text: Charles Dufresny The Village Coquette 
   
   
     
   CHARACTERS: 
  The Baron 
  The Widow, his neighbor 
  Argon, another neighbor 
  Girard 
  Lucas, farmer 
  Lisette, the coquette 
   
   
  ACT I 
   
  Girard (holding two letters and reading them) From Paris. To Monsieur Le Baron of Hamlet. Let's take care of this  letter for him. He's not at home. (putting the Baron's letter in his  pocket, he opens the other letter) And the other's for me, Girard. I  dare to hope that the list of winning lottery numbers is in this  letter. Right, my cousin, the master printer in Paris, favors the role  I've taken. Love is my guide in this roguery. With this false lottery  list I am going to obtain Lucas' daughter as my wife. 
   
  Widow (entering) I am waiting for Mr. Argon. Why hasn't he come? 
   
  Girard (reading the letter) From Paris. "My dear cousin, before having distributed the list of  lottery winners, I've sent you a false list, as you asked me to do, so  you can have a big joke in your village. You can make your rival  believe that Farmer Lucas won the grand prize of one hundred thousand  francs." With this, I hope to obtain my Lisette. Lucas, believing his  fortune made, will cede me his lease on the farm. He's the type to be  caught in such a snare. At bottom, it's for his own good. By making me  his son-in-law, he can't lose. (to Widow) But, why are you standing  around dreaming? 
   
  Widow Because Mr. Argon is supposed to come find me. 
   
  Girard He'll be here soon. He's still in the chateau. 
   
  Widow I'm getting impatient. 
   
  Girard What for? You're not excited by a tender love. It's an old lover, and  you should wait without impatience, coldly. 
   
  Widow Shut up, Girard. Shut up. You know how I value him. 
   
  Girard To believe an old man is an old grey beard is no big crime. I honor  him more, being his collector. The collection is small and for you,  with all my heart, I wish I could pay him a one hundred thousand francs  of income. 
   
  Widow That would be too much for me, a former maid. That's what I was when I  was in Paris. But here I have a higher rank which I obtained from my  late husband, a head magistrate. Thus, I've been ennobled in this  village, a fine nobility at bottom and which is worth a good bit, a  nobility that one can take to Paris. 
   
  Girard Let's renew our discussion and talk of Lisette again. Because, having  so much power over her, being her neighbor, and a sort of surrogate  parent, you are working hard to turn her into a coquette, instead of  making her wiser. 
   
  Widow Language of Paris. That's what will make her perfect. 
   
  Girard Some perfection! Alas, you make her worse, when you come here to  refine her wit. You make her heart more false and more vain. 
   
  Widow At nine years, she was already a coquette in embryo. I have only  pointed her in her natural direction--so her beauty will not prove  worthless and she will profit by a fine marriage. I only want Lisette  to be wise. She's naturally exquisite, and I've simply added to her  talents all that I have learned. 
   
  Girard With so many perfections you will make her a prodigy of coquetry. 
   
  Widow So much the better, I tell you. That's what makes beauty and wit  valued. We've argued about this so many times. By coquette I mean a  girl who is very wise; who knows how to take advantage of other's  foibles; who always exhibits sangfroid in the midst of dangers. One  who profits from opportunity which she knows how to manage and uses  her reason when we lose ours. A wise coquette is more knowing than  anyone else because she is always exposed and always in a battle. One  cannot deny that the strongest virtue is one that undergoes and survives  the hardest tests. The coquette has prerogatives much more beautiful than  a prude's. That beautiful right is the right of being happy. A prude,  in her life, marries, but once or twice, but the clever coquette never  marries at all. She flatters, she raises hopes, she promises, but she  never gives in--thus through her wisdom leaving each one to his love  and desires, she makes pleasure last. 
   
  Girard In my opinion Lisette is making my pain too harsh. It's useless to  complain to her father, alas, complaining is no good. He scorns me. 
   
  Widow Yes, because you are leaving your condition in life. You are  soliciting my relative and you are only a flat foot. 
   
  Girard Very flat-footed, right. But, without belittling myself. Do I owe  Lucas respect? He owes me some, perhaps. But now each of us rests on  his pedestal, and for a collector to be the son-in-law of a farmer,  it's by right of the game. 
   
  Widow Good. It's an old game. Regretfully, I see your scheme is in ruins.  Lisette repents of having considered you, and she says she no longer  intends to have Girard. Now, the proud father and daughter find that  your fortune is too recent. Everywhere you find ungrateful hearts, as  in the village, even with regrets. But, during some times, gamble,  pilfer, respect, trim, clip, loot and loot again. By force of conceit,  you will come to listen. 
   
  Girard Today my love appears bold to you, you blame my scheme. Listen, what  is the mystery? I have, for more than a month, prowled, spun around,  run about. And in my absence, alas, what has happened? My eyes are  opening at last. Lucas is coming. I leave you. Until we meet again. 
   
  (Exit Girard.) 
   
  Widow Go to whatever hurries you. 
   
  (Enter Lucas.) 
   
  Lucas O fortune, fortune, when will I catch you? You always fly from me. 
   
  Widow Always fortune on the brain? 
   
  Lucas Yes, for it hates me. I do this, I do that--labor all my life. Labor  for this one, labor for that one. I work for thirty years. After  thirty years, here I am. To labor for another, it's small palliative.  To work for oneself, that takes courage. To even everything up  wouldn't it be right for the others, in their turn, to work for me? 
   
  Widow Lucas wishes to reach the heights. 
   
  Lucas Suddenly, yes, to find myself there, as in a miracle. I've got the  character for it--no matter how hazardous. I gamble, win some, lose  some, it's only that it doesn't make one happy. I've played double or  nothing out of boredom. I have forty tickets for this lottery. 
   
  Widow That's a very prudent way to place money. 
   
  Lucas Yeah. Because I love big lotteries. I am going to make my fortune that  way. 
   
  Widow You will make your fortune through your daughter. The Baron loves her  more and more. 
   
  Lucas He's becoming hot. But my daughter lacks the feeling to marry him. 
   
  Widow She's shrewd and subtle. 
   
  Lucas It's beginning to make him keen. 
   
  Widow And, the Baron, who's only a village Baron, hasn't, as you know, much  brains. 
   
