SCP Foundation Secure, Contain, Protect About About Us Site Rules FAQ Licensing Criticism Policy Article Deletions Community Site News IRC Chat Authors' Pages Artist Directory Contest Archive Staff List Resources Guides Essays & Resources Wiki Syntax Sandbox Usertools Sister Sites SCP International Wanderer's Library Contact Us ≡ About About Us Site Rules FAQ Licensing Criticism Policy Article Deletions Contact Staff Community Site News IRC Chat Authors' Pages Artist Directory Contest Archive Staff List Resources Guides Search this site Search • ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ • ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ • ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ • ◦ ◦ • • ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ • ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ • ◦ Essays & Resources Wiki Syntax Sandbox Usertools Sister Sites SCP International Wanderer's Library Create account or Sign in Getting Started Guide for Newcomers Join the Site Contribute | FAQ Universe Hub Main | Forum SCP by Series I | II | III | IV | V VI | VII | VIII | IX Other SCP Explained | Joke International Feed New Pages Shortest | Top Rated Recent Changes New Forum Posts Lowest Rated Pages Stories Tales Hub | Series Groups of Interest GoI Formats Canon Hub Discovery Artwork Hub Curated Lists Curated Tale Series Tag Search Random SCP | Tale | GOI | Art Random Page ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ • ◦ ◦ SCP-5796 She has a lot of work. I do too. I miss her smile.
rating: +105+–x close Info X And my lungs will grow cancers And my back it will grow achy I will buy us an acre Of some land in the city We could live there together Or I'll live alone less happy But I'll live Unfortunately.
(Love in the Time of Human Papillomavirus, AJJ) SCP-5796 Image: Website icon created by Agente Shuffle My authorpage!
rating: +105+–x Item#: 5796 Level4 Containment Class: keter Secondary Class: none Disruption Class: gevurah Risk Class: notice link to memo Special Containment Procedures: As SCP-5796 is only accessible on Foundation servers, civilian interference is unlikely. All Foundation members are to remain unaware of the web address of SCP-5796, and any personnel without Level 4 clearance • attempting to, or have already accessed SCP-5796 are to be reprimanded and punished. All testing with SCP-5796 must go through Site Director Amelia Werchester.
Description: SCP-5796 is a dating website, named "Soulmate Connection Program," that is exclusively accessible via Foundation servers. The site cannot be blocked or removed through any known means, including redirection. SCP-5796 generates dating profiles for all individuals affiliated with the Foundation, including D-Class personnel, humanoid anomalies,1 and the O5 council.
SCP-5796's logo.
These profiles contain personal information, such as legal name, age, and gender preference, and are created without the knowledge of the individuals in question.
However, the text style of the profiles is consistent with the manner in which the person would write.
SCP-5796 is equipped with several features, such as a private messaging system, customizable profiles, and a site search function, which showcases a list of every Foundation site, with all employed personnel. Any personnel accessing SCP-5796 will automatically be logged in to their assigned profile, with no option to log out or delete their account. SCP-5796 does not create accounts for individuals who are in a relationship.2 Further Notes: WARNING You are attempting to access a file restricted only to Site Director Werchester.
Please input credentials to proceed.
USER: D34DM4NSP4RTY PASS: * * * * * * * * * * * * * Credentials accepted.
Welcome, Site Director Werchester.
What file would you like to access?
All Accessing all attached files… Journal Entry 5/19/2013 So turns out, there's an SCP dating website. Great. Fun! The higher ups don't know where this came from nor do anyone else. Guess it's just something random that fucks us over. Gonna run a few tests on this thing, tell 'em if I see anything unusual.
I was told to write down my notes, but I'm out of paper. On the file it goes.
Journal Entry 5/21/2013 Real creepy invasion of privacy. I checked my "profile", and it was way to detailed for my liking. Written how I talk, including pics of myself. Even knows about my cat. Gross. I'm gonna avoid checking other people's profiles for now.
