I kept rewinding that tape, replaying it from the start. Evaluating in great details every little thing that I could remember. During that unpleasant evening, I had been so wasted, so angry, that my mind blanked the nastier parts to protect me. And I wasn’t going to stop thinking about it until every gap was filled up with a lost memory. I wanted- needed to make sure my forced amnesia was out of my skull. I was obsessed to unreasonable levels. My entire focus was dedicated to this torturous mental exercise.