  Lucas Not necessary to say he's a stupid, because all the world knows it  well. But Lisette can hear us. Come on, daughter, come on. Madame and  I were talking about how your wit satisfies her. She said you were so  subtle, said you were so knowing. 
   
  (Enter Lisette, listening.) 
   
  Lisette (pretending naivete) Father, I don't know what she thinks of me. 
   
  Lucas So much the worse, my daughter, so much the worse. 
   
  Widow Today, you've joined some ornament to your simple country dress. 
   
  Lisette It's to please the Baron, as you advised me. I am making myself over  to be loved. I am obedient, and I intend, to please you, that he marry  me quickly. So, that's why I added to my costume today. 
   
  Widow You'd have made him love you, that's already done. But to make him  marry you, you must double dose him with sighs, looks and little  manners. Put to work my recent lessons. We shall try to please at  first by simple attractions. A little affectation, lowering your gaze,  being quiet, appearing embarrassed. A cold blooded man, seeing a great  deal of simpering, will believe less what he sees. He will suspect,  examine, and discover the pretence. But, when the dupe is taken--be  affected without fear. The grossest kinds of affectation, far from  quelling, charm his passions, and he seeks out the beauty of nature. 
   
  Lucas I don't understand half your fine preaching. (dumbfounded) But what  you say must be good, for you amaze. 
   
  Widow Lisette understand perfectly. 
   
  Lisette Not so much as you think. You have taught me well, speaking to me of  these looks which make women so refined. But I am not so refined. I  cannot do as they do. 
   
  Widow Oh, you will go far. You know how to please, and how to pretend. 
   
  Lisette You deceive yourself. I contradict myself in no respect. I please the  Baron without feigning to please him. If he is deceived, I can never  be. When I speak contrary to my thought, one can see in my manner that  I am embarrassed. 
   
  Widow The Baron could, by a tender turn about, mention again the contract he  made the other day. He is changeable, peevish in his tenderness. Think  to profit by his day of weakness. Has he promised again today? 
   
  Lisette Alas, no. 
   
  Widow He must have thought it over. It's his day to be reasonable, his good  day. But we will recapture him. To make him sign, it's only needful to  make him wait. If something can hasten this happy day, it's pretence.  Pretend a violent love. 
   
  Lisette Alas, I will pretend badly. 
   
  Widow Then, I am uneasy. I intend to marry as much as Lisette. Monsieur  Argon occupies me and I am going to see him. If he keeps his word, it  will be all over today. (exits) 
   
  Lucas You must pretend the widder lady says, and you don't know how to  pretend a pretense. You say everything that comes into your head and  that's a mistake. Have the virtue to lie a bit. You don't know how,  and that upsets me. 
   
  Lisette Oh, console yourself, father. If I am still stupid, I am not really  stupid. I know how to pretend better than the Widow thinks. I have  some tricks she hasn't seen yet. If I always tell her I am innocent,  and that, despite her lessons, I am ignorant, it's all on purpose so  she will be proud of me. 
   
  Lucas Oh, you know what you're doing and I cannot complain of you. 
   
  Lisette You are going to see how I intend to make a fortune. 
   
  Lucas Fortune is our master. 
   
  Lisette It is true--it is our master. But, if he should fail me? 
   
  Lucas Ha! Ha! I see well what you intend. So as not to lack one, you will  have two. 
   
  Lisette Yes, at least, father. That's what I'm doing. But the other has less  wealth, which annoys me. For Monsieur Baron--here's what I fear--his  conversation does not entirely please me. I have spoken to him a lot  in pretending to be innocent. No, for marriage he has no plans. He  says he wants to stay single for ten more years. 
   
  Lucas To remain single--oh, oh. He wants to marry you, so you can remain a  virgin? 
   
  Lisette To understand him, the loves of a nobleman for girls like me does us  much honor 
   
  Lucas No, no, of these nobles, love without marriage takes honor from girls  that nothing gives back. 
   
  Lisette One has much wealth, but he will deceive me. The other hasn't very  much, but he will marry me. 
   
  Lucas The other is this Girard, correct? 
   
  Lisette Fie! 
   
  Lucas I'll say fie to him. If he comes round, I'll kick him out. 
   
  Lisette Kick him out? Ah, be careful. Let him be in love--that costs nothing.  If the others fail, he may make his fortune. Who knows? 
   
  Lucas Well said. So, there's to be three for one. But, who is the new one  who you say is certain? 
   
  Lisette If he marries me, the Widow will be very chagrined. 
   
  Lucas (astonished by degrees and then understanding) The Devil! 
   
  Lisette I will take her chance. 
   
  Lucas Death! 
   
  Lisette For I will break her marriage. 
   
  Lucas Astounding! 
   
  Lisette It is going to astonish you. For I will have the wealth intended for  her. I will marry her lover. 
   
  Lucas (crying out) My Lord! You will ruin her. She loves you as if you were her daughter. 
   
  Lisette Can I do otherwise? I said no, at first. I really would have preferred  not to wrong her. But she has given me lessons in fortune hunting.  I've got to take advantage of my youth like others. The other lesson  she gave me recently was to love at first for one's profit. I love the  Widow, but-- 
   
  Lucas But, you are able to love what profits you? These lessons are her own  fault, and she deserves it. 
   
  Lisette I'm in despair. At bottom, I have a good heart. I would prefer for her  to marry the Baron. 
   
  Lucas Yes, for he's more rich and you will gain by the change. In the case  of the three lovers, here's how it goes: The Baron's worth more than  Argon, he's got six times his money. Argon's better, worth more than  Girard, and Girard's better than nothing. 
   
  Lisette He's like nothing, yes, but with respect to the other two, we will  keep your plans and mine secret. 
   
  Lucas Yes, better to be secret. For these two good spouses won't be married,  if they know about each other. 
   
  Lisette The Baron's returning. 
   
  Lucas Yes, I am going to do what you told me. 
   
  Lisette Pretend to be enraged. We must see if he will marry me. 
   
  (Enter Baron.) 
   
  Lucas Oh, that's definitive. He'll marry you to death, for he looks  thoughtful. 
   
  Baron Lucas intends to leave me. This disturbs me. How can I bear not to  see Lisette any more? 
   
  Lisette (after having spoken low) Yell very loud, then leave without speaking to him. 
   
  Lucas (loud so that the Baron hears) Yes, I intend to leave our master, and I'm going to start going about  it. 
   
