text: Bianca Ramirez Why Me.? Don't trust just anyone. To the ones who can relate being betrayed and ending up brokenhearted for blindly trusting someone. 
   
   
   September 9, 2013 
   
   It all started first day of eighth grade. I walk into the main entrance of my school along with an old classmate. We're directed to the school cafeteria, where the rest of the other eighth graders are. I walked in and I go to my class table 806. I sit and wait.  
   
   
   After a few minutes my teacher tells me to go to 814's class table. As I sit with strangers I look around and see that we're being walked to our first class. I stand and follow the rest. As weird as it seems I saw my cousin's ex girlfriend, apart of my class.  
   
   
   Walking to the double doors in the back I see a familiar face. I saw him a lot last year, he's my best friend's friend. He stands just in front of the do 
   or wearing a blue and white sweater, black hat that shows off his hair "flip". He stands tall about 5' looking around. As i get closer my face turns red and hot, butterfly's start fluttering in my stomach. I'm so nervous my legs start to shake, and I forget how to walk for a second. 
   
   
    When I walk past him I think about him, his face, his hair, his clothes. After a while I get distracted and no longer think about him.  
   
   
   
   
   October 5, 2013 
   As each day of school went passed, I found myself talking to my cousins ex girlfriend, we became friends. Our lunch period is shared with the fucking entire eighth grade. I noticed myself searching the unfamiliar faces for him. I found him, and I learned his name from my Best friend. He is a Mexican with fairly cinnamon colored skin. 
   He had silver braces, dark black hair and the most sexiest voice. He always crossed my mind. My face always turning red as he walked by. He made me forget what I was I initially going to do. A friend I no longer interact with anymore, is in his class, 809. I tell my best friend, and my cousins ex, my crush.  
   
   
   
   October 8, 2013 
   I become closer with my cousins ex girlfriend, I now call her one of my best friends. My best friend starts helping me with my crush. The more I see him around the more I find myself thinking about him. He soon crossed my mind and never left. Later I learn that a not that ugly guy added me on Facebook. 1 mutal friend, my cousins ex. 
   He started talking to me as if he knew me I was like 'woah who the fuck are you', I don't really have a lot of friends, so I talk to him. Before he says good bye, he says I'm cute. I take the compliment and say bye. I asked my cousins ex about him, she just smiled and said be careful with him. Confused I nodded. 
   
   
   
   October 11, 2013 
   I saw my best friend this morning. She was walking to her first period class. I walked up to her and tapped her. She turned around as I said hi. She smiled and told me some good news.., well great news. My crush wants her to bring me to him at lunch so we can officially meet. I smiled bigger than ever, blushing. In my head I was like " Holy fucking shit.! Yeass.! Oh shit I gotta talk to him.! Shit.! I can't do this.!" I told her " I can't." She looked puzzled and asked me why not, I explained that I'm nervous. She calmed me down by saying she was going to be at my side. As we walked she said good bye and walked in her class, I proceeded to walk down the hall to the last classroom on the left. I walked in and sat down, later I noticed I was drawing his name all over my notebook, hearts with his name and our names together. I don't know what we did in class that day, being completely in Lala land the whole time.I was thinking  "Damnit what the fuck she teach" when I walk to my next class. 
   Later that day at lunch I was sitting with my best friend mentally preparing myself. We got up and walked towards his class table, the closer we got the faster my heart would beat. I chickened out and walked passed his table to the back doors. I stopped and told my best friend I was ready. She grabbed my wrist and walked me over to him. He stood and faced us, she grabbed his wrist and made our hands touch. I felt the room get hotter, as I nervously said Hi. He said Hi back and I awkwardly stuttered as I said " Umm..so she brought me here, uh.. So hi ". He said " Soo..uh., how are you doin'.? " I said good, and asked the question in return, he also said good. 
   Then he asked how I've been, I replied okay. We awkwardly paused for a few seconds until he saw he friend walk up to us and look at us back n' forth. My crush asked his friend what he wanted. His friend smirked and said " Nothing ". Then his friend yelled " He likes you.! He wants to marry you.! " My crush a quickly said " Shut the fuck up yo.! " as he punched and pushed his friend away. I started to giggle and watch him. I blushed more because of what his friend said. When his friend finally went to sit down, my crush apologized. I said it was okay smiling at him. 
   Noticing he looked nervous, I said I had to go, also because we were standing there in an awkward silence. I smiled as I said bye. He smiled back and said by. Forgetting how to walk I almost fell as I turned to go to the bathroom with my best friend .  
   
