Handy didn't really have an answer for that and remained silent for several moments. He knew he hadn’t been in his right mind back then, having only just turned and the ingested salamander salve and the blood high he had ran on doing only God knows what to his thought processes. Still, he hadn’t killed her when he had the opportunity then, and he wasn't exactly sure why. The thestral took the opportunity of the human's internal struggle, and in a sudden motion, she managed to lift the shield off of her, Handy's weight and all, long enough for her to roll out from under it. He hit the ground but quickly recovered and came back to his feet. She shook her head, trying to clear it once more before locking eyes with the human.