  Lisette (pretending to be very angry to leave the Baron) No! Don't leave him! 
   
  Lucas I have told him, and I am no traitor. I've told him of it a while ago,  and I'm going. 
   
  Lisette To leave to find a master! 
   
  Lucas As you are growing up, it's a cruelty to stay here. In a village, you  lose your time and your beauty. You can merchandise your youth better  in the Paris marriage market. Yes, I will take you to Paris, and very  soon, because time presses. Although a vertigo irritates me  momentarily, what I want is only reasonable, and I shall be as bold as  brass. (pushing his hat onto his head and passing before the Baron) I  am upset to leave him, but death, I shall console myself. (exits) 
   
  Baron He was very abrupt with me on a frivolous subject. Has he gone crazy?  What can he intend to do? 
   
  Lisette (twisting her handkerchief) I will never see you any more. I am in despair. 
   
  Baron There's always some shadow maiming fortune. 
   
  Lisette He's wrong, for, sir, I see what he is hoping. 
   
  Baron He would suddenly become a great lord. 
   
  Lisette (looking tenderly at the Baron) Yes, to see me a great lady, and that is my misfortune. He imagines  something that can't be. The daughter of a farmer is not for his  master. 
   
  Baron You will be with me as if you were my own child. 
   
  Lisette Oh, sir, that's not what he has in mind. 
   
  Baron I believe he intends to pay me less rent. 
   
  Lisette He intends something far different. 
   
  Baron Yes, what a repayment. 
   
  Lisette (starting to cry) No, that's not what one day you said; that day you were full of love  for me. You intended, you said, to write a promise. You no longer love  me! 
   
  Baron That day was like today. My feelings were full for you. I love you,  Lisette. 
   
  Lisette And, if I still must leave? 
   
  Baron Of my love, you will have a sure pledge. A contract. 
   
  Lisette (stopping her tears) Today? 
   
  Baron A marriage contract. It's already written. I did it right away, first  thing. Second thing is to sign. 
   
  Lisette You won't sign it? 
   
  Baron I will sign. 
   
  Lisette But, when? For my father is taking me off. He is so proud. 
   
  Baron My word is reliable. 
   
  Lisette I believe you, but my father-- 
   
  Baron Yes, I will give you my oath. 
   
  Lisette (crying again) Don't swear to me. I believe you already. But my father-- 
   
  Baron I will go appease him. I swear to you. 
   
  Lisette (crying and holding him by the arm) No, he's going to take me off. Of that I am sure. 
   
  Baron No, no. I am going to keep Lucas. 
   
  Lisette (pretending to be outré with rage against him) It's I who wish to leave, because you don't love me! 
   
  (Exit Baron.) 
   
  Lisette (suddenly stops crying) No--this is only a deceiver, who thinks me innocent. I must soon take  my relative, the Widow's, lover. He has no wealth. That's my last  resource. But, he's coming to the garden to speak to me. Let's  continue. I played the naïve and tender. Now to play the dreamer. 
   
  (Enter Argon.) 
   
  Argon Yes, Lisette is going to return. (he turns to look closely at her) How  pretty she is, dreaming. How many charms I see. She sighs. Good! I  feel that she is for me. What are you dreaming of? 
   
  (Lisette, after having let Argon look her over, pretends to be  astonished to see Argon so near her.) 
   
  Lisette Oh! You've startled me so! I was dreaming--that I have so much  freedom--suddenly in the garden. 
   
  Argon That's what charmed me. You've already told me, not that I am loved,  but that you will soon love me. 
   
  Lisette I am confused by what you are thinking. I ask pardon. To love you  would be to lack respect for you. 
   
  Argon Lack respect? Yes, I intend to. A too respectful love obtains nothing. 
   
  Lisette But, I don't love. Speak more. Encourage me, then. 
   
  Argon To give you courage, I make a contract. But, complete my wishes. 
   
  (The Widow enters and listens.) 
   
  Argon Add a word to your looks, your sighs. This word is a great word. Tell  me--"I love you." 
   
  Lisette I've told you a hundred times--and to myself, a thousand. 
   
  Argon To yourself? 
   
  Lisette Alas, yes. 
   
  Argon What naivete! 
   
  Lisette Why hide it from you if it is the truth? 
   
  Argon Behold love. Behold pure sincerity. This calls me to love, like  nature. There, Lisette, here's the role I have taken. I intend to take  you, in secret, to Paris, for I will, at first, marry you secretly.  Let's hide all from the Widow. She would be jealous of it. I will  marry you without her knowing anything of it. In her place, in a word,  you will have all my wealth. 
   
  Lisette I want nothing from you, but your person. Give her all your wealth. 
   
  Argon But, if I give it to her, what will the two of us and our children  live on? 
   
  Lisette I don't want it for myself, but you'll need it. 
   
  Argon (taking her hand) There, let us separate. No, stay here. 
   
  Lisette I am staying. 
   
  Argon Go--and be in the nearby woods in an hour. (he kisses her hand) Go  quickly. Wait! The marriage is made. 
   
  Lisette (perceiving the Widow) Ah! All is discovered. 
   
  Argon I am an indiscreet fool! 
   
  (Exit Lisette.) 
   
  Widow What have I heard? I am struck mute with shock! 
   
  Argon And I! I am mute with shame. From frankness, I am going to admit to  you that what you have seen--I am wrong. The marriage I contracted  with you ought to prevent me from making another. But, as friendship  alone made ours, it would seem love is stronger. Still, I was wrong to  betray you thus. But, if you know how Lisette loves me, from  friendship for me, you yourself would say--marry her, sir, I freely  consent. What pleasure, at my age of fifty-four years, to be loved for  myself. Yes, only for my person. For she refused my wealth which I  would give, only wanting me. But, I am doubly wrong to betray you, to  anger you. From prudence, I ought never to speak of Lisette. Yes,  Madame, I am wrong, a hundred times wrong. But she will be my wife. 
   
  Widow I cannot recover. This blow is overwhelming. I excuse Argon. At  bottom, he loves blindly. As for me, I really deserve for Lisette to  deceive me. But, for this marriage--it is necessary that I break it.  Were the good Argon never to marry me, let us try to disabuse him-- from friendship. 
   
  CURTAIN 
   
   
  ACT II 
   
  The Widow is overwhelmed with chagrin. Girard is holding in his hand a  packet of letters for the Baron. He separates one letter and  substitutes another. 
   
