text: Kennedi  Mathis The Confessions of a Not So Popular Teenage Girl Madison 
  Dad 
  Mom 
   
   
   
   Prologue 
   Not everyone is the same. People expect me to be like everyone else, but guess what. I AM NOT. I hate trying to fit in. It’s all a bunch of bullshit. I don’t play well with others. My dad thinks it’s because my mother is gone. But honestly I could care less. I don’t hate my life just everyone in it. I have had boyfriends, but I haven’t found one that will stick around. Believe it or not I’m kind of a bitch. For now I’m good with being alone. At least I have my brain on my side. I’m smart and that will help me farther in life then giving it up to a guy. 
   
   
   
   Chapter 1: Boring Mornings and Annoying Gym Classes 
     
    I woke up to the sound of the alarm clock on my phone. I got in the shower and washed my medium length brown hair. I put body wash on the Loofah and washed my body. I am five foot seven. So I’m not short but not extremely tall either. I wear size 15. But I have a forty c cup bra. I got out of the shower, put on my bra and underwear(I don’t wear thongs they are disgusting and I hate the way they feel, I usually wear boy shorts.) Then I put on a pair of leggings, my black tank, and a hoodie. I took my hair out of my towel and I took the blow dryer and started to blow dry my hair. As soon it was dry, I took my crimper and crimped my hair. I then grabbed my makeup and put on foundation, concealer, and powder. I then drew a black line on my tight line top and bottom then I put some mascara on and no eyeshadow. Then I brushed my teeth. Finally done getting ready, I grabbed my backpack. Then went into the kitchen for some Lucky Charms. It’s only seven ten so I have twenty minutes until the bus gets here. 
   “Morning Dad,” I said as I was getting my cereal. He is a stay at home dad, so we are kind of poor.   I run out to the bus. (The only ride I have to school.) It’s almost the end of the year. I’m excited for summer. I’m a Freshman in High School. I go to John F. Hodge High School. I’m fourteen and I don’t really have a lot of friends. I have two really good friends(Madi and Prosser.(I’ll talk about him later.)) and then everyone else is just an acquaintance. The school is just for Freshman through Seniors. So there isn’t that many people that go here. Probably about 400 if that, and I know that there are only  100 in my grade. I’m not sure about the other grades. 
   I went to my locker and grabbed my tennis shoes. (Cuz sadly I have PE first hour because the Counselors don’t know how to make a good schedule.) The bell rang. I went to the bathroom to change. (Honestly I hate girls looking at me get dressed.) When I was done dressing I went to the gym of course today was the day we had to run the mile. Fuck. 
   
   
   
   Chapter 2: Algebra and Daydreaming 
     
   Second Hour came along and I sit with Cameron and David, I’m the only girl. Unless you call Cameron a girl. (Well he is too gay to function.) Anyway, we had to take a test over Quadratics. Fuck. I didn’t study what so ever. FML. As we took the test. I kept glancing at Trenton.(Who is absolutely gorgeous.) Anyway we had a flirty thing. Then Cameron ruined it with obsessing over Cade and how he wasn’t there. Damn that  boy gets on my nerves(Cameron). As I ended my test I thought “Yep I bombed it.” Not to mention I was daydreaming about Prosser(told you I’d talk about him later). He’s blonde, has amazing blue eyes, and 6 foot.   
   Thing about Prosser is he flirts way too hard and is really obnoxious. Which is how every sixteen year old guy is. I trust him but I don’t think I’d trust him with my heart. He is kind of has commitment issues. Which is not a good thing. He also is going to Prom with Merideth. I thought he liked me but I guess not. The life of an unpopular teenage girl. It is unfair how people who are popular get what they want.  It's absolutely ridiculous it's like the first class on an airplane. Only rich bitches get popular.  
     
   
   
   
   Chapter 3: People Issues 
    My parents split when I was nine and until I was thirteen I had to live with my mother who never gave me any real attention. She always made me feel like I wasn’t enough and I wouldn’t get her attention unless I was a whore like her. So July of last summer I decided to move in with my dad. I felt like it was better, but I didn’t realize my brother Adam was hanging around dad again but to me I didn’t care much for him, he raped me when I was little and ever since then my life has been hell. My dad also had a girlfriend named Anita. ( I honestly hate that bitch, she always gets me in trouble, it’s really aggravating.) Other than that I have a pretty normal life except for an annoying bitch named Anna that follows me around everywhere and asks like we are best buddies when in reality I want to slit her throat. Let’s just say I don’t play well with others. It's been really hard dealing with her and my mother. They are exactly the same person some how. All they want to do is hurt me. Which leads me to my next chapter.  
   
   
   
   Chapter 4: Suicide Attempts and Hatred 
    I used to be really bad about cutting and self harm but I never really knew why. I also tried to commit suicide but couldn’t really find the heart to do it. Cutting was kind of an escape from the normal world and just see the blood rush down my arm like a waterfall. I found it soothing. I never thought anyone actually gave a shit about me. Just because of what went down with my mother. Let’s just say we argued and basically she kicked me out and told me I’d never be able to live with her again. She thinks orgasms help her forget about what she has done in the past. When really it just scars me and tears me down to the point of suicide. I normally just take her yelling and end up crying away my eyeliner and mascara. In other words I'm weak and she is strong. That's the way she has always wanted it to be. Even my sister is the same way. Me and my Mother will never be close. It's the same thing with Prosser I have to guard my heart and myself.(She's my mother I should be able to trust her.)  
   
