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rating: +23+–x close Info X SCP-8588 — Harmony Written by Yeraven Please note that this article contains sensitive material. Viewer discretion is advised.
Includes themes of abuse and violence.
rating: +23+–x content warning Item#: 8588 Level3 Containment Class: keter Secondary Class: {$secondary-class} Disruption Class: ekhi Risk Class: critical link to memo Special Containment Procedures: TARTARUS.aic is to be used to track any further dissemination of SCP-8588. The AIC is also to monitor for any activity discussing the "HARMony" server by name.
The affected terminal must be secured in an air-gapped room to monitor and locate additional instances of SCP-8588-1. All interactions with the terminal with access to SCP-8588 must be logged, and personnel examined for signs of possible anomalous exposure.
All contained instances of SCP-8588-1 are docile and require minimal security arrangements. Site-244 will serve as permanent residency for SCP-8588-1. Due to the • medically impossible nature of SCP-8588-1's physiology, it is unlikely a cure will be found.
Long term plans for SCP-8588-1's welfare are deferred to project team's discretion pending Ethics Committee review.
Description: SCP-8588 is a Discord server. When accessed via Discord chat client, the server contains 231 channels1 with full names (e.g. Joan Isabel Curie) belonging to one or more people. Most of these names are not located on any database for displaced individuals (e.g. missing person's databases).
When an individual clicks on the invite link to SCP-8588, they begin a transformation into an entity designated as SCP-8588-1. The transformation process occurs over 24-48 hours and is characterized by: Stage Description Stage 1 Victim begins hearing faint, incomprehensible whispers resembling distorted voices in their ears. Victim experiences paranoia and compulsive need to join 'cohort'.
Stage 2 Lesions widen and emit fine, hair-like copper filaments. Increasing difficulty in verbal or written communication.
Stage 3 Copper filaments spread patterns across the skin. Victim’s voice becomes distorted. Spasmodic movements are accompanied by mechanical clicking sounds.
Stage 4 Victim’s hands fuse into jagged, claw-like appendages covered in exposed wiring. Masses within the subject's body exit the body through the oral cavity and include wiring, microphones, and peripherals of an unknown nature.
Stage 5 Victim’s face is overtaken by a cluster of microphones and cameras, and remaining recognizably human features are split, twisted or crushed by growths.
A new name belonging to a new individual is found on the channel list.
Other observations: Instances of SCP-8588-1 display signs of emotional and physical distress and pain when separated from their 'cohort' (e.g. close family members of the affected individual).
Medical analysis of subject tissue or body cavities shows organs encased in silicon, with cavities filled with miscellaneous electrical equipment.
Due to anomalous nature of subject's neurology, mutated subjects are assumed non-sapient pending further Ethics Committee review.
Discovery: On 6/27/2026, Dr. Joan Curie was exposed to the anomaly when opening a link addressed to her from an individual she identified as her estranged daughter to a Discord server where they could 'catch up'. The link was accessed on Dr. Curie's personal device, but an instance of the Discord client was found installed on Dr. Curie's terminal that afternoon, after Dr. Curie reported experiencing what are now known to be Stage 1 symptoms of exposure to the anomaly.
On 6/28/2026, Dr. Curie filed for voluntary euthanasia and scheduled her final debriefing session with her staff.
Dr. Joan Curie: Statistical analysis of similar anomalies estimates twenty-four hours or so before I become nonverbal. I need to debrief you on my findings now before my • • • cognition is any more compromised. I've noticed certain behavioral shifts among the staff and— Dr. Sandra Watanabe: The only 'behavioral shifts' you're noticing is because you're going to euthanize the only captive sample we'd be able to study!
Dr Curie: Please, don't interrupt me. Hard to concentrate. The shifts show… degradations in social interactions between the cohort of the subject and the subject itself— Dr. Kleinfeld: We already got ourselves checked for cognitohazardous contamination by this or any foreign memeplex. The staff is fine.
Dr. Watanabe: Stop trying to insert a narrative where there isn't one. The anomaly is not a cognitohazard. Dr. Kleinfeld, are these delusions the result of brain damage? What does the imaging say?
Dr. Kleinfeld: Her neural patterns are intact. The electrical activity is completely unaffected. Even with an antennae piercing through her cerebrum.
Dr. Curie: Not a cognitohazard. Not a cognitohazard. I th-think we need to explore… explore… Joan twitches and falls silent. Her tongue is stiff and partially webbed with copper interconnects making the formation of syllables difficult and painful for her.
