SCP Foundation Secure, Contain, Protect About About Us Site Rules FAQ Licensing Criticism Policy Article Deletions Community Site News IRC Chat Authors' Pages Artist Directory Contest Archive Staff List Resources Guides Essays & Resources Wiki Syntax Sandbox Usertools Sister Sites SCP International Wanderer's Library Contact Us ≡ About About Us Site Rules FAQ Licensing Criticism Policy Article Deletions Contact Staff Community Site News IRC Chat Authors' Pages Artist Directory Contest Archive Staff List Resources Guides Search this site Search • ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ • ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ • ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ • ◦ ◦ • • ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ • ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ • ◦ Essays & Resources Wiki Syntax Sandbox Usertools Sister Sites SCP International Wanderer's Library Create account or Sign in Getting Started Guide for Newcomers Join the Site Contribute | FAQ Universe Hub Main | Forum SCP by Series I | II | III | IV | V VI | VII | VIII | IX Other SCP Explained | Joke International Feed New Pages Shortest | Top Rated Recent Changes New Forum Posts Lowest Rated Pages Stories Tales Hub | Series Groups of Interest GoI Formats Canon Hub Discovery Artwork Hub Curated Lists Curated Tale Series Tag Search Random SCP | Tale | GOI | Art Random Page ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ • ◦ ◦ SCP-1296 rating: +510+–x Item #: SCP-1296 Object Class: Anomalous Phenomenon Containment Class: Active Hazard Rating: Green Standard Containment Policies: Contact information on file within Secure Archive 11 Special Containment Procedures: Schedule C experimentation plan (Remote Testing Area 3).
Specimens acquired through use of SCP-1296 to be stored in RTA-3 biological storage unit and disposed of after recovery and study according to biological specimen clearance protocols outlined in Document CDP-BIO-EN-1.
Accounts of contact with SCP-1296 outside of Foundation jurisdiction are to be investigated and addressed as they occur.
Description: SCP-1296 is a Volga M24 model automobile belonging to a service identifying itself as Dial-a-Llama. The vehicle itself displays minor physical alteration: baggage bars have been installed on the roof, the rear seats have been removed, and the vehicle is incorrectly labeled as manufactured by the Toyota company. The Dial-a- Llama company’s contact information and slogans are painted on the sides of the vehicle.
Upon calling the provided telephone number, callers will be put in contact with a sales representative from Dial-a-Llama, henceforth referred to as SCP-1296-a. Attempts to find the location of SCP-1296-a or to acquire any additional from it have failed.
SCP-1296 will manifest within two hours of placing the order at the caller’s location, regardless of any changes in location made during the time between the call and the delivery. No maximum range to SCP-1296’s manifestations has been found, but it will require adequate space for the vehicle to manifest. Attempts to track SCP-1296 have failed: GPS devices attached to the vehicle have ceased function after SCP-1296 has left view, and it has consistently evaded pursuit. SCP-1296 will always manifest with one driver of varying appearance, and two to eight llamas in addition to whatever specimen was ordered. The cost of the order will vary without apparent pattern.
Interview Log-01 The following log was made during testing on 09/07/2012.
SCP-1296-a: Welcome to Dial-a-Llama, how may I help you?
• • • • Dr. █████████: Uh, yes, I was wondering if you could get me some additional information about your company?
SCP-1296-a: What would you even need to know? You need a llama, Dial-a- Llama gets you a llama. Anytime, anyplace. It’s our name.
Dr. █████████: Yes, I know that, but I- SCP-1296-a: You call us, you order a llama, we get you a llama. Not that hard.
Dr. █████████: Where do you get these llamas?
SCP-1296-a: Look, man, do you want a llama or not? This isn’t the twenty questions hotline. This is the two questions hotline: Question one: Do you want a llama? Question two: What kind of llama do you want? If the answer to the first is no, then why are you calling?
Dr. █████████: Let me speak to your manager.
SCP-1296-a: Nope. Sunk that ship. We don’t put up with harassment around here. Good day to you sir.
