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rating: +178+–x NOTICE FROM THE FOUNDATION RECORDS AND INFORMATION SECURITY ADMINISTRATION Sharing derivative media depicting this object's active state propagates a virulent audio- borne infohazard. This trait was discovered in the course of testing. Initial containment procedures have been updated with essential information rendered in blue.
— Maria Jones, Director, RAISA Item#: 4581 Level2 Containment Class: safe Secondary Class: none Disruption Class: keneq Risk Class: caution link to memo Special Containment Procedures: In the absence of a playback device, SCP-4581 can be considered inert, and shall be stored in the temperature-controlled archival vault in the secure wing of Site-76. Any testing of SCP-4581-A is to be conducted in a soundproofed room equipped with audiovisual surveillance. Any proposed testing involving SCP-4581 must be approved by the Site-76 RAISA Coordinator. Sanctioned tests must only be documented via contemporaneous transcript; audio recording devices of any kind are strictly barred from the testing environment.
SCP-4581 in storage.
Description: SCP-4581 is a single-sided cassette tape similar to the Dead Kennedys' 1981 album In God We Trust, Inc. The cassette has an extraordinary resistance to physical tampering, and refuses any attempt to overwrite either side of the tape.
The visual design deviates from standard releases in several conspicuous ways. Where Side One should bear the release company's name, it instead says "mxm bootleg edition", and their logo is replaced with a crossed-out swastika. This design is identical to the cover art for the 7" vinyl release of "Nazi Punks Fuck Off", a version of which appears as Track 6 on In God We Trust, Inc.1 Side Two has been altered from its original message ("Home taping is killing record industry profits! We left this side blank so you can help.") and now reads, "copyright can poison fascist propaganda! I left this side blank so you can BLANK".
Normal playback does not activate any anomalous effects. The album proceeds as expected with a runtime of 13 minutes and 54 seconds; as advertised, Side Two is blank.
When placed in a compatible device, any attempt to overwrite Side One will trigger SCP-4581's active state. The cassette will begin playing popular music targeted for stringent copyright enforcement on YouTube2 at a volume of 60 to 130 decibels (dB) from no discernible source; this effect is designated SCP-4581-A. Track selection is biased towards music considered disrespectful or "situationally inappropriate" by observers. Despite the physical limitations of the magnetic tape, SCP-4581-A will continue playback indefinitely unless interrupted, thus posing a risk of hearing damage3 to observers without ear protection. For detailed testing information, consult Addendum 4581-1.
When recordings of SCP-4581-A are uploaded to any network-capable device, an audio- borne infohazard (SCP-4581-∞) will propagate across all media the current user can possibly access. SCP-4581-∞ overwrites all audio channels with a loop of a single, random track, and spreads when given access to new files. This includes when a different user uploads files affected by SCP-4581-∞ to a new network, or when the current user logs into another network.
Attempting to overwrite Side Two triggers an opposing effect: a nullification field that silences all communications and scrubs all audio recordings within a range of 300 meters, reducing them to high-frequency noise consistent with analogue magnetic "tape hiss". This effect, designated SCP-4581-B, will also persist indefinitely until interrupted, and is essential for containing SCP-4581-∞. It is reasonable to conclude that these combined effects were engineered with the intent of making any recorded material unusable for commercial, journalistic or documentary purposes. See Addendum 4581-2 for expanded testing information.
SCP-4581-B is preceded by an eight-second burst of high-frequency sound, which displays a Keter-class memetic hazard when rendered as an audio spectrogram.
Following this discovery, key words pertaining to SCP-4581 were added to Foundation webcrawler I/O-GASNIER4, and "mxm" was flagged as a potential Person of Interest.