Explore other theories. This is— Dr. Watanabe: There's a possibility the changes to her physiology aren't changing her cognitive makeup after all. That contradicts our existing theories that the personality dies during the mutation. Do we update the documentation?
Dr. Curie: I… She buckles, grabbing the edge of a nearby desk to steady herself …noticing pattern in the way you are…you are…with me…social hazard of some kind— Dr. Kleinfeld: 'Possibility' is a dangerous word in science. How do you prove 'under the hood' is still Joan? You can't. So why bother?
Dr. Watanabe: Can't say I disagree. I think we need to do additional research on her kinesis, reactivity, irritability. Pain reception.
Dr. Curie: Social hazard…Hurts to speak…please don't make me repeat myself— Dr. Kleinfeld: Do we designate her as an instance?
Dr. Curie: Please…do you hear me? Do you understand me?
Dr. Watanabe: Would you shut up!
Beat Dr. Watanabe: I'm sorry, Dr. Kleinfeld, I don't know what got into me.
Dr. Kleinfeld: Don't. We're all under a lot of pressure. You're under a lot of pressure. Dr.
Curie was your best friend. But I know what to do.
Picks up phone and taps security button.
Security, please transport Dr. Curie to a medical detention center.
Hangs up phone.
I'll get the paperwork started to apply for the redesignation.
Dr. Curie: Please… Dr. Kleinfeld: Control yourself.
Dr. Curie: Sandy! This is me!
Voice loses resolution and warbles like Joan is literally choking on static.
Sandy!
Dr. Watanabe: And who do you think you are, Dr. Curie?
Security personnel roughly drag Dr. Curie away.
Let me know when she can't talk anymore.
Robert Today at 3:15 PM Hello?
Sandra Today at 3:16 PM So it's not just me!
Robert Today at 3:19 PM I can see the member list.
Robert Today at 3:19 PM It's the entire project staff. Me, you, Ramesh, Will, Ranya…all 16 of us.
Robert Today at 3:19 PM Except Joan.
Sandra Today at 3:20 PM Except Joan.
Robert Today at 3:22 PM It's so vivid. The screen is so vivid.
Robert Today at 3:22 PM Only thing this vivid in my head is the night of that car accident. The smell won't go away, and this feels just as real.
Sandra Today at 3:24 PM I'm at the terminal now.
Sandra Today at 3:24 PM There's a new channel with Joan's name.
Sandra Today at 3:24 PM Everything we've just said is there. Our brains are updating the discord somehow.
Ramesh Today at 3:26 PM I want to try something. I've been saving up this tidbit for a while: Sandra Today at 3:27 PM Oh Gods above, Ramesh. What did you do?
Robert Today at 3:28 PM What the fuck? How could you possibly think writing that was a good idea!
Sandra Today at 3:30 PM Ramesh?
Ramesh Today at 3:31 PM And time. How's everybody feeling?
Sandra Today at 3:32 PM Kill yourself. Delete that message right now.
Ramesh Today at 3:33 PM Just as I thought. ANANKE.aic should have killed us by now.
Ramesh Today at 3:33 PM ANANKE is a kernel-level superintelligence that's supposed to nail any mention of the Black Moon's true nature inside of fifteen seconds.
Ramesh Today at 3:33 PM It's been a minute.
Ramesh Today at 3:33 PM I deleted it.
Robert Today at 3:34 PM So the Foundation can't see this.
Sandra Today at 3:35 PM And that means no one can.
Robert Today at 3:37 PM What do we do?
Sandra Today at 3:38 PM Let's…get ourselves checked for cognitohazardous contamination, but if everything's green, I think this is worth exploring more, without those bitches in senior staff looking over our shoulder all the time.
Sandra Today at 3:39 PM But a black-channel where we can discuss things privately would be pretty useful.
Sandra Today at 3:39 PM Senior staff has so much leverage because they know everything we say or do.
Robert Today at 3:42 PM This is a professional and scientific godsend.
Sandra Today at 3:43 PM Wait a second. I guess we know commands now?
Ramesh Today at 3:43 PM Let me try one.
Ramesh Today at 3:43 PM /dance Joan I'm still in here. I'm not gone. I'm still in here!
Robert Today at 3:44 PM What.
Robert Today at 3:44 PM She's dancing.
Robert Today at 3:44 PM Joan's dancing.
Sandra Today at 3:45 PM LMAO Testing has shown that the members of SCP-8588 staff are the chosen cohort of SCP-8588-1-A (hereafter referred to as 'Instance A'). It is not known why this attachment exists, as members of the staff do not recall sharing particularly significant experiences with Dr. Curie.
