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Description: SCP-3569 is a .8 meter tall wooden rabbit statue with a tray attached. It appears to be hand painted and has the words "Buuny Butler"(sic) written in pencil across the baseboard. No electronic or mechanical devices have been found within the statue or tray, and all samples taken consist entirely of Cedar Wood, PVA Glue, and Acrylic Paint. It has no anomalous effects until two circumstances are met.
There is only one child under the age of 10 who can talk and comprehend human speech within the same room as the statue. Any number of subjects above this age may be present.
Said child is holding an inorganic object 375 g-907 g in weight. This object is to be classified as SCP-3569-1 while the events of SCP-3569 are transpiring. Once the events have concluded, the classification can be removed and the object considered mundane.
Once the two conditions are met, SCP-3569-1 will disappear from the child's hand and a jingle will play, consisting of a short run up the harmonic scale played on a xylophone and originating from a point .5 meters above SCP-3569's tray. After the music has concluded, a voice (classified as SCP-3569-2) will speak from the same origin point, calling the effected child by name, and asking if they want to know about their "toy" (SCP-3569-1). Voice recognition attempts so far have been unsuccessful.
In the case of a negative response, the voice will respond with an equally negative remark, SCP-3569-1 will reappear in the child's hand, and the events will be considered complete. In the case of a positive response, SCP-3569-1 will appear on the tray, and the tray will slowly rotate. SCP-3569-2 will then begin to list attributes of SCP-3569-1, for anywhere from 3-15 minutes. It will start with the simple, plainly visible traits, and then give trivia facts about the object. During this time, the object will slowly rise off of the tray, and hover at the exact point of origin for the voice.
Once SCP-3569-2 has completed its list, it will then ask the child if they would like a better toy. If a negative answer is given, the result will be similar to if the child had responded negatively to the first question. If a positive answer is given, SCP-3569-1 will disappear, the jingle will repeat, and an object of the exact same weight will appear in its place. The object spawned will be entirely random, however it is always inorganic and manmade. Spawned objects are to be classified as SCP-3569-1-A. SCP-3569-2 will 1.
2.
begin listing facts about the new object as it did with the previous. A list of spawned objects can be found in Article 3569-1.
This process will repeat until the child gives a negative answer, at which point the voice will give its own negative remark, and the spawned object will appear in the child's hand in a safe position. If the spawned item has a blade or another part dangerous to the touch, that area will always spawn away from the child.
Experiment Log-3569 Experiment-3569-1: Subject: D-71883 (Age approx. 35) Procedure: Subject was brought into the room with SCP-3569 and given a flashlight (481 g) to hold, escorted by Dr. H█████ and two members of security staff.
Results: Test was canceled after 30 minutes of inactivity from SCP-3569.
Experiment-3569-2: Subject: Catherine H█████ (Age 6, Daughter of Dr. H█████) Procedure: Subject was brought into the room with SCP-3569 and given a flashlight (481 g) to hold, escorted by Dr. H█████ and three members of security staff.
Results: SCP-3569 spawned two instances of SCP-3569-1A, the final being a stuffed teddy bear, which was given to the subject. Record of the conversation can be found in the transcription logs.
Experiment-3569-6: Subject: David R████ (Age 9) Procedure: Subject was brought into the room with SCP-3569 and given a bag of marbles (822 g) to hold, escorted by Dr. H█████ and two members of security staff.
Results: SCP-3569 spawned four instances of SCP-3569-1A, the final being a machete, coated in [REDACTED]. Abbreviated Records of the conversation can be found in the transcription logs.
Transcription Logs Transcription Log for Experiment-3569-2: <Begin Log> The Subject, Dr. H█████, and three security personnel enter the room with SCP-3569. SCP-3569-1 disappears from the subject's hands. Subject makes an audible gasp.
SCP-3569-2: Well hello, Catherine! I like your flashlight, it's a fun toy! Would you like to learn more about your amazing flashlight?
Subject: [inaudible] SCP-3569-2: I'm sorry there Catherine, I didn't quite hear ya!
Dr. H█████: Go ahead, sweetie.
Subject: …Sure.
SCP-3569-2: Well great!
SCP-3569-1 reappears on the tray.
SCP-3569-2: This flashlight is a lovely blue color! It has three bulbs, and dear me, its over a pound! It's got a nice rubber grip, and it's even got an arm- band. How smart! This was made by [MANUFACTURER AND DATE REDACTED]. It's had 4 previous owners, your dad included! In fact, he just gave it to you a few minutes ago didn't he? What a responsible gift. Now you don't have to be afraid of any more monsters in the closet.