  Girard Without breaking the seal, and without compromising myself, I half  open the Baron's letter and replace the false with the true. My hand  trembles for this is my first attempt in falseness. 
   
  Widow (dreaming, not listening) Argon will marry Lisette? 
   
  Girard He will never marry my charming coquette. This will see to him--as I  told you. 
   
  Widow Very good! But, let me digest my spite. The one who married me,  marries my coquette. Was this what I raised Lisette for? With  impunity, Lisette has played me this trick, when I instructed her to  pretend love. I was the plaything of her apprenticeship. I thought  she would absorb no malice from the instruction I gave her. Just a  little grain of it for perfection. I ought to have realized from my  own example, that malice, once seeded in a woman's heart, profits,  multiplies and grows like weeds. 
   
  Girard In malice, Lisette is fertile, yet I love her, I adore her, and I will  make her my wife. But, what am I saying? I ought to remember, Madame--  (ironically) that you don't give Lisettes to Girards. As I am only a  tax collector, I ought through respect for you, her, and myself, to let  her marry your lover. 
   
  Widow At her age, to manage, under my eyes, three lovers at the same time!  Coquettes of Paris and coquettes of the country--some ready language,  some trickery. My word, all is equal for coquetry. 
   
  Girard (ironically) You intended to give her to some great lord. 
   
  Widow Ah, I will give her to the devil, with all my heart.  
   
  Girard I beg you for preference over him at least. 
   
  Widow So be it but at least provide me some confidence that you will  succeed. 
   
  Girard You know all. We must lure our credulous, stupid, avaricious,  and amorous Baron with this false lottery into offering Lisette  marriage, and if she accepts, for Argon to see she's engaged. 
   
  Widow Lisette ought to give up Argon for the Baron. The Baron is rich and  the trick is so good. 
   
  Girard Yes, but I mustn't lose Lisette. 
   
  Widow If Argon is undeceived, I will be satisfied. 
   
  Girard May he see her half-married to the Baron. 
   
  Widow Completely married, if necessary. 
   
  Girard Completely? Hell, no! 
   
  Widow He's coming. 
   
  Girard My insurance which I well know how to use-- 
   
  (Enter Baron. Girard presents a packet to the Baron.) 
   
  Girard I am returning from the post office and I have the honor to give  the gentleman what he asked me to bring. 
   
  (Exit Girard.) 
   
  Baron (to Widow) Neighbor, my love is going to make me despair. Lisette intends to  leave. 
   
  Widow I take the place of mother to her. I guarantee her tender, wise, and  sincere. You don't know how much she is worth. She wants a contract,  that's her only fault. And, you don't wish to make one. 
   
  Baron I intend to marry her. Who told you otherwise? But, to do such a  thing, the later the better. I will marry when I am much older. 
   
  Widow Eh! You are old enough, sir, for a wife. 
   
  Baron I am very irresolute. I blame myself for it. Ha, ha, good, this letter  is from one of my friends. It's for the lottery we've all subscribed  to. 
   
  Widow Is it, then, published? 
   
  Baron Yes, exactly. It's the list. 
   
  Widow I am sure to win. A physiognomist has seen great sums of money on my  face. What I must do, he told me, to earn it, is to buy a lottery.  It's the most prompt way to win for a wise woman. 
   
  Baron Hum! Hum! I know, by heart, the puzzle of each. The numbers, the  names, I don't see one. Let's read-- Ah! 
   
  Widow What's the matter? 
   
  Baron Something I see irritates me. 
   
  Widow What is it, then? From where does this sudden dolor come? 
   
  Baron Lucas: one hundred thousand francs. 
   
  Widow To the farmer, the Grand Prize? But, let's see. Reread it. Is it,  indeed, his name? Lucas? 
   
  Baron I am not the master of my scorn. 
   
  Widow Grand Prize to Lucas? You are ruining us, traitor. 
   
  Baron To Lucas, the Grand Prize. 
   
  Widow You won't allow it. Oh, Fate, unjust Fate, that Lucas be enriched. 
   
  Baron I cannot recover. His good fortune desolates me. 
   
  Widow (pretending a quick thought, accompanied by joy) But, let us rejoice and laugh. 
   
  Baron Are you crazy? 
   
  Widow No, at first we both had a stupid inspiration. It's surprised us. 
   
  Baron Well? 
   
  Widow You are angry that chance has just enriched Lisette's fortune.  Fortune, on the contrary, is favoring you. It has determined to make  you happy. 
   
  Baron Oh, oh! 
   
  Widow For the money, and without any love, these days, the most noble marry  Lisettes. 
   
  Baron Right, one hundred thousand francs would pay off my debts. This motive  and love will excuse all. 
   
  Widow Yes, but you must marry instantly, before this lottery becomes known.  This is delicacy. She will believe she owes your tenderness more.  Lucas will get the Grand Prize, but while he is unaware of it, the  fool must be taken, so that he gives all his wealth to Lisette.  Wealth, present and to come. 
   
  Baron Yes, but be discreet. I will say that I am taking Lisette without a  sou. 
   
  Widow The joke is that everybody will believe you're a fool. 
   
  (Enter Lisette.) 
   
  Baron Here, Lisette, here. 
   
  (The Widow goes to find Lisette, who listens from the depths of the  theatre.) 
   
  Widow Your fortune is made, Lisette. It is I who am procuring it. Hug me,  Lisette. 
   
  Baron Your tears have softened me, Lisette. I surrender. Let's sign the contract  as quickly as I can inform the notary. 
   
  Lisette (aside, while the Widow and the Baron talk in low voices) Do they wish to deceive me? For I understand nothing. (she dreams  profoundly) 
   
  (Enter Argon.) 
   
  Argon (aside) An explanation would be very nice here. 
   
  Lisette Ah, here they both are. All is lost. What to do? 
   
  Argon (to the Baron) What did Girard warn me? But, it's your custom. I've often seen you  boast of love. You believe yourself loved by Lisette, then, sir? 
   
  Baron The proof of this is that I am making her my wife. 
   
  Argon Girard made no mistake. You intend to overwhelm her with your  wealth. But she cannot betray her love for me. 
   
  Baron She hasn't any love for you. I swear it. 
   
  Argon It's you who flatter yourself to a fault, I assure you. 
   
  Baron I tell you, she has never loved anyone but me. 
   