   
   
   Chapter 5: Best Friends and Music 
    The only escape for me is my Best Friends and Music. To me music has been there for me my whole life. It's the only thing I can go to without feeling like an Outsider. It makes me comfortable. In other words it's the only thing that hasn't left me or forsaked me. Best Friends help too. They are always there when you need them the most. Madi was there for me when I was battling with cutting and she's always there no matter what. It's kind of refreshing.  
   
   
   
   Chapter 6: Am I a fool when it comes to love? 
   I thought he was different. He liked me. Or at least I thought. He said he'd never hurt me. He said he'd be there. It was all lies. Lies. Slander. Betrayal. That's all he ever did to me. I thought he changed. He said he could finally be mine. Player. Dick. Asshole.(Not a gay term.) He said he'd never leave. What the fuck happened? She happened, she stole him with faster than you could say slut. I thought he was with me. He never loved me. I was just a comfort zone. We're just friends thats all we'll always be. Him, he stole my heart with those blue dreamy eyes. He fooled me. It has never felt so real. What will I do now that he's gone? It'll be awkward now.   
   
   
   
   Chapter 7: Aftermath 
   He acts like it is nothing. He acts like we are still friends. We are not friends. I fell so hard. What the fuck happened to guarding myself? I guess it was his eyes or was it his ability to see through me. I will never know.  
     
   We're in a dark room. He walks towards me. I start yelling at him.  He grabs me and kisses me hard, making me be press against him. (Nice way to shut me up.) I try to pull away but he just keeps ahold of me. I calm down and he lets go. He then says in his calm voice, " What's wrong, kid?" I hate when he does that, I'm only a year, two months, and thirteen days younger than him. "I'm fine, I'm just done with dumbass guys." I start to walk away and go towards the door. He grabs me. I pull back. He kisses me again more passionately. I try to get out of the kiss. But I can't, it's too unbearable. How do I get out of this? He starts to caress my breasts.  
     
   My alarm goes off. What the fuck was that?  
   
   
   
   Chapter 8: The Kiss 
   Tonight Prosser comes over to have dinner with me and my parents. Dad is making dinner. So me and Prosser go into my room to watch a movie on my laptop. I start to walk to my bedroom and he grabs my hand. We walk to my room and when I close the door he starts kissing me. I tell him to stop and he says "Why?" "I'm just not ready lets watch Big Hero 6. "Sure." he says with a disappointed voice. Big Hero 6 is about to get good when my dad hollers for me. Then me and Prosser walk into the kitchen to eat. My Dad and Anita make us sit across the table from each other. Then dad starts with his questions. After dinner he helps me with the dishes. Dad then says " I like you. You and my daughter can hang out alone. I trust you." After me and Prosser do the dishes he has to leave.  So I walk out with him and he kisses me passionately. (Mind you this is my first kiss.) He then says, " See you Friday." "What's Friday?" I say. "You'll see." he says with a grin. He walks to his car and pulls out of the driveway.  
   
   
   
   Chapter 9 : My First Time 
   Friday is here. He picks me up at 7 and we go to the movies. After the movies we go to his place. (His parents aren't home.) We walk to his bedroom and he lays me on the bed. We make out and he starts to go down to the top of my jean shorts. He asks " Can I?" I say "Yes" not thinking about it. He pulls my shorts down and starts to tease me. He then pulls my underwear down. "Just enjoy it" he says. He then eats me out. I moan he continues and I suddenly feel overwhelmed with pleasure. He then moves up and caresses my breast and kisses me. Then he stands up and pulls down his jeans and boxers. He then lays on top of me and starts to go inside of me and I moan. He then goes faster and faster finally I cum and he cums. We then get dressed and cuddle and watch a movie.  
   We finally pull into the driveway. The clock on the dashboard says 9:58. Two minutes before curfew. I start to get out of the car and he pulls me in and kisses me. I then say "Thanks for an awesome date." Then I get out of the care and head toward the door. When I walk in the door Anita and Dad are asleep. I lock the door and head to the bathroom to take a shower. When I'm done with my shower I walk to my room and brush my hair. Then lay in my bed and go to sleep.  
   
   
   
   Chapter 10: Morning After 
   I wake up and feel sick to my stomach. I rush to the bathroom and vomit. Then Madi shows up and I tell her everything that happened with Prosser and she tells me to go get a Pregnancy Test. So we walk to the dollar store and walk back home and I take the test. It comes up positive. I then have to find out a way to tell my parents, and Prosser. Fuck.  
     
   You actually thought I was gonna leave you hanging. God. What kind of person do you think I am? Oh ya I'm a bitch.  
     
     
   Check out my next book.       Preggers and Dealing with it.  
   
   
   Text: BookRix Images: Kennedi Mathis Editing: BookRix Translation: Kennedi Mathis All rights reserved. Publication Date: April 13th 2015 https://www.bookrix.com/-iu392e405a04f35