text: Teasha Adams All About The Benjamin's Mo' Money Mo' Problems I dedicate this book to all the "Devons" in the world. Don't give up on true love, even if it means your dreams. Don't give up yourself, and never let anybody tell you your worthless. Live it up guys! I'm pretty sure there's someone out there for all of you. 
   
   
    Chapter One: Mr. Wrong  
   
   
   
   Devon 
   
   "Yo' Devon!" I looked up only to see my best friend, Justin, staring at me like he'd just seen a ghost. "You straight?" I looked away from him and down at the microphone in front of me, "I'm good." I said. "I'm good." Justin lifted his eyebrown and frowned, "You been starin' at that microphone for a couple of minutes Dev'." He argued. "You a'int actin' like you good." I glared at him. "I said I'm straight." Justin shook his head. "You a'int been right since Lyric got out the hospital. What's goin' on?"  Carlos, my manager also known as my step father, tapped on the glass. "Devon, take five." I sighed and removed the headphones from my ears.  I stepped outside of the studio with Justin following close behind me. "Look Devon, it's cool if you don't wanna tell me." I grabbed my car keys. "Take a ride with me." "A'ight hold up."  In just minutes, Justin and I were riding through lower Manhattan talking about everything. I told him about Lyric's pregnancy, her Grandmother's death, everything. Half of the things we talked about, he already knew.  I looked over at Justin, "So?" He sighed, "I'ma put it like this. You can't blame Lyric for blocking you out. Since I'm yo' boy I gotta be honest with you." He leaned back in his seat. "Ever since you and Lyric been together, all it's been is drama with you." I glared at him. "You supposed to be making me feel better." "Yeah by telling the truth." Justin said. "Think about it Dev'. Since y'all been together she's been raped, kidnapped, and beaten half to death but she still took you back. Then when you found out Gossip was pregnant, she excepted the fact that you had a baby outside of your relationship." He paused. "Then she was attacked by some of yo' crazy fans, who by the way don't like her because of Gossip. Then last but not least, she went on national television and told the world this story about how honest you are and how you don't lie to her, only to find out that you lied to her about everything." Justin looked over at me and shook his head. "Then on top of all of that, she just found out that her grandmother was murdered on the same day she found out she was pregnant. Now with all of that said, do you understand why she might have an attitude with you?" I frowned, pulling the car into the parking lot of a chinese restaurant. "Whose side are you on?" Justin chuckled. "I a'int on nobody's side, I'm just keeping it real."  As much as I hated to admit it, Justin was right.  Too many times had Lyric been hurt as a result of my stupidity, and time after time she reluctantly took me back. I felt sorry for her in so many ways, but there was no way that I was giving her up. If that meant that I would have to give up career, then I was more than willing to do it. I just wanted my life to turn around and fix itself, but I knew that wasn't possible.  "Yo' Dev' you straight?" I looked over at Justin and shook my head. "I don't know what I'ma do. I wanne give Lyric her space and all, but I don't want to let her go through this by herself." "You gotta know when to let go, otherwise she'll never be able to take time out and get her head together." Justin paused as we went into the chinese restaurant. Luckily, there were only a few customers inside so I didn't have to deal with the whole "Oh my god it's Devon!" ordeal.  We picked a booth in the back and continued our conversation.  "Hopefully with Hazel signing with the label, Carlos will give you some time to get your head together. Then maybe you can spend some time gettin' everything put together." "I know right." Justin shrugged his shoudlers. "Just sayin', but how's everything with you and Gossip?" "Don't even bring up her name right now." I commented. "I hate that girl so much, it's ridiculous. That's another reason I can't spend anytime with Lyric, Gossip always find a way to squeeze herself in my plans. For instance, you know Lyric grandma funeral this weekend right. Lyric decided to have it in Hawaii, so she could release her ashes into the ocean or whatever, but here's the thing. Gossip called me last night and said that I need to take December for a couple of weeks so she can go down to Athens to visit her parents." Justin frowned. "Why she can't take her?" I shurgged. "Same thing I asked, but she answered by saying that her parents were still mad at her for dropping out of college and having a baby by me. It's almost been a year--seriously." Justin sighed. "That's yo' babymama." He laughed.  I shook my head. "It's not funny Jay, you know how I feel about that."  "What you gone do?" I sighed. "I'ma pick my daughter up tonight and hope for the best." Justin shook his head. "Yo' life a mess." "Don't I know it." ************************************************************************************************* Just like I said, I ended up going to Gossip's apartment and getting December. To be honest, I didn't know how she would respond to me. I haven't really spent time with her because right after she was born, I got shot and ended up staying in the hospital for a couple of weeks. She was born two months early, and she was always in the hospital. unfortunately, she probably didn't have a clue who I was. That scared me, but at the same time I was curious to know how she would respond.  When I got to her door, I used my key to get in.  Gossip was folding clothes up and putting them inside of her suitcase, and my daughter was fast asleep in her carseat. Gossip looked up and me and smiled. "Glad your here. Her things are in her room, packed up already. I left a list of things that she needs everyday. Her formula is in the bag in the kitchen, and her diapers and all that other stuff are in the diaper bags. if you have any questions, feel free to call me."  "Wait--You a'int even done packing yet." "I am now." She zipped her suitcase closed, and dragged it behind her out of the door. Before I knew it she was gone. I went over to December, and picked her up. Even though she was sleep, I just wanted to hold her. The more I stared at her, the more I realized how much she looked like me. Hopefully when she get older, she won't have her mother's attitude. I'm just praying she won't end up like her.  I placed a light kiss on her forehead before carefully sitting her back down in her car seat.  Just as I picked up her car seat, my cell phone rang. I looked at the caller i.d and saw that it was a call from Lyric. I sat the car seat back down and answered the phone. "Hello." "Ummm, it's me Lyric." She responded softly. "I was just calling to let you know that I had a meeting today with my professor. I probably won't be home until around eight o' clock." "Eight?" I asked. NYU's campus wasn't that far from where we lived unless traffic was bad, and even then I didn't see how she was gettin' home at eight o' clock.  Lyric sighed and took a deep breath, "Devon, I really don't have time to talk to you right now. I'ma just call you later and let you know where I'm at." With that, she hung up the phone without saying another word.  I stared at the screen for a moment trying to figure out why she hung the phone up on me. Lyric had never been the type to be so disrespectful, but lately it's been different between me and her.  I understand that we havin' our problems right now, but that doesn't mean that I can't be concerned about her. At the end of the day, she's still my girlfriend and she's still pregnant. Honestly, I can only hope that Lyric anger for me doesn't take her far enough to hurt the baby. I can only pray. Lyric 
