. When she was at school she heard people use terms that she dare not think about but when she was alone they all came swimming back to her,  whore, slut, tart . They never say them to her but it still made her flinch regardless, Jen often wondered if other people could see it all in her eyes, if they could see all the secrets that she carried, if they could see all the favours she had done for Phil . 
   It never got any easier for her, each day she went to his house and she knew it wouldn’t just be him that she would see but someone else as well, one more person if she was lucky usually it was two, she always seemed to carry condoms with her now since Phil did not want her on the pill. Phil promised that it would all be coming to an end soon, he promised her every day but it seemed there was always one more person up the ladder that had heard about her services and just needed to have her, Jen had made up in her mind that perhaps this was just the life she would need to lead for the moment. 
   “Jenny where are you” Phil called banging on the bathroom door, “Mr Carter is waiting for you” 
   Jen signed and finished putting on her lipstick, she opened the door and smiled at Phil who leaned down and gave her a kiss on the cheek, that way he wouldn't mess up her make up. “I thought it was Mr Patel?” 
   “That's later my dear” Phil replied smacking her bum as she walked in front of him “then I have something to talk to you about” 
   Jenny nodded dutifully, each day he seemed to want to speak to her about something. She entered the spare bedroom where Mr Carter was waiting for her, he leaned down and kissed her savagely and pushed her onto the bed, the rest was rather a blur. Jen always turned her head away and thought about something else while it was happening. Mr Patel came in almost immediately after Mr Carter was done and again Jen just turned her head away and stared out the window. There was a park nearby and she could see a little girl playing with her father, or who Jen assumed was her father, she looked so young and innocent as she ran around the park with this gentleman chasing her. It became too hard for her to watch so Jen turned her back and looked up at the man who was pumping her slowly and then within a flash she was back into reality and she could not escape. 
   Mr Patel got off of her and pushed her down so she could suck his cock, this was a change, she hadn't done this in a few weeks. Her mouth got back into the regular routine quickly enough and she started to tease his cock slowly as she heard his groans get more and more enthused until he exploded in her mouth, the taste was vile but Jen knew she couldn't spit it out until he was gone. She heard him leave the room and spat it into the cup she kept on the bed side table, oh god this was truly vile at times, she hoped it would all be over soon but she always so scared to ask Phil when it would be. 
   She heard the door behind her open and then there he was stood looking over her, he gave her a tissue which she accepted gratefully. She dabbed the side of mouth and watched as he sat down next to her “I need to talk to you” he murmured as he kissed her neck. 
   “Oh yeah?” she asked “what about?” 
   “Well I need you to come over five days a week now” he answered running his hand up her leg “more people are interested in meeting you and it will mean that we can get this nasty business over with sooner” 
   “I'm not sure if I can” Jen said leaning back as his hand reached her pussy, his fingers playing with her clit and then entering her, she bit her lip slightly at the pain, she was always sore these days “Colin is asking lots of questions about where I have been, I'm not sure if he would let me out more” 
   Phil moved so his finger was further inside her and leaned down to kiss her chest “Well Jenny I am sure you can find some way to get him off your case” 
   She didn't need to be a genius to work out what Phil was trying to say, he wanted her to seduce Colin so he would let her out of the house more, she just wasn't sure if she could do it, sleeping with strangers was one thing but Colin was someone she had to see every day. 
   “Jenny I want you now” Phil groaned as he pushed her so she was laid on the floor completely, he entered her slowly but his actions after that were fast, he slammed in and out of her pussy painfully while kissing her roughly “Oh God Jenny you are good” 
   Jen smiled weakly, she didn't want to tell him how painful his actions were, she grunted slightly as he bit the skin around her nipple a bit too hard. 
   He slammed into her one last time letting out a loud moan and she felt his hot liquid enter her, Phil moved to her side and began to kiss her ear. “You do like fucking me don’t you?” he whispered. 
   She nodded because even though it hurt most of the time and she had not yet learnt how to enjoy sex, she did love Phil and because of that she like it when they made love together. “Of course I do” 
   “Well then I'm sure you will find some way to make your step father let you out more, and then we can fuck five times a week instead of just three” 
   The thought became appealing to Jen and maybe Phil was right, if she was there more then it meant that she could have sex with the people Phil had upset quicker and they would be together sooner. “I will try my best” she promised 
   “Good girl” Phil patted her on the head “now are you going to clean me up?” 
   Jen got on her knees and began to suck Phil 's cock, getting rid of sperm that was covering it, feeling him getting hard in her mouth again; it was going to be a long afternoon. 
     
   Later that evening Jen found herself stood outside of Colin's study, the closed door looking very intimidating as always. Quietly she knocked on the door and waited for her step father's voice allowing her entry. Once she was inside she didn't know what to do, so she stayed awkwardly stood by the door. 
   “Ah Jennifer” Colin smiled “What a welcome surprise, I thought it would be your mother” 
   “Oh sorry” she murmured not sure what else to say 
   “It’s quite al right” he replied softly “How can I help you?” 
   “Well I, um, just wanted to let you know that I won’t be coming straight after school for a while” best to get it out at once “I will back for dinner but I'm still helping my friend in the afternoons” 
   “What are you helping you friend with?” he asked standing up and walking towards her. 
   Jen took a step back “Just some business, he is giving me an internship that's why I've been staying out already but now he says he needs me five days a week” 
   “I bet he does” Colin said with a sly smile. As he looked at her she suddenly felt very exposed in the nightie she was wearing. She moved her arms so she covered up slightly and took another step back so she was pressed up against the door. Colin reached behind her and locked the door. 
   “Colin?” Jen asked nervously, 
   “I'm not a fool Jennifer” he said in a low vice “I know you having sex, you come back stiff and I can tell you are sore” 
   Jen bit her lip and looked down at the floor she hadn't been aware that her activities were so easy to detect. 
   Colin used his fingers to lift her face up “Its ok dear, I'm not going to tell your mother. So you have found yourself a boyfriend then?” 
   “Yes we love each other very much” Jen answered 
   “And now you need to see him every day after school?” at her nod he stroked his hand down her cheek “I'm sure it would be fine but perhaps you could love me a little as well?” 
   Jen understood perfectly and licked her lips softly. Colin took her silence as agreement and leaned down to kiss her. It was a light touch of his lips onto her's, over just as quickly as it had started. 
   Jen felt herself nod despite the fact that she had already agreed. 
   “It's nice when we can be friendly” he smiled unlocking the door behind her. 
   As she turned to go she felt his hand cup her arse and squeeze roughly. Jen bit her lip to stop herself from yelping. She moved quietly to her room and silently began to cry. She didn't know how much longer she could do this, all she was clinging onto was the fact that at the end of it all she and Phil would be together but that dream was fading from her mind with every new man she to fuck and now she would have to give herself to Colin and see him every day, it was going to be unbearable. 
     
   A week later Jen found herself restless, she had just had to see three people at Phil ’s house and she was not feeling very well. She missed the times before they had had sex when Phil would take her out on dates. That had all stopped after the first time they made love. 
   With a heavy sigh she let herself into her house looking around for Colin, he had been to see her twice since they had made their agreement and so far seemed to enjoy what she had to offer. She walked in the house slowly and silently, she was home a bit later than normal so she didn't want to disturb anyone. Suddenly she felt an arm come out and grab her, before she knew what was happening she had been pulled into Colin's study and was pushed up against his door. 
   He grabbed her shoulders and roughly kissed her, his tongue probing her mouth as his hand reached up and squeezed her buttocks. He used the leverage of her bum to pull her to him, she felt his hard cock through his trousers, as he let go of her he pushed her slightly back into the door. 
   Jen looked up at him as he leant on his desk looking very calm and masterful “You are late home today” he said 
   “I'm sorry Colin” she replied “things over ran, I came back as quickly as I could” 
   “It’s a good job I waited up for you isn't it” he smiled “Your mother wasn't feeling very well, she went to bed taking one of her tablets” 
   Jen looked at the clock it was barely past eight o'clock, her mother usually went to bed early these days, she said she didn't sleep well and insisted on taking sleeping tablets that usually made her dead to the world until morning. She looked back up at Colin who was grinning at her. “I hope mum wasn't too sick” 
   “Oh no” he said softly “just tired, come here Jennifer” 
   She dutifully walked over to him, after which he started kissing her neck and lips, moaning softly, he put his hands in her hair and pulled softly. “Oh you taste so good” he murmured. 
   She just smiled at him, she knew it was best to stay silent at these moments; he twisted his body around so he could get full access to her. “You really need to make sure you let us know when you will be late, we get worried.” 
   “I'm sorry” Jen said again “I will try my best to let you know next time” 
   “Lean on the desk” he ordered roughly, helping her when she didn't perform the action quick enough “We are going to do something different this time, I will make sure you  do  tell us when you are late” 
   Jen turned her head around scared slightly for what would happen but then it all became clear when he began to pull down her tights and panties. He picked up a book from the desk and used to spank her arse, each whack harder and more painful than the last, Jen bit her lip but couldn't stop herself from letting out a small whimper now and again, after a while he stopped using a book and just used his hands, oddly it was those slaps that hurt the most, when she was sure her bum was red raw she felt him stop she went to turn around but he held her firmly in place. 
   She heard him get on his knees and felt as his hands began to massage her buttocks, squeezing on occasion. “Have you learned your lesson?” she heard him whisper 
   “Yes I have” she answered softly 
   In answer to this he moved his mouth and began to kiss her backside, his tongue flicking against her butt hole. He opened her leg and shoved his fingers into her pussy, moving them in and out as he sucked and kissed her bum. Then he stood back up and pushed her so her face was resting on the desk and her bum was fully exposed “You are going to enjoy this Jennifer” he purred. 
   She could not have prepared herself in any way for what happened next, Colin entered her arse, the pain was excruciating and she felt like her whole body was stretching. He began to slowly pump her, moving in and out of her still sore arse, with each thrust his moans got louder and louder and the pain got worse. Jen tried to think about something else but she couldn't all she could think about what the pain and that fact that she was letting it all happen. 
   After five minutes of this painful torture Colin added a whole new element, he began to spank her while he was thrusting; she could feel him getting hard as he began to do this. He used her hair to pull her up so he could whisper her ear “Remember whoever you are with, out there you will always come home to me” after which he pushed back down and used her hips to move deeper inside her. 
   Jen let out a small scream despite her best efforts. 
   “Oh just bite your lip dear” Colin snapped “It will be over soon” 
   When it felt like she was going to pass out for the pain he pulled out of her completely and pushed her down so she was on her knees. He stood above her and began to run his hand up and down his cock, from instinct she moved up and began to play with his balls, Colin gave her a knowing look but did not ask her to stop, Jen moved and slowly licked them. It was then that he pushed her back, clearly at the end of his limit and orgasmed, his liquid squirting all over her face. 
   She started to stand up but he made her keep her on the ground, he leaned down and whispered in her ear “You are a dirty slut Jenny, I will definitely be seeing you more” he grabbed her arm and pulled her up “now go clean yourself up, perhaps I will see you again later” 
   Jen ran out of the room into the bathroom and began to run herself a bath, she always did this now, it made her feel better relaxing in a nice hot bath, almost normal, however she knew she wasn't normal any more. Colin was right she was a dirty slut only good for one thing, luckily Phil saw beyond that and wanted to make her more than what she was. If it wasn't for him that she really wouldn't be worth anything, she was already sleeping with so many men. As Jen striped off she smiled at herself in the mirror, as the image of her and Phil growing old together floated in her mind, it would all be worth it, it had to be. She had no idea her step father would soon make her give her services to his friends as well. 
   
   
   
   Chapter Four 
   Chapter Four 
   
   Three months after Jen's fourteenth birthday and she is just about to get some life changing news.  
   
   
     
   
   As Jen left the house to get to school she heard Colin call after her, with trepidation she walked back into the house, since she had started sleeping with Colin he had become quite demanding, asking her to do sexual favours for his business contacts. She did not like it but when she had told Phil he explained that she needed to do whatever Colin wanted because otherwise it might jeopardise their chances of being together. Apparently Colin knew enough to end their relationship; it had made sense at the time but as the months had drawn on Jen was forgetting why it had done. 
   She pushed her brain back to the present and smiled weakly at her step father “Yes Colin?” 
   “I just wanted to let you know that your mother is going to be away for a few days” he answered “she will probably be gone by the time you get home” 
   “Oh why she is going?” Jen asked, her heart plummeting, with her mum away Colin was open to demand a lot more. 
   “Just to get away for a little bit” Colin smiled slyly “she needed the break” 
   Jen frowned unsure of why her mum would need a break, all she seemed to do is sit around the house being a lady of leisure but before she could ask what she wanted Colin added “I treated her to a nice trip abroad, she will be gone for a month” 
   Jen smiled again trying her best to cover up the fact that her heart was sinking into her stomach. Colin could keep her up for as long as he wanted without her mum in the house, perhaps she should talk to Phil , maybe if he knew how serious things were getting with Colin he would want to step in and put a stop to it. 
   “Thanks for letting me know” she finally murmured “I would have been worried if I didn't see her” 
   He reached around and hugged her using the opportunity to squeeze her arse and grind her against him. “Make sure you hurry home tonight” he whispered “I have someone very important for you to meet” 
   Jen nodded as she pulled away and began to walk out of the house again, her heart was beating fast as she slowly began to realise that she had no control over her life, things were always moving faster than she could keep up with. Sometimes she even forgot why she was putting up with all of the people Phil brought her way, then immediately felt ashamed, perhaps it was getting ahead of her at times but she knew the end result would be her and Phil together for the rest of their lives, with a sigh she pushed on to school her dread of the afternoon to follow rising with each minute. 
     
