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Description SCP-7278 is an object which has become definitionally compromised. To clarify, it is impossible to accurately describe all of SCP-7278's properties and conceptual being within a single word or phrase, with attempts by the Department of Miscommunications only being able to reach the 70% threshold. It is for this reason that determining the true nature of SCP-7278 is extremely difficult and likely impossible.
Extensive testing of SCP-7278 has managed to determined that it has the following properties: It is mechanical in nature; Its volume is approximately 1.6 m3 and its weight is approximately 300 kg; Its shape is that of a rectangular prism; One of its sides has a keypad attached to it as well as a slot to insert money into; It contains several low cost candies and snacks, such as chocolate bars and bags of potato chips; It will dispense said candies once money has been placed into it and a code has been entered into the keypad, associated with the dispensed candy, SCP-7278 gained its anomalous properties following a thaumaturgic ritual being performed upon it by an unknown Fae thaumaturgist (PoI-7278).
SCP-7278 was discovered on the streets of FP-120 ("Esterberg") on 2/27/2019. The object was given to the Foundation's safekeeping by the Esterberg government.
• • • • • • Incident 7278.01 SCP-7278 gained its anomalous properties on 2/26/2019 after the following incident.
Date: 2/26/2019 Subject: PoI-7278 Foreword: The following log was taken by an Esterberg security camera. Footage procured after the incident.
[BEGIN LOG] PoI-7278 walks across the street, whistling slightly. They stop in front of SCP-7278.
PoI-7278 produces a 5 złoty coin from their pocket and places it within SCP-7278. After a pause, the SCP-7278 rejects the coin and PoI-7278 takes it back. They then attempt to place it back into SCP-7278. This repeats approximately twenty times, with PoI-7278 growing increasingly more exasperated.
PoI-7278 attempts to use a different 5 złoty coin and this time succeeds in having SCP-7278 accept the coin. PoI-7278 then types 52 on the keypad, corresponding to a Grześki chocolate bar.
SCP-7278 rejects PoI-7278's coin and its screen displays a "no designation found" error.
PoI-7278 stares at SCP-7278 for approximately twenty seconds before beginning to bang on and shake SCP-7278. No change is noted within SCP-7278.
PoI-7278 then attempts to purchase the chocolate bar, dropping the coin and picking it up several times. Each time they attempt to type a number into the keypad, they are met with a "no designation found" error. This repeats for some time, each time being punctuated by PoI-7278 verbally and physically abusing SCP-7278.
PoI-7278 shakes their fist angrily and bangs on SCP-7278.
PoI-7278: Skurwysynu!1 PoI-7278 glows with Elan Vital Energy as they begin to attempt a thaumaturgic ritual.
PoI-7278: (in Polish) I'll show you no designation found… The recording ends.
« SCP-7277 | SCP-7278 | SCP-7279 » ‡ Licensing / Citation Cite this page as: "SCP-7278" by NielleiN, from the SCP Wiki. Source: https://scpwiki.com/ scp-7278. Licensed under CC-BY-SA.
For information on how to use this component, see the License Box component. To read about licensing policy, see the Licensing Guide.
Footnotes 1. A Polish curse word.
_licenseboxcomedyesterbergfrom-120s-archiveshomo-sapiens- sidhemechanicalmiscommunicationsnamelesssafesapientscpslice-of-lifethaumaturgy page revision: 17, last edited: 12 Sep 2024 10:13 Edit Rate (+120) Tags Discuss (16) History Files Print Site tools + Options Edit Sections Append Edit Meta Watchers Backlinks Page Source Parent Lock Page Rename Delete Help  | Terms of Service  | Privacy  | Report a bug  | Flag as objectionable Powered by Wikidot.com Unless otherwise stated, the content of this page is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 License Click here to edit contents of this page.
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