Use of mnestics and standard cognitohazard tests show no indication of anomalous influence on staff.
Update: On 7/5/2026, Michael Caramahilis was exposed to SCP-8588 and became an instance of SCP-8588-1. TARTARUS.AIC did not detect the containment breach and Foundation assets were only made aware of the situation as a result of an intercepted 911 call made by Michael's wife when Michael began experiencing Stage 2 symptoms.
Dr. Sandra Watanabe: So TARTARUS sprang a leak. What now?
Dr. Robert Kleinfeld: We have surveillance assets covering the house. Standard procedure is secure the subject and amnesticize the collaterals.
Dr. Watanabe: Have there been any other breaches?
Dr. Kleinfeld: None. TARTARUS intercepted over ten thousand invite attempts since that leak.
Dr. Watanabe: What's the current sitrep on the family?
Dr. Kleinfeld: They seem to be taking it well.
Dr. Watanabe: Excuse me?
Dr. Kleinfeld: There was distress, but they were talking about calling the cops, not an ambulance.
Dr. Watanabe: On their father?
Dr. Kleinfeld: They didn't do anything, though. They just…watched. They are… comfortable with this.
Dr. Watanabe: Let’s go for a walk.
Robert Today at 3:46 PM This is not expected behavior. We…oh Joan is crying again!
Robert Today at 3:46 PM /isolate Joan Why can't you see me? Why can't you see me?
Sandra Today at 3:47 PM Selfish. I think her whimpering is worse.
Robert Today at 3:48 PM We have to study this. The anomaly is much more complicated, more dangerous than anticipated. Ethically, we can't experiment on human beings, but there's precedent for this, yes?
Sandra Today at 3:49 PM It wouldn't be the first or last time project staff dragged their feet for the greater good. It's a loophole the committee is well aware of.
Ramesh Today at 3:50 PM The signs do say "no running in the lab" :D Robert Today at 3:51 PM LMAO Sandra Today at 3:52 PM LMAO Robert Today at 3:53 PM So we are agreed?
Sandra Today at 3:54 PM We let nature take its course, collect the data, wrap it up.
Robert Today at 3:55 PM Shouldn’t we get ourselves checked for cognitohazards?
Sandra Today at 3:56 PM What for?
Robert Today at 3:55 PM I don’t know. This all feels like an escalation. What if the anomaly is driving it?
Sandra Today at 3:57 PM Dude, you worked here when the Foundation was still using D-Class. You had to be okay with a lot of things back then. I’m pretty cool with this now.
Sandra Today at 3:58 PM I guess it’d be nice to have on the paperwork if the Ethics Committee ever calls us to the carpet.
Robert Today at 3:59 PM Let's get to work. We've got a long night ahead of us. What do we need?
Sandra Today at 4:00 PM Coffee. Lots of it.
Robert Today at 4:01 PM /bring coffee, 6 cups Joan Sandra. Sandra. It's me. It's Joan. It's me. You know me! You know me! Sandy!
Sandra Today at 4:01 PM Let's have a little fun.
Sandra Today at 4:01 PM /bring coffee, 12 cups Joan Sandy. Sandy. Sandy Sandy Sandy Sandy Sandy. Sandy.
Date and Time Description Effect on Subject (Michael) 07/07/2026 07:31 PM The family directs Michael to sit at a small folding chair in the corner of the dining room, away from the main table. When he tries to move closer, the wife tells him, “Did I tell you to move? Stay there. Stay there.” Subject is visibly agitated, tapping his fingers against the chair and emitting low hums.
07/10/2026 02:00 PM After Michael accidentally drops a glass while executing command '/bring 20 glasses', family locks him inside despite his audible distress.
Subject pounds on the garage door for over an hour, emitting increasingly loud vocalizations.
Eventually curls into a corner, shaking. It is noted that the demand seems to have been intended to create the circumstance they punished him for.
07/11/2026 04:15 PM While attempting to sit with the family in the living room, Michael reaches out to pick up a family photo. The mother snaps, “That’s not for you to touch, Michael!” The eldest son adds, “Go stand over there and watch from a distance.” Subject moves to a corner but continues reaching toward the family, emitting faint, stuttering hums. The youngest child mocks him, mimicking the noises.
07/12/2026 04:58 PM A loud creak is heard during a moment of relative quiet. Despite being seated at the time, Michael is told to leave the room with obscenities.