   While Jen was at school, she found herself unable to concentrate on anything except Colin, the thought of him waiting for her at home so that he could use her however he wanted was enough to make her sick. She stopped as she walked past the toilets feeling a rush of nausea fill through her, she ran into the toilet stall and vomited violently. 
   When she was done she sat on the floor and sobbed quietly, she was not sure how much longer she could do this. For months she had let herself be subjected to all of this for the sake of love, and she did so desperately want to be with Phil but it was all becoming too much for her. She couldn't remember the last time she had a night when she wasn't fucking someone. 
   Jen stood up as something suddenly hit her, she also couldn't remember the last time she had had her period, not in the last two months for sure. It hadn't even occurred to her before, she had been so preoccupied with Phil and Colin and their friends that she hadn't even thought about it. She had always been regular with her periods, 3rd Friday of every month, and she couldn't bring herself to believe that the lack of it now was coincidental. She shakily left the stall of the toilet and looked at herself in the mirror, did she look more chubby? She touched her stomach, could she feel anything? 
   “J are you alright?” it was Annabelle one of her friends “you look very white” 
   Jen smiled softly “I'm just not feeling well that’s all” 
   “You look absolutely dreadful” Annabelle said never one to mince words “and your eyes are so red, have you been crying?” 
   Something must have shown her face because Anna reached over and hugged her “Oh Jenny why were you crying?” 
   “I don't know” Jen shrugged as the hug broke “I just felt sad, just suddenly became all emotional” 
   “Ah you poor thing” Anna patted her on the shoulder “Do you want to go and see the school nurse?” 
   Jen shook her head “no its ok I just think I'll go home early, get some rest” 
   “Jenny you have to see the nurse to go home early” Anna reminded her “Let me take you to see her, it’s probably nothing more than your time of the month” 
   “No I haven't been on for a few months” Jen replied without thinking. 
   “You've missed your period?” Anna asked, all of her friends knew how regular she was “Ah well it’s probably nothing, it’s not like you have been having sex is it?” 
   “No of course not” Jen lied, her friends didn't know about her after school activities “I'm probably just skipping them, I heard sometimes it happens” 
   “Yeah mine goes away sometimes for a few months” Anna said as they walked down the hallway “So it’s probably nothing” 
   Anna squeezed her as she continued to lead Jen to the nurse’s office. Jen realised that if she went to the nurse she was bound to slip up and tell them everything and then that would be it for her and Phil . She stopped suddenly and turn to Anna “Please don't make me the see the nurse she'll call home and Colin will get worried” Jen looked around to make sure no one was there “I'll just rush off and you can say you never saw me” 
   Anna looked unsure “Jenny, are you sure you are feeling ok? You don't look well at all; you look like you have something on your mind” 
   “I'm fine really” Jen answered “I just don't want to worry my mum or Colin and you know what the nurse is like, one case of stomach ache and you are dying” 
   “Ok Jenny but please let me know you are ok” 
   Jen nodded and ran off being careful to avoid any teachers, once she was out into the town centre she realised she had no idea what to do or where to go. She started walking aimlessly being careful not to attract attention to herself. While she was walking she found herself down Phil 's road, she walked to his house and knocked on the door, she had no idea how he would take all of this. He had told he wanted a family but not right now. 
   “Jenny what are you doing here?” It was Phil looking at her like she had sprouted another head “Shouldn't you be in school?” 
   “I walked out” Jen mumbled looking down on the ground “Can I come in?” 
   Phil moved aside to let her pass, should she tell him now? Or maybe it would be better to get a test first? It could all be a big misunderstanding and then she would have worried him for no reason. All her worrying was put on hold anyway because Phil suddenly grabbed her and pushed her up against the door and began to kiss her savagely. 
   “Phil ” she gasped the moment he moved his lips away from hers. “You want to do this now?” 
   “I always want to do this” he replied in a low voice as he began to work on her shirt buttons “And you have been so busy helping me recently I haven't been able to have you myself” 
   Jen blushed as he pushed her skirt down to the floor he kissed along her stomach and up to her breasts, he cupped them and squeezed roughly making her flinch slightly, he must not have noticed as he repeated the acting rotating them slightly clockwise. 
   “Oh God Jenny you are so good” He moaned as he took of her bra and kissed her nipples, biting slightly. 
   She just smiled weakly in return, it was either that or yelp at the slight pain his biting was causing. He grabbed her hand and pulled her into the lounge and pushed her onto the sofa. She was now completely naked except for her knickers, he walked over to her began to kiss up her leg, his hand squeezing as he moved closer to her pussy, he shoved his hand into her knickers and began to flick her clit roughly. He grabbed her hand used it to rub his cock, which began to throb and harden from under her trousers with each touch, when he was done playing with clit he moved away and got undressed. 
   After he pushed her to the floor and straddled her just above her chest, then he began to shove his cock in her mouth using her hair as leverage, she had never done oral this way before but she must have done relatively ok as he carried on for quite some time before standing up. 
   “Get on your knees  for me Jenny” He ordered roughly, when she did as he asked he grabbed her bum so he could thrust it in the air and then he slowly entered her from behind and started to pound in and out of her pussy. Whenever he fucked her this way he was always deep inside of her and she could feel the whole length of his hard cock entering her. His hand spanked and squeezed her buttocks as his thrusts became more frenzied and fast, Jen bit her lip as he pounded deep inside her again while letting out a small moan as he orgasmed inside of her. He pulled out slowly and began to get dressed. Jen stood up and put her clothes back on then looked at him expectantly. 
   “Well this was a nice surprise” Phil smiled “but you really shouldn't be bunking off school” 
   Jen looked down at the floor unsure of how to proceed, should she tell him about her suspicions? 
   “Jenny what’s wrong?” he asked “something is obviously on your mind” 
   “No I'm ok” she replied feeling very cowardly “I'm just thinking of the arrangement we have with your friends” 
   “Oh” he seemed slightly annoyed and his mouth moved into a thin line “What about it?” 
   “Well is it going to be over soon?” Jen walked over to Phil and went to hug him, he moved away before she could “It’s just I want us to be together now” 
   “Jenny why are you saying this now?” he asked “you were happy before” 
   Jen bit her lip “I wasn't happy Phil I did it because I love you but now I want us to be together properly” 
   Phil grabbed her hand and moved her to the sofa “Jenny we will be together just give it a few more months and our life can began” 
   “But what if we don't have a few more months?” Jen asked without thinking 
   “What do you mean?” Phil replied pushing her away. 
   “I think I might be pregnant” she whispered 
   He looked at her in silence, it was the longest minute of Jen's life, finally he walked over and hugged her “It's ok, I'll help you. I'll take you to get rid of it” 
   “But Phil what if I don't want to get rid of it?” she asked “Now we can be a proper family, just like you said” 
   Phil laughed out loud “You are a silly girl Jenny” 
   “What do you mean?” she whispered 
   “Do you really think I want a family with you?” he snarled “You are nothing more than a fuck for me” 
   “But you said you loved me?” she felt her eyes well up with tears “You said you wanted to be with me forever” 
   “Maybe I did at some point” he replied “but then you started whoring yourself around to all my friends. You honestly think I enjoy watching you in the arms of other men? I thought it was me that you loved” 
   Jen felt her body shake as all of her emotions battled together how had she not noticed how much all of her 'favours' were hurting him? 
   “But I don't understand” she whimpered “you said I needed to do this, so that we could be safe when were together?” 
   “At first yes” Phil allowed “But I had expected you to fight back a little, like any proper woman would” 
   “But when I did -” 
   “And then there is your step father” he interrupted “I never asked you to do that” 
   “You said-” 
   “I said” Phil replied cutting her off again “to keep him happy, it was you who decided to fuck him and his friends, my heart has been breaking over the last few months, then I realised you aren't worth it because deep down you are just a dirty whore” 
   Jen shook her head “No Phil I'm not really” the tears were streaming down her cheeks “I don't enjoy it at all. I just want to be with you and have a family” 
   “You aren't good enough to have a family” he grabbed her and pulled her up roughly “You won't ever be more than a filthy slut, I should have known all you state school girls are just slags” 
   Phil threw her out of the house, telling her not to come back. Jen walked on shaking legs to her bus stop, her eyes so full of tears she could barely see. Could Phil be right? Was she really nothing more than a whore? She thought back to when she first slept with Colin, Phil was right he hadn't said to carry on; he had said to make him happy. 
   Jen touched her stomach, she was going to have a baby to look after, she was going to have to make sure that her child wouldn't end up like her and she would just have to use all the tools in her box to make sure that didn’t happen. 
   
   
   
   Chapter Five 
   Chapter Five 
   
   Jen is eighteen years old, her daughter Caroline has just recently turned four. Jen is at a job interview that her step father has arranged.  
   
   
     
   
   He looked at her intently, even after all this time, after all the favours she had had to perform Jen was never used to this. She tried to act calm and confident but she always ended up scared and worried. 
   Mr Matthews walked up to her and sat down in the chair next to hers, smiling slyly “So Jennifer tell why you think you would be a good candidate for this job?” 
   Jen swallowed “Well I have been helping out in my step father's business for the last two years, I also got top grades at school. I'm just looking to expand myself more.” 
   “Well Colin certainly gave me a glowing report” Mr Matthews replied “he made me more than aware of how well you perform.” 
   She flinched slightly as he ran a finger down her cheek “Well I always do my very best, sir.” 
   Mr Matthews eyes flashed with passion “I'm sure you do” he stood up again and walked back to his desk “however it must be said that you do not have any proper experience, you are quite young and the rest of the team will fail to take you very seriously and I would also be remiss if I did not point out about your daughter.” 
   Jen nodded “I understand there are some reservations” she allowed “however I promise I'll work harder than anyone else and I will be very loyal to your company.” 
   “I can't have you running around looking for child care every few days” 
   “No I have all that covered” Jen replied “my mum will be looking after her when she isn't at school” 
   Mr Matthews slowly paced the room as he took of all this in “And then we come to the experience issue?” 
   “Well I have been doing the same job for my step father for the last two years” She answered. 
   “With help” Mr Matthews argued “and besides your step father is hardly going to fire or discipline you.” 
   He would  Jen thought warily; Colin was making any excuse to fuck her at the moment. “So you won’t be giving me the job then?” she asked as she began to stand up. 
   “Well let’s not be so hasty” he reached out and grabbed her wrist then started to close the distance between them “I'm sure we can find something for you my dear, why don't you come over to my house tonight so we can discuss in more detail?” 
   Jen felt herself deflate, she had been expecting this outcome but it still hurt her none the less, she could offer so much to people if they would just look beyond her vagina. 
   “What time would you like me to come over?” 
   “Come around after six” he answered “Colin has my address.” 
   Jen went to leave but he still had control of her wrist, he tugged it and pulled her up against him, moving his head so he could whisper in her ear “you do look very sexy now though I must say” then he licked around her ear lobe and down her neck. 
   Jen stood up straight as she felt his tongue move down towards the top of her chest. Colin had advised her to leave a few buttons of her shirt undone; as such a fair amount of cleavage was showing. She looked around and realised that all the curtains were closed. 
   As he reached her buttons, he looked up and smiled wolfishly “You think I didn't see what you were doing here? You must be gagging for it, you dirty whore” he stood up and turned her around “Why should I make you wait until later?” 
   He reached behind her and locked the door then started running his hands up her leg before turning her around again. She watched him closely as he moved he walked back to his seat behind his desk. He wasn't an old man around mid to late thirties however he was on the larger side, his hair was a dark blonde that was balding slightly but she could tell that when he was younger it had looked magnificent. She forced herself to look at his face, his eyes were a light green which sparkled with power, something she feared he had always had in his life and his mouth curved up into a smile that was sure to have come from the devil himself. In some circumstances he could look completely charming and in others like a monster. In this case it was the latter. 
   He saw her staring and his smile became even more wicked, she didn't dare move a muscle, if this is what she needed to do to get a job then so be it, she needed to have a way to support Caroline. 
   “Now Miss Gilmore” He finally murmured “Strip for me” 
   Jen was so taken by surprise it took her a moment to find her voice. “Pardon?” 
   “Did I stutter Miss Gilmore?” he snapped “I told you to strip for me, start with those silly stocking things you are wearing” 
   With shaking fingers Jen followed all of his demands until she was stood completely naked in front of him. He was really making this as bad as he could. 
   “Now Miss Gilmore I want you to come and sit on my lap” when she did as he instructed he grabbed her boob and began to suck and bite her nipple while roughly fondling the other with his hand. When he was done with this he shoved her to the floor violently, causing her to hurt her hip. 
   He undid he trousers and ordered her to arch her bum up, when she complied he slowly entered her bum. He then started thrusting in and out of her. She wanted to grip onto something but she didn't have anything except the floor, so she dug her finger nails into the carpet. After a few minutes he arched her bum up more so he was deeper inside, pushing her face to the ground. 
   After minutes of vigorous pounding he pulled out and began to lick and suck her bum hole. Jen felt tears roll down her face; it had been a few months since someone had been this rough with her. He grabbed her hips and used them as leverage to turn her around, when she groaned slightly at the pain he smiled again “Don't worry dear we aren't finished yet” 
   He grabbed his cock and ran it down her face and across her mouth, she opened her mouth instinctively and he shoved her cock inside it, grabbing the back of her head so he could thrust it deep inside her. He held tightly onto her hair. 
   She did her best to suck him well but she still must have done something wrong as with each thrust she found he was pulling her hair back and forth. “Oh fuck Miss Gilmore, your step father was right you are a dirty whore” 
   Jen was too busy trying not to choke on his cock to give any sort of reply, she moved her head back to the tip in an attempt to get some air but he didn't like that and moved her back with such force that her chin hit his balls. Her spit was all over the length of his cock, he stopped her sucking and ordered her to lick him clean. She began to lick as he moved her head down to his balls; she started to suck his balls. He moaned furiously, reaching over to spank her bottom and squeeze her boobs. 
   “Oh fuck me” He moaned as he pushed her back so she was laid on the floor he began to rub his cock as he came close to completion ordering her to play with her boobs as he did so, after a minute of this he came all over her body. 
   “Get your clothes and go” he ordered, she got dressed silently and went to leave “See you tonight at 7” he reminded her as she was leaving. 
   Jen rushed out of the office to the alley at the side of the building and started to cry, she touched her hip softly, the pain was quite bad now and she was going to have to do all of that again later? Well probably more than just later when he gives her the job and he would give her the job she was almost certain of it. 
   Jen sighed and composed herself, this was just the start of many things, she still had to get Caroline into school and ask Colin for help getting a deposit down for a flat, and she needed to keep strong for her daughter. 
     