  Argon I am sure of her heart and her good faith. Decide between us to finish  the dispute. 
   
  Baron I disdain it. Repeat for the one hundredth time that you love me  tenderly. 
   
  Lisette Me, tell you that? Truly, I take little care, sir. It is from respect  that I let you speak. I believed, at first, that you were boasting, to  laugh. But, without offending you, sir, I will tell you, I have no  love for you, nor will I ever have. 
   
  Baron What? Why? 
   
  Widow What does she say? Ah, how great is my shock! 
   
  Baron What do you say? 
   
  Argon Must she tell you again? 
   
  Baron What? Haven't you said a hundred times that you love me? 
   
  Lisette Me? No. 
   
  Argon (charmed) What naivete. 
   
  Widow (angry that Lisette has not fallen into the trap) What do I hear? 
   
  Baron What? Your tears, your sighs? 
   
  Lisette Were lies. 
   
  Argon I know my neighbor. Without a doubt, it is a dream that he has seen  you in tears and heaving sighs. At his age, while sleeping, these are  pleasant notions. 
   
  Baron But, I haven't dreamed what you have written. 
   
  Lisette It's my father, and Madame is there to tell you so. 
   
  Widow I am enraged. 
   
  Argon I know Lucas is ambitious. He prefers your wealth; for you're worth  more to him. But, besides, I believe her--what likelihood is there  that Lisette, who always says what she thinks, has spoken to you of  love, when she loves me? 
   
  Lisette What are you saying, sir? I have believed, in good faith, that you  spoke in jest that you love me; but this joke is not true. 
   
  Argon Eh--what? 
   
  Widow (aside, delighted) What is her plan? Does she dream, or is it I who dream? 
   
  Argon It's in vain that you still think the secret is necessary. (to Baron)  We made a secret of our love. (to Lisette) Speak, I permit you to  speak freely. 
   
  Lisette If you permit me to speak freely, I don't love you. 
   
  Widow She's frank enough about that. 
   
  Argon How indignant I am! 
   
  Baron By God, I've my revenge. 
   
  Argon But, I understand nothing. Speak clearly, I wish it. Tell them that  you intended to manage us both. 
   
  Lisette I had no intention of managing either of you, I assure you, and you  can see it quite well. 
   
  Widow That's speaking plainly. 
   
  Lisette For, hold on, I prefer my liberty, a hundred times, to all your grand  honors and quality. To be the wife of a great lord, I would be a  servant. As for your kindnesses, of which I am cognizant, pardon me if  I refuse them. In a word, both of you wish to marry me, but I will  never marry either one of you. 
   
  Baron There's your dismissal. 
   
  Argon It is also yours. 
   
  Baron I cannot recover from my astonishment. 
   
  Argon Leave her, forget her, that's sufficient to punish her. 
   
  Baron Well said. No more love. 
   
  Argon Yes, we scorn Lisette 
   
  Baron (to Widow) She has a hundred thousand francs which I still regret. 
   
  Widow (low) Keep it up your sleeve. We are going to speak to her. 
   
  Argon (low) Madame. 
   
  Widow Well, sir? 
   
  Argon Would you go get a notary to come to your house? We are going to  conclude our business instantly. 
   
  (Argon exits.) 
   
  Widow (to Baron, low) He abandons her, for you that's the main thing. I am going to rid you  of a rival. 
   
  Baron No, I don’t understand at all. 
   
  Widow Neither do I. But, prudence dictates that one go in the greatest  hurry. 
   
  (Exit Baron and Widow. Argon returns from the other side, and looks to  see if the Widow sees him.) 
   
  Lisette (dreaming, alone) I think--yes, from what I've seen, I've done well, I believe. When  they are with me, by themselves, as they will be, I will know what to  do to have them back. 
   
  Argon (aside) The Widow is already far away. Let's Let's penetrate this mystery. From  scorn, I have banished all animosity. I return solely from curiosity,  to see what reasons you will have to give me. 
   
  Lisette Permit me to laugh, seeing you so angry. What? Didn't you see what my  plan was? 
   
  Argon (enraged) No, I didn't see it, and all subterfuge is in vain. 
   
  Lisette I told the Baron the truth, without ruse or subterfuge, for fear he  would continue in his mistake. I didn't wish to deceive him. 
   
  Argon (still enraged) I understand perfectly. But, why speak to me as to him? To refuse me?  Me? Me? 
   
  Lisette Let's talk about him first. You see me delighted. I have punished that  liar the way I have quite wanted to. 
   
  Argon (still enraged) But me, me? 
   
  Lisette Patience. He wanted to marry me today, and my father is on his side.  And you wanted the jealous Widow to see that I love you and will marry  you. If they knew that I can love you they would get me locked up. 
   
  Argon Ha! Ha! 
   
  Lisette Truly, I would have completely spoiled the mystery. You told me  yourself before to keep quiet. 
   
  Argon You've done very properly. Yes, you're right, and I am the fool. To  deceive the Baron--yes, I see the pretence is prudent and useful. 
   
  Lisette I believe, too, well done, at least. 
   
  Argon How charming Lisette is. I am not blind, I see clearly that Lisette  prefers me to a far richer man. What love! What wit! 
   
  Lisette I have no wit. Love has added to my customary want of it. 
   
  Argon We must secretly-- 
   
  Lisette Yes, but let's separate. I will go alone, in secret, to your place for  a short while. 
   
  Argon Without your father-- 
   
  Lisette He's coming. Leave me, for I tremble if the Baron and he should see us  together. 
   
  (Exit Argon. Enter Lucas and the Baron.) 
   
  Lisette (aside) Here I am sure of one, but he's my second choice. Let's retake the  other one. He's back to speak to me. 
   
  Lucas She must have gone crazy and what she said astonishes me. You say she  doesn't love you and refuses to be a Baroness? 
   
  Baron (to Lisette) You have just revived my wrath. Ah, how I ought to kill my love for  you. How can you, at your age, have the audacity to give me the lie-- me, and look in my face, and tell me that you don't love me? 
   
  Lisette (pretending to have a grudge against him) Yes, I have maintained it to your face, for it is true. 
   
  Baron Without doubt, it happened unexpectedly to you, some vapor which  disturbed your senses and memory. For how else could I believe that,  after the ardent love you've shown me? 
   
  Lisette (adding to her simulated scorn) I never loved you. 
   