Dr. █████████: [sighs] Okay, okay, I’ll buy a llama. Just one llama, nothing special.
SCP-1296-a: Alrighty then, that’ll be forty-five. Cash or credit?
Dr. █████████: Cash.
SCP-1296-a: The Llamamobile will be there in two hours or less. Have a wonderful day, jackass.
Interview Log-02 The following log was made upon delivery on 09/07/2012. The driver of SCP-1296 has been designated SCP-1296-b.
SCP-1296-b: Hey, you the guy who ordered a llama?
Dr. █████████: Yes, that's me.
SCP-1296-b: Forty-five, please.
Dr. █████████: [pays SCP-1296-b] If it's at all possible, could I ask you a few questions about your… SCP-1296-b: Not this again. You just won't give it up, will you? You order llamas. We get you llamas. From the top of Mount Everest to the bottom of the Marianas Trench, if you need a llama, we will get you that llama. Now stop being nosy. Yours is the grey one in the back.
Test Logs: Ordered: Three llamas Time for Delivery: Three minutes Cost: $33 Result: Two female and one male llama. No anomalies were detected in the specimens.
Ordered: One pregnant female llama, with a brown spot on the left side.
Time for Delivery: Seventeen minutes Cost: $50 Result: One llama matching the description ordered. No anomalies were detected in the specimen.
Ordered: One alpaca Time for Delivery: One hour and forty-three minutes Cost: $17 Result: One male llama. Specimen had the hide of an alpaca glued to it. Closer inspection revealed that the hide had been freshly skinned.
Ordered: One lama Time for Delivery: One hour and twenty-seven minutes Cost: $200.02 Result: ███ ██████, a Buddhist monk. Subject had no recollection of events preceding delivery. Subject was administered amnestics and released without incident.
Ordered: One robotic llama Time for Delivery: One hour and thirteen minutes Cost: $3561.87 Result: One automaton in the shape of a llama. Behavior was identical to that of a biological llama.
Ordered: SCP-1545 Time for Delivery: Fifteen seconds Cost: None Notes: SCP-1545 was observed to vanish from its containment locker upon ordering.
SCP-1545 was delivered fifteen seconds later, containing two deceased individuals, both unidentified; autopsy revealed that they had been deceased for at least twenty-four hours. Delivery consisted of SCP-1296 driving past the delivery area at approximately 150 km/h; SCP-1545 was thrown from the roof by a second SCP-1296-b subject.
SCP-1296-b-2 was heard to scream "Just fucking take it!" before departure.
« SCP-1295 | SCP-1296 | SCP-1297 » ‡ Licensing / Citation Cite this page as: "SCP-1296" by Djoric, from the SCP Wiki. Source: https://scpwiki.com/ scp-1296. Licensed under CC-BY-SA.
For information on how to use this component, see the License Box component. To read about licensing policy, see the Licensing Guide.
_licenseboxaliveanimalcomedyesoteric-classscpteleportationtransmissionvehicle page revision: 34, last edited: 08 Sep 2024 09:07 Edit Rate (+510) Tags Discuss (163) History Files Print Site tools + Options Edit Sections Append Edit Meta Watchers Backlinks Page Source Parent Lock Page Rename Delete Help  | Terms of Service  | Privacy  | Report a bug  | Flag as objectionable Powered by Wikidot.com Unless otherwise stated, the content of this page is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 License Click here to edit contents of this page.
Click here to toggle editing of individual sections of the page (if possible). Watch headings for an "edit" link when available.
Append content without editing the whole page source.
Check out how this page has evolved in the past.
If you want to discuss contents of this page - this is the easiest way to do it.
View and manage file attachments for this page.
A few useful tools to manage this Site.
See pages that link to and include this page.
Change the name (also URL address, possibly the category) of the page.
View wiki source for this page without editing.
View/set parent page (used for creating breadcrumbs and structured layout).
Notify administrators if there is objectionable content in this page.
Something does not work as expected? Find out what you can do.
General Wikidot.com documentation and help section.
Wikidot.com Terms of Service - what you can, what you should not etc.
Wikidot.com Privacy Policy.