   Man, I don't know how I'ma make it through these next couple of weeks. This Saturday will be the last time that I'm ever able to see my grandmother, and then I will literally be the only thing left of my family. If I have other family members I wouldn't know. The only other person I knew about was La-La and even then she's only half related to me through my dad.  All my life, it's been about loss. Even before I was born, I was surrounded by nothing but hatred, and evil. Because of my dad's side of the family's hatred for my mother, I was never able to know that other half of my family. Because of the distance from Atlanta to Hawaii, I never knew my mothers side of the family aside from my grandmother.  My grandmother had been raising me ever since my parents passing when I was six years old. Now that she's gone, and I've been sheltered so much, I'm unsure how to make my own decisions. Between this baby, Devon, and this funeral I'm not so sure I'l make it into next month.  I sat my phone down on the king sized bed that Devon and I shared, and pulled my NYU hoodie over my head and reached for Devon's Car key to his Porsche. I sighed and looked at myself one more time in the mirror. I know my grandmother is probably shaking her head at me right now, but at this moment I don't really care. After I talk to my professor and the Dean of Students, a load will be lifted off my shoulders. Lets hope this goes the way I planned.  ************************************************************************************************* As soon as I stepped onto campus I knew I was about to make a terrible mistake. This was my life that we're talkin' about, not some fairy tale story that someone made up. This was real.  Reality was that I couldn't continue to further my education because of what happens in my "private" life. I can't come to school pregnant and expect not to be on the cover of newest tabloid addition. My life had become everyone's business, and its been stressing me out.  Sometimes I can't help but wonder where I would be right now if I'd never met Devon. Would I still be at UGA? Would my grandmother still be alive? I can't help but help about it from time to time.  I took a deep breath and made my way to the dean of students. There must have been at least twenty students out in the waiting area waiting on their appointment with the dean. I had already scheduled my appointment with the dean last night, so the thought of waiting didn't bother me. What bothered me was that I was about to make a decision that could literally affect that rest of my life. Yes, I wanted to graduate from NYU and become a writer, but I didn't know how to handle the pressure of school when I have to deal with fifteen million other things. I haven't been as focused in class as I used to be. Lately, it's been all about me and Devon, and his lifestyle. A lifestyle that I'm not so sure that I fit into.  In life you can't help who you fall in love with, nor can your child control who its' parents are. That's part of the reason why I haven't gone through with the whole "I want an abortion" ordeal. I've thought about it, don't get me wrong, I just can't see myself harming a child that didn't really ask to be here. I have to be strong for the sake of my child, and for the sake of my future. That's part of the reason why I've decided to drop out of school. Maybe later, I'll have another shot at getting my degree but as of now I don't really have to time nor support to do so.  I sat down in an empty chair and picked up the first brochure that I saw. I wasn't even really reading, I just needed something to keep my mind off of what was soon to come.  I want to tell Devon what's going on with me, but I can't find the courage to talk to him. It's hard to confide in someone who is responsible for all of the hurt that you've experienced within the last year. I've been through hell and back with Devon, but for some reason I can't find the strength to even attempt to live without him. I wish I'd never met him sometimes, but I can't deny the fact that I love him and I want to be with him forever. I wish this was all over. "Lyric Mason!"  I looked up to see the Dean standing in front of her office door holding her clipboard. I'd only spoken to her once before, and that was on good terms. I don't know what type of term this is, but I doubt I'll be happy when I leave.  I sat the brochure back down on the coffee table and followed her back into her office.  She sat down on the other side, then I sat. "How are you today Ms. Mason?" I smiled. "I'm okay, I guess." "You guess? You should be positive about your emotions." She looked over at her computer and proceeded to type. "To what do I owe the pleasure of this meeting?" "Well," I took a deep breath and clasped my fingers today. "As you may know, my life is a little bit hectic right now--" "How would I know that?" She interrupted me.  "I assumed you read about me in the tabloids and what not." I answered. She shook her head, "You should never assume."  There was a pause between us, before I continued to speak. "Anyways, my life has been hectic and I'm not so sure if I can continue to attend school and focus on things outside of school--" "Things like what?" She asked, removing the thin framed glasses from her face. "Jobs, relationships---kids?" She stared at me for a moment and I could've sworn she was looking right through my soul and reading my story. There was something so strange about her and the way her light hazel eyes were staring over at me. She grinned and placed her glasses back on her face. "So which is it?" "I thought you didn't know anything about me?" "You should never assume things." She repeated.  "I came to get some information about dropping my classes." I said. "I can't continue to come here everyday and not be able to focus." She sighed. "Well according to my records, your grades are in decent shape. You've just been absent more than enough times." She looked over at me. "Like I said, I have a lot going on and I can't handle this and my personal life." She sighed and turned away from her computer. "Okay, that is fully your decision. I nor anyone else can tell you what to do, so as an adult I will tell you this. Once you drop out of school and decide to come back, it'll be hard trying to catch up. I will not tell you what to do Lyric, but as the Dean of Students it's my job to make sure that everyone of my students are successful here at NYU. Before I give you this information, I need you to be certain that this is what you want to do. I would hate to see you back in my office in a couple of months." "Can't I just apply again?" I asked.  She sighed. "You could apply Lyric, but our waiting list is huge. We get applications from all over the world, including China and India. It would be my pleasure to let everyone here Lyric, but the truth is that it's not that easy. I could put in a good word for you, but that's all about all there is that I  can 
   do." In my reality I had only two options; I could stay in school and try to raise my child and attend NYU, or I could take care of my child first before deciding to come back to school. Option two sounded a whole lot better than option one, but I'd already worked so hard just to complete my freshmen year and get ahead in my sophomore year. This couldn't get any worst for me. 
   