  Baron Still? I am outraged. You have told me a hundred times, and before  your father. 
   
  Lisette I never said it to you. 
   
  Baron She makes me despair. 
   
  Lisette (softening) No, never, or at least-- 
   
  Baron At least? 
   
  Lisette If I said it, I repent it so much. I have so much scorn, that if I  said it, I will say the contrary, always to the whole wide world, to  yourself, to my father. (pretending tenderness) What the world will  know, that I loved you, and that, when I cried from love, you didn't  want to marry me. No, no, and against you, my courage has returned.  Me! I love you? I would indeed have little heart. My love was honest  and yours was deceitful. 
   
  Lucas (who has softened, taken in and almost crying) I've seen--she's right. 
   
  Baron Then it's from rage, suspecting my love is not sincere, that you  have told me you don't love me? 
   
  Lisette Yes, exactly. Am I wrong? 
   
  Baron You love me then? 
   
  Lisette Alas! 
   
  Baron Let's forget all this, Lisette, let's go quickly to a notary. May a  contract be the prize of your sincere love. Let's hurry. 
   
  (Exit Baron.) 
   
  Lucas (transported with joy) Quickly, quickly! 
   
  Lisette (low to her father, holding him by the arm) Let's go softly. 
   
  Lucas I'm going to be papa to a Baroness. 
   
  Lisette Oh, I doubt it. 
   
  Lucas Why? He's making you his wife and says so. 
   
  Lisette No, I can see some trick. 
   
  Lucas He marries, and that's that. 
   
  Lisette I don't believe a word of it, father. 
   
  Lucas To not believe the wedding, when it's come? 
   
  Lisette I believe he's deceiving me. First, I saw the Widow when Argon spoke of  the business in a fret with Girard. Raging, despairing--and now she's  just embraced me, knowing that I deceived her, she comes to caress me. 
   
  Lucas Yes, it's treason. 
   
  Lisette The Baron refused me. Then, suddenly, he changes and wants me. 
   
  Lucas It's a trick. 
   
  Lisette (after having dreamed) If the Widow and Girard, who know how to trick, said to the Baron:  pretend to marry her and as soon as she agrees, won't Argon be  disgusted? 
   
  Lucas Oh--that's it! I see clearly. 
   
  Lisette (dreaming again) For me, I don't see. For, on the other side, perhaps the Baron really  wanted to marry me. That would embarrass, no, yes, the more I think  about it-- May I have enough wit and not be too clever by half. 
   
  Lucas Listen to my good advice. I have marvelous ideas. For, in the state  where things are perilous, you have wit, but in a family affair, a  father, as they say, is older than his daughter. Here then is my  good advice. Let's go find the Baron. He's the most important. 
   
  Lisette No. 
   
  Lucas No? 
   
  Lisette No. 
   
  Lucas It's the second who is good. Lets go find Argon. 
   
  Lisette No. 
   
  Lucas Then I don't know any more than an animal? Oh, my third advice,  it's to have a tete-a-tete. 
   
  Lisette Go find the Baron alone. 
   
  Lucas Yes, I understand. 
   
  Lisette And, I alone am going to find Mr. Argon. You finish one side, I will  finish the other. 
   
  Lucas Wow! That's very good. I will marry them both before the notary. 
   
  Lisette As for me, when both contracts are drawn up--I will see. The first  one to sign--that's the one I'll take. 
   
  Lucas You will take hastily. It's the chance of the game. Let's sign two  contracts soon, for fear we will lack one. 
   
  Lisette Mr. Argon's waiting for me. I'm off. 
   
  (Exit Lisette.) 
   
  Lucas (alone) Go, quick, go. But how can she get that all out of her own head? I  believe she must have two brains, for she always amazes me. Yes, she's  only my daughter. By God, her wit is already far ahead of mine. 
   
  (Enter Girard) 
   
  Girard (aside) Let's latch on to the father. I risk nothing, for without him the  Baron can conclude nothing. By making him read this phony list,  let us disturb his head. Let's throw the dice. (counterfeiting the  newsboys) Lists, lists of winners! 
   
  Lucas Lottery winners! Let's see a bit. What did you say there? 
   
  Girard Let's see if this lottery came out good. 
   
  Lucas What do I see there? Don't I see the seal? 
   
  Girard Clever. Are you curious? (putting the list on the side where Lucas is  not) Read here. 
   
  Lucas Very well. But show me better then. 
   
  Girard To an avaricious reader--oh beautiful thought. May a happy fool with a  lucky number-- 
   
  Lucas Ha, ha, that's it! 
   
  Girard Yes, it is. Hum, hum. 
   
  Lucas Let's see that. 
   
  Girard (turning the list to the other side) With pleasure. Let's see. 
   
  Lucas Eh! I can't see anything that way. 
   
  Girard (turning the other side even worse) Let's read. Let's see. Ah! 
   
  (Girard is moving and raising and lowering the paper so Lucas can't  see.) 
   
  Lucas (with a little joy) What is it? Show me then, friend. 
   
  Girard No. I was mistaken. But, hum, hum. I hope-- (letting Lucas see the  paper) God, I don't see a thing. 
   
  Lucas Ah, by God, I see. Let's see quickly there, Girard. I see something  about me. 
   
  Girard (hiding the list) No, it's nothing at all. 
   
  Lucas (joyfully) And I have seen. My name is there! 
   
  Girard Take it easy. You probably have won nothing. I will give you a hundred  francs at best. 
   
  Lucas No, no. I've seen what I've seen. Lucas, it's my name. 
   
  Girard If you have, at least I want to be reimbursed. Return my money, it's  my only resource. 
   
  Lucas All right. Show quickly. 
   
  Girard It's one of the numbers. It's at least a thousand francs. I have seen  several zeroes. 
   
  Lucas Several zeroes? I intend to see as many as grains of sand. 
   
  Girard You're a man insatiable for zeroes. 
   
  Lucas (joyous) Ah, it's ten thousand francs. 
   
  Girard Curious, yes, I see. But, if that isn't the numeral? 
   
  Lucas By God, I'm really frightened. 
   
  Girard Let's confirm. 
   
  Lucas (thoughtful) Yes, there it is, the fifth. 
   
  Girard (giving the list) Read it over, and calculate it yourself. 
   
  Lucas (taking the list, upset) My heart beats--beats. I am quite transported. I'm afraid to have seen  double, and to have counted too many. One, two, three, four, and five. 
   