Journal Entry 5/22/2013 Got a notif in the corner that said "All Alone on a Wednesday Night? God, you're pathetic." Fuck you too, SCP-5796. I'm done testing.
Journal Entry 5/26/2013 Fine. Fine, I'll continue checking this site out.
Looking through all the different sites, you don't need to be a person to use this, since I found Dr. Crow. That's fun. I looked at Site-19, didn't catalogue any anomalies below 18 so that's uh. Good as well. Gonna keep looking, lemme jot this down.
PROPOSED REVISION: These profiles contain personal information, such as legal name, age, and gender preference, and are created without the knowledge of the individuals in question. However, the text style of the profiles is consistent with the manner in which the person would write. All profiles on SCP-5796 are persons who are above the age of eighteen, and are completely aware and able to consent romantically and sexually.
Gonna need to change the wording but hey, I got plenty of time. I'll continue to update it.
Journal Entry 5/27/2013 Turns out I'm not the only person using this site, either I gotta punish someone or act like I'm completely oblivious. She commented on my profile, lemme copy it real quick.
I would say you're in major trouble, but I don't want you reporting me to the others. So keep this between us.
Others? Interesting. Says her name is Kaitlan Ademola. I think, I'll check that again later.
Journal Entry 6/5/2013 Alright I need to log some other stuff. That's what this journal is for.
There's options to like posts and comments, and "follow" people, showing their posts. These posts are stuff whatever these people are doing, taken by..someone. Can't tell who, no reflection or anything.
Gonna spy a bit on other people. Just for testing purposes.
PROPOSED REVISION: These profiles contain personal information, such as legal name, age, and gender preference, and are created without the knowledge of the individuals in question. However, the text style of the profiles is consistent with the manner in which the person would write. All profiles on SCP-5796 are persons who are above the age of eighteen, and are completely aware and able to consent romantically and sexually. Frequently, the profiles will update with recent events for whatever person.
I'll make it better later. Just got to text her back.
Journal Entry 6/6/2013 I'm so depraved, man Jesus fuckin' christ. I'm sitting here, browsing her profile. I need to go touch grass. I contemplated commenting "kind of a MILF" under one of her pics but I realized I feel like such a creep doing that. Gonna take a break, check up with you again later.
Journal Entry 6/9/2013 Alright, I'm doin' better. Someone walked into my office but thankfully he was completely oblivious to me oogling at some ladies profile. Just told him it's some scp reports and he did what he needed i guess. It was something about testing with SCP-whatever so I gave him the pass.
Made me realize how weird I am. Gonna need a few more days to myself.
Journal Entry 6/12/2013 She messaged me sdfaskhfhk We chatted for a little bit and she is a lot more down to earth than I first thought, incredibly nice, even called me "hun". She seems to know a bit about me but I got no clue. Might be another supervisor, her profile doesn't list where she works. Probably not relevant. I hope.
Journal Entry 6/13/2013 Talked some more.
Both of us like Talking Heads, she told me she saw them live once. Told her that we should meet up someday. She said her job takes up the majority of her time but she will try to fit me into her schedule. I want her so bad it's drivin me mad. (yknow. beatles reference. i still want her either way) Looked at her profile more, she loves books. I typically don't read for fun but I'll try sometime later.
Journal Entry 6/16/2013 Chatted more, she wasn't as active but it's clear she's interested. Lemme grab a screenshot..
Kaitlan Ademola Sorry for all the awkward small talk, not really sure how to have a big convo Don't worry about it dear, I'm not typically a chatter either. But it's not like I'll mock you for saying something odd.
Thank you lol Don't worry. I'm free tomorrow, actually. We could meet up if you don't have much to do.
YES I mean. Sure.
You're cute.
changed my schedule. im hoping she doesnt find me creepy irl Journal Entry 6/18/2013 Met her in person. She's a lot taller than I first thought. Not that its a bad thing of course (I like tall girls) but me being 5'5 and her being like. I think almost six feet was awkward. We went to this nice restaurant, we didn't mention work.