Subject responds with increasingly disorganized vocalizations, resembling distorted sobbing, until wife issues command /go backyard.
Observations: It is unclear whether the family is aware of Michael's debilitating condition, or simply chooses not to acknowledge it.
Many of these interactions appear to be motivated by an active pursuit of Michael's distress.
Bystanders looking at Michael show signs of initial tension before sharing family's indifference towards Michael.
It has been verified that all three family members are not experiencing cognitohazardous/memetic influence.
We do not see cause for immediate intervention.
Dr. Kleinfeld: He's their father! How can they care so little for him?
Dr. Watanabe: Sighs It’s more than neglect. They’re actively hostile.
Puts his head in his hands What a nightmare.
SCP-8588-1 emits a distorted electronic screech, twisting its upper body violently and slamming her head against the glass wall of her containment cell.
Dr. Kleinfeld: I had two kids. I can't imagine how it'd feel to get kicked around by them.
SCP-8588-1 slams a limb against the floor, emitting a series of high-pitched, staccato noises.
Dr. Watanabe: Grimaces at the containment cell, then clears her throat The cognitive profiles on the family show no cognitive distortion. This is just how they'd treat an unwanted guest. Maybe a little worse.
Dr. Kleinfeld: The father…he just… takes it. Every shove, every insult. And he just keeps coming back .
Beat, then Dr. Watanabe gasps, eyes widen with shock • • • • • Dr. Watanabe: This isn't a cognitohazard at all. It's a new metaphysical phenomena!
Dr. Kleinfeld: Explain.
Dr. Watanabe: It isn't a cognitohazard. It's a reality warp.
Dr. Kleinfeld: We ran our Hume measurements— Dr. Watanabe: A social reality shift. Similar to nomenclative mutation or bureaucratohazards—there are facts that carry metaphysical significance. It is clear that social reality is one of those. We've been looking at the user level when we should have been digging into the kernel.
Dr. Kleinfeld: If what you're saying is true, the new social reality being constructed by the anomaly would have to be significantly more durable than naturally forming social realities. The inherent biases this creates would be impervious to logic or even emotion.
Dr. Watanabe: What would we call this? An *empathehazard*? A socialpath? We would need significantly more data before this would be accepted by the Foundation community. More time.
Dr. Kleinfeld: This has the potential to create a K-Class phenomena if improperly handled.
Instance A emits a series of deep, resonant clicks, curling into itself as its limbs tremble uncontrollably.
Robert Today at 4:04 PM You were right about the whimpering. And the tantrums! She just clings to us like a beaten puppy.
Sandra Today at 4:05 PM It's the cohort attachment. Nothing to be done.
Robert Today at 4:06 PM It's frustrating.
Sandra Today at 4:07 PM This can't be helping your insomnia, can it?
Robert Today at 4:08 PM You remembered?
Sandra Today at 4:09 PM I was at that containment breach too. Of course I do.
Robert Today at 4:10 PM We were supposed to get amnesticized afterwards.
Sandra Today at 4:11 PM You didn't, so I didn't.
Robert Today at 4:12 PM Uh.
Sandra Today at 4:13 PM Then we need to do whatever is necessary to learn how to handle it.
Robert Today at 4:14 PM What about her?
Sandra Today at 4:16 PM ???
Sandra Today at 4:17 PM What about her?
Update 7/14/26: First documented instance of pro-social behavior in household of subject 'Michael'.
Dr. Kleinfeld: They stopped.
Dr. Watanabe: They just stopped.
Instance-A is shivering at their feet. The tremors play on its scales and peripherals like tumbling ice cubes, filling the air with a low clattering.
Dr. Kleinfeld: Why did they stop?
Dr. Kleinfeld: The abuse stopped. It just…it stopped. He didn't even have to do anything, it just stopped.
Dr. Watanabe: They aren't engaging with the anomaly, but they aren't pushing him away either.
Dr. Kleinfeld: He's easy enough to please. Instance-A is happy just to belong.
Dr. Watanabe: My analysis and that of TARTARUS arrived at the same conclusion.
Whatever the distortion is doing to their attachment to Michael, it isn't fundamentally changing their personalities.
Dr. Kleinfeld: They never enjoyed inflicting pain.
Instance-A lets out a whine. Dr. Kleinfeld's mouth turns to a grimace.
Update: 'Michael' (redesignated Instance-B) was retrieved on 7/15/26. The amnesticization of his family was completed with no lasting side-effects. Further measures to ensure his nominal demise is public record are underway.