SCP-3569-2 continues in this fashion for an additional 2 minutes. Subject actively listens during this time.
SCP-3569-2: Now that you know how great this toy is, it's hard to imagine a better one! But that's what I'm for after all. How would you like an even better toy than this?
Subject looks to Dr. H█████, who nods.
Subject: Okay!
SCP-3569-1 disappears and is replaced with a ████████ themed backpack (SCP-3569-1A). SCP-3569-2 then describes SCP-3569-1A in the same fashion as the previous object, continuing for 5 minutes.
SCP-3569-2: So Catherine, what do you think, is this toy cool enough for a cool girl like you? Or do you want an even better toy than this one?
Subject: Better, please!
SCP-3569-2: Look at you being so polite! I'm very proud!
SCP-3569-1A disappears and is replaced with a teddy bear. SCP-3569-2 then describes SCP-3569-1A in the same fashion as the previous object, continuing for 7 minutes.
SCP-3569-2: Alright Catherine, This toy is by far my best yet, but I'm willing to go for better! Whadda'ya say?
Dr. H█████ waves to the subject to stop the test.
Subject: That's okay, thank you anyways.
SCP-3569-2: Awe shucks! I was all excited to bring a new toy for you. That's okay though. I can't stay mad at such a polite young girl! Bye-Bye!
SCP-3569-1A disappears and reappears in the subject's hands. The subject proceeds to hug the teddy bear.
Subject: Daddy! Daddy! The bunny gave me a new teddy!
Dr. H█████: I see that sweetie. This marks the end of Experiment-3569-2.
<End Log> Abbreviated Transcription Log for Experiment-3569-6: <Begin Log> The Subject, Dr. H█████, and three security personnel have been participating in the events of SCP-3569 for approx. 40 minutes. The Subject is visibly bored. SCP-3569-2 finishes his statement and pauses.
SCP-3569-2: I'm sorry if I'm getting boring there David! I understand that sports aren't everybody's thing. So how about this, I'll do ya one better, sound good?
Subject: Yea, sure.
SCP-3569-2: Well alright grumpy guss, how's this?
SCP-3569-1A (bucket of baseballs) disappears and is replaced with a machete coated in [REDACTED]. All four subjects in the room turn away, presumably from the stench now present.
Dr. H█████: Ah [EXPLETIVE REDACTED]… Subject: Ew, What is that?
SCP-3569-2: That, David, is a ██████ Tool & Knife Machete! Right now it's covered in some yucky stuff, but that's easily cleaned with bleach! I'm sure your parents will help ya clean it up if ya ask nicely. Anyways, [EXTRANEOUS INFORMATION REDACTED] Dr. H█████: You know what? That's enough for this one. Call it off, David, this Experiment's done.
Subject: That's ok Mr. Bunny, I gotta go.
SCP-3569-2: You can call me the Bunny Butler. It says so on my base there!
And I understand. Sometimes Grown-Ups don't understand my toys. I'm sure you'll love it, though. Bye-Bye!
SCP-3569-1A then appears in the subjects hand, and is subsequently dropped. Dr. H█████ picks up SCP-3569-1A and escorts the subject and security staff from the room.
<End Log> Article 3569-1: List of Spawned Objects List of Spawned Objects: ████████ themed backpack filled with paper. 481 g. Experiment-3569-2 Teddy bear. 481 g. Experiment-3569-2 Framed painting. 822 g. Experiment-3569-6 Ball Peen Hammer. 822 g. Experiment-3569-6 Bucket of baseballs. 822 g. Experiment-3569-6 Machete inscribed with the words "Boricua Popular1". 822 g.
Experiment-3569-6 Steel ballpoint pen. 510 g. Experiment-3569-9 ███████ TV remote. 510 g. Experiment-3569-9 Wooden coaster. 510 g. Experiment-3569-9 █████ ███████ action figure. 566 g. Experiment-3569-14 Stack of 3 children's books. 566 g. Experiment-3569-14 Empty flower pot. 566 g. Experiment-3569-14 Stone tablet, language unknown. 566 g. Experiment-3569-14 SCP-3569 was found in █████, Florida, in an orphanage. The statue came to the attention of The Foundation when the local news reported on a fight that broke out in said orphanage, and one child wounded another with a WWI era military shovel. The boy had claimed to get the shovel by trading his blanket with "the bunny". The Foundation confiscated SCP-3569 and administered Class-C Amnestics to the children and caretakers involved.
Footnotes 1. A political activist group in Puerto Rico also known as "The Machete Wielders".
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