   
   
   October 15, 2013 
   Yeas.!!!! 
   At lunch today I walked to talk to my crush. Not really willingly since I was almost beingf dragged there, I was nervous. My friends left me alone with my crush and his friends, I asked him if we could walk. We walked about 5-7 feet away from his friends in the middle of the school yard. We said about three words before we had an uncomfortable silence. Taking a huge risk to break the silence, I managed to say " Well uh..you're cute and stuff.." Luckily he said thanks, and said " Um you too.." I blushed and said thanks.  
   His friends soon came to crowd us and stare. I looked at them like "What the fuck you want" Me and my Crush looked at them as they said " Ohh no, no continue.." With a slight smirk. My crush made them go away, and allowed only one of his friends to stand within 3 feet of us, because he wanted to listen. One of my guy friends started to whisper to me, telling me to ask him out already. I continually said " No shut up ", most girls want the guy to ask them out, like me. My guy friend asked me if he could talk to his friend, my crush, I said sure and looked at my friends, who were starring at me in a group. My crush's friend, The observer who wanted to listen, came to me and asked if I liked his friend. I said " Noooooo I'm standing here this nervous for no reason" sarcastically. He asked again and I said " Yeas " being more clear. 
   When my crush returned he said " So are you nervous.?" I said " Yeah.." Then he walked to my side and he said " There's a question being talked about.." I walked with him as I said "Mhm". He looked at me and said " Would you like to go out with me.?" I said " Yeah..kinda" with a smile, mentally freaking out in excitement. He asked me if I wanted him to walk me to my class. I said yeas and bit my lip.  
   When we got to my class "The observer" came to talk to us before I went in. He looked at him and he asked if he was going to ask me out yet. My crush told him he did already. He then looked at us back n' forth saying " You did.!? He did.!?" I smile and we both said "Yeas.!" He said "Oh" as my teacher made me walk in class. We said bye. 
   I walked to my cousins ex and I told her. We hugged, squealed, and started jumping.  
   I replayed the moment in my head, drawing the date in my notebook with hearts all around it.  
   Walking out of school I saw him and we walked out together. He goes right, and I go left, he awkwardly left me not realizing that I don't go the same way. I said bye awkwardly loud and he turned to look at me and I waved bye. He said bye and I kept walking. I was so happy I couldn't believe I finally had the guy I really really liked. I'm that lucky to have him and be happy. He's a nice tall sexy Hispanic guy. We loom so cute together. Hehe I really really like him. I'm just so happy he's mine 
   
   
   
   October 17, 2013 
   At lunch in the schoolyard, I was hanging out with my boyfriend. We talked a little about ourselves and awkwardly stood in front of each other nervous, my face as usual was red. 
   He walked me to my class again but I chose to walk to his class with him. We were along the wall talking when one of my friends walked over to us and told me he's supposed to walk me to class, not the other way around. I giggled. She grabbed my arm and said " Come on let's go to class" I said okay, and said bye to my boyfriend, before he said bye to me my friend said " Ey, to you guys gotta hug" I looked at him, then I blushed as we hugged. I smiled and bit my lip when we let go and said bye.  
   When school ended, I saw him walking out of the building and we walkeds out together. We hugged as we walked in different directions. 
   
   
   
   October 19, 2013 
   I'm at home talking to my boyfriend on Facebook, I have family over for my dads birthday. It was twelve o'clock so it was October 20th. But around 11pm on the 19th, was the first time i called him " Babe ". When i called him that he called me " Boo " I liked when he called me that. After a while My boyfriend said he was going to go to sleep. After talking for about an hour. I said okay but I have to tell him something. 
   He asked "Wha" 
   I said " Well.." Nervously deciding if I wanted to do this.  
   He said " Wha "  
   I said " Te amoo <3 " (I love you in Spanish)  
   He said " Well me too <3 :) " 
   I would have preferred him saying I love you or te amo but that's okay too. Some people say " Me too" so basically the same thing. I was just happyt I said it, and that he basically said it back.  
   Maybe I should have waited awhile before telling him I love him, or waited till he said it. 
   
   
   
   October 22, 2013 
   My best friend started acting weird when I told her I was talking to that not so ugly guy from Facebook. When I was walking with my boyfriend in the school yard, she came up to us and said " You better stop. I'm warning you." I told my boyfriend not to believe anything she says because she's just mad at me for no reason. He said okay confused. I knew why she was mad. I was talking to her  boyfriend.  I didn't know he was her boyfriend when I started talking to him on Facebook. I walked with my boyfriend to class hugged and said bye. I was angry at my "best friend" like who the fuck does she think she is telling me who I cant talk to, "Warning" me.! I'm going to do what I want. He's my friend. 
   