  Girard Let's say-- 
   
  Lucas (upset) One, two, three, did I say three? 
   
  Girard Yes. 
   
  Lucas Ah, I see the number that's formed. I'm a bit overwhelmed. 
   
  Girard In short, Lucas has the Grand Prize? 
   
  Lucas Ouf! 
   
  Girard (relaxing) Relax. Take off your coat. 
   
  Lucas The Grand Prize! 
   
  Girard Since one is rich, one must get a little better clothes. 
   
  Lucas One hundred thousand francs! 
   
  Girard How much we'll drink at Lucas' place! 
   
  Lucas Let's go quickly to Paris. 
   
  Girard I will get you a carriage and horses. 
   
  Lucas Ah, I believe I'll die of luxury. Let's see the lottery quickly, so I  can see myself first again. 
   
  Girard Are you going to remain a farmer? 
   
  Lucas (indignant) Me! A farmer. 
   
  Girard Forgive me for saying the word. I quite see the question is crazy.  Well, give me your rents. You won't want them. You'll be a great lord.  I am a poor devil, and your loyal friend. You will give them to me for  this good news. 
   
  Lucas Yes. Get me a carriage and horses that go very fast, very fast. 
   
  Girard Yes, like birds. But, at first, in passing, let's stop at the notary  to give me the rents. All right, father? 
   
  Lucas Yes, I won't need it myself. I will leave you all the rents from my  timberland. I am going straight to Paris to get some nobility. 
   
  CURTAIN 
   
   
  ACT III 
   
  Argon is trying to avoid showing himself to the Widow, who grabs him  by the arm. 
   
  Widow I will prove it all to you. Can you doubt it? But, stay one minute, at  least to listen to me. 
   
  Argon Time presses. I have Lisette and the notary together. If Lucas appears  I will finish the business. In love, moments are precious to an older  person. 
   
  Widow If you marry, a quarter of an hour later, you will have time to be  tired of Lisette and to repent a foolish act. Pardon the word, it's  from friendship for you. My zeal is not mixed with any jealous  transport. Better if you never marry me or the coquette. Be undeceived  and I will be satisfied. Eh--can you remain blind. I will prove to both  you and the Baron how she trapped you at once reconciling, by the same  management, traitorous simplicity and naïve lies. By the cleverest  tricks and the most lively manners, she's figured out how to get love  without giving any. She cold-bloodedly talks in the most tender way  and pretends with effrontery to be timidly embarrassed. Tears which go  right to the heart and which bother her not at all. She abuses his  weakness and yours. In offering you one hand, she gives him the other.  Thus a French coquette delivers perfidy with both hands, and if she  needs it will find another hand for a third. 
   
  Argon You've said it twenty times. But for the hundredth time, you still  must prove it. 
   
  Widow Speak low. I see the Baron and Lucas. Keep aside and you will perhaps  be able to see that not only Lucas prefers his master to you, but also  Lisette. 
   
  Argon Let's see. I would be undeceived. 
   
  (Argon goes to the side. Enter Girard.) 
   
  Widow Well? 
   
  Girard Lucas is occupied with his Grand Prize. 
   
  Widow But, does the Baron intend to marry-- 
   
  Girard Patience. I am given all the rents in advance. For it is I, who have  managed all. Lucas is metamorphosized into a great lord. Since he has  seen the lottery, his sudden riches trouble his head, and have changed  his type. He has nothing human remaining except his form and his  pride. Grave, deciding with a wink of his eye, disdaining to speak or  speaking by sentence. He believes people applaud his silence. Saluting  with his big head, puffed up, swollen, Lucas has become subtly  inflated with a contagious disease. He can be seen thrusting his paunch  two steps ahead of himself. 
   
  Widow In that case, Girard, we must-- But Lisette is running this way. Mr.  Argon is following her. Things aren't turning out right. 
   
  Girard No. 
   
  Widow I am going to join Argon right away. Amuse these two here. 
   
  Girard All that one plans, does not succeed. 
   
  (Exit Widow. Lucas is walking in grandly. The Baron, hat in hand,  follows Lucas, who puts his hat back on first.) 
   
  Baron Yes, I beam with pleasure that fortune has fulfilled your wish. 
   
  Lucas Although my fortune may be much higher than yours, I would be father  and companion to you, always. (slaps him on the shoulder) For I am not  proud. 
   
  Baron Indeed, I see that, Lucas. 
   
  Girard You see that the gentleman doesn't underrate himself. He deserves to  fill a great office. 
   
  Lucas Haven't you retained a fine place for me at the Post? For that's  why I am going to Paris. 
   
  Girard I already told you, they're looking for a carriage softer than a bed  for you. 
   
  Lucas But, what's keeping the carriage. I don't want to have to wait. 
   
  Girard The horses will soon be here at your orders. Wait for them here. Hola,  lackey, hola, some chairs. 
   
  (Lackeys enter with chairs. Lucas exchanges greetings with the Baron  and seats himself first.) 
   
  Lucas Let's not have any manners while I'm here. 
   
  Baron Let's talk about our business. 
   
  Lucas (not replying) I've got a great idea just now. 
   
  Baron We were discussing-- 
   
  Lucas In seeing me, all Paris is going to feast me. The one who won the  Grand Prize. 
   
  Baron Before you leave-- 
   
  Lucas All the world will be beggars except me, because my wealth will divert  me. While I am in the grain, I am going to see people cry famine. What  a pleasure! 
   
  Baron Then, Lucas, do you intend to reach a conclusion for my ardent love? 
   
  Lucas They're going to propose to me some pretty expenses, pretty horses,  and pretty families to marry into. This business will increase wealth.  I'll buy whatever's for sale. 
   
  Girard But, to ennoble you, you would have a gentleman for a son-in-law. 
   
  Baron Lisette is waiting for us. 
   
  Lucas I'll have all this, indeed, for when one is very rich, one attracts  all that for nothing. 
   
  Baron You promised me-- 
   
  Lucas (with an important air) Huh! 
   
  Baron To finish-- 
   
  Lucas What? 
   
  Baron Our business. 
   
  Lucas What business? 
   
  Baron Ours, I have had the notary there, to write the contract. He's waiting  only for you. We are agreed between us. 
   