   
   
   Chapter Two: Say Goodbye  
   
   
   Devon 
   
   As soon as I opened the door, I could hear my step-sisters voice bounce off of every wall inside of the studio. Just by the way that she sung, you could never tell that she'd been raised in Africa. By the look on her face whenever her and Carlos got together, you could never tell that they'd just met a little over a month ago. They're life was going just fine, and mines was not good--not good at all.  All the things I wanted, I got but they didn't turn out to be what I thought they would. I wanted love I got it, but what can love do when the person you love can't stand the thought of being near you. I got a career in music, my dream, but how can I be happy when all I see is my face plastered all over the news and on the covers of magazines. I have a child--and unborn--that I'm responsible for and already I've set a bad example. I can't deal with the pain of knowing that yet again, I've caused another death or hurt. What can I do? Carlos looked up at me just as Hazel came out of the studio booth. "Hey there Devon what's going on?" I sat down on the leather sofa and placed my head into the palm of my hands. "I don't know Carlos." I admitted. Hazel sat down beside me, "What's wrong?" She asked. Carlos stood up and then joined me on the sofa.  I looked up at the light on the ceiling, "All my life, it's always been about pleasing other people. Pleasing my dad, my classmates, and even my teachers. It wasn't about me anymore. I've been living my life for everybody else but me, and I'm so sick of it." Hazel and Carlos both looked confused. "You don't get it do you?" I asked. "Sometimes I feel like I was never meant to be happy. I feel like I don't really have a purpose here on Earth and I don't know what to do. I am responsible for not one, bur three human beings. My life is no longer my life, its the worlds' life. I can't do this no more." Hazel wrapped her arms around me. "Well if it helps Devon, you do have a purpose." "Since you know everything, you tell me my purpose." I stated blankly. "Well, my mother always said that every body here has a purpose in life. She said that when god created you, he already had your life mapped out. He knows what obstacles you're gonna face and what your gonna do. He puts you through these test to prepare you for your purpose." Hazel said. "I don't know what my purpose is, I'm only nineteen, but I can say that a part of it was traveling back here to the United States and meeting my dad. Everybody and everything is here for a reason Devon. You can't help what people have to say about you, because there will always be someone who doesn't like you. That's just life Devon, and you have to learn how to live with it. You said it yourself Devon, you have three people that you are responsible for. You can't give up on them--or yourself." Carlos nodded his head in agreement. "She's right Devon. I may not be your father, but in my eyes your my only son. I brought you into this business because I  knew 
   you could handle it. I saw a passion in your eyes that I recognized in myself back when I was your age. I saw  you 
   Devon, not Lyric, Gossip, or Justin. You. I put my time into your career because I saw a story in you that I know the world needs to hear. You may not see it Devon, but there are millions of people out there who look up to you and feel what you say. They listen to you because they know you understand them." Carlos stopped for a moment. "As a matter of fact, I got something I need the both of you to see." Carlos stood up and both Hazel and I followed him out to his car.  ****************************************************************************************** Carlos parked the car in front of an old building that was in serious need of some attention. It was made of dark, cracked, brick's and had about four broken window that were boarded up. Whoever was inside tried to make the place look nice because I could see the bright sunflowers planted out front. I looked over at Carlos, he smiled. "Welcome to paradise." Hazel giggled. "Sarcasm." Carlos knocked on the door first, before an elderly Hispanic woman opened the door. She wore a loose flower patterned dress, with a white apron. Her light grey hair was pulled back into a loose bun, and her frail hands were placed on her hips. Even though she looked as if she'd been worn out, I could still see her beauty. Like Lyric, she also had pretty bright green eyes. Her skin was smooth and tanned, only dotted with a few freckles. She seemed nice. Carlos smiled. "Abuela,¿Cómo estás?" He asked, reaching over and hugging her. A warm smile found its' way onto her face and she returned his hug. "nieto muy bien, ¿y tú?"  Carlos chuckled. "aquí mismo abuela." He responded. "This is my wife Tasha's son, Devon and this is my daughter Hazel. Hazel and Devon, this is my abuela." "Abuela?" Hazel laughed. "I'm African and even I know that means Grandmother. Wow Devon, maybe you need to go back to school." I playfully held my hand up to her face before giving Carlos' grandmother a hug. "Nice to meet you." "Ahhh he's a gentlemen." She said.  "I didn't know you spoke English."  She chuckled. "Never assume my child." She then reached over and gave Hazel ans hug. "Now why did your mother name you Hazel?" Hazel smiled. "Well in Africa, the sun sets beautifully over the horizons making the land appear gold, orange and yellow. After she gave birth to me, she said that it was right at sunset. The sun hit my skin and I appeared to be a little gold speck of joy. So she named me Hazel." "Beautiful--muy bonita."  