   When she got home she found Colin sat in the kitchen. She frowned slightly; Colin usually lived in his study during the day. Jen quickly walked into the lounge and lay on the sofa. She just needed a few minutes to rest and prepare for that evening. However it seemed a rest would not be happening that day as the minute she closed her eyes she heard the door crash open. She opened her eyes and saw Colin breathing down at her. 
   “Colin I'm tired” she mumbled 
   “You think I care?” he snapped “how did it got today?” 
   “It was fine” Jen sighed “I need to go round his house later; you will need to give me the address” 
   “That's fine” Colin dismissed the answer with wave of his hand. 
   “Has mum called today?” she asked, her mum was on holiday with Caroline while Jen sorted out a job and Caroline's schooling 
   “Yes she said Caroline is fine and they are due back on the weekend” 
   Jen smiled warmly, she hated when Caroline was away, she missed her so much; it was like a part of her was missing. 
   “We will have to get you a flat soon” Colin grunted 
   Jen nodded, her mum had said she would help her out when finding a flat for her and Caroline “When mum is back I will start to look into it” 
   “That sounds like a good idea” 
   Jen felt Colin's hand on her leg and looked up, she groaned inwardly, she recognised the look in his eye, and he wouldn't leave without being satisfied. She grabbed onto his hand before reached her still sore hip. 
   “Colin” she signed “Can we not right now?” 
   His expression turned thunderous and Jen felt herself shrink back into the sofa. She made one last attempt at peace “I don't want to be too tired for later” 
   Colin seemed to accept this; he gave a short nod of approval but still continued to leer at her. He grabbed her hand and pulled so she was sat up “I need something Jennifer” 
   Jen nodded and moved her hands to Colin's belt, with trembling fingers she undid his belt. His hands reached up to grab onto her hair, she gasped slightly at the pain but carried on undressing him, once his cock was with her hands she started to slowly suck. Colin was perhaps bigger than all the men she had been with. 
   As she moved her mouth further down his cock she felt him go firmer and he forced her head further down his cock, her reflexes kicked in and she move her head to an angle so she wouldn’t gag. He started to thrust in her mouth making her eyes water; she could his groans getting more frenzied as each thrust got more aggressive. Jen felt as he pulled her off his cock and forced her to his knees. As soon as she knelt down he emptied himself onto her face, his semen dripping down into her mouth. 
   “There my dear” he leered pulling her hair so she was looking up at him “that wasn't so hard was it?” 
   Jen shook her head and started to stand up “I should probably start to get ready” 
   Colin finished doing his belt up and spanked her on the arse “I'll leave the address for you” with this he walked out of the room. Jen picked up a napkin from the side table and wiped Colin's sperm off her face. She looked in the mirror; she could feel her lower lip trembling. She collapsed back on the sofa and let the tears come. 
     
   The next day Jen gingerly got out of her bed and walked to the bathroom, as she looked in the mirror she felt herself wince. Mr Matthews had been rough with again the night before and she now had bruise running along her neck, a large blueish green mark running down to her chest bone. Each movement was a painful reminder of the life she had begun to lead. 
   It had started to get her down over the last few days, she knew it was all done in the best interest of her daughter but when Caroline was away it all crept back up on her and she felt dirty and ashamed. Every so often she thought about Phil and how much she had hurt him, and the words he had said to her. He had told her that she was always going to be like this, that she was always going to turn out to be a whore. 
   At least Jen had made sure that Caroline wasn't going to turn out the same way she would be going to the best school Jen could find, the same one she had been in for the last four years of her schooling and Jen knew that she would be able to persuade the head teacher to help her with the school fees. 
   Jen sighed as she looked in the mirror again and walked back into her bedroom, she got dressed quickly choosing to wear a turtle neck jumper, to cover up the bruise, and her denim skirt. As she walked down stairs she saw Colin in the kitchen, again a strange occurrence as she knew he would not be fucking her that day as she had to meet a business client in the evening. 
   “Colin good morning” she said smiling weakly as she entered the kitchen. 
   “A very good morning my dear” he was beaming, Jen got worried Colin never beamed “I heard from Mr Matthews you got the job.” 
   “Wonderful” she murmured. “What time does your business friend arrive today?” 
   “Seven o'clock and I expect you here ready to impress” 
   Jen shrugged again and nodded, she was always there on time and always impressed. 
   
   
   
   Chapter Six 
   Chapter Six 
   
   Jen is twenty-two, Eight year old Caroline is excelling in school and Jen is still doing everything she can to keep her there. 
   
     
   Jen walked back into work slowly and sat down at her desk. Caroline’s school fees were going up and she would have to fuck Mr Burton at least twice a week to keep up with them. She cringed at the thought and sighed sadly, Mr Matthews always made her pay when she got back from her lunch late. 
   She looked around; the sales team were looking her and laughing so she pulled a face a got back to work. It was an open secret that she was fucking Mr Matthews and Sean and Ryan did everything they could to remind her that they knew. 
   Last time she was late they made sure to tell Mr Matthews and he made her suffer for not telling him herself. 
   She moved back to her work and sighed. Once again the sales team hadn’t given her their weekly states. This meant that she would be late getting the report to Mr Matthews, who always delighted in punishing her. 
   She walked over to them, Sean had gone on lunch but she could see Ran leering at her. “How can I help, darling?” he asked when she got there. 
   Jen stopped herself from shuddering. Ryan was in his mid to late thirties and had shocking blonde hair. His eyes always held a sparkle of something that terrified her, and from what she knew he treated women badly. 
   “Ryan” she smiled thinly “your sales figures are late.” 
   “Oh are they?” Ryan leaned back in his chair “that’s a shame, Sean was in charge of them this week and he won’t be back for an hour.” 
   She sighed; Sean had been in charge the previous week as well. “Please just send them to me when he gets back.” 
   “I can only pass on the message to Sean” he smiled. 
   “Ryan-” she started. 
   “Miss Gilmore” a voice boomed. 
   Jen turned around shakily and looked at Mr Matthews “Yes, sir?” 
   “My office, now!” He ordered before walking into his office. Jen reluctantly followed. 
   He was sat at his desk assessing her as she walked in. Once she was fully in the room, he stood up and locked the door behind her, breathing on her neck in the process, causing her to shiver. 
   He shut the blinds then turned to her “since when do we take ninety minute lunch breaks?” 
   “I’m sorry, Mr Matthews, my meeting over ran.” 
   “And you are badgering our sales team again?” 
   “They are late with their figures.” She explained. 
   “Perhaps if you were more efficient then they would get them to you.” He murmured. 
   Jen thought that her efficiency had nothing to do with whether they got their figures to her on time or not but she held her tongue. Mr Matthews had a sadistic twinkle in his eye and she didn’t much relish the thought of explaining another bruise to Caroline. Mr Matthews was the roughest of all the men she had never been with and she did her best not to make him angry. Many men had slapped or bitten her too hard during sex but with Matthews it was different. He thrived on rough play and had no problem hitting her even when they weren’t fucking. She had more than once gone home with a bloody lip after upsetting him. 
   The worst thing was that there was nothing she could do about it; she needed the money and the job so she had to put up with it. Unlike her co-workers she had never been given a salary increase, yet the cost of living was rising. She hated herself for getting into this mess. If she had just showed Phil how much she loved him and resisted sleeping with his friends then she would be happily married by now. Instead her life had become a circle of turmoil. She had been actively having sex for nearly ten years and yet she didn’t find any enjoyment from the act. Maybe if she did then it would make her life more bearable but every time she was with someone she just felt cheap. 
   She glanced up at Mr. Matthews “I am sorry I was late sir, I will stay late tonight to make up the time.” 
   He seemed to dismiss her words with a flick of a hand. She knew that he knew she would stay late whether she offered or not. She was too afraid of him to do anything that might be classed as defiance. 
   “Where is my report for this week?” he asked. 
   “As I said sir, the sales team are late getting me their figures and-” 
   Her words were stopped as his fist connected with her side. The surprise of the blow caught her off guard and she dropped to the floor, clenching her fists against the pain. 
   “You will not talk back to me, girl” Matthews thundered, he walked over and picked her up by her hair. She grunted in surprise as he pulled her back up to her feet “you will get me the report by the end of the day, do I make myself clear?” 
   She knew that if she didn’t have the report by the end of the day she would be in even more trouble but she nodded anyway. She needed to get out of the office and attend to her side. 
   He let go of her hair and pushed her against the locked door. Jen stiffened as he began to kiss her neck. While the office knew that he fucked her he had never done it during work hours before, it was perhaps the only gentlemanly thing he had done for her. She tried to wiggle free but he held her firm with his portly body. 
   Jen sighed softly and relented to his advances. It was what was expected of her, after all. 
                      
   Later that evening, Jen gingerly got into the bath. After close examination she had seen that her side was bruised badly from her the top of her bum to her belly button. She sighed sadly as she moved further into the water. She had always found water to be oddly calming and she always enjoyed her evening bath. It made her feel clean and innocent, if only for half an hour, and it let her dream that maybe she could have a better life. 
   Mr. Matthews had been fuming when she had still been unable to give him the sales report at the end of the day but what else could she do? She begged and pleaded with Sean and Ryan every Friday for it to be given to her on time and each Monday she had nothing. Matthews had suggested that she be nicer to them, she knew what he meant but had no intention of stooping so low. 
   She had to sleep with Matthews for the sake of her job, but she didn’t to fuck around with everyone. Her ears picked up sounds of Caroline getting out of bed to use the toilet. Jen poked her head around the shower curtain just as she walked into the bathroom. 
   Jen could not forget who she was doing this for. It was all so Caroline could get a better start in life, the start that Jen had been denied. Phil had said that she had been destined to live the life of a whore. Something that she had decided, however subconsciously, when she had let Mr. Turner fuck her on Phil ’s sofa, all those years ago. 
   She had thought at the time that she had been doing the right thing but over the years, she realised the truth. She had given herself to numerous men, more than she liked to count, and she now knew that Phil was correct. Her start in life had led her to be predisposed to the life of a slut. That was what everyone called her when they fucked her and that was what she was. 
   At one time she had had dreams of weddings and children, more children, growing up in a household full of love and care. She knew that these dreams were about as worthless and she was. She had ruined any chance of true love when she had let someone, other than Phil , fuck her. 
   She blinked herself back into the present and waved at her daughter, all of Caroline’s school reports mark her to be the best in her class in most subjects and her eyes always held a sparkle of intelligence. 
   “Mum, I need more books.” Caroline declared. 
   Jen shook her head affectionately “more books? We just bought a load last week.” 
   “But I read them all, please can we get more over the weekend mum” she asked “please.” 
   Jen nodded “Maybe, now go to bed and we will talk in the morning.” 
   Caroline’s face erupted into a smile “‘maybe’ always means ‘yes’ whoopee more books.” 
   Jen laughed as Caroline ran out of the room but inside her stomach was tying itself into knots. She would have to ask Colin for money, not something she liked doing but her a lot of her wages had been spent on new uniform. She would be seeing him that Thursday anyway, as her mother took Caroline for dinner and she stayed with him. They would either fuck on these occasions or she would ‘entertain’ his busy clients. 
   She slid down into the bath until the water rested against her chin, how easy would it be for her to put her head under? Easy enough, but she had a daughter to think about, and she would not let herself take the easy way out. 
   She had never seriously considered suicide but it did pop into her mind when she was feeling particularly low. She knew that she would never go through with it though; she had to be strong for her daughter. Caroline was the only thing that kept her going in life. 
   She had fPhil in love with her the moment she had been placed in Jen’s arms. She had stroked her hair and kissed the top of her head. Her mum and Colin had tried to take her but Jen had held firm, possibly the only time she had defied Colin, not wanting to miss out on a second. 
   Later, when they had been left alone, Jen had made a promise to her sleeping daughter. She had promised that whatever happened she would never let Caroline make the same mistakes she had. Jen would make sure that she was loved and cherished. Caroline would grow up knowing that people would notice if she didn’t come home from school on time. Jen would notice if anything happened to her and would protect her from the evils in the world. 
   Jen often thought about Phil and what he was doing. She didn’t even know if he still lived in the area, as she daren’t go near his house, but she hoped that he was all right. 
   She hated how she had hurt him. She hated how she hadn’t been able to deny her ultimate fate. Jen went over the course of events that was their relationship at least once every few days, still trying to work out what had happened. Whatever reasons she had given herself at the time for fucking around while she was with Phil no longer made sense. All she saw was the dirty whore that he had seen at the end of their relationship. 
   She got out of the bath and once again examined her hip, it looked worse than it had before getting in. 
   She walked into her bedroom and got into bed, letting out an involuntary sob as she did so. 
   
   
   
   Chapter Seven 
   Chapter Seven 
   
   Jen is twenty seven years old and is about to meet someone who will change her life forever, again.  
   
     
   She was running too fast, she knew she was, but Caroline had been late which meant that she was late. She was due to give someone an office tour and Mr Matthews would have her guts for garters if she was late for it. 
   Jen got to the office with five minutes to spare, she took a long breath in the hope it would ease the stitch in her side. She would have to explain how mornings work to Caroline again. 
   A quick glance around her office told her that the sales team hadn’t yet arrived but she could see Mr Matthews in his office. He caught her eye and smiled leeringly. Since she had started working form him, nine longs years ago, he had become more and more abusive with his power. He hit her and mentally tortured her just because he could. 
   He knew that while she worked for him he could treat her how he wanted and she knew that he could stop her from getting a job elsewhere. 
   She stood and walked to Mr Matthews’s office; she knocked on the door and waited for permission to enter. Once inside she tried her best to stay in the door frame so he couldn’t delay her exit. 
   “Well Miss Gilmore” he sneered “you will be on your best behaviour today?” 
   She nodded “I am looking forward to meeting the new team member.” 
   “You will hardly work with him” Matthews dismissed “he will be working with the sale team.” 
   Jen smiled, that was what she wanted. She hoped that this man would be an ally to her against Sean and Ryan. She saw Matthew’s glaring and quickly switched off her smile. 
   Matthews stood up and walked towards her “I want you stay late tonight.” 
   She inwardly groaned, she knew what that meant, and she had no one to watch Caroline. She would have to call her mother. 
   “I will have to get someone to watch Caroline.” She murmured “I will see what I can do.” 
   Matthews kissed her “Make the call.” 
     