  Lucas Ah, I believe that I remember something of it. Damn, when one has so  much business, one thinks only of the best. Yes, we spoke of marriage,  but it cannot be. There's only, but a bit-- 
   
  Girard What do I hear? What, then, you already intend to disown it? 
   
  Baron Remember, Lucas, that I was your master. 
   
  Girard Lucas, remember that there's great honor, a handsome alliance to have  a lord for a son-in-law. 
   
  Lucas Oh, it's money which makes the best marriages. 
   
  Baron What, you no longer intend? 
   
  Lucas I want no part of your lineage. 
   
  Baron What? 
   
  Lucas But, it's necessary to listen to me. I am a native of this hamlet.  That means, that from friendship, I love your earth, your chateau.  Yet, it's not mine if you become my son-in-law. My opinion is it would  be better if you sold it to me. 
   
  Baron You're joking, I believe. Sell you my chateau? 
   
  Lucas It is all dilapidated, but I will make a lot of improvements. 
   
  Baron He's gone crazy. 
   
  Girard (low) This rascal scorns you. 
   
  Lucas The land will ennoble me. That's what I want of you. While at Paris I  increase my money, you keep the land fallow. 
   
  Girard You will be his farmer. 
   
  Baron (rising) This is too much insolence. 
   
  Girard (to Baron) Sir, calm down. I promise you revenge. 
   
  Lucas (aside, also rising) This little gentleman, he heard all that. He owes money everywhere,  but he believes he is to be respected. But, I will have his chateau.  He'd better leave. He has some creditors. I will have it through the  law. 
   
  Girard (after having spoken low to the Baron) We have done all, sir, for your good. But to revenge yourself, better  say nothing. 
   
  (Enter Lisette.) 
   
  Lisette I have been looking for you everywhere. Ouf! I'm out of breath. To  find you, father, took a lot of trouble. I have run--for they say--but  I don't believe it--I heard it everywhere--the Grand Prize. These are  the compliments that greet me everywhere. They say a hundred thousand  francs. Is it true, father? 
   
  Lucas True. 
   
  Lisette (impressed) A hundred thousand francs! 
   
  (Enter Argon and the Widow.) 
   
  Argon (who runs after her) Well, are you fleeing from me? Speak! Since you've heard about the lottery, and  you know the news, you scorn me. 
   
  Lisette Yes. 
   
  Argon This is a handsome fortune. But, it ought not to attract your scorn to  me. Answer me, at least. Will you marry me? 
   
  Lisette I obey my father. He has told me that he wishes to defer this  business. (low to Lucas and making a sign with her eyes to him) Tell  him that it's you who refuse. 
   
  Lucas Good, good. 
   
  Lisette That costs nothing. Get me off. 
   
  Lucas No. 
   
  Lisette (signaling with her eyes) Tell them something that will end my engagement, at least. 
   
  Lucas Eh! You trouble yourself too much about them. Leave off your  winking. Not necessary for any polish. You have what you need to  marry. 
   
  Widow Her father covets her, the opulent fool. Foolishness that he doesn't  try to excuse. 
   
  Argon By her own fault, she herself disabused me. As for me, so as not to  risk another love trick, I'm engaging myself to you. 
   
  Widow Friendship without love. That's what we agree makes a good marriage.  Love is restless and bores itself in a household. 
   
  Baron You would have had our wealth. You will be confounded. 
   
  Lucas Let them say--then you will have three times more, four times more. 
   
  Lisette Let's go quickly to Paris to be in abundance. 
   
  Lucas Between the land and our money--there's the difference. Their land and  their chateau. It's nothing but a little plot. It will never increase,  no, not even an abortion. But my money is in a great adventure. It  will swell at first, and then like a river, it will increase. 
   
  Lisette Increase. 
   
  Lucas Increase--it will increase. 
   
  Lisette Ah, how I will have lovers who will respect me. What happiness! I will  see brilliant fortunes. What a following I am going to have. Lackeys,  servants. 
   
  Girard And valets de chambre--for page--Girard. 
   
  Lucas Let them bring on my horses. 
   
  Widow They will harness you a carriage. 
   
  Girard Go on foot, from fear that your carriage will break down. This is  going to reform the pomp of your train. (giving the list to Lisette)  This is the true list. 
   
  Widow Yes, the reversal is very afflicting. But you've shone already for  your money. A hundred thousand francs for you in the air. 
   
  Baron One hundred thousand francs to laugh at. 
   
  Lisette What are they talking about? What? 
   
  Lucas (looking for the place where the prize was shown in his other  list) Eh! Go on, go on, let them talk. Here, here. It's here. For Lucas, the  Grand Prize. 
   
  Baron You will not buy my chateau, master fool. 
   
  Lucas (troubled) It was there. 
   
  Girard The zeroes are left. 
   
  Lisette Oh! Father, they are mocking you. 
   
  Argon Yes, here's the mystery. 
   
  Widow You have nothing. 
   
  Girard But nothing--gets nothing. I made the false list, and I found wealth.  I've gotten all of Lucas' rents. My love for you makes heroic  sacrifices. I give them all to you, Lisette. 
   
  Argon Let's go to supper at my place. 
   
  Baron Yes, let's go. 
   
  Girard Yes, I have pity for the trouble in which I see you. These gentlemen,  without their ranks. My offer ought to please you. They have made  their fortune, and I have my fortune to make. But, I am, in a day, by  myself, more amorous than the two of them can be in a month. They have  not been able to acquire a young girl. But nobility acquires more than  riches. 
   
  Lisette (to widow) How much I owe you, Madame! It's you who turned my spirit upside down,  in telling me that one must be a coquette. 
   
  Widow I am well punished for my bad advice. I agree, I was wrong. 
   
  Lisette (to Girard) I listened to her. You must have a Baron, she always said. No, I would  never have thought of anyone but you, except for her. If I had  followed my natural inclination, from tenderness I would have chosen  you. 
   
  Girard Eh! Choose me then! Lucas will consent. 
   
  Lucas (in going) Ouf! 
   
  Girard Speak 
   
  Lucas Ouf! 
   
  Girard Two times ouf, in mute language, is worth one yes. 
   
  Widow That's the fate of a coquette. After high prospects, one sees her,  sooner or later, confused, confounded, and reduced to a Girard. 
   
  CURTAIN   
   
   
   
   Publication Date: May 20th 2010 https://www.bookrix.com/-bx.dufresny