She was a lot nicer in person. Kept her formal way of speaking. Gonna see if we can do something else later.
Journal Entry 6/20/2013 Continued to chat, I got her number now at least. She told me she was really busy for the weekend, decided to actually focus on work stuff for now. I'll update this later.
Journal Entry 6/21/2013 We talked about our life at home. Told her about my cat, Elvis Pawsley. She thought the name was really cute. I asked about her pets but she said she never had one, which makes me sad.
Maybe I can invite her over? She might like Elvis.
Journal Entry 6/23/2013 I told her about my family. She reminds me of my mom a bit. This doesn't say anything about me, does it?
God damn it, Freud. You win again.
Journal Entry 6/25/2013 Went on another date with her. Second one, this time to a much cheaper place to see if she y'know. Isn't in it for the money.
She laughed at my cheesy jokes again.
I think I might be ready to tell her.
Journal Entry 6/26/2013 We talked more.
Kaitlan Ademola I love you FUCK that was that was a mistake aa Pfft. You're cute.
Huh? Wha Hasn't even been long, but you're already so sweet. Don't think I've had someone treat me as nice as you.
I love you too, hun.
Journal Entry 6/30/2013 Her account and mine got updated, says "dating". Maybe this SCP isn't so bad. Will update you later.
Journal Entry 7/03/2013 She sent me a. not very safe for work pic of herself.
She's fucking gorgeous.
Journal Entry 7/08/2013 We went on yet another date. This time we watched a movie together. We were holding hands the entire time.
Kaitlan Ademola I'm happy to have met you<3 Aw, you make me blush. I'm blessed to meet you as well.
Do you wanna hang out tomorrow? Y'know, just us two at my place. I got snacks.
I'd love to see you.
:D Journal Entry 6/26/2013 We met up at my house.
We had dinner, we watched stuff on the couch We did. Stuff I love her touch. She also finds Elvis adorable.
Journal Entry 6/28/2013 Kept talking, kept sending pics. I don't know what to put here, really.
Kaitlan Ademola Listen. You're nuts.
Me? Pfft, it's good music.
Shut upppp. duran duran is a one hit wonder, you nut.
Does that make it bad? Maybe hungry like the wolf was just so much better.
Lies. Talking heads has SO many hits.
Did duran duran make Swamp? Checkmate.
Fair enough.
Hungry Like the Wolf is mid.
Journal Entry 7/14/2013 Sorry for not updating. She said she has a lot of work to do. I do too.
I miss her smile.
Journal Entry 7/16/2013 She told me she'll be gone for the next few days. Gonna follow her feed, maybe there's something interesting.
Journal Entry 7/17/2013 FUCK fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck Okay so uh bad news. Kaitlan is way out of my league.
Like.
Met up with the other O5s about ΩK "End of Death" discussion.
Finally prepared something in case it does come, SCP-3287.
She's a fucking O5 member. What the fuck. What the fuck is omega K?? end of death??
Journal Entry 7/18/2013 She hasn't realized that I saw that post, or that the post is there yet. I haven't said anything to her.
Journal Entry 7/19/2013 Kaitlan Ademola Hello?
Are you there? You haven't said much to me recently.
If you have an important day, please tell me.
Honey? Are you okay?
I'm here if you need to talk, please don't ghost me.
I love you.
I'm so sorry.
Journal Entry 7/21/2013 I told her that I know the truth. She hasn't said anything all day.
If anything happens, I'm sorry.
Journal Entry 7/25/2013 Nothing.
Journal Entry 7/30/2013 Kaitlan Ademola I'm sorry. I didn't want to know about this. I still love you.
Journal Entry 8/1/2013 Nothing.
Journal Entry 8/2/2013 Still nothing.
Journal Entry 8/3/2013 Nothing.
Journal Entry 8/6/2013 Guess who stopped by my office?
It's nice to see her again. She sat in my office awkwardly. She pat my shoulder, gave me a kiss. I asked her if I'm going to be amnesticized. She didn't say anything. She left after a few minutes.