+ Show Spectrogram  [WARNING: LEVEL 3 MEMETIC HAZARD "Did you know that world-renowned writer Stephen King was once hit by a car? Just something to consider." Discovery: SCP-4581 was recovered from the epicenter of a spontaneous communications blackout in ███████, Washington on 2017/04/20, after a street confrontation between left-wing and right-wing demonstrators. Local law enforcement reported an interval of "deafening music" before abruptly losing contact with their dispatcher inside SCP-4581-B's range of effect. Dispatched to the scene, MTF Iota-10 ("Damn Feds") discovered that all audio recorded at the event had been expunged. They identified SCP-4581 in a torn and discarded backpack, along with a portable cassette player and a tape case stenciled with the following directions: WEAR EARPLUGS!
press record to activate side 1: copyright killer side 2: get-away jam TRACK 6 FOREVER + Addendum 4581-1: Partial Testing Logs Testing Protocol: Experiment was conducted in a soundproofed room equipped with a video camera and microphone. SCP-4581 was placed on Side A inside a conventional cassette deck.
Subject: Control Results: "Paparazzi", Lady Gaga (60 dB); "Don't Look Any Further", Dennis Edwards (60 dB); "Never Gonna Give You Up", Rick Astley (65 dB).
Comments: Researcher Gore compares the effect to "a really tacky FM radio station".
Subject: D-6811, former Site-██ staff, traded materiel to Marshall, Carter & Dark, Ltd.
Results: "Blame it on Cain", Elvis Costello (70 dB); "Pretty Fly (For A White Guy)", The Offspring (70 dB); "The Hand That Feeds", Nine Inch Nails (80 dB).
Subject: D-5294, convicted murderer, domestic abuser, member of the Aryan Brotherhood.
Results: "Skinhead on the MBTA", Dropkick Murphys5 (90-120 dB); "My Axe", Insane Clown Posse (120 dB); "Broken Hearts Are For Assholes", Frank Zappa (130 dB).
Comments: D-5294 attempted to sing along with the chorus of the first track, but volume spontaneously increased, prompting irritation. The third track provoked an outburst, and the subject requested to end the test prematurely.
Afterwards, D-5294 reported a severe migraine and requested painkillers, which were administered promptly.
Subject: Security Officer ██████ █████, staff volunteer, former domestic law enforcement.
Description: Subject was provided with over-ear hearing protection before beginning the test.
Results: "Prison Song", System of a Down (120 dB); "Nothing to Lose", Tupac Shakur (130 dB); "Fuck Tha Police", N.W.A. (130 dB).
Comments: Afterwards, Security Officer █████ demonstrated no ill effects, affirming that any headaches associated with SCP-4581-A are non- anomalous.
Following the project team's initial report, RAISA detected unauthorized changes on the Site-76 staging server. Timestamps indicate that the alterations began twenty-three minutes after Researcher Penelope Gore uploaded the first recording of SCP-4581-A, resulting in all media associated with her account being dubbed over with Rage Against the Machine's 1992 song "Killing in the Name".
Audited server logs demonstrated no sign of external penetration, suggesting that this event was a tertiary effect of SCP-4581. RAISA designated this infohazard SCP-4581-∞, all testing was halted pending a full project review, and SCP-4581's Disruption Class was upgraded to Keneq.
+ Addendum 4581-2: Penelope Gore's Personal Log Entry 01 — I screwed up. Bad. Just left a meeting with the Site Director and our RAISA coordinator. SCP-4581-∞ has contaminated every multimedia file I've ever uploaded at Site-76, including critical research on SCP-████ and SCP-████-██. It's supposedly contained to our local network (to be safe, they've deauthenticated my SCiPNet clearance) but they won't tell me whether the remote backups are intact. Trying not to think about it. Don't think I'm getting an official reprimand yet but they were absolutely furious. Me too. I thought the anomaly was simple. Lesson learned. Joke's on me. Har har.
Entry 02 — Looking at this debacle with fresh eyes and I might be onto something. I pulled an old desktop terminal out of storage, and when I used my webcam to record straight to an .mp4, the resulting audio sounded clean.
When I uploaded that .mp4 that to a virtual machine, the copy played "Killing in the Name". When I moved some unrelated, non-contaminated files to the VM, they got contaminated too. I don't know how it's doing this, but its persistence is fuc wearisome. (At least it picked a good song this time.) SCP-4581-A is a poison pill. Maybe it came with an antidote? "get-away jam" is a weird way to phrase "mute" or "silence". I might be able to fix this; currently revising and resubmitting my testing proposal.
Entry 03 — Good news: tests approved. Bad news: EVERYONE KNOWS.
