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{$doesthisfixthebug} Item#: 4823 Level1 Containment Class: safe Secondary Class: none Disruption Class: dark Risk Class: notice link to memo SCP-4823 in containment.
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-4823 is kept in a standard containment chamber at Site-77. In case of entry from U-3567, an armed guard is positioned in the room at all times.
In order to maintain diplomatic relations, Foundation diplomats are scheduled to visit U-3567 once a month. Due to the effects that ionizing radiation has on the human body, Foundation personnel are to consume pills containing potassium iodide daily while remaining in U-3567, and individuals who have returned from U-3567 cannot enter again until at least 3 months have passed.
Edit as of 20.12.2019: Diplomatic relations have been halted. No contact with U-3567 is to be made. Responding to attempts at contact from U-3567 may be allowed if and when such a situation arises.
Description: SCP-4823 is a ripe specimen of Musa acuminata, more commonly known as a Cavendish banana. It is indestructible and does not suffer from normal biological degradation. It appears to be ancient, with thermoluminescence placing it as at least 20,000 years old.
The main anomaly of SCP-4823 is a localized trans-dimensional two-way gateway in place of fruit flesh. The gateway becomes exposed when the banana is peeled, which can only be done halfway. Upon exposure, the gateway will draw the peeler in, exposing them to a noodle effect caused by a strong non-homogenous gravitational field, in order for them to fit through. Following entry, SCP-4823 will unpeel itself.
The other end of the gateway is an identical object in U-3567. It was under the control of the U-3567 version of the SCP Foundation, and located in their version of Paris, France in the arrondisement of Butte-Montmartre. U-3567 is devoid of all animal life, instead inhabited by mobile and sentient plants, most notable of which is a species of sapient humanoid entities, collectively referred to here as SCP-4823-1, who refer to themselves as bananans, or Musa sapiens. The external morphology of SCP-4823-1 greatly resemble humans aside from having a substance identical to a banana peel in place of skin, lacking all bodily hair and having an extended cranium, similar to the shape of a baseline banana. SCP-4823-1 lack all internal organs commonly found in humans, and their flesh is identical to that of a banana. Their internal support structure more closely resembles wood than bone, their joints and tendons are made of plant fiber and their esophagus leads to an acid-filled vat similar to the trap of a pitcher plant.
Due to the lack of animals and animal by-products, as well as different evolutionary paths resulting in the lack of several baseline plants1, many cultural and economic aspects of the societies on U-3567 vary greatly from baseline reality. This includes religion, trade and geography. Despite this, social structures are largely unaffected.
Following the containment of SCP-4823, diplomatic relations with U-3567's version of the SCP Foundation were established for the purposes of sharing information and researching U-3567. However, due to the repercussions of Incident 4823-39, the state of U-3567 and its inhabitants have been affected to such an extent that diplomatic relations are no longer possible. See Addendum 4823.1.
The origins of SCP-4823 or why U-3567 is connected to baseline reality through SCP-4823 is unknown.
+ Addendum 4823.1 Incident Report 4823-39: On 05/12/2019, five ambassadors of baseline Foundation entered SCP-4823 as usual. They were scheduled to stay in U-3567 for a week. On the second day, one of the representatives of the U-3567 Foundation failed to show up to a scheduled meeting. Stay of the ambassadors was extended, searches were conducted and after three days, the corpse of the representative was found in a storage room, infested with fruit fly larvae. The larvae had most likely hatched from eggs that were laid by a fruit fly that accidentally came with our ambassadors, as fruit flies are not a naturally occurring species in U-3567. The corpse of the representative was promptly incinerated. However, the original breeding pair was not found. A week later, a fruit fly infestation in the storage room was discovered. The site was locked down and extermination efforts involving pesticide and flamethrowers were enacted, but eventually proved unsuccessful and control of the infestation was lost. U-3567 Foundation demanded that the representatives leave, and after their return to baseline, no attempt at contact from U-3567 has been made.
+ Addendum 4823.2 Incident Report 4823-40: On 3/6/2020, SCP-4823 unpeeled itself and a journal was ejected out of it. The words "Valery's Journal" have been handwritten on the cover. The following are digitized versions of select pages from the journal, translated from French.
