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— Maria Jones, Director, RAISA ITEM #: SCP-8237 LEVEL- CONTAINMENT CLASS: SAFE DISRUPTION CLASS: EKHI Assigned Site Site-632 Site Director Dr G. Herbane Research Head Dr C. Stultus Assigned MTF N/A ITEM: SCP-8237 LEVEL- CONTAINMENT CLASS: SAFE DISRUPTION CLASS: EKHI Assigned Site Site-632 Site Director Dr G. Herbane Research Head Dr C. Stultus Assigned MTF N/A Special Containment Procedures: At this time, no copies of SCP-8237 are in containment nor have been uncovered since Incident-8237-ALTER. If any instances are recovered, they will be stored in a Class III Secure Item Lockbox at Site-19. Only a maximum of ten copies of SCP-8237 are to be stored at any given time, with any excess copies being decommissioned via incineration.
Access Archived Procedures While not in testing, SCP-8237 is to be kept within a Class III Class I Secure Item Lockbox located in Site-632 Secure Storage. The object is only to be removed from storage for testing purposes by employees with Clearance 3/8237 under direct authorization from Research Head Dr. Stultus. Should SCP-8237 be removed for testing, it is only to be read by the designated D-Class in a secure testing environment.
Note: I originally advised that the tome be kept in a higher security lockbox. The Class Is are simple non-electronic key locks that anyone with a decent set of lockpicking skills can open. The Director and I compromised with restricting who had clearance to test the object.
Description: SCP-8237 is a large, leatherbound textbook bearing the name Impossible Feats and Their Solutions by the Wondertainment Publishing Division. The book has no discernable date of publication and has sustained considerable wear from consistent use. The contents of the book contain seemingly impossible feats with detailed instructions on how to perform them. These instructions appear to be backed by non- anomalous scientific principles, but are impossible to actually perform without breaking the aforementioned principles.
When a subject reads any given page, they will suddenly find themselves experiencing that given action either as a participant or bystander. Research has concluded that a subject will only be affected once they have partially read any given page and the subject is unable to deviate from the present action until it is complete.
Addendum-8237-1 (Acquisition): SCP-8237 was discovered by Dr. Stultus on the desk of a Site-632 employee, yet he was unable to identify who worked at the desk in question. Accompanied with the tome was the following letter: Access Document 8237-1 Hello old friend, It's been quite a few years, how have you been? I've been doing quite well, not that you'd care. We left things off on quite a sour note, you trying to strangle me and all, but that's all in the past now, isn't it? I come to you with a proposition, a peace offering if you will.
This is a book I think you would find quite fascinating. The stuff in here allows the reader to do anything short of breaking reality. I would recommend keeping this thing locked up, but I know the Foundation. They're going to use every method available to find some use from this book. I was hoping that, by giving it to you, you can make sure it doesn't fall into the wrong hands. You know well what the anomalous can do, so I trust you to keep this book safe.
Or maybe you'll try and use it to fix all the issues you've got inside that head of yours. Either way, it's yours now. Do with it as you will, but know that I'll be watching to see how this all plays out.
See you on the Wayside, Dr. John M. Finch The Alternative Note: I've never heard of this person before. I advise we take what they say with an air of caution. There has to be a reason they gave this book to us. As the Researcher Head, I advise we start testing until contact can be made with this individual. -Research Head Stultus Addendum-8237-2 (Testing): Notice: For a full list of unabridged testing logs, please contact Site Director Herbane Test No. 8237-1 Subject: D-3245 Page: 15 Topic: How to Cook a Steak Without Fire Results: Subject requested and was granted one full (unpackaged) T-bone steak. Subject then began repeatedly slapping the uncooked steak. After numerous unsuccessful attempts at getting the Subject to stop, security personnel were called in to remove the subject. Subject displayed high distress at being removed and refused to respond to any attempts at questioning. Subject was sedated and has been remanded to the Site Medical Wing.
Test No. 8237-12 Subject: D-2643 Page: 294 Topic: How to Make a Friend Results: No immediate effects. Subject experienced extreme behavioral shift and was shown to be much more docile and compliant with security.
Test No. 8237-26 Subject: D-9267 Page: 315 Topic: How to Throw Results: Subject requested and was granted a single baseball. Subject then proceeded to pitch the ball at supersonic speeds, resulting in damage to the testing room wall and extreme damage to the subject's arm. After several months of medical treatment, the subject was asked to reproduce the effects.
The resulting pitch caused extensive damage to the testing room and to D-9267's arm and eardrums. Subject subsequently terminated Note: We're getting close to…something. At least we know these effects are repeatable -RH Stultus Test No. 8237-39 Subject: D-9264 Page: 15 Topic: How to Cook a Steak Without Fire Results: As per previous tests, subject requested and was delivered one unpackaged T-Bone steak. Upon delivery, subject slapped the steak at the speed of over 3,000 mph, resulting in the immediate cooking of the steak and the total destruction of the subject's arm. At the request of Dr. Stultus, the subject was provided with another steak with the expectation that they would use their remaining arm to repeat the effect. The subject refused to comply and was subsequently terminated.