   “Hi, excuse me?” 
   Jen looked up from her reports and found herself face to face with the most handsome man she had ever seen. His hair was a warm chestnut and he had ice blue eyes that sparkled with warmth. His face, which was perhaps averagely attractive, became beautiful by the soft kindness of his features. 
   “Hello” she smiled “how can I help?” 
   “I’m William Godfrey” he answered. 
   She blinked, Godfrey? Oh, of course, the new man, Jen stood up and held out her hand “Lovely to meet you, I’m Jennifer Gilmore, Mr Matthew’s assistant.” 
   “Lovely to meet you” he murmured and to Jen’s surprise he sounded genuine. 
   She coughed in an attempt to ease her beating heart and motioned around the room “well this is the office” she pointed to a group of people in the left hand corner “that’s Daniel, Chantelle and Zoe, they’re the marketing team, they work under Mark, who is on holiday.” She walked him over to Sean and Ryan “this is the rest of the sales team, you work under Mr Matthews and report your figures me to me.” She turned to the boys “which reminds me; you are late with the report again this week.” 
   “Opps” Sean muttered “was meant to do that for you, weren’t we Ryan?” 
   Ryan nodded “yeah that’s right.” 
   Jen breathed in slowly to avoid letting her anger show, she had to keep her head in front of the new man. She looked at him and found that he was regarding her with interest. She found his gaze uncomfortable and looked away. 
   “If you can get it to me by the end of the day” she murmured before turning back to William “well that’s everyone. As I said I’m Jennifer Gilmore and I work under-” 
   “Just about everyone” Ryan interrupted before laughing with Sean at his joke. 
   Jen felt a strange anger fuel inside her and before she knew what she was doing, she snapped “well I have never worked under you.” She bit her lip as she realised what she had done. Ryan stood up and walked to her, bringing his body as close to hers as he could. He leaned down and kissed her cheek “if you want that report you had better be nice to me” he whispered. 
   Jen coughed discreetly and pulled herself away from Ryan. She turned to William and nodded politely before walking back to her desk. 
     
   Will watched Miss Gilmore walk back to her desk and then turned to his new colleagues. The way they had treated her had been abominable. She was a beautiful, young woman and they had acted like she was just a piece of meat. 
   “What is the report she needs?” he demanded. 
   Ryan and Sean raised their eyebrows “the weekly sales figures” Sean replied “she will need them for just after lunch time to send the regional report by close of business and Mr Matthews will want the office report.” 
   “So you haven’t done it?” Will asked. 
   “We’ve done it” Ryan answered “we just haven’t sent it to her. That way Mr Matthews will have to tell her off.” 
   “I beg your pardon?” Will asked, sure he had misheard, why would they want her in trouble. 
   “Ah I see” Ryan nodded “you don’t know about her, she isn’t someone you need to worry about, she’s just a whore. Mr. Matthews will shag her and that will make them both happy. We do it for her really.” 
   Will blinked and looked back at the Miss Gilmore, he had thought he had seen sadness in her eyes but he hadn’t been able to make out why. Now he knew a little more and things started to become clear. He watched as she was beckoned into the office of Mr. Matthews and noticed the fear that crossed her face. That was when he decided that he needed to be her friend. 
     
   Jen winced as she left the office and sat down at her desk. She looked down at her knuckles, which were blooded and bruised after Matthews had trapped them in a draw. She knew that she needed to wrap a bandage around them but she knew that Matthews was watching her so she put on a brave face. Why did he have to hurt her so? He was brutal enough when they had sex let alone when they didn’t. 
   He had been furious with her when she had told him that she couldn’t stay at work any later than normal and had decided to fuck her there. Once they were finished he had taken her hand and slammed in it in the drawer, he had said that she would think twice before defying him in future. 
   “Miss Gilmore?” She looked up, William smiled down at her “hello, Mr. Godfrey, how can I help?” 
   “I wondered if you could show me somewhere to get lunch” he replied “you see I’m new to area.” 
   She glanced at the time, half past twelve, she would have to leave to see Caroline’s head teacher soon. 
   She looked back to William “there is a nice café just down the road; they do the most amazing sandwiches. If you can wait ten minutes then I’ll show you.” 
   William nodded and waited while she got herself ready for lunch. She hoped that she would be able to grab something to eat after seeing Mr. Burton. She usually had fifteen minutes to spare, which gave her ample time to get something, but recently he had started to delay her, meaning she usually had to skip lunch. 
   They left the office and walked up the street. Jen felt her hands get sweaty and she realised that her heart was beating faster than usual. Something inside of her had awakened and she didn’t know how to act. William had spent time with Ryan and Sean so he was sure to know what she was like but she for some reason care. 
   They arrived at the café “this is the place” she smiled “try the ham and cheese, it’s amazing.” 
   He put his hand on her arm “won’t you stay and get something with me?” 
   “I wish I could Mr. Godfrey but I have a thing.” 
   “Call me Will” he murmured. 
   She blinked, his voice was laced with kindness and she felt something inside of her wobble. It had been a long time since someone, other than Caroline, had been kind to her. Maybe he was different to the other men she had met. 
   “Thank you Will, you can call me Jen.” She smiled “we will eat at another time I am sure but I have a meeting at my daughter’s school.” 
   His shock was visible straight away “I didn’t realise you were a mum, how old is she?” “Thirteen” Jen replied. 
   “I see.” He murmured but his face told her that he didn’t see. His eyes had glassed over and his mouth was twisted and she knew that he pitied her. The silence that descended over them was awkward and ugly, and all Jen could do was stare at the pity in his eyes. She moved her head away, in fear that he would read more in her than she wanted him to, and took a step back. “Well I had better be going to my appointment.” 
   “Jen” he started. 
   “No, it’s fine” she murmured, surprised by the catch in her voice. “I need to go.” 
   Before he could reply she had rushed off in the direction of Caroline’s school. 
     
   An hour later, Jen walked unsteadily back into the office. Burton had been rough with her and she had hurt her ankle in the process. As she got to her desk she saw that a takeaway bag had been placed on top of it. She blinked and looked at the note that had been taped on the bag. 
     
   
   Jen,  
   
   
   Sorry about before you just took me by surprise, I hope we can still be friends?  
   
   
   Will x 
   
   
   p.s. enjoy the Sandwich. 
   
     
   She looked inside the bag and saw one of the ham and cheese sandwiches from the café. She smiled to herself, as predicted she had not been able to grab food on her way back. 
   She looked over towards the sales team and saw him working at his desk; he looked up, smiled and mouthed “check your email.” 
   She quickly did as he asked and saw a message from him containing the weekly sales report. It was the first time in nine years that it had actually been sent to her on time. 
   She clicked to reply to the email and wrote: 
   
     
   
   
   To Will,  
   
   
   Thank you so much, for the report and the lunch. 
   
   
   Talk soon,  
   
   
   Jen  
   
   
   
   
   Chapter Eight 
   Chapter Eight 
   
   Jen has just turned twenty eight, Caroline continues to excel in school and Jen’s friendship with Will continues to blossom.  
   
   
     
   
   Jen smiled as she walked into the office. Since Will had started, six months prior, she no longer felt so nervous when going to work. He had become her friend and she knew that while he was there she would be all right. Mr. Matthews continued to be abusive to her but with Will to talk to it didn’t seem as bad. 
   She arrived earlier than usual so she had time to go over her holiday entitlement. Caroline was desperate to go on holiday over the Easter break but Jen knew that it wouldn’t be likely. Each year she got whatever days were left after everyone else had taken their holiday. She always gave her dates first but Mr. Matthew’s would pretend to lose them then blame her for the mistake. 
   Jen’s mum usually took Caroline away but now she was older, Caroline wanted Jen. Jen wouldn’t have minded a holiday herself, as she hadn’t been on one in over a decade, but she knew she had to do what she could to hold on to her job. 
   Out of curiosity, she began to look at holiday parks close by and the cost of them over the Easter break. As expected they were high in price but her savings were more than enough to cover it. 
   “Morning Jen.” 
   She looked up at the familiar voice and smiled “good morning Will, how are you doing?” “I’m fine thank you” he pointed to her computer screen “planning a holiday?” 
   She winced sheepishly “afraid not, I wouldn’t be able to get the time off even if I wanted to.” 
   “How come?” he asked “no one else has holiday for that week.” 
   “They don’t?” she asked “Mr. Matthews told me that they did.” 
   “Didn’t you double check the holiday calendar?” 
   “I don’t have access to it” she admitted “Mr. Matthews hasn’t given me the right permission for it or something like that.” 
   Will frowned, it hadn’t taken him long to see that Mr. Matthews was a sadistic boss who liked to abuse his power. Will had noticed that Matthews held some sort of power over Jen and he used it frequently. The whole office knew that she was sleeping with Matthews but Will wasn’t sure how much she enjoyed it. Each time she left his office she always rushed straight off to the loo and Will had seen bruises on her more than once. 
   It wouldn’t have surprised him in the least if Matthews was holding back holiday information so she missed out. 
   “Let me log in” he murmured. 
   Although his order had been a gentle one, Will noticed that Jen jumped out of her seat extraordinarily quickly. Almost like she was afraid of what would happen if she didn’t obey fast enough 
   He quickly pulled up the joint holiday calendar that was shared by everyone in the office, except Jen, and glanced at her week of interest. As suspected the whole of the Easter break was free. 
   “You could take it if you wanted” he confirmed. 
   She shook her head “Matthews would never agree to let me have it.” 
   Will thought for a moment “after lunch we will ask him together.” 
     
   As arrange the two of them knocked on Matthew’s office door after lunch. Jen felt her stomach twist and she was sure that she would be sick at any moment. She tried to turn around but Will held firm, she looked at the determination on his face and found the courage she needed. 
   “Come in” came Matthews’ sharp order. 
   Slowly Jen opened the door and entered the office, Will following close behind, Matthews hadn’t looked up from his papers show she let out a small cough. 
   He gave her the smallest of glances “Yes, Miss Gilmore, what do you want?” 
   “Well sir” she began “I was wondering if I could request some holiday for Easter?” 
   “A bit late, aren’t you?” he asked. 
   “Well sir, I did give you my requests but I never heard anything back from you and-” 
   His fist hit the desk cutting her off. She let out an involuntary yelp and took a step back. She had had enough dealings with Matthews to know what would happen next. 
   “Are you or are you not late with your holiday request Miss Gilmore?” he roared. 
   She started to nod but then she heard Will’s voice ring out. “As she was trying to explain to your Mr. Matthews, she did make the request and didn’t hear back, I can see that the week she wants is clear on the holiday calendar, can we assume that is because Miss Gilmore’s request was authorised?” 
   Jen’s eyes widened, no one spoke to Mr. Matthews that way. She watched as Matthews rose from his seat “what brings you here Godfrey?” 
   “I offered to accompany Jen as I understand there has been some dispute in the past about what holiday she had asked for.” 
   Matthews raised his eyebrows “is that so?” 
   Will nodded. “Yes, I thought it would be wise for her to have a witness, just in case there is ever a need for clarification in the future. So is she able to take time of over the Easter break or not? As I said the whole two weeks is open on our calendar.” 
   Matthews sat speechless for a moment and then nodded “take whatever time off over Easter that you want Miss Gilmore.” 
   Jen blinked, it had worked. Will had helped her get the holiday that she wanted. She had worked for Matthews for nearly ten years and that had never happened before. “Thank you very much sir.” 
   They turned to leave but Matthews called her back, she should have known that it wouldn’t have been so easy. Of course he would need to have revenge for Will’s power trip. 
   Will looked at her questioningly but she told him to leave. She knew what would happen and if he stuck around then Matthews would punish him as well. 
   “Sir?” she asked once they were alone. 
   “He is a nice boy isn’t he?” Matthews murmured. 
   “Indeed sir” she replied curious about the choice of topic “I like him very much.” 
   Matthews stood and pushed her against the closed office door “don’t start getting any funny ideas my girl. He will never be interested in a dirty slut like you. I’m not sure what you have done to make him like you so much but once he sees the real you then he won’t be interested.” 
   Jen flinched at the harshness of his words. He was right, Will was better than her. Will was kind and caring and Jen knew that she didn’t deserve it. 
   She looked at Matthews hopefully, silently pleading with him to not get more violent with her. As expected her silent pleads were unanswered and he tossed her to the floor with a brutal laugh. 
   Jen looked at the corner of the ceiling and pretended that something else was happening. 
     
