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Biographical information regarding Vytas Andressen is to be deleted from Foundation computers after being stored in three redundant offices available only to personnel immune to Category Lambda-7 infohazardous effect with Level 3972-1 clearance.
Personnel are not to take screenshots of, extract portions of, or transcribe the film below without authorization from a Site Director.
Researcher Romana is to update the below film in the event new information regarding SCP-3972 must be communicated to Foundation personnel. Instructional classes in video editing were requested by Researcher Romana and approved by Human Resources.
Description: See film.
+ Show transcript [WARNING - INFOHAZARDOUS EFFECTS ON FOUNDATION PERSONNEL A This film is currently the only non-infohazardous method of storing information relating to SCP-3972’s effect.
SCP-3972 is a series of effects relating to photographic images and biographical information of former Foundation Attaché for Baltic Affairs Vytas Andressen. Nearly all photographic images of and true information regarding Andressen1 carries a Category Lambda-7 infohazardous effect. This effect produces acute nausea and swelling of the lymph nodes in 99.8% of tested current and former Foundation personnel, but has not affected any tested non-Foundation persons in 719 clinical trials.
The infohazard impacting this information is neutralized by presenting the information in a film or digital video file that meets the following eight content requirements: No on-screen text must appear before the words “A FLORENTINE FILM.”2 1.
Musical recordings created before 1930 and meeting standards Foundation researchers are currently unable to define must be present throughout the entire film. As a 1920 Victor recording of Gabriella Besanzoni singing a selection from Verdi’s ‘Il Trovatore’ was found to meet these requirements, it is used in this film and can currently be heard.
No words must be spoken in the film before the reading a specific quote by Oscar Milosz, a French-Lithuanian poet who lived from 1877 to 1939. The quote may be read in English, French, or Lithuanian.
On-screen text which includes “KEN BURNS PRESENTS:” followed by a title that may vary must appear. The title ‘SCP-3972’ was selected for convenience.
Portions of entirely black screen lasting five seconds or less [MISSING IN VIDEO: are allowed.] Only photographs and videos taken within the legal boundaries of modern-day Lithuania may appear. This includes the five photographs that constitute the complete remaining photographic record of Vytas Andressen.
A filmed portion depicting an individual with a degree from an accredited university speaking about SCP-3972’s effects must appear and must contain a genuine emotional response from the individual depicted. The words spoken in this filmed segment must not have been decided upon or scripted beforehand.
A credits sequence must appear which contains the names of all SCP Foundation personnel who assembled the film and the phrase ‘Special Thanks to the Slovenian National Society for the Preservation of Vakarinė’s Works.’ Requirements 7 and 8 will be met later in this film.
Vytas Andressen, pictured here, was the Foundation Attaché for Baltic Affairs from 1998 to May 11, 2017, when he disappeared at age 59. Simultaneous with his disappearance, all photographs of Andressen disappeared from both physical and digital storage worldwide, and extant biographical information about him gained SCP-3972’s infohazardous effect.
The photographs pictured here, the quote by Oscar Milosz, a note, and a complex list of requirements that were eventually reduced to the eight listed previously, were anonymously delivered via post to Foundation diplomatic offices in Brussels on June 1, 2017.
Foundation infohazard detection alerted on-site personnel to the presence of low-level Category Lambda-7 Infohazardous Effect on the materials. The Foundation forwarded the information to a previously determined to be immune group of researchers, including myself, by June 3.
The included note was confiscated by employees of the O5 Commission Internal Affairs Bureau before delivery to our research team. The only information they have currently provided is that in the note, the Slovenian National Society for the Preservation of Vakarinė’s Works claims responsibility for Andressen’s disappearance and presented ransom demands.
2.
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7.
8.
No information regarding the Society is available to this research team, and we have been assured that hostage negotiations and anti-Society activity are the purview of Mobile Task Forces who will have this film screened for them.
That is the extent of the information we have been asked to make available on the Foundation database at this time. The filmed portion from requirement 7 and the credits sequence from requirement 8 follow.
“This is Researcher Alyx Romana making the 51st attempt at an SCP-3972-compliant recording. So. From all I’ve gleaned from the exceedingly vague instructions given to me by both internal affairs and the documentation provided, there’s supposed to be some sort of talking head segment vaguely resembling one in a Ken Burns documentary.
There’s apparently not allowed to be any scripting, any time I’ve written even a word down that I’m intending to use or brought an index card, it’s failed. We brought 15 D-Class personnel with us to Slovenia, where I’m stuck up in this stuffy office, and we’ve been through each of them three—four times now, and we’re running out of barf bags.
So, I’m really hoping that my frustration at this process begins to count as a genuine enough emotional response for these requirements. My frustration, in fact, knows no bounds as…none of this goddamn anomaly makes sense.
Why would you create an infohazard, create a loophole, send it to the Foundation and make the loophole related to an American documentary filmmaker who doesn’t have to be involved in the process?
We’ve [CENSORED BY ORDER OF THE O5 COMMISSION INTERNAL AFFAIRS BUREAU] – he has nothing to do with this, he has nothing to do with Slovenia.
There’s no professional standards required for this film, as you can tell by the fact that I’m filming myself with it… [laughter] Okay. I’m beginning to think somebody’s playing a prank on us.
Footnotes 1. His name and former position within the Foundation are not effected by the infohazard and are thusly included in the Special Containment Procedures.
2. An American film company from Walpole, NH, owned by Ken Burns.
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