The Site Director has reclassified SCP-4581 to Unrestricted, so literally everyone has the briefing. I've never been so embarrassed. (OK pity party over. Work to be done.) Entry 04 — SCP-4581-∞ Communicability Test Description: Three air-gapped laptops were signed out for this test. Laptop C was set aside as a control; Laptop A and B were instatiated from USB boot drive then assigned identical login profiles and passwords. 10 seconds of subject-recorded video ("selfie" angle depicting subject's exaggerated frown) transferred to Laptop A.
Results: Laptop A and B both contaminated with SCP-4581-∞.
Entry 05 — SCP-4581-B Nullification Test Description: Laptops B and C remain in situ. Subject proceeds with Laptop A to a predesignated testing area 900m from the Site-76 perimeter, ensuring facility is far outside SCP-4581-B's range of influence. Subject activates SCP-4581-B, waits for sixty seconds, then deactivates the anomaly.
Results: All audio content on Laptop A is overwritten with high-frequency noise, including media contaminated by SCP-4581-∞.
Description: 10 seconds of subject video ("frown") uploaded to Laptop B.
Results: Formerly-contaminated media still plays "Killing in the Name", but does not propagate SCP-4581-∞ to uncontaminated files.
Description: Laptop C set up with identical login credentials to A and B. 10 seconds of subject video ("excitement") uploaded to Laptop C.
Results: No contamination.
Comments: GOTC Containment re-established.
At this time, the only method of removing SCP-4581-∞ from an affected individual is direct exposure to SCP-4581-B. This will halt infohazard propagation from all derivative users, but will not restore the original audio in affected files.
+ Addendum 4581-3: Excerpts from recovered GoI-5869 chat lo On 2017/09/21, MTF Upsilon-20 ("Hogtown Garrison") raided a Montreal safehouse affiliated with GoI-5869 ("Gamers Against Weed"). In addition to 28 GB of non- anomalous pirated media and assorted leftist propaganda, MTF Upsilon-20 recovered the following chat logs from an encrypted server.
polaricecraps: god DAMN it polaricecraps: that fucking guy is back in town lesbian_gengar: which guy polaricecraps: the fashy guy polaricecraps: calls himself a journo but he's just a fuckin grifter polaricecraps: follows nazis around with cameras when they terrorize our neighbors steakshift has entered the chat.
polaricecraps: and cuts the vid to make them look like the victims when people fight back lesbian_gengar: again lesbian_gengar: which guy bluntfiend: There's so many dudes like that.
polaricecraps: that's why im PISSED polaricecraps: its super obvious what they're doing but lib media just plays along polaricecraps: and if anyone clocks him it';s an assault on free speech or something tiedyeduck: "gOtTA HeAr bOth SidEs" polaricecraps: so he keeps starting shit and putting it on youtube and making money off the ads steakshift: what's happening itc tiedyeduck: plus crowdfunding bluntfiend: PIC is GMO.
bluntfiend: Getting Mad Online.
polaricecraps: fuck off blunt polaricecraps: ppl keep getting hurt bc of this showboat and his fascist buds bluntfiend: Wow, someone needs a nap!
polaricecraps: wanna teach those pricks a lesson bones: PIC, we all respect your outrage with this pattern of exploitation, but you are moving this conversation in a familiar and unwelcome direction.
polaricecraps: I didn't mean THAT kind of lesson, fuk polaricecraps: I just wanna like steakshift: hold up polaricecraps polaricecraps: give him a swirly polaricecraps: not break his knees steakshift: I have just the thing steakshift: put it together a while back to fuck with some RW propagandists at a demo steakshift: mix came out catchier than I expected, ended up tanking their stream and then their whole yt channel steakshift: they haven't posted since tiedyeduck: rekt polaricecraps: so thisll ruin his day steakshift: oh yeah. maybe even his year polaricecraps: sweet polaricecraps: uh steakshift polaricecraps: i got the package polaricecraps: no disrespect but polaricecraps: what even is this steakshift: what do you mean steakshift: you've never heard of Dead Kennedys?
polaricecraps: i know dead kennedies polaricecraps: but what is this steakshift: ??
steakshift: it's a cassette tape polaricecraps: wut steakshift: plz tell me you've heard of cassettes polaricecraps: wut steakshift: plz steakshift: plz say sike bluntfiend: Congratulations, steakshift.
