... Oh? You wanna know what I was doing to this huge keg wedged between my ice box and the moldy back wall? Simple, really. I was turning the tap, for one. On the little metallic nozzle that protruded near its base. For two, I was holding a mug under it, making sure not a drop of beer that poured out of the spigot would splash on the floor. That right there was liquid gold, and not meant to be squandered.