Test No. 8237-67 Subject: N/A (This test utilized a remote-controlled robotic arm) Note: Y'know what? Fine. I'll grant you this if you're so worried about "unnecessary injury" -RH Stultus Page: 421 Topic: How to Swim in a Spent Fuel Pool Results: Remote-controlled arm spontaneously combusted, resulting in several injured personnel and extensive damage to Foundation equipment.
Source of combustion determined to be the arm's internal power module.
Test No. 8237-85 Subject: D-8632 Page: 163 Topic: Going Faster than Wind Results: Subject was asked to run after the contents of the book described a high increase in speed. Subject remained hesitant until the threat of termination, at which point he began to run at an exponentially increasing rate. After several seconds, subject lost control and collided with a testing chamber wall, causing extensive damage to both themselves and the surrounding environment. Subject terminated.
Note: I don't care how much it costs and I don't care if you have to clean the D-Class off the floor. Testing will continue until we figure out everything this book can do! -RH Stultus Test No. 8237-106 Subject: D-9346 Page: 506 Topic: Lightning DOES Strike Twice!
Results: Subject was able to produce an incomprehensibly complex mathematical formula that the subject claimed would "be able to get the lotto every damn time". The formula was initially confiscated by Dr. Stultus until Site Security forcefully removed the information from his possession. Subject was subsequently terminated Notice: Dr. Stultus has been suspended from research pending a formal inquiry into his misuse of Foundation resources -Dir. Herbane Addendum 8237-3 (Document 8237-2): The following message was received by Dir. Herbane On 02/13/1987 at 21:50:00. Dir.
Herbane had been invited to Site 19 to coordinate an experiment and was not able to receive the message.
To: Site Director Gabriel Herbane From: Doctor Charles Stultus Subject: Gabe, I'm not sure if this will even make it to you, but I just need to explain why I'm about to do this. A few years ago I came across…something I would rather not relive. I've tried so hard to forget, and then I met The Alternative. I thought they would've made me forget everything if I just told him what had happened. I gave him my story, but I was wrong. In fact, I think the nightmares have gotten worse since I met them. I've been stealing amnestics for personal use, but I haven't had much luck with wiping these memories completely.
The book has to hide something that will be able to help me. I don't care if it's a mind-wipe or some way to get my hands on that Finch guy. This book is the key to giving me peace, we just need to keep looking. I've been going through so many pages that at this point I know we're close to something. I know what I need to do. I'm not sure what's going to happen, but know that no matter what, I'm sorry for all the harm I've caused in my search for peace of mind.
Goodbye, Charles Addendum 8237-4 (Incident-8237-ALTER): Foreword: On 02/13/1987, Site-632 underwent a breach of containment initiated by former Research Head Dr. C. Stultus. The incident in question was captured on video, with accompanying audio being unrecoverable.
[BEGIN VIDEO LOG] 23:00:00: Researcher Stultus is seen entering the Site-632 Secure Storage Area. The identification card utilized to gain access is registered to Security Officer Hyles, who had gone off-duty for an unauthorized smoking break.
23:03:00: Researcher Stultus locates SCP-8237's Secure Item Lockbox.
23:03:05: Researcher Stultus produces a set of lockpicking equipment and attempts to open SCP-8237's Secure Lockbox.
23:03:20: Researcher Stultus is successful at opening the Lockbox and removes SCP-8237 from its containment.
23:03:22: On-duty Security Personnel enters the chamber. Security Personnel engages in a conversation with Dr. Stultus in an attempt to reach a peaceful resolution. Dr. Stultus is seen to be extremely agitated and is seen shouting at Security Personnel.
23:03:31 Security Personnel recognizes that SCP-8237 was removed from containment and withdrew their firearm. A much more aggressive conversation follows in which Security Personnel continues attempts to remove Dr. Stultus from the Storage Area.
23:03:37 Dr. Stultus is seen to have increased aggravation and is visibly distressed.
23:03:44: Researcher Stultus opens SCP-8237 to a random page. Upon closer inspection, the page selected read "All the Elements, All the Time!" The iconography of a mushroom cloud is visible on the title page.
23:03:45: All transmissions to and from Site-632 are suddenly disconnected.
[END VIDEO LOG] Addendum: Site-632 and the nearby town was destroyed via mass explosion. Seeing as Site-632 was not equipped with any detonation failsafe, an investigation was immediately initiated to determine the cause. Post- incident analysis of security footage revealed that Dr. Stultus had been the source of the explosion, but no concrete explanation has been found at this time. Standard media suppression tactics were successfully employed and non-Foundation law enforcement has been deterred.
Addendum 8237-5 (Document 8237-3): The following message was received by all Level 5 personnel via Foundation Intranet. It is still unclear how PoI-2587 was able to access to secure Foundation servers and the issue is being looked into: Access Document 8237-3 Disappointing, but what did I expect from you?
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