   
   
   October 23, 2013 
   This day. I can't bare it. I don't ever want to remember this day. That fucking bitch that called her self my best friend told all the girls in my class I was cheating on my boyfriend, with hers.! What the fuck.! I didn't see my boyfriend all day, and I had no clue she was saying that until 6th period in the school yard. I noticed my boyfriend avoiding me in the handball Court. I was wondering what she did, then it was clear when his friends came up to me and said " Yo, I heard you're cheating on my son" I was shocked, angry and scared. I yelled " I'm not" and went to that bitch. I was yelling at her and cursing her out. I knew my boyfriend heard the rumors, I tried to stay strong. I knew what I was going to do later, and exactly what was going to happen.  
   I sat angrily in my 7th and 8th period classes. Almost crying in 7th. Imagining what was going to happen. I wanted to talk to my boyfriend after school, like I did before when we walked out together. His class was dismissed before mine. I didn't know where he was. I tried to stay calm. 
   As I got home I ran to my room, I grabbed my laptop, got on Facebook, then I looked at my chat. He was on. I worrily waited. He messaged me, " Hi ".  
   
   
   
   Later That day 
   I messaged him back saying " Hi. I'm not cheating on you" not thinking. He asked me what's going on. I told him nothing and that I wasn't cheating. I should have explained everything. He said " I think we should go separate". 
   My eyes welled up with tears, them slowly one tear rolled down my cheek. Soon my eyes were waterfalls. I was crying my ass off, screaming into my pillow. We talked a little, and he asked if were Gucci to be friends. I told him I guess. He left me on seen. 
   I starred at my screen, in disbelief of what just happened. I was crying, in a fetal position, by myself in the dark.  
   I just wanted to die. I cried since 4:18 pm, til 10:30pm., only because I fell asleep. The tears wouldn't stop. The pain grew stronger. Ripping my heart in two. I didn't want to talk to anyone. No one could help me ease the pain.  
   That bitch will fucking pay for this. 
   
   
   
   The Next day 
   I was being called a slut. Some of the girls in my class starred and looked at me like I was some sort of whore. I tried not to cry. Walking through the halls I avoided eye contact with him, his friends, and everyone who knew about it. I could bare walking through the halls without thinking of it. Every thought crushed me. While that bitch was walking around happier than ever. 
   And for what.? Her boyfriend broke up with her for causing problems with me. I hated her and her ex. If he never had talked to me this wouldn't of happened. One little secret about him, he was cheating  with  her and she  knew . Their relationship was a " Secret." Fuck him. Fuck her. She will pay for this. I blame her and him. They don't get to be happy. 
   She doesn't get to be happy. She better watch. I'm never letting this go. I love my ex-boyfriend soo much. Thinking about what happened makes me sad then remembering who's responsible for it gets me so pissed off.  
   
   
   
   Few weeks later 
   I'm completely in love with my ex still. I haven't forgotten. I hate her and I'm always pissing her off. Like to day she was being mean too my newly found friend. We became friends when I explained to her what happened because she said I kinda deserved being dumped. She wasn't being mean though, she's nice, short and sweet.  
   So in 7th period I flipped off that bitch for yelling at my friend. She told the teachers and they asked me if I flipped her off. I lied and said No. They asked my newly found friend and like a good friend she lied and said that I didn't. Well I. Not sure if she saw me though.  
   But me and her were walking to 8th period when the bell rang. We walked through the double doors to the other hall way, where there were 3 classrooms within. That bitch was waiting for me In the corner to pass her. As I walked passed she "attacked" 
   
   
   
   The fight 
   Well obviously she tried to somewhat jump me. Waiting for me to pass her while she was hiding in the corner, trying to get the slightest advantage. 
   She jumped kinda and grabbed my hair. I put my stuff down and turned around facing her while she tried to land a punch still pulling my hair. I grabbed hers and clawed her head. She wouldn't let go. I slammed her against a wall and tried to knee her in the face. I did but not hard enough. 
   Swinging her head around she didn't let go. Kids surrounded us and the team leader grabbed me as the principal grabbed her. As they pulled us apart she let go, I ripped her hair out. Like no bitch I'm not letting you go. The team leader held me until they took her away. I wrote an incident report. I saw with the vice principal so I said " Mañana mueres" ( tomorrow yo die). The last bell rang and i was escorted out of the building. I went to my car while the dean watched making sure no other problems were caused. 
   
