SCP Foundation Secure, Contain, Protect About About Us Site Rules FAQ Licensing Criticism Policy Article Deletions Community Site News IRC Chat Authors' Pages Artist Directory Contest Archive Staff List Resources Guides Essays & Resources Wiki Syntax Sandbox Usertools Sister Sites SCP International Wanderer's Library Contact Us ≡ About About Us Site Rules FAQ Licensing Criticism Policy Article Deletions Contact Staff Community Site News IRC Chat Authors' Pages Artist Directory Contest Archive Staff List Resources Guides Search this site Search • ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ • ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ • ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ • ◦ ◦ • • ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ • ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ • ◦ Essays & Resources Wiki Syntax Sandbox Usertools Sister Sites SCP International Wanderer's Library Create account or Sign in Getting Started Guide for Newcomers Join the Site Contribute | FAQ Universe Hub Main | Forum SCP by Series I | II | III | IV | V VI | VII | VIII | IX Other SCP Explained | Joke International Feed New Pages Shortest | Top Rated Recent Changes New Forum Posts Lowest Rated Pages Stories Tales Hub | Series Groups of Interest GoI Formats Canon Hub Discovery Artwork Hub Curated Lists Curated Tale Series Tag Search Random SCP | Tale | GOI | Art Random Page ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ • ◦ ◦ SCP-2416 rating: +263+–x Item #: SCP-2416 Object Class: Euclid Special Containment Procedures: The current instance of SCP-2416 (now SCP-2416-21) is to be kept in a drug-induced coma at Site-59 and monitored for vital signs. If SCP-2416-21 dies for any reason, Mobile Task Force Omicron-8 "Send In The Clowns" is to be placed on high alert, and the replacement instance is to be apprehended and contained in the same manner as soon as possible.
Description: SCP-2416 refers to multiple instances of a 35-year-old Caucasian human male named Joseph Grunderson-Pike. Despite having unextraordinary brain activity and no history of neurological disorders, SCP-2416 displays diminished intellectual capacity and a high likelihood of getting into a lethal accident.
On 1/14/2006, SCP-2416-1, the original1 instance, was killed after walking onto an expressway in Chicago. This was not believed to have been suicide; shortly before it was struck by a speeding minivan, its last words were reportedly "Hey, this isn't State street!" SCP-2416-1 had funeral services, was cremated, and its death was reported in multiple Chicago newspapers.
On 3/15/2006, a living instance of SCP-2416, SCP-2416-2, was stabbed to death in Omaha after it tied a convicted murderer's shoelaces together for a prank. SCP-2416-2 was determined by law enforcement officials to be an outsider with no friends or relations in Omaha and was buried.
It is unknown how a new instance of SCP-2416 appears after the death of a previous instance. The latest instance always claims to have no recollection of having died at all, and has passed multiple polygraph tests while giving this testimony. The origin point of a "reincarnated" instance has never been successfully located, and all sightings of SCP-2416 instances have been after-the-fact.
Instance Cause of Death Comments SCP-2416-3 Overconsumption of pepper sauce.
Witnesses report that SCP-2416-3 was attempting to become "the spiciest".
SCP-2416-4 Head split in half with a table saw. Last words were reportedly "gimme a kiss".
SCP-2416-5 Mauled by a puma.
Had covered self in uncooked bacon in a zoo puma habitat on a dare.
SCP-2416-6 Rattlesnake bite.
Last words were reportedly "gimme a kiss".
SCP-2416-7 Slept in the center of a freeway.
Was "tired".
SCP-2416-8 [REDACTED] The badgers suffered only minor injuries.
SCP-2416-9 Shot by Chilean anarchists.
Last words were reportedly "gimme a kiss".
SCP-2416-10 Subjected to voluntary human experimentation by Church of the Broken God scientists; ultimate cause of death was cranial hemorrhage.
Corpse was discovered by the Foundation in a raid on the CotBG compound; Dr. ███████ reported corpse's resemblance to an urban legend about a man who comes back from the dead.
SCP-2416-11 Attempted to climb the side of the Chrysler Building without proper equipment.
Reports of death confirmed anomalous properties; Dr. ███████ orders the capture of SCP-2416.
SCP-2416-12 Cocaine overdose.
Believed it would alleviate sinus congestion.
SCP-2416-13 Alcohol poisoning.
Believed it would "lubricate" a broken arm.
SCP-2416-14 Exsanguinated after shoving a foot into a blender.
Circumstances unknown.
SCP-2416-15 Shot by Site-59 security personnel for accessing a STURM-class infohazard.
This iteration was the first to come under Foundation custody.
SCP-2416-16 Choked on food rations at Site-59.
"Really liked" oatmeal.
SCP-2416-17 Head fracture from slamming own head on wall of its cell.
Was attempting to swat a fly.
SCP-2416-18 Climbed into Site-59 incinerator.
Was looking for a bathroom.
SCP-2416-19 Gained access to a lethal cognitohazard.
Was "just curious." SCP-2416-20 Overdose of Acetaminophen at Site-59.
See below.
Interviewed: SCP-2416-20 Interviewer: Dr. Ichinose <Begin Log> Dr. Ichinose: Please state your name for the record, SCP-2416-20.
SCP-2416-20: Joe Grunderson-Pike. I got a quick question before we get started.
Dr. Ichinose: Yes?
SCP-2416-20: What did you say was the normal amount of those pills you gave me to take for a headache?
Dr. Ichinose: Two tablets.
SCP-2416-20: Wow. Yeah, that… That actually makes a lot more sense.
[SCP-2416-20, having consumed 203 tablets of extra-strength Tylenol from the Breach desk storage bin, falls unconscious] Dr. Ichinose: Medic!
<End Log> Closing Statement: SCP-2416-20 died shortly thereafter. SCP-2416-21 was later found wandering the streets of San Francisco and apprehended.
Footnotes 1. Insofar as the Foundation is aware; the likelihood of previous instances has not been ruled out.
« SCP-2415 | SCP-2416 | SCP-2417 » ‡ Licensing / Citation Cite this page as: "SCP-2416" by daveyoufool, from the SCP Wiki. Source: https://scpwiki.com/ scp-2416. Licensed under CC-BY-SA.
For information on how to use this component, see the License Box component. To read about licensing policy, see the Licensing Guide.
_licenseboxeuclidhumanoidmtf2016probabilitysapientscpself-replicating page revision: 14, last edited: 02 Oct 2022 10:19 Edit Rate (+263) Tags Discuss (42) History Files Print Site tools + Options Edit Sections Append Edit Meta Watchers Backlinks Page Source Parent Lock Page Rename Delete Help  | Terms of Service  | Privacy  | Report a bug  | Flag as objectionable Powered by Wikidot.com Unless otherwise stated, the content of this page is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 License Click here to edit contents of this page.
Click here to toggle editing of individual sections of the page (if possible). Watch headings for an "edit" link when available.
Append content without editing the whole page source.
Check out how this page has evolved in the past.
If you want to discuss contents of this page - this is the easiest way to do it.
View and manage file attachments for this page.
A few useful tools to manage this Site.
See pages that link to and include this page.
Change the name (also URL address, possibly the category) of the page.
View wiki source for this page without editing.
View/set parent page (used for creating breadcrumbs and structured layout).
Notify administrators if there is objectionable content in this page.
Something does not work as expected? Find out what you can do.
General Wikidot.com documentation and help section.
Wikidot.com Terms of Service - what you can, what you should not etc.
Wikidot.com Privacy Policy.
