Honour lifted her eyebrows and started shaking her head. "I want to, but I... I get in this state where right as I'm about to get what I've always desired, I pull back, like it's suddenly turned to poison." With a deep breath, she lifted a forehoof, placing its frog against her forehead. "... I did it to Castlerook. More than once, even. I wanted him, and I knew he wanted me, and I just -- I just pulled back from him, I don't know why..."