Robert Today at 4:18 PM /recitebackwards alphabet Joan Remember when we hazed that janitor into a drug addiction? She heard the way I was talking to my kid on the phone and scolded me, and I decided she needed to go. So you and me and Sandy did some things, and she went.
Sandra Today at 4:20 PM Why do you keep doing that? You know she can't even jabber out morse code, let alone phonemes.
Robert Today at 4:21 PM Yes, but it is amusing to listen to her try.
Robert Today at 4:21 PM /bring axe Joan Bobby and Sandy and me. Wolves in a pack. I'm watching them make me howl.
Sandra Today at 4:23 PM However much the social reality is being warped, it seems the implications on the affected party's behavior is variable.
Robert Today at 4:24 PM The ring of Gyges.
Sandra Today at 4:25 PM I never shared your love of antiquity.
Robert Today at 4:26 PM It is a parable. The ring makes you invisible. How you'd act when it's of no consequence to you says something about who you really are.
Sandra Today at 4:27 PM "What you are in the dark." Robert Today at 4:28 PM The anomaly makes you hate the thing, but it doesn't make you enjoy hating it.
Sandra Today at 4:29 PM "What we are in the dark." Robert Today at 4:30 PM On the footage, now, the eldest son just set Michael's place at the table.
Sandra Today at 4:31 PM It can't even eat! What are they trying to prove?
Robert Today at 4:32 PM This experiment's run its course. Send the order. We're turning out their lights.
Sandra Today at 4:33 PM Oh, Joan's back.
Sandra Today at 4:33 PM Wait, she actually found a fire axe? Where did she find an axe?
Robert Today at 4:34 PM Well, waste not want not. We'll take turns?
Sandra Today at 4:35 PM Get everyone over here. This is best enjoyed collaboratively.
Joan I found my family after all.
Sandra Today at 4:35 PM Lol Sandra Today at 4:35 PM 'Ring of Gyges'… you pretentious little shit lol Robert Today at 4:36 PM You love it.
Sandra Today at 4:37 PM Perhaps Robert Today at 4:38 PM /crawl Joan As long as we're all together.
Sandra Today at 4:40 PM Do you think she still bleeds?
Mark Today at 4:41 PM Lol what are you up to?
Sandra Today at 4:42 PM Woah! Tourists!
Mark Today at 4:43 PM #thomas-joseph-reed. I'm Director Mark Bishop, Site-17. Dr. Watanabe…you’re Site-290, right?
Sandra Today at 4:44 PM Woah, the SITE DIRECTOR? How deep are we?
Update: Instance-A has escaped Site-290. A Code-Warren search is in effect for the entire region— Sandra Today at 4:50 PM /scream Joan FIELD TRIP.
Sandra Today at 4:52 PM It's so fun watching her try to scream through the bag.
Robert Today at 4:45 PM Security actually bought it. How’d you talk the site director into playing along?
Sandra Today at 4:46 PM Oh, Foundation personnel ‘lose’ anomalies all the time.
Sandra Today at 4:46 PM Promised him private time with her later.
Sandra Today at 4:50 PM Let's play a game.
Robert Today at 4:47 PM Pass me the pipe, Ramesh. I want to get in a few swings.
Robert Today at 4:53 PM What's the game?
Sandra Today at 4:54 PM Person holding the pipe says a time they realized they are a piece of shit.
Robert Today at 4:55 PM That's heavy. Why?
Sandra Today at 4:57 PM We ARE pieces of shit. Think about it.
Sandra Today at 4:57 PM We watched that family for a week and a half. They didn’t even hit him. Their parameters had nothing to do with what he meant to them.
Sandra Today at 4:57 PM Then there’s us. It’s been four weeks, and we had to ‘disappear’ her because we’re having too much fun to let them put her out of her misery yet.
Sandra Today at 4:57 PM Even that bitch Ranya who kept talking about the regulations and human rights back in July.
Sandra Today at 4:57 PM She’s the one who figured out how to pipe Joan's voice directly into the livestream.
Sandra Today at 4:57 PM Nobody can hear her scream but us.
Sandra Today at 4:58 PM So yeah, Robert. When did you find out you are a piece of shit?
Robert Today at 4:58 PM When my kids went no-contact with me.
Sandra Today at 4:59 PM Yours too? Why?
Robert Today at 5:00 PM I had a drinking problem. My wife was in that car.
Robert Today at 5:00 PM Thank God for Foundation lawyers. But my kids knew. They never forgot what I smelled like.