   Fifteen minutes later, Will watched as Jen rushed out of Matthews’ office and straight to the toilets. He stood and followed her. She was crying in the communal washing area and he noticed bruising around her eyes. 
   “I should have known” she sobbed. 
   “Should have known what?” he asked. 
   “That it wasn’t going to be easy, good things don’t happen to people like me.” 
   “What do you mean ‘people like you’?” 
   She sniffed “I’m dirty and awful and I don’t deserve good things. I know how you all look at me. I know what I said behind my back. I never used to be this way, or maybe I did. I don’t know.” 
   “You aren’t dirty” Will murmured, “you are beautiful.” 
   She shook her head “I was always supposed to turn out this way, that’s what Phil said.” 
   “Who’s Phil?” She was also so careful not to divulge any information about her past. Will was desperate to know what had made her turn to her current way in life. Was Phil the father of her daughter? Did he hold the answers? 
   “He’s no one” Jen replied “just someone I hurt a long time ago. He told me that I would end up this way and he was right. I am good for nothing else but Caroline, she will be better than me, I’m making sure of it.” 
   He waited for her to compose herself in the hope that he might learn more but alas, once she was ready she started to walk back to the office. 
   He couldn’t let it end that way. He knew that she was worth more than she thought “Jen.” 
   She turned around “Yes?” 
   “Would you like to go for dinner tonight?” 
   She began to shake her head, for she knew that she shouldn’t get too close to him, but something stopped her. 
   She knew that they couldn’t have a future together as lovers but there was no reason that they couldn’t be friends. She would have to make sure that he didn’t get any false expectations from her. The last thing she wanted was for someone else to get hurt by her. 
   “I will have to ask my mother to look after Caroline.” 
   Will smiled “only if it’s not an inconvenience?” 
   Jen sighed to herself, every time she asked her mother to watch Caroline it was an inconvenience. Her mum was still having problems with her sleeping pills but always stayed clean when she watching Caroline. That didn’t stop her from moaning to Jen about it though. Jen would have to make sure that her mum didn’t have any other plans for that night. Colin would be in the house but Caroline knew that she wasn’t allowed to be alone with him. Jen had made that rule a long time ago. 
   She turned to Will and smiled “I will see what I can do and let you know.” 
   
   
   
   Chapter Nine 
     Please note Gareths name has changed from Allen to Phil  
     
   Chapter Nine 
   
   Two months later, Jen and Will have been going on friend dates nearly every week but she is reluctant to let it get too far.  
   
   
     
   
   Jen sighed happily as she cleaned her kitchen work top. Things had been improving at work and her friendship with Will was blossoming well. He had even started chaperoning her, whenever possible, during her visits to see Mr. Matthews. 
   “What are you smiling about?” 
   Jen looked up as Caroline entered the room and sat down on one of the stools by the counter. Caroline had just turned fourteen and was looking more beautiful every day. The older she became the more thankful Jen was that she had given her daughter the best start in life. 
   Jen might not be completely happy but at least Caroline would be all right. That was all Jen could ask for. 
   “I’m not smiling about anything” Jen finally replied. 
   “Yes you are, mum” Caroline argued “are you thinking about your friend Will?” 
   Caroline had seen Will walk Jen home at the end of the last week and had been incessant with questions about him. Jen had tried to be as honest as possible but some of the questions had been hard to answer. 
   “It’s not about Will” Jen lied. 
   “Mum, I don’t mind if you want a boyfriend” Caroline smiled “I think it would be nice.” 
   “Will is not my boyfriend” Jen replied. 
   “I know” Caroline shook her head “but he could be, if you wanted him to be, do you want him to be?” Jen stopped cleaning for a moment; did she want to be with him? She knew the answer, yes she did but she also knew she couldn’t be with him. She had been tainted by her relationship with Phil and she knew that she wasn’t good enough for anyone else. The only thing she was good at was fucking and she doubted that he would be happy with just that. She hadn’t been able to ignore the glints in his eyes and the meaning behind his words. Jen knew that he wanted to be with her but she couldn’t let herself fall for him. She needed to be strong and resist. He was a good man and the last thing he needed was to be paired with a slut like her. 
   She had hurt Phil and if she wasn’t careful then she would hurt Will as well. She would have to try and cut their friendship down to bare the minimum. It was the only way to avoid him pain. 
     
   The next day at work Jen did all she could to avoid Will but as lunch time came around he managed to find her. 
   “Want to eat something?” He asked as he walked up to her desk. 
   Jen quickly looked towards Mr. Matthews’ office. He had been noticing her friendship with Will and had expressed upset with it. If she upset him then she would find herself out of a job and then what would she do? 
   She shook her head “I need to work through some stuff, I’m sorry.” 
   He nodded sadly “does Matthews need to speak with you?” 
   She leaned back “don’t speak so loud.” 
   Will blinked, why was she being shy? Everyone knew that she and Mr. Matthews were fucking. What was wrong with her? 
   “I’m sorry” he murmured. 
   Jen looked down, she knew that she shouldn’t be so embarrassed by his words. Everyone knew what happened when she was called into Matthews’ office but there was something about him saying it that made her feel dirty. She knew she was a slut but she somehow she didn’t like Will knowing it. 
   He was all that was good and kind and she couldn’t risk hurting him like she hurt Phil. 
   “I need to get back to work” she murmured, inwardly wincing as he lurched back at her sharp tone. She had to hurt him. For his sake she had to distance herself. 
   Will blinked, what had happened? Before the weekend they had been fine and now she was behaving like they had never spoken. Had he done something to displease her? 
   “Can I help you with it?” he asked. 
   She shook her head “I had better not get any help, Matthews wouldn’t like it.” 
   Will looked towards Matthews’ office and scowled. The man always seemed to bully Jen whatever chance he got and Will was fed up. He wanted to start looking for another job but he was loath to leave her on her own with Matthews. 
   “Let me take you out tonight” he murmured. 
   She blinked “tonight?” 
   “Or if you don’t have childcare I will cook for you at home. I just want to talk.” 
   Against her extreme better judgment, Jen felt herself nod “that would be lovely, we can go back straight after work.” 
     
   Later that evening Jen and Will arrived back at her house at around six. They decided to have a takeaway instead of cooking, something which delighted Caroline, and they both sat on the sofa as they decided what they wanted. 
   “Mum, can we please get pizza?” Caroline begged “you know it’s my favourite.” 
   Jen smiled at Will “do you like pizza?” 
   “It’s actually my favourite too” he replied. 
   “Yes!” Caroline cheered “pizza! I’ll be in my room, let me know when it’s here.” 
   Jen laughed as she watched Caroline rush out of the room “well that’s been decided then.” 
   “You have a great relationship with her” Will murmured, “you must be happy.” Jen nodded “well it’s always been just me and her so we are close.” 
   “What about the father?” Will asked before he could think the better of it. He knew it was a personal question but he couldn’t help himself, he wanted to know everything about Jen. 
   Jen stood and picked up the phone “we broke up before Caroline was born, he hasn’t met her.” 
   Will waited while Jen ordered the pizza. Why had they broken up? Had it been because of the pregnancy? He needed to know. 
   “Why did you break up?” He asked once she was finished on the phone. 
   Jen winced “can we talk about something else?” 
   Will nodded “forgive me, please; I just wanted to know more about your life.” 
   “Why?” she asked. 
   “Because we are friends” he replied. 
   Jen sighed; maybe she should tell him what happened. It might deter him for getting too close to her if he knew the truth about her, if he saw how much she had hurt Phil. 
   She closed the door and sat back down on the sofa “I was thirteen and I met someone, Phil, he was lovely and kind and sweet and he loved me.” 
   Will’s alerts lit up at her words, he could see what was coming. It was odd and strange but he knew that once she was finished he would see a new side to her, a side that he would love. 
   “He took me out every day” she continued “well I mean after a time we became intimate and we stopped going out but we still saw each other. One day he said he needed me to please one of his friends. I thought it would just be a blow job but his friend fucked me.” 
   Jen looked at Will’s face but she wasn’t able to read his expression, maybe he would see her for what she was and leave her alone. It was what she wanted but it still made her feel hollow inside. After everything she still craved love, she needed it, she was only human, but she couldn’t have it. She had been given a chance at love and she had ruined it. 
   “I’m not sure how it happened now but when I told Phil he said that it was good. Soon Colin, my stepfather, knew and he said I had to fuck him to keep him silent. Phil knew about it but didn’t say anything. When I got pregnant I told Phil but he didn’t want it, he said I had hurt him by fucking around with all different people. He said that it was because I was from a state school.” 
   Will nodded, suddenly her desire to put Caroline in a good school became clear. She blamed herself for what had happened and yet he could see that she had been exploited. How could he convince her that she wasn’t dirty? 
   “I know you are shocked” Jen murmured “if you want to go then I understand.” 
   Will took of her hand “I will stay if you don’t mind?” 
   Jen shook her head “no, that’s fine.” Why did he want to stay? Hadn’t he heard what she had said? She was dirty and nothing, who would want to know someone like her? 
     
   “You have a past” Will murmured, unconsciously answering her question “who doesn’t?” Jen nodded, she knew he was right but it didn’t little to make her feel better. She would always be tainted by her past; it would always hang over her like a black cloud. She didn’t know how to stop it. 
     
   Later that night, after Caroline had gone to bed, Will stood up and walked over to the kitchen to put the plates into the sink. Jen had dozed off on the sofa but she opened her eyes at clanking sound. 
   “Will?” 
   “Just cleaning up” he murmured, smiling at the slut in her voice. They had found two bottles of wine and had drunk them both. 
   “You should stay here” she murmured “it’s late.” 
   Will blinked “Jen, I’m not sure that me and you sleeping together is a good idea.” 
   She winced, of course that would be his first thought. She touched her forehead, it was woozy and light. She didn’t usually drink much so she wasn’t used to such a high level of alcohol. 
   “I meant on the sofa” she replied. 
   Will nodded; of course that was what she had meant. How foolish was he? They were friends. Maybe he wanted more but she obviously had things to work through before that could happen. 
   “Thank you” he murmured. 
   She stood up unsteadily and waved at sink “I will do them tomorrow, don’t worry about them.” 
   “All right” he smiled, he walked to her and kissed on her the cheek. 
   She turned her head and kiss him again but on the lips “you are lovely.” 
   He pulled her to him and kissed her deeper, his tongue entered her mouth and he did all he could to make it good for her. He teased her tongue with his and smiled as he heard her moan. 
   Her hand moved to his head and she stroked his hair softly. He hardened immediately and pushed her against the closed door. She moaned softly and pulled him closer to her. 
   Jen blinked at her actions, she didn’t know what she was doing but he made her feel good and she wanted the good to continue. 
   “Wait” he order as he gentle pulled down her trousers and panties. 
   “Will?” she asked. 
   “It’s all right” he replied. 
   He guided her back to the sofa and opened her legs out. Once she was exposed he moved his mouth to her vagina and started licking. With each lick she felt something inside of her grow, she had never enjoyed sex before but with Will it was different. With Will everything seemed to be different. Where everyone else had been fast and rough, Will was slow and soft. 
   Each time he made a movement it was like a small electric shock went up her legs to her belly and she knew it was growing into something fantastic. She moaned and begged for more, she needed to know what was at the end, she needed to feel what it was like to orgasm. She needed him to show her what it was like to be loved. 
   After ten minutes of him licking and teasing her, the feeling in her stomach became overwhelming. Just as she thought she wouldn’t be able to take anymore of torture her whole world exploded. She found herself transported to the ceiling as she floated back down to her body. 
   Will grinned as he watched Jen regain her posture. He had never been too good at oral so he was glad that he had been able to make her orgasm. He took her hand and helped her to her bedroom. 
   “Will, you are amazing” she whispered “’you must really love me.” 
   He blinked at her words as he picked up her trousers and panties and replied truthfully “yes I do love you Jen.” 
   She nodded as he put her into bed as she sleepily turned to her side he heard her murmured “I do know you know.” 
   “What do you know?” he asked. 
   “I know that I’m not to blame” she yawned “I know that all the stuff that happened, wasn’t my fault.” 
   Will nodded and closed the door quietly. He walked back and into the lounge and wondered if she even realised what she had just revealed. 
   
   
   
   Chapter Ten 
     
   Chapter Ten 
   
   The next morning and Jen is about to wake up to reality.  
   
   
     
   
   He had his hands in her hair and was pulling softly. Jen moaned to herself and moved closer to his body. He was firm, just as she had remembered, and he was strong. He pulled her closer and pulled harder on her hair, Jen stopped moaning and winced with pain. 
   She looked up with confused eyes and saw him smile dangerously. Her heart sank as she realised she had misunderstood what he wanted. She should have known better than to expect love. 
   He pushed her down onto the bed and immediately covered her body with his. She didn’t try to move away as she knew better than that. She knew what she had to do. 
   He kissed her neck and moved his hands along her legs until he reached her pussy. She winces as his fingers prodded and probed at her clitoris. He had always been rough with her. 
   Slowly he moved his cock to her entrance and started to thrust inside her. Each movement he made caused her more pain and all she wanted was for it to stop. 
   “What are you doing?” he grunted. 
   She blinked as she realised that she had been pushing at his chest. 
   “Stop” he moaned as he hit her face. 
   She shook her head, she didn’t want it. She wanted him to stop. She pushed at him again with more force and he moved off her. She sighed with relief until he grabbed her hair and moved her mouth to his cock. Before she could do anything, his cock was deep in her mouth. He was so deep that she began to gag from it. 
   She narrowed her eyes; she didn’t want to comply to him anymore. She pushed him away and moved to the other side of the room. 
   “What are you doing?” He gasped. 
   She shook her head “I don’t want this.” 
   “I don’t care what you want” he growled. He started to walk towards her and- 
   Jen woke up with a start and blinked. It wasn’t the first time she had had a dream like that but it was the first time she had refused the person in it. What did that mean? She was used to complying with what men wanted, in her dreams and in life, it was all she knew. 
   Phil had made it clear that she wouldn’t amount to anything more than being a slut. She had spent her whole adult life living up to that, why should her subconscious changed things now? 
   She blinked as fuzzy memories of the night before played in her mind and groaned. She had let Will give her oral sex, what had she been thinking? She was supposed to be keeping her distance. Jen couldn’t stop a small smile from spreading as she remembered what he had made her feel. She had had her first orgasm and it had been fantastic. She wanted more but she wasn’t sure how she could. 
   She glanced at the clock and got out of bed. She needed to sort out Caroline’s breakfast and she would have to make something for Will as well. 
   She quietly walked into the kitchen and picked up the empty wine bottle from the sink. She winced, no wonder she had let her guard down, how much had she drank the night before? 
   More memories filtered thought and she sat down in shock as she remembered what Will had told her the night before. Will loved her? She shook her head, she must have misunderstood him. 
   She heard him stir from the sofa and sit up, he grinned at her boyishly “morning Jen.” She smiled “Morning, how you feeling?” 
   “Dreadful” he replied “I’m not much of a wine drinker, I might pull a sicky off work.” “You can’t do that” Jen murmured. 
   “Of course I can” Will replied as stood up “and you can too if you want.” 
   Jen did want to but she couldn’t upset Matthews, what would happen if he found out that she had spent the day with Will? He would make sure she was punished and he was already violent enough. 
   She shook her head “I can’t, he would know right away. I have never had a sick day.” 
   “Never?” Will asked. 
   “I always just go in when I’m sick” Jen admitted, only just realising how foolish she sounded. Why had she never taken a sick day? She had never been truly sick at work, except that time she had had food poisoning. She had spent more time in the loo than she had at her desk but she has still shown up. Matthew’s would have had her guts for garters if she hadn’t. 
   Jen frowned, what had happened to her? At one time she had been brave and strong. She had stood up for herself and she hadn’t been scared to take risks, when had that changed? It wasn’t the first time she had thought about who she used to be. She usually put pin pointed the moment of change to the moment she found out she was pregnant but she knew it was earlier than that. 
   The moment she had become weak had been the moment she had let Mr. Turner fuck her on Phil’s sofa. She knew she should have pushed him away, she knew she should have fought back, but she hadn’t and that moment had forever defined and altered who she was. 
   She looked at Will, as he looked at her with compassion, and she realised she still had some courage in her. Without really thinking she nodded “all right then, let’s do it.” 
     