bluntfiend: You are old!
steakshift: I’m only 32!!
kkrule: that’s old polaricecraps: old DonDeLillo: old tiedyeduck: lmao told tiedyeduck: *old steakshift: I am not old steakshift: y'all are just, younger lesbian_gengar: oh, honey.
bluntfiend: It's the children who are wrong.
bones: From my perspective, thirty-two terrestrial years does not seem like a long time.
steakshift: thank you, bones bluntfiend: Lmao yes, thanks bones.
bones: You are welcome.
bluntfiend: So sagely.
steakshift: wait bluntfiend: So wise.
steakshift: "terrestrial"?
polaricecraps: cmonn steak how do i use this thing steakshift: ask your parents ffs Research indicates that PoI-6880 ("polaricecraps") was referring to ██████ ███, a right-wing provocateur with ties to non-anomalous hate groups. ███ is implicated in a series of high-profile street conflicts, which have resulted in one fatality and ██ publicly- reported injuries. While ███ was present in the recovery area at the time of MTF Iota-10's investigation, he demonstrated that his camera had been wiped. ███ was amnesticized and released when he demanded exorbitant monetary compensation for alleged damages; ███ regularly updates his media channels and is clearly not under the influence of SCP-4581-∞.
Researchers have been unable to correlate "steakshift's" alleged deployment of SCP-4581-∞, implying that affected user(s) may remain uncontained. "steakshift", AKA "mxm", was summarily deemed PoI-6966.
You have (1) new unread message in your inbox.
Researcher Gore, We just got a potential hit on a PoI you entered into the system. MTF U-20 is spinning up for a catch-and-release operation right this second. Given your history with SCP-4581, I thought you might be able to extract some valuable information from this individual; please let us know if you have the time and workload capacity for a secondary assignment.
— M. L. Adelaide, Interim Director, Site-201 On 2018/05/23, Foundation webcrawler I/O-GASNIER flagged a non-anomalous swap meet in Sudbury, Ontario, where an undercover member of MTF Upsilon-20 reported an attendee wearing a "MxMasters" name tag. The target was apprehended when they left the venue and brought in for interrogation.
Interviewed: Wren Masterson, suspected PoI-6966 ("steakshift", "mxm") Interviewer: Researcher Penelope Gore, Site-76 <Begin Log> Masterson: Finally. Is my lawyer on the way?
Gore: No, I'm afraid not.
M: Figures. Your boys just laughed when I asked about that. Are you a cop, "Tipper"? You have to tell me if you're a cop.
G: No. Please don't call me that. I'm Researcher Penelope Gore, and I have some questions for you.
M: I'm not going to answer any… Wait. Those guys said… (pause) They call you "Tipper Gore"? Like the censor?6 (laughing) G: (pause) Yes, Ms. Masterson.
M: Mx. Masterson. I'm a they, not a she.
G: Apologies. Can you guess why they call me "Tipper", Mx. Masterson?
M: I'm assuming you're a prude.
G: Not exactly. Do you like Dead Kennedys, Wren?
M: Uh, yes. (pause) Oh. (pause) Oh shit. (laughing) This is… awkward.
G: Yes. Well. Suffice it to say that I contained your "project", but my coworkers enjoy rubbing it in my face. (pause) Forgive me if I'm somewhat terse.
M: Forgiven. Reap what you sow and all that. How'd y'all get the tape?
G: That's classified. Are you identifying yourself as the original owner and/or creator of SCP-4581?
M: (pause) Uh… no?
G: Then why is your name on it? "MxMasters", "mxm"? Not the most subtle alias.
M: (pause) Is this is what you humans call… "hubris"?
G: Are you implying that you are non-human?
M: No, I was just… (pause) Trying to be funny. Fuck. Well. Janitors aren't cops, technically, so I'll indulge you. I'm not going to remember this, am I?
G: That's not my department.
M: Well that's… (inaudible) handy. (whistles dejectedly) Alright, Researcher Penelope Gore. Ask your questions.
G: How long have you been able to create these anomalies?
M: Since, uh, high school I guess. 2003, 2004-ish.