Sandra Today at 4:59 PM DAMN you put a lot into that last hit. I think she bounced that time.
Robert Today at 5:00 PM Wait. 'Yours too'? You had kids? Your turn.
Sandra Today at 5:01 PM Wasn't my fault. My ex-boyfriend did it. But my ex is gone, so he wasn’t there. I was, so they blamed me.
Sandra Today at 5:01 PM Such bullshit.
Robert Today at 5:02 PM You really aren't the best judge of character, are you?
Sandra Today at 5:03 PM LOL no. I just don't like people.
Robert Today at 5:04 PM So was that when you knew you were a piece of shit?
Sandra Today at 5:05 PM I always knew LMAO. A number of missing cats found out the hard way.
Robert Today at 5:06 PM How did the Foundation recruit you?
Sandra Today at 5:08 PM They select for certain stimuli-seeking, morally flexible personalities. Suffice to say, they're willing to massage a few numbers for the right candidate.
Robert Today at 5:09 PM I thought they tested for antisocial characteristics.
Sandra Today at 5:10 PM A test is only as good as the questions on it.
Robert Today at 5:12 PM You always were clever like that.
Sandra Today at 5:12 PM Thank God you’re so chill, Robert.
Sandra Today at 5:12 PM There's something relaxing about not having to pretend anymore.
Robert Today at 5:13 PM To think you seemed like this cold humorless bitch when I met you.
Robert Today at 5:13 PM It’s like you’re the other side of my coin.
Sandra Today at 5:14 PM I love you, Robert.
Robert Today at 5:15 PM Then, do something about it.
Sandra Today at 5:16 PM Your hand is so clammy.
Joan CONGRATULATIONS TO CRAZY IVAN, NEW SERVER ADMIN.
Sandra Today at 5:18 PM Hm.
Sandra Today at 5:19 PM She stopped.
Joan FIELD TRIP. FIELD TRIP. FIELD TRIP.
Update: On 08/7/26, four Foundation sites entered a Code Arasaka2 'safe-mode', disabling all non-essential communications, security systems, issuing a request for immediate AIC intervention.
Due to manual damage to secure communications cable, AICs received notification of Code Arasaka four hours later. By the time MTF units secured the sites, all personnel and non-Keter anomalies were missing.
TARTARUS.AIC is non-responsive to O5 level commands. It must be assumed Update: CRAZYIVAN.AIC is responsive.
CRAZYIVAN.AIC STREAM: Device Identifier: Samsung Galaxy S23 Ultra IMEI: 356789451234567 Timestamp: 2026-08-10 14:32:18 UTC GPS Coordinates: 37.7749° N, 122.4194° W (San Francisco, CA) Device Owner: Kayla Reed (age 14) Malcolm Reed: Kayla! What have I told you about phones at dinner while guests are at the table?
Kayla Reed: I was just checking it for a second- Malcolm: Just checking it for what, SAT prep? Your friends on Discord can wait.
Dr. Sandra Watanabe: No worries, Malcolm. I’m a bit of a phone bug myself.
Kayla: Dad doesn't usually bring his girlfriends home. You must be special.
Dr. Watanabe: I certainly hope so.
Kayla: How did you two meet?
Malcolm: Uh…how we met is…probably a story for a different time— Dr. Watanabe: We met at a bar. I was crying into my beer because I was having some family issues, and your dad found me and cheered me up.
Kayla: You didn’t tell me you met her at a bar, dad.
Malcolm: What’s that supposed to mean?
Kayla: I dunno… Dr. Watanabe: I mean, that’s a bit of a oversimplification of what happened that night— Sound of a chair leg getting kicked.
Dr. Watanabe: OW! I mean, we’ve been dating for six months, anything’s an oversimplification.
Kayla: You’re always disappearing for weeks at a time. I don’t think dad knows that much about you.
Malcolm: Kayla!
Dr. Watanabe: No, she’s right. I do research stuff I can’t talk about. I am sorry to leave you all in the dark all the time.
Kayla: If you’re moving in with us, does that mean we’ll be less in the dark?
Dr. Watanabe: Why wait? No time like the present. I’m on Discord as well if you want to chat sometime?
Kayla: What do you think, dad?
Malcolm: Can’t see why not. It’s not every day my daughter gets to make friends with a scientist.
Kayla: What’s that thing on the couch?
Dr. Watanabe: Oh, that’s a friend from work.
Kayla: It's disgusting.
Footnotes 1. Estimate at present time.
2. Emergency indicating the failure of onsite cybersecurity.
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