   “So your mother remarried?” 
   Jen nodded as she chewed on her lunch. They had decided to reheat the remains of the previous night’s pizza. “That’s right, she married Colin about sixteen years again.” 
   Will nodded, he wasn’t sure how he had managed to persuade Jen to take the day off. One minute she had been against it and the next she had been almost insisted. He wasn’t even sure why he had asked in the first place. There was no logical reason for it except he wanted more of her company. The previous night had he told her that he loved her and he realised he had been telling the truth. 
   He wasn’t sure when it had happened or who but he loved her. He needed to know all there was about her and he wanted to make her realise just how much she was worth. He wanted to help her realise that she had been exploited as a teenager. 
   Despite her words the previous night, Will doubted that she truly accepted the truth. She seemed to have twisted it in her head so that she was the one to blame. 
   “Why do you ask?” Jen murmured. 
   Will shrugged “just interested in your life.” Jen wiggled in her seat “you know all the important things. You know my past.” 
   She looked down as she spoke and gentle moved her face so she was looking at him “do you think I won’t love you because of your past?” 
   Jen’s eyes widened, she had put his words to the back of her mind, assuming them to be nothing more than drunken ramblings, but now he was saying them again. Why was he saying these things? Surely he couldn’t mean them. 
   Slowly she put her pizza on the plate and tried to sound amused as she replied “don’t say that.” 
   He took hold of her hand “I mean it Jen, I love you.” 
   She shook her head and stood up “you can’t love me, you weren’t supposed to love me!” 
   Will stood up, shocked by her reaction and confused by her choice of words “what do you mean; I wasn’t supposed to love you?” 
   She shook her head “I needed for you to not love me, I don’t want to hurt you like I hurt Phil.” 
   Will sighed, it seemed everything came back around to Phil. How could he make her see that she wasn’t to blame? How could he make her see that she was worthy of his love? 
   He walked to her and kissed her softly on the lips, he felt her melt into his arms and he scooped her up and moved to the sofa. They fell onto the sofa together amidst giggles and kisses and caressed her legs softly with his fingers tips. 
   He moved his mouth to her ear “you are beautiful and I will always love you and protect you.” 
   Jen closed her eyes to try and escape the reality that was in front of her. She couldn’t be with Will, she knew she couldn’t, but she couldn’t stop herself. She loved him too. She hadn’t supposed to and yet she did. What was the point in pushing him away if he already loved her? She ran her hand up his back and watched as flickers of pleasure crossed his face. She took his face in her hands and kissed him softly “I love you too.” 
   He smiled “thank goodness for that.” She nodded, something had awakened inside of her and she knew that she had to do right by Will. She had let Phil down but she wasn’t about to repeat her mistakes. 
   Jen wasn’t sure how or when she had fallen in love with Will but it was there. She had assumed that she wouldn’t be able to love anyone else but she had been wrong. Will was all that she wanted and his love had given her the strength she needed. 
   She knew which way to go forward and she wasn’t going to look back. She would always be slut deep down but she would have to stomp down on those feelings. She wouldn’t break Will’s heart. 
   She sat up “I need to go” 
   Will frowned, “right now?” 
   She nodded “standing appointment with Caroline’s school, will you wait here for me?” 
   “I understand” he replied “of course I will wait.” 
   Jen heard the slight twinge in his voice and she squeezed his hand affectionately. She didn’t want to hear that twinge ever again; she needed to make things right between them. 
     
   Jen arrived at the school a little earlier than usual. She placed a hand over her beating heart and tried to calm her nerves. Mr Burton, Caroline’s head master, would not be happy when he heard what she had to say. 
   She walked into the reception and asked for Burton. The snotty receptionist looked her down and told her to sit while they called him. Nothing was out of the ordinary and yet it was like she was seeing it for the first time. There was no reason for the change of attitude and yet it was there. 
   The doors swung open and Burton strode into the waiting area “ah Miss Gilmore” he grinned “come with me.” 
   She followed him to his office and winced as he locked the door behind them. Before she had time to breath she was pressed between his body and the door frame as he kissed her hard. With an inward sigh she almost relented to his advances. She was so used to do what people wanted and complying to sexual demands that for a moment she almost let herself slip, then she remembered Will. He loved her and she needed to stay faithful to him, no matter how scary it was. 
   She put her hands on his chest and pushed him as hard as she could. He moved away and looked at her savagely “what are you doing?” 
   She shook her head “I am cutting this off now, I can’t do it anymore. I have met someone.” 
   “Miss Gilmore,” he hissed “don’t forget why this started to begin with.” 
   She winced, she could read the expression on his face and she knew that his ego had been bruised. She had been fucking Burton since the age of fourteen, ever since she had transferred schools and had needed to earn her fees. As school was for ages five – eighteen, she had needed to continue fucking him for Caroline’s schooling as well. At one point she had asked Colin for help but he had refused, despite having more than enough funds. 
   Burton had once been an attractive man and Jen had spent many a lunch time listening to her peers swoon over him. If only they had known the reality of what they had been wishing for. 
   “You need to fuck me to keep your daughter in school” Burton grunted. 
   Jen wasn’t sure what happened but suddenly she felt power fill her body and she realised that she could play him like he was playing her. At that moment she realised that she had the strength to make Colin, Burton and Matthews powerless against her. How had she not realised before? 
   She walked to Burton’s desk and picked up a picture of his family “she looks nice” Jen commented pointed to his wife. 
   Burton blinked “she is nice.” 
   “Young” Jen commenting putting picture down, she already knew that Burton’s wife was almost half his age. “you must love each other very much to be able to face to stigma of your relationship.” 
   “What are you talking about?” Burton burst out. 
   “Unless she really did marry you for your money” Jen continued “I would be careful to keep hold of her when it all goes.” 
   Burton walked to her, pulled her off the desk and grabbed hold of her chin, “explain yourself.” 
   Jen shrugged him away “how would it look when I inform the school board that we have been fucking for the last fourteen years and for two of those years I was an underage school girl.” 
   His face drained of colour “you have no proof.” 
   Jen smiled, each word filled her with more power and she began to feel reborn. Maybe she wasn’t as bad a person as she had thought; maybe she had change since her time with Phil. Maybe if she managed to make it all right so she could be faithful to Will then she would be able to move on from her life and no longer be a dirty slut. 
   “Maybe I don’t” Jen finally replied “but after I tell them and the newspapers people will start to piece things together and even if they decide I am wrong, which I’m not, your reputation will be gone, along with your wife I imagine.” 
   “You bitch” Burton spat, but Jen could see that he knew he was defeated, he sat down at his desk “what do you want?” 
   “Caroline stays in school and until I find a way to pay you will cover her fees” Jen replied, surprised at how quickly she was finding her confidence “and our little arrangement stops today.” 
   Burton sighed “all right, but I won’t pay for her indefinitely, you need to find another way soon.” 
   Jen nodded, she already had an idea about who she would get the money from “thanks you Mr. Burton, I will speak to you soon.” 
   Burton nodded “Miss Gilmore.” 
   As Jen left the school she heard the reception mutter “just a quickie then” under her breath. Usually she would have let it go but there was nothing usual about that day so she stopped and turned back. 
   “Excuse me” Jen murmured. 
   The receptionist rolled her eyes “yes Miss Gilmore?” 
   “You may remember that I am a parent at this school” Jen murmured sternly “and you should treat me with a bit more respect, no matter what rumours you hear about me, is that clear?” 
   “Absolutely” replied the blinking receptionist. 
   Jen smiled and left the school, the wind rustled in her hair and she felt better than she had in years. All she needed to do now was speak to Colin and Matthews then she and Will could truly be together. 
   
   
   
   Chapter Eleven 
     
   Chapter Eleven 
   
   The next day, Jen has tackled Colin and is now ready for her biggest hurdle. Mr. Matthews. 
   
   
     
   
   Jen turned to Will, who offered her a smile of encouragement as they walked into work. So far she had been successful in telling her regular sexual clients that it needed to stop. The mention of blackmail had worked just as well with Colin as it had with Mr. Burton. She knew that her mother’s money was the backbone of Colin’s company and if it were to disappear he would be finished. Jen had told him that she would no longer be fucking him and she needed to him to take on Caroline’s school fees otherwise she would tell her mother everything. The last hurdle to face was Matthews. 
   He wouldn’t be happy when he found out that she would no longer be keeping him sexually satisfied and she wasn’t sure how she would stand up to him but she had to. 
   She looked at Will again to remind herself why she had to. He loved her and she loved him too, maybe his love was misplaced but she would not hurt him in the same way she hurt Phil. She couldn’t let him down. She wanted to love him always. 
   They walked into work together, as usual they were earlier than everyone else and they sat behind Jen’s desk while they waited for everyone. After a few minutes they heard the office door open and Matthews walked in. He signalled for Jen to join him in his office, with a sigh she followed him in. 
   “Where were you yesterday?” he demanded as soon as he had locked the door. 
   She swallowed and tried to find the courage she had had the day before “I was sick, I called in with enough time as my contract dictates, now you have called me in here I need to speak with you, about our sexual relationship.” 
   “What about it?” he breathed on her neck causing her to shiver. 
   She moved away from him and sat down at his desk. She had to be strong; she had to remember that she was doing it for Will. The man she loved. 
   “As of today I am ceasing our sexual relationship.” 
   Matthews’ face turned a shade of red as he thrusted it into hers “and how do you think that will work? You know that fucking me is the only reason you are in a job.” 
   Again Jen felt need to let out a long breath before continuing. Out of everyone she had ever fucked Matthews was, and probably would always be, the one she was most scared of. He was a strong and calculating man, which could be a deadly combination, especially when it was in the wrong hands. “You cannot fire me Matthews because I quit, I have found a job elsewhere.” “What will you do without my reference?” he snarled “I told you if you leave I won’t give you one and no one will employ you. You have no skills to offer other than your body.” 
   “So you have always told me” Jen murmured “but then I was speaking to my new employer and I realised that for the last nine years we have been using a sales spreadsheet that I made so that information was easier to find. They will be implanting the same thing when I start, you can’t tell me that I am useless anymore because I know I’m not.” She wasn’t really lying, while she hadn’t been offered a new job Will was talking to someone from another company who was looking for a secretary so she did hope to have one soon. “As for my reference, you will give me one otherwise I will tell my new employer everything that you have done to me. The sex, the abuse, the numerous black eyes, and then I will do everything I can to see help them bring you down.” 
   Matthews’ fist pounded on the desk but something was missing in his eyes. Jen realised then that she had won, he knew that she had beaten him. She stood up and walked to the door “I wonder if it would be worth giving me pay in lieu of notice, have a think about it.” “Miss Gilmore, I can still cause trouble for you” Matthews warned “mark my words I will make sure that neither you or your daughter get very far in your career.” 
   Jen sighed, she hadn’t really wanted to use the last tool in her box but it seemed like he was giving her no choice. She turned around and walked back to the desk, Matthews had walked back to his side and was sat down in his chair. “I don’t like having to use blackmail but I know that all the money in this company mainly belongs to your wife’s family and I wonder what they would say if they find out that you have been beating her.” 
   Matthews’ eyes widened “you don’t know what you are talking about.” 
   “As a fellow victim of your abuse I do know what I am talking about” Jen countered “I could tell when I met her at the Christmas party that you must hit her regularly. One word from me and that will be all they need to piece things together and then you will really be left with nothing. So can I count you on to leave me alone or do I have to get into contact with your wife’s family?” 
   “You bitch” Matthews shouted. 
   “Thank you for you cooperation” she smiled as she left his office. As soon as she was out of the office she rushed to Will, who hugged her tightly, she had done it. She had stood up to all of them and now they could get on with the rest of their lives. Maybe she would never be good enough for him, but he loved her and she would do all she could to make him feel loved in return. 
   “I have this thing at Caroline’s school tonight” Jen murmured “she is introducing some new benefactor or something, in all honestly I only skim read the letter, would you like to come?” 
   Will smiled “I’d love too.” 
     