Journal Entry 8/6/2013 Just get a message. Being demoted. I should've known.
I know she didn't send it, said it was gross negligence or whatever. Damn it. I knew I fucked up the second I opened that website. I'm gonna forget all of this. Forget the Foundation and forgetting her.
Please. I don't want to forget.
Journal Entry 8/17/2013 I miss her. Haven't seen her since.
I just want to hear her voice again. Feel her lips. I want to see her again.
Journal Entry 9/1/2013 I'm sorry, Amelia. This is for your own good. I love you.
This is the end of the file. If you would like to put in another entry, please input "Create".
Delete Which entry do you want to delete?
All Input username and password to proceed.
USER: O5-6 PASS: * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * O5 detected, overriding lock… Deleting… … … … Entries have been deleted.
Log out Logging out..
Successfully logged out! Thank you for using SCiPNET!
Footnotes 1. With limited internet access.
2. This excludes those in polyamorous relationships seeking more than one partner.
« SCP-5795 | SCP-5796 | SCP-5797 » More From This Author TroutMaskReplica's Works SCPs SCP-7345 (+131) • SCP-6160 (+78) • SCP-5315 (+42) • SCP-7619 (+36) • SCP-7825 (+36) • SCP-8790 (+128) • SCP-8420 (+84) • SCP-6356 (+53) • SCP-7640 (+46) • SCP-7799 (+34) • SCP-8990 (+26) • SCP-7973 (+72) • SCP-6825 (+89) • SCP-6294 (+40) • SCP-7155 (+63) • Tales/GoI Formats Deny, Delay, Depose (+90) • VILE (+39) • Open Water (+27) • It Will All Be Okay (+38) • Heading Off to Bed (+37) • The Son You Love (+50) • Moonlight, My Dear (+13) • One Hundred And Fifty Thousand (+67) • OPEN LETTER TO US GOVERNMENT (+20) • scatterbrained. (+52) • in her arms, (+35) • Daisies, Death, and Dysphoria (+74) • Freefall (+30) • Other Soy Un Perdedor (+22) • A timely death. (+19) • Jawn Proposal (Fanart!) (+23) • ArtExchange 2024 For UberGoober (+28) • Bohart's Life and Death (+36) • Trout's EPIC Authorpage (+165) • Christmas Industries (Art Exchange) (+17) • ‡ Licensing / Citation Cite this page as: "SCP-5796" by TroutMaskReplica, from the SCP Wiki. Source: https:// scpwiki.com/scp-5796. Licensed under CC-BY-SA.
For information on how to use this component, see the License Box component. To read about licensing policy, see the Licensing Guide.
Filename: soulmateconnectionprogram Author: Agente Shuffle License: CC BY-SA 3.0 _cc_licenseboxketerknowledgeonlinescp page revision: 16, last edited: 14 Feb 2025 20:16 Edit Rate (+105) Tags Discuss (25) History Files Print Site tools + Options Edit Sections Append Edit Meta Watchers Backlinks Page Source Parent Lock Page Rename Delete Help  | Terms of Service  | Privacy  | Report a bug  | Flag as objectionable Powered by Wikidot.com Unless otherwise stated, the content of this page is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 License Click here to edit contents of this page.
Click here to toggle editing of individual sections of the page (if possible). Watch headings for an "edit" link when available.
Append content without editing the whole page source.
Check out how this page has evolved in the past.
If you want to discuss contents of this page - this is the easiest way to do it.
View and manage file attachments for this page.
A few useful tools to manage this Site.
See pages that link to and include this page.
Change the name (also URL address, possibly the category) of the page.
View wiki source for this page without editing.
View/set parent page (used for creating breadcrumbs and structured layout).
Notify administrators if there is objectionable content in this page.
Something does not work as expected? Find out what you can do.
General Wikidot.com documentation and help section.
Wikidot.com Terms of Service - what you can, what you should not etc.
Wikidot.com Privacy Policy.