G: Was there a precipitating event?
M: I watched "The Ring". (laughing) Always liked movies — wore out my VHS Disney classics and Original Trilogy, just watching and rewatching — but I'd never thought about making my own until I saw "The Ring".
G: Could you expound on that?
M: Sure. Uh, bottom-line, the big bad is an unwanted little girl who makes spirit photographs. She gets pissed, thinks about stuff, it appears on film, and it hurts people, even after she dies. (pause) The first time I saw it, I was alone at home, and I thought it was stupid. I thought, "that's not how pictures work. That's not how movies are made. Ghosts don't call you on the phone." But I watched all the way to the end… G: Go on.
M: …and then my fucking phone rang. I almost pissed myself. It wasn't a ghost on the other end, it was just a fluke, freak timing. But when it scared me, that fear sorta… jumped out. When I went back into the living room, there was this screaming, shimmering white face on the television screen.
Fading, indistinct, but it was my face. I could tell.
G: And this inspired you?
M: It terrified me. At first I thought my soul had, like, fucked off through the TV set. (laughing) But yeah, I tried again a few weeks later. I thought really hard at some Polaroids and it didn't do shit. Eventually I realized that I didn't know enough about the medium. I would listen to my favorite bands, but didn't really understand music. I took photos and watched movies but I didn't understand film. I was seeing the world through a pinhole, and I didn't even realize. Turns out, bouncing energy off a CRT is easy. Thought photography?
Tough, for rookies. Mentally compositing a datastream, then laying it down through an arrangement of metallic particles, in a machine-readable format?
That's a fucking challenge, and I live for it.
G: Did you model yourself on the girl in the movie? Did you set out to do people harm?
M: What? No. God, no. Imagine having that sort of power and using it to torture randos. No, that's never been cool. Art can be grim and punishing but it shouldn't be, like… pointlessly hostile. I grew out of that mindset a long time ago, found my real voice, my real self. Eventually I even found some like-minded people. We're not into random violence.
G: Then why make SCP-4581?
M: I mean, I thought the label was pretty self-explanatory.
G: You don't consider SCP-4581-∞ "random" or "violent"?
M: (pause) What is "SCP-4581-infinite"?
G: Your infohazard.
M: Oh, you mean the Loop. It's the Loop and the Jam. (pause) Let me ask you a question, Researcher Gore: do you think that building a gun is a violent act?
G: Yes. A gun is a killing implement. Its design and construction is shaped by intent.
M: Okay. What about a camera?
G: (pause) I'm not sure I follow.
M: Guns, cameras, cassettes - to me, all tools. Good or bad, it's people who put them to work.
G: Are you saying "guns don't kill people"?
M: No, guns are designed for killing. But with training and safeguards you can use a rifle to hunt game, feed a family, protect a community. It's all responsibility and intent. Mundane cameras kill people too, when they misrepresent or escalate a situation. Propaganda is the bedrock of genocide.
Yet whoever's behind the lens is always read as neutral. When they're obviously not.
G: That's an absurd reduction. There are extremes, yes, but there is such a thing as an objective, scientific view. A mundane object doesn't blow someone's eardrums out and then wipe them off the Internet. That was you.
You built a bomb, and then you sent it to a child.
M: "An objective, scientific view", what horseshit. Janitors. You run tests and collapse everything into reports and pretend you're not influencing the results. We all change things just by observing, and we decide how to observe. That's why there's a choice built into the Loop… uh, the thing.
(snaps fingers) SCP-4581-whatever. You don't have to share that salacious gossip, or that video of a dude getting his head kicked in. You don't have to profit from their pain. You can just… scrap that take. Move on. Everyone will be better for it.
G: I have a printout here… chat logs describing your use of SCP-4581-∞ against unidentified "right-wing propagandists".
M: That… may have happened.
G: Will you tell us more about that?
M: I would prefer not to.
G: Why?
M: The circumstances don't matter anymore. It's done. Closed Loop. You don't need to worry about that guy.
G: What makes you so sure "the Loop" is closed? SCP-4581-∞ could be lingering around your target, or a derivative- M: Because I'm a responsible human being, Tipper. When I built this weapon, and yes I acknowledge it's a weapon, thank you, I included a safety.