   Later that evening they made the short journey to Caroline’s school. Matthews had decided to give pay in lieu of notice so she wouldn’t have to see him again, something she was more than grateful for. She had been willing to work the two weeks but in truth she hadn’t really wanted to. Everyone in the office knew about her and Matthews and their sniggers were beginning to drive her insane. 
   Jen was sure that she was going to get similar sniggers from the staff at the school tonight but she could handle that. Caroline had been given an important job and she wasn’t going to miss it. 
   Jen wasn’t sure why it had been Caroline who had been picked, all she had been told was that she had been chosen specifically by the new benefactor himself. Curious indeed but Jen knew that it must have something to do with Caroline’s school record. She had the best grades and attendance of anyone else in the school, Jen knew that much, so it only made sense that someone would choose her to introduce them. 
   “Mum!” Caroline beamed as they walked in “and Will too, nice to see you both, do I look all right?” 
   Jen looked down at her daughter, who looked beautiful in a tight fitting ruby dress, and smiled “you look wonderful sweetheart.” 
   “Thanks mum” Caroline grinned “right I need to go, thank you so much for coming.” 
   Jen watched as Caroline dashed off to behind the stage then sat down in a seat near the front. She saw a few people giving her odd glances, she rarely attended any even functions, but she didn’t care. She was there to support her daughter and that was all that mattered to her. 
   Will had also noticed the staring parents “what’s up with them?” 
   Jen shrugged “I don’t know, probably jealous that my daughter was chosen over their child for the introduction. To be honest, I don’t really get too involved with the school.” Will nodded “well maybe you could change that in the future, you know if you wanted to.” 
   “Maybe” she murmured. Truthfully she hadn’t really thought about it one way or the other. It was an open secret amongst the staff that she had been fucking Burton so she had no doubt that some of the parents also knew. In truth she had assumed that they would think of her as nothing so she hadn’t bothered to try and make friends. 
   The lights began to dimmer as everyone turned to look at the stage. Caroline was stood next to Burton, who cleared his throat before speaking. 
   “Good evening ladies and gentleman” he boomed “As you know we are here today to welcome a new benefactor into the school board of directors. I pass you over to one of our best pupils, who will be introducing him to you all this evening, ladies and gentleman, Miss Caroline Gilmore.” 
   There was a small round of applause as Caroline walked up to a podium and cleared her throat. “Thank you very much Mr. Burton, I have the greatest honour to introduce to you all, the latest member on our board of directors. Not only has he been taking an active interest in the lives of us students here at the school but he has also given a very generous donation to help fund our new library and pay for new equipment.” 
   Jen smiled with pride at her daughter “she is so wonderful” she whispered to Will. 
   “Ladies and Gentleman, please give a large round of applause for our benefactor, Mr. Pearson.” Caroline cheered as she started clapping. 
   Jen felt the blood drain from her face, it couldn’t be could it? “Did she say Mr. Pearson?” 
   Will nodded “yeah that’s right, she did a wonderful job, don’t you think?” 
   Jen nodded but she couldn’t get her mind to focus, surely it couldn’t be the same one, surely there were lots of Mr. Pearsons. With trepidation she looked back to the stage and tried not wince as she was faced with the reality in front of her. 
   “Oh my God” she whispered “it can’t be.” 
   Maybe it was a coincidence, maybe he didn’t know that Caroline was her daughter, and maybe he didn’t know that she was sat in the audience. 
   She saw him turn in her direction and their eyes met, she swallowed nervously and tried not to flinch as he winked at her. 
   “Who is he?” Will asked, urgently. 
   Jen let out a small breath “It’s Phil.” 
   
   
   
   Chapter Twelve 
     
   Chapter Twelve 
   
   Jen is about to have an awkward encounter  
   
     
   Jen tried to swallow but her throat was dry. What was Phil doing there? She hadn’t seen him in over fifteen years but he still looked amazing. He hadn’t age much, if at all, and she could feel herself going back in time. Oh dear, what was she going to say to him? Would he still hate her for hurting him? 
   She turned to Will, who was watching Phil with unblinking eyes, what was he thinking? Maybe he wouldn’t love her once he found out how badly she had hurt Phil. Jen bit her lip, she had only just started trusting love again and she didn’t want anything to mess it up. She wished she knew what Will was thinking. 
   Finally the assembly draw to a close and, as was customary, the parents were invited to stay for drinks afterwards to become better acquainted. Jen stood up quickly, wanting nothing more than to escape as soon as Caroline was ready. She felt Will’s hand on her back as she scanned the crowd looking for Caroline. Jen felt the blood drain from her face as she saw spotted her daughter, engrossed in conversation with Phil. 
   Will, who had also spotted Caroline, whispered “it will be all right, I’m here.” 
   Jen nodded slowly as they began to walk towards Caroline and Phil. She needed to be strong, she had to get Caroline away from him, she didn’t want her daughter knowing who is was. If Caroline found out the truth about Jen’s past who knows what she would think. 
   “Caroline” Jen smiled, doing her best to seem calm. 
   “Mum” Caroline beamed “I didn’t know you already knew Mr. Pearson. How exciting.” 
   “I wouldn’t say I know him” Jen murmured. 
   “Oh come on, Jenny” Phil grinned “we used to be quite friendly at one time.” 
   Jen flinched at his use of her old nickname “that was a long time ago Phil.” 
   “I suppose it was” Phil replied before turning to Will “you must be the boyfriend.” 
   “That’s right” Will grunted. 
   “I hope you are looking after Jenny” Phil smiled. 
   “I am” Will snapped, as he fought to control his anger, how dare this man act as if nothing had happened? Jen might be in denial about it all but Will knew the truth about Phil. He knew that Phil had groomed her and used her for his own advantage then discarded with her as soon as she was no longer useful. 
   Caroline turned to Will with a confused look on her face. He wasn’t surprised; he wasn’t usually so brash with people. “Are you all right Will?” 
   “Quite all right” he replied softly “just a bit tired.” 
   “Yes, we have to be going” Jen murmured, grateful that Will had made the perfect excuse for them to leave. She took hold of Caroline’s hand and gentle pulled her away from Phil. 
   “Can’t I stay a bit longer?” Caroline asked “I’m happy to walk home, it’s not far?” 
   “No, I don’t want you walking in the dark” Jen replied “you don’t know who is about.” 
   “I will give her a lift home” Phil cut in. 
   “Oh, yes please” Caroline beamed “that would be all right wouldn’t it?” “No!” Jen snapped loudly. All eyes turned to her in surprise; she didn’t usually raise her voice. She couldn’t let Caroline be alone with Phil, it was all too risky. She knew how charming Phil could be and she didn’t want Caroline to fall under his spell. 
   “I’m sorry” Will murmured flashing Jen a smile “it’s my fault, I’m planning to take you both out for a meal this evening.” 
   “A meal?” Caroline beamed “can we have pizza?” 
   “Whatever you like” Will grinned. 
   “Oh yes, pizza” Caroline smiled as she pulled Will towards the exit. 
   Jen smiled nervously “I had better follow them, Caroline gets a bit excited about pizza.” Phil nodded “until next time, Jenny.” 
   “There won’t be a next time” Jen returned, trying to sound forceful “I want you to leave me and Caroline alone. We don’t need you.” 
   “I never said you did” Phil smiled “but I will see Caroline here at times. I cannot ignore her.” 
   “Don’t do anything to her” Jen warned before rushing as quickly as she could to the exit. She hoped he listened to her and left the two of them alone. The last thing she needed was for Caroline to discover the truth about her. 
     
   It was around lunchtime the next day when she heard a knock at door. Jen frowned, she wasn’t expecting anyone and Caroline was school, with a sigh she stood up and opened the door. She felt the blood drain from her face as Phil smiled at her and walked past her into the flat. She let out a breath to try and ease her nerves but it was no good, her heart was beating double speed. What was he doing there? Why couldn’t he just leave her alone? 
   “Nice place” Phil commented “I can see you are doing well for yourself.” “I get by” Jen replied cautiously “I am in between jobs at the moment. Why are you here?” Phil chuckled “you don’t mess around do you?” 
   “I told you to leave me alone” Jen snapped “why are you here?” “I can’t stop thinking about you” Phil murmured as he walked towards her. 
   Jen’s heart started beating faster and she took a step back out of fear. Phil had a dangerous look in his eye, one she remembered from when they dated, and she didn’t like it. It was the look he had had before they had fucked for the first time. 
   “I can’t help that” she said nervously. 
   “You were always such a good girl” he grinned as he ran his finger down her cheek. 
   She flinched and moved away from him again, how did he know where she lived? She supposed it was easy enough to find out, especially when he was connected so closely to Caroline’s school but still it unnerved her. She didn’t want to be alone with him, especially when he looked so aggressively turned on but what else could she do? Will wasn’t expected back until that evening and she doubted he would leave if she asked. She had already asked him to leave her alone and he had defied her in that regard. 
   “Why are you here?” she repeated. 
   He walked to her again and put his hand on her waist. She tried to move away but he held firm “I missed you, Jenny. Seeing you last night reminded me how good you are and I want you.” 
   “No!” Jen snapped as she pushed on his chest. 
   “Come on, Jenny” Phil smiled as he kissed her neck “you used to do this all the time.” “I don’t do it anymore” Jen argued, as she, once again, failed to push him away “I’m with Will now and I don’t want to fuck anyone else. Leave me alone, now.” Slowly Phil shook his head as he brought his lips to hers. Jen continued to fight him but he was too strong for her and his protests just seemed to excite him even more. 
   He pushed her onto the sofa and started to undress. Jen took advantage of the distraction to make a dash for the front door but he had pre-empted her actions and had no trouble grabbing hold of her again. 
   Once she was back in his arms he slapped her across the face. “Don’t do that again.” 
   “Please, Phil” Jen whispered as teared started to fall down her face “please don’t do this.” “I need you, Jenny” he replied as he pulled her close to him. She could feel his erection, hard and fierce against her leg. Why was he doing this to her? She had said no, she didn’t want it. 
   “Strip” he ordered. 
   She shook her head “No, let me go please.” 
   He pushed her back onto the sofa and laid on top of her to stop her from moving “I will do it for you” he whispered in her ear “don’t fight me, Jenny.” She ignored his words and started pushing on his chest but it was no use, he was too strong for her to fight back. 
   “Please stop” she begged as he pulled down her trousers “please no.” 
   He chuckled “I’m not used to you being so resistant, Jenny, at one time you would have let me do whatever I wanted.” 
   Jen shook her head, unsure of what to say in reply. She had love him before but she didn’t any longer, she wasn’t sure what had happened to him. Was he still mad at her for what had happened? Was he doing all of this purely for revenge? 
   He positioned himself to enter her pussy and with one fast thrust he fully embedded himself within her. The pain was like nothing she had felt before and she made a feeble attempt to push him away once more but she knew it would be pointless. 
   With another chuckle he began to move in and out of her, each thrust increased the pain she felt and she had to bite her lip to stop herself from crying out in distress. She didn’t want him to see how much he was hurting her; she didn’t want him to take satisfaction from her tears. 
   Jen closed her eyes to try and pretend that it wasn’t happening but it was no use. Nothing could distract her from the pain in her pussy or the callous laughing of the man causing that pain. 
   She felt his movements become more frenzied as he neared completion and his thrusts became faster and harder. 
   “Please stop now” she begged. 
   He slapped her face “I will stop when I want to.” 
   She shook her head helpless as the pain increased. Unable to hold back any longer she let out a sharp cry and the tears started falling silently down her cheeks. She felt his mouth close around her nipple and she let out a surprised gasp as he began to bite around it. 
   After what felt like hours he pulled out of her and shoved his cock in her mouth, forcing her to suck him until he orgasmed. His sperm filled her mouth as he pushed her away and slowly got dressed. 
   Jen looked down and waited for him to finish. At the sound of the door she rushed to the bathroom and spat his sperm into the sink. She cleaned her mouth out then she slowly sat on the floor and started to cry. 
   
   
   
   Chapter Thirteen 
   Chapter Thirteen 
   
   Jen is still sat in the bathroom reliving what happened with Phil as she regresses back to being thirteen years old.  
   
   
     
   
   She flinched as she heard the door open, had Phil come back? She wasn’t sure how long she had been in the bathroom but surely he was well away by now. Jen winced as she heard Will’s voice calling for her, what would she say to him? She stood up on trembling legs and painted a wobbly smile onto her face. She had to act as if everything was normal. Why had Phil done that to her? Maybe she had been wrong; maybe she wasn’t good enough to be loved. Perhaps all she was good for was fucking. Why else would Phil have raped her? 
   She looked in the mirror and quickly wiped her eyes. She had said no, she had told him she didn’t want to and he had still done it. What other answer was there? Since her first time with Phil she had believed that all she was good for was sex. When she had met Will she had begun to hope that maybe she could have more, that maybe she could be  worth  more but she had been wrong. 
   Phil had proven her wrong. Why else would he have done what he did? He must still be angry about what she had done to him before. 
   “Jen, are you here?” Will called. 
   “Just coming” she replied urgently. 
   Jen walked out of the bathroom and smiled at Will. She walked further into the room and her eyes locked on the sofa.  That  was where it had happened. She closed her eyes as a wave of pain shot her through her. What was she going to do? 
   “Jen, are you all right?” 
   She opened her eyes quickly and turned to Will, he was looking at her with concern. She didn’t deserved his concern, she was dirty. She was nothing. No wonder Phil had raped her. 
   “You should go” Jen murmured. 
   Will blinked “Jen?” 
   “You need to leave” she replied softly as tears fell down her cheeks “I can’t do this to you anymore.” 
   “Do what to me?” 
   “I can’t be with you this way anymore.” Jen whispered “it isn’t fair on you, you deserve more than what I can give, you deserve more than me.” 
   Will looked at her with watery eyes “why are you doing this? Don’t you love me?” 
   “Of course I love you” Jen shook her head, she didn’t want to think about how much she loved him. She knew she was breaking both their hearts but what else could she do? Obviously Phil had sensed something in her. 
   Obviously he knew that deep down she could never be more than a cheap whore. Will hadn’t been able to see that yet but he would, she knew that she would hurt him just like she had hurt Phil. 
   “This is about that man” Will walked over to her and took her shoulders “what happened?” 
   Jen shook her head “no, it’s me. I won’t ever be worthy of someone like you.” “Jen, please don’t turn me away” he begged. 
   “I have to” she whispered “I have to.” 
   “I will leave no” Will replied “but I will be back and I will find out what happened.” 
   She closed her eyes again until she heard the front door slam then she curled herself up in the arm chair and she started to cry. 
     