She then turned and looked at Carlos. "Came for a visit?" "Yes ma'am." Carlos looked over at Hazel and I. "I want to show these two, especially Devon, just how much they're appreciated." Carlos' grandmother nodded her head, "Okay Carlos, but make sure you sign in so you can get your volunteer hours." Carlos laughed. "I know, I know Abuela."  She hugged him one more, "The kids are in the back playing baloncesto, they'll be so excited to see you."  Carlos smiled and led us to the back of the house. I could tell that there were lots of kids that lived here because there were eight bedrooms, and each room had three beds in it. I looked over at Hazel and she said, "Wow."  I could say anything other than that because I knew that as well I was astounded too.  From the front of the house, it didn't seem this big but after getting to the back door, the house was bigger than we thought. It had three levels, and a huge backyard, which by the way was full of teenagers.  I basketball rolled by my foot and stopped in front of Carlos' heel. He picked it up and spun it around a few times before tossing it back to the kids. "Looking for this." I wish I could describe the look on the kids faces when they realized who we were.  "Oh sh-, I mean snap." One of the older boys said. "Its's Devon."  They all formed a circle around us and started immediately asking questions. Sooner or later we were all sprawled out on the basketball court listening to each other talk.  "Devon, how do you know Ms. Cortez?" One of the girls asked. She sat on top of a semi-flattened basketball, twirling here fingers through her long curly hair. I smiled. "Ummm, she's Carlos' grandmother and Carlos is my step father." "Ummm Devon, why do you rap?" One of the younger boys moved closer to me. He barely had any teeth. I'm shocked he could even say my name.  I looked over at Carlos and Hazel, and the both of them gave me encouraging smiles. "Well, I started rapping as a way for me to escape from my reality. I was kind of lost, and unsure of what my future had to hold. All I knew was drugs. Yes, I was a drug dealer at one point in time, but music became my inspiration for succeeding in my dreams. I wanted more than what society had already set up for me. You know?" All of the kids nodded their head at the same time. "Life is a privilege, it's not promised to you. People all over the world know me as Devon, not Devon Mitchell. My family knows how big my heart is, and where my loyalty lies but the world only knows me based off of what they say about me in the magazines." There was a pause between everyone. "The sad part about all of this is that I didn't realize none of that until about five minutes ago."  We all shared a laugh. Before I knew it, we'd been out there with the kids until it was time for their dinner. I didn't want to leave. These kids had so much potential, yet they were put in a predicament that prevented their success.  The oldest teenager there was a boy name Malik, he was sent there because as a baby his parents left him on the doorstep of some random persons house. He's been through more than I can imagine. He'd been molested, abused, and forced into some shit that not even I can account for. I thought I'd seen it all, but the truth was that I hadn't.  Being there with those kids shed a new light on everything that I had ever known while living in Georgia. It shed a new light on me. I thought that me and Lyric has been through it all, but the reality was that we had only seen the beginning of something was bigger than the both of us. You never really know how good you have it until you meet someone, or someones, who have literally nothing.  Before I turned in for the night, I thanked Carlos for taking me to the group home. That was my blessing of the day. Being able to talk about my life and not feel like I was being judged. For the first time ever I didn't mind being asked a thousand times for my autograph. Maybe my life isn't so messed up after all. Lyric 
   When I got home, I went straight upstairs to call it a night. I opened the door slowly and saw that Devon was asleep on out shared king sized bed, with his daughter December curled up in his arms. I couldn't help but smile at the thought. I placed my hands on my flat tummy and closed my eyes. Here I was thinking about killing my child, when I have a man who is willing to take care of me and the baby. I know Devon will give his life for us, but I'm scared. I'm scared of becoming another baby mommma to "Rapper Devon Mitchell". I'm scared.  I opened my eyes and walked into the bathroom. I warm bath would make me feel a whole lot better than I do at the moment. So that's what I did. I took a warm bath, and relaxed. Just to make myself feel better, I sat there and thought of cute names that I could name my baby.  About ten minutes into my bath, a knock sounded at the door. "Lyric, you in there?" I sighed. "Yes Devon." Pause.  "Can I come in and talk to you real quick?" Pause. "I don't care." Devon opened the door, and slid into the bathroom. The lights from my candle bounced off of his face, creating this beautiful shadow on the wall. He sighed and sat down on the edge of the bath tub. "Lyric, something happened to me when I met you."  I looked up at him. "What are you talkin' about Devon?" "I mean damn Lyric, you got me sprung." He admitted. "I love you with everything I every had Lyric. Everything!" I jumped. "Why are you yelling?" "Because I freaking love you." He exclaimed. "I love you, I love you, I love you. Damn Lyric how many times I gotta say I love you before you except me?" Pause.  "I get it Lyric, I fucked up." Devon said. "I messed up big time. I didn't kill your grandmother Lyric, and I would give anything just to have a clue as to who did it. I don't know what happened, I wasn't there. Go ahead and blame me for everything Lyric, 'cause it a'int shit you say now that's gon' hurt me more than I already am. If I could turn back the hands of time I would, but I can't. Me and you gotta fix this Lyric, for the sake of our child. You know I would die just to make you happy. If that's what you--" "Devon please don't say that." I placed my hands on his chest, watching my tears fall on my bare chest. "Please just stop." "I thought--" "You thought wrong." I stated. "I'm scared Devon, not angry." Devon frowned. "Scared of what?" "You!" I screamed. "You don't get it do you. I'm nineteen years old and pregnant with your child. I just dropped out of school, and convinced La-La to help me get signed up for online classes. I'm scared that once I become happy again, something will happen and I'll be right back where I started." "Lyric, listen to me." Devon said. "I just want you to be happy. If you're not happy then, I'm not happy." Devon sighed. "As a matter of fact, I've been sleeping on that couch just to make you happy." I cracked a smile and reached up to Devon for a hug. "I love you so much Devon." Devon wiped my face. "I love you too. I just want you to be happy, and not feel like you can't talk to me anymore. It's me and you against the world--remember?" I smiled. "Forever?" He kissed me softly on the lips. "Forever." I don't know how long I sat in that bath tub listening to Devon talk, but it must have been a long time because the water was starting to get cold.  "Can you help me up?"  Devon reached for my soft pink towel, then wrapped it around my body as he lifted me out of the tub. I felt like a little ass kid. I laughed. "Devon, I think I'm able to take care of myself." He smiled and placed his hand on my stomach, "Really?" "Yes really?" He laughed and ran his fingers through my hair.  I grabbed his wrist, "Shouldn't you be going to check on December?" He frowned. "A'ight I'ma leave you alone, but me and you got a lot of stuff to talk about." I laughed and shook my head. "Bye Devon." It felt good to be able to talk to him again without arguing. I just wanted us to start over and fix our relationship. I needed him now more than ever, now that my grandmother was gone. Let's hope we can make this work. ****************************************************************************************** I wouldn't say that I was back to normal, but I was definitely on the track to recovery. Devon and I had been spending every free time we could get with each other, trying to build on our trust. We figured that was where we suffered the most damage.  Today was just a normal Friday. I was heading over to Justin's house to see my sister La-La, so that we could get ready to fly out to Hawaii for the funeral tomorrow.  La-La and Justin started dating around the same time that Devon and I did. Those two can't stand the thought of being away from each other. Especially La-La. When Justin travels with Devon to different cities, La-La nearly freaks out. I'm used to it by now, so it doesn't bother me nearly as much as it used to.  Their apartment is located about a couple blocks from seventh street New York. It's so beautiful.  When I reached the door, the doorman opened the door for me and let me into the lobby. I'd been here so many times, the staff must've thought that I lived here too. They never asked me to sign into the guest book or show i.d. Justin only had a certain select of people on his guest list, so if yo' name wasn't there then you weren't allowed to see him.  I took the elevator up to the third floor, and went straight to their apartment.  I used my extra key to get in. "La-La!" I yelled.  La-La came out of their bedroom wearing a fitted formal grey Chanel dress that showed off all of her curves. Her bleached blonde hair was let down in loose curls that fell down her back. She wore a pair of solid red Christian Louboutin pumps. She looked so pretty.  "Lyric, is this too much." La-La asked. "Maybe I should just wear my pants suit. You think that'll work?" La-La was talking mad fast, and I could barely understand what she was saying. I grabbed her shoulders. "Wait--What?" I asked.  La-La took a deep breath. "So, I auditioned for that new movie that's coming out next year right?" I nodded my head. "Well, I got the role right. I have an interview today with the director and the leading male role, and I am so nervous. I can't decided what to wear." She looked down at her outfit. "Is this okay?" "La-La, anything you wear is okay." I admitted. "I'm pretty sure they'll love you, just go and be yourself." La-La took a deep breath and smiled, "Awe sister you always got my back." I hugged her and smiled. "We're the only thing we have left." We both sat there quietly, thinking about the funeral that was about to take place tomorrow. La-La smiled. "So I have a couple minutes to spare before I have to leave. What's up?" "Girl, this baby is bugging me." La-La laughed. "Awe leave my poor niece alone." She started making baby noises at my stomach. "Auntie is gonna spoil you." I giggled. "La-La stop it." "What? I can't spoil my niece." She said. I laughed. "How do you know it's a girl." "Girl everybody and they mama know Devon got the girl gene." We both cracked up in laughter. "That's not true, maybe god'll bless me with a boy." La-La grinned. "Well, either way it go I will be the auntie ever." Just as I was about to respond, Justin came in the apartment. He kissed La-La on her cheek. "Bae, don't you have a meeting today?" La-La pouted. "I don't wanna leave Lyric, she just got here." Justin laughed. "Either Lyric, or the movie. Which one do you want the most?" "That's not fair." La-La said as she grabbed her matching red chanel clutch bag. She kissed me on my forehead before leaving.  "Yo' sister is a mess." Justin said as he sat down on the couch. I laughed, "Tell me about it."  ****************************************************************************************** The day had come and I wasn't prepared. Here I was holding the vase that held my grandmother's cremated body. We stood along side the beach on top of this beautiful Hawaii rich black sand. As predicted, not a lot of people showed up for my grandmother's funeral. It was really just me, Devon, La-La, Justin, Devon's parents, Hope, and a couple of distant cousins that I'd never known about. As the preacher asked me if I had any final words to say to my grandmother before I let her go.  I promised myself that I wouldn't cry, but I couldn't hold the tears back. "When my parents died, they left you with me. To raise me, and make sure that I didn't end up dysfunctional or worst--a criminal. My parents left you here with me, and you did a fantastic job at raising me. All through my life, you've shown me right from wrong and helped me at times when I thought I'd give up. You were there." I took a deep breath, and wiped the tears from my cheeks. "I miss you so much Grandma and I hope you can hear me up there. Thank you for everything, and I hope that maybe one day we can see each other again. Me, you, mom, and dad could all be a family again. I just want you to know that I love you and I will always be thinking of you."  I looked over at the preacher to let him know that I was done.  "In honor of Ahulani Ipo Kealoha, we release your remains into the tides of mother nature and let the waters carry you forever. May you be with us Sister Ahulani." I stepped up to the beach, watching as the tides rushed against my feet. I wiped one last final tear before turning the vase over and letting my grandmother get carried into the sea. As bad as it hurt that my grandmother was dead, it felt good to know that she would finally be able to be with my mother and my grandfather again.  I stepped away from the beach and ran straight into Devon's arms. La-La wiped my face and wrapped her arms around both Devon and I. My cousins wished me their condolences, then it was over within a few minutes.  Within an hour, I was back in my hotel room thinking about my grandmother and how just a couple weeks ago, she'd been talking to me. God, I miss her. Devon came in the hotel room and sat on the edge. I was over on my side, stroking the pillow and blowing my nose. He looked down at me. "Lyric, you need to really get out and get your mind off of things." I could just die right now. Devon 
   Watching Lyric lay there, lookin' like she was seconds away from having an exorcism, broke my heart. I didn't know what to say to make her feel better, all I could do was be there for her. I took off my shoes and climbed in bed beside her. I held her tightly. I could hear her sniffling. I kissed her on her cheek, hoping that maybe she'd turn over and talk to me. She didn't. She stayed in that same position for the rest the night.  In the morning I convinced her to go to the beach with me. "We don't have to get in the water, we can just walk on the shore if that's what you want." Lyric grabbed my hand and followed me outside. Justin and La-La were already outside sitting under a huge umbrella and eating ice cream. Hope was in the water playing with Carlos, and my mother was in her hotel room putting on sunscreen.  Lyric stopped as soon as we reached the door. "Aren't you gonna get December?" "You sure?" Lyric nodded her head. I kissed her on her temple. "Don't go nowhere." Lyric sat down in a chair, and I darted up the stairs to my mothers hotel room. Luckily, she was coming down the stairs, holding December in her carrier that she wore on her chest. December was wide awake, looking around at everything. "I was just about to come get her." I said. My mom shook her head. "How's Lyric holding up?" "Ummm," I looked down the stairs at her. "I'm not sure. It's weird though." My mom patted my shoulder and helped strap December onto my chest. "Devon this thing is weird, so you have to hold her up a little. Otherwise, this thing will slowly start to slid down." We shared a laugh. "Alright you have fun, and don't hurt her." "Tell yo' grandma to stop worrying. Daddy got this." My mom laughed and went downstairs.  I met Lyric downstairs, and she smiled.  "Oh, now you laugh. I've been trying to get you to laugh for the past 24 hours, and now you laugh?" I joked.  She was cracking up so hard, that she could barely get the words out of her mouth. All she could do was point at me. "Oh my god Devon, what the hell do you have on?" "Lyric shut up. It's not funny." I said. "You know I gotta keep her in this thing so I don't have to carry her around everywhere that I go." Lyric looked at me and shook her head. "You just made my day and I don't think you noticed." I smiled. "That's what I'm here for." Lyric reached over and stroked December's soft cheeks. "She's so cute Devon."  "Just imagine what our baby's gonna look like." Lyric smiled. "I know right. I kinda wish my grandma was here so that she could see the baby." I smiled and grabbed Lyric's hand. At this point, I didn't care what paparazzi had to say about me or Lyric. I didn't care what people thought. I figured, as long as I had Lyric by my side I was gonna be alright. This girl was more than a girlfriends. She's my inspiration, my heart, my soul. She's my everything.  I reached over and placed a small kiss on her forehead. "Your grandmother is in a special place where she can see, feel, and hear everything. She'll always be in your heart no matter what the situation is." Lyric smiled. "Thank you so much." 
   
