Her question caused him to pause and he looked down at his book, surprised at how tightly he was clutching it to his chest. He tried to imagine himself letting go of the book for good and for some reason, it churned his stomach and made him clutch it tighter to his chest. It made no sense; the blasted thing said that he wasn't a free griffon, that his life wasn't his own, that he owed the government an unpayable debt but he could not give it up.