   It was three hours before Will came back to the flat. He had needed time to cool off and ease his pain before trying to speak with Jen again. Something had happened that day and he needed to know what it was. He suspected it had something to do with her ex but he couldn’t be sure. He had never seen Jen so shaken up before, it unnerved him. She had been gaining such confidence and it tore at his heart to see her so shaken up. 
   He let himself into the flat and saw her sat on the arm chair, Caroline was next to her “please mum, tell me what happened.” 
   “It’s nothing Caroline” Jen replied but her voice was monotone and she had a blank expression. 
   Will coughed “Jen?” 
   Caroline rushed to him “Oh Will, do you know what’s wrong with mum? 
   “I’m not sure” he replied looking at Jen. 
   “I told you to go” Jen murmured. 
   Caroline turned around confused “it’s Will mum.” 
   “I know who it is” Jen replied as she stood up “I broke up with Will.” 
   “Why?” Caroline asked. 
   “It’s personal” Jen walked into the kitchen and poured herself a glass of water as she tried to compose her mind. Caroline had noticed something was wrong the moment she had arrived home. She had been incessant with questions. 
   “What this mess on the sofa?” 
   Jen groaned at her daughter’s question. She didn’t want to look at the sofa but it seemed like she would have no choice. Not unless she wanted to admit what had happened. 
   She backed out of the kitchen “what mess?” 
   “These stain marks” Caroline pointed at little droplets on the sofa cushions. 
   Jen closed her eyes. Some of Phil’s sperm must have dripped from her mouth and marked the sofa. She looked at Will who was also looking at the marks with dawning recognition. 
   “What did he do to you?” Will asked. 
   “Nothing” Jen snapped defensively, she couldn’t tell them what had happened. She couldn’t let Caroline know what kind of person she was. 
   “What did who do?” Caroline asked. 
   “Phil” Will answered, he had known it was something do with Phil as soon as he had seen Jen. What had the knave done?” 
   “The man from school?” Caroline asked “why would he have done anything?” 
   “He didn’t do anything” Jen insisted as her heart started to beat faster “nothing happened.” 
   Will wasn’t going to be as easily convinced as she hoped. He recognised what the stains on the sofa were and he knew what had happened. He took a step towards Jen. “Look at me” he gently ordered, when she did he continued “did he rape you?” 
   He heard Caroline gasp from behind him but his eyes never left Jen’s as she slowly nodded and started to cry. He took her in his arms and held her tightly, he wanted to make it all go away. The man had tormented her childhood and Will would not let him torment her adulthood as well. She was worth so much more than she gave herself credit for. She was worth the world. 
   “Mum?” Caroline walked forward “he raped you?” 
   Jen moved away from Will and sat back down in the arm chair. She had never felt so small in her whole life. Why did Phil have to come back? Why couldn’t she be worthy of love? What made her such a bad person? 
   “I deserved it” she whispered “I treated him terribly when I was younger.” 
   “No one deserved to get raped” Caroline asked “what did you do when you were younger?” 
   Jen shook her head “you are too young.” 
   “I’m fourteen” Caroline argued “they taught us all about sex and rape in school. What happened?” 
   “Caroline, it’s nothing” Jen insisted “I hurt him a long time ago, that’s all.” 
   “You never did anything to him” Will burst out “he exploited you!” 
   Silence descended upon the room and all three of them looked at each other. Jen bit her lip and looked away towards the wall. How could Will say that she was the one who had been wronged? She had been the one who had hurt Phil not the other way around. 
   “Mum, when did you know him?” Caroline asked slowly before glancing cautiously at Will. He realised that she had guessed what had happened to Jen. 
   “I met him when I was thirteen” Jen replied “we had a relationship and I hurt him.” 
   Caroline looked at Will again before kneeling down next to the arm chair and taking Jen’s hands. Will took a step back, aware that mother and daughter needed a moment to themselves. 
   “Mum, how did you hurt him?” Caroline asked. 
   Jen tried not to flinch at her daughter’s gentle touch. She hadn’t wanted to tell Caroline about what had happened but it seemed the circumstances beyond her control were making it all come out. She smiled softly “I started sleeping with his friends, I thought that that was what he wanted but it wasn’t. He told me that he had been waiting for me to defy him and refuse. He told me that I broke his heart.” 
   “Is he my dad?” Caroline asked. 
   Jen closed her eyes and shook her head “I don’t know, it could have been any of them.” 
   Caroline nodded “I understand. You don’t really think you are to blame do you?” 
   “He loved me until I did that” Jen murmured. 
   “But you were thirteen” Caroline argued “and he was surely in his thirties by then. You must see that he exploited you.” 
   Jen looked at her daughter in surprise then turned to Will. They had both said used that word, ‘exploited’ it sounded awful. Not the word she would have used to describe the love he had had for her. 
   “Mum?” Caroline asked. 
   Jen shook her head and stood up as tears started falling down her cheeks. Did they think she couldn’t see how it looked to an outsider? She wasn’t stupid but she had been on inside and she had seen how hurt Phil had been. “He said when I became pregnant that was a whore” she cried “he always knew it but I started to forgot my place and he saw that so he made damn sure that I would remember. That is why he raped me.” 
   “Mum, you are in denial” Caroline argued “think about it, if, deep down, you knew it was your fault then why did you want me to be with him on my own? You knew he was a risk and you had to protect me. Deep down, you know what he really did to you.” 
   The earth around Jen shattered as she turned around to compose herself. Why did something so simple have such an effect on her? She felt like the truth had hit on her the head. 
   “No” she shook her head as confusion filled her mind “no it was my fault.” 
   Will walked forward “you know it’s not.” 
   “Don’t you understand?” Jen cried as she turned around “don’t you understand that it has to be my fault? Because if it wasn’t, if I wasn’t always meant to turn out this way, then that means if I had been ten seconds earlier or ten seconds later then none of it would happened and that’s too much to bear.” 
   Will put his arm around her as she started to cry and suddenly everything made sense in her mind. All the confusion was gone and all that was left was the starling reality of what had happened to her. 
   “It wasn’t my fault” she sobbed “it wasn’t my fault.” 
     
     
   
   
   
   Chapter Fourteen 
   Chapter Fourteen 
   
   A few days later. Jen has reported Phil to the police, who were as helpful as they could be, on the way back she stops in at her mother’s house.  
   
   
     
   
   Her mother was surprised to see her; truthfully Jen wasn’t sure why she decided to visit her childhood home. She didn’t usually go to the house in case she saw Colin but on the way back from the police station she had felt the urge to go there. 
   Her mother, Constance Stark, showed her into the lounge and sat down in the arm chair. Jen sat down on the adjoining sofa and smiled softly, suddenly unsure what to say. 
   She cleared her throat “how have you been?” 
   “Fine” Constance replied. 
   Jen swallowed, her mother had always been something of hard woman to talk to. She was usually cold without meaning to be and that tended to make Jen not want to talk to her. 
   “I know you and Caroline are close” Jen finally murmured finding the words only moments before speaking them “but from now on she can’t come here, if you want to see her than you need to come to our house.” 
   “What have you said to her?” Constance asked “why the sudden change?” 
   “She doesn’t want to come to the house anymore in case she sees Colin” Jen replied “I have to respect her feelings in the matter.” 
   Something flickered over Constance’s face that Jen could not read. After giving birth to Caroline, Jen had made strict orders that Colin was not to be left alone with her. She doubted her mother had forgotten the conversation. 
   “What has Colin done to her?” Constance asked. 
   “It wasn’t anything he done to her” Jen answered softly “it was what he has done to me.” 
   Constance raised her eyebrows as she stood to get herself a drink. Jen’s eyes followed her as she sat back down. “Tell me what you came here to say.” 
   “We used to be close” Jen murmured “then dad died and I don’t know what happened. Did you really not notice or were you simply choosing to be blind to it all? I mean you must have noticed something surely?” 
   “Jennifer, please, what is this all about?” 
   “The last few days have been hard for me and I have been thinking about a lot. I have been thinking about my childhood a lot.” Jen stood and walked to the window “It has taken me fifteen years to accept it but Colin exploited me and used me.” 
   “What are you talking about?” her mother demanded “why are you saying these things?” 
   Jen turned around “because it’s true and please don’t act so surprised. Did you never think about the identity of Caroline’s father?” 
   “A boy at school you said” Constance replied. 
   “Oh please” Jen scoffed “that’s what Colin said not me, the truth is I don’t know who her father is and it could even be Colin.” 
   “No” her mother murmured. 
   “Yes!” Jen shot back “I was groomed when I was thirteen by a man named Phil, he made me prostitute myself and when Colin found out he took advantage and made me do the same.” 
   Constance shook her head “No, Jennifer, stop saying these things.” 
   “I can’t change what happened mother” Jen snapped “I won’t back down from the truth any longer. Colin used me for sex, he could be Caroline’s father I don’t know, and Caroline doesn’t want to be around him anymore and I have to respect her wishes.” 
   “And what about me?” Constance asked “surely you don’t hold me responsible.” 
   Jen raised her eyebrows “I just wish I knew what happened to you after dad died. I know Colin gave you want you needed but what about what  I  needed? I needed you.” 
   “You had me” Constance insisted. 
   “No I didn’t” Jen replied as she walked back from the window and looked at her mother “you were always on pain pills or sleeping pills or away on holiday. I can’t fault how you have been to Caroline but I lost you the day dad died and you know it. You were looking for something I couldn’t give you and Colin could. I don’t blame you for what happened but I can’t forgive Colin for exploiting me. He knew what was happening and he used it to his advantage. I can’t make you believe and quite honestly it doesn’t bother me if you do.” Jen started to leave but stopped and turned around again “Colin gave you love, a love I couldn’t give you, as well as security and money. I know why you clung onto him and maybe you one day you will see that I am telling the truth and leave. You know where we are if you need us.” 
   Jen left the house and turned around one more time with a pensive sigh before she started walking back to her flat. It had been a roller-coaster of a week and she was glad it was relatively over. She and Will started their new jobs that following Monday and she couldn’t wait. At last she would be appreciated for her work. 
   She hadn’t told her mother about the police or that she had told them everything, including Colin’s part in her exploitation. She would find out when the police went to speak with him after conducting an investigation. 
   Jen smiled as the wind rustled through her hair and instead of going home she decided to take a stroll. For the first time in fifteen years she felt at peace with her life. She was still surprised it had taken her so long to see what had happened to her clearly. Once she had admitted the truth to herself it had all made so much sense. 
   She blinked as she realised she had walked near her old school. How many days had she rushed out of there desperate to see Phil? She shuddered at thought. She had been so in love with him and it had all been lies. That had been the hardest thing to accept. The fact that everything he had said had been a lie, that the feelings he had professed had all been false. 
   Over half of her life had been dictated by something that had never been there in the first place. How could anything be so cruel? 
   With renewed determination she turned around and walked towards Phil’s house. She didn’t want to see him, at least she didn’t think she did, but she wanted to see his house. For all she knew he no longer lived there anyway but she wanted to see where her life had been changed forever. She didn’t think she could face up to her past completely without seeing it. 
   She walked as quickly as possible and stopped in the road just slightly opposite his house. She scanned the street as memories washed over her. She hadn’t been there since the day she found out she was pregnant. She didn’t know what to do, she quickly sent a text to Will to explain where she was then she went back to scanning the street. 
   She shrugged as she realised she felt nothing for any of it anymore. All the feelings that had once been there were now non-existent and she had a new life to lead now, one that was filled with love and hope. She turned to walk away but stopped as she saw a police car turn into the road and stop outside Phil’s house. She turned around intrigued and watched as two uniformed officers knocked on the door, as soon as Phil opened the door she felt tears in her eyes. She clenched her next in attempt to stop herself from crying and watched on. 
   The police seemed to show him a batch and a piece of paper and one of them entered the house while the other stayed outside with Phil. She was too far away to hear what was being said but Phil looked annoyed and was shaking his head in exasperation. Suddenly the other police man came out of the house and whispered something to the one outside. 
   Jen watched as the first police man, the one inside the house, started speaking frantically into his radio. He rushed back into the house and within seconds he walked back out with his arm around a young girl. 
   Jen’s neck clenched even harder as the tears in her eyes became more forceful. She hadn’t even considered until that moment that there might have been other girls. How foolish she had been. She looked on at the house as the girl tried to reach out to Phil as he stoically stood by the policeman. 
   “We need a female officer here” the first policeman called into his radio. 
   “Let me go” the girl demanded “Phil, tell them that we love each other please. Tell them.” 
   Suddenly Jen felt a hand in hers and she looked up and saw Will by her side. They watched in silence as the scene unfolded and the police handcuffed Phil. Just before he was lowered into the police car he caught sight of her and they locked eyes. 
   He nodded at her and she returned the gesture. She knew that he knew she had been the one to go to the police and that was all that mattered. 
   “Mum?” 
   She looked behind her and saw Caroline walking up the road. She took her daughter’s hand and turned back to the scene outside Phil’s house. 
   The young girl was now crying hysterically as a man, presumably one of Phil’s clients, walked up to the house. Jen shook her head and turned away, she had seen enough. She didn’t want to be reminded of her past completely. 
   “How are you feeling?” Caroline asked “did you see grand ma?” 
   “I did” Jen replied “she was in shock but I think she will understand eventually.” 
   “You must be glad that it is all over?” Will asked. 
   Jen shook her head as she stared off into distance “it’s not all over though is it? Maybe for me I am starting to move on but he will always be there in the back my mind and there will always be other people.” She gestured to the house “for that young girl it’s all just starting, and there must be many others like us too.” Jen sighed “I will this was the end, I wish I could say it was all over” she turned to Will and smiled “but I am glad that I am able to move on with the rest of my life, let’s go home.” 
   The three of them walked away from the house together, all of them looking forward to the bright future that was awaiting them. 
     
   
   
   Text: Sophie J Brain Images: Sophie J Brain Editing: Sophie J Brain All rights reserved. Publication Date: August 30th 2018 https://www.bookrix.com/-ow9b8fef09a4095