   
   
   Chapter Three: Paparazzi  
   
   
   Lyric 
   
   I wasn't even back in New York for a full day before cameras started harassing us. I wasn't in the mood to talk to nor deal with the paparazzi. Devon wrapped his arms around me, and helped me back to the limo. It was weird--you know--walking pass all of those people as they shouted different things at us. They were asking too many questions.  "Lyric, is it true that you are pregnant with Devon's second child!" I heard one reporter yell. "Lyric, are you pregnant?" "Lyric, is it true that your grandmother just died." I kept my shades on and lowered my head away from the cameras. If there's one thing that I will make sure of--is that my daughter won't have to run away from these cameras the same way I do.  As Devon and I got into the limo, we could still hear the reporters outside. I took off my shades, and unbuttoned my blazer. I was so sick of running around with these tight outfits on. Carlos told me that it'd be best if I don't reveal my pregnancy until we're able to get on national television. He said that it's better if we let them all know at once. Slowly, my stomach had been starting to swell up. I wasn't humongous, but it has gotten to a point where you can physically see that I'm pregnant.  "Mr. Mitchell are you heading home or to the office?" The driver asked, looking back at us through the rear view mirrors.  Devon looked over at me before responding. "To the office. I gotta meet up with Justin and Carlos."  The driver turned around and then I looked at Devon. "I'm so sick of hiding it Devon. I'm so uncomfortable right now." I reached down and continued to unbutton my blazer. "Ugh!" Devon laughed. "Lyric, Carlos is gonna get us an interview with Marcus so you can finally stop wearing these tight ass outfits." I frowned. "Shut up." Devon placed his hand on my stomach and kissed me on my cheek. "I'm just trying to make light out of the situation." He responded. I understood that part but at the same time, I really wanted to curl up in my bed and go to sleep, then maybe this would all be over. ****************************************************************************************** I guess we lucked out because when we got back to the house, Carlos told us that we were scheduled to be on national television today. My feel were hurting from this six inch stilettos that I had on, and my back was sore. I was ready to lay down.  We arrived at the studio about an hour later. I was dress in a see through cream colored button down shirt, and a pair of burgandy true religion skinny jeans. On my feet I wore a pair of nude colored pumps. The make-up artist has given me nude make-up so it didn't look like I was wearing make-up. My hair was straightened down my back and curled on its end to reveal my blonde extensions underneath. I thought I looked pretty good.  Devon the other hand was wearing a white no limits entertainment t-shirt, and a pair of dark denim straight legged jeans. He had on a fresh pair of bred 11's and a matching red snapback. Around his neck he had on three diamond chains and a matching rolex.  I was done with my make-up, so I stood next to Devon as they put make-up on his face. He didn't need much but he still had to wear it.  I smiled and winked at him. "Yo' this is crazy." He said, grinning back at me through the mirror.  The make-up artist moved out the way to examine her work. Once she was satisfied with the results, she stepped away. We had about ten minutes until we went on set.  Devon pulled me closer to him, positioning me between his legs. "You ready?"  "Yeah, I guess so." I kissed Devon on his forehead, watching as he massaged my swollen tummy with his hands.  Devon giggled. "I can feel the baby moving around in there." I giggled. "It feels like I have butterflies in my tummy." "I love you so much." Devon looked up me.  I kissed him softly. "Okay, you two cut it out." I heard Carlos say.  "Hey." Carlos sat down next to Devon, examining hisself in the mirror. "Kissing leads to pregnancy." He pointed at my stomach. I frowned. "Ahehehe nothin'." Devon let me go.  Devon 