18/12/2019 Dear Diary, I can barely hold this pen, for I am exhausted after today. Regardless, I am happy, for I had a lot of fun. Firstly, my mother told me in the morning that Aunt Latundan is coming home for the holidays all the way from Portugal. We haven't seen her in years due to her being so busy with her herd of nectar stomachs2. Then, in school, I sat next to Williams again. He has such perfect skin it's unbelievable. I couldn't concentrate on the lesson at all, LMSO3. Then, after school me and Eleele went to the strider4 stables and I got to ride with my sweet girl Farges again.
Oh! And we have a new school nurse, because the previous one unfortunately died due to crown rot a few weeks ago. That disease apparently makes you lose your fingers, absolutely horrible. Anyway, we finally got a replacement. Her name is Java, and she's originally from Northern Asia. Some of the boys in our class called her a rude name, but I think her blue skin is absolutely beautiful.
I also gave self-made mittens as little gifts to the two guards in front of the office building near our school. I walk past the building on my way to school and back every single day and they are always standing there, no matter the weather. And it's cold this time of the year! So I decided to give them something to keep them warm. They looked very happily surprised and immediately put them on. I think I made their day :) 19/12/2019 I hope you haven't been waiting all day for something exciting, dear Diary of mine, because this day was pretty standard. We got a new assignment from Mr. Awak, which is kind of dumb and annoying right before Christmas like this, but whatever. I came straight home after school in order to get started on it. We're supposed to make an essay about evolution and it turns out that our ancient ancestors were weird crescent-shaped fruits that grew from giant flowers. Evolution is weird, man. One thing of note though.
The guards in front of the building weren't there today. They're always there! I think they do something really important in that building, so I don't know why on Earth they would leave the gate unattended.
Oh, I almost forgot! I also got invited to a party! Fe'i's parent's are gone for the weekend, so she's throwing a huge party. I hear Williams is coming too, it's gonna be so much fun!
20/12/2019 I don't know what to write. I don't know what to think, really. This feels pointless right now, but for some reason I still want to do it. Habit, I guess.
Williams is dead. Earlier today, I heard him complain to his friends that he wasn't feeling very well. I can't believe I was hoping that he would still come to the party. And then when he did, I was super happy. I caught him alone and we started talking and we were having fun but then… then his eye came off and these tiny white creatures began to slither out of his socket. He tried to say something, but then he just dropped. He was dead, I know he was, he had no expression and his… eye was wide open, but he kept twitching. Oh god, the twitching and the buzzing and the dark cloud that came out of him. I ran I just ran and I heard screams but I just ran and I didn't look where and I only realized after an hour that I was going to the wrong direction and then i had to take a train home and oh god. I didn't tell my parents, I just locked myself in my room. [unintelligible due to being crossed over multiple times with a pencil, causing the page to tear slightly] What were those things?
21/12/2019 The news are talking about the creatures. Nobody seems to know what they are or where they came from, but they are spreading.
They've taken over the entire 9th arrondisement, which is why we are preparing to leave to the shelter. Helicopters have been flying over our house all day. This… this can't be real.
22/12/2019 I'm writing this from the shelter. There are maybe a few dozen of us here. We should have food and water for 6 months, and the solar lamp in the ceiling apparently lasts forever, so through relying on photosynthesizing as much as possible we should be able to stretch that to a year, if necessary.
There's a television here. We're watching the military trying to get rid of the creatures, or "carvers" as people have started to call them. They don't seem to have a lot of success though… At least my parents and Eleele are here with me, as well as that new school nurse. We're gonna get through this together, I know we will.
30/12/2019 We're not at the shelter anymore. We're in an abandoned coffee shop. 'We' meaning me, Eleele and Java. Everyone else is dead, even my parents. The carvers attacked out of nowhere, probably got in through the ventilation. Java noticed before everyone else and helped me and Eleele get out before we were eaten alive like everyone else, though we didn't get out in one piece either. One of the carvers managed to plant its seeds in Eleele's arm. Java had to cut off everything below the elbow using a knife from the shop. Right now, she's helping her with the pain and I'm writing this. I don't really know why, I guess it kind of calms me down.