   
   
   3 months later: February 2014 
   Its been awhile since any "activity" fights or arguments with that bitch. But other things have happened. 
   February the month of The famous Valentines day. Today the 12th my ex-boyfriend messaged me on Facebook for the first time, since we broke up in October 2013. 
   It was nervous causing. My hands were shaking, he said " Hi, can I talk to you.?" I was scared. I knew he wasn't going to ask me back out though, that's sucks. 
   But anyways he basically told me to get over him because I'm wasting my time. He said it in the nicest and sweetest way. I couldn't be mad or sad. I was just happy that he said something.He told me to tell that bitch not to talk to him on Facebook, in public or make eye contact. He made me laugh with that. We agreed that she's awful and that we hate her. 
   I shortly explained that I didn't and I'm sorry for everything that happened. He apologized too and told me to stay safe. He didn't say anything else.  
   
   
   
   March 2014 
   Well this bitch is starting with me again. It didnt get physical though, not yet. I haven't had my revenge yet. In 7th period today she walked in the class before it started, 
   looking like she wanted to cry. 
   She told her friends that her boyfriend was ignoring her and didn't want to talk to her. I walked by her a said " Heartbreak sucks doesn't it ". She turned around and started yelling at me. She called me a bitch.  
   But I was standing there laughing at her. It sucks when you're the one being heartbroken huh.? Stupid bitch. The guidance counselor came and took her, then came back for me. She sat in her office satingf what happened. She was trying to get me in trouble. 
    It didn't work. She was the one being yelled at by the guidance counselor that she makes a problem out of nothing and she has zero people skills.  
   She also told her she will grow up and have no friends, and have alot of problems in highschool. I was trying not to laugh. It was so funny. The counselor escorted us back to class, I walked in laughing. My 7th period teacher moved my seat. But I don't care. New seat was concentrating loneliness.  
   My 7th period teacher made me stay a few minutes after class to avoid a fight in the hall again. My tall friend walked with me like a body guard. She asked me if I could tell her what happened the day she started the rumor. 
   I explained, painful details, and was in a bad mood after. I hate talking about it. 
   
   
   
   Today•March-12•2014 
   It hurts. It was only 8 days...but guess what I don't care. I was crushing on him since September 9, 2013. I fell in love with in October 2013. No one understands the pain I feel thy e sadness that fills my heart. Or the sorrow that fucks with my mind. I love him. Whether he loves me or not. It sucks because I know he doesn't love me. He made it very clear. & it hurts but, Hey shit happens. I can't even be mad that we broke up, like I should have did something but I curled up in a fetal position and I cried. That day I cried myself to sleep. Tears came like a damn waterfall. The tears never stopped. When I think of it now I don't cry a waterfall, only a tear or two roll down my cheek, still filled with pain and sorrow. I feel the pain when I remember. I feel broken and destroyed like I'm unable to love anyone else. Stuck. I guess I'm okay with that, I know I can't wait forever but it it'll take forever then I'll wait. I see him and I smile, then I remember. All flashbacks fill my eyes with tears. One by one rolling down my cheek filled with pain. The pain I can't bare anymore. I can't sleep. I can't think. I can't do anything without the thought of him being once mine running through me. Every thought making me burst out in tears, screaming in pain as if I was stabbed in the heart several times. It's to the extent where I can actually the pain, coming out of my thoughts through my eyes. It mocks me. It kills me, I may be smiling around him like I don't give one single fuck about what happened but inside I'm completely broken, and slowly dying, I can't take the pain off losi g his this way. Why did this happen to me and him.? I don't know. I wish it didn't. I wish I could take back every stupid mistake I've made, and anything I could have don't to end up suffering like this. Does anyone know how long its been since I was in his arms.? Since we went out.? Since he felt the same way.? Since I fell in love with him.? With his face, his eyes, his voice, his smile, yeas his braces too. All his flaws and Imperfections.? I don't care if he's not perfect. To me he is, and I couldn't of found anyone more perfect. I see all his good and bad, it makes me love him more. If he knew how much he means to me maybe he'd love me again. Or at least start to like me again. I love him so much. It hurts that he doesn't know and doesn't feel the same way. If I told him how I feel what would he think.? That I'm crazy.? Obsessed.? A liar.? Thirsty.? I know he won't believe me if I told him how much he means to me.  
   The one and only person I blame for ruining everything is that dumb fucking bitch. She better not of forgotten that I haven't fucked her up yet. She doesn't get to be happy ever. She. She did this to me. 
   
   
   
   The End 
   That's it.! Thank you if you read it all the way through. This was based on an actual problem. The entire story is true.I was the girl in the story, I didn't cheat on him, I really love him. It's been about 6 months since we broke up. I still see him, and very rarely talk to his friends. 
    I do however ignore him in the hall, I know he trys to ignore me too. So I thought why not make it easier for him. I still get nervous and forget how to walk around him but I'll get through it. But I'm struggling to.  
    If it was boring, well its my first try at writing a book.  
   
   
   Publication Date: March 12th 2014 https://www.bookrix.com/-rn5bf2d261c0235