For a good minute or two, she tried to make sense of what had just happened. I expected her to rebuke with violence, or at least, to push back a little. But when she slumped, when she accepted the monstrosities I flung her way, I knew it was over. I had won. For the first time, I had emerged victorious over Twilight Sparkle. Turns out, all I needed to do was to become the missing link between a vitriolic curmudgeon and a drunk asshole. Duly noted for the future.