   "Next on stage is hip hops most talked about couple, give it up for Devon and his girlfriend Lyric." The crowd clapped as Devon and I came on set. Devon held my right hand and I waved with the left one.  The host, Jolina Johnson, greeted us both with a hug and a kiss on the cheek.  "Thank you for having us." I said. "No, thank you." She said. "It seems like you two are everywhere nowadays." Devon grinned. "I hope its in a good way." The audience laughed. "So tell us about this rumor," She started. "Are you two having your first child together." I nodded my head. "Yeah, we are." "Girl or boy?" "We don't know." We both answered at the same time.  She smiled. "So hows your older daughter doing Devon." Devon smiled. "She's fine. She's in that phase where she copies everything I do." He paused, "It's great seeing her smile." "I know the feeling." She turned to me. "Tell us about life now that you're pregnant. I heard you dropped out of school." "Life is still the same." I answered honestly. "Its true, I did drop out of school. My life has to be devoted to this baby that I'm carrying and I didn't think I would be able to take care of a baby and go to school." Jolina looked at me and nodded her head. "Now, I heard that you recently lost your grandmother. How have you been handling that whole situation?" I promised myself I wouldn't cry at the mention of my grandmother. I looked over at Devon.  "I understand if you don't want to talk about it." Jolina said. "I'm sorry." I said. "Ummm I umm been trying hard to deal with it. My parents died when I was six, so my grandmother was the only family that I had left." "Don't you have a sister?" I nodded my head. "I do have a sister. but she's only my half sister. We don't have the same mom and dad."  The interviewer turned towards Devon. "We've been trying to get an interview with you since your album dropped. How has that been going?" Devon smiled. "Good. I haven't been able to leave the country yet, but hopefully one day I will."  "I'm glad you haven't left the country. That way I can watch you." Jolina laughed. "You hear that ladies, Devon is off limits." 
   
   
   
   Chapter Four: My Baby  
   
   
   Devon 
   
   "Lyric, this is actually a good shot of you." Devon said from behind the camera. Me and Lyric were doing a photo shoot in Miami along with shooting my new music video. Ever since we announced that we were having a baby, almost every magazine company wanted to write a story about us.  The last picture Lyric took was actually pretty good. She was dressed in a light blue denim button down shirt and a pair of black jeggings. On her feet she wore a pair of five inch ruby red stilettos. She had her right hand on her stoomach and her foot on top of a baby carseat. She wasn't looking at the camera. She was looking behind her almost as if somebody was watching her.  Her hair was crimped in loose wavy curls and it was blown back behind her so you could see her facial structure.  Lyric smiled and me and waved. I blew her a kiss back.  "Okay Lyric, we're done." The photographer said. She ran over to the camera and took a seat on my lap. "Can I see the picture?" She asked. He showed her the picture.  "I look so--mommyish." I kissed her on her cheek. "You are a mommy." I rubbed her stomach and kissed her again.  "Okay, Devon you ready?" He asked, as the crew members got set up for the video shoot. I nodded my head. "I'm ready." Lyric gave me a thumbs up and took my seat beside the director.  ________________________________________________________________________________________________ When we got back to the hotel room, Lyric laid down almost immediatly. She said she was tired and she wanted to lay down. I understood her dilemma cause she had them heels on all day, and we had been at the studio all day. I didn't really see why she still wanted to wear heels anyways. If she knows her back and feet bother her all day, then why wear uncomfortable shoes.  While, she slept, I got on my laptop so I could skype with December. Gossip been leaving her at my house a lot, so she's always with my mom. I don't know whats been going on with Gossip lately but she been acting real foolish. One minute she hate me, and she don't want me to see my daughter. Next minute, she swear she in love with me. Not that I care about her feelings, its just that I get pretty annoyed sometimes when a female start acting crazy over something that's not even serious. I typed in my name on Google, and the first thing that popped up was my biography. I clicked on it, just to be curious, and read it.  
   
   
   Publication Date: March 8th 2013 https://www.bookrix.com/-dwaynewade3