Everything is gone. The sky is darkened with countless carvers and the streets are littered with twitching bodies filled with the offspring of those vile creatures. These things just keep spreading and eating and spreading and nothing is slowing them down. Most of the military has retreated. There are still some copters far away trying to keep the infestation to Paris, but it's only a matter of time until they break through and devour all of France, maybe all of the world.
07/01/2020 We finally found another group of survivors. About 30 or so individuals. They were hesitant to let us join them at first, but a few of them are wounded and Java is a nurse. We really do owe our lives to her. The people here are pretty hardy and cynical, no-nonsense kind of people, but a few of them seem nice.
Eleele has been really depressed ever since her parents died and she lost her arm. It pains me to see her like this. She used to be so happy and bubbly.
Why did all of this have to happen to us? What did we do?
I've tried to keep track of the date for you my dear Diary, but I'm afraid I've lost track. I guess it doesn't really matter anymore anyway. Our numbers are dwindling. Just today we lost 3 people, because Mysore, that idiot, went into a room with a carcass in it while we were scavenging in someone's former home. That carcass had carvers in it, and of course they got excited over fresh meat and came for us instead. We had to lock the door behind Mysore, Pome and Silk, or else they would have eaten us as well.
…I can still hear them screaming and pounding at the door.
Eleele killed herself. We couldn't find her this morning and after searching for a while, we saw her sprawled on the sidewalk below. She had thrown herself out of a window of the apartment building we were staying in during the night.
There was so much we wanted to do together… We had big plans of traveling the world, from the petrified forests of Russia to the beaches of Australia. One of her biggest dreams was getting to swim with the algae leviathans that inhabit the southern oceans. I almost murdered Kru when he said that Eleele was only weighing us down with her disability.
In other news, we're back at Montmartre. Home, yay.
I wonder if those guards I gave the mittens to are still alive somewhere. I doubt it. Anyway, we're scavenging in the office building they were guarding.
There are bodies everywhere. Like, more than I have seen anywhere else before. It's like these people didn't even try to escape. A lot of them have guns too… I wonder what they did in this building.
This place is starting to creep me out. We stayed the night, and now we can't found the exit anymore. It's like the hallways and rooms have switched places overnight!5 But surely that's impossible. I did find some weird papers though. They were in what looked like some sort of lab and they were describing something that could have been straight out of some science fiction flick.
They're a I'm Fuck I'm alone. The carvers came out of nowhere. It was as if they had just popped into existence. Right in the middle of the group. We were getting ready for bed and I was a bit further away from everyone else, when I started to suddenly hear screaming. I managed to get out of the door and slam it behind me before they got to me fully. I left them all to die like a coward. But it doesn't matter, for I am not long for this world either. I'm pretty sure at least one of the carvers managed to plant its seeds in me.
fuck Fuck FUCK [rest of the page is unintelligible] I know what you did. All of you. Eleele, my parents, Java, Williams and millions of others are dead because of you. That's right. I found "SCP-4823" or whatever you call it, and the document that describes everything that happened. How your people came here through this and brought this plague upon us.
I'll be dead soon, just like everyone else. I can already feel the seeds sprouting and the carver offspring burrowing through my flesh. For that reason I'm not going through, for there is no hope for me anymore. Instead I'm sending this diary through, so you would know exactly what you did to us.
Note: The journal has been stored in Item Locker 7128 of Site-77's non-anomalous storage wing.
Footnotes 1. Including baseline bananas.
2. Large, sentient and quadrupedal plants that gather their nectar in a large sac on the underside of their body. SCP-4823-1 use these creatures to produce nectar for distribution and consumption.
3. "Laughing my stem off", a slang term used to express amusement.
4. Sentient and hexapedal plants that SCP-4823-1 commonly use as transportation due to their agility. Seem to have evolved from a plant resembling baseline bamboo.
5. It is possible that some item contained at the site had caused the architecture of the building to change due to containment procedures not being followed.
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