When the Mysterious Mr. Fucko's channel got yanked, I drove7 by his house playing the Jam. I knocked on his door and asked for directions and he said fuck off, he didn't have time for dykes, his business was collapsing. So I went home. Mission complete.
G: You think you changed your target's outlook by… destroying their livelihood?
M: Doubt it. I could have played that tape while screaming, "stop harassing brown people for money", and he'd still be racist. That doesn't matter, though, because "hearts and minds" isn't the point. It's about power and affect. Y'all are about containment and protection, right? He used his platform to hurt people. Now he can't. If you actually cared about normies, you'd appreciate my public service. (pause) Can I please have my tape back?
G: No. Why?
M: It has sentimental value. Plus, I'm an indie librarian of sorts. I prefer it when my loans are returned. No fees, mind you, that defeats the purpose of mutual aid, but folks typically respect the quid pro quo. (pause) What did the tape play for you? What did it leave behind?
G: I'm not at liberty to discuss our investigation.
M: Really? Shit, not even a consolation prize. Janitors really can't take a joke.
G: (pause) It trolled me with Lady Gaga and Rick Astley.
M: (laughing) G: I've always hated pop music. (pause) SCP-4581-∞ overwrote files with Rage Against The Machine.
M: Interesting. (pause) You should quit your job.
G: Excuse me?
M: I mean, not to tell you your business, but "SCP-4581-∞" is a reflection of the operator. It's based on the circumstances that led you to make the mistake of uploading it. If I were to guess, I'd say you were… conflicted, about your place in a bigger system?
G: (pause) No offence, "steakshift", but I'm not about to take career advice from someone in their thirties who thinks a name like "Gamers Against Weed" is funny.
M: Again, fair. My sense of humor is terrible. Want to hear a joke?
G: Not particularly.
M: Two Oscar Meyer guys are on the highway in the Wienermobile. Been out there for hours, mile after mile, on and on and on. Driver asks his buddy to take the wheel. Passenger says, "no, I can't." Driver says, "I'm dyin' here, take the wheel, I need a nap." Passenger shakes his head. Driver flips out.
"What the hell is wrong with you? This is part of the job! I've been driving for hours. It's your turn!" Passenger just… collapses in on himself. He says, "I'm sorry to let you down, man. I drive an automatic. I can't handle a steak-shift." (pause) G: (inaudible) Are you done?
M: Yep.
G: (pause) Will you answer additional questions about your history, education, anomalous abilities, projects, personal enterprises and affiliations, particularly your relationship with GoI-5869, "Gamers Against Weed", and the members thereof?
M: Nope.
G: (pause) You were mostly compliant, before. What changed?
M: (clears throat) "Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me." G: Alright then. Goodbye, Mx. Masterson.
M: (whistles dejectedly) <End Log> Closing Statement: Wren Masterson (PoI-6966) was amnesticized and released from Foundation custody in Sudbury. The surveillance team lost contact shortly thereafter. Tracking their whereabouts is considered a low priority.
Footnotes 1. This logo has been associated with a number of left-wing causes, most notably the Anti-Racist Action Network (ARA).
2. Defined here as being barred from monetization and/or playback in >230 countries. In testing, 97% of selected tracks were blocked in both the mainland United States and Canada.
3. Prolonged exposure to sound in excess of 85 dB can cause hearing damage. For comparison, an average conversation is 60 dB; a rock concert, 100 dB; a jet takeoff, 130 dB.
4. An automated agent designed to search public Internet and "dark web" content for keywords associated with GoI-5869 ("Gamers Against Weed").
5. An adaptation of "The MTA Song", a folk tune describing the plight of a man trapped on a subway. This rendition refers to "skinheads" in the context of the Boston hardcore scene, where Skinheads Against Racial Prejudice (SHARP) were diametrically opposed to neo-Nazis.
6. Mary Elizabeth "Tipper" Gore co-founded the Parents Music Resource Center (PMRC) to pressure the recording industry into placing warning labels on media featuring sexually explicit, violent or drug-related content.
7. Official registry information uncovered by MTF Iota-10 indicates that Mx. Masterson has never owned a